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12. The SERENE Way to Self Love After a Difficult or Harmful Relationship with Your Mum ft. Geraldine Crane
Episode 1226th October 2023 • The Book Coach Chronicles • Holly Ostrout
00:00:00 00:46:01

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In this episode, we're talking to Geraldine Crane who shares her spiritual guidance on applying the SERENE Way to self love, healing mother wounds, and creating inner peace.

If you ever find yourself struggling with self love and past wounds, that impact your creative life and trusting your own judgement, then don't miss this episode.

Geraldine is a Serene Spiritual Empowerment Guide helping women, rebuild their self-worth, after a difficult or harmful relationship with their mother. Using Serene Spiritual Hypnotherapy and coaching Geraldine reconnects them to their inner wisdom and inner power, whilst also enabling them to feel the love of their Spirit Guides, so they can embrace their magnificence and start having happier, healthier relationships in all areas of their lives.

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Geraldine Crane:

Self love is having that same tenderness. Patience, compassion that you have for those people you love dearly. You know, if your child falls off a bike, you don't just, Oh my God, that was so stupid. Why did you do that? You, you pick them up, you brush them off, say, we've got this, come on. And it's having that same kindness for yourself.

Holly Ostara:

Welcome to the dream season, a podcast for entrepreneurs, writers, and creatives of all kinds, looking to finally find some balance in your life. So you can get back to enjoying the things you love and even the things you don't love, but have to do anyway. I'm your host, Holly Ostara, and together we're going to bring delight, inspiration, and sustainability to your creative flow one season at a time.

So let's make this the season of your dreams. 

Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of the dream season today. I'm really excited to be with Geraldine crane. Geraldine is a serene spiritual empowerment guide, helping women rebuild their self worth after a difficult or harmful relationship with their mother. We'll Using serene spiritual hypnotherapy and coaching, Geraldine reconnects them to their inner wisdom and inner power, whilst also enabling them to feel the love of their spirit guides so they can embrace their magnificence and start having happier, healthier relationships in all areas of their lives. 

Thank you so much for joining me today, Geraldine. 

Geraldine Crane:

Thank you for having me.

Holly Ostara:

I am really excited to talk to you today about the serene way. Could you just go ahead and give us an overview of what that is?

Geraldine Crane:

So the Serene Way is a seven step, seven month program that is designed to help women to heal their mother wounds using the love of the universe. 

So it's a program to help people who've had a harmful or difficult relationship with their mom to heal wounds that are very common as a result of that. So people pleasing, not trusting your own judgment, taking responsibility for everybody else's wellbeing. Always putting yourself last, you know, hyper vigilant, sometimes hyper independent and often, you know very sensitive souls who just take it all on and, don't take care of themselves and tend to have like quite low self worth. 

So the program's designed to help you to reconnect with who you really are, to help you to reconnect with your spirit guides and your inner divinity and start really realizing how awesome. They are. So we do it through seven modules. The first module, which is one a month, the first module is looking at understanding mother wounds. 

So understanding the different forms that harmful behavior can take, because actually it's much wider and much more varied than people realize. And then looking at the consequences, what that can mean for you in the long term. And then we kind of leave that stuff there and the rest of the program is really focused on the individual and their healing and really letting them get peace in their lives. 

So we go through what the serene way, which starts with S meaning stillness. And we look at different ways you can find stillness and how important it is to reconnect with yourself and pause and realize that you're living in the experience of your thinking and how that can change your perception and your whole experience of life. 

Then the next module is E. We're looking at emotions. So we're looking at not resisting your emotions and working with them and seeing what they're telling you and, not being so scared of them anymore, being able to express them. Then we look at R which is reconnection. And that's about connecting with your spirit guides in your inner divinity, but also just reconnecting with who you really are, not who you've been told you are. 

That can be a really big module. It's really deep. It's beautiful. And then we look at E, which is energy. So looking that we are energetic beings and that we need to protect our energy, how you can keep your energy and your vibration high, how you can go with the flow of life. Really looking into teachings of spiritual teachers like Abraham Hicks. 

So it's a really special module as well. And then we move on to, N, which is now. So that's the power of being in the now, in that present moment, not Losing and wasting your energy thinking about the past or the future and really staying very present and the power in that. And we look at gratitude and things like that in that session too. 

And then the next module is looking at empowerment. So that's how you can really start loving and honoring yourself and just realizing how amazing you are. So for each module, there's a lot of. Pre prepared content, there is videos, there's written exercises, journal prompts, guided meditation for each one and, recommended reading. 

And then we have twice a month, we have monthly meetings online where we talk about it and go through it. Sometimes I pull cards and sometimes we do a bit of a guided meditation if we've got time, but it's more about building that community and that safe space. So you can start realizing you're not on your own. 

That there's other people who have this difficult relationship with their mom who've had the same consequences and giving you that safe space to really talk about it without a fear of being judged and it's really beautiful the community that builds there and that's almost like the biggest part of it is that community that forms and that's why once the serene way is complete you then invite it to come and join. 

The Serene Spiritual Inner Circle, which is a long term membership and we keep meeting monthly and you keep having access to all that content from the course and it's, it's really beautiful when we do meet up. We met up, we met up recently and had a lot of giggles. There was a few tears and a lot of giggles. 

It's a really beautiful community. So, yeah, that's what it's all about.

Holly Ostara:

It sounds really lovely, and it sounds like, so we start with stillness, and then emotions, reconnection, energy, now, and empowerment. And to reach all these things, it sounds like we need to really investigate our mother wounds. 

So could, tell me what could cause , mother wounds?

Geraldine Crane:

There is all sorts of things that can cause mother wounds within that mother daughter relationship. There can be, one of the big ones I see time and time again is what we call parentification. So it's where the daughter, because I usually work with women though, of course this happens to sons too, where they're put in a position of being the parent in the relationship. 

They're put in that position of responsibility made to feel responsible for their physical well being and their emotional well being and it's actually that emotional well being that can be really heavy and sometimes put in the position of responsibility with younger siblings as well and it tends to lead to issues where you actually feel responsible for everybody's well being and you're constantly looking out for other people and not really taking care of yourself and also not having that safe space of somebody who protects and takes care of you. 

So a lot of the women I work with their mum wasn't a safe space for one reason or another, either when they showed their emotions they were punished, dismissed, laughed at, or sometimes they had, you know, worked with a few women there where the mothers were just cold, very very cold, and didn't communicate their feelings but also didn't let them express theirs, and that tends to lead to hyper independence, so just putting walls up, not trusting anybody will take care of them, and just take care of myself. 

But also that can lead to not wanting to be a burden on anybody else, not thinking they can look to other people, and so just holding their stuff to themselves. And that can be a lot for them to carry. There can be all sorts of other issues. There can be... There can even be sexual issues where mum has shared too much, and this is something I experienced personally, because all this has come from my own personal journey, where I, I wasn't ever a victim of sexual abuse myself, but was told way too much, way too young about experiences my mum had had, which then can cause passive trauma. 

But I've had clients who it's been direct and mum hasn't protected them or mum's been involved it, you know, it can go really deep. So there can be different, I hate to say the word severity because actually different things can cause different depths of wounds to different people. So whenever we're in the group we'd never talk about well mine was worse than yours because that's not the way we work. 

We're human beings and it's all about your perception of it. Everybody's different to what impacts them, and actually, having a mother who's very loving one minute, but can be very cold another, can be just as damaging, if not more sometimes, than a mother who's just cold. Because then at least you know what you're dealing with. 

Whereas I had that. very up and down, had moments where she could be incredibly loving and supportive and giving and then incredibly demanding or incredibly angry and I had to kind of, you know, tread on eggshells and that kind of can then lead to you feeling like you have to tread on eggshells all the time, like, I need to keep everybody happy. 

You don't really trust yourself that you, you know, you can just be yourself. You have to kind of be what other people want. There is, I could keep, I could go on all day. There is lots of different wounds that can be caused so many different ways. But the general wounds that we see is that people pleasing, just holding responsibility for everybody's well being, thinking they need to fix everything for everybody else and just putting themselves last, or just never feeling safe, never had that safe space to just be themselves or have their needs met, or just have somebody tell them it's okay, I've got you and it's That can cause so many wounds of just never quite feeling safe. 

I had a lot of issues where there was times my mum did make me feel safe and times she didn't. So for me, it was always that, oh, I'm not quite sure where I am. I'm never feeling quite stable. I've had clients whose. Mums are physically violent and so they never felt physically safe and have issues around that. 

So there is lots and lots of different ways. It can be just that over demanding mother, the constant criticism, Or one that I see a lot is if you didn't accept their worldview. And this certainly happened in my case and I see it a lot. If you haven't, if you didn't accept your mother's worldview, certainly the view of her, you'll get this a lot if there's a covert narcissistic mother, if you didn't accept their perception of themselves or what they want to put out to the world. 

Or their view of how other people have treated them, then it's a betrayal and you're on the other side. If they've had an argument with somebody, you have to accept their perception of it. You must take their side, you must believe them. There's very much an us and them all the time. 

And that, again, can really lead to you not really knowing, trusting your own opinion. So if you run your own business, it's a nightmare because you're having to check in with so many, is this right? Is this okay? Is that because you're not trusting your own judgment because you haven't been allowed to trust your own judgment. 

So it's about reconnecting you with your own intuition and really knowing you can trust your own judgment and it is there. You've just got distracted from it.

Holly Ostara:

Well, this all sounds very relatable to me, especially when you talked about, you know, mothers not feeling like a safe space or being hot and cold and not accepting their worldview of themselves or the rest of the world. 

All of that is very relatable to me. I suspect I probably have some pretty deep mother wounds. I went no contact with mine several years ago after she had a moment of name calling me and never apologized for it. But I remember always growing up and feeling like Well, she, she praises me. 

She's really excited when, for example, my art places is in a contest, and she tells all of her friends about it, and she's very proud of me, but at home, she's very verbally abusive, and in a very sly way and very emotionally neglectful and very cold and the hotness would come from the praise that I would get not directly to me, but to other people. 

And then I would feel so confused. Because I could never get the praise directly, or never get a hug, or never get, and I love you, or anything like that. And I know that really affected me, and that's something that when I had my daughter, I was determined to break that cycle and to make sure she never felt like that. 

But I can also see this. The effects of this popping up in my day to day life, and especially as I run my business and work on my own books and even in my, interactions with friends and to some degree in my interactions with my daughter, I'll catch myself before I react in a way that was, presented to me when I was younger. 

So it can really affect you. In so many ways, and how have you seen with your clients that these mother wounds have affected them and their businesses in particular?

Geraldine Crane:

So I do work with quite a lot of people who run their own businesses. And I think the biggest thing is anxiety. It tends to, you know, pretty much everybody I work with has anxiety. 

And so that can really come in when you run your own business. I always said to a friend recently, who's just recently set up her own business. So when running your own business will trigger all your triggers, it just will. You really need to be able to trust your own judgment and make those decisions by yourself and believe in yourself to be able to run a successful business. 

And if that one person when you were young that should have believed in you or backed you up or supported you and cheered you on when it... Even when it didn't reflect great on them, if you haven't had that, that means you, you don't have that, you know, that parental voice is often what plays over and over as we grow, as we grow up, if we don't learn to turn it down. 

And if that parental voice is critical or not supportive or selfish, just very focused on them, then you don't have that there. You don't have that safety net that's there. So running your own business. It can be quite lonely and quite scary. That's why tackling these mother wounds can be so impactful when you run your own business. 

It can really give you that clarity, trusting your own judgment, knowing your own worth and that you have a right. So one thing that I see a lot comes up is not feeling safe to charge properly. Not feeling... able to say, I am worth this and I need to be paid this amount, just feeling like, Oh no, I need to get everything, everything away for free. 

Especially as I tend to work with a lot of people who are healers or lightworkers, or, they tend to be counsellors, therapists, that kind of thing. They just feel this deep sense of responsibility for everyone and so just want to, give way too much of themselves and don't place a value on what they're doing. 

And that can come up. It's that people pleasing, just wanting to fix everything for everybody else and realising actually... You need to really know yourself. I always talk to my clients about being a lighthouse. In fact, I have lighthouses everywhere that I work. Because they talk about, you need to make sure your foundations are strong, that you know yourself. 

You need to make sure that your boundaries are firm. So you. You keep your boundaries nice and clear and honor yourself. And then you need to make sure that you have enough energy that your light is shining as bright as it can. Then that light shines the way for other people to find their way. Find their way home. 

What you can't do, which I see a lot of my clients wanting to do, is jump into everybody else's boats and steer them home. Because one, you can steer them to the wrong place. And actually make their journey much harder. Because you're taking them where you think they need to go. Not where they actually need to go. 

But also, you dim your own light. Because you're putting all that energy into all these little boats. Your lighthouse is dimming and dimming and dimming. And actually you're affecting, you're not being able to benefit so many more people. So it's really important that you stay as the lighthouse. Really make sure you're taking care of yourself, shine really bright, and then actually you benefit way more people. 

It's much less selfish and it empowers other people then to find their own way. That's a really important lesson, particularly when you're running your own business, that self care is part of running your own business. You can't run it if you don't take care of yourself.

Holly Ostara:

I loved what you said about shining bright. 

started, my business back in:

But I remember always calling her and telling her about, Oh, I, accomplished this today. I was so excited to, you know. Book a client today or something like that, or, anything really, and I would get nothing back. It would just be cold. It would be very cold, and I remember always wishing that I could have, I could call her and just have her be excited, and I felt like that really set me back, but I was also looking for that external validation, and we need to, I'm guessing you're going to tell me, we need to be able to look inside ourselves to find that validation.

Geraldine Crane:

You can't attach your happiness and your well being to other people's perceptions of you. Because for a start, somebody's opinion of you can change like that. So you're building it on sand. Like, it can go very fast. Your happiness has to come from within, it has to be, because then you're building on a secure base. 

But it's also you cannot attach your well being and how you feel about yourself to the success of your business either, because generally that won't serve you, it needs to go the other way around. You love yourself and then your business is more likely to thrive. It's also when we've had mother wounds, we've not really felt able to be ourselves. It tends to be when we start a business, we're either scared of what other people are going to think. I certainly was. I was really scared of what my extended family would think of what I did, especially because I'm so spiritual and not a lot of them are. I still think certain family members of mine just like, meh, you know, 

And I'm not sure how they would feel about, I speak so publicly about mother wounds and my relationship with my mom, and obviously they're related to her too. So, and I was really scared of, what is she gonna think? What is she gonna think? Can she see? And I was scared. I was literally scared. Is she gonna come at me? 

Is she gonna cause me problems? But, it can be that, just really having that faith in what you do, why you're doing it, and, Your ability, your capability to do it, that it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks. As long as it feels good in your soul. If it feels good to you, if it feels light, and it feels... 

It's, I always say to people, really, if you're trying to make a decision about something, if it feels really heavy, don't do it. If it feels light, it might feel nerve wracking, but if it feels light, move in that direction. Always move in that direction. And you, you feel it, don't you? If you, if you're constantly wanting validation from other people, it gets really heavy, really fast. 

Whereas if you really know yourself. And know what you're doing's right. It's light, it's not always easy. It's light, with any business, there's always ups and downs. But you have that faith, like, I really feel this is... This is my purpose. This is what I'm here to do. I want to break the stigma around talking about this stuff. 

Like, it's okay to talk about if your dad's not been perfect, but gosh, talk about your mother that way? How could you do that? That's disgusting. She gave birth to you. As if giving birth to you means you owe them something. It's actually the other way around. If you give birth to somebody, you are the one committing to the child, not the other way around. 

So it's really starting that conversation and that passion that I have about that keeps me going even when business is struggling some days or I'm having to do my expenses, um, to feel like, oh, technology, which doesn't come naturally to me, that keeps me going. Those emails and messages I get from women just saying, thank you, thank you for talking about this stuff. 

Thank you for making me feel like I'm not going crazy. I'm not my own. That keeps me going. And you need to find that in your business. What is it? Even if it's just making cakes because it makes people smile when they eat them. Great! That's amazing, you know, you've got to find that thing that you're really passionate about and it will, drive you that even if you do have mother wounds, you will damn well go out and fix them and sort them out. 

I say fix them, I think it's an ongoing process, or you just, the healing just keeps going deeper. But you have that driver to go and do that.

Holly Ostara:

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This is your season. Let's show the world. 

It's a journey and the journey is the destination as so many things. Well, as we're talking right now, we're in the autumn season and the autumn season is The flow season, the season when we really get that burst of energy to enter a flow state and really make a lot of progress on things that are important to us like passion projects, growing our business, writing books, things like that. 

How can people use the serene way to invigorate their flow season.

Geraldine Crane:

So if you keep the idea of stillness, emotions, reconnection, energy, now, empowerment, it's really about making sure that even though that you may feel in flow, that you still will need to pause and get stillness. Stillness is so, so important. 

If you don't get still, you will lose clarity because we get so distracted by our egoic, noisy, critical minds and the drama that can happen in life. The stillness allows you to quieten that mind, allows you to hear your inner wisdom. It's so important, and especially if you want things to flow and get things, you want to make sure you're going in the right direction. 

So stillness is really important. And emotions is, really listen to them. Let them guide you. If you're feeling uncomfortable, if you're, because I don't believe in negative emotions, I think emotions are telling you it is. So I don't really call any emotion negative, it's all showing you something. Like anger can be really positive at times, it can enable you to do things and get yourself out of toxic relationships, things like that can be really positive. 

So I never say a negative emotion, but the ones that can feel really uncomfortable, that's your whole body, your whole being telling you, you're believing something about yourself that isn't true here. Something's not right. Something needs to change. You know, I had incredible, deep anxiety for years. It was crippling. 

I couldn't decide what to wear, where to, you know, what to eat. I would have absolute meltdowns just looking at my wardrobe. It crippled me. I had lost jobs. I had to drop out of university when I was younger. It was awful. And I thought for years it was to do with being a carer. My, mum got very ill when I was 12 and I became her full time carer. 

And I just assumed it was the weight of that. But my body, those 30 odd years, was trying to say to me, something's wrong here. This relationship isn't healthy. You believe in you're responsible for somebody else, and you're not. And it was telling me, so you need to listen to your emotions. In your business, it will guide you. 

Something's not feeling comfortable, face it. Don't run away from it, because it'll just follow you. Like I heard a lovely story about when there's a storm, most animals won't run away from a storm. They will just keep running, but that means the storm follows them and they experience that storm for so much longer. 

But apparently buffalo... Turn around and run straight into the storm. And that means, yes, they have to deal with the storm, but they're out of it so much faster. So it's really thinking about your emotions. They're not something to run away from. They are your friend. They're an indicator. They're showing you something's up or something's great. 

So it's really trusting your emotions and then making sure you are reconnecting with yourself. The stillness helps with that. Making sure you know what your soul needs. What is your spirit? What is your inner divinity? Your higher self? You as a being. What do you need? Who are you? I was told I was selfish. 

I was a bad carer. Was never true. wasn't true. I remember my grandmother saying to me years later when we'd really bonded and she, we'd connected and she wasn't going by what she was being told. And she went, you're not selfish at all. 

So it's really making sure that, because It can happen in business. You can have other people trying to tell you you're this, that and the other. I certainly get trolls. Tell me I'm all sorts of things. You need to know who you are and stay really firm in that and have those people around you who you can absolutely be yourself. 

You don't have to pretend to be anyone. They will be honest with you and support you and cheer you on. Then, energy. Make sure you're taking care of your energy. You're not giving it all away. We can give energy all our, all our, you know, we can give energy to lots of people who don't deserve it. We can give energy to situations that aren't feeling good, but we can also waste energy by constantly being in the past, going ruminating over the past, or imagining scenarios in the future that 99 percent of the time will not come true. 

Certainly not exactly the way you imagine it. And you're not preparing yourself for it because life is completely unpredictable. All you're making yourself do is your subconscious is having to live through that. And it's not even real. So, it's making sure you're staying very present in the now, too. 

And then, with the empowerment, let yourself shine. Advertise yourself. Don't be scared. I've had real problems writing promotional posts about myself, and I'm finally being able to do it and say that the work with me is life changing. It's transformational. It's... deeply impactful. These were words I was like, Oh, Can I say that? 

Well, now I've had them given to me so many times by clients. Yes, I damn well can, but it's taken me time to get there. And there's also that constant kindness and patience with yourself. When we talk about self love, a lot of people think it means you just think you're the best thing ever. That's not what self love is. 

Self love is having that same tenderness. Patience, compassion that you have for those people you love dearly. You know, if your child falls off a bike, you don't just, Oh my God, that was so stupid. Why did you do that? You, you pick them up, you brush them off, say, we've got this, come on. And it's having that same kindness for yourself that when you, you know, we never get things right all the time in business, there's some investments I've made, I'm thinking, Oh my God, why did I do that? 

And some things, why didn't I do that? Why didn't I do this earlier? And you can really kick yourself. That's not self love. You've got to really treat yourself with that kindness and compassion and tenderness and just go, Oh, I did it again. Okay. Put judgment out the door. Let go of judgment, judging others, judging yourself, let it all go. 

And that's when the peace can come in and the clarity can come in.

Holly Ostara:

Self love is so important when you are running a business or trying to finish a passion project or do anything that's meaningful to you. You mentioned receiving trolls and the only real way to combat trolls in my experience is by loving yourself enough to realize that they are wrong. And if we've got mother wounds, that may be a little bit tougher to do than it would be otherwise.

Geraldine Crane:

Oh yeah. When I first started getting trolls. Because I had one, I had one post on TikTok that just went viral and I got, I got a lot of trolls and I was getting like 20 every 15 minutes. Um, and I just blocked. I just blocked, blocked, blocked. But now, I still, there was, that showed me there was healing still needed to happen. 

And healing will always need to happen. But now I, now I respond with assertive kindness.

Holly Ostara:

Tell me about that.

Geraldine Crane:

So, assertive kindness is responding very clearly of, I don't accept what you're saying. However, I can see that you're hurting, so I've had a lot of people, my mother died, how, you know, you should just look at you, you have a mother, and I always say I'm really sorry that happened. 

However, there are some of us who've not had the experience of having a loving, happy relationship, and we need to be able to talk about it and support one another, and I'm here for those people. So, I always think about it of, The women that I support, what would they, what do they need to see? If I just block that shoot to me, looks like shame. 

Like there's something I'm ashamed of. So I just block them or I'm not, I can't deal with it. I can't deal with it. No, I want to empower them to know that there is nothing wrong with having boundaries with your mother, with cutting contact, if that's what you need to do. It's not always necessary, but if that's what you need to do with. 

Loving and honoring yourself, protecting your energy, taking care of yourself, there is nothing wrong with doing that, and so I will always respond with assertive kindness, and I've had, I've had times where they've just completely turned around and said, Oh, sorry. And And I always try and think as well, trolls, I always believe we're all living in the experience of our thinking. 

And if you really think you need to be sending messages like that, you must be living in a very messy world of thinking that's quite unpleasant, and actually my heart goes out to them. It's just like, but I'm gonna leave you in that. I am not responsible for fixing it. I am not going to take any of it on because I want my world to be a beautiful place. 

So my compassion, my love goes out, boundaries go down.

Holly Ostara:

I would love for all of us to have a world that's a beautiful place. So could you give us one tip for our listeners so they could use to make their world a more beautiful place?

Geraldine Crane:

Oh, there's so many. Where would I start? Always remember the lighthouse I mentioned earlier. 

I think one of the key things is, know that you have a right to be happy. You have a right to be happy. Even if your happiness doesn't make some other people happy, that's actually their problem. That is not your problem. You follow your gut. You follow your instincts. And you, you do what brings you joy and more peace. 

Peace is the thing. A lot of people talk about happiness all the time, and happiness is actually a fleeting emotion and can come and go, but if you can really find your peace... If you can really be happy with who you are and know who you are, then that peace underlies everything. So even when things go up and go down, you know you, you, you're good. 

Deep down, there's a, the feelings, drama can still come into your life, we're all human, but that underlying peace is there. And also. I work very spiritually, always work with spirit, spirit guides, and will always encourage people to get still, allow them in, give them permission to work with you, give them permission to be there, even if you're not that aware of them yet, just give them permission, because they can't do anything without it. 

One of the main spiritual laws is free will, and they cannot break it. So, give them permission to be with you. Give them permission to support you. And get that stillness so you can start feeling, hearing them. Get that connection starting to build you up. Because the best business coaches in the world, your own spirit guides. 

They have your greatest good at the forefront all the time. They have got your back. They love you, no matter what. I also teach a course called the Serene Spiritual Development course, and that's where I help, I teach my way of connecting with spirit guides. And it, it's deeply impactful when you can connect to that unconditional love that maybe you haven't experienced in life, and you find it's there for you all the time. 

That can change everything. Stillness, and give them permission.

Holly Ostara:

How can people connect with their spirit guides if they're ready for that?

Geraldine Crane:

So, I take people through what I call the SAT method, which is stillness, allowing, and trust. So, stillness has to come first. You have to be able to get still. Now you can get still, you can still your mind by doing playful things, doing something that, I love the way Brené Brown puts it, play is something that serves no other purpose. 

Other than it nourishes you. It's that thing you can do that time just disappears. That's a really important thing because it slows this. Critical egoic mind down and you can, you can get some peace, but then you also need to get silence. So walking in nature, meditation in whatever form you can do the walking. 

I love it. I do ecstatic dance. It's a dance form of meditation, but making sure you're getting that silence where there isn't information coming in. So you can hear them and start feeling them. Give permission is a massive one. People think they have, but you have to expressly say, I welcome you in, please work with me, I need your help. 

Ask, ask for help for even the silliest, daftest things. I ask for help with all sorts, but always ask. I lose my keys, I always ask them, because generally they will show me. And then it's... Keep a really open mind as to the different ways they can communicate with you. They can communicate in so many different ways. 

So, it may be that you feel sensations on your body, warmth, cold, um, tingling. It can be that you feel a certain emotion, a warmth, peacefulness that just comes over you. It can be that you get images that come into your mind. It can be... You can be seeing light or colors when you, when you meditate, it can be seeing white feathers. 

robins, butterflies, they, it can be a past loved one, sometimes you can smell them or you can, hear music that reminds you, music's a big one, they come through a lot in music, so if you're going through a particular experience and that lyric just stands, screams at you, that's them. They're, they're coming through. 

So there is so many synchronicities when you bump into that person you've just been thinking about. They're, that's the way the universe just, just letting you know they're there. So when you get those, always say thank you. Always say thank you. Because it gives that, Gratitude is a very high vibration and that's the, if you want to be connecting with your guides, you need your vibration to be higher. 

And gratitude's a great way of doing it. Another great way is silliness. Get silly. They love it. Get really silly. I encourage all my clients in all the work I do, silliness, playfulness is great. And actually once you start engaging with your guides, you'll realize how daft they can be. I've had some really hilarious images and stuff being shown to people by my guides. 

They can be really silly. So keep that really open mind about all those different ways that they may. Try and communicate with you and then show gratitude for it and trust it. I always say even if that white feather Happened to be there and has nothing to do with your guides. What harm does it do in trusting it? 

It just opens the door, it opens that light, opens your heart up a little bit more for them to be able to get in. If your heart is shut down, if you've got all your walls up, you're not just keeping the human world out You're keeping the spiritual world out too. So you've got to start Letting those walls down so you can let them in.

Holly Ostara:

Mm. Yeah, you mentioned gratitude. I would love to ask you one thing that you are grateful for this week.

Geraldine Crane:

So, one thing, well, I'm very grateful. We were talking before we started, didn't we, about I have a garden room that we've just had built recently and it's absolutely beautiful. It's so peaceful, looks out into my garden and my husband's a good gardener, so we have a beautiful view and I'm really grateful for that. But. I think something I'm always really grateful for, being a person with mother wounds can often be that you get into unhealthy relationships. A lot of the women I work with have had abusive relationships because they haven't had that foundation to show them what a healthy relationship looks like. 

That chaotic or... unhealthy relationship is too familiar and they, they get into them. I'm so grateful that I managed to marry a really beautiful, beautiful sock. He's a wonderful man who has always cheered me on through all, for 10 years of our, of us first being together. He. could see all the mother's stuff going on. 

He could see how unhealthy it was and he wasn't happy about it but he never said a word. He just had my back. Until I finally realized and he then said You're right. You know, I see it. This is what I've been seeing. Please. And every time, you can crave that person that you've cut contact with and he would remind me, you know, he would keep me strong. 

But he's a wonderful father. He's a beautifully kind being with the, his moral compass is incredible. And I am very, very blessed to, despite all that stuff, have managed to marry. My soulmate who just celebrates and supports me. He doesn't even understand a lot of the spiritual stuff, but he's just like, but I trust you and he just goes with it. 

He's got my back all the way. So yeah, that's why I'm always grateful for is him.

Holly Ostara:

That's really lovely. And what a beautiful thing to be grateful for. I can hear in our conversation together. The journey that you've been on with your own mother wounds and, and how you've come up the other side and, how much light you bring to this process with everybody you speak to. 

And it's just been a really lovely conversation. So I'm really glad you came on to talk to me today. Where can our listeners find you?

Geraldine Crane:

So I'm on Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, and my website is and it has links to all those. I think if you just Google Geraldine Crane, I tend to come up. 

But Facebook. I'm just Geraldine Crane on Instagram, I'm Geraldine Crane on slash Serene, TikTok, I'm Geraldine Crane. So yeah, you'll find me, I'm there and you can always email me at hello at

Holly Ostara:

That's really lovely. Thank you so much again for coming on to talk to me today.

Geraldine Crane:

It's been an absolute pleasure. 

Thank you for having me.

Holly Ostara:

Thank you so much for listening to this episode of The Dream Season. I've got just one thing to ask of you. Please, please, please leave a review on Apple iTunes or wherever you listen to podcasts. All you need to do is select a star rating, and I hope it's five stars, but please be honest, and tap, type, or even voice to text one or two sentences about your experience listening, something you learned, or something you loved. 

This is the single most important thing you can do to help this podcast succeed. And as a thank you to anyone who needs a review today, I will send you a free audio guided visualization for each season so you can find your creativity no matter the season. Just email a screenshot of your review to and I'll send you the visualization. 

Thank you again for listening. And remember, no matter the season, remember to dream.




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