I need to go on the record.

The Wet Bandits are NOT the villains in Home Alone.

This episode is a full rewatch reckoning. The kind that hits you sideways once you’re an adult and can’t unsee what’s actually happening on screen.

And we’re meant to call it festive.

This is not a cosy nostalgia episode.

It’s time to get a little uncomfortable and understand what's really going on with this movie and why I think it's more of a horror movie than a Christmas film.

Merry Christmas, you filthy animals.