Shownotes
What if you're not stuck?
What if you're grieving?
In this powerful follow-up to my conversation with John Kammer of Guardian AIngels, we're diving into a truth that many people never consider: grief doesn't only happen when someone dies.
We grieve lost relationships, lost opportunities, lost dreams, lost health, childhoods we never had, and versions of ourselves we thought we'd become.
The problem is that many people don't recognize grief when they see it. Instead, they call it anxiety. Burnout. Exhaustion. Overwhelm. Feeling stuck.
In this episode, I share five surprising signs that unresolved grief may be affecting your life and explain why so many adult children of dysfunction carry emotional burdens they don't even realize they're carrying.
We'll explore:
• Why you keep replaying certain stories from your past
• How unresolved grief can contribute to emotional exhaustion
• The hidden connection between triggers and loss
• Why personal growth sometimes feels impossible
• How grief can make it difficult to experience joy
• The relationship between grief, nervous system dysregulation, and emotional healing
Most importantly, you'll learn how to begin identifying what you're carrying so you can start releasing it.
If you've ever wondered why you feel stuck despite doing all the "right" things, this episode may provide the missing piece.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
• Grief is not limited to death
• Unprocessed grief often shows up as anxiety, exhaustion, and emotional reactivity
• Your triggers may be connected to losses you haven't acknowledged
• Feeling stuck isn't always a motivation problem—it may be an emotional burden problem
• Healing begins when we stop asking "What's wrong with me?" and start asking "What am I carrying?"
WHAT YOU'LL LEARN
✔ The five hidden signs of unresolved grief
✔ Why grief often disguises itself as anxiety and overwhelm
✔ How grief impacts the nervous system
✔ Why emotional avoidance keeps people stuck
✔ A new framework for understanding your emotional patterns
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As an international inspirational speaker, NLP Practitioner, Trauma-Informed Coach, Neurofit Trainer, and Best-Selling Author, I bring both deep personal experience and professional training to the work I do. I believe in prevention, not just intervention — and use a body, mind, and spirit approach to guide others toward becoming the happiest, healthiest versions of themselves.
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Transcripts
Welcome back to Tammy's Takes,
where we take powerful conversations
2
:with our guests and turn them into
incredible practical strategies
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:you can use right here, right now.
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:So this week, I had the opportunity
to sit down with John Kammer,
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:founder of Guardian Angels, an
AI-powered grief support platform.
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:And while we talked a lot about
grief, something kept standing out to
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:me through the entire conversation.
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:Most people honestly don't
even realize they're grieving.
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:They might think they're anxious,
they might think they're stuck,
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:they might think they're burned
out, they think they're unmotivated,
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:they think they're failing.
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:But what if the underneath all
those symptoms is just grief that
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:they never had a chance to process?
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:T Today I wanna talk to you about
five signs you're grieving something
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:you haven't even identified yet.
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:And before you tune out because
nobody died, hear me out.
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:Grief isn't just about death.
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:We grieve relationships, we
grieve childhoods, we grieve lost
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:dreams, we grieve who we thought
we were going to become, we grieve
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:marriages, we grieve our health, we
grieve opportunities we never got.
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:And if you're an adult child of
dysfunction, chances are you spent years
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:carrying grief that nobody ever gave
you permission to even acknowledge.
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:So let's dive in.
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:The first sign you're grieving
something you haven't identified
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:is that you keep revisiting the
same story over and over again.
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:You know the one.
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:You tell yourself you're over it, you tell
yourself you've moved on, and then somehow
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:you find yourself thinking about it again,
thinking about it again, explaining it
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:again, replaying it again, over and over.
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:Why?
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:Because unresolved grief keeps knocking
on the door until it's acknowledged.
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:It doesn't go away.
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:The mind doesn't repeat
things because you're broken.
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:It repeats them because
something is left unfinished.
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:Something still needs your attention,
something still needs compassion, it
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:needs love, The second sign is that
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:you feel exhausted all the time.
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:Not physically tired, but emotionally
tired, soul tired, mentally tired.
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:One of the things I see over and over
again in my coaching practice is people
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:carrying emotional loads that they
don't even realize they're carrying.
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:They've become so accustomed to carrying
around disappointment, anger, guilt,
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:shame, and all the other emotions,
that it starts to feel normal to them.
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:But carrying unprocessed
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:emotions takes energy,
and it takes a lot of it.
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:Your nervous system doesn't know
the difference between a threat
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:that's happening right now in the
moment and a wound that's never been
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:resolved, so it stays on high alert.
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:It stays vigilant.
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:It stays exhausted.
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:Sometimes what looks like
burnout is actually grief.
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:The third sign is that you overreact to
things that don't seem that important.
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:Maybe someone doesn't call you back.
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:Maybe your spouse forgets something.
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:Maybe your boss sends a short little
email, and it just rubs you the wrong way.
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:Suddenly, you are
overwhelmed with emotion.
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:You feel rejected,
abandoned, angry, worthless.
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:Here's what I want you to understand.
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:The reaction is rarely
about the current event.
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:It's usually It's usually
touching something older.
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:Grief has a way of hiding
beneath our triggers.
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:Many times we're not reacting
to what just happened.
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:We're reacting to every single
something similar that happened before.
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:That's why healing
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:isn't about fixing the reaction.
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:It's about understanding what the
reaction is trying to tell us.
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:So moving on to the fourth sign.
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:You can't seem to move forward
no matter how hard you try.
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:You read the books.
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:You listen to the podcasts.
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:You attend the workshops.
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:You set the goals.
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:You make the vision boards,
and yet you still feel stuck.
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:What if you aren't stuck?
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:What if you're carrying something around
that's too heavy to move forward with?
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:Imagine trying to run a race while
you're carrying this huge bag of bricks.
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:I talk about the the invisible backpack
that's on your back that is every single
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:unprocessed thing you ever dealt with.
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:That's gonna weigh you down, my friends.
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:Sometimes before we can move
on, we need to make space
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:for what we've been carrying.
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:We have to acknowledge the losses.
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:We have to honor the pain.
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:We have to stop pretending
we're okay when we're not.
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:we have to start doing
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:these things now.
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:Now, the fifth sign is one that breaks
my heart because I see it so often.
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:You have a hard time feeling joy, not
because you're unhappy, not because your
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:life is terrible, - but because somewhere
along the way, your nervous system learned
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:that it wasn't safe to fully relax.
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:It wasn't safe to celebrate.
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:It wasn't safe to trust good things.
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:Honestly, many adult children of
dysfunction become experts at surviving,
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:but they never learn how to receive.
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:They never learn how to feel safe
enough to experience joy without
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:waiting for the other shoe to drop.
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:And underneath that is often grief.
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:Grief for the childhood they didn't have,
grief for the safety they deserve, grief
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:for the love they needed, grief for all
the years they spent trying to become
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:who everyone else needed them to be.
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:So you've got the five signs.
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:So what do we do with all this?
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:We stop running.
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:We stop judging ourselves.
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:We stop asking, "What's wrong with me?"
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:And we start asking a different
question, starting now.
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:The question that I
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:want you to ask yourself is, "What am I
carrying that hasn't been acknowledged?"
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:Because healing doesn't begin when
we force ourselves to move on.
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:Healing begins when we tell the
truth, the truth about what hurt,
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:the truth about what was lost, the
truth about what we're still carrying.
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:And from there, we can begin
creating safety in the body.
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:We can begin regulating
the nervous system.
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:We can begin releasing what no
longer belongs to us, and that's
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:where real healing starts.
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:So if this episode
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:resonated with you, I want to
invite you to take the next step.
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:One of the things I love about the
biofrequency scans that I offer is
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:that they often reveal stress patterns,
emotional burdens, and nervous system
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:imbalances that people have been carrying
for years without even realizing it.
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:Sometimes the body is telling a story that
the mind fully hasn't caught up with yet.
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:So if you're curious about what
your body might be holding onto
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:that you'd like to support and
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:identifying some of
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:those patterns, I'd love to invite you
to book a complimentary session with me.
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:We'll talk about what's going on,
explore what's keeping you stuck,
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:and see if a scan or coaching might
be the next right step for you.
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:You don't have to figure it all out alone.
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:The link is in the show notes.
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:But until next time, remember
this: you may not be stuck.
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:You may simply be carrying grief
that never had a chance to be
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:heard, and healing begins the
moment you start listening.
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:Have a beautiful week, my friends, and
we'll see you next time on Tammy Sakes.
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:Have a blessed one
