Shownotes
Do you keep pushing through exhaustion, telling yourself "just one more thing"—while your body whispers (or screams) that something’s not right?
In a culture that praises overworking and punishes rest, it's no wonder burnout and chronic pain are at an all-time high—especially for those in helping roles, entrepreneurship, and service-based work.
Listen to the end to:
- Understand the real reason your body is breaking down—even if your career lights you up
- Learn how chronic stress and nervous system dysregulation show up as physical pain, anxiety, or fatigue
- Discover one simple, science-backed shift you can make today to begin regulating your system and reclaiming your energy
About Grace:
Grace is a Holistic Licensed Professional Counselor, Certified Yoga Therapist and Certified Nervous System Specialist with a focus on mind-body health.
IG: @heal.with.grace
Podcast: Heal with Grace
My Bestselling Book - Somatic Intelligence for Success
Nervous system alignment to prevent burnout and leave an impact.
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This podcast explores the intersection of sales, money, and business success, offering entrepreneurial insights on overcoming the inner critic, burnout, and the unique challenges of ADHD and autoimmune conditions, while integrating polyvagal theory, Ayurveda, coaching, resilience, regulation, and trauma healing to support holistic growth and thriving in both life and business.
Transcripts
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Do you push through to just finish that last thing while your body is whispering or screaming that you need to pull yourself away from the computer. Take a few deep breaths. 📍
In today's episode. I'm speaking with Grace, who is a therapist for individuals living with chronic pain, and we're. Unpack the reason that your body can scream at you through insomnia or anxiety, self-doubt, headaches, even if you love your work, as well as how chronic stress and nervous system dysregulation, sharp is pain, anxiety, fatigue.
And then one simple science back shift that you can make today to begin regulating your system and reclaiming your energy.
what are you referring to when you're talking about how your body speaks to you? So a great example that I like to give is that, um. This is what I actually used to give early on in my therapy career before people came to me for chronic symptoms where I would talk about the mind body connection and that a lot of times people recognize anxiety as a lot of thinking, right?
Like lots of ruminating thoughts or fears or not really sure what's going on and you just like can't get that thought out of your head. But actually anxiety speaks. To you from the body first by way of maybe there's like tight chest or short breath, or maybe you have like an uncomfortable stomach. Maybe you get a little antsy or some people get really nauseous and those are signals.
That's what I mean when the body speaks to you. 'cause they're sending you signals of distress and actually your body usually starts those before the mind. We're just not really aware. So I help people get, become aware that your body's speaking to you first before the mind does.
Why do you think so many of us ignore it? There's a few reasons. One, we were never taught to listen to our bodies. I mean, I don't know about you, but I definitely never was, and there's been a lot of culture around. We have psychology, the mind, and then we have like physical illness or, you know, you go to the doctor for your physical body, but it was never talked about.
But that, those are all one. And so it's really easy to ignore because we're told well just, you know, go take something for that and it'll, mm-hmm you'll get over it. Or maybe you won't, but let's just kind of ignore that and move on because we don't actually want to, society doesn't really want us to slow down.
And listen and pay attention and actually help ourselves. I mean, there's so many different ways I could go in with that, but yeah, it's, it's also scary too, right? When you look at the signals that your body is sending you, sometimes that comes with pain or sadness or grief or things that we don't really know how to look at.
'cause again, we were never really taught that emotional awareness. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I think a lot about the industrial revolution and people who were in any type of slave environment. I would include, I'm in Australia at the moment and I think about the way that our convicts lived and it was not that you can compare, but I can just see all of these different.
Moments in time where listening to your body and being like, oh, my body is telling me that I need to stop right now. It's like, that's actually just not an option because if you, if you stop doing what you're doing, you'll be severely punished by somebody or you won't have any food and then you'll die.
So in my mind it's such a privilege that we able, that we get to have this conversation and also it just makes so much sense that, . Our mind, our body, and our genes haven't fortified that pattern of, oh, what is my body saying? What they fortified is okay, how can I just keep going? Hm. Yeah. Yeah.
Because we're also praised to keep going, especially in business, right? I mean, it's so, I know this deeply too. Like it's so hard to not keep doing. 'cause it feels like if you don't, everything's gonna implode or you're not gonna make more progress or you're gonna fail, right? So there's this notion that if you keep going, if you keep forcing it, you will succeed in a way.
That's what a lot of society and culture tells us. So it's really scary to not feels like it could feel life threatening, to not keep going 100%, especially when we get all tangled up with, money and what that means for our life. Yeah. Really, really big thing in business. I think that's one of the things I speak with a lot.
They're like, if all if I slow down or if I kind of lose this momentum that I've got, then. I'll lose everything. What do you find helpful when you are working with somebody in that space? So sometimes it gets to the place of, okay. Even if that is really scary. Understandably So. Does it feel sustainable to keep going like this?
Because usually, at least when people come to me, they're. Sometimes desperate. Sometimes they're like, I, my body is literally breaking down. I feel like absolute crap, or I have some illness or something going on. And so it's forcing them like, I mean, it is a, for like doing this type of mind, body, chronic illness and pain work.
Um. It's a spiritual practice, but it's like a forces spiritual practice. Like you can't nod, you just, you, you have to look at it, have to look at yourself, your life. And so there's a, there's a way of, there's a way in if you're open to it. And so a lot of times it's okay, yes, you can keep going like this.
And also. Something's obviously telling you that's not working because you're burnout, you're miserable, your body's not well, right? So, sometimes there kind of comes that breaking point of like, okay, well let's look at something different. And it doesn't mean you need to change it overnight. Like, okay, totally take off the gas pedal and forget everything, right?
Change everything. 'cause sometimes that's too overwhelming. So it's how can we meet ourselves where we are and learn tools to help increasingly get out of that burnout space. Hundred percent. And I'm a really big fan of not changing everything all at once because your body likes stability and it likes consistency and we don't wanna freak it out the other way, which I see sometimes happens.
I'm curious for you, when you're working with a client there, I've noticed, at least for me, that there's usually a turning point where maybe it happens a few times where they start to realize, or we start to realize all of these things that my body is doing is trying to protect me from something.
Where you're nodding. So I'm assuming that you are also, you notice that turning point. Mm-hmm. Where, what do you think that, when does that turning point usually happen? What's happening for somebody when they have that like full body experience? Not just in your mind, but like, ah, this is how it supports me.
There's a combination between, well, first I wanna say I truly believe everyone has their own timeline and we can't always explain that. I can't exactly explain why this person is ready for the work before someone else, or for that moment. Right. And then also there is some recipe, if you will, to that.
Meaning one could be that. There is this openness and curiosity of, okay, what could look different? 'cause there does have to be some willingness to look at something different and take that risk to change what you're, what we're doing, change that force, change that push. And so sometimes there is a force of like, okay, what could be different?
How can I open up and to look at something in a different way? And then when that aha moment comes. There's also a resonance of, oh, I felt that shift in my body. Even if it's for a split second, even if there's some, there's some progress with, you feel a shift in your symptoms of your body of that burnout, symptoms of burnout, symptoms of illness, whatever you're dealing with, you feel even just a little bit of like, exhale.
Yeah, even just that drop in your body, when you can experience that, it gives you the confidence that you can keep experiencing it. So then there's that. Oh, okay. Maybe it's a drop in that I, I get it. Even if it's for, even for just a minute, you know? Yeah. As you're speaking, there's one thing that I'm thinking of. Which is cognitive dissonance and I, I've, I'm back at like school and so I'm doing my masters at the moment in psychology, and so we're learning about cognitive dissonance, which is incredibly warring for me except for this one thing that I found, which was this really wonderful study that show that was suggesting that unless there's some sort of discomfort and activation, you never actually.
Switch, and I've seen this to be true working in coaching, it's like pe you and I will see and we'll be like, babe, that is not good. Like you, that is long term. That is not good for you. You are going to, you're hurting yourself. You don't realize it. But there isn't enough motivation inside of the body to pursue something else that is uncomfortable or enter into that space of openness.
Because there's not enough, there's not enough discomfort. It's that same thing of like the nervous system will always choose a familiar discomfort over an unfamiliar. Comfort. And I think that's also the power of just focusing on regulation because regulation naturally pulls you into that open space.
And the more that I heal, gosh, I've noticed this with myself over the past couple of like year, the more that I heal the, I'm just like, Ooh, what if there's another way of looking at the world that I hadn't considered? And how great could it be? So it's like this combination of regulation, but also real deep discomfort.
That actually creates change. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. It's the, it's the cliche of sometimes you gotta hit that. It doesn't always have to be rock bottom, but sometimes, right. To make some sort of move to make, to have some kind of discomfort for us to be like, okay, I want to change this. Something has to shift here.
And also to your point, we also need some sort of like, support system, regulation system to be able to help us make that shift and change. So yes, totally. There's definitely both. Totally. 100%. Okay. So on that note,
what is one belief about burnout or chronic symptoms, chronic pain that you wish more people could adopt? Especially people who adopt or unlearn even? Especially people who are in the business or helping or doing or taking on a lot of responsibility roles. Hmm. So.
When you're burning out and you know that from anywhere from, you don't wanna do what you're doing anymore or hard to get outta bed, or your body is talking to you in terms of pain or symptoms or illness, and maybe you actually haven't connected the dot that your body's breaking down, meaning it's trying to tell you something's not aligned.
What you're doing is not right for you right now. Or maybe it's the way that you're doing it, so. I speak to this from my own experience, that even though I love what I do, there's been many times where I've burned burnout because it's the how of how I do it. And sometimes I think that we get that mixed up because there's been so many times where I'm like, I.
Should I just not be a therapist anymore? Should I just not be doing this? 'cause I'm exhausted, I don't wanna do it. But then there's another part of me that's like, but I do love what I'm doing and it's been very confusing. So I think there's a difference of the way that we do it, the way that everyone else around you is doing it, that you think is successful, successful doesn't always mean that's gonna work for you.
And so I think it's really important to look at like when your body is talking to you. It doesn't always mean that like you need to change everything in your life 'cause everything is wrong. It's that some way, shape or form you're dismissing actually the fact that maybe you are worthy of what you're doing or you're not.
I feel like you're not good enough. There's a lot of those belief systems underneath it. So I feel like I'm going a little bit in another tangent here, but at the end of the day, when your body is talking to you, sometimes it might take a while to understand what it's saying. But there's something that you're dismissing about yourself.
There's some way, shape, or form that you're running your life or in some sort of relationship that you think might be good for you because maybe someone else is doing the same thing, but that doesn't always mean it's right for you. Yeah. Yes. The biggest yes, in the entire world. Sometimes the questions that I have with coaching clients is literally just.
Where are you lying to yourself? Like, what do you actually know that you are so resistant to admitting? And this is pillar two of the book, right? This is trauma healing. This is getting back in contact with like, what is true for me. I hate this though because I feel like you and I know what we're talking about, but it also feels a little bit, conceptual.
Do you have an example of this maybe in your own life? Yeah, I definitely do. I spoke a tiny bit to it, so I'll open that up. So, there have been multiple times where, I mean, truly I've been burnout and I was like, maybe this just isn't the career for me. Mm-hmm. Maybe I'm not meant to just to help people, but time and time again, when I really look at all the pieces of what I'm doing and why I am doing what I'm doing, it's not actually.
Me being a therapist or a nervous system coach or teaching, because when I'm in that work, when I'm with a client, when I'm coaching my groups. When I'm on my podcast, I love it. I'm engaged, I'm present. But there's been many times where it's all the pieces of owning a business or showing up or marketing in the way that I should be.
Marketing should be showing up in this way to own a business that is really wearing me out. And I think that I should be working all these hours a day to make it all happen. And that's just not how my body operates and I'm still figuring it out, but. It takes checking in every, like in every little area of how I operate a business and how I am a service provider of checking in every time I'm doing something.
Okay. Is this, is this working? Does this feel good? Mm-hmm. Does that feel good? Mm-hmm. And there's pieces that I like. What you just said. Many worries. I'm lying to myself of what I think I should be doing that I really don't wanna do. Mm-hmm. And sure there's some pieces that like, we're not always gonna love that we do.
But I think there are way too many of them for me for a while. And that I could be doing something different. I just didn't wanna see it. 'cause I wanted to be like everyone else. Hmm. Interesting. Isn't it? And so much of it comes back to like the shoulds. Yep. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah.
I think for a lot of us in this profession, there's a study on it, like majority of what actually creates burnout in individuals who are healers and helpers is. Marketing, sales and admin. And I always, I always come back to that. It's like, if I actually wanted to be in a marketing job, then I would've pursued marketing.
Yes. And so we have to be very creative and resilient to find the correct way to do it. Right. Yeah. Yeah. So what are, what are some practical things that we can send our listeners off? What are the, like, one thing that they need to know is they begin this journey that is incredibly practical that they can implement today.
One of the most important things, and also sometimes the scariest thing, at least in my experience, is time and space. You can't change something from a dysregulated state. You can't make a change from that state 'cause it's just gonna be another dysregulated change. So in order to to make or to help yourself feel a little bit more regulated time and space, whether that's literally time, like five or 10 minutes in between, I don't know, meetings, sessions, whatever, to slow down and tune in.
You don't even have to figuring anything out. But my favorite thing, and I post it all the time actually, is I literally just lay on my ground. I just lay on the ground. Yeah. For five minutes in between a session. And sometimes I skip that 'cause I'm like, I don't have time for that. But when I do it, it makes all the difference.
And so when I can slow down and take that time and space, one, I'm more creative. Two, I can actually think of things that might help me and my business better than what I think I should be doing and pushing so hard. And then also just obviously helps me as a person and as a therapist, as a coach, to show up in a different way.
But there's been so many times where that's so scary to take that time and space. 'cause they're like, no, I just have to keep, keep going through this. Or just, you know, more, I don't know, whatever post more, do this more market more, because it's really scary to slow down. And so at the same time, it's so powerful to do that.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, and it's such a, it's such a dysregulated thought, isn't it? I don't have time and space. It's like I'm literally, I'm not asking for more than 90 seconds. Like if we all just breathe for 90 seconds instead of like sending that one email, like you can come back to the email, that thought, whatever.
I have that, that thought. I don't have enough time and I don't have enough space. I'm always incredibly surprised because as soon as I do take the time and space to regulate. I'm like, I had this yesterday. I woke up because I slept in and I was like, oh my God, I don't have enough time. And I was like, okay, cool.
Let's just like, I'm gonna go to the gym. I saw my coach and then I was like, wow, I have actually all of this time and I did all of my, and now I have all of this free time. This is crazy. And it's just never true, is it? It doesn't, it's so, it feels true, but it's never true. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Cool. Well, thank you so much.
How can everyone find you and how do we know if we're the right person to work with you and how would we learn more? Yeah, so you can find me over, either my website or Instagram. My Instagram is Heal With Grace and my website is elevate therapy wellness.com. My podcast also is Heal With Grace and I'm there weekly.
That's where a lot of people get to know exactly what I do, and I specifically work with people to not only just manage, but truly heal and treat. Things like chronic pain and illness, which comes in forms of fatigue. I see gut issues, migraines, neck, back, hip pain, all those types of things that are chronic and you don't really know what to do with.
And so I help you address your nervous system, come from a psychological trauma approach and somatic healing, and I talk all about it there. It's really just my passion to teach people that there's you, you can help, you can, you can heal, you can really, truly treat your body and not just have to live this way forever.