📺 Watch & Subscribe on YouTube

In this episode of "A Changed Mind", our host, David Bayer, explores the true nature of discipline and motivation. David challenges conventional wisdom, arguing that lack of discipline stems from unclear context and vision rather than willpower.

David shares personal experiences, including overcoming addiction, to illustrate how connecting daily actions to a larger purpose fuels consistency. He emphasizes the importance of not beating oneself up for slip-ups and reframes readiness as determined by opportunities, not feelings.

=======

Available on Amazon: A Changed Mind: Go Beyond Self Awareness, Rewire Your Brain & Reengineer Your Reality

Download the Audiobook: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DCKF721M

=======

What We Explored This Episode

5:35 Discipline as a byproduct of context

10:40 Having a clear vision fuels motivation

16:45 Readiness is not your job to determine

Memorable Quotes

"Discipline is a byproduct of context. If you know what game you're playing, these things are not a sacrifice, they are a joy."

"You don't have a discipline problem. You don't have a motivation problem. You have a clarity problem. You aren't clear on your context. You aren't clear on your vision."

"Readiness is not your job. God, the universe, whatever your higher power is, determines when you're ready. Don't fall short of what's possible for you because you think you're not ready."

Connect With David

Interested in going deeper with us? Check out the following resources:

👉 FREE MIND HACK BOOK

Join our newsletter and get David’s free Mind Hack ebook and training: https://mindhackprogram.com/acm

👉 POWERFUL LIVING EXPERIENCE

Check out our annual live event The Powerful Living Experience: https://powerfullivingexperience.com

👉 NEED MORE SUPPORT?

Interested in coaching programs and more support?

https://davidbayer.com

👉 DAVID’S NEW BOOK

Check out ‘A Changed Mind’ on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1642939862

Check us out on your favorite social platforms:

LinkedIn - http://www.linkedin.com/in/davidrbayer

Twitter - http://www.twitter.com/davidrbayer

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/coachdavidbayer

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/davidbayer33

YouTube - / @davidbayer33

🎙️🎙️🎙️

Podcast Production Support by FullCast

Mentioned in this episode:

Now Available: A Changed Mind Book

Even though I'm clear on my vision and my context, do I do the things every single time that I should be doing and not do the things I shouldn't? Am I perfect at it? Absolutely not. There are times when I procrastinate. There are times when I make excuses. There are times when I hit the snooze button. But you know what I don't do anymore. That's really helped me to do the things that are important to me a lot more than I used to and to do them most of the time. I don't beat myself up. And I learned this from my sponsor. In my sex addiction recovery, I really struggled to stay sober. I struggled to not look at pornography. I'd been looking at pornography since I was 13 years old. Now I'm 33 years old. I realize I'm an addict. I'm working a 12 step program. I'm trying to beat my addiction. Welcome to a Changed Mind. A journey into the topics that matter to you most. From the neuroscience and spirituality of mindset and personal growth. To groundbreaking strategies for health, wealth and relationships. To open and honest conversations about pressing global issues such as the environment, censorship, corporate capture and democracy. Each and every episode reminds us of the certainty of the goodness of the future and provides the teachings, tools and timeless wisdom inspiring you to create real, lasting change in your life and in the world. If you've been desiring a sanctuary for your spirit, a place to go to tune out the distraction, negativity and doom and gloom so that you can tap into the deep power, the vibrancy, and the potential you have inside your in the right place. Welcome to A Changed mind.

You know what's interesting? We beat ourselves up for not being disciplined. We make promises to ourselves that we continue to break. We don't do the things we know we should be doing. And then the discipline market comes along and tells us we need to time, block, hustle more, wake up at 5am, do a morning routine. But here's the thing. None of those things are the reason you actually lack discipline. And today I'm going to show you what's really preventing you from the discipline and consistency you want. And these two things, when you understand them, will allow you to become disciplined beyond your wildest imagination. No matter how long you haven't been doing the things you know you should or making promises to yourself that you don't keep. If you're like I was most of my life, you probably wish you were more disciplined. The idea is that if you could just be more disciplined, you'd be able to create the results that you want. You'd create the body that you want, the business that you want, the health that you want. And it makes sense. If I could just get to the gym, if I could just get up every day and put in an hour of work towards my dream business, if I could just get up earlier, I'd get more done in my day. But we don't do these things. Instead, we hit the snooze, we go to bed late, we eat the cookie, we drink the alcohol, we smoke the joint. And so we look at our day to day activities and say, look, I'm just not that disciplined. If I were, then I'd change my behavior and I'd get the result. So let me first say that no matter where you are in your life right now, I want you to know that you are very disciplined. You might just be disciplined at the wrong things. You might be disciplined to scrolling and spending hours on social media. You might be disciplined to a poor sleep, hygiene and watching TV or scrolling on your phone or eating too late. You might be disciplined to fear and worry and indecision instead of making progress in your business. So to be clear, you're disciplined. We just need to change what you're disciplined at. Because if you're not doing the things you know you should be doing and doing the things you know you shouldn't, then it's necessary to shift your discipline if you want to create a change in your life. Now, when we don't do the things that we know we should do, not only do we claim to be undisciplined, which is not true, but then we beat ourselves up over it. I don't like getting up early, so most of the time I don't get up early. And for years I'd say to myself that I was lazy, that I didn't have any willpower. I would compare myself to other people, all these five AMers, the motivation, the hustle crowd, and then feel like that there was something wrong with me. And I just ultimately sit in this like puddle of self loathing that didn't get me anywhere, other than making it even harder to change my behavior because I felt so shitty about myself. On top of that, the discipline market will sell you tools to become more disciplined. So you've got everything from time blocking to just hustle more, to all kinds of complex morning rituals like cold plunges or meditation. Now don't get me wrong, like I enjoy my morning routine, but doing these things isn't actually the way to Become more disciplined. And these things are the byproducts of becoming more disciplined. Like you ever say, I'm going to be more disciplined. So you start getting up early and meditating, or you quit coffee, or you change a habit and it lasts like three or four days, and then you don't get up, or you grab the coffee, or you do the old habit, and then you're like, see, there it is. I suck. Forget it. I'll just go back to beating myself up. And I want you to see this, because if you want to change your behavior, it's not about willpower. It has nothing to do with motivation. It's actually about these two distinctions that I'm going to lay down for you that have changed the game for me, that have helped me do the things that I don't want to do, that I struggled with doing for years. And literally in an instant, I snapped the habit. So here's distinction number one. Discipline is a byproduct of context. So I have a private client, he runs an auto body shop.

He's doing all the things the rest of us would do anything to avoid with a smile on his face because he got the context. He had a vision. See, your problem is not that you aren't disciplined. You aren't seeing the context for why you need to do these things. When I first started recording these episodes, it wasn't easy. It was a huge change in behavior for me to sit down, to think about what I'm going to speak about, to record a video. You ever try to do something like that? If you have, then you know it doesn't feel good. You're worried about what people will think or if I'm going to do a good job or say the right things or will people like me. All that stuff comes up for me still to this day. But I have a goal. I have a vision. I know my context. I'm going to create a podcast that changes millions of lives and that's going to plug into a business and a mission that's going to transform the lives of hundreds of millions of people around the world. I don't like going to the gym, I don't like training. I always love it when I'm done, but I don't love it before I do it. But I do it because I have a context. In order to achieve the vision, I have to be the dad I want to be to my 3 year old son, to be the kind of husband that I want to be to my wife, to set a standard for my family, my community. I'm going to train. I'm going to be physically strong. I'm going to build my mindset. I mostly train for my mindset because I'm doing things that I don't want to do because that's in alignment with the person that I want to become. Do I love training? Hell no, I don't. Do I love these small things? In and of themselves, no. But every time I record a podcast, every time I work out, every time I reach out to someone who says, no, I'm not interested in having you on my stage or on my podcast or partnering with you. Every rejection like Arnold talked about gets me one step closer to my vision. So what's your vision? You have to have a vision. You have to have context for why these changes in your behavior, doing the things you don't want to do and stopping the things you shouldn't be doing for why they're important to you. So you don't have a discipline problem. You don't have a motivation problem. You have a clarity problem. You aren't clear on your context. You want clear on your vision. Now, even though I'm clear on my vision and my context, do I do the things every single time that I should be doing and not do the things I shouldn't? Am I perfect at it? Absolutely not. There are times when I procrastinate, There are times when I make excuses, There are times when I hit the snooze button. But you know what I don't do anymore that's really helped me to do the things that are important to me a lot more than I used to and to do them most of the time, I don't beat myself up. And I learned this from my sponsor. In my sex addiction recovery, I really struggled to stay sober. I struggled to not look at pornography. I'd been looking at pornography since I was 13 years old. Now I'm 33 years old. I realize I'm an addict. I'm working a 12 step program. I'm trying to beat my addiction. And when you violate your bottom line, like an AA when you drink, or in Narcotics Anonymous when you do drugs, or in my case with sex addiction, when I looked at pornography, you recommit to another 24 hours of sobriety by picking up what's called a white chip. And I was white chip, Dave. I swear, for the first year, I was going to say meetings, I was picking up a white chip every time I went in. And then one day my sponsor said, look, here's the game plan. We're going to see what happened that led you to look at pornography. Like what made you slip. And we're going to come up with a better game plan. We're going to look at the emotions that you're having, we're going to look at healthier coping habits, and we're going to run those plays as best as you can. But most importantly, you are not going to beat yourself up. Because he said, you're in a trap right now. You feel so shitty about yourself picking up a white chip every time you go to a meeting, because you can only hold your sobriety for a day or two days or three days. And the problem is not that you can't be sober. The problem is you keep beating yourself up. And beating yourself up is like kicking yourself when you're already down. So it's important to understand that even when we're clear on our context, nobody's perfect. It's not about perfection. It's about intention. It's about you caring to be a better version of yourself and then committing to do it better next time. And even if you don't, you get back up and you commit again. Let me tell you the secret that nobody wants to tell you that winners do. We fail over and over and over again. And the only thing that's different about winners and the people who stay stuck is that winners keep trying. There are a lot of people out there, especially in this motivation and inspiration and hustle culture. All the different teachers on YouTube, don't get me wrong, there are some phenomenal ones out there, but there are a lot out there that pretend like they don't make mistakes.

That's their marketing angle. But you know what they have to. Everybody makes mistakes. Nobody stays disciplined all the time. And the difference between winners and the people who stay stuck is that winners keep trying to. And you know what? Over time, when I started allowing myself to not actually do it perfectly, but get back up and recommit, I started to stack behavior change. Until one day I looked up and I had a year and a half of sobriety without looking at pornography. My friend Cody Jefferson, who emcees my big annual event that I do once a year, super powerful husband, super powerful dad, super powerful friend, amazing man. And he has a thing that he says from stage that he teaches our community. He said, this is who I am, so this is what I do. So I chose a new identity. I chose to be a sober person. And so this is what sober people do. I chose. I decided to be successful. Way before there were any metrics that anyone could look at and say David was successful. I decided I was going to be successful in business. So I started committing to one day at a time, doing the things that a successful person would do. I quit alcohol. I stopped smoking pot. I gave up cigarettes. I started really committing to my personal growth. I started getting uncomfortable and going to events and hanging out with other people who were up to something in the world. This is who I am, so this is what I do. Is it comfortable? No, it's growth. You're moving away from the certainty of the life you have, but you have to do that in order to get the life that you want. It's not supposed to be easy or feel comfortable, but when you step into that identity that you're going after a healthy person, a wealthy person, a leader for yourself, for your family, for your community, for the world. Then there are certain behaviors that come with it. But it's not about getting up at 5am for the sake of getting up early. It's not about time blocking for the sake of time blocking. It's not about going to the gym so that you can build muscle or lose weight. It's about doing those things because it's in alignment with who you've decided to be. It's about your vision for yourself. So distinction number one is this. You don't have a discipline problem. You don't have a motivation problem. You're just not clear on why this is important for your vision. So you get clear on that and that becomes your fuel to do the things that you don't want to do. Distinction number two, readiness is not your job. So many people lack what they call discipline because they're afraid they won't be good at the thing. So that same client that I was telling you about, he said something like, I'd like to be coaching high level entrepreneurs, but I'm not ready for that yet. And I said, look, you don't have the privilege of determining whether you are ready or not. That's not your job. That's God's job. God, the universe, whatever your higher power is, determines when you're ready. So don't fall short of what's possible for you because you think you're not ready. You must make yourself available. I told him, look, if someone wants to work with you, that means you're ready. Readiness is evident by the facts that show up in your life. What shows up determines if you're ready or not, not how you feel. God doesn't bring you something you're not ready for. But if you think you aren't ready, if you think you're the judge and jury on your readiness, you'll cut off possibilities that are just waiting for you. You'll play small. You'll sabotage your own success. You'll wait to put yourself in situations where you'll meet people and create opportunities. You'll unnecessarily delay your success for no reason other than thinking you weren't ready. Believing you're not ready is one of the biggest forms of self sabotage and biggest limiting beliefs ever.

This is a great conversation for all of us to be in, and I'm grateful to be in it with you today and I will see you in the next episode. Hey, it's David. One more thing. If you want to go even deeper on everything we've talked about on today's episode, don't forget to jump over to www.DavidBear.com. you can find the link in the show notes and subscribe to our newsletter. A couple of times week. I'm going to be sending you the latest episodes that we've released, along with additional free trainings. You'll get immediate access to my free Mind Hack ebook and go even deeper into all the tools, the technologies, and the frameworks that have helped tens of thousands of people establish a changed mind. Don't forget to jump on over to the site and I will see you in the next episode.