Join us for Decadent Care, November 8-9 in Winnipeg, MB:

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Join Wendi Park and her guests (and parents) Allen and Anita on an inspiring episode of Journey With Care, all about the power of hospitality. Learn about the biblical roots of this gift and command, how to receive hospitality, and why it's more than just extravagant spreads. Discover the joy of creating connections and a sense of belonging through hospitality. Plus, don't miss the opportunity to get a copy of a special recipe book that supports the mission of Care Impact. 

Plus, find out how you can support their cause by donating and receiving a copy of the book. Prepare for the holiday season with heartwarming stories and a message of love and care.

[00:00:30] Thanksgiving: celebrating family, indigenous people, togetherness.

[00:04:05] Hospitality: a gift, command, and necessity.

[00:07:37] Generous grandma and parents with giving spirit.

[00:12:44] Home-cooked meals welcomed business associates, forging friendships.

[00:15:42] My siblings guided my choice, youngest child.

[00:19:06] Family legacy passed on through baking tradition.

[00:20:13] Cookbook combines favorite recipes, photos, and more.

[00:25:34] Cookbook inspires hospitality, sharing meals, and unity.

[00:27:25] Raising funds to connect and equip churches.

Mentioned in this episode:

See the gift-giving catalogue!

https://careimpactchristmas.com

CareImpact Christmas

Well, welcome to the Journey with Care podcast. This is a special weekend, Thanksgiving. And with me in studio are very special guests. People that are near and dear to me are my parents, Alan and Anita Koehler. Welcome to the podcast.

Thank you, Wendy. We're glad to be here. This is good.

What a treat.

So all across Canada, Thanksgiving is a kind of a big deal for many people, Where we gather as family and some churches gather and and share food together. And it's significant that it follows right after The National Day For Truth and Reconciliation and and a a very heavy topic and a time to celebrate our indigenous people across Turtle Island, and now we are coming together for Thanksgiving. I wanna ask you, what has Thanksgiving meant to you growing up? I know your name is Anita, but you're my mom, so I can't call you Anita. I'm gonna give you the term that I always call you is Lovingly known as Nicha, Nicha, what does Thanksgiving mean to you?

Well, growing up, Thanksgiving was a time when harvest was done growing up in the farm. And, just to give thanks, take some time out to see what the lord has blessed us with and share that with others.

Yeah. And Alan Kaler, also known as Pops. Pops, what does Thanksgiving mean to you?

Well, for a large most of my life, we've grown up just recognizing that in in fall, even though I grew up as a a towns a town boy, But, growing up and having Thanksgiving and having family together and inviting our neighbors often was part of our tradition in our home. And, yeah. So Thanksgiving is a kind of a transition time of the year, but also time to celebrate.

Now when we think of Thanksgiving, I Think of growing up as a child, having turkey dinners, pumpkin pies, lots of food, lots of friends and family around me. I want us to to hone in on a special topic that you, Nitya, are particularly gifted in. And, pops, you have demonstrated a lot of practice in is the word hospitality. So let's land on the word hospitality a little bit and And talk about what hospitality means to you. What would you say hospitality means to you?

To me, hospitality is, It's, opening your homes, your hearts, your arms to people, not just in need. We sometimes think the People in need are the poor, but there's many rich that are very lonely, and they wanna belong. So I find that's an area that we can do hospitality. I think of around the table, of course, because I like to cook and serve, but hospitality is bigger than that. It is taking other people into your life, take them as they are, and Build each other up.

Well, when I think about hospitality, Anita and I both grew up in homes where it was natural and normal for people to come over. So we grew up with the whole concept of what we have is not our own. We shared with others as we can And learning what it means also to receive hospitality. It's been a been a a growth issue since I was a child.

Hospitality has been a major theme for me growing up in our home. I remember always having different people around the table, people that weren't related to us, Some were, but many a variety of people of different ethnicities and backgrounds, different socioeconomic statuses, there was always a place at the table. Can you tell me more about what hospitality means from a biblical perspective? Is it something that just some people are just really good at? Oh, you are people people, So you you do that so well, or is it is there something more to it from a biblical perspective?

You know, hospitality, while it became natural to us from our families, In essence, the Bible speaks about it in 2 ways, and one is that it's a gift. And if you would know Anita better, she certainly is gifted in it. It's a spiritual gift, but it is also a command in scripture and one that we as families and churches and Organizations need to practice more and so it's become a very important topic to me. The first example of Jesus teaching his own disciples When he sent them on their 1st mission trip, he sent them out to do miracles and all those things, and that was good. But he also sent them out saying, don't take along any of your supplies Because I think he was teaching them, if you wanna be, an effective minister in whatever profession and calling God has, You need to learn how to receive hospitality because I really believe that it is in learning to receive hospitality That we actually can maximize both the gift and the command. And whether you're gifted and whether you're an introvert or not, There's a command for hospitality. And as you receive it, you will be able to extend it to those that need it in so much and in so many ways.

Truth be told, I I love hospitality. I love having people over, and that was the hard part for me to learn when we were in our role of traveling a lot to actually accept hospitality. I felt, am I a burden to them? And God had to teach me that, and my husband helped me too. It all helped me a lot of saying that they do it as unto the Lord, and you need to receive it as unto the Lord.

I think that's a valuable point because so often we think of hospitality as a one way we have to be the philanthropist. Right? That we have to be the ones giving, and certainly there needs to be an element of Generosity to hospitality, but it's in that mutual caring for each other, needing each other, inviting each other, belonging to each other that really creates an environment of hospitality. Because I can tell you, I've been to places that have Beautiful spreads, everything to the hilt, and and just beautiful things, but I did not feel belonging. I felt Served, and that's beautiful. But those places even in in South America or or in these situations that you would think, what could I possibly receive. I shouldn't be in the situation. I should be the giver. Those are the places that I felt like I belonged and that I was accepted and I could partake with people. It's so much more than the Martha Stewart show. Wouldn't you say? Although, you actually do a lot of Martha Stewart. I I I've gotta say the gift of hospitality, you think of those little things to make it exceptional.

But we've come through, we had a new house, a big house, and and, of course, we had enough bedrooms and hospitality was a given. The yard and all, we could practice hospitality and parties and all that. Then we moved to a place that was in town, a little smaller. I thought, okay. My time of hospitality is done. But, no, they didn't come for the house. And now we live in a smaller place yet, and we still get company overnight. They really don't look at the house as much As feeling that they belong, the warmth, and the hospitality.

So looking back at your childhood, is there something, a story, or or a Person or circumstance that really you look back to as impacting you that has influenced your desire to create hospitality for others?

Well, I think back as a little girl, I think of my grandma, actually. She didn't have the education. She didn't have the tools, but she had the know how. And she was legally blind, and yet she always had a door open To somebody or another, somebody who needed a home, somebody who wasn't really accepted, they always had a good chance. And that and she gave him a good chance. But she also had boundaries. And if they cross the line, there was consequences, and then they could come back. So that was very impactful to think that she did that in spite of her difficulties that she had in Blindness and different things. And then when I think of my mom and dad, there was always something. I think they made their living by giving. They weren't wealthy, but they never run short. And I remember one story of and this is just an example that where we grew up. It was quite common if, the car turned on. There was no emails, no phone calls to say we're coming. But a carload could come, and they could have 5, 6 children with them, But we're low on bread or whatever, and we'd run to the neighbors to to see if they could have a loaf of bread or maybe butter or maybe milk. And so this one time, I ran to 1 neighbor, and I came back and said they're low on it too. And we'll run to the next neighbor. They ran low too, and my mom whipped hotcakes, like a pancake, hotcakes. And she figured, I'm gonna feed the kids first, fill them all up with hotcakes, and then I'll keep some of my bread For the adults. Well, this was an apathy kind of a family. And so this lady said, would it be k. If I also had some hotcakes. Sure, mom said. So she whipped up another big batch, and they had hotcakes. But it was always served with warmth and a wonderful way, and so people didn't have to know that she actually was short in one way or another.

Well and I experienced that hospitality too because that's my grandma you're talking about. And and so there was so many times where people would just stop By the door, they could see we're having a family gathering. And a lot of people that didn't fit into family gatherings, but they saw things were going, they knew they would feel acceptance, and there would be always a Spot at the table. In fact, I'm gonna quiz you on this. What is grandpa's favorite saying when we're sitting at the table?

Come join the table. There's always room for more. We've been blessed with many guests that enter our front door.

And that was his saying until he live he lived a 101 years. Yep. And that was always a saying. And even in the personal care room, there was always room. There's always that extra chair, always that other. And In our family, my personally family with with my husband and the kids, we are a very diverse family, ethnically diverse, and we come from all kinds of different backgrounds, Grounds, but we are family. And so when I bring my kids and and and grandkids to them when they were alive, There was always a room for acceptance, and I thought that that is beautiful. He always created and your mom, my grandma always created Space for people, particularly those that were marginalized in society. To me, that is a great picture of hospitality.

And I thought it was just normal. That's how we live.

I thought it was normal too, and I think we're we're sort of bicuriously passing that to other generations, and I love it. Nothing excites me more than when my kids bring home people Right. Or bring home others that they're working with that just need a place to land, and nothing honors me more in that legacy that you have passed on to our family.

And I love cooking for your family when they come.

We are garberators.

I just make lots. And I know they don't always come for the food, but it helps. But they they come for that they wanna belong. And One thing I always like to celebrate is the fact that it isn't just are we blood related. Family is family of god, and And we can feel close. Doesn't matter where they come from.

And and what you were saying, dad, earlier about This, mutual benefit for people coming around the table or providing hospitality that it's it's a two way street, It is that way too. So when we invite people to our table, or when we sit at somebody else's table, everybody wins.

Right.

That we we lose some blessing if we're not part of the hospitality.

Well, I guess I grew up just taking it for granted. I hadn't thought so much of it till I, came into the my my into faith with with Jesus, but but I remember even when we were first married, I didn't think about it at all. I just would bring somebody home, And I would expect, Anita, my mom always had something in the fridge, so I thought that was natural. I didn't understand intricacies of running a house, to be quite honest.

And when I asked what will I make? And he says, you always have something. You said then I said, well, then you said, well, if nothing else, take some of the freezer. And I said, And how does it get there?

Well, you see, I I worked in business in the printing business in those earlier years, and people would come in from Toronto or Vancouver. And we didn't have many restaurants in the town where I lived, so I thought, well, I I don't wanna take them there, so so why don't you bring them home? And so they enjoyed our home cooked meals. People big shots from Toronto that I didn't know otherwise, but to us, it was natural. We would do that. And so I sometimes imposed what I thought was natural on Anita, But fortunately, she had the gift of hospitality and not just the obedience to it. And so how that happened, I think God sometimes Change those loaves and fishes into more, and, god bless us through that. And we made many great friends. Some people that we're still in contact with today many years later that I got to know through business because they sat at our table, not because of the business I did with them.

But I remember one time you brought an author cookbook and her husband Overnight, and I was supposed to cook for her, and I was intimidated. And I'm not sure how well I cooked, but we remained friends.

But you did it, and she, worked with, with you, dad, on the printing of it, so it can't have been that bad. I think you got the gift of hotcakes, passed on from your mom, from grandma, because you can make a simple bowl of soup and just put the right touch on the table. You always did it like a little tablecloth. Nothing Fancy. I think to impress us, but always something that showed intentionality that you matter, your presence means something to me. And I was sitting at those tables with little pigtails, taking in all these stories from from coast to coast, these people that would come. And I realized it didn't matter what was served, but people were taken in by hospitality. It didn't matter where they came from, but It just shows what Bible says is true. We all are created to belong. We are all created for relationships, and that connection was so valuable. I think it's beautiful.

What comes to mind, Wendy, when you talk about your experience growing up in our home, we would practice often on Sunday mornings. We would say to you or your sister or brother and say, today, you can invite whomever you want, and they'll come over for lunch. And so, we didn't know who would be coming. It would be your choice, but, we, again, we made friends that we wouldn't otherwise have known. And hospitality is a way of extending who our values and our beliefs into the Lives of other people and also training our children what it means actually to give of ourselves, not just of our food and our home.

Wendy, do you remember the time when, Daryland and Daryland were a little older? I'm not sure just what age you would have been. But there was a time where you're interested in cooking, and 1 would do a dessert, 1 would do another, and the other and we'd cook for a family of, let's say, 5, And we didn't know who was coming. But as a family, we cooked together, and next day was a surprise who would come and share it. I think that was a wonderful time.

I remember that. And I remember it was our choice, but my older brother and sister would always try to manipulate me to something that because I always had, like, These weird concoctions I'd like to make and they were too embarrassed, and so I think I was heavily guided in my choice. This is the joy of Of being the youngest and but in reflection, I would say, honestly, I'm not trying to hide anything. I don't necessarily have the gift of hospitality like I see Demonstrated in you. But what you have taught me from a biblical perspective that regardless if we are Martha Stewart or we have that extra edge of giftedness, Hospitality is something we are called into as as relational beings, and that's something that I have taken to light because, You know what? News flash, my house isn't always spotless. We have 10 in our home. It it can't be. And there's there's things on the go and a a ministry to run, and And God has called me on a mission, yet God has given me opportunity to be hospitable. And I realize If I just open my heart, open my home, and share what I have, what we're eating and they're invited. I've had People from coast to coast. I think of it just from when I was a kid. Now, I have people visiting for for ministry, authors and speakers and people that I should be taking them to fine dining. I'm having them around our table, and I don't think they're shying away. They come back for more. And so

And you always have room for more even for beds.

Oh, we just stack them.

But that's hospitality. It isn't just eating. It is not just around the table.

That's right. It's it's a posture of openness that you matter. We will create space. But I also have to Say that I was really I have been really impacted by a lot of my indigenous brothers and sisters in South America where I went to school and where I lived with and where I was Doing apprenticeship with in a in a community in Santa Cruz, there was always a place for more. They always shared what they had with me and it was reciprocal. And I often value that it doesn't matter what I have, but that I have a posture, that open handed posture, and and it's just beautiful. So so I've I've gained a lot from from that experience too. It's not just giving in the excess that we have. I don't go to my bank account and say, I can't afford to invite somebody over. No. We're gonna invite people over. We're gonna have somebody over and god supplies. And and that's that's hospitality as well, Which you've demonstrated.

What I really appreciated about your household as it's growing and growing and filling, that you're sharing. You, hold them open in the fact that, we can get close to them, And it's it's a good testimony in the community, in the family.

Well, a wise woman once said, Nicha, That you can't out give God. Absolutely. Well, I'm excited about a project that we're actually Here working on this weekend, my sister, your daughter, Dorelin, is out with DG Design, and we are having a little work retreat that we're pretty jazzed about. We're calling it the Inspiring Hospitality Campaign, and it's all revolving around a cookbook. Now I wanna talk to the author here, Nicha. What started this cookbook project to begin with?

Well, I think it started by people saying, I like this. How did you make it? And, and especially when the grandchildren grew up, I like Spending time with them. If they were over, they like to be part of baking. And, grandma, how do you make this? And and, what about that To most or whatever, something that they weren't used to. We have many different nationalities in the family, so different people make different specialties. And then I I farewell, maybe maybe I should pass it on while I still could. And 1 verse that I was thinking of was Joel 13. It talks about passing things on to your children and the children's children to the next generation. And I I take it seriously, Whether it's my legacy of history, family history, or in this case, if they are asking for it, it's my responsibility to Pass it on. Whether they'll use it or not, that's up to them. So that's where it started. And then I thought, like, last year, I started putting it together, with some pictures and surprised them at Christmas time.

And we all opened our gifts at Christmas. It's just this last year, a year ago, And everybody was thrilled to see all of mama's favorite recipes combined, and not just yours, but passed down from generation to generation. All the things that we love to eat around your table are all bound in a book. And Honestly, it created some FOMO for people that said, I want one of those. I wanna see your family pictures. Oh, that's what makes you tick, Because it has so much more than just recipes. It has your heart and soul of hospitality on it. So now we get to do this, and thanks to the generosity of yourself, If you're saying, if we do a reprint, because there was a demand for a reprint that could be given publicly, I want the proceeds or I wanted to raise awareness hospitality through Care Impact. And so I'm excited and grateful that you are giving of your recipe book to share with All of our listeners and all the people across Canada who are interested in sort of having a tool in their toolkit for hospitality, it's a great starter kit to To bring people around, and they're tried, tested, and trued by so many grandkids that, love your cooking. And we get to reprint them, and thankfully, all of the the printing costs have been donated. And, actually, Dorelin, who's a designer, she's donating her design work, and what we're inviting all our listeners into this inspiring hospitality campaign, and for a minimum donation of $25, we want to gift you this starter kit, this Inspiration, this cookbook, and I think it's a great gift idea as well. Are there some favorite recipes or Some of the content. Let's let's give our listeners a bit of an idea what they're in for.

Well, I think one of the bigger ones I'll, move over to, Alan's part, that's the smoker. It's a man thing.

Yes. I love, doing smoking for my grandkids. It's, ribs and bacon and many other things that any meat that goes on there. In fact, I'm looking forward to going shopping this afternoon, Prepare for more bacon for the grandkids for Christmas. It's an inspiration, a cookbook to be able to actually pass on and treat others.

I'd say for my part is, mama's buns. Several grandchildren have baked with me using those That recipe. And, one of the great ones also is a peanut butter rolls has been

Those are a favorite amongst our kids. Absolutely. Well, you've got soups, and my favorite would have to be the vranikka by far. It's the the Mennonite pierogies with cottage cheese in there and the shimon fat, At the cream gravy, you can't beat mamas. It's not like anybody else's. There's just so many sweets and baked goods and, like, All the things that bring family together, they're bound in a book. But what I also love and what our family and our grandkid like, your grandkids, My kids really appreciate is seeing their pictures in it of cooking with them because you you've involved them in this cooking. They're learning your bun recipes. They're learning The things that they've always enjoyed, and and you've included them into this book.

It just thrills my heart. The other day, We have the 4 grandchildren. They're ages 9 to 15, and they wanted to spend a day with us. And so Ellen picked him up in the morning, and we had breakfast with him. And then I said, what would you like to do? Well, the 13 year old says, I'd like to bake buns. A 13 year old boy. And so we made buns, and I said, what you don't eat here, you have to take home, and they were happy about that as well.

They didn't last long. I'll just tell you.

But it's just so wonderful. It very has very little to do with the the eating. It's the doing together and building family. One thing I'd like to mention also has been a thrill around our table. There was a wall plaque that Our son-in-law and and our granddaughter Ashley made, and it said, bless the food before us, the family beside us, And the love between us. And that's such a binding. It is worth so much more than, just the food that they eat.

Yeah. And and this recipe book that you've created, intentionally for your grandkids and for your children, And now being passed on publicly to others is really so much more than just ingredients on a page For sure. And say do this and you'll impress your guests. It's not about impressing. It's about being able to leverage this. This is your your fish and loaves, so to speak, to inspire, to grow Community around the table and simple recipes, but that bring great results.

And that is my biggest desire to find that they can Come and belong. And I don't think I'm that great a cook or a baker.

I beg to differ.

And nor am I Martha Stewart in in designing Our presentation

beg to differ. But

But I think it's just the fact. And when I see your family coming around the table, And that, adds to the other 20 or so in our family that they all get along no matter who they are, where they come, what age they are. That thrills my heart to see that.

And throughout the cookbook, you've included stories and quotes and things that have impacted so much more than recipes. It's it's bringing your heart of hospitality into pages that really inspire people To invite other people around their tables and to be daring to ask that neighbor, ask that stranger, Bring that person from work home for dinner. It doesn't matter if they feel out of your league or beneath Hugh, which we hate to say, but sometimes we feel uncomfortable with differences. Right? It's not about that. Can we just eat around the table? It's like it's very Jesus like. That's what he did, didn't he?

And the secret to all of this is I think I benefit more than they do.

And if I could just And the reason that we consented to, doing this cookbook even though it's mostly Anita's work was not just because we wanted you to see the recipes, But if it can inspire you to care for other people, food and things come with it almost invariably, But it begins by this the caring thing and how we will impact the world that in the community that we live in. God has called us To be hospitable people, and it has no limits and no bounds. We're all part of it.

And when I see Care Impact and and how you reach out and How across Canada, you have staff that is inspiring and that is committed, And they're dedicated and so called to do what they're doing and doing it well as a team. I just see how much You're opening your arms and your hearts to people that are less fortunate, people who haven't come from, warm homes and stuff, and I just wanna do this for you.

Thank you. And our team I have a wonderful team, And and our greatest desire is to connect and equip the whole church to journey well in community, and this is one of those things. And so A 100% of the proceeds that come in from the donations inspired by this book, but a 100% of those donations are going to fuel the efforts of connecting and equipping churches to be hospitable, to be that in their community. Imagine there's 26,000 churches across Canada and thousands upon thousands of people that would call themselves Jesus followers. Imagine if we were all equipped to be those hospitality agents of truth and reconciliation and love and creating belonging in our neighborhoods. Imagine the impact. So my prayer for this project, again, isn't just to raise our logo higher or raise your recipes higher. Although, By all means, everybody needs mama's recipes. However, my hope and desire and my vision for this project Is to rise up together and to be hospitable people, to create a a culture change of hospitality, To reject the idea of individualism, to reject the idea of you do you, I do me, but let's we do we. And and I think this is what your book really, the essence of it is doing we together in a very tangible way.

I love the we.

So for those listening interested in ordering one of those books, they should be available by November, so Perfect timing for Christmas shopping, or or just preparing for for some some holiday guests, in into, this winter. You can go on to our website at careimpact.ca, and there will be a a landing page there, careimpact.ca, And you're you're welcome to give generously, and also let us give. Let my mom give to you this cookbook in your hands. Anitja, we've been talking about, this project a lot and and inspiring others towards hospitality, And not only are you gifting this book, you are also putting out a challenge that for every Book that people are going to be giving based on donations, you are gonna be putting them into a draw. Tell us more.

I would love to cook a meal for you. I would take recipes from the recipe book and cook a meal and invite you to our place.

So every time that a donation is received, your name will go into the draw, and for those of you that aren't in Manitoba, we are Recording in Winnipeg. For those not in Manitoba, we've got you covered. You're gonna you're committed to sending a care package to the lucky winner

Right.

With some yummy baked goods.

Something recipes from my cookbook again.

Well, I'm just so grateful that we've been able to capture This conversation of hospitality, I'm just so grateful for the example that you've given and the generosity you are offering this cookbook, through Care Impact, thank you so much for both coming on to the podcast.

You are so welcome. Glad to be here.

Thank you for joining another conversation on Journey with Care. We're here to inspire curious Canadians on their path of faith and living life with purpose in community. Journey with Care is an initiative of Care Impact, a Canadian charity dedicated to connecting and equipping the whole church to journey well community. Visit our website at journey with care dot c a to connect with Care Impact, find the latest updates on our weekly episodes, details about upcoming events, meetups, and information about our incredible guests. You can also leave us a voice message, share your thoughts, And connect with like minded individuals who are on their own journeys of faith and purpose. Thank you for sharing this podcast with your friends. Together, we can explore ways to journey in a good way, and always remember to stay curious.