You don’t need their ideas...you need to trust your own.

I was sitting in a doctor’s office reading an email I loved, and within seconds I was thinking, “Wait, I should be doing this too.”

I caught myself comparing, questioning my own ideas, and feeling like I was already behind. So I opened my Notes app and started coaching myself through it.

What I realized was simple: I didn’t trust myself to come up with good ideas, enough ideas, or the right ideas.

And when I looked at the evidence, I knew that wasn’t true. Some of my best work has come from following my own ideas without looking around to see what everyone else was doing.

So instead of asking, “What should I be doing because someone else is doing it?” I asked myself:

What is my next aligned action if I put my blinders on?

Work with me:

1. Lighter: finally release the weight attached to your plate www.samanthapenkoff.com/lighter
2. The Leaders Table: https://www.samanthapenkoff.com/leaders-table
3. Breakthrough Intensive: You already know you should slow down, delegate more, stop overcommitting & be emotionally present. So why can't you? That's what we figure out in 90 minutes + integration call 1 week later. Book your Breakthrough
4. Exhale Private Coaching: For women ready to do this work until it sticks and you can't revert back. 3 open spots: Work with me

Connect with Sam: Instagram | Facebook

Welcome to Beyond Awareness. Something happened a couple months ago where I was sitting in a doctor's office and I was in between where the the first person that comes in to take your vitals, she left the room and I was waiting for my doctor. And it was taking a while. And so I opened up my email and started reading an email that honestly was so good. I was so inspired. I was like, whoa. And then it hit me like, wait.

This is a lot of what I teach. I could write this email. And then I kind of got in my head and it felt so frustrating because I was like, now this is like one more thing I have to do. How can I spin this so that it's like in my voice? What is my perspective of this? Because we do do slightly different things. And I honestly was feeling that frustration and it hit me like a ton of bricks of like, Sam, this is a pattern.

You tend to get quote unquote inspired. You tend to see things from other people and immediately think that you should copy them. What is that? What is that about? And so, and I think that a lot of people feel that emotion. They feel that resistance or maybe that same frustration. And then they're just like, ugh, I should stop doing that. And then they move on with their day.

I think truly the fact that I was sitting in the doctor's office, I was could not do anything else was the perfect situation for me to tap into this. Also, the fact that I enjoyed doing this type of work as a clarity coach, I wanted clarity on this. And so I thought, until the doctor comes in, I'm gonna tap into this. And so I opened up the notes app on my phone and I guided myself just through some questions.

So that I could understand where this was coming from, because I didn't want to feel that way anymore. I just wanted to feel better. And so in this episode, I'm going to walk you through the exact questions that I asked myself. And you'll get to see this kind of arc of how I navigated this emotion and this situation, and how I felt really good by the end and have an action by the end. Something that I've always been passionate about.

Even though my work is very heavy on the emotions, is ending with action, having something tangible to do. So we're not just feeling good, we're feeling good while doing something about it. So you'll get to see what that action is and have a prompt for yourself too. So first, it's all about awareness. So I just brain-dumped on the actual pattern that I noticed and I jot it down.

When I see someone else doing something that I perceive to be quote unquote good or inspiring, or I don't know, like I like I thought that that one email was really effective, I immediately one, think that I should copy or do it and put my own spin on it. Two judge myself for not being able to do it as well as her. When I read that email, after I was like, ooh, I should do this, I was like,

But it won't be as good as hers. Like she just said it so eloquently and so efficiently, like in such great words, not like babbling on and on. And I don't take into account how long it likely took her to perfect her own email or content, or if I see another offer that I really like from somebody else, I never take into account the fact that she likely took weeks or months.

Progr like outlining that program. I just assume that she whipped it up out of nowhere and it flowed out of her brain. And that I should be able to know this like the back of my hand because it's what I do and teach. I don't allow myself the grace to to slow down and think about it. And I feel I judge myself for that. And then the third thing is I feel late to the game and I quit before I even start. What I mean by that is

When I think about writing my own version of this email, let's say, or whatever the task is, right? Starting my own offer or whatever, I think that it'll take me so long to come up with my own idea or my own spin on it that it'll no longer be a trend on Instagram, right? Or it'll no longer be relevant, or I'll just lose the passion that I felt in the first place.

So I might as well stop. And honestly, that's a lot of why I don't post on Instagram is because as soon as I see a trend, or when I was on Instagram and I would see trends and I'd be so motivated, be like, ooh, that seems simple enough. I could do that. But then the time that it takes me to actually record the video, put the text on it, and then think of a caption, I'd be so like discouraged that I would stop. I wasn't passionate about it anymore. I was overthinking the text.

Or I would think, this is such an annoying trend. People are gonna be annoyed by this or whatever. And so after I just brain-dumped all of those thoughts, I asked myself, why can someone else's great email or great content or great offer or great life just be hers? Why do I feel the need to create my own version?

When I asked that and truly paused to think, I remembered and realized that I grew up with my parents seeing outside things, like the outside world, outside ideas, and then saying things like, that's a great business idea. They saw everything as inspiration. And I still see that to this day. I feel like I even say things like that to my son.

But, and and I think that's a great thing. And it also feels like performance. I don't know if you feel that, but the initial hit is inspiration, immediately followed by performance, like then the doing of it, and then judgment, like self-judgment, and then shame of why can't I do it like them or why can't I do it faster, or whatever it might be, and then lack.

And then I asked myself, what is the fear beneath not copying? Beneath letting her success be hers? Letting her great email idea just be hers. Like what would happen if I don't copy? And I wrote down, or typed out, if I don't copy, I'll miss out.

I was so surprised by that. I was not expecting that. And then I typed out, miss out on what? Cause I was shocked. And I was like, wait, Sam, pause, hold the phone. What are you missing out on by not copying someone? And two things came up for me. I felt like it's a free idea that I don't have to think about for a newsletter, at least in relation to this email example that we're going with. Right. So it's a free idea.

It was a good idea, I can relate to it, I have a perspective on it. But right after writing that down, I wrote down, but it wasn't mine. Yes, it's my zone of genius. But since I didn't come up with it, that's why it takes so much more energy to adapt my brain to crafting it. Versus if I had the d idea in my own words, then I could easily just like.

whip up a post or whip up, you know, this this podcast episode or this outlet. Like it was so easy for me to prompt myself through this coaching because it was my idea, my thought, and I'm a genius at this. Right. So like instead of the six things you need to understand to become your future self, like whatever, if that's I feel like that's a headline of something.

Then I'd be like, all right, I'd have to sit down at my desk and be like, all right, what are the six things? Okay. One thing could be you need to see yourself as your future self. And then I'll need to expand on that. Number two, it could be, right? It would just take me, I know it, but it would take me much longer than if it was my own idea. But the other thing I I thought that I would miss out on was what if that.

Is the email or podcast episode, or that is the content that gets her a client. I'd be missing out on also getting a client. But this came afterwards, immediately it popped in my head. If it's not my idea, my voice, in mine, I will be forcing myself to think of this from a place of judgment and comparison.

And it that comes through, that shines brightly, unfortunately, through even in content. And especially if I'm trying to then turn it into an Instagram story or like where you can see a video of it. And when anything is created from that lack, abundant or not abundance, lack or scarcity, I won't get a client from that, right?

I'll be producing that content with desperate energy of like, please, please, please. I think that that person got a client from it. I hope that I get a client from it. No, we don't, we don't need any of that energy. So I asked myself, so what's missing? Because yes, I was afraid I was gonna miss out on those two things, but very quickly afterwards, I was like, but no, it wasn't my idea, so it's not mine to create. So then what is missing?

And I wrote down, it's that I don't trust myself to come up with good ideas or enough ideas or the right ideas that will convert or that my audience needs to hear, or in the right time. Something that I really felt, I remember when typing this out in my phone was that I pictured myself at my desk working, thinking, okay, I should post something, but I don't know what.

And I remember imagining myself like hemming and hawing and thinking, if only I could use that one idea. I didn't trust myself that in the time that I wanted to create a post, I would have an idea, that it would be last minute if I didn't copy their idea and plan ahead. So one of my favorite questions of all time is, is that true?

Because that I just uncovered the root belief, the fear, right? It's that I don't trust myself to come up with all those things and and in that way and the reasoning why. So I said, is it true? Is there proof that I have not used someone else's idea, that I haven't copied somebody else's idea, even if it was ins inspiration, and I missed signing a client, right? So I'm trying to connect the dots here. And for that, I put, I don't know.

I don't know where my missed clients came from or what inspired it. So I moved on. I said, is there proof that I've used my own ideas and signed clients? And I wrote, yes, in all caps lock, lots. I wrote, is there or ask myself, is there proof that I've planned my own content and it landed successfully? I wrote, yes, my most successful launch was the leaders table.

Which was 100% led by passion, not strategy, or looking to the side at what other people were posting, especially because nobody was creating what I was. And just reflecting back, that's so true. And to add on to it, I wasn't even posting from a strategy. I only posted when wanted to, when I felt.

A nudge of like, I really want to talk about this today. Or we had a dinner last night and this came up, and I want to share that. I was never in the position where I feared I would be, like sitting at that desk thinking, ooh, I quote unquote should be posting today. And I don't have an idea. If I ever felt that, I just didn't post. Imagine that. And it was my most successful launch. So

Really leaning into that proof of that whole situation was healing for this whole process. My next question that I asked myself was: what do I need to do in order to be able to read someone else's great email in my zone of genius or listen to a phenomenal podcast episode related to my work and just clap for her?

Not compare and not be tempted to create.

I jot it down that I would need to trust myself and my systems, my plan or my schedule, my ideas and my offers. I would need to trust that all of that is enough, even if someone copies them. When someone copies you,

Or, you know, it does a variation on your post or your offer or whatever, then all of this can come up again. And you can think, no, I need to do another post, I need to do another email, another event or whatever. But trusting that yours is enough, that mine is enough. And it's attracting from that energy. That is the work. When people say do the work,

You need to figure out what your work is, and this is the type of work. And how is I'm gonna say move improve because it's easy to remember. I love it. I interviewed a guest named Maddie. That was her terminology. Move and prove. I used to call it take action and find proof. And we did the proof above, but it's it's a continuous thing, right? So the next the next and final question is: what is the next best action that I can take today?

Which, you know, I might actually for a completely different reason, but it's just comical because it's like I was inspired from from one email and not in inspired and then, you know, the whole shame, judgment, doubt, all the all the things. But I need to not write an email from that place, but ask myself what actually what type of action will actually move my needle forward that aligns with my marketing plan.

my relationships, my goals, my offers, and ultimately myself. And so that's what I'm going to pass back to you as your prompt for today. What is your next aligned action if you put your blinders on? Don't even allow yourself to be inspired by others for 15 seconds. Tune inward. Take a deep breath. What is it?

That you can do and want to do. I would love to hear your action item. So head on over to Instagram if you want and send me a message at Samantha.s.says. I'd love to also hold you accountable to doing that. But I'm so proud of you for listening because this was a really important one to allowing yourself, yes, to still follow other people and to.

Still be allow yourself to be inspired, but removing any sort of performance and any of the yucky feelings that comes with attaching any sort of copying behavior, stealing behavior to it. And this is exactly how I coached myself to not only understand my root belief beneath it, right? The whole trust thing, how I didn't trust myself, to then

feels so much better, feels so much clarity with an action item attached to it. So I hope you found this helpful and I will see you next week.