Hello and welcome to this episode of the Drink Less Live Better podcast. I'm your host Sarah Williamson. Be sure to follow me on Instagram at drinklesslivebetter and head to the website drinklesslivebetter.com where you can sign up for my 5-day Drink Less Experiment, download my free habit tracker and join my email club for regular inspiration, ideas and resources to help you live better.
Goal setting. Okay it's January and we are not talking about the colour coded planners or the New Year, New youw version of goal setting. I want to explore a better question. Do meaningful goals come from inspiration or do they come from desperation? If you look back at the biggest changes you've ever made in your life, chances are they started in one of those two places.
Desperation is the moment where something really hurts enough that you can't ignore it anymore. You feel stuck, fed up, maybe even ashamed. You are reaching a breaking point. This is often when people decide to change their relationship with alcohol, their health, their work or their boundaries. Desperation has energy, it is urgent, it says I cannot carry on like this anymore.
Inspiration on the other hand is quieter, perhaps more spacious. It comes from imagining something better. A calmer life, more self-respect, more energy in the mornings. A general better feeling. It says I want more than this and I believe it's possible. I'm worthy of something different. So desperation or inspiration? Which one is better for goal setting? Hmm, let's start with desperation.
Goals set from desperation can be incredibly powerful in the short term. When the pain of staying the same outweighs the discomfort of change, action suddenly does feel possible. Desperation will cut through procrastination, it sharpens our focus, it can create an all-or-nothing commitment that helps you finally take the next step. But desperation does have a downside. When goals are fueled by fear, shame or self-criticism they often come with big rules and unrealistic expectations. Think I must fix this now or I can't mess this up again. Right, I'm doing this differently for the rest of my life. That kind of pressure can lead to burnout, rebellion or giving up the moment things wobble.
Desperation doesn't leave a lot of room for compassion and sustainable change does need compassion. You can trust me on this one. Now let's think about inspiration. Goals set from inspiration tend to be more aligned with who you want to become not just what you want to stop doing. Inspiration perhaps invites a bit of curiosity rather than punishment. It asks questions like what would be better for me next? or what kind of life am I wanting to build? What does me version 2.0 look like? These questions often feel lighter, kinder and more flexible.
The challenge with inspiration is that it doesn't always shout, it doesn't necessarily come with urgency. When life gets busy or uncomfortable or life-y inspired goals can quietly slip down the priority list. Without the strong emotional pull it can be easy to delay or to overthink instead of act.
Most blasting change It needs a blend of both inspiration and desperation. Desperation might get you to the starting line but inspiration will be what helps you to keep going. I can't do this anymore and inspiration says this is what I'm moving towards next.
If you're setting goals right now it's worth gently asking yourself where they're coming from. Are you trying to escape discomfort or are you moving towards something nicer? If it's mostly desperation, can you soften it by adding a vision of what you want to create? And if it's mostly inspiration, can you ground it with a clear reason why now this moment matters?
For example, instead of I need to stop drinking now because I'm a mess, Desperation might sound like I'm exhausted by how alcohol is affecting my sleep and mood, inspiration might add I want mornings where I feel clear-headed and proud of myself. When goals have both honesty and hope they will be more workable. They can adapt, they can survive imperfect weeks and they won't collapse at the first setback.
So as you think about your next goal, big or small, don't ask whether you should be inspired or desperate. Ask how you can honour the discomfort that brought you here while also holding a vision that feels worth moving towards. Because change won't stick when it's driven by punishment and it doesn't start without acknowledging what hurts. The sweet spot will be somewhere in the middle. You know you don't need a rock bottom to choose better for yourself, you just need to be willing to take some different actions.
Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Drink Less Live Better podcast. If you enjoyed it please share it with someone who might need a little extra compassion today and don't forget to follow me on Instagram at drinklesslivebetter. Visit drinklesslivebetter.com livebetter.com for more tools and inspiration and check out the show notes for a link to a hidden podcast episode that will help you with your 5pm cravings and details about my one-to-one life coaching and sober coaching programs. And PS, I believe in you.
