Hey everyone, Jess here! In our latest episode of "Sex and Money with Jess," we dove into the empowering world of personal finance. I shared insights on how to carve out your own financial path, emphasizing the importance of making decisions that resonate with your unique life story and goals.

We discussed the common trap of following others' financial advice without considering if it aligns with our personal dreams and circumstances. While financial advisors are valuable for their expertise, I reminded listeners that they only see parts of our financial puzzle. As a money coach myself, I admitted that even I seek professional advice, but ultimately, we are the ones responsible for our financial choices.

I shared a story about a friend's dilemma between choosing a high-yield savings account and a credit union offer, highlighting that there's no one-size-fits-all solution in finance. We explored the idea that financial gurus like Rich Dad Poor Dad or Dave Ramsey offer perspectives based on their experiences, but it's crucial to filter their advice through our own life lens.

The episode encourages listeners to ask themselves what they truly want from their financial journey and to seek knowledge to make informed decisions. I stressed the importance of taking responsibility for our financial choices, as they shape our journey and teach us valuable lessons.

We also touched on the dynamic nature of our financial paths, how they can change direction based on new life events or goals, and the power we have to rewrite our financial narratives at any point.

I want you to enjoy the process, learn from it, and get excited about the future they're creating. I believe in the power of personal responsibility and the joy that comes from making our financial journey our own.

Remember, your financial journey is unique, and I'm here to support you every step of the way. Let's continue to grow and thrive together. Can't wait to catch up with you all in the next episode. Until then, keep dreaming big and taking charge of your money story!

Connect with Jess

Website: www.lovealwaysjess.com/getstarted

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/love.always.jess

Hello, welcome to another episode

on Sex and Money with Jess.

2

Today I want to talk about making the

money journey that you're on your own.

3

It's very easy to get caught up in what

other people are telling you to do,

4

but the thing is, is they are not you.

5

They don't know what your dreams, your

goals, your past, any of that looks like.

6

They are looking at your financial

situation from their own lens, their

7

own perspective, their own life story.

8

The only people that I would suggest

listening to are financial advisors.

9

And again, financial advisors are

only looking at pieces of the puzzle.

10

They aren't looking at every

little thing in your life.

11

But They do have historical

knowledge on finance.

12

They've been in the world for a long time.

13

Even myself as a money coach, I

don't know all the ins and outs

14

of investments or retirement.

15

And so I even seek out financial

advisors to assist me because

16

I don't have all the answers.

17

But

18

seeking professional help when it

comes to your finances is helpful.

19

And it's also important to recognize

that you at the end of the day are

20

the one making the decision to do

what you want to do with your money.

21

Someone can advise you what to do.

22

Somebody can suggest, Hey, this is what

I would do if I was in your situation,

23

but ultimately you're responsible.

24

You're the one who has to call the shots.

25

And that can be scary.

26

But also empowering.

27

Think about it this way.

28

You're making a decision to buy

a house similar to me, or to

29

put your money into investments.

30

Or maybe you're deciding between paying

off a credit card or buying a new car.

31

Or maybe you're deciding to

pay down your student loans.

32

Ask for a raise at work, or even

just which bank account to decide

33

to choose between because different

bank accounts offer different

34

interest rates, benefits, etc.

35

Everybody's going to have their opinion.

36

I had a conversation with a friend

recently where I mentioned to

37

them to put their money into a

high yield interest bank account.

38

And I also mentioned to them that

I tend to bank with credit unions.

39

Because they tend to have better

benefits for their clients.

40

And so, I had sent them both the

bank information that I used,

41

and the credit union was offering

42

a money back thing if they were

to put their money in their bank.

43

I think they'd get something

like 3, 700 after a few months.

44

I responded to them saying I would

go with the high interest yield

45

because you're going to make more

money over time than the 3, 700.

46

Yeah, the 3, 700 would be

quick, but that's my opinion.

47

They responded back to me

with, what if I did both?

48

And I'm like, absolutely.

49

Do what you want to do with your money.

50

I have thoughts.

51

I have opinions on how

I would handle my money.

52

It doesn't make it right.

53

Just like, Rich Dad Poor Dad isn't 100

percent right or Dave Ramsey isn't 100

54

percent right or whoever else you listen

to The Financial Feminist Anybody else?

55

Everybody's coming at things from

their perspective from what they've

56

learned from What they've seen work

and not work in their own personal

57

life, and that's okay Nobody's wrong

58

what you have to decide for yourself Is,

from the information you are receiving,

59

what makes the most sense for your money?

60

So some things to ask yourself is, one, is

the person you're talking to, the person

61

you're listening to, a trusted source?

62

Have they walked a similar life to yours?

63

Is their future, or even their current

life, Something that you want to emulate.

64

You know, I often talk to my parents about

some financial decisions that I'm trying

65

to make and I'll get their opinions.

66

Or I'll talk to my partner

and I'll weigh options and

67

I will decide for myself at the

end of the day, what makes more

68

sense for where I am headed.

69

Every once in a while I'll come

across like a Facebook post, Instagram

70

post of somebody suggesting like

a financial way to do something.

71

And I look at it and sometimes

I'm intrigued and I'm like,

72

Oh, I want to try that.

73

I want to see how it works for me.

74

And it's okay to try things

as long as it's not, Going

75

to hurt you in the long run.

76

Right now, I believe I said

it on a previous podcast, I'm

77

playing around with stocks.

78

Me putting 100 into a stock

account every single month isn't

79

going to hurt me financially.

80

Now if I were deciding to put

1, 000 in there a month, that

81

would be a different story.

82

There'd be a lot more risk involved.

83

It would definitely impact my finances.

84

And so that's not something

that I'm choosing to do.

85

And I might talk to Joe Schmo down the

street who would say, yeah, but you're

86

not going to get the bang for your

buck unless you're putting in 1, 000.

87

Because 100 is going to grow you 10,

20, maybe 30 bucks in the long run.

88

But 1, 000, that'll grow you

100, 200, 300 in the long run.

89

So you're going to get more money.

90

If you invest more and while he may not

be wrong, I have to look at my life and

91

I have to say what does the next year,

three years, five years look like for me?

92

What do my current expenses compared

to my current income look like for me?

93

Is this something that I can

risk putting a thousand dollars

94

into different stocks right now?

95

If it doesn't hurt me currently,

and I'm still able to pay my

96

regular bills, put a little bit in

savings, then sure, I might do that.

97

But that risk and reward that could happen

from putting 1, 000 into an investment

98

account doesn't feel right in my soul.

99

Even if it were my financial advisor

who told me to do that, I could

100

take his thoughts and opinions.

101

And I could follow through with it.

102

But say something happened down the road

in two or three months, where I got laid

103

off, or an unexpected expense came up.

104

I'm the one who made the decision to

put the thousand dollars in there.

105

So I can't blame him

when shit hits the fan.

106

Which is why it's important for

you to recognize that you're

107

the one calling the shots.

108

You're the one making the decision.

109

And in my instance, I'm not ready

to risk tying up my money like

110

that, especially when I don't fully

know and understand investments,

111

because I haven't played around in

it as much as I would have liked to.

112

So I'm putting a low risk.

113

I'm playing around, trying it out.

114

You might want to

115

put your money into a CD, or maybe work is

offering like a employee stock plan, and

116

you want to put your money into that, and

you want to play around with your money.

117

It's okay to try things.

118

It's okay to see what

does and doesn't work.

119

But when you make that decision to try

it, You're responsible and you can't say,

120

well, my coworker put in the max amount.

121

So I'm going to do the same thing.

122

Trust me.

123

There are looking back at

my employer's stock plan.

124

When I first started with the

125

stock plan thing rolled around, I

said, I don't have the money right

126

now, so I'm not going to do it.

127

Some of those years paid

out 20, 30, 15, 12, 000.

128

And I was like, gosh darn

it, I really missed out.

129

I could have asked my

parents to borrow the money,

130

but I can't get mad.

131

Hindsight is 20 20, I can't

go back and change it.

132

But for the years that I did invest,

I'm excited to see what the payouts are.

133

And then I'm excited to make a decision

on what to do with those payouts.

134

Do I pay out my student loans?

135

Do I put it in a bank account

for a down payment for my house?

136

Do I go on a trip with it?

137

Like, the sky is the limit as

far as making the decision.

138

But we have a personal responsibility

when it comes to our finances.

139

We also have this unique

thing of our own journey.

140

Where you were yesterday, a year

ago, five years ago, doesn't have

141

to continue to be your story.

142

At any point in time, you can

make the decision to change it.

143

Just like everything else in life,

it is not a set in stone, it has to

144

be this way for the next 100 years.

145

We see the stock market

go in its ebbs and flows.

146

We see billionaires make the wrong

investment and lose all their money.

147

We see people who didn't have the

greatest upbringing grow up and make

148

a fabulous living for themselves.

149

Start a great company.

150

So many things can change.

151

And the journey that you're

on isn't straight and narrow.

152

You can decide to turn left at any point.

153

You can decide to go right

at any moment in time.

154

And as you're traveling along that

road, as you're journeying through

155

life, New things are going to come

up and you're going to say, Hey, what

156

I've been doing for the past five

years doesn't work for me anymore.

157

I've decided I want to retire early.

158

So I need to button down the hatches,

tighten things up, rein myself in, and

159

get things into a nice little neat package

so that I can save as much as possible.

160

invest as much as possible

161

and get myself to early retirement.

162

Or,

163

you know, maybe graduating

college, your focus was on

164

paying off your student loans.

165

And then 10 years later, you

started having children of your own.

166

And you were like,

college is damn expensive.

167

I've been there.

168

And I don't know if my child's

gonna want to go to school.

169

But I'm going to start the process

now to set my child up for success

170

so that they don't have to take out

the same student loans that I did.

171

Whatever your story may be,

your journey is unique to you,

172

which means that your financial

journey is unique to you as well.

173

One of the best things you can

ask yourself is, what do I want?

174

What do you want?

175

Not, what does my father want for me?

176

Not what does my coworker think I

should do with the employee stock plan?

177

What do I want?

178

What do you want?

179

What do you and your partner want?

180

Or even What do I not want to be?

181

What do I not want my

finances to look like?

182

Ask yourself those questions.

183

And then from there, ask yourself,

Do I know enough to get there?

184

Do I know enough of what I need

to do with my money in order

185

to make X, Y, and Z happen?

186

If so, great!

187

Take that knowledge.

188

and figure out your next steps.

189

If not, then spend time learning

about what it takes to get there.

190

Hop on a call with me.

191

Let's talk through it.

192

Get yourself a trusted financial advisor.

193

Talk to a mentor.

194

Go meet with somebody

at a bank and say, hey,

195

tell me about your programs.

196

Begin to educate yourselves on

where it is that you want to be

197

and then use that knowledge

to make an informed decision.

198

One of the biggest things

that I ask clients is what

199

do you want the outcome to be

200

because when we know where we're headed,

we then can figure out a path from

201

where we're at to where we're going.

202

And the great thing about that

path is because it's your own

203

journey and your own choice.

204

At any point, you can say,

this isn't working for me.

205

I am changing the direction I'm going.

206

Sure, maybe you put your money into

a five year CD and you can't take it

207

out of that CD for another five years.

208

That's okay.

209

We pivot in other ways.

210

Or maybe you invested in crypto

like I did and lost money.

211

That's okay.

212

You pivot in other ways.

213

We can always say, This is

the direction I'm going.

214

This is the way that I'm doing it.

215

This is where I'm at.

216

And at any point, we can say yes or no.

217

And then continue forward

with our decision.

218

And we can't blame anybody else.

219

Because we made it ourselves.

220

And that is so empowering.

221

It's empowering to know.

222

That where you are headed, you

yourself are making happen.

223

You might take the advice

of a financial advisor.

224

You might talk to a trusted

source and get their opinion,

225

but you are doing it yourself.

226

You are headed towards your

financial future that you want

227

on the days that you falter, pick

yourself back up and continue going.

228

You're not going to be perfect.

229

God knows I'm not.

230

We all make decisions.

231

In the moment, forward thinking,

past lessons learned, everything

232

is constantly spinning and

informing the choices that we make.

233

It's scary, it's beautiful, it's life.

234

Pause for a moment, think

about where you're at,

235

then ask yourself, where do I want to be

in a year, in two years, in five years,

236

and go from point A to point B.

237

And ask yourself, what do

I need to do to get there?

238

Do I need to educate myself more?

239

Do I just need to buckle down and do it?

240

And then start the process.

241

Begin enjoying that journey.

242

For some of us, that

journey may be boring.

243

Maybe it means you

don't travel for a year.

244

Maybe it means Eating Out Last,

whatever that journey means for you,

245

find ways to enjoy it, find ways to

get excited for where you're going,

246

and then start daydreaming about

what your life is going to look

247

like when you get there, because

you'll get there, I believe in you.

248

It may not look 100%, but you'll get

where you're going when you decide for

249

yourself that I want my story to change.

250

I want to take responsibility

for where I'm going.

251

The change will happen.

252

The growth will happen.

253

It'll be hard.

254

It'll be fun.

255

There will be tears.

256

But you'll get there.

257

And when you do, you'll celebrate.

258

So enjoy the process.

259

Ask yourself the questions.

260

Learn.

261

Figure out what you want

your life to look like.

262

And make this financial journey your own.

263

Because at the end of

the day, it's just you.

264

Or maybe you and a partner.

265

And it's exciting.

266

Money is fun.

267

Money is exciting.

268

I think we get caught up in the,

I'm not there yet conversation.

269

And in reality, when it comes to

money, none of us are there yet.

270

I'm sure Warren Buffett even

wants to do more with his money.

271

Whether or not it's for philanthropy

or generational wealth, somebody

272

somewhere is always thinking

about the more with their money.

273

That I'm not there yet.

274

I can do better.

275

We're all in the same boat.

276

But setting that aside

and saying, I'm here now.

277

I've done great things with

my money up to this point.

278

Whether or not that means your money has

kept you alive via the basic needs of

279

a human being, or you've been able to

take your family on a Disneyland trip,

280

go down to Mexico for a family reunion,

fly to Paris to propose to your partner.

281

Even the small things of a weekend camping

trip, whatever You've been able to do with

282

your money up to this point is fantastic.

283

We're human.

284

We get to enjoy life and we get

to celebrate what money has been

285

able to do for us up to this point,

even if it's negative money in

286

the sense of debt, credit card,

student loan, medical, whatever.

287

Money has been there for us.

288

It's just the stories and the energy

that we put towards certain things as

289

a society that makes it good or bad.

290

But we should be thankful towards money.

291

We should be thankful towards the

journey we've taken to this point

292

because it's taught us lessons.

293

It's given us happy moments.

294

It's given us highs and lows.

295

It's reminded us what

is important in life.

296

Money is just an energy.

297

It's neither good nor bad.

298

It's a part of our life.

299

It's a part of our story.

300

It's a part of our journey.

301

And , when we remind ourselves Our journey

with money is just that the journey.

302

We get to change the

narrative whenever we want.

303

Don't have to stay stuck.

304

We don't have to hold resentment,

we don't have to feel shame.

305

We get to ask for raises and promotions.

306

We get to plan a vacation and

trust me, I've planned plenty

307

of vacations that I've canceled.

308

Because the money wasn't

there right then and then.

309

But that doesn't take away the excitement

that I got from planning the trip.

310

That doesn't mean that the

trip's never going to happen.

311

My priorities changed.

312

Things in my life happened that made me

decide I'm not going to take that trip.

313

COVID.

314

And then I was excited to

go to Costa Rica again.

315

And my mom passed away.

316

And I couldn't bring myself

to leave the country.

317

It didn't feel right.

318

Things happen, life happens, we

can plan all we want, but our

319

journey is going to hit road bumps,

320

and it's exciting to see where

those road bumps lead to.

321

So look at your journey.

322

Where you've been, where you've come from,

and where you're going, and get excited

323

to plan for what you want to do

324

because it's gonna happen

in one way or another.

325

Believe in your journey.

326

Believe in yourself.

327

Have fun.

328

That's all I have for you today.

329

I hope that the rest of your week

goes wonderfully, and I'm excited

330

to talk to you again next week.

331

Have a wonderful,

wonderful rest of your day.

332

Love you all.