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Healing Together: The Power of Vulnerability in Love and Business with Diana & Jon Benitez | EP103
Episode 1035th November 2024 • FULFILLMENT IN FAITH • Shannan Kym
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In this episode I’m thrilled to welcome fellow Canadians Diana and Jon Benitez, lovingly known as “Dijon.” Diana and Jon have an inspiring story of partnership in life and business, beginning with their venture into real estate investing in 2019. They share openly about the challenges they faced while building a business together, from navigating frequent conflicts to dealing with patterns of avoidance that impacted their connection. We dive deep into the realities of working with a spouse and how they realized that true growth in both their relationship and business required facing these issues head-on.

Their journey of healing and personal growth has been transformative—not only for their relationship but also in how they parent and support each other’s growth. From therapy sessions that offered new perspectives to Jon’s experiences with self-discovery at retreats, Diana and Jon share powerful insights on vulnerability, trust, and communication. They offer advice for couples looking to grow together and emphasize the importance of doing the inner work as a team. We wrap up with their vision of helping other couples on similar paths and building a community where partners can thrive together. Whether you’re navigating challenges in business, relationships, or personal growth, this episode is packed with insights and encouragement.

About Diana and Jon Benitez: Relationship Coaches and Transformational Leaders

After 27 years together, Diana and Jon Benitez, affectionately known together as DIJON, embarked on an incredible journey of transformation that not only saved their relationship but also inspired them to help other couples navigate their own challenges. In 2019, seeking to build generational wealth for their family, they ventured into real estate investing together. Unfortunately, working together building homes only revealed deeper cracks in their relationship.

For years, Diana and Jon had mastered the art of avoiding their issues, believing that time alone could make things better. But as they faced repeated struggles, they felt stuck and unhappy—desperate for change. Determined to save their marriage, they took a courageous step back to examine their individual pasts to understand how it shaped who they were. Through self-awareness, understanding and open communication, they began to prioritize their own needs while learning how to work together effectively. They discovered a renewed sense of joy, intimacy, and fulfillment in their relationship that they had thought was lost. Their transformation was profound and life-changing, and it didn’t take long for them to feel a calling to share their wisdom to help other couples.

As relationship coaches, Diana and Jon, or DIJON, are dedicated to helping couples break free from unhealthy patterns, embrace vulnerability, and build stronger connections. They guide couples through their unique journeys toward deeper understanding and lasting happiness. Their mission is simple: to empower couples to overcome their challenges and rediscover the love and joy that brought them together in the first place. Diana and Jon Benitez are committed to making a positive impact on marriages everywhere built on a strong foundation of togetherness.

https://linktr.ee/DiJonBenitez


CONNECT WITH SHANNAN MONDOR:

Website: shannankym.com

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fulfillment-in-faith/id1653165886

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Book: https://www.amazon.ca/How-Hell-Did-Get-Here/dp/0228871220

Email: shannan@shannankym.com

When you have faith in yourself you will have fulfilment in all areas of your life!

See you next week and blessing to all!!! 

Transcripts

Shannan Kym:

Hello everybody. My name is Shannon Mondor, and welcome to my podcast, fulfillment in faith. Today. I've got a very, very, very special not just one guest, but I've got two guests on here, and they are fellow Canadians from Ontario. And I'm so excited. And the reason I'm so excited is because number one, this is my first couple. Number two, they are Canadian. But number three, are there talking about relationships? And I think this is so extremely important. So I want to welcome Diana and Jon. Oh, how do you say the last name, Benitez? Can I say that right? And, you know, honestly say I screw up almost every single name. I'm not going to say every name.

Diana Benitez:

Or, you know what, people just call us. Dijon, Diana, Jon,

Shannan Kym:

okay, you know what? I like that better. So, you know what? I love that? I love that. Um, it's so funny, because I struggle with names all the time. And you know what? That's part of who I am. Like, I can literally be at a function or whatever, right? And someone will say, Hi, my name is Sally. And I'll be like, Hi, my name is Shannon. And then literally, three seconds later, I'll be looking at her, and I'll be like, Oh, God, what the hell was her name? So to do name association in that too, right? So, yeah,

Jon Benitez:

I'm the same.

Shannan Kym:

I know you know what. That's who I am. I'm sorry, but you know what, so I'm just going to call you Diana and Jon Dijon. That sounds great. Okay, so what I would like both of you to do, number one, I want to say thank you for coming to my podcast. I'm so excited about this. Thank you. So if you guys just want to go in and, like, share with the audience a little bit about yourself, where you're from, and then if you just want to go into your story, because I can't, I'm so, I'm so excited. So you guys, can you guys go to the floor?

Jon Benitez:

Thank you. Okay, you

Diana Benitez:

start maybe, why we're Dijon,

Jon Benitez:

yeah, well, Dijon, we got the name because of our friends. We call as Dijon because we love to host parties, and we still do. We love hosting people. My name is Jon, and I've been an entrepreneur since I was 16, and now fast forward. Now I have a business with my wife. We're business partners, and we have a real estate investing company together, and we now we have thrive, which is where we coach COVID.

Diana Benitez:

And Dijon started because I'm D, everyone calls me D. He's Jon, together with Dijon, as he said, it was just easier. We've been together forever. We're high school sweethearts. We met at the age of 13 and 1519, 9696 and we've been together forever. It was in 2019 we have two boys, two young boys, eight and 11. And it was in 2019 you know, we just, we just wanted more for ourselves, trying to think of another way to grow wealth, build generational wealth for our family. And we started in learning and investing ourselves on real estate investing. And it was the first time where, after how many years together, where we had to now start working together, doing real estate investing, we bought properties or rental properties, and yeah, we had to start working together. Treat it like a business. And I guess it was at that point actually having to work together. Did we come and face our challenges that we really have had our whole relationship? Yeah, but through our whole relationship, what 20 to five years was always just the same pattern of routine, you know, again, took bites. We would have the same triggers, and the easiest thing to do was for Jon would be to

Jon Benitez:

sleeping under the rug and walk away, avoid sweeping under

Diana Benitez:

the rug, kiss and make up. And I guess it was fine. But what you don't realize is you never really kind of get to the root cause. And when you never get to the root cause, it really does impact the connection. So 2019, we started working together, and the fights started to come on much more frequently, where our kids were noticing we couldn't have business meetings because we would just always butt heads.

Jon Benitez:

And I would doubt that, which is not good for the business. No,

Diana Benitez:

not good for projects.

Jon Benitez:

Yeah, we would, we wouldn't grow and we'd always be like, two steps behind, because when we actually planned our meetings, it would take not even two minutes. It would just be fireworks, and we just be fighting, and then, and then one of us, mostly me, would just walk away. So that's how it. That's where, you know, that's where it began. And then we were just like, hey, how do we fix this? How do we, you know, have a meeting together. Have a business meeting together where we can't actually sit down and we can actually discuss about our business.

Shannan Kym:

And I had a question, what? What was that moment that that you guys started to question yourself about that, because that's really important.

Diana Benitez:

It was, it was actually by sort of accident, because we just love, as Jon said, we love bringing people together. We would host a lot of meetups at our house, and we're very growth minded people, and we actually wanted to host a couple's retreat. And we said, you know, and it's okay if we're gonna do a couples or treat, let's Why don't we go to therapy? And, yeah, you know, check it out. And it was that first session where, you know, and Jon, we've always had the same fight. He's always said the same thing, but I guess you tune each other out, or you build resentment that you don't truly listen. Yeah. And it was when he was explaining, sort of the issues with me towards him, when he said it to the third party, it's like I was hearing it from a different perspective. Did it at first, like kind of sinking. And I remember after that session, I was really quiet. I just like, I didn't know what to say. And he, he was like, Are you mad at me now? Like, what's wrong? I said, I said, I don't know. I just don't know what to say. And that was the first step. That was the first step. And then the The journey began where I just for me, it was, I actually did 75 hard. It was a challenge. For 75 days you have to do quite you know, these things every single day. If you didn't, you had to kind of start back again. It was two workouts a day, drink a gallon of water, read a self development book, no alcohol, stick to a diet like it was. It was hard, but sometimes it's too hard. Things were really the best to come out of you, and by doing that, it was the first time in my life. Did I finally put myself first. I just read the books that I needed to read that I you know, that been sitting on my shelf for two years. I was a book collector, but never read them. So I started to read those books, and it was just the perfect timing, because it would talk about, you know, limiting beliefs and, you know, understanding your past. And I started to pay attention to myself within going to the gym, started to think about my thoughts, going for walks, just giving the space for myself.

Shannan Kym:

I got a question for you, did you feel guilt at all for you finally putting yourself first?

Diana Benitez:

There were, you know what they were, I would say no, because Jon has always been such a supportive husband, like he will if I need to do something for myself, he'll let me do it. It's like he's the one that puts the kids to bed. He'll, he'll make lunch to give me time. I just didn't know what I needed. The reason,

Shannan Kym:

the reason I asked that question is because when I started to put me first, it was the most joyous time in my life, because I was like, wow, I have been doing everything for everybody else, and I know that I'm worthy. Now. It took me a lot to get to that point, and so there, there was no guilt, there was moments of just absolute, pure joy. But I there's going to be listeners on here that understand that being first and take taking care of yourself is all a part of of self care. And don't feel guilty like Do not I know, do not feel guilty because you deserve this. Yes,

Diana Benitez:

and I by putting myself first, I start to pay attention to the things that would trigger me. Or why would I Why would I yell? And I was quick to yell at my kids, you know. And and I became a better, you know, better person, wife, better parent, better better leader. And so it started there with me, now with Jon, there was we had different journeys. When it became a parent. Was remember that? Let's talk about that day at the at the table. Yeah, we were at the kitchen table.

Jon Benitez:

I knew I was spiraling down into a hole. I felt that I had no value in our company. I just said straight up, you know, you can do this on your own. You don't need me. And then it just started getting worse from there.

Diana Benitez:

And I think again, because of my awareness, I started to listen differently. And I'm just like, what are you what are you talking about? They can't do this without you. You. And it was like, how he, you know, me realizing, like he has no value, he doesn't see the value he brings, like I knew there was something so much deeper. And again, investing in ourselves. We were part of a mastermind, and we got exposed to a man named Mike Zeller, and he had done a meta visualization, going back to your past self, releasing it, hugging it, you know, and then your future self, taking the wheel and taking forward. And I saw myself through it all, you know, I went to my little past self and said it was okay, and we all did it as a group. And it's funny, a lot of the women connected, and there's tears, but a lot of the men in the room nothing. You know Jon was

Shannan Kym:

like, I was going to say, Jon, that you know you sitting at the dinner table and you know you're at one of the lowest times in your life. I'm so proud of you because vulnerability from a man. You don't see it often, because in society, we're told no, don't Yeah, yeah, and yeah, so good for you. Like, good for you, yeah, I

Diana Benitez:

know. And I resonated with Mike and the fact that he did it like it was like nothing, but I pushed it my Jon, you gotta meet Mike. You can you just do something one on one with Him? Because it was a group setting. And Mike had was hosting a retreat, three day retreat, where there was going to be a heart a heart ceremony. And I don't know if you want to share your experience, I think,

Jon Benitez:

well, yeah, there we were both. We were both planning to go, but then we were, she made a great decision, saying, Jon, I think you should go by yourself. And it was, yeah, it was one of the it was a great, it was a good decision. You know, it was like, it was a rewired retreat. It was a weekend, and from that point on, well, the experience was amazing. It opened me up the first time, for the first time, and it took took, like 40 plus years. It was just so big.

Shannan Kym:

At least it only took you 40. It took me 5010, years, aren't you? So you doing great?

Jon Benitez:

So I just, yeah, I just, all of a sudden, I got hit. I got hit with the bricks that I've been carrying my whole life. It was the three major ones. And, you know, my loneliness, I was suicidal as well, and it just going back to it and recognizing it. It opened me up, like, extremely and I was like, holy smokes. It hit me so hard, and then I was just like, okay, you know, and then I just started surrendering, and I found courage, and, you know, I called up Dee, and I was okay, like, I'm ready. I'm ready. And she's like, ready for what I'm ready to tell you, everything, like, everything. So it was

Diana Benitez:

after 27 years together, and he came home from that retreat, and we just, like, laid in bed. He was just holding me, and it's like, really telling me everything. Were you shocked? Were you shocked? Um, but you know what it was. He told me little glimpses throughout a relationship, but I don't know. I don't know if it was me and our age, but it didn't seem like he said it so lightly that I don't know if it didn't, I don't know why it just didn't Yeah, but it didn't elaborate on it never elaborated, yes, that's maybe, that's what it was, yeah. And so when I heard like, when he went to tell me, really everything, and from childhood. It was that, that understanding of him. I then knew my role as a wife, as a woman, to protect him. I didn't understood the things that I was doing, which then I also knew why I was doing what I was doing, because it went from the past as well, and when he was able to understand my past, because we understood so deeply, I think this is where we then began to protect each other, and this is, that's where the journey started. And it's not easy, like you get this awareness, fine, but it's, it's, it's work, yeah, but it's committed every day, work together, and it gets hard, but I think what happened was because we were aware, and when the hard times came, we didn't shut down, we didn't avoid each other. We would sit there and we would feel it and we would talk about it, and we never used to do that. It may have taken long. Maybe it took, like, an hour or two hours of, like, literally talking and making sure you want to walk away, but we would then rise above it and come through it and like it just then after the heart it was like, so good and that this had and then our fights became like that, like it wasn't like we would get through it. We would sit through it all and go. Go through it all. We weren't, like, avoiding anymore and not dealing with it. And then we would just someone would make a joke, and three days later, we're like, oh, right, you know, kiss makeup, but we never talk about it. And so then by sitting through it all the heart and talking like it just got us closer, yeah, and then when you get closer, it's like, then it's the that's the emotional intimacy that we needed that then led to, like, the physical intimacy that was also, you know, struggling as well. Because as women, the physical comes from the emotional, and I don't think and then, because you don't talk it through, you never know that. Men don't know that. Ended, yeah,

Shannan Kym:

I just think that that's absolutely beautiful, you know, because when you guys both would have been laying in bed and him poor, well, you guys would have been both pouring your hearts out at this point in time, right? And I just think that's amazing. And just think of how freeing after that day, how freeing everything was, and the funny like I look at when I freed myself, but I didn't even realize that I was freeing myself. That was when I actually wrote my book. I wrote my book, yeah, and but during me writing my book, I didn't realize that I was healing at the same time that that's the funny thing when I

Jon Benitez:

you're writing

Shannan Kym:

it out, all I could think about was, is all I want is to help one person. That's all I want. That's all I want. And the freeing thing didn't actually happen until it was published. And then people are coming to me, and they're like, Yeah, we read your book and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, Really, what would you think about it? And they're like, holy smokes. Like, oh, wow, I can't believe all this stuff that you went through. And then it was like, Yeah, I went through a lot, you know, but at that time too, I kind of thought that that was normal for everybody, but I didn't realize that it wasn't, you know, we have a story. Of course, we do. But I didn't realize how much during my journey that I had endured through everything, right? And then after that, after, like, basically, I blew the lid off of everything. And, you know, lots of people were backlashing, you know, because they they didn't want to know the truths and stuff like that. That was when I was like, Oh, I got nothing to hide anymore. Oh, this is, like, the best thing ever. And from that moment on, I literally can express my feelings. I can be vulnerable. You can. You can ask me any question. I'm going to answer it, because, you know what, I have no shame left in me anymore. I was so shameful for 50 years. I'm not doing it anymore. You know, I think

Diana Benitez:

we had a lot of pride. Yeah, everyone knew us as this, like, strong and fun couple, and you and you know, we did. We have love, we have commitment, but it's, it's a thing you don't know, what you don't know. And we were never modeled on, like, what's healthy communication and and and relationships and resolving conflict, scaring your emotions, yeah, and I think, and part of it was, it was a journey. It's like, yes, there was that awareness together, but it, it's a whole journey of healing and discovery. And you know, you you learn every day, and it's everyday work. It wasn't like this one thing, aha. It's

Jon Benitez:

no for me, it's like on, it's just on layering, layering. And then that's where I'm at right now, just like unlearning. And then, you know, you go back to that layer that you peel because, you know, those layers do come back and you just have to, you just have to, you know, embrace it and say, You know what, thank you. But no, thank you, right? So it's Yeah.

Shannan Kym:

I got a question, another one here. So you guys used to host a lot of, you know, parties and stuff like that at your house. Have your friend? How have your friends circles changed? Have they become more stronger, or have you been Have you attracted more like minded people? Or that you know, you know, the couples that you used to hang out with? Have they changed? I want to know all of that.

Diana Benitez:

What do you think? So, I guess, no, because I'm in those meetups, I would host. It was a lot of the community in the real estate investing community, which is a very growth minded, you know, abundant community that really likes to work on self development. But it's always like it's a real estate focus, and I think where things are kind of different for us now, it's the journey has changed because we're more on now deep, deep inner work, consciousness, awareness. This Love and openness and and we are still connected to a lot of people there. So I wouldn't say we had a struggle of, you know, completely changing our identity. But I think where we were struggling is like, you know, we were known as this real estate investing couple, and this persona here, and we sort of struggled with like, this new shift. Like, how do it's a complete change, and maybe we're being harder on ourselves than it really was, but it was like, how do we, how do we, how do we present this new this new change, I think, is it was probably more of an inner struggle. I don't What do you think we

Jon Benitez:

did gain? We did gain friends on the way here. But, you know, it's, it's, I feel that it's acceptance, if I were to compare from now to the past when it comes to these circles, because I noticed that as being a host all the time, when you unplug people just they depend on you to host, and what happens is they, they just stop calling because you're the host. So when we, when I took a step back, I was just like, oh, okay, like, you know, like, it, it, it feels good to get a text or a call saying, Hey, man, what are you doing? You know, instead of me being the initiator to host. So that was one thing that did change, you know, and because we did sort of step back, we did, we did take a step back focus on us, to focus on us, and, you know, obviously focus on the business and and you know, and it has nothing to do where you know, we never forgot about anybody. It was just, you know, us doing our thing, you know, and you know. And that was one thing that changed.

Diana Benitez:

I am noticing, though, as we start to share our story and what we've gone through that we are finding more couples that are going through the same thing. Yeah, and I think that's what's beautiful, like just being able to share our story and help other couples, just you don't know what I say it again. You don't know what you don't know. And it's a lot of work. It's first. It's thyself, being fully whole people individually, and then becoming one. And I think on what's been the most rewarding thing out of all this as well is just then how this has rippled, on how we parent our children now, oh yeah, the old way of how we parented, and that's all, what we came from is the authoritative parent. You know? It's like, you're sort of dismissing behaviors, not really trying to understand where it's coming from, helping them process emotions, like through children. And we don't realize it, you don't. We only know what we knew, and our parents only knew what they knew. And now that, as parents that are aware, I just see the importance, because everything of our being starts from child, from being a child, and so it's how you were parenting. But if your parent didn't know, then this is where it you know. You go through your life not having the right many role models and guidance on awareness. That's

Jon Benitez:

where you're conditioned, right? And yeah, and that's all, that's all you know. And and when what you're trying to say is like with the with the work that we do on ourselves, it rewards our it rewards ourself, but it rewards everyone around us. Yeah, and we know. We notice. We notice too. We notice we we see a change in our changes in our kids. Now, where it's, you know, I'm the parent. You're the kid. You're wrong. I'm right. Where it's not, none of that now, where I now, it's like I take a knee and I look into his eyes, okay? Explain, explain. Talk to me. Why do you feel this way? Right? So,

Shannan Kym:

yeah, yeah, that the how you feel is so important that, and that's what I say to my kids, like, if you're angry or frustrated or however you feel, you need to really express that. And I'm like,

Diana Benitez:

Yeah, because we're teaching our Yeah, we're teaching our kids to suppress emotions. And the thing is, when you suppress emotions, that energy gets blocked, and then that blockage is where it

Jon Benitez:

starts to harden, harden, and then you it starts to harden. Where I can say this, because this is, this is what guys do. It hardens and becomes hard rock cement where you a chisel doesn't even break through it, and it's, you know, and that's something that, if we can try to avoid that, that's, that's, that's now,

Shannan Kym:

right? Yeah, me, me and my children, we've had some heartfelt, you know, as as a parent, we, we've all had these heartfelt conversations, and I'm starting to have more and more. With my kids, because I am so open and I am very approachable now, and like I say to them too, like, do not ever suppress any of your feelings. And the first thing I always say is, how do you feel like? How do you feel like? If you're if you want to cry, you know what? Then cry like, do not suppress your feelings, because you could end up like me, you know. And then they're like, Yeah, you know. And, and it's, I would, when I see my children cry, I'm so thankful, you know, when they they are so upset about something, I'm like, oh, at least they got that out. Do you know? Yeah, you know, it just, it's, it ends up being such a beautiful moment to me, because I'm like, Yes, look at them. Oh my gosh. You know, through your whole journey so far, what do you think you two learned the most together as a couple and individually?

Diana Benitez:

I think definitely everything starts within within you, yeah, you like it starts within you, putting yourself first, discovering who you really are, yeah, because

Jon Benitez:

you're conditioned, you know, do you know who you are, right?

Diana Benitez:

Well, do you know what you want? Why do you want it? Yeah, so

Jon Benitez:

it's, yeah, I think it's my, my answer is the same as these, it's the it's the inner work. Once you start, you know, tuning in to your thoughts, to your emotions and into yourself, you'll know, because you'll, you'll become sensitive to your emotions, right? And that's a good thing. That means you're, you know, you're you're changing, you're healing. So I would step into that realm. I would get, get to know yourself, yeah, understand yourself. Because, you know, there's, what are the two questions, two most important questions in in your life is why you were born and why you were here. So it's, it's, yeah, yourself is one

Diana Benitez:

together, together, together, it's, it's work, yeah, a marriage is work. And it's, you know, it's just like going to the gym. You want to be fit, you have to work on that every day, every day and and so a relationship is is work. It's commitment. There are things you can learn. You can't just wing it. I There are things to learn that can help you in navigating conflict, and, you know, setting boundaries

Jon Benitez:

and intimacy. Never knew how important values were. Never, yeah, we

Diana Benitez:

never had boundaries. You should, like, it was assumptions and expectation, yeah. So we've just, you know, when you do the inner work, that's when you can be, you know, be open and aware and understanding to then start to work together, because it's teamwork. You it's being on the same team. And then the work you start to do together, it's,

Jon Benitez:

can I just say that for the men out there, you know, your partner should lift you up. Your partner should support you, and if you don't have that, then I, you know, like, Why are you turning to somebody else for that? I don't know. I just, you know, when we put the work in to get the support from the was so liberating. It was so amazing, and where I felt motivated. And you know, now she she gives me the answers. Now she gives me, she tells me what I need to know. She tells me what I need, what I need. So I just, I feel that that's rare nowadays. I feel that, you know, that connection is so important, it's so important. And it it just, it helps, helps you to get by, to do anything, and

Shannan Kym:

everything you said is just, it's so perfect. It's absolutely perfect. But one thing I want to add in there too is, when it comes to boundaries, you have to have your own personal boundaries 100% but you also have to have a couple's boundary, right? Nobody gets, nobody gets past that boundary. And so many marriages don't have that. And I am speaking from personal experience, personal experience, right? You can't let sliders come into your marriage, you know, and that that was a huge thing within, within my marriage. I didn't even know there is no marriage anymore, right? I know.

Jon Benitez:

I didn't even know what a Ganju was. I thought it was just like, Okay, I'm doing this and you're doing that, but, you know, like reading books on it, and, you know, sharing more on it. I was like, oh my god, yeah, implementing

Diana Benitez:

it. And. Implementing our kids too. Now, like it sets the expectations right, to set the rules. Yeah, you know, you follow within them, and it only makes they're set to make you stronger, to protect yourself,

Shannan Kym:

and a lot of a lot of times to couples in relationship, couples in marriages or relationships, or whatever, they don't realize that your like, siblings and parents and that, like, they're not in the marriage, yeah, hey, there's a boundary, right? Like it's, it's not you, me and your family that's married, and that's really hard for some people to like, not have their parents with them all the time, and their siblings, and you know what I mean? And that is really hard for a lot of people, because they think that their family members are excluded from it. But the problem is, is that's where a lot of the marriages end up falling apart because of that, because there is no boundaries between the COVID Oh, yeah, right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Diana Benitez:

And then we, we've set boundaries, and then it's in different areas of our lives. There's boundaries on Yes, fan, on family, there's boundaries on the finances. There's boundaries on, on housework, like it, you set them for different, all the, all the holistic,

Jon Benitez:

yeah, even with our kids, with their kids, like a time. Yeah, that's it,

Shannan Kym:

right? Yep, exactly. Next question, what advice would you give to somebody that's going through the exact same thing that you guys did? There's, you know, there basically a couple that is where you guys were, you you guys weren't on the same level. What? What advice would you give them?

Shannan Kym:

That's a hard one, I know, because you guys went through the journey, and you guys were willing to do it together. But there's couples out there that I know. I

Jon Benitez:

know we just talked. I know it's like, it takes

Diana Benitez:

two. It takes two and it takes two, you know, if you because

Jon Benitez:

one can do the work right, get, you know, and just feel good, get rewarded. But if it's you know, that person could bring that person down. So it takes, it takes two and and only to get it to take to it's working on yourself.

Diana Benitez:

And it's, it's investing, it's investing in your relationship. Like, why do we spend so much money in other areas? Yet the most important thing, oh, he's, he's right here.

Shannan Kym:

Spend money on other things. And because people, why do you spend so much money on courses and stuff like that? And I'm, like, because I'm worth it. Like, look, that's it. Look at what I've learned. Like, you know, but yet, you know, you won't spend 40,000 whatever. It doesn't really matter, $10,000 on a coach that will totally help you in every area of your life, but yet, you'll go out and you'll spend $80,000 on a vehicle that's gonna break. You know what I mean to me? It's more

Diana Benitez:

Yes, or they'll go and you know what you spend on a trip that's great. But the thing with the trip is that you're not dealing with like the root cause. It you have to start with the root cause, and when you understand the root cause, then learning, there are skills and tools and practices that then help you deal with every day and and so it's investing in yourself, because you're worth it, yeah? I think that that's yeah.

Jon Benitez:

So a good example would be investing in yourself because you want to become the one that you want to become in order to be successful. Yeah? So your dream is to be a millionaire. Who do you have to become, to become that millionaire. So this is why this is important, yeah,

Shannan Kym:

to don't get that. No, they don't. Do not get I learned the hard

Jon Benitez:

way, and I am now finally getting it, and I am now in it to win it so

Shannan Kym:

and always living in the wish fulfilled. You know what I do? Know where I am in my life. I love waking up every day, and I'm just like reading the place, going into a room, right? Like I was just at a big networking thing down in at Santa Monica with the most 35 other amazing women all across the world, and I walk in there, and I did have imposter syndrome, literally for about five minutes, because I walk in there and I'm like, Who do I think I am, like, walking in here, and there are literally millionaires. They're all millionaires, and they're billionaires. These are women. Are like, C, E. O's of these companies, they've sold, they've bought and sold companies worth millions of dollars. One was a CEO in Australia that and she, like, what took care of Google and, like, it was just, she has a head of Google in Australia and all this other stuff. And I'm just kind of like, Who do I think I am? And then I'm like, I put myself in this room because I became that version of myself that is supposed to be here. And then who do I think I am? And I'm, yeah, yeah. Did I ever think that I would ever be associated with any of these people five years ago, absolutely not, but I wasn't ready. There's no way, right? But now I am, and I'm just like, good on you. Good on you. It's the most it is such a beautiful and amazing feeling, because you guys know just as well as I do that the only people that stop ourselves, that stop us, is ourselves, right? Exactly,

Diana Benitez:

it's us. Yeah,

Jon Benitez:

yes. We put the limits on we put the walls around us. It's, it's crazy, how we do that?

Shannan Kym:

Yeah. Final question here, where are you guys now in life, and in the pre we talked a little bit prior, you know, of where you guys want to be helping couples, and we talked a little bit about the niche and stuff like that. So let's talk a little bit about that.

Diana Benitez:

Yeah, yeah. And we've, you know, we have started to help couples and, like, just the best feeling, the best feeling. So we had an eight week program, and it was like, It's really like a journey. It's a journey from self to understanding past, then, you know, boundaries, it was a journey. And just through that experience is just so fulfilling. And, you know, we are ready to just put more focus attention, yeah, to, you know, to help, to help couples like this is new for us. I think what we do is you just keep sharing from our own experience. Yeah, you know, we want to be able to host workshops. It's like, oh my gosh. We had something like this, like 10 years ago, yeah? I just, you know, I wish we had something like this so we see ourselves just sharing more information. You know, we have a program doing workshops, because it's just like, it's, this is the foundation of life when it starts at home, within and with your family and, you know, and I, honestly, I'm just, I think about the kids and we're helping like, future generations. Oh, I know,

Shannan Kym:

right, yeah, yeah, right. What you guys are doing helping couples is exactly like what I did, you know, to end that in that generational addiction within my family, right? It's, it's the exact same thing, because your kids, once they got older, would have attracted the broken aspect of you guys, right? Yeah,

Diana Benitez:

and we, and we see those characteristics, and then it just passed to them. So we're, we're kind of working on our our little selves, sometimes with our kids.

Shannan Kym:

Yeah, absolutely. Oh. Is there any final words that you guys would like to say to the audience members? Because this has been absolutely wonderful.

Diana Benitez:

I just, you know what? Like when you do the work together, like life is just, it's life is so it's just so rewarding. It's so much more fulfilling, like it's then you start to really become partners in life. And I just wish that for everyone, yeah,

Jon Benitez:

I think put the time on yourself, because it is so damn rewarding. And just rewind really quick. I never when we started this, you know, opening up and stuff like that. I never realized how many couples are going through it, and I it blew my mind. Yeah,

Diana Benitez:

we thought were like, Yeah, amazing with what we saw. It's more than half. Did we realize people that we

Jon Benitez:

do, that we knew, that we talked to, and you know, and you know, and also just you know, as being a man, understanding the masculine and the feminine. I think that is my advice. We're all men out there. It's, it's that World War Two crap is, you know that that don't work anymore. You need some feminine in there. Like, yeah, yeah. You gotta cry.

Shannan Kym:

Yeah, absolutely, yeah, oh, you know what, you two. I absolutely loved our time together. This was amazing.

Diana Benitez:

I know. Thank you. I This is, I, this is actually sort of our first podcast in this film. Yes, we've done real estate investing podcast, and we're Yeah, so this is the start. It's a starting awesome. Oh

Shannan Kym:

yeah, oh yeah, yeah, this, this is the start of everything, and I am absolutely honored to have you on here like this. This was amazing. So I want to thank you guys so much for coming on. Thank you.

Diana Benitez:

Thank you for having us. I'm so glad we connected. I just, I just

Shannan Kym:

want to let my audience members know that if you know somebody that really needs to listen to this particular podcast, to please share this with them. I would also ask that you subscribe, write a review. And you know what? Just listen to my dang podcast. It's, we have a great yes on here, you know, so I want to, I want to, I want to say thank you once again, and I want to say goodbye to everybody, and everybody just have a absolutely wonderful day. Bye.

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