Yo, folks! Ever heard of email apnea? No, it's not some fancy yoga move—it's that wild moment when you totally stop breathing while reading an email! I mean, come on, who hasn't felt like they were facing a bear when they see a subject line that says "just checking in"? It's like a mini heart attack every time! We dive into why our bodies freak out over emails and even texts, giving us headaches and jaw clenching like we’re solving a murder mystery while logging into Outlook. But don’t sweat it! I’ve got a chill tip to help you breathe easy before you tackle those inbox monsters. Buckle up and laugh along with us as we tackle the absurdity of our digital lives!
Takeaways:
Ever heard of email apnea? Yeah, it's when you hold your breath reading emails—like, what?
I swear, every time I see 'just checking in,' my heart races like I saw a bear!
Emails are the new scary monsters under the bed—who knew?
Pro tip: Before you dive into emails, take a deep breath—your shoulders will thank you!
No one ever sends an email saying 'great news, nothing's required from you'—that’s just a fairy tale!
Seriously, if you feel like you're solving a murder while checking emails, you might have email apnea!
Transcripts
Speaker A:
Good morning.
Speaker A:
It's Haystack.
Speaker A:
Here's a fascinating new thing.
Speaker A:
Email apnea.
Speaker A:
Have you ever noticed that when you read an email, it feels kind of dangerous?
Speaker A:
Way more dangerous than it should.
Speaker A:
There is this thing that's being called email apnea, where you stop breathing while you read emails.
Speaker A:
Which explains a lot, because every time I see an email with a subject line that says, just checking in, my body reacts like I've encountered a bear.
Speaker A:
I don't even open the email right away.
Speaker A:
I just kind of stare at it first.
Speaker A:
Hi.
Speaker A:
Why are you saying hi like that?
Speaker A:
What did I do wrong?
Speaker A:
Experts are saying that we unconsciously hold our breath while reading emails.
Speaker A:
Yeah, of course we do.
Speaker A:
Half the emails start with per my last email.
Speaker A:
That's not a sentence, that's a threat.
Speaker A:
And it's apparently not just emails.
Speaker A:
They say it happens while texting and scrolling socials too.
Speaker A:
Which makes sense because I swear I can spend 20 minutes on social media without breathing one time.
Speaker A:
At this point, my lungs think that Instagram is an underwater sport.
Speaker A:
The funny part about it is that our bodies interpret incoming emails.
Speaker A:
And I'm not making this up like a threat.
Speaker A:
And our body's not completely wrong.
Speaker A:
Nobody's ever sent an email that says, great news.
Speaker A:
Nothing is required from you.
Speaker A:
It's always quick question.
Speaker A:
No, it's never quick.
Speaker A:
Or.
Speaker A:
Can you take a look at this?
Speaker A:
Let me translate that for you.
Speaker A:
Congratulations.
Speaker A:
This is your problem now.
Speaker A:
And you do get physical symptoms from this.
Speaker A:
Email apnea.
Speaker A:
You get headaches, muscle tension, jaw clenching.
Speaker A:
That's why every office worker looks like they're trying to solve a murder.
Speaker A:
While opening Outlook.
Speaker A:
The solution is simple, though.
Speaker A:
Before you read an email, before you even open an email, take a slow breath out and relax your shoulders.
Speaker A:
And I've been trying it, and it actually works.
Speaker A:
I can now calmly open messages and read things like circling breath, circling back.
