You know what’s wrong — so why hasn’t anything changed?

Why do you keep thinking, “I’m so aware of this… shouldn’t that be enough by now?”

You’ve named the pattern a hundred times. Burnout. Overwhelm. Autopilot. You’ve tried fixing it (therapy, routines, tools, discipline) and somehow you still end up right back here. Knowing isn’t the problem anymore. It’s the part that comes after.

In this episode, we sit in that frustrating gap between awareness and actual change. Not to judge it or rush past it — but to understand what’s really keeping you stuck. This is about loosening the anchor underneath the pattern, not adding another thing to your to-do list.

You’ll be guided to reflect on:

1. Why insight alone hasn’t created the shift you expected
2. The hidden belief that keeps stress and busyness feeling “safer”
3. How solutions can fail when the root is left untouched
4. What it looks like to go beyond awareness and into real change

By the end, you won’t feel like you need to try harder or do more. You’ll feel steadier, clearer, and less at war with yourself — with a new way to approach change that actually sticks.

Resources Mentioned:

1. Free Calm Mind Blueprint: http://www.samanthapenkoff.com/calm-mind-pod
2. Newsletter: www.samanthapenkoff.com/prompts

Work with me:

1. 90 min Breakthrough Intensives - You already know you should slow down, delegate more, stop overcommitting. So why can't you? That's what we figure out in 90 minutes. Plus integration call 2 weeks later. Book your Breakthrough
2. Exhale: Private Coaching - For women ready to do this work until it sticks and you can't revert back. 4 open spots: Work with me

Connect with Sam: Instagram | Facebook

to tell you about something that I have been noticing for the past three years. And it's that every woman that I work with, whether it is in a private coaching container or a breakthrough intensive or even my past group programs like the Peace and Confidence Collective, Self-Sabotage Detox, or this past summer I did like a four week energized summer challenge, whatever it is.

These women, they come to me knowing exactly what's wrong. They are very well

that they are burnt out or overstimulated of, you know, wearing the mom hat and work hat at the same time, or just that their brains can't turn off. And they've tried the solutions. They've been to therapy or maybe are going to therapy.

They've done coaching, they've tried the apps, different morning routines, even gratitude journaling. So they are very well aware of the problem and the solutions, but they either can't make themselves do the thing consistently that they know that they quote unquote should be doing, or when they do, nothing changes. They don't feel any better. They don't feel how they want to feel, or things just aren't panning out how they

want them to be. And here's why that is, in my opinion. I think it's because they are solving the surface problem without healing what's actually underneath. And what's underneath, it's like I'm just kind of picturing an anchor that's like strapped around their ankles and it's weighing them down. So no matter what the tangible solution is, like

time blocking or I don't know, becoming more disciplined or whatever it is, that might work. But when you don't work on that anchor that's pulling you down, you're always going to remain in the same place. But when you do work on that anchor and you're able to at the very least loosen it, you've got more wiggle room. You're going to feel more free. And if you can actually cut it free, cut it off. And with my fingers right now, I'm like using scissors, like rock, paper, scissors.

then you can fly free wherever you want. You can like emotionally and even physically and mentally become and grow into whoever it is that you want to be without those things weighing you down. And so that's why Journal Entries, this podcast, is now named Beyond Awareness. We are changing the name and we are going beyond what you already know.

into healing what is actually keeping you stuck in those patterns of stress and overwhelm and overstimulation and autopilot, anything that's that anchoring feeling so that you can live an exciting life that you keep dreaming about. I remember when I was going through my divorce and also any career pivot and really any life transition.

I would lay in bed at night just dreaming about tiny moments that I wish would feel different. Like I wished for like a really passionate marriage at some point. And then I would wish like of just waking up one day and just living out an exciting day where I wouldn't wake up and just always be running through a to-do list and just wishing for this like

I guess a passionate life, not being so bogged down or having all the reminders in my head, not managing everybody's emotions on top of my own. And that's what I want for you. That's what I'm living now. And I'm going to walk you through what that means today for you, but also what that means for this podcast. Because this is part of the exciting thing that I was hinting towards and teasing the past week or so is

the name change from journal entries to beyond awareness. And so let's first tap into that. The name journal entries, that name first resonated with me because for two reasons. One, it was literally what I was doing. When I started this podcast a little over three years ago, I was journaling. I was strategic journaling through said divorce.

and solo parenting and literally creating a new business and major life changes. And it was so therapeutic for me. And so I was essentially sharing what I was journaling about, which was deep stuff and sharing my lessons with you. And I was bringing on guests and whatnot, but essentially it was my journal entries and I was just being very vulnerable and

sharing stories that would be helpful for you. And a lot of you guys saw yourself in my life transition and what I was going through. And journaling is the main tool that I use. Strategic journaling, right? Not gratitude journaling, not surface level journaling, not like, actually I have a journal right here that I just have a prompt. Okay, so here are some prompts.

If a genie could grant you three wishes, what would they be? Or write down a few lines from a song or poem that you identify with. No, those are not my prompts. Those to me are like Pinterest prompts that don't get you anywhere. I do prompts that actually shift something in you, that get you closer to something that you want in your life. Anyways, that's my main modality. And I am now realizing three years in,

that I want my podcast to be more reflective of the transformation that you get by listening every single week. Or if you also participate in the Thursday journaling episodes, by doing that type of journaling, by going beyond the surface level awareness and into actual change, into that transformation, into feeling the shift. And another thing,

my sister actually brought this to my attention, is that when I meet with people in person, a lot of people think of me as a journal coach. And it's, think, because I talk a lot about journaling, I do journaling on my podcast. And for a while, I even called myself a journal coach. And I'm happy to do so. I'm happy that people think of me as, ⁓ you know, with journaling and attach me to that. However,

In person, is so interesting because when I talk about journaling, there is sometimes a distinct shift in people's demeanor, I think, when journaling gets brought up. And people disqualify themselves from trying my resources, from using my resources, whether they be free, like my Calm Mind Blueprint link in the show notes, or...

paid, like working with me in a coaching capacity in any sort. And they do that if they don't journal, if they think that they're not good at journaling, whatever that might mean. And it makes me feel so sad for them because I have had a private client where she wanted the transformation. She wanted to

feel less anxious. She wanted to get out of her head about the spiral of thoughts that was going on, and she wanted to feel more confident and walk about her day in a more peaceful way. And she wasn't a journaler. And guess what? We didn't journal at all. What we did was I tweaked my approach of strategic journaling, and I prompted her through strategic questions in our coaching session.

And so yes, strategic journaling is my main tool and I love writing it out. There's so much research with not only the five prompts in the Calm Mind Blueprint, those are science-backed prompts and it actually transforms the way that your brain works and the way that you feel. But also you don't have to do that. The brilliance of coaching is that we tweak things.

And so anyways, all this to say is that, especially when listening to a podcast, it's not just about journaling. So I wanted to change the title from journal entries to something more reflective. And to me, it's beyond awareness. We are so aware of what it is that you want, what is the problem. And you are likely aware of the list of shoulds that you should do. And I am here to help you bridge that gap.

to help you achieve what it is that you want to achieve. Another quick thing is I asked one of my past clients about this new name of Beyond Awareness and her feedback. She gave me amazing feedback, but one thing that she said was that it reminds her of unsolved mysteries. And it literally made me laugh out loud because when I first started my podcast three years ago, I did some sort of

or something on Instagram stories. And I was just curious what other listeners listened to of podcasts. And people, my listeners, listened to self-help or personal development and unsolved mystery, unsolved mysteries or like crime shows. And so I thought that was really funny. And then at the time of this recording, Spotify, is it unwrapped or Spotify wrapped? Just came out.

And so I just looked as, you can listen, you get that as a listener. So if you listen to music, but you also get that as a creator, if you have a podcast on Spotify. And so I looked as a creator and it tells you what your listeners also listen to. And lo and behold, there is one show, I should look up what it actually was, but it was an FBI show. So if people stumble upon Beyond Awareness,

because they think that it might be FBI or ghosts or something. Welcome. It is not that show, but I'm glad that you are here. All right, so that is a little bit about the name change. I want to go into a little bit more about my story and how I landed here in terms of Beyond Awareness. Because through my coaching conversations, I

have found a lot of myself in these women. So I've been helping these women who know exactly, okay, hold on, something's just coming to me right now. I went to a networking event this summer and it's literally for women. It was a women's networking event and there is a woman there and I asked her a question that I got from a different networking event and somebody asked me, like, who is your...

ideal client or something. And I was like, okay, that's a good question. So it was an awkward silence at this other event. So I was like, who is your ideal client? this woman was starting to answer and she was saying, I don't really have an ideal client. I will work with anyone, blah, blah. Who is yours? And I was saying, I work with women who blah, blah.

And she was started to say, well, will you really turn away a man if he wants to work with you? And then she wasn't really looking for my answer. She just starts going off on why people will actually accept anyone. And in my head, I'm like, no, I actually will turn away a man. I do not want to work with men, even if they are going through this exact thing. I want to work with women. Anyways, so I help women.

And these women, like I said earlier, they know what's wrong, what they, quote unquote, should be doing. And they can't figure out why they're not feeling better. So some specific examples that both I have gone through the past three years and what I've seen with past clients is she and I know that we have been on the bottom of our priority list.

Right? So that's like the problem. the solution is we know we should prioritize ourselves. Or one common thing I've seen in my clients is, and it's also myself, because literally I'm looking at my desk right now, we know that our desk is a mess. And we tell ourselves, ⁓ we need to clean it. And we even have a game plan. Like five minutes every day, we'll just quickly pick up whatever we can, even if it's not spotless. Or every Friday afternoon.

Maybe you do this even with pictures on your phone so that you don't have the 47,000 images. Like once a week, you'll just go through and delete all the selfies or whatever, like the duplicates. And do we do it? No, we don't do it. Or maybe you know that you're overstimulated when the kids get home and your solution is you want to build in that transition time. So you know the problem, you know the solution, and you've tried

maybe that transition time. You've tried the retreats, you've tried the coaching, you've tried the girls' nights. You maybe hired help at the office or at home, but you're either not doing it consistently or when you do do it, it doesn't stick. Like you've tried that transition time for a week or a couple days and then you go back to working right up until the kids get home. And it just doesn't feel any better. And it's back to that anchoring feeling.

And it's because until I started strategic journaling, we just skipped the part where we dig into why the problem is there in the first place. And we jump to the solution because we are, and you are, an ambitious problem solver. Right? You're a go-getter. I know you. And so you jump straight to the solution. But that solution

is like putting a band-aid on an open bleeding wound. It might cover it up or stop the bleeding for a day or two, but the wound is still there. It's still open. It's still bleeding underneath. And so my job in this podcast is to help you heal that wound so that eventually, if you do use a band-aid, whatever that solution is, it will actually work.

Or you might not even need a band-aid because your clarity and your trust in yourself that you get from healing the wound will be so strong and so, what is the word I'm looking for? Like, you'll be so sure of yourself and trust in that that the rest just kind of heals itself. I actually once, I had a client who finally got herself to hire a nanny.

who, because she was all these things, right? She was overwhelmed, overstimulated. She was one of the people who wanted to build in that transition time so that when her kids got home, she wasn't like so frantic. So she hired a nanny who did the cleaning. She prepped dinner and she looked after the kids for a few hours when they did get home from school. And she did it because she thought that this would solve everything. But guess what happened?

she didn't feel any less stressed. Instead, she just filled all of that freed up time with more work and more responsibilities. And the stress didn't go away. It all just shifted into different areas. like she still ended up doing the work and when it was time for her to unplug or disconnect and cook the dinner that was already prepped for her,

She worked right up until that time and she was still overstimulated going into that. She still didn't have that transition time. And so we worked together to get to the root of where her stress was actually coming from, what beliefs were reinforcing it, and also why it felt safer to stay busy than to rest and what she was actually afraid of. And once we addressed that, that root,

cause, she could feel at peace, even on days when her nanny didn't come in, like when she called in sick or eventually she went on maternity leave and she had all of the responsibility back on her plate. Yet once we did like all of that underneath work, she was actually able to feel more calm and more at peace and end work earlier without fearing like that she didn't do enough because the problem was never the lack of help.

It was that belief underneath that she had to earn her worth through productivity. And there's so many different reasons for everybody. It's just we always jump to that solution of, I'll just hire more help. And again, that is the example of the band-aid. Last week on the podcast, I shared a recent personal breakthrough where I realized I was draining myself.

by over preparing for coaching calls and basically filtering what I said or was planning to say to appear professional and put together instead of trusting my intuitive coaching style. Basically just what comes to me in the moment, trusting that that is what the person needs to hear. That is what you listening needs to hear today.

And that awareness of the, I'm over preparing and I should stop and trust that, that actually wasn't enough. I had to dig into why. Why did over preparing feel safe? What was I protecting myself from? If I didn't over prepare, if I didn't prepare at all, what would that mean about me? And you can go listen to last Tuesday's episode if you're interested in all the questions that I asked myself.

but digging deeper, that is what really set me free and like gave me the full breakthrough, not the initial, ⁓ wait, I just shouldn't prepare and I should trust myself more. That to me, it's not surface level because it is deeper. Like the awareness of, ⁓ wait, I just need to trust myself. That is deeper, but it's, I don't know.

just beneath the surface because get to the point, well, why don't I trust myself enough to do that? What is the fear keeping me safe? What is the fear keeping me not doing the thing that I want to be doing, not trusting my intuition, all of that stuff? And it turns out, semi-spoiler alert, that I was trying to control other people's perception of me because deep down,

I didn't trust that my intuition was enough. I didn't trust that my own worth was enough without that over preparation. And again, once I got to that belief, then it was so easy for me to shift. It was literally like I could snap my fingers. And it wasn't because I had more discipline. It wasn't because of an affirmation of, I can trust myself. I am worthy enough. It wasn't any of that.

is what Beyond Awareness is about. It's enough to know that you are burnt out and overstimulated and that you're on the bottom of your priority list. We need to get to the root of why you can't make yourself change and what beliefs are underneath keeping you in that pattern, that anchor. That's just keep coming to me as I'm saying all of this. And why...

your subconscious beliefs feel safe keeping you there. Even though consciously we know you're miserable, you're exhausted, you don't like it, right? But something about it is keeping you here. So something feels good, I guarantee you it's subconscious. And also questioning what it's actually costing you. It's not just your time or your energy.

as a human design projector, those two things are way heavily for me. But also, maybe it's presence with your kids or maybe it's costing you passion in your work because if you're on autopilot every day or just going through like the mundane motions in your workday, you can't really be in the moment and present and passionate and fueled by the work that you do and notice the impact that you make.

Or maybe it's costing you peace in your own mind because you are sure maybe you think that you're present, but you have a million things to do list items, emotions, reminders in your head. And finally, what actually needs to shift. And it's again, not that you need more discipline or better time management

that those are like the two main things. The third would probably be more systems. You need more systems for your team to follow or something. It's that you need to excavate. I love saying that word because I think of the Blippi song, Excavator. And like just digging and keep digging slowly and surely until you get there. But excavate the belief that's making the old pattern feel safer than changing. And again, once you

do, it's like this slow, like, I don't even want to say slow because it feels so fast because once you uncover it, it's like this safe space to be like, ⁓ that's what it is, and let me change it. And it's like this identity shift where everyone in your life can then sense the calmer version of you, the more fulfilled version of you, the happier version of you, and you are showing up.

in work and with your kids and with your partner and for yourself, the things that you do for yourself happier and in all the ways that you want to. So it's amazing. This is the type of work that I do basically with my clients. I was going to say private client in any capacity. And I'm just bringing that energy into each episode now rather than saving it just for my clients.

way to work with you to dig deep and to really learn about what is going on with you. And it's also the quickest. It's the quickest way to understand your patterns and to break through rather than like a group setting or something self paced, which is just like one more thing on your to do list. ⁓ anyways, if you're listening to this, whether you're new or you've been here for three years, first, I just want to say thank you for being here. Thank you for sticking around.

then I hope that you find all of this insightful, ⁓ maybe a little bit scary. This will probably you a little bit. Push you outside your comfort zone. And the direction that this podcast is going in is definitely for...

successful women and those go-getters that I mentioned earlier, whether you are a business owner, an executive, I work with a lot of executives and leaders, but essentially women who are tired of managing those symptoms. And also those women that I mentioned earlier who have done the things, you've done therapy and coaches and read all of the books, listened to all of the podcasts even. I also wanna say too,

I've done those things and I'm still going to therapy. I still hire business coaches. So there's nothing against those things. What this is about is also getting to that anchor that is keeping you where you are so that when you do go to therapy or hire a coach or read a book or try to be more disciplined or...

you know, do a time blocking situation in your calendar, it actually works. You're able to implement it without these subconscious beliefs that are at the same time telling you, sure, you can do that, but you're also not enough, but it's not gonna work, but X, Y, Z. So these two things together is going to like just blow up your world, really propel you into your new

If you are a client listening to this, past client or current client, and you want to share, let me know. I'll also reach out to you privately, but feel free to hop on the podcast. There's also going to be more series that build on each other, just like my journal prompt flows that I share in my weekly newsletters. In my weekly newsletters, I always share ⁓ something normally vulnerable.

And then I give you a strategic journal prompt flow with like three or four prompts to help you actually have a breakthrough. And on the podcast, the way that I'm going to do that is series, maybe like two to four part series that build on each other.

so that by week four, it's almost like a full journal entry, if you will. It's like the final completion. So week one might be just awareness of the actual pattern that you have. Week two might be questioning the belief underneath. Week three might then be seeing how it impacts ⁓ others in your life. And week four is like the, ⁓ like the deep,

direction and clarity that you actually need to change. With that being said, soon I will be doing a series called Beyond Awareness. I actually was going to do this series before I thought of the name change for this podcast, but it is going to be about everything that we've talked about today. But I'm going to be breaking down the specific different ways

that my past clients have ⁓ been stuck in the past and how she actually was able to break through. like a problem that she had, the solution that she tried, but the belief that she skipped. And I'll be coaching you through that for four weeks. So I'm excited for that. think that you're going to get a lot out of that. So these episodes are going to go deep. They're not going to scratch the surface.

not productivity tricks, not ⁓ tips and tactics and things like that. We are really going there this year and it's the things, the strategies that will make whatever else you do stick. So if you're new here, if this is your first episode, welcome. I truly believe that you found this for a reason, whether you searched

Or maybe a friend sent you this episode thinking, sounds like what you need. Or maybe the universe just put this in front of you right when you needed Whatever it is, either way, you are here because you are ready to look at this, like head on, direct. You're ready to go beyond awareness. You're ready to...

stop just knowing what's wrong and start actually transforming. Start not sabotaging your success and actually embracing what it is that you want and consciously taking action without anything holding you back. So I am so glad you're here. If you are listening to this and thinking, yes, this is me. I know what I need to do.

but there is that anchor, there is something holding me back. A couple things you can do before the next episode. Number one, you could download the Calm Mind Blueprint. The link for that will be in the show notes. That is my free five-day strategic journaling practice where we take one overwhelm ⁓ situation happening in your life and there's one strategic prompt.

and we dig into that root belief underneath it and you get one prompt a day and voice guidance, or you could actually do all five prompts at once and it would just be like 10 to 15 minutes. So up to you on the time commitment. And also this is the exact framework that my high ticket clients, private clients use. So it is a great framework. This is the one that I was talking about earlier and it's where everything begins. So.

Feel free to download that. Again, it's free. And if you want to go deeper than those five days, if you're ready to work one-on-one together, then you could also book a 90-minute breakthrough intensive. And that's where we dig into your specific pattern one-on-one and we create a roadmap for your change and your direction and give you that clarity that might feel a little bit murky right now. And then lastly, I have exhale.

It is my four or six month container for private coaching where we do this work until you literally can't revert back even if you tried. You will have that full identity shift and that anchor will be cut free and you are just going to feel like a whole new version of yourself that again is already inside. You are just liberating her and it's a complete transformation and feels incredible. Link for all of that is in the show notes.

Welcome to Beyond Awareness. We are going to go deep. I am so grateful you are here, and I will see you on Thursday for our next strategic journaling session.