In this special episode host Erika Audrey takes a hilarious detour from her usual topics to share a highly requested story – the most unforgettable worst date ever.

While Clover Club typically explores a variety of subjects, some stories are just too entertaining to pass up. Join Erika and Kelly as they dive into a jaw-dropping tale involving a disastrous date, unimaginable mishaps, and an unexpected twist featuring money laundering and milk.

Erika's storytelling prowess and infectious chemistry shine as they recount this mind-boggling narrative. Get ready for laughs, gasps, and a wildly entertaining experience in "Money Laundering and Milk."

Uh, hi Kelly.

Hi, Erica.

How are you?

I'm fabulous.

How are you?

You know what I'm really good at because I spent my morning.

With somebody who I adore, Her name is Mandy.

Okay.

And she micro needled my face off.

And I can see that.

You guys can't see that, but I can see that.

So we have thought about there being a video component to this podcast.

And today is a great example of why audio only is.

Cool.

It's cool for now.

It's cool for now.

Yeah.

We'll add video to this, but I look like a monster and I can still come in here.

And record a podcast.

She doesn't look that bad.

Don't look that good.

Ah, But I fucking will.

Yeah, so true.

I'm like I saw the before and after pictures of the last

time Erica got this done.

And I now really want to get it done.

It's I wanna, this is not an ad, but it's a plug.

If you want a medical grade facial, like microneedling or

plasma, fibroblasts, anger.

You know, the big peels and lasers and stuff.

Go see my girl, Mandy at hay butterfly.

They're located in the Rose Finch spa off of Dekab, which is another.

Business that I fucking gloved.

Kelly.

You're about to go see Barbie tonight.

I am.

I'm so excited.

So I have seen Barbie.

And I hated it.

Oh, I know, but that's not a common opinion.

So I'm actually, and I don't want to say anything more than that.

I.

I have not heard anyone say that.

I know two other people that share my opinion and I'm, I'm super

curious to see you next week.

And , Tom, I.

Oh, God.

I know.

. I am very excited for Barbie.

And I will, I will report back next week.

Perfect.

So get ready, everybody.

If you also haven't seen it, you should see it in between this episode.

Next one.

So we can all talk shit.

So we don't have a guest today.

Today is another episode where it's me telling Kelly a wild story.

I'm excited.

This one's.

I really debated.

I'm going to, I'm going to be honest with y'all.

I really debated on whether or not to even make this an episode.

Because it's a story about the worst date that I've ever been on.

But I also think like this is not a podcast about any of our dating lives.

Like I think talking about that is the most boring thing

that a woman can do, honestly.

And there's a million other good podcasts that get into dating in 2023.

But this story is just so insane that it kind of supersedes the topic.

And, it's been requested a lot, so I was like, let's just

fucking get it out of the way.

And the timing of it's kind of interesting because a.

I don't know how into astrology you are, but it's Venus retrograde.

It's been Venus retrograde for the last couple of weeks.

Okay.

I don't know the difference between.

Mercury and Venus ratchet.

Great.

So to be clear, I'm not super savvy with the staff.

I just have a little app that tells me.

Cliff's notes of stuff.

I don't even have an app.

So you're one step one app ahead.

But I do notice things matching up with what these apps say, like, Hey.

That's alignment of things you can expect X, Y, and Z to happen.

So one of the things with Venus retrograde is relationships shifting relationships.

And Dean relationships like people coming back from your past.

So it's kind of just this.

It's not a good time to start something new herd.

, but in the past, in the past, two months I have had, I swear, like every

guy I've ever dated has come back, I've been getting so many random texts and

phone calls and Instagram messages from motherfuckers that I forgot existed.

And I hear this, I hope.

, it's hilarious.

So I was like, okay, this is just kind of a funny time with all

of these people popping back up.

It seems like a amusing time to tell this story.

Yeah.

Before we get into the story though.

All of us have been on bad dates, right?

Yeah.

And there's a spectrum of bad.

There's like, ah, we didn't connect, but they're nice enough.

Wish you all the best.

And then there's , The time I went out with somebody who was so nervous.

He had a paper napkin in his hands and he shredded it into fucking confetti.

Oh my God.

I'm just like sitting across the table.

Like bro, I've been there.

I've been there.

You've sh confetti.

No.

I haven't.

Someone has with me really?

Yeah.

Same story.

Once I had dinner with a man.

And when the check came, he reached into his pocket to grab his wallet.

Yeah.

And something fell out of his pocket onto the floor.

And I get here under the table.

It had fallen towards me.

And so I looked under the table.

You know, see if I could return it to him.

And I saw his hands, quickly pick something up and I

was like, what the fuck?

And so I . Pop back up.

And I was like, what, what was that?

Yeah.

And he paused and he was like, well, Those were my teeth.

Ah, Cool.

Uh, why were they in your view, sir?

. So he had what I guess is called a flipper.

And so, because the front of his grill was , not.

Yeah.

It's like.

That's totally fine.

Yes, but like just the context of that.

Yes.

Is so alarming.

Yeah.

Yes, correct.

I thought you were going to say it was like drugs or something.

Loved that.

What do we have here?

Oh, Dentures dentures.

So now that we've got those pallet cleansers out of the

way, let's just get into it.

This is money laundering and milk.

My worst day ever.

Let me kick this off by saying, if you went on a date with me last December

and you think there's even a chance that this episode is about you.

Stop listening.

Your feelings are going to get hurt.

Oh, no.

And I really debated on whether or not to share this story.

Yeah.

Because I don't want to be, I'm not trying to talk shit, but it's just

like, so fucking bad that it's in.

So wildly entertaining.

Yeah.

I just, I just have to share it.

It's I'm so excited to get.

All right.

So this story started, Six years ago.

Okay.

I went to test drive.

My dream car.

And, uh, I met this very charismatic sales associate that we're going to call Colin.

Aren't they all he was, I mean, he's handsome.

He's just the ultimate salesman.

Yeah.

And so we really hit it off, but also I'm like, you're trying to

sell me a very expensive vehicle.

Like of course you're charming.

I know totally.

What's happening here, right?

Yeah.

So, uh, we have a lovely test drive.

Ultimately I'm like, I cannot afford this thing for your time.

, and then I, uh, a couple months later kind of changed.

I had been looking at an SUV and then I was like, actually I want the convertible.

And so I emailed him because of course we exchanged information and I was

like, Hey, I'm actually thinking, I want to get into this car instead.

Can I come back up and can we test these?

And he's like, Of course, like, I would love to, he's like come up on Monday.

We can drive whatever you want.

And I was like, yeah, cool.

So I go up on Monday and we test drive all sorts of.

Really amazing cars.

That he knew I cannot aboard.

It was just fun and I guess it was a slow day for them.

So we just have this like lovely day.

And so it gets to be lunchtime and he's like, are you hungry?

And I was like, I mean I could eat and he's like, can I take you to lunch?

And I was like, um, yes, but it isn't going to make me buy this car.

And he was like, no.

I don't care.

, so we like have lunch and just like fun.

Nothing happens.

Ultimately again too.

I was like, I can't afford this car.

Um, thank you for your time, sir.

And I left.

So maybe a couple of months after that I find, I knew the car I wanted.

I knew what my budget was.

I knew the spec that I wanted.

And I knew that I was in no rush because this was going to be a second car for me.

Yeah, just an absolute treat for myself.

Yeah.

And so finally I found on like room.com my exact car.

The right color, the right spec.

I mean, every detail at the right price.

And I was like, oh my God.

And I was actually in Chicago at the time sitting at the bar at Blackbird.

And if you know, Blackboard in Chicago, then you definitely

know they're on dive salad.

So I'm sitting there.

The on dive salad at Blackbird in Chicago, which unfortunately it was a

casualty of COVID, which makes me so sad.

Loved that place.

, awful, awful, but I find it and Wal sitting at the bar, just on my

phone, I buy my dream car and I'm just like, what a fucking afternoon?

This has been.

Yeah.

So I buy this car.

And it had some issues.

And so I hit up Collin and I'm like, Hey, I ended up buying

this car, but not from you.

And I'm having some issues with it.

, can you help?

Like, do you remember me?

And he was like, goddamn, like, of course.

So this is the backstory of like I've interacted with this man,

three times in my entire life.

six years ago.

So we became friendly on social media.

We each have had been in and out of relationships over the years since we'd

met and we'd flirt a little bit here and there, but it never went anywhere.

Never wanted it to.

And then he ended up moving out of state.

Okay.

, but again, friends on social media and stuff like that.

So.

Kind of had an idea of what was going on with each other's lives.

So last December I had just stopped seeing this guy that I really liked.

And I had just gotten back from a trip to Italy and I kind of like, all of this had

happened all at once and it was like kind of sad., and I'd posted some like cute

picture of myself from my trip to Italy.

And here comes Collin sliding into my DMS.

And he's like, when are you going to come visit?

As they always do, as they always do.

Um, so I was like, what are you going to buy my ticket?

So this motherfucker hits me back with a front and back

picture of his platinum Amex.

And he says you buy the ticket.

And I was like, Oh, like I was kidding.

That is trustworthy for one thing.

Trustworthy.

And I was like, this is dumb.

Like I go straight to Gucci.

Yeah.

I was just like, you know what?

I deserve this.

I need , just a fun time, this guy, and I have good chemistry.

We get along really well.

A fun date.

And like I said, he lives out of town.

So this would be like I'm flying there for an overnight date and there's no.

Let's be clear.

We both knew what the pretext was.

Right.

I'm an adult.

He's an adult.

Okay.

Right.

So I get onto Delta's websites and this is, I don't want to say where he's

from, but it's a coastal Southern town.

And the flight from Atlanta would have been, you know, not

even an hour, I don't think.

and so I pull up flights and again, this is like, A couple

of weekends before Christmas.

And a coach ticket was 700 something dollars.

And I was like, Jesus Christ.

, so I hit him up and I was like, Hey, I appreciate the offer.

But tickets are astronomical right now, but maybe another weekend.

And he says, well, how much are they?

And I was like, they're $700.

And he was like, damn.

He was like, how much is first-class?

So , I pull it up and it's like a thousand bucks and I was like,

oh, it's a thousand dollars.

And he was like, oh, just buy that.

Oh my God.

I was like, Yes, that's the correct answer.

Just by that.

And I'm like, you know what?

I will.

And so I type in this credit card number I buy my first class.

Short as fuck flight.

And I packed my little suitcase and to me.

Coming up the Sunday, this was all happening, let's say on a Monday.

And it was like the next Sunday.

And I was just like, fuck it.

That's amazing.

Let's.

Right.

Yeah, of course.

And so we like talk a little bit throughout the week leading up to

it, but , not much, honestly, it's just like, this is fucking crazy.

Actually both.

Kind of excited.

That's coming.

Yeah, sure.

, I'm like, we know we're both , Sociable and fun, what could go wrong?

, I just want to be treated well for like 24 hours and just kind of hit,

reset on my dating canvas, right.

That.

That was your first mistake.

So Sunday rolls around.

Pack my bag.

I go to the airport.

Hop on this flight.

I get there.

This motherfucker rolls up like 30 minutes late.

So I'm just outside, like dude to do like.

Like waiting and I'm just like, he's coming, right?

Like how embarrassing?

Oh my God.

Yeah.

, but then I see coming around the corner, this beautiful,

bright blue, $200,000 car.

Top-down.

Scott pulling up to the arrivals.

And here he is.

And I was just like, man, rich.

Rich.

and I'm like, oh my God, this is a lot.

And everyone's staring at us, like, is this a celebrity?

Like it's a flashy car.

Wow.

It's also one of my dream cars.

That's why I'm just like I mentioned, like I genuinely am a car person.

It's not because it's fancy.

It's like, I appreciate the Engineering behind it.

You know what I mean?

So I'm just saying.

This is so exciting.

Did you know he drove that car?

I did know he drove that car or at least I knew, I knew when he had gotten that

car, I assumed it's still the car he was driving, but the car dude's like always.

Which it up.

, but yeah, so he rolls into this car, gives me a big hug, grabs

my suitcase, opens my car door.

, I get in and he's like, let's fucking go.

And I'm like, okay.

Sounds fun.

Yeah.

And immediately very comfortable.

Like it wasn't weird.

Yeah.

, which I feel like is noteworthy because again, like I haven't

seen this motherfucker.

Six years.

Vibes are a huge thing.

Like if it's an instant.

Okay.

This is cool.

That's really good.

Yeah.

I thought the same thing.

So we pull out of the airport and he looks at me and he's

like, so little change of plan.

I'm like, oh, well ready.

And he says I'm babysitting.

My friend's dog.

Oh my God.

I thought you were going to say a child.

I was like, I.

Would throw up.

I'd be like, stop the car right now.

I will walk back to Atlanta.

So a dog, so it dog.

It's a dog.

Yeah.

So I was like, oh, and I was like, oh, it's totally fine.

, I love dogs.

It's actually an upgrade to my evening.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So he's like she's a Pomeranian.

And she's kind of aggressive.

And we'll call her Zoe.

Okay.

And I was like, nah, I'm not worried about it.

I have big dogs and , I've been through training, like I'm dog, dog.

Yeah.

I'm a, I'm a , I know what's up with dogs.

It's just like, I'm not sweating best.

Yeah.

It's like, so he takes me on the long drive back to his place and he

drives like such a fucking asshole.

He drives like the person who drives that car.

You know what I mean?

Celebrating to red lights revving the engine.

Generally ridiculous.

Oh my God.

But also I like.

I'm smiling so much because it is so fun.

Yeah.

I'm just like, okay.

Chauffeured around this like beautiful little town by a

handsome man in a fancy car.

I've had worse afternoon.

Yeah.

Definitely.

Several.

So we get to his place and his place is beautiful.

Like he lives in this gorgeous building in a great part of town.

Everything's just nice.

Yeah.

And you know, he opens my door, like he's a Southern gentleman, so he's, he's

doing all of those things correctly.

so we walk into his place is calm down.

And immediately I noticed he didn't clean.

Okay.

How do you mean like dishes in the sink?

Stuff piled up on the kitchen island.

Oh, laundry on the floor, just looks like a dude.

There and wasn't expecting company, but if like a girl's coming.

No, I know.

And I was just like, what the fuck?

And I want to say like, I'm in my mid thirties, he's almost 50, if not 50.

So he's a, uh, not a good chunk old with me, but he is older than, yeah.

And certainly old enough to , have you shared together?

Yes.

And that's like, you can't predict that by being like, we

have good chemistry on Instagram.

Like that doesn't mean that he knows.

So that's red flag, number one, that's red flag, number one.

And it wasn't a deal breaker, but it was just like, okay, . Yeah.

And then he did say like, oh, I was going to have my housekeeper come, but it's just

been a crazy week and dah, dah, dah, and.

I was like, yeah.

Okay.

So then Zoe, the dog.

Comes and she sees me and loses her fucking mind.

And she's just like, yeah.

and just like losing it and I'm like, okay, I'm going to let her

get the bark out of her system.

I'm going.

Let her see that like I'm a safe person and so we, we hang out at

his place for 30 ish minutes.

And in that timeframe, Zoe, doesn't calm down.

Like she sucks.

And then I was just like, oh, doggy, Xanax.

Yeah.

She needs to smoke a joint, like.

Sucked.

, so his warning was valid.

She was not a good dog.

, but she loved him.

Yeah.

And so I'm like, okay, you have it in, you.

so I was just like, it's just, I'm a new person.

I'm not sweating.

Another good sign.

If a dog likes a person.

That's a really good sign.

Oh, I agree.

If I date somebody that my dogs don't like, you're done.

So Zoe is just not chilling and he's like, see what I mean?

And I'm like, yeah, I do.

And he's like, all right, well, like let's, you know, put your

stuff down, let's do this.

, let's go get some drinks, let's go out.

And I was like, okay, great, perfect.

And one thing that I had said to him, before I bought my ticket

was , I really want some good oysters and just good seats.

And.

It's a sea town, right?

Yes.

Exactly.

And so he was just like, I got you.

I'll make a dinner reservation.

And I was like, perfect.

So in my mind, at some point that evening, we have a nice

presumably dinner reservation.

So I'm pretty chill.

I'm just open for whatever.

Like, let's just see what this guy has in store.

Yeah.

So we go back out to his car.

Take the top down, how go out on the town?

He gets a phone call and so he spends the car ride on the

phone we're going to deal.

Okay.

Rolex flashing in the light.

Like, I feel like a slut.

Like this guy, I am like an accessory.

This man this evening.

Yeah.

I'm like, there's all these little things and I'm not used to that.

Yeah, that's a feeling for sure.

That's a specific.

Vigorous specific.

Usually, there's not that big of an income discrepancy with people.

I date.

and it was just kind of interesting observing these micro differences and

how I was treated and that will be a theme for the rest of the evening.

Interesting.

So I'm just sitting there obviously not a priority, right.

So he says, we're about to pull up to the first stop.

I'm gonna take you to the sports bar.

And I was like, oh, Um, Um,

so one thing to know about me is I don't fuck with sports.

Yeah.

I just don't care.

I don't care if you like them.

I think that's fine, but I don't, I think a football field.

It's a modern plantation.

Like, I am literally the worst woman to take to a sporting event.

I've been offered box seats at very sought after games, by

friends and clients and stuff.

And I literally am like, no, it's a waste.

And I know that , I just give it to somebody who cares.

Like I don't care.

So that's so.

Interesting.

How deep your hatred goes.

I mean, it's just , I care so little about it that I don't even hate it.

I guess.

I just like, I'm just like, this is just not part of my life and I

certainly wouldn't never choose to fly out of town to observe a sport.

, so we parked this car.

We'd go into the sports bar and we grab a seat at the bar.

There's multiple football games happening all at once.

, we order cocktails.

And the cocktails good.

No, because it's like a glorified taco Mac.

My go-to drink is an Americano, which is Campari, vermouth, and soda.

And so I ordered an Americano and they're like, oh, we don't do coffee.

And I was like, oh my God.

That's cool.

, I just want a cocktail and I saw the ingredients behind them and

I was like, just campfire for me.

Some soda.

. Oh, my.

Ordered a double crown and diet Coke.

Sick.

so again, I think there were three football games going on at this time.

So we get our drinks and he's like, all right, babe.

Red flag number 47.

Don't fucking call me babe.

You don't know me like that.

So he was like, yeah.

Alright.

It was like in a weird tone.

It wasn't like a.

Like sweet, babe.

It was like, it's not a sweet.

All right.

Babe.

All right, baby.

Sugar tits.

Yeah.

Sounded like he said sugar tits when he said, babe.

Yeah.

That's a red flag that the red lab.

So he's like, all right, babe.

So I got 500 riding on this game.

I got two 50 riding on this game and I got 150 writing of this

game and I was like dollars.

Ah, and he's like, yeah.

And all of a sudden I was like, oh fuck.

A thousand dollar plane ticket is significantly less flattering when he will

blow the same amount of money casually on an afternoon of sports betting.

And I was like, oh no.

Oh no.

Oh no.

I have made a critical error and now I'm stuck.

Is he like a gambling addict?

So.

He pulls out his phone.

And , he has like a literal bookie with this proprietary, app software that

keeps track of all of his bets and that season he was down like over $10,000.

So the answer is, yes, that is red flag number by yes.

Absolute gambling addict.

Genuinely a problem.

Oh, Yeah.

And I was like, oh, gross.

, I could see gambling on, like, who do you think is going to like

get to be the CEO at the end of succession, are you kidding me?

Thousands of blank, multiple.

Yeah.

Look all at once.

No wonder he cared so much about going to the sports bar.

But also like, So, like, I can't even imagine being you in this situation.

I would be so utterly shocked by this.

I was like, I don't think I would have any words.

I think I would just be sitting there with my WAC Americano being

like, it was like, what the fuck is.

Yeah, it was really like in this moment, I was like, okay, today isn't going

to go the way that you thought it was.

And you don't have really any say over how it goes, so let's

just be in it for the storyline.

So I had a very important mental shift to sitting at this bar.

Thank God.

I, it was all I could do, right.

It's like, you're just in it for them, for the content.

Be clear, you felt safe with him.

And that time I did, like you were like at that phase of the day, I

still feel like I can be around.

Like, it's not that.

Yes.

Okay.

I wasn't like, this is a bad person, but I was like, yeah, he's not the type of

person I ever spend time with or whatever.

Spend time with again.

But I wasn't like this as a bad person, but I was like

this, it feels a little icky.

I am uncomfortable, but not unsafe.

Right.

If that makes sense.

Just to clarify.

So, uh, we're there for a couple hours he's pounding,

double crown and diet Cokes.

And I am.

Nursing like one cocktail.

, and I'm not a big drinker anyways, but red flag number six.

Red flag number sense.

So finally, all of these games.

And, and he loses all of them.

Oh, and I'm watching his mood steadily decline.

While he's losing this money and I'm like, oh, no, the sucks.

So the check comes, he pays it.

And he's like, all right, the sun's about to set.

I want to drive you under this, like well-known bridge in the city.

It's a really pretty view.

, so let's go do that.

Okay.

That's kind of sweet.

I agree.

And also his mood is okay.

His mood was okay.

I could sense it shifting, but it was okay.

He was enthusiastic about the bridge drive.

I feel sweet.

I agree.

But that being said, I just watched this homie drink so many drinks that I'm

like, should I be in the car with him?

You know what I mean?

Oh, shit.

I forgot about that.

And he drives like sober.

He drives like an asshole.

What happened after all of your crown?

So I was just like, okay, everything's going to be fine.

That's so it's so scary.

He pays the check.

We go outside, we got back to his beautiful car.

We get in.

He takes the top down before we put it in drive, he says, but first my nicotine fix.

And I was like, oh, I was like, is he going to smoke in a car that

costs more than most people's houses?

Like this is horrifying.

And I was like, yeah, he smoked.

What the fuck.

Yeah.

And then he takes out a can of dip.

Oh, red flag number seven.

Yeah.

Yup.

Yup.

Kelly literally has a whiteboard here and she's documenting the red flags.

I hate dip, but I know it's disgusting.

So.

Where are you?

Chipper Jones in the nineties?

Because it's not, you can't adapt like sick also, like.

Oh, just how it like hangs out there.

And then also like kissing that after like, ah, Yeah.

I completely agree.

And we we'd like kissed a little bit at the bar already.

So it's like the seal had been broken on that.

And I was like, I looked at him and I was like, oh my God.

I said, please don't do that.

And he was like, I really don't want to hear it.

Oh, yeah.

And I was like, I don't want to kiss you again, if you do that.

And he was like, okay.

And like pops it in his house.

Yeah.

I was just like, oh my God.

So I'm like, alright.

Alright.

Alright.

Alright.

Alright.

Like you just, okay.

Cool.

Cool.

Cool, cool.

Cool.

So we back up, we head towards the bridge.

and we drive under this bridge.

And I will say the bridge was pretty and it was a lovely evening.

And like a December in a Southern coastal town is lovely.

But also like after somebody said the words.

Don't want to hear it.

To me, I would not give a fuck about this bridge.

I would be like, aye.

Uh, oh, Oh my God.

Yeah, no.

It was jarring to hear disrespectful.

It's alarming.

I completely agree with you.

I completely agree with you.

So he's dipping.

Oh my God.

And dry dipping and dry, like.

Like mad.

I know I was too.

I was, I was, I was mad and like, oh my God, how is this real?

Like, how does this kid.

Worse and worse.

So, uh, You know what.

I told the story to a client of mine who used to play baseball.

And he used to dip when he played baseball and he was like, where do you

even put a dip cup in that sports car?

And I was like, there wasn't one.

And then I paused and realized that meant he was swallowing.

It.

Oh,

Like it's so gross.

Okay.

Yeah.

So he's dipping in swallowing.

We drive over the bridge and then he does kind of a U-turn and takes me

back onto like the normal part of town.

And he's like, all right, now I'm going to take you to one

of my favorite go-to spots.

And I'm like, okay, maybe it's like a martini bar and something.

I doubt it.

Velvet.

I doubt it.

Velvet.

We pull up to this establishment.

It has no windows and stainless steel doors.

And I said, this looks like a strip club and he said it is, oh, oh my God.

, but oh my.

And like, I'm not hating on strip clubs, but , just to be

perfectly clear, it's 6:04 PM.

Oh, my God.

And it's his favorite place?

His favorite place.

That's red flag number nine.

Yes, it is.

So we walk into this club.

And multiple staff members.

See him and say,

And I was like, He's on a first name basis with a staff year.

Like what the fuck?

And so I was like, well, at least.

There won't be sports, but we turn a corner to the bar and it's just

this line of sad men sitting at the strip club bar at six, 12:00

PM on a Sunday watching football.

And I was like, no.

And I go, what guess what?

He's gambling on these games too.

And so he starts hitting it up with the guy next to him.

Oh, yeah, they're talking about sports.

I order, , like a tequila and soda.

I'm like, I need something stronger.

You are not his priority.

Correct.

. I was I'd feel so.

Like small.

It's so gross.

I have never felt so small.

So gross.

Which is not like, no, you did not deserve that.

Obviously.

No one deserves to feel that way.

No one does.

, it was, it was horrible.

So I sat there, I indulged this and he was like one drink, one drink.

And I was like, okay.

, The music that they're playing is like, look, Nelly.

The worst.

And with a straight face, he looked over at me and he was like, I just, I come

here cause like I really liked the music.

I was like, cool.

You should not tell people that that's apparently.

No.

So the fact that he said just one drink means like he knows you don't like it.

Correct.

Exactly.

Literally, no.

What I want to be there.

Yes, no woman wants to be taken there on a first and last date.

, So, again, I.

Endure the strip club we have wondering.

Um, so.

, he has really hit it off with the guy next to him and I, as much as

I'm hating this, I'm being polite.

I'm being polite to the people around me.

I'm being polite to the bartender.

Like I'm not going to be a bitch.

Right.

, I dunno, I would start being.

Fish.

I'd be not to the other people, but definitely to him, I'd

start being like pretty bitchy.

In my mind, I was like, I am.

Have to sleep in this town tonight.

So how long of a leash do I give this guy?

Right.

So that was kind of it running in the background.

But the guy sitting next to him, he was like, hi, I really like y'all's vibe.

Let me buy us around a fireball.

And I was like, oh, and I was like, that will not be necessary, but thank you.

And Colin was like, come on, babe.

Let's take some shots.

And I was like, oh no, it's like, You're both crews.

So I was like, okay.

Then I'm doing shots of fireball.

At a strip club at like 6 34 on a Sunday.

, Oh, my God, I can't believe this is still in the six o'clock hour.

That's like the worst part.

There weren't any strippers there.

Like, I didn't mention that yet.

No one was even at work yet.

There was a bartender and fishnets and glasses and a crop top, but

they weren't even actually open.

It was just like dudes using it as like a glorified taco

Mac to watch fucking football.

It was so lame.

Oh my God.

Yeah, also, if you're going to take me to a strip club,

take me to a fucking good one.

I mean, I love a strip club.

C it's like the strip clubs, not the issue.

It's the context.

Yeah, it is.

The context.

Yes.

So I've had my shot of fireball, had my cocktail and the check comes.

He pays and he's like, all right, like, let's go back to my place

and let's get ready for dinner.

. And I was like, what time is our reservation?

And he was like, oh, I didn't make one.

Oh, okay.

I was like, you mentioned this like one place that had like really good oysters.

And he was like, yeah, we can just go sit at the bar.

And I was like, oh, okay, cool.

So I would have been like, I want to table.

I really wanted a table.

I really prefer a table.

There's just something about a table that makes you feel like you're on a date.

, but again, nothing about this date was normal.

So of course that part wasn't normal.

So we get in his car.

And again, this motherfucker has been drinking double crown

and diet Cokes all night.

Like, how many has he had up until now?

Probably six or seven or eight, like a wow.

I shouldn't have gotten in the car with him.

He didn't seem drunk, but just anybody who's had that

much is under the influence.

You know, a thousand percent.

That's so insane.

It.

Made me uncomfortable, but again, I was just like, oh fuck.

, I'm going to say that's red flag.

Number 11 is drives drunk, drinking and driving big red flag.

, we go back to his house.

We opened the door and Zoe is pounced and ready to attack.

, she's just as angry, if not angrier than when we first got there.

And I'm like, damn, this dog.

So, uh, we . Start getting ready to go to dinner.

And, um, we like sit down on his couch.

So he's sitting on his couch next to Zoe and I kind of sit down on the arm of the

couch and Zoe is in between us and he's petting Zoe and I'm just like calmly

sitting there letting her come down and she's, at this point she stopped barking.

She's like letting Collin pet her and I'm like, okay, this is a good sign

because I do have to sleep here tonight.

At least she's coming down.

So I start petting her too, and she lets me and I was like, yes.

And I love dogs.

Like I want this dog to.

My eviction.

Yeah.

So I'm petting her.

He's petting her.

Everything's fine.

And he was like, Ooh, okay, good.

And he was like, I'm going to go to the bathroom real quick.

And I was like, okay.

So he gets up.

As soon as he's out of eyesight.

Zoe goes rogue and bites me.

Oh, she like a clamps onto my thumb.

Like a fucking.

Rocca dial and starts shaking.

I'm gushing blood.

Oh, I scream.

He runs out of the bathroom and he's like, what's wrong?

What's wrong?

And I was like, So we bit me and he was like, what the fuck?

And , he's drunk, he's lost every game he's gambled on his mood.

Isn't.

Okay.

, and so he starts yelling at Zoey and I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

And I was like, I pushed her boundaries.

She showed me.

And like, I pushed it, please don't yell at her.

That's not going to make anything better, but I do need a bandaid.

Do you have a first day of camp?

He was like, oh, yo.

So I'm at the sink, running water over my bloody thumb.

, And holding it with paper towels that are being soaked through

with like bright red blood.

Wow.

And so he brings me a bandaid and I'm, you know, like mending my hand.

, and he looks at Zoe and he's like, you know what?

Fuck this.

We're getting a hotel room and I was like,

Like that escalated quickly.

Yeah.

What, so I was like, just keep her in a different room.

Like it's not a big deal.

I put her in the laundry room, put her in like, yeah.

There's solutions to this, so he calls up.

Essentially the equivalent of like the local.

Ritz-Carlton very nice.

Yeah, that's good.

That is good.

, so we'll say Ashley answers the phone.

And he named drops that the owner's a good friend and client of his,

and that he stayed there before.

And he's like, I'm a, I'm a local.

And I live up the street and I've got a plumbing issue.

I was wondering if you had any last minute rooms available and any special

rates that you could extend to me with all of that taken into consideration.

Oh my God.

And if there's one thing I hate, it's a name drop.

I, it makes me so uncomfortable.

I think it's icky.

, and certainly in this context, Like, are you a baller or are you not a baller?

. Like come on all.

Write that.

As a red flag, namedrop red flag.

So she's like, oh my gosh.

Yes.

, of course we can accommodate you.

, just come on down as soon as you can.

And we'll finish the reservation in person.

And so he's like, okay, great.

Thank you, Ashley.

We'll see you shortly.

So he's like, all right, babe, grab your shit.

We're fucking out of here.

And I will say, I was like, what about Zoe?

And he was like, she'll be fine.

So her parents suck, which is why she sacks, but she's left

home for longer periods of time than I would ever leave a dog.

And she's potty pad trained.

So she's used.

Used to being left on her own overnight like this.

Okay.

And I was like, you know what?

I wouldn't leave my dogs for the amount of time that we're about to, but my

dogs aren't potty trained and yeah, I think Zoe would be more stressed with

me here than not also, at least she has a place to like relieve herself.

I feel like that's a big.

That's huge deal.

Yeah.

So he filled up her food bowl,

filled up her water bowl and like made sure she had everything she needed.

And so I was like, okay, is it bad?

I'm like, that's so good.

Like he's giving a green flag now.

It's because it's the bare minimum.

Because of how bad it's been.

I'm like, oh, that's, that's good.

That's a good thing.

It's like, No that's fucking normal minimum.

Exactly.

Also if my friend was watching my pet and left my pet so that he could

go shack up with some woman at a hotel, I would be besides myself to.

What the fuck.

Me too.

I really would be.

Yeah.

So that just showed me so many things about his character.

, so I gathered my things and we go back out to his car and we

drive to this beautiful hotel.

And we pull up to the ballet and they're just schmoozing the fuck out of him

because he's obviously wealthy because we're pulling up in this fancy car

and the valets are just like, Ooh, And I'm being treated like I don't exist.

, which again is the FEMA.

The night and it's just the weirdest thing for me.

So we walk into the hotel, it's decked out for Christmas

and it's absolutely beautiful.

And I was like, all right, this, this is not, this is not a downgrade.

Yeah.

So we walk up to the front desk and he's like, Hey Ashley, call-in

we spoke earlier, so happy you can accommodate us, dah, dah, dah.

And she's like, oh, like, so sorry to hear about your plumbing issue.

We're going to get you all taken care of Mr.

Fill-in-the-blank.

And so she's like, you mentioned, you stayed with us before, what

number would your profile be under?

And so he gives her a phone number and she's like, oh, it's not

working because they're another one.

So he's going through all of these different phone numbers and they're , not

coming up, not coming up, not coming up.

And then finally.

Weird one comes up and she looks me dead in the eyes and she was like,

oh my God, you must be Stephanie.

And I said, I am tonight.

It was so awkward and it's Stephanie.

Last bitch that he took there, like what the fuck?

And he just kind of like smirks and I'm just like, this is so weird.

And so it's taking a while for them to get things set up.

Oh, like he's standing there with his credit card and I was just like,

I'm not needed in this transaction.

And I'm Always in the role of the person who's handling the reservation

because normally I'm traveling alone.

Yeah.

I am my favorite person in trouble with.

And so it was just , I felt like a little kid, like with my

parent, you know what I mean?

So I was just like looking at all the pretty Christmas things.

I'm letting him handle stuff.

And so we're.

Yeah.

And he did ask, he was like, , can I get like late checkout for her tomorrow?

Because my flight was like the next night.

Yeah.

I feel like, of course , so I get my own key, whatever.

Yeah.

So we go up to the room and it's beautiful.

It's a suite, it's overlooking this park.

That's like twinkly lights for Christmas.

And I'm like, okay, this is not awful.

, He turns on football.

The second we walk into the room, football is on and I'm just like, oh, hi.

Of course not.

Obviously and jokingly, I was like, are you betting on this one too?

And he was like, you know that I am.

And I was like, oh, Okay.

Good luck.

, so he's, you know, watching football, I'm kind of putting my toothbrush by

the sink and just like doing the girl stuff and I get ready for dinner.

And then he's like, all right, like ready to go.

And I was like, And so we go downstairs and, he gives the valet

his ticket and he's like, oh, where are you taking her for dinner?

And he says, oh, I'm taking her to de.

And, uh, the valet looks at him kind of weird and he's like, oh, he's

like, you're, you're going to drive.

And he was like, yo, don't feel like walking.

And the valley is like, all right.

Yes, sir.

It'll be right around.

And so they pulled the car around.

I get in.

Yeah.

Well, he tried to blocks.

The street.

You can see the front door of the restaurant from the

front door of the hotel.

So weird.

This fucking bitch just wanted people to see him rolling up in his car.

So red flag.

Total red flag.

And I'm just like, so turned off at this point.

that I can't handle it, but again, I'm just like, I'm, I'm in it for

the night, but at least I'm thinking , okay, this is like a nice restaurant.

So I'm like, at least there's not going to be , TV's like.

Every other place you've been to.

No.

We're not going to have any football.

We can at least talk and.

And I want to, I do want to say it's not like in between all these

horrifying moments of the story, we aren't having pleasant conversation.

Like we are getting along, but it's just all of these things also happening.

'cause like that helps to know why you kind of stuck around to.

For sure.

All that bad.

It was still having nice conversation and like, he is charming and funny, like.

That's part of the, you know what I mean?

Yeah.

So we walk in, we grab a seat at the bar.

Beautiful restaurant.

, we ordered drinks.

He takes out his phone.

Opens his Hulu app.

No turns on the football game.

With.

Volume.

At this nice restaurant at this nice restaurant at the bar, props his

phone up against this water glass.

And I looked at him and I said, you are joking.

And he was like, babe, I got money riding on this.

And I was just like, is the volume necessary?

And he was like, I mean, I can turn it down a little bit.

And I was just like, Oh my God.

I am a little miss etiquette.

I'd be really embarrassed by that.

I'd be really embarrassed.

And especially to be like, dude, for real and for him to be like, yeah, for real.

You know what I mean?

And I was just like, okay.

Okay.

Yeah.

I like to call them out.

And then for him to be like, I don't give a fuck what you think literally.

I was doing it literally fuck off.

Yes, it's disgusting.

It was horrible.

So we would have drinks.

We order food, we ordered like a bunch of stuff to just share.

I thought everything was good.

It's not their best meal I've ever had in my life.

But if everything was solid, like it was exactly what I would've expected.

He complained about every dish we ordered.

And I was just like, dude, was it good?

Or was it like, it was good.

And I'm critical as fuck.

if I'm saying this meal was good, this meal was he.

Complaining.

I know he probably doesn't have any fucking tastebuds cause he

dips all the time and his palette is probably that of a child.

, that's a red flag.

That's a red book.

, so yeah, so I'm just having the worst meal ever.

So we finish our entrees and he's like, I need some fucking dessert.

And I was like, okay, like, I'm sure they have some.

. So we checked out the dessert menu.

And he orders a new tele pudding.

Cool.

I love Nutella.

I love pudding.

Fine choice.

And then he says to the bartender.

Do y'all have any milk.

Excuse me.

Do y'all have any milk.

For what.

Exactly.

She blinks blankly at him.

Like, did this man just ask me this.

And she goes, To drink.

And he was like, yeah, I fucking love milk.

Oh, my God.

What the fuck did she say?

I would have laughed.

I would have, I would have.

She bikes.

She was very amused by it.

She was like, I mean, I guess like we have glasses and we have milk,

I suppose I could combine the two.

That's a bad flag.

Red flag.

That's a huge, that's a serial killer.

You're ordering milk at a bar.

Oh, And a nice ass bar, like.

Nice that's bar, but you're going to wash down your new tele pudding with milk.

So let's just circle back to the fact that he's like sucking down

dip like a couple hours beforehand.

So he felt acidic dip, stomach, and he's been like belching and being gross.

And then he's like belching.

Yes.

And I'm writing that one.

So gross.

So he orders milk and pudding, and I'm just like, I'm dying tonight.

Like this is it.

Like, this is, this is how it ends.

, , at least that oyster slider was delicious, like rip to me.

So.

We have, we have some pudding.

I have like two bites of the pudding and he just like devours it.

It's fine.

My appetite not thriving at this point.

, and then the bartender comes back and he was like, Hey, uh, if you were

going to go somewhere else to watch the rest of the game, where would you go?

And I said, no, what?

And he, like, they both look at me and I was just like, go.

I was like, no, no, I snapped.

And I was just like, we have spent our entire day.

Hopping around from football game to football game.

I have been as calm about this as I possibly can.

I do not want to go Kel.

Yeah.

Like we had been drinking all day long.

You do not need to keep drinking.

You are driving.

I am drunk.

I am like we have a beautiful hotel room.

Like, no, I'm no good.

Yes.

So the bartender was like, oh, I'll be back on the truck.

The check comes, he leans over, hold it like in front of my face.

And he goes, what's that say no?

And I was like, Three 14.

And he was like, oh, okay.

And I was like, thank you.

I knew that's what he wanted.

I wanted him to see, like, this is how much I'm spending on you, bitch.

Like I want you to know.

And so I was just like,

What a literal piece of trash.

I know it made me feel so gross.

And at that point, I was like, I don't afford my own dinner.

I can afford to split.

It's like, I'd be like, let me buy it then.

We'll let me buy it.

I almost did.

And then I was just like, no, I'm now I know.

I'm not taking the high road.

Like in.

This exact moment.

You can buy me dinner.

, And also it's three 14 because you've been pounding milks, like.

. So anyways, he pays the check.

We go outside.

And we get into his car and drive the one second back to our hotel room.

And we get in the elevator to go up to her room.

So we're in the elevator and he was like, all right, babe.

So here's the plan.

I've got to go to work early tomorrow morning.

So I'm gonna, , leave you my car keys and I'm an Uber to work.

And then you can just have my car for the day and then just park it

at my place, an Uber to the airport and all Uber home, , is that cool?

And I was like, Oh, fuck.

Yeah, it is.

So then all of a sudden, Everything's fine.

You get to drive the car.

Yeah.

That's all I wanted and I, and I get to drive the car without him in it.

It's just like fucking upgrade.

That's funny then all of a sudden I was like, all right, you got this.

All you have to do is survive until the morning.

And you have like a fun day tomorrow.

So we get back into the room.

And, uh, I mean, he is drunk.

Let's be clear.

Yeah.

He like opens up every little snack in the mini bar.

This motherfuckers like crunching on cashews and M and M's like Jordan almonds.

And he's like, you want some gummy bears?

And I'm like,

Then he opens up canned rosé.

Are you kidding?

And of course has put football on.

That's a red flag.

That's a red flag.

Kendra is.

That's a real thing.

So I'm just like, no, I'm solid.

I'm good.

I'm going to have my Voss water.

Do my skincare.

It's so funny.

Yeah.

So by the end of this evening, I've watched him lose

literally thousands of dollars.

He's lost every single game that he's gambled on.

And, uh, he's not thrilled about it obviously.

So his mood is directly connected to like the amount of money that he's lost.

And I'm so uncomfortable.

And I'm like, obviously,

Sorry, mom.

I'm like, I don't want to hook up with him at this point.

I don't want to fuck you.

I was wondering about this.

I was like, what's the next step?

Like.

Well, obviously I felt obligated and that's where all of this stuff is so

tricky because it's like, men expect if they're spending money on you, that

there's going to be some sort of ROI.

Yeah.

And so I feel obligated to provide that.

Yeah.

And I feel like anyone would feel like, I know if I was in that situation, I'd

be feeling the exact same way, as sure as unfortunate as that is and how like

fucked up that is like, A hundred percent.

I'd be feeling that too.

Yeah.

And let's be clear when I went up there.

That was an assumption that that was something that , if everything

felt good that that would happen.

Yeah.

Safely, of course.

, but I just wasn't like, I don't want to fuck you after I watch

you be a chauvinist, gross human and dip, or, you know what I mean?

The tip and the milk Hitler.

Like, I'm sorry, but that just like, Ooh, that does not do it for.

Yeah.

So I got really lucky that he couldn't get it up because he was so drunk.

And I was like, oh no.

Gosh, darn.

So I, at this point, Like that starts and ends real quick.

Oh no, I create this pillow Fort between us and bed and he's again, snacking.

Drinking, his canned.

Pussy.

Drinks.

And watching football and it's loud and I'm just , so over the

summer, I just won't go to sleep.

Yeah.

So I am laying there and I just , pretend like I'm asleep at this point.

Cause.

I am done interacting with this, man.

I just have to make it till tomorrow morning.

So I pretend that I'm asleep, football ends.

He loses that game also.

And then he turns on Rick and Morty, which is like the world.

I love Rick and Morty, but it's the most colorful show in the world.

Through my fake sleeping eyelids.

I just have this acid trip of color.

I'm going to say, I love brick and mortar.

Yeah, I love brick and mortar.

Yeah.

But not the best thing while you're like fake sleeping.

So I think he was up till like two in the morning, snacking drinking.

Belching and farting, because he thinks that I'm asleep.

It's so he was bouncing during the day.

Who knows if he even knew.

During the day, it was more of like, you know, when you can tell someone's

got a little indigestion and it's like a little bit more like casual, just

like, like it was that type of stuff.

Full blown, Homer Simpson, just horrific.

That's disgusting.

Disgusting.

, and so I'm just over.

I don't know how I fall asleep, but eventually I fell asleep.

I did not set an alarm.

So I wake up the next morning.

Yeah.

I look at my phone.

It's like eight something.

I am.

I roll over.

And he's gone.

I was like, Hmm.

And so I, you know, we're in a suite, so I'm peeking my head

around the rest of the room.

Yeah.

Go knock on the bathroom door.

, Nope, no answer.

I walk in.

He's not on there.

He's gone.

And I'm like, Hey.

So I'm like maybe he went to get me coffee.

Got a little breakfast treat.

Yeah.

Then I realize both room keys are up there, so he can't

even get in the elevator.

And I also noticed his car keys are not in the room.

And I was like, oh, he.

Is gone.

With no intent to return.

Oh my God.

And then I just felt horrible about myself it was not good.

I was just like, this is gross.

This is gross as fuck.

, Oh, my God.

I know.

It's just horrible.

That's it's a red flag.

I can put it on the list.

, So I'm like, okay.

My flight wasn't till six it's eight in the morning.

I've got hours to kill here.

, I'm like, maybe I can get an earlier flight, but I couldn't.

So I looked, took a shower and I went shopping and I'm thinking , maybe

he's like, oh, I'll let her sleep in.

And he's going to reach out later.

So it's lunchtime.

And I haven't heard from him.

And so I texted him and I said, Hey, I was really surprised to see you

were gone when I woke up everything.

Okay.

Because I still do want to drive this car.

, trying to be kind of sweet.

, I was like, is everything okay?

And he was like, why would you be surprised?

You know, I had to work.

And I was like, oh, you don't remember offering me the car in the first

place because you were fucking drunk.

Got it.

And so I just didn't even respond.

And I was just like, wow.

So I shop and just take myself to lunch and , whatever, go to the airport, . Yeah.

, the next day he texts me.

How was your flight?

And I was like, I'm not responding to this.

We're fucking done.

Yeah.

So you would think that this is where the story ends.

But actually it's where it begins.

Uh,

huh.

Okay.

So.

I'm telling the story at work.

Yeah, I've got one client in my chair who I'm telling the story to.

I've got another client sitting in the chair next to me.

Who's hair color is processing.

Okay.

I hadn't told her the story, but I'm starting to tell him the story and

obviously fine with her hearing it.

Yeah.

So I start the story and she looked over at me and I was like, is everything okay?

And she was like, I know who you're talking about.

And I was like, no.

There's no way.

I was like, he doesn't even live in Atlanta . And she was like, give me a sec.

And she goes on her phone and she pulls.

His picture.

And she was like, is this M?

And I was like, oh my God.

Yes.

And she was like, you're going to.

I hate this story.

And I was like, oh no.

How could this get worse?

So, oh my God.

She was like, Years ago.

My boyfriend at the time, sister.

Was dating this air quotes.

Amazing man.

And they'd been seeing each other for almost a year.

They were exclusively dating and she was ready to introduce us to him.

And so we all had dinner together.

Like.

We're meeting for dinner.

To meet him.

Yeah.

So they go out to dinner at this place in Buckhead that has kind of

a reputation for getting a little CD in the evenings, but it's high end.

Okay.

But a little mob street.

Okay.

So they go to dinner.

He rolls in late shocker.

And, uh, As the evening progresses these mafia looking dudes, start

coming into the restaurant and all of them are like Colin.

What's up, brother.

And he's like, what's up.

They start sending over bottles to their table.

And at one point.

The boyfriend and sister had gone to the bathroom or something.

So it was just my client and Colin at the table.

And she was like, how do you know these people?

And he's drunk at this point.

And so he lowers his voice and looks at her and says, let's just say they pay for

cars and cash and I don't ask questions.

So.

Oh, so you're a money launderer and he just winked and like took a sip of milk.

Just kidding.

But, yeah, so he essentially tells her like he is a money launderer

and she's just like gross.

So, um, that evening ends and the boyfriend and my client

are like, we don't like him.

Like this couldn't have been a worst impression and she's like, it wasn't

as bad, first impression, but you know, like I really like him and oh,

They're like, sorry, but like, Aye.

And they're married and her name is Stephanie.

But he had bought her this Louis Vuitton bag for Christmas.

And a super cute limited edition, which is noteworthy.

and so she's like, oh, he's like, pardon me?

This is my bag.

I'm he's like really general.

He's a fun date.

, and they're like buy your own back, honey.

It's never worth it.

So fast forward a couple of weeks later, this client of mine is at one of the

big, like in town festivals . Yeah.

And she sees a girlfriend of hers that she hasn't seen in awhile.

And she's like, oh my God, how are you?

Duh.

And she noticed that she's got that same handbag and she was

like, oh my God, I love your bag.

And she says, thank you so much.

I'm dating the most amazing.

We're in an exclusive committed relationship.

And he got this from me for Christmas.

Oh, yeah, the cheater.

So she was like my client jokingly.

She says, , His name's not calling, is it?

And the girl pauses.

And she was like, yeah, it is.

How, how do you know.

Oh fuck.

And she was like, I am really sorry to , be the one to tell

you this, but oh my daily.

My boyfriend's sister and he bought her the same bag.

And this girl's like what?

We're in an exclusive relationship and she's like, you're not.

And so this girl is devastated and my client's like, oh, Oh, a

guy just gets worse and worse.

This is horrible.

So, and I swear to God, I can not make this up.

The same festival, a couple hours later, she runs into a different group of friends

and there was another girl with the same.

Limited edition.

Louis Vuitton bag.

So at this point, my client's like, fuck no.

And she like walks up to the girl and she's like, Where'd you get that back?

Like, you know what I mean?

And then I was like, Ugh, I'm dating this amazing man.

We're.

We're in an exclusive relationship.

And he got me this bag for Christmas and she's like, let me ask Collin.

And the girl's like, yeah.

And same thing.

So within a month she's met three women.

Oh, Under the impression they are in an exclusive committed

relationship with this man.

So.

This is the story of my worst dates.

And if anyone has one worse than that, I'd love to hear it.

A doozy.

That's it.

I'm fucking bombed.

I'm like, I didn't even get a fucking Louie out of it.

Like I just got an oyster slider, so I don't know if you've been counting.

I have not been counting.

Did you see my board?

I see your board is full.

Okay.

Do you have a guess at how many red flags or red flags there are?

26.

It was 22.

Wow.

Okay.

How do you feel about that Kelly?

Wow.

It's.

It's it's it's awful.

That's I could never top that worst date.

Good.

I don't want anybody to be able to top that.

No.

Neither do I.

It was, that was.

Yeah.

Fucking DZ.

Well, listen on that note, if you liked this episode, and if you laughed,

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With promo code Clover club, all caps.

, and yeah, we, I guess we'll see you next time, I guess.