About This Episode

In this episode of Tapped In, David Figueroa-Martinez explores the realities of the changing body across years of training Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. From confronting self-consciousness around skin-tight No-Gi gear to debunking the comparison trap between everyday hobbyists and full-time athletes, David shares an honest, grounded perspective on navigating physical shifts, aging, and recovery. He breaks down why no single body type reigns supreme—highlighting how whether you rely on length and spider guard or heaviness and crushing pressure, your physical attributes are tools to be leveraged rather than flaws to hide.

3 Key Takeaways

• Every Body Type Owns a Distinct Advantage: From the lanky guard player’s impenetrable knee shield to the heavier practitioner’s suffocating pressure pass, physical differences dictate tactical strengths rather than limitations.
• Ditch the Full-Timer Comparison Trap: Trying to mirror the physique, volume, or technical growth of athletes without 40-hour workweeks, family demands, and real-world stress only invites burnout and injury.
• Your Academy Only Cares That You Show Up: Mat anxiety over tight gear, weight changes, or aging bodies is overwhelmingly internal; real training partners care about your presence and shared development, not your appearance.

Chapters

• 00:00 – Introduction: Welcome to Tapped In & The Changing Body
• 00:35 – Social Media, Representation, & Technique Across Body Types
• 01:45 – Vulnerability in No-Gi: Overcoming Gear Anxiety & Self-Consciousness
• 02:50 – Mat Realities vs. "Superhero" Gym Culture
• 04:45 – The Comparison Trap: Hobbyists vs. Full-Time Competitors
• 06:05 – Maturing on the Mats: Navigating Age, Injuries, & Recovery
• 07:35 – What Your Teammates Actually Care About
• 08:45 – Tactical Advantages of Every Build: Spider Guards to Pressure Passing
• 10:40 – Finding Community, Patreon Announcements, & Outro

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David Figueroa-Martinez

Founder, DFM Coaching Bjj

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Full Episode Transcript

David Figueroa-Martinez: Welcome to Tapped In. My name is David Figueroa-Martinez of DFM Coaching, and today we’re going to be discussing the changing body. So this is going to go for men and women. And nothing of what I’m about to say is disparaging or meant to look down at—none of that. I was on Instagram and I was scrolling through and I came across this video of a woman that was plus-size. And she was doing No-Gi and she’s teaching this technique—fabulous technique. Well beyond what I can do, because I don't play with people's legs all that often, but she was like weaving legs and getting into this and that.

David: But one of the things that I realized was that I don't see enough of plus-size or high-calorie—and again, say that with love—athletes posting techniques, specifically in No-Gi. Social media is really ugly sometimes. And you want to post something, you want to share technique, you want to build your business, you want to share the art that you absolutely love, you may want to show things for your student base. And you can't help—and I'm not speaking for her or anyone else—you can't help worry about how you might look on camera.

David: I worry about it. And I am by no means a high-calorie athlete, but I'm not small either. I'm short in stature, I'm a little wide, husky, or whatever you want to call it. And so I watched the video, and my initial thoughts were: great technique, and why don't we have more of this? And I want to see more. I want to see more of us being more out there regardless of how we initially feel. And again, I understand that social media is really ugly sometimes and you're going to get some really nasty comments out there.

David: Sometimes you're going to get comments that are meant to be flattering and they don't come off that way. And sometimes you're going to get those just really nasty comments and they're going to hurt your feelings and make you maybe second-guess what you should be doing. I don't like being in front of cameras. I don't like being the focal point. But I feel like if I'm going to grow the business, if I'm going to grow my sphere of influence in social media and martial arts and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu as a whole, I'm going to have to do some things.

David: So I'm doing it slowly and I'm getting more comfortable and I'm getting behind the camera—or in front of it, I should say—and I'm doing more. But it also made me think of when I used to be at my old gym, and a lot of the guys there were built like superheroes. They were chiseled, they were like Adonises, they were moving around, shirts off and just... And I remember sitting there like, I don't know how anyone gets like this. Because I'm working out, and I know I'm not in a gym three, four hours a day or anything like that, but I'm working out, I'm training regularly, I'm trying to watch what I'm eating. But my body is not doing what these dudes are doing.

David: Come to find out, they were all juicing. Or most of them were juicing. So it was a different atmosphere and I was just looking at things through a tainted lens, if I should say. And I just didn't understand it. I didn't know it at the time. Looking back at it now, it's clear as day now that I've been in the sport quite a bit. But it's an interesting thing, because we all go through this weird—I don't want to say all, but many of us—"Ah, do I look weird in spats? Do I look weird in No-Gi? Do I..." Like, I go through it. I feel weird in it.

David: And I always felt like it was too revealing, so I preferred No-Gi in a lot of contexts, or I would get a rash guard that was a little bit more loose-fitting. Some rash guard companies have like a looser bottom when it comes to the rash guard itself, so it's not so tight around the waist and showing my gut and... you know what I mean. And so looking at it, I know that I can't be the only one. I know I can't be the only one that has these thoughts, even as a guy. And I know guys are... we talk more about like, "Ah, it doesn't bother us. We just... we are what we are." But we have those thoughts, too.

David: And being in No-Gi is very revealing. I feel... you almost feel naked. Like everything's showing. Rash guards tight, the shorts aren't necessarily super baggy. So it's an interesting dynamic for people who have body concerns or confidence when it comes to the body. But it also got me thinking that if we're doing this for the long term, if we're doing Jiu-Jitsu for 15, 20, 30, 40 years, and this is something that we want to do as we get older, safely of course, we're going to have a lot of changes over that time.

David: And we're going to have a lot of life changes that happen. We're going to have aging that happens. We're just going to change, and we're not going to look the same. And I'm hoping that more of us start to feel more comfortable being quote-unquote "imperfect," or just different than what the standard is. And that is okay. I want us to get away from that comparison trap of hobbyist versus the full-timer, because that will fuck you up.

David: One, just technique-wise. Like, my technique is never going to be on par with someone who spends six, seven hours a week, if not more, on the mats. It's just not going to happen. My body's also not going to be on par, because I don't have time to train the way they're training. I don't have the energy oftentimes. You work full-time, you got the spouse, you got the kids, you have other stressors—you might be taking care of someone else, like a parent, or looking after someone else in your life, and you might have another job on top of that. But you just don't have the time to devote to going to the gym on top of going to the academy and training.

David: So it's hard to fit that stuff in. Understand that we're not comparing ourselves to the full-timers, the people who can do this professionally, or even remotely like semi-professionally. So we have to understand that we only have so many hours in a day. And some of that is going to be interchanged, and maybe I want to do the gym, but I don't have the time because my passion is Jiu-Jitsu. So then do Jiu-Jitsu. Maybe do a light workout at home with a kettlebell. Something that you can do at home that doesn't require you to do this other shit. But don't compare yourselves physically or technique-wise with the pros. It's incredibly unhealthy, because they're just living a different life than you.

David: You're also going to be changing due to age. I'm feeling it. 45 this year. My lower back is trash sometimes; right now it's feeling pretty good. I don't have any knee injuries, thankfully. I don't have any major neck stuff. But my energy levels aren't there always. And sometimes, you know, it's harder to lose certain weight, it's harder to lose this, and it's harder to keep this trim and fit. And you just sort of have to accept it. We're getting older, especially the hobbyists, the older grapplers. You may have just hit 40, 45, 50, some of you in your 60s. And just accept it.

David: Doesn't mean that you don't want to try, because we want to be healthy. But at the same time, we're not trying to kill ourselves trying to do something that is not healthy for us. And I want us to shift from that comparison. I want us to shift from those doubts of like, "Oh, should I go to No-Gi because of my weight and how I'm going to look in a rash guard and spats and shorts?" Go. Put it on. Put on the most wild shit ever. Put on the Spider-Man outfit. Put some shorts over it, please. I don't want to see any men in just spats.

David: Enjoy yourselves. And in all honesty, being 15 years in, 45 years now on this planet, I find that Jiu-Jitsu mats are the least judgmental when it comes to physical capabilities, or someone's weight. For me at least, I don't hear people badmouthing other people behind their back. And it might be that I'm an instructor and people don't do that around me—fair. But it's never been something I heard. And it's interesting, because we see it online so much, so we think that it's this thing that just happens. But I don't see that at the academies. And it might be the academy that I'm at, it might be the ones that I'm in and out of. I don't hear that at all.

David: I don't hear any comments about people's bodies: "Oh, why did they wear that rash guard? Why do they wear this?" The only thing that I do hear is, "Why is he wearing spats and no shorts?" That I hear. But I don't hear anything about people's weights. No one's talking about weights. And again, I could be wrong. It might be happening at unhealthy gyms, it might be happening behind my back somewhere that I don't know, but it's not something that I heard of for me in the gyms that I was at when I was coming up. It just wasn't.

David: So I want us to erase that. I want us to stop worrying about what someone might think or someone might say. You're also going to have injuries, you're going to have maybe post-surgery, you're going to have maybe a pregnancy. You're going to have a couple of things that are going to alter your body. Again, your team doesn't give a fuck. Your team just wants you to be around. And if it's in a super skin-tight rash guard and spats and shorts, get out there and train. Again, our lives are going to change. Our bodies are going to change. No one expecting us to be these gods and these professional wrestlers or superheroes.

David: That's not us. We're hobbyists. We go to work, and then we go train, and just do the thing over and over simply because we love what we do. And then, you know, you want to have that work-life balance as well so you don't, again, like I said, do not kill yourselves trying to attain something that doesn't really help you. Have fun. Enjoy yourselves. Stop worrying about the weight. Stop worrying about how you look in a rash guard, the size of the gi you're wearing. Get out there and have fun. Get out there and just enjoy yourselves.

David: The beauty of Jiu-Jitsu is that every body type has a unique attribute to it that other body types don't necessarily have. You'll have the short, fast; you'll have the tall, lanky spider guard, and they can push you away with their legs, and passing their legs is a maze because the knee shield is four feet away from the hip line, and you're just trying to come forward and you can't, and feels like you're fighting a daddy longlegs. And then you got the tank, if you will—the higher-calorie athlete—that gives you a very different feel and look, and you can apply that body and that approach differently than everyone else.

David: And there's no better than, there's no worse than, there's no comparative. Every body gives us a specific attribute that we get to use as best we can. And sometimes that means, because I got a little bit more weight on me, I get to pressure pass. I get to crush you from side and top of half and mount and north-south. And fuck it, you get to deal with it. Same way I got to deal with the speed and the length that other people have, you're going to have to deal with my pressure. Nothing wrong with that.

David: So I'm hoping that this maybe helps some people who maybe don't feel comfortable when they get on the mats. You are not alone. Many of us are feeling the same way; we just don't talk about it. Many of us are dealing with that self-consciousness of having extra weight, or trying to figure out how to lose the weight but you can't quite, and it's a battle. And I want you guys to feel seen and understood, and know that your teammates do not give a fuck. They just want to see you on the mats.