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Episode Summary
“It does get better. But slowly.”
For more than 40 years, author David Deane Haskell carried profound grief and unearned shame surrounding his mother's death by suicide when he was a child.
He tried to escape what he was carrying through addiction, relationships, creativity, and simply trying to keep going. But underneath it all were younger parts of himself that had never stopped carrying loneliness, fear, rejection, and shame.
In this episode of Spiritual Friction, David shares his journey through addiction recovery, codependency, inner child healing, spirituality, and learning to relate differently to the parts of himself he once tried to avoid.
David describes the different younger parts he has encountered through his healing—the lonely boy, the runaways, and the nine-year-old he calls the “shame shocked boy.” Rather than treating these experiences as something to simply “let go,” he began turning toward them with curiosity, compassion, and care.
We also explore the importance of community and being witnessed. For David, connecting with others who understood addiction and codependency offered something he hadn't found elsewhere: the realization that he wasn't alone.
“Oh, you feel like that too? Oh, my God.”
Together, we talk about why healing doesn't always happen through one breakthrough, how codependency can become intertwined with identity and self-worth, what it means to build a relationship with our inner child, and why some of the smallest acts of self-care can matter when we're struggling simply to make it through the day.
David also shares the spiritual awakening he experienced on a beach in Japan after years of addiction and self-destructive behavior. Looking out at the horizon, he was struck by the realization that he had survived—and that he was grateful to still be alive.
“I’m here. I’m alive, and I’m glad I’m alive.”
This is a conversation about childhood trauma, inner child healing, toxic shame, codependency, addiction, spirituality, loneliness, belonging, and the slow journey back to Self.
In This Episode, We Explore:
- Carrying childhood grief and unearned shame into adulthood
- Inner child healing and the parts of ourselves that become frozen in earlier experiences
- Loneliness, rejection, and the need to feel understood
- Addiction, codependency, and using relationships to feel safe
- Why familiar relationships can be difficult to leave even when they are no longer healthy
- Community, peer support, and the experience of realizing “I’m not alone”
- Why healing may take years rather than one dramatic breakthrough
- Self-worth beyond what we can do for other people
- Spiritual awakening, meditation, and discovering something larger than ourselves
- Self-care as a practice rather than a quick fix
- Vulnerability and the fear of allowing other people to see our stories
- Healing through storytelling and being witnessed
- Finding our way back to ourselves
Key Quotes
“There wasn’t any singular moment. It’s been a years-long process.”
“It does get better. But slowly. And it is beautiful in its own way, but that doesn’t make the pain any less painful.”
“Oh, I’m not alone. Oh, you feel like that too? Oh, my God.”
“I’m here. I’m alive, and I’m glad I’m alive.”
“Don’t give up on yourself.”
About David Deane Haskell
David Deane Haskell is the author of six books, including Wounded Angels, a deeply personal account of his inner child healing journey.
After decades of struggling with trauma, grief, addiction, codependency, and unearned shame surrounding his mother's death, David began documenting his healing in real time. What began as deeply personal inner child work eventually became Wounded Angels.
David is also a musician and fiction writer, and his creative life has become intertwined with the healing and transformation he continues to experience. In this conversation, he describes his work not as a prescription for how someone else should heal, but as an honest record of what healing has felt like for him.
Connect with David:
Website: https://daviddeanehaskell.com
Wounded Angels: https://books2read.com/woundedangels
About Your Host
Laurel LeMohn is an integrative trauma therapist, founder of Redwood Coast Psychotherapy and SoulBody Wellness, and host of Spiritual Friction: A Space for Deep Feelers.
Her work explores trauma, nervous system regulation, embodiment, self-trust, spirituality, relationships, and the stories we have come to believe about ourselves.
Across therapy, community, and storytelling, Laurel creates spaces for deeper thinkers and feelers who have spent years searching for language, understanding, and connection.
SoulBody Wellness: https://www.soulbodywellness.health
Redwood Coast Psychotherapy
If you’re looking for a space to explore trauma, relationships, self-trust, identity, or the patterns that keep showing up in your life, Redwood Coast Psychotherapy offers virtual therapy for adults in California and Washington.
Learn more or schedule a consultation through Redwood Coast Psychotherapy.
A Note About This Conversation
This episode includes discussion of childhood trauma, addiction, depression, suicide, suicidal thoughts, and the death of a parent by suicide. Please listen with care and take whatever space you need.
Spiritual Friction is a storytelling and educational podcast. The experiences and perspectives shared by guests are their own and are not intended as medical, psychological, or mental-health advice.
If you are experiencing a mental-health crisis or thinking about suicide in the United States, call or text 9-8-8 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
Stories held with care.