The central theme of this podcast episode revolves around the profound transformation that occurs when individuals confront their vulnerabilities and embrace the concept of surrendering to their circumstances. We explore the intricate intersection of pressure, purpose, and humanity, delving into how these elements shape our experiences and resilience. Our esteemed guest, Kenny Stoddart, founder of Iron Mind Advisors, shares his personal journey, illustrating how the weight of expectations and societal norms can be alleviated through self-compassion and grace. Throughout our discourse, we emphasize that true strength is not merely a function of external accomplishments but rather an internal acknowledgment of one’s struggles and the courage to seek help. As we navigate this conversation, we invite our listeners to reflect on their own definitions of strength and the potential for renewal that lies within moments of silence and introspection.

A profound exploration of human resilience unfolds as we delve into the intricate interplay between pressure, purpose, and humanity. The conversation, featuring Kenny Stoddart, founder of Iron Mind Advisors, centers on the transformative power of facing one's vulnerabilities. Stoddart recounts a pivotal moment in his life, a night when the burdens he carried were lifted, revealing the essence of inner strength. He emphasizes that true strength is not merely about pushing through adversity but encompasses the ability to pause, reflect, and embrace one's authentic self. As we navigate the complexities of modern existence, the discussion invites listeners to reconsider their definitions of strength and success, urging a shift from external accolades to internal clarity and growth. The dialogue further examines the misconceptions surrounding strength, particularly the societal belief that it entails relentless perseverance. Stoddart shares his personal journey, illustrating how his pursuit of external achievements led to internal turmoil and burnout. He advocates for a redefinition of strength that acknowledges the importance of seeking help and fostering connections with others. This episode serves as a clarion call for individuals grappling with their challenges to embrace vulnerability, recognize their worth, and initiate the journey toward healing and self-discovery. The insights gleaned from this profound exchange resonate deeply, urging each listener to reflect on their own experiences and the transformative potential of embracing one's true self.

Takeaways:

1. The profound silence that envelops us can compel one to confront their true self devoid of societal labels and expectations.
2. Our conversation today centers on the intersection of pressure, humanity, and the pursuit of purpose amidst adversity.
3. The journey to inner strength often necessitates confronting one's vulnerabilities rather than merely pushing through challenges at all costs.
4. True strength is not solely defined by outward accomplishments, but rather by the resilience demonstrated in moments of profound personal struggle.

Links referenced in this episode:

1. ironmindadvisors.com
2. kenmindadvisors.com

Companies mentioned in this episode:

1. Iron Mind Advisors

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

🎙️ Want to Be a Guest on Healthy Mind, Healthy Life?

Send me a direct message on PodMatch.

👉 DM Me Here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/avik

🌱 About Healthy Mind By Avik™️

Healthy Mind By Avik™️ Global Mental Wellness Podcast Network - focused, credible, no more identity clutter.

👉 Subscribe and be part of this healing journey.

Refer a Guest

Know someone who would be a great fit for one of our podcast shows? Email us at services@podhealth.club with the subject line “Refer a Guest.” Requests without this subject line cannot be catered to.

Support Our Podcast: Support this Podcast

📬 Contact & Links

Brand: Healthy Mind By Avik™️

Contact Us

Based in: India & USA

🎧 All Podcast Shows

🤝 Be a Guest

📩 Newsletter Substack

👉 Join the LinkedIn Community

📌 Disclaimer - This episode is produced for educational and informational purposes only. All views expressed by the guest are their personal opinions alone and do not represent the views of the host or Healthy Mind by Avik™. The Network does not verify, endorse, or assume responsibility for any guest statements. Nothing in this episode constitutes medical, legal, financial, or professional advice, please consult a qualified professional before making any decisions. Listeners are encouraged to engage critically and independently with all content do not consume blindly. Use this content as a starting point for your own reflection and research, not as a substitute for professional guidance. Third-party content is referenced under fair use for informational purposes only. Guest speakers are solely responsible for their own statements.

If you have concerns about any content, please contact us here

By listening, you acknowledge and accept this disclaimer in full. Read detailed disclaimer here.

There are moments when everything you have built, your career, your identity, your sense of control, suddenly goes quiet.

And in that silence, you are forced to meet yourself without titles, without armor.

And tonight's conversation, dear listeners, lives right there.

I mean, in the space where pressure, purpose, and humanity collide.

So, hey, dear listeners, welcome back to another powerful episode of Mind meets Machine where we explore how human resilience, leadership, and inner clarity evolve in a world shaped by pressure and performance.

And today I'm joined by a lovely guest.

Please welcome Kenny Stoddart.

So welcome to the show.

Thank you very much.

Thanks for having me.

Amazing.

And dear listeners, before we delve deep into our discussion, I'll quickly love to introduce you with Kenny.

So Kenny is the founder of Iron Mind Advisors and the creator of the Iron Mind mentality.

So we are talking about the courage surrender and what happens when life disrupts even the strongest minds and how that disruption can become a new form of strength.

So I'll not take much of your time.

Let's get started.

Welcome to the show again.

Yeah, thank you for having me.

And I'm looking forward to talking to your audience about those top.

Those topics that you just mentioned.

Amazing.

So can you like.

I mean, mine shows, like, it's still recording.

There you are.

I don't know what happened.

It.

Okay.

Mine shows that it's still recording.

So we can keep going if you're good.

Perfect.

I guess for me also it is recording.

Actual recording in higher quality.

Yeah, fine.

I guess this is fine.

Okay.

Fine.

Okay.

Yeah.

So where I was there.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

So we'll start from here.

So can you, like.

So I'm really curious while.

While also discussing.

So I'm really very curious that when you look back at the moment your life truly changed, then what do you remember feeling in your body more than anything else?

Well, I think the feeling that I felt more than anything else was the weight of what was holding me down was being lifted from me.

And I truly felt that, you know, I had a moment that I talk about quite often of that specific night when that weight was lifted.

I call it the night that I received my grace in the mirror.

Because I had been looking for ways to get better as I was struggling through some of my darker moments.

And I was known, you know, I was very good at making excuses about.

Well, I'm doing this because of that or whatever.

But, you know, on that particular evening last October, I was looking in the mirror and, you know, I gave.

The problem was looking right back at me, I realized.

And it was Time to stop making excuses and start rebuilding myself and getting my life back on track to what I had known that I was capable of doing.

So on that particular night, I had.

I gave myself what I call some grace in the mirror, meaning I gave myself a pat on the back and said, kenny, you're going to be all right.

You've got this.

But the feeling that I felt after that was, you know, that weight that I was carrying, that shame, that guilt, that person that I was not proud of, I felt that that's slowly being lifted off that evening.

And it was, you know, it's a tremendous weight that I was carrying because of the amount of pressure that I was continuing to put on myself.

But when I offered myself some grace that night, it was a learning experience because of the immediate impact that it had on my healing process.

I was no longer fighting against myself anymore.

I was.

I was on the same page.

I was on a mission to get better.

And, you know, that was the night that I decided that I was going to turn my life around.

And, you know, thus far I have done so.

And I, you know, it.

It continues to be an everyday process, but now I'm in a much different environment where I'm here talking about it and sharing some of those experiences about what it felt like when I, you know, not only was that my, you know, my proverbial rock bottom, but also at the moment where my life changed forever and I decided that, you know, I'm in control again, not alcohol or greed or material things or promotions, that it was me that was going to lead the path through the grace of God and whatnot.

But.

And that.

That's was a tremendous feeling to.

To have that tremendous weight lifted off my shoulders so that I can march forward confidently on to a better process of improving myself.

Definitely, I totally agree with you.

And obviously, like, that awareness of the body often tells the truth before the mind catches up.

Right?

So, yeah.

So, like, one more thing, like, because when we are talking about this, I believe in all scenarios, there definitely should be some of the misconception, the common misconceptions.

So there's a widespread belief that strength means pushing through at all costs.

So from your experience, where does that definition fall apart?

Well, you know, I, for years, you know, measured strength by, you know, how hard I could work or how fast I could run or how much I could.

You know, I was a triathlete.

I was chasing all these athletic dreams.

I felt like I was a big, strong man and, you know, always trying to improve my strength.

Lo and Behold, the real strength that I should have been working on was the strength that comes from within.

The strength to be a better person, to be a better.

To take better care of myself.

The strength of that we don't measure by crossing Ironman finish lines or getting promotions.

The strength that shows up when, you know, in times of adversity, right?

In times of, like, everybody faces adversity in their life.

If they haven't, I can promise you that there will be a moment and real strength shows up in how you deal with those moments.

That's why when we look at some of our greatest leaders during the most challenging moments, the ones that shine are the ones that turn that chaos into clarity, that adversity into strength, that cancer diagnosis into the opportunity to educate others on the importance of early detection.

These are things that are true signs of strength that don't show up, you know, on the beach or in the gym, or they show up in everyday life.

And those are the types of strength that we need as human beings to deal with the stuff that goes on on an everyday basis that enters our life as adversity.

I didn't have that strength when I was, when.

When alcohol had its control over me, for example.

What I quickly realized when I got control of that problem is the clarity came back.

And it provided me that strength to make big decisions about my career, my livelihood, my health, my wellness, how to deal with a cancer diagnosis.

These things that.

These are signs of strength that come through clarity, that come through adversity, that come through using challenges that we face in our real life as an opportunity to become better.

That's strength.

It's not how strong you are in the gym or anything like that that's helpful, and I love that as well.

But life is much bigger than that.

And that's what I've found out over the past several years.

Exactly.

So what I believe is like, what stand out, how the strength is like in your story when it doesn't look like the dominance, but it actually look like the honesty.

So, I mean, that is everything.

That is everything.

It really is.

And you know, honesty is part of that strength as well.

You know, when you are.

When your strength is down, your.

Your honesty is one of those things that can diminish as well, because you're looking for ways to regain that strength without looking for the, like I said, the actual root cause.

But true strength shows through during our most challenging times.

And it doesn't have to be an Ironman race or a CEO promotion or a board meeting.

It could be anything.

That we face in life that causes us adversity and allows us the opportunity to deal with it in the most meaningful way possible and meaningful by, you know, what's best for the total outcome for us as individuals and the people that are important for us and whatnot.

And those are, you know, when you're not fully sound, those are decisions that are much more difficult to make.

But when you have that strength that shows through, you can make those decisions with confidence.

Very true, Very true.

I really love this.

Yep.

And like, you know, like the root causes are very important because it also help us about the deeper patterns as well.

So also I'm very curious, like when, I mean, what tends to happen beneath the surface when high performance avoid kind of slowing down or asking for the help.

Yeah.

You know, for high performers, which, you know, I, I don't know, I guess I, I put myself in that category whether I, I just going to put myself there.

But, you know, I was the type of person that, you know, it looked like I had it all.

It looked like everything was great.

On the outside I looked strong and fit and healthy and happy and smiled big and whatnot.

But, you know, on the inside there was a lot of years of pain and grief and whatnot that I, that I, you know, probably hadn't dealt with in the right manner because I was continuing to try to wear that Superman cape that I refer to often, you know, making sure that I continued to look great on the outside and show show no signs of weakness because that's not me.

I'm strong and big and everything's great.

You know, that did come to a screeching halt for me where, you know, I, I couldn't wear the cape anymore.

I had to take it off and I asked, I had to ask for help.

You know, another one of the most incredible signs of strength for someone that doesn't know how to or is asking for help or guidance.

And you know, it's, it's stereotyped as a sign of weakness to ask for help or to give in because I'm a high achiever.

Right.

You know, that's where I, that's where I, I, I disagree with the stigmatism that, you know, asking for help is a sign of weakness for anybody.

It's actually the most amazing thing because the opportunities that are in front of us, that are right around us on a basis, whether it be your friends or your family or colleagues that you work with that are willing to have conversations with you, there's so much to gather from that.

And it's right at our disposal.

Oftentimes we don't know what people that are sitting next to us are struggling with because they internalize everything.

And I understand that component of it as well.

These are personal items that everybody doesn't like to have the topic of conversation all the time.

Me, I'm different.

You know, I spoke up.

I was diagnosed with cancer.

I needed to find help, right?

So doctors were certainly a resource.

But the reason, you know, when.

When I did speak up, I found out that other people that were much closer to me than my doctors, because I had a, you know, had been suffering through some of the same things and had some of the best guidance that, you know, caused me to be able to relax and have a.

Have more of that clarity.

But.

And then there's also people that, you know that are just not willing to talk about it because it's a sensitive topic.

And I understand that, too.

But, you know, I'm trying to help others take that cape off and ask for help.

If I didn't ask for help, I'm not quite sure where I would have ended up.

Even now, because I was on a bad path.

Alcohol had got its talons and stuck them in me, and I was merciless at that point.

I was.

I'm so grateful that I did ask for help and that I showed signs of weakness and.

Because it's actually incredible strength that I showed.

And now here I am, you know, a year and a half later, talking about the same situation and, you know, dedicating my life to helping others because of the experience that I had during my own recovery process.

So I don't know if any of that would have happened had I not been a little bit more outspoken about the fact that, you know, I struggled with alcoholism.

And I'm not afraid to say that out loud because not only did I struggle with it, but I said, I'm not going to do it anymore.

And then I stopped doing it.

And, gosh, that sounds so easy.

But it wasn't.

None of it was easy.

It's still hard every day, but with the right frame of mind, it's become easier and easier and more of a mission.

So super proud of all of that.

I really am.

But, you know, the work is not never over.

Exactly.

And so it's not just the burnout.

I mean, it's the.

I would say the identity erosion and crisis as well.

So definitely.

And, you know, like, the real life impact thing, which we all talk.

So what do you.

What do you love to say on this?

Like, how did this Patterns show up in your own life, especially, especially at the intersection of the leadership, health, purpose.

So, so I make no secret about it that I struggled with what the executive burnout, corporate burnout, burnout, whatever it is.

Alcoholism was a component of that burnout.

But burnout doesn't happen overnight.

It takes, you know, it, it takes, it's a slow decay, if you will.

It takes time.

And you know, there are early warning signs that, you know, when I look back on it, I could, I can definitely see them happening to me now and I see them happening in others and it's pretty straightforward.

The issue is that no one wants, you know, burnout's a bad word and no one wants to talk about it, no one wants to admit to it, and no one wants to point those, those, those early indicators out.

But the impact that it was having on my life were, you know, the drive to continue at the same level was very difficult to keep up with.

Right.

So I was, you know, I was a young executive.

I started, you know, and, and rose through the ranks and by 24 or 25 years old, I was leading big teams of multi million dollar revenue generating teams and forced into it and loving it and embracing it and trying to continue it and you know, for the next 30 years it was that it was trying to continue to climb the chain.

Well, maybe I should go back into the field and, and settle down, which is more of a grand grind, the day to day stress or back to management and all these things because I wanted to, you know, be amazing.

But what was happening was, you know, my relationships were suffering.

I forgot what fun essentially was like.

It was, you know, the things that most people look forward to, like a vacation or whatever almost became like a, you know, a challenge to coordinate and whatever.

And these are, these are things that I usually excel at and you know, this is what I do.

But when burnout takes over, you know, it's hard to find the positive in a lot of things.

And you know, a lot of it bleeds over into the house in the evenings.

You know, people see you at work and you're one person, but who you are at home is sometimes different.

And those are really big indicators of burnout.

And you know, I don't want to make it sound like people are bad people because that's happening.

These are, these are real world things.

And thankfully I, I addressed it and I'm continuing, continuing to address it because I'm an advocate for getting, you know, dealing with this, this negative stereotype of everybody needs to grind, grind, grind and who works the hardest instead of the smartest is going to have this perception of this.

But in reality, that's not strength.

That's not something that does not end well.

And it didn't end well for me.

So I'm not asking high achievers or executives to draw back their goals or work less or not have drive.

That's not my point.

Again, my point is to have boundaries around it, because there's other things in life that do matter, starting with your family, your faith, these things.

But.

But your friendships, your social life, your vacation life, your downtime, enjoying the fruits of your labor.

These are the things that go by the wayside when you're grinding all the time because you're trying to move that finish line that you've already done it, man, we're proud of you.

Enjoy it and then continue to work hard and do great things, but keep in mind what really matters.

And, you know, otherwise you might wake up one day and like I did and I was hanging on for dear life.

And then I got better, and then, you know, I had a cancer diagnosis and then I got better.

But the point is, everybody can do this.

I did it at 51 years old.

I went from being a cyber security executive to a licensed mental health counselor.

Complete opposite spectrums of the world at 50 years old.

Because there are no barriers, if you're thinking right.

Very, very true, very true.

And also, like what you are saying, it feels deeply human because success on the outside, it's kind of, I'd say, disconnection on the inside also.

Right.

So there's so many people in my life that were just kind of amazed by, like, really?

Yeah.

Kenny, you're so, always so happy, like, you're struggling.

That's on me.

That was because I was trying to wear that cape all the time.

But the reality of it is, yes, I was.

I don't make any excuses and I'm working through all this stuff, but I was, and I've gotten so much better.

And talking about it is part of the cure for me because it's part of the helping process.

If someone comes up to me, which happens quite often nowadays, and said, I saw your post on LinkedIn or something like that, thank you.

Like, that's overwhelming gratitude on my part because it makes it so much so worth it to be outspoken about these things and not be afraid to talk about some of the more sensitive topics or admit failure, which is, you know, I'm not doing that.

But I was close, right.

I lost it all to the point where, thankfully, I Had enough to turn it around and then the courage to accommodate that which is what was needed most.

So, like setbacks, it do not announce themselves and they just sneak in.

Right.

So what do you think?

I mean, according to you, how does someone stay anchored when fear or maybe uncertainty resurfaces?

I mean, my methodology that I've put into practice is, and I hate to make it sound easier said than done, it's not.

But turning some of the chaos into clarity, I, I just did that.

Like I said, with my most recent, you know, I, I was diagnosed with stage three prostate cancer on September 9th.

I was shocked because I had no symptoms.

I feel great.

I always felt great.

You know, that's typically a chaotic moment.

That's a big ouch.

That's a big wow, whatever, call it what you will.

And it was.

And it's.

But, you know, it's almost the appropriate time to do that.

Take that walk around the block or take a deep breath or take a, you know, let's process this before we overreact, if you will.

And that's, that's what I chose to do.

I chose to dive into what my diagnosis was, what my options for treatment were, becoming a, essentially a student of it.

And most people do when they, they want to know what their situation is, but having those conversations with people that were not doctors that have been through it opening up, I was able to, you know, turn that, you know, very scary situation into a, A very positive situation.

It was still scary, you know, so I had to face the fact that I had to have a pretty major surgery soon, which I've had since.

And I'm healed and I'm grateful.

Amen to that.

But at the time, you know, it was a lot to process and, you know, taking that step back, taking that walk around the block, if you will, that to figure out, okay, well, what's, what's the best way to handle this situation?

And you know, there's, there's good ways and there's bad ways and there's, you know, it's.

You have to get the feedback from the resources you have available to you and make the best decisions.

And then it just, it combines the combination of that with the decision making process provides a feeling of security that you've done your homework, you've made the right decision.

And with me, that's what it did.

I made the decision to have surgery and I never looked back because I made the right decision based on all, like, fact finding.

And then I had my own comfort level.

And now here we are but turning that moment into a learning option is.

Even if we look at some of the past challenges that we faced, if we would have put that into practice, it would have allowed us to make better decisions, I think.

So I was able to do that.

And that's what I encourage everybody to do, is to turn that chaos into clarity.

Whatever it is in your life that's causing you anxiety or just unrest, think about it, talk about it, Google it, whatever.

You know, get yourself more educated on the topic and understand that there might be creative ways to, to deal with it or better ways to handle it or someone to reach out to, to speak to about it.

That has been hugely beneficial to me in my approach.

Understood.

Totally understood.

And also, like, for anyone who is listening, who feels overwhelmed or quietly struggling, then what would you want them to hear right now?

Well, I would want them to hear that they, they also have the ability to give themselves the same pat on the back that I did that night, that grace in the mirror and that they are, you know, no matter what they're going through, they are, you know, God's people and put here for a reason.

And they, for that reason alone, they are amazing.

And that doesn't minimize the struggle that they might be going through.

So allowing themselves some of that grace that I speak of, taking that next step to getting better, whether it's a walk outside or a call to a loved one or a visit to the doctor or a virtual recovery room or whatever it may be that's going to allow you to start the process and not delay it any longer is what I would recommend.

And that's what I did.

It's putting that proverbial stake in the ground and saying, today's the day and let's go.

I did that 56 days ago and I've never looked back.

Been the best decision of my life by far because it allowed me direction.

It showed me where not only what was the right thing to do, but it pointed me in the right direction of what was the right thing to do for me.

Instead of maybe it wasn't working as a sales executive in cybersecurity anymore.

Maybe it was becoming a therapist and helping others that are battling addiction.

I had no idea, but it pointed me in that direction.

And I'm ever, you know, ever since that day, have been so grateful because now I have a purpose.

It's amazing.

Really is amazing.

And where can listeners find you if they want to know more about you, want to connect separately, how they can connect?

Yeah.

So my website is ironmind advisors.com.

my email address is kenmindadvisors.com I love hearing from people that listen.

I don't like hearing from them, meaning like they enjoyed the episode, things like that.

That makes it all worth it.

So my website is a spot where I like to I put up content on a regular basis.

It talks about my story, which is there's more components to it.

But I try to do a good job of portraying it on my website.

And then via my website are all my, you know, social media accounts and whatnot.

But ironmind, advisors.com or kenirondadvisors.com is the best place to reach me.

And thank you for allowing me to do that.

Amazing.

So, dear listeners, what I'll do is I'll put all the links and the details into the show notes for easy reference.

And with this hope, thank you so much for spending time with us on Mind Meets Machine.

And if today's conversation has resonated with you, then take a moment to reflect on where strength in your life, like, might be asking to be redefined.

Right.

So until next time with this hope.

This is your host, Avik.

And this is Mind Meets Myths.

This is Mind Meets Machine.

And be curious, stay grounded.

And remember that clarity often begins when we stop resisting the pause.

So thank you so much.

Thank you,

Sam.