Learning to express emotions is crucial for healing, especially for men who often feel society pushes them to suppress their feelings.

In this episode, we chat with Mitch Webb, a nervous system coach, who shares his journey from burnout and anxiety to helping others reclaim their emotional well-being. He talks about how he discovered that true healing begins when we learn to regulate our nervous systems and live authentically.

We discuss the importance of sitting with our emotions instead of trying to push them away, as well as how this process can transform relationships, especially with loved ones.

Together, we explore the idea that embracing our vulnerabilities can lead to profound personal growth and deeper connections.

You can connect with Mitch on his website: mitchwebb.com

And on his social media accounts:

FB: facebook.com/mitch.webb.503

Instagram: @ kmitchwebb

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kmitchwebb

YouTube: youtube.com/@KMitchWebb

Podcast: mitchwebb.com/rooted-conversations-podcast/

And here is the link for a Free Nervous System Quiz:

https://mitch-webb.involve.me/nervous-system-state-quiz

A Warrior’s Spirit can be found on all the major platforms at lnk.bio/daryl_praxis33 as well as on ROKU via the ProsperaTV Network app. Be sure to like or subscribe so you never miss an episode!

The music in this video is copyrighted and used with permission from Raquel & The Joshua 1:8 project © 2025 All Rights Reserved. All rights to the music are owned by Raquel & The Joshua 1:8 project © 2025 All Rights Reserved. You can contact Raquel at https://YourGPSForSuccess.Net

Coming up on this edition of A Warrior Spirit.

You weren't allowed as a man or as a person to have emotions.

You weren't allowed to express them.

And I find in society that is very common for the male version.

Now there are some, you know, females who get shut down as well, but overall, men don't feel like they can express true emotion because society looks at them weird if they do.

So.

Working with people to allow them to feel them and sit with them and express them is a huge element to getting them on their healing path.

A Warrior Spirit provides a platform for independent voices, professionals, and thought leaders to share their insights, experiences, and perspectives.

The views and opinions expressed by hosts and guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Praxis 33 or its affiliates.

Content shared within this program is intended for informational, educational, and inspirational purposes only.

While the host and some guests may be professionals or subject matter experts, the information presented is general in nature and should not replace personalized advice from qualified professionals regarding your individual circumstances.

By viewing this program, you acknowledge that any decisions or actions taken based on the content are your own responsibility.

I've walked through fire with shadows on my heels Scars turn to stories that taught me to feel lost in the silence found in the flame now wear my battle cry without shame this isn't the end it's where I begin A soul that remembers the fire wind welcome.

Back to another episode of A Warrior Spirit brought to you by Praxis33.

I'm your host, Darrell Snow.

Let's dive in.

Hey, welcome back to the show.

And today I have guest Mitch Webb.

Mitch is a nervous system coach.

He helps those who are struggling with anxiety, burnout, and chronic systems.

You think I'd never talk on this thing?

Reconnect with their bodies and reclaim their energy.

And after years of burnout and trying every quick fix, Mitch discovered that the true healing begins when we learn to regulate the nervous system and live in alignment.

Mitch, I appreciate you coming on the show.

I'm sorry for that butchered inner introduction, but after 174 episodes, you'd think I'd get it right.

So my apologies.

Hey, Darrell, thanks for having me, man.

Like the intro said, we don't have to be perfect.

So I think it was right on time.

Thank you.

I appreciate that.

I know that when people go into a profession, whether it be coaching or mentoring or whatever it is, when they're trying to help others, they've been through something themselves that that lead to that.

You're in North Carolina today.

Is that where you were born.

Is that where Mitch started his.

His life?

Yeah.

I'm here in Raleigh, North Carolina, and I grew up about an hour away from here out in the woods.

We call it Alamance County.

Graham.

Burlington.

A little, small town.

Yeah, just an hour outside of Raleigh.

So I grew up in a small town in Iowa, which, you know, small towns can be a blessing and a curse.

You got a lot of freedom to roam and grow and, and do.

But you also have a lot of gravit, a lot of nosy neighbors who know your business.

So we'll.

What was it like in your region?

Man, my experience growing up was a lot of sports.

I didn't have time to do a whole lot other other than that.

You know, I was playing football in the fall and practicing that all summer, and then wrestling or basketball in the winter and then baseball in the summer.

And so that, that kept me busy and out of trouble for the most part, going up.

Did you have a big family or small family, siblings?

I have a younger brother.

He's not with us anymore.

Kind of a, kind of a big family.

You know, my wife's family's a little bit bigger, but, you know, it's me and my sibling and then had my dad's brothers who had a couple kids and same thing, my mom, her mother, her sister doesn't have any kids, and so it's kind of smaller on that side, but I'd say medium.

Yeah.

The loss of a sibling at any age is challenging.

How old were you when your brother passed?

Man, I was probably.

So.

His daughter is around.

Just turned 13, I believe, and so 13, 14 years ago, I just turned 40.

I don't know.

What's the math on that?

About 35, 25.

25.

That sounds about right.

Yeah, yeah, about 25.

That was a huge eye opener for me and part of the reason I do what I do these days.

So may I inquire as to how your brother passed?

He.

It was suicide.

He.

He took his life.

He had, you know, in our family, we.

We really didn't know how to talk about how we felt and emotions weren't something that were encouraged or, you know, I would say accepted, allowed.

And, you know, he had some, some gut stuff going on and got.

Got plugged into the medical system, you know, given a lot of opiates and things like that, and he didn't see or feel a lot of hope with the situation, ended up taking his life.

And so it was, you know, tragedy for me for sure.

I have experienced suicide in my family as well.

So I understand the devastation that is.

And when we, you know, look back, we.

I kind of wonder, what did I miss?

Why wasn't I able to recognize that they needed that extra help?

So was this something that was like, totally a shock to the family or because he had been in a downward spiral?

You know, you could see it headed in a direction that wasn't good.

You know, it's an interesting question, and one of the things that I used to say is I was shocked, but I wasn't surprised.

Meaning, like.

Yes, absolutely.

Took us by surprise.

I mean, it shocked me, but I could understand because he was in so much pain and he didn't see a way out.

He didn't see any answers.

And, you know, part of me was happy that he wasn't suffering anymore.

And there's a part of me that wished I could have done something.

And at that time, I just.

I didn't have the resources.

I didn't have a way of helping him.

Helping him and looking forward and, you know, 15 years, 13 years ago, absolutely could help him.

And, you know, that again, that's part of the reason I got into this.

I didn't want other people to have to go through that and wanted to be able to help when I could.

You also, I'm presuming from the little bit of your story that I, that I do know you also had your own traumas during college that.

That created some other issues.

So what, what happened in college that that created your.

Because you had like some brain injury and you had some traumatic things happening, you know, in that aspect.

So what, what, what happened in your life at that time?

Yeah, man.

I mean, it's.

It started in college and it was like a decade or two.

Two decades of just going through it.

And I'm.

I mean, I am just in a space now, I'd say, really this year where I'm starting to feel like myself again and I can kind of zoom out and see the bigger picture, you know, but for a while, I was just kind of in the washing machine and kind of got chewed up and spit out by the wellness industry.

And that started when I was 20 years old.

I was traveling in Europe, I was partying and fell out of a second story window, hit my head, had a traumatic brain injury.

And from there it was just, you know, breaking out in autoimmune plaque, psoriasis over my entire body.

Very common.

After trauma, started having panic attacks and anxiety, started having insomnia.

You know, at that time, they kind of gave me some medication and sent me on my way.

And that helped until it didn't.

About several years after that, moving to a house that had black mold, developed Lyme disease, which is a tick borne illness, and just went as hard as I could into fixing myself with functional medicine, with diet and exercise, eventually detox and got a lot of help from those things, but ultimately fell into this pattern of trying to fix myself and force healing.

And when we, when we have a threat that we feel like it can't go away, it really tells our nervous system there's a tiger standing at the door and it's always there.

And eventually fell into sensitization is what I'm learning now.

You know, much more happened.

I got another car accident.

I had long haul Covid three, three times.

And it just felt like now kind of coming more out of this.

It just felt like the universe, God, whatever you want to call it, was just really trying to get my attention and going into the same patterns that I learned growing up just reinforced that my body was broken, that there was a problem, that something needed to be fixed.

And it really took seeing that pattern and letting go of fixing myself to recover, to start to recover.

My wife has been chronically ill for a very long time, and part of her residual effects of her breast implant illness has been the brain fog and the autoimmune issues.

The downside, other than the fact that you have them, is that they're an internal injury.

So the rest of the world treats you like you don't have an injury, which makes it hard to recover from your injury because they're not even accepting that you even have this thing.

And I love this quote that you have.

You know, you said I looked the best here but hurt the most.

And obviously, you know, you're in great physical shape, but internally probably pretty broken right there, right?

Yeah, man, that's, that's a great, great pick there.

That's from my CrossFit days.

And really, I mean, at that time, dude, I was fasting like crazy all the time, working out.

Even my body was exhausted even when I was hurting.

And it looked good on paper, but like I said on the inside, I was just, I was hurting and forcing, you know, really trying to fix myself.

So when you determine that you have these nervous systems and auto regulated things, how did you.

Because I don't know that most athletes, you know, spend time with their, regulating their nervous system.

I think most athletes are on the, on the field, you know, honing their craft.

So what led you into the realization that this is really what's affecting Me.

And then what led you into coaching others to get through it?

So what led me to see that it was the nervous system that was.

Was the issue.

And it wasn't, I guess, all these other things that I thought it was.

You know, I was just kind of hopping from one thing to the other, trying to understand, you know, what's wrong with me, what's going on.

And I was the person that would walk into, you know, the doctor's office and they would ask me, why are you here?

You know, because.

On.

Because I looked good on the outside, but on the inside, I had anxiety, I had insomnia, had these, you know, plaque psoriasis all over my body and felt like I was just chasing my tail, trying to think what was, you know, where did I first.

Oh, this is what it is, how it happened.

We have a local men's group that a couple buddies and myself run here in Raleigh.

It's called Men on a Journey.

It's free.

These people are in the Raleigh, North Carolina area.

Give me a shout.

And, you know, in the beginning when they asked me to help run this group, I remember thinking, I'm going to help these poor bastards that have mental health issues.

Because at the time I thought trauma.

I mean, I thought trauma was going to war, you know, being in a bad car accident, which I have been in, but I just never thought that was me.

And I thought everything could be fixed with nutritional deficiencies at the time.

Right.

It makes me laugh now, and it makes sense.

And so we had our first meeting and, you know, we basically go around the room and just say, how are you doing?

And on a scale of 1 to 10, where you at?

And you can get feedback from the group or set boundaries or.

Or not say anything.

And.

And so I just kind of dumped and shared some of the things that I was going through.

And I remember also talking about the book the Body Keeps the Score.

It was my first intro into trauma.

Oddly enough, when I got to the chapter about childhood, about early developmental trauma, childhood trauma, I closed the book.

I. I didn't think that was me at all because I had a.

You know, my parents loved me growing up and took care of me, and I just wasn't able to see.

We would call this, like, lack of attunement.

Like I mentioned earlier, alluded to, emotions weren't a thing in my family.

You know, you suck it up and rub some dirt on it and keep going.

And I was a very highly emotional child.

And what I've learned later is that.

That.

That holding in that emotion is really suppressing and cutting off part of me that is authentic to me, that makes me me.

And I'm saying I'm kind of turning the weapon that was used on my parents back on me, that this isn't allowed.

I can't be vulnerable.

I can't be emotional.

And I just got to suck it up and be tough.

And, you know, all that was packed in there.

And Guy pulled me aside after the.

The talk and said, hey, you talking about that book?

The Body Keeps the Score?

He's like, that's you, man.

And I. I even feel a little bit of grief coming up, you know, when.

When he did that, because it changed my life.

I found myself.

He's.

He sent me to a therapist and ended up finding.

Finding a couple that I liked and just really started to see how that affected me.

And, you know, then I got into a course.

One of my mentors, Irene Lyon, I love her course, Smart body, smart mind.

And I just learned about the nervous system, learned about stress, learned how living in a state of fight or flight creates these symptoms that a lot of times symptoms are blocked emotions and things, things that we're not allowing to come through and that we're suppressing, and the body's just trying to communicate with us in the world, tells us these things are bad and we need to put a band aid on it.

And when I started learning this information about the nervous system, about trauma, about how that affects us, I mean, I'm crying all the time.

I really wasn't someone who cried a lot.

I was very emotional.

And at the time, I could not eat more than meat and salt.

I couldn't exercise for more than 15 minutes at a time because I'd been in a car accident.

And I had long haul Covid for three years in a row.

And, you know, I was just.

I was suffering.

And I would go into therapy and talk about these difficult emotions and situations, and I would burp.

And that was all the tension that I was holding in my fascia.

And when I let that out, I started being able to eat more foods.

And I remember hanging out with a buddy and setting a timer because I couldn't.

I couldn't exercise more than 10 or 15 minutes.

And we were going to split some wood and.

And the timer didn't go off.

I didn't set it.

And we went for like an hour, and I was just shocked.

And so I had been trying to fix myself with diets and supplements and protocols, and everything's going doctor to doctor, you name it.

And Just really kind of punishing myself and trying to fix myself.

And when I turned towards these difficult situations and emotions and started to express myself, it's like I started to get my life back.

And, you know, it feels kind of.

It felt kind of woo woo.

It felt kind of like a miracle when you've been trying to force a square through a circle.

You know, with all the stuff that I was doing, this felt like, it felt like a magic trick.

And I just, I had to learn more.

I've lived some of that life through my wife's situation and some of my own.

And it's amazing to me how even though it's supplements and things like that, it's still pharmaceutical fixes that people either are pushed towards or feel is the magic bullet when actually connecting and aligning with our own body and our own soul and our own regulatory system does more for the healing than any of those things do.

So it's not unique.

It doesn't sound woo to me.

My wife's an energy healer and she does a lot of that energy work.

So I see the effects of it all the time.

Getting ourselves out of our own way to accept that is more of the challenge, it seems.

Yeah, I think that's what I was craving, was just accepting myself and allowing myself to be me.

Yeah.

Right now we're going to take a quick pause and then we'll come back and find out how the transformation, once you accepted yourself, led into your new journey.

We'll be right back.

I make contemporary art about resilience, transformation and what rises after the storm.

Inspired by the desert, my work reflects the strength we all carry, offering a sense of hope and renewal.

I'm Tiffany Featherstone and I invite you to visit tiffanyfeatherstone.com use the code Warrior for a special listener only, limited time offer of 15% off and get your tangible reminder of resilience, hope and becoming.

Hey, welcome back to the show.

We're sitting with Mitch Webb, who is a coach for the regulatory reg.

Regulating his nervous system or regulating the nervous system.

I'll get that right.

But Mitch has been kind enough to share some of his journey that led to that.

Mitch, when you finally figured out that it wasn't the diet, it wasn't the supplements, it was the internal body, how did that get you to then go into creating your, your coaching business here?

And I love the, I love the monkey because we all have a monkey brain trying to juggle, you know, 15 things all at once.

So how did you, how did you go into creating this.

Man, I kind of stole this from Joe Rogan.

I remember there's.

This is so funny because I haven't seen that in a long time, that logo, to be honest.

And I got it.

I think he.

It was like this stoned ape theory.

Have you heard of this?

Where the theory from, you know, consciousness, or how the human brain evolved was through eating psychedelic mushrooms.

I was really into the biohacking world and psychedelics and.

And certainly had some profound experiences on those.

And so I kind of took his.

That.

That stoned ape theory.

It was basically this shirt that he had is called, like, higher primate, if I.

If I remember correctly.

And then it was like a Shiva monkey.

I think that's an Indian God.

I hope I'm not butchering that.

I'm not certain.

And then I just took these different things that I was really interested in.

You know, you've got food and sunlight and movement and cold, and the heart is, you know.

You know, love.

And, you know, that's kind of what I've been doing, is taking these things that I've learned over the years for 20 decades, or 20 decades.

If I was 20 decades, man, I'd be a whole lot older.

Two decades of just accumulating knowledge and sharing, and I'm constantly updating that and.

And sharing that with other people.

So that's kind of how that was born.

It.

Sometimes when we go through the traumas that we've gone through, it feels like 20 decades just to get the out.

Yeah, brother.

Yeah, for sure.

So, but what made you then decide that you had to help others?

Because you could have just helped yourself and moved on with whatever you were doing.

But, you know, this has led you into coaching, speaking.

You're on podcasts.

I mean, heck, even.

Even had your own podcast, which you also have the logo on.

So, you know.

You know, so how.

How did it lead you into all this,.

Man?

Everything just felt so damn confusing when I got into it.

It was like as soon as I would learn something, it would contradict itself, you know, Or I'd find a product at the grocery store that I like, and then I would learn more about labels and see that there's something else in it that I don't like.

Now, that's a whole nother issue that we see in the wellness world of, like, catastrophizing and demonizing everything.

And this is bad.

That's bad.

But another thing that kind of happened at that time was, you know, I was dealing.

I was living in a house that had black mold.

I was taking a Ton of benzos.

So like Klodopin, Xanax type of thing to help me sleep.

And they quit working and that scared me bad enough and I, I got lucky.

I asked a friend for help.

I thought I had a drug problem and I went in to see a functional medicine doctor and they're like, let's, you know, let's do a four hour intake.

And you know, they started asking me about my environment at home.

And you know, I, I was like, you know, we were renting at the time as a, is an older house, but we weren't aware that it had black mold in it.

And so I, I found that and was dealing with the, the Lyme and detoxing from that.

I had heavy metals, I was borderline diabetic.

And so we were working on all of that stuff and going into the office at this doctor where they're treating a lot of Lyme patients.

Lyme is a tick borne illness and Lyme and mold kind of mirror each other with the symptoms which are going to be things like brain fog and pain and you know, anxiety, insomnia kind of fit a lot of the things that I was dealing with.

And I would see people in such bad shape and I mean like drooling on themselves, comatose, just staring off into space.

And I would not accept the diagnosis.

And I started trying everything.

I mean, it's kind of funny thinking about this now and talking about this because this is the pattern that ultimately landed me in the sensitization and at the time it allowed me to survive.

That's typically how these things work.

You know, we want to demonize the survival pattern.

And that would be something like, could be people pleasing all or nothing thinking, intellectualization, addiction, whatever that is.

And we want to say that that's wrong, but it really, it was intelligent and it saved my life and, and then eventually it was taking from me and I had to put that down and learn something new.

But it saved my ass in the beginning.

And so it just made me relentless in my pursuit of getting better.

And as I did that, you know, I would, I couldn't, I couldn't just sit there and watch everybody else suffer.

I felt like I was the only one getting better in this office.

And the doctors thought I was an anomaly because everybody else is just getting their ass kicked.

And so I'd be sitting in those waiting rooms and I'd go, hey, what's going on?

And they tell me the different symptoms they had and I'd say, oh yeah, I had that too.

And this is What I've done, I started doing this and this and this and this and this and.

And then we would stay in touch and kind of pump each other up.

And whenever things, whenever we'd find something that helped, I'd want to share that.

And that gave me such a sense of purpose or I love doing that.

And it felt a whole lot better than the corporate sales job that I had at the time.

And I was miserable in the sales job partly because of the symptoms and, you know, working with my family at the time, but the feeling that I got helping someone just reinforced that this is what I want to do, and I just kept following that.

I'm curious as you're talking.

You mentioned earlier on that you are married.

Were you married throughout all of this or when did you meet your wife and, you know, marry your wife?

Man, you're pulling on the emotional strings today, brother.

It's my job.

Yeah, man, good job.

I'm an interviewer too, so I get it.

And I also do all the therapy work, so I'm comfortable in the, in the emotion.

It's fine.

But yeah, she's.

She's been there the whole time, man.

She, she saw the worst of it.

And when I, when I wanted to leave, you know, a six figure income and a, you know, sales job that I thought I'd be there for the rest of my life, it kind of.

I felt like I was just really set up to kick butt.

And so a lot of people were telling me I was crazy to leave and because eventually it was my family business, eventually I'd probably take over it and run a $30 million business.

And when I wanted to leave because I was so unhappy, she and one other friend are the only ones supporting me.

And she's always been right there through some of the toughest experiences of my life.

And, and, and now when things are better, it's just.

It's so awesome to be able to be there for her and love her like I've.

Like she loved me.

It's amazing when we find the person who will support us through our darkest times, because we know then they're there for our beautiful times.

They're not just there for the glory.

May I ask how you met your wife?

So I met her on a private island off the coast of Wilmington, North Carolina, on a KY Jelly Slip and slide.

True love story.

Yeah.

Yeah, it was July 4th.

Me and my buddies rented a boat.

It's called Masonburg Island.

Everybody goes out there to party on on July 4th.

And we were in a boat, went out there.

And I just broke up with this girl.

I was not in the interested in girls.

I just had my heart broken by an ex girlfriend.

And I was like, I'm done, and I want.

I'm done with women.

And.

And my friend was just telling me, like, he was dating.

So I knew her best friend, and he was like, man, I tell you what, if I.

If I wasn't dating this girl, I'd date her best friend, Katie.

She love her.

And we went that day and, you know, I was kind of.

I was watching all my buddies try to hit on her, and she wasn't having it.

And by the end of the day, I kind of worked my way over there a little bit.

And, you know, we kind of.

We hit it off and we were.

We were best friends before we were ever, you know, boyfriend, girlfriend kind of thing.

She's too special.

Well, I'm glad that you have that in your life.

In order to get through a lot of this, you know, many of us turn to our spiritual connection.

Did you grow up having a relationship with God?

Or did this bring you to it?

Or did.

Did it.

Was it just you on your own?

Like, what was your spiritual connection during all this?

So growing up, my.

I was.

I went to Christian school.

My family was very religious and very.

It was like, kind of.

I had a therapist one time, we were talking about it, and she was like, oh, you have that beat your ass Baptist or something like that.

And so it was always, you know, fire and brimstone.

You're gonna go to hell if you're bad.

And I was.

I thought I was wrong and bad, bad, and that I was a sinner.

And so.

And I know that's not all what religion is, but that was the message that I took.

And I didn't.

Like.

Yeah, it made me feel like I was always doing something wrong and like I needed to repent or I was going to, you know, burn in hell.

And, you know, I was.

I was punished if I didn't go to certain church gatherings.

And, you know, there's all these rules, and I just hated it.

And so where I found my spiritual path would be through this journey.

I had a mentor who was a medical medium, and she would communicate with spirit guides and God.

And it was very different than the God that I learned growing up.

And it felt more like a relationship and something I was interested in and something that I could go to.

And so.

So somewhere along the way, I. I don't know if I ever accepted the Christian faith.

And there's no no shade on anybody that does that.

I have lots of friends and family that are still into that, but it's not for me.

But more the spiritual side, I can certainly connect to, you know, the soul and spirit guides and ancestors.

And I just can't get down with this idea of heaven and hell and, you know, good or bad, certainly there's good and evil.

But the way.

What I learned from her, my medical medium, mentor, that resonated a whole lot more with me.

It felt like a relationship.

It felt like love.

It didn't feel like I was going to get my ass kicked.

Yeah.

I am a reformed Catholic.

I openly say that religion is the worst thing that happened to God because many religions do teach it through the fire and brimstone punishment version versus the connection love, let's have a relationship version.

And I think it's a shame when people who could really benefit from a connection are only taught that they have to act a certain way in order to receive it.

And, you know, that kind of does God an injustice, in my opinion.

So.

I understand all that you're talking about.

Do you have.

Do you and your wife have children?

No, no children.

Two dogs.

Well, fur babies are children, too, so.

They are in big trouble today.

What are they out doing?

They're supposed to be my guard dogs.

Yeah.

And right now they're guarding the garden.

And this morning I go out there and I've got.

I've got like, a couple raised beds that are, you know, they're.

They've got netting around it.

So they.

Because they got into them, and there's.

There's two other zucchini plants that I had out that are closer to the house because they're potted plants.

And some.

They.

One of them just kept nipping at it.

And, you know, we don't.

We don't beat our dogs.

But I walked over to him and I was like, don't do this.

You know, like, what are you doing?

What did you do this?

And they, you know, they get all ashamed.

Yeah.

And, you know, I. I remember Gold.

I put that down.

He.

He.

He was butt hurt.

And I came back and was, like, loving on him.

I was like, look, man, just don't get in my.

Like, you gotta protect this.

Don't get into my garden.

And I went inside, I called my wife.

I'm like, what can I do?

Like, where can I put the plants?

Because these dogs just keep getting into it.

And she's like, oh, grab my.

These little whatever from the garage and put them on top of the table.

Well, I went out there and they had jerked all my zucchini plants, ripped them out.

And so he did not like his little discipline moment.

And he was letting me know.

And so they're on there.

They're on my shit list right now.

He had rebelled against your punishment.

I was like, okay, I hear you, brother.

That's hilarious.

When you find people circling back to your experiences.

Because, you know, I think that when we get on our healing journey, it is truly a journey.

I don't feel that it's ever a final destination.

I think, you know, it leads us to uncover more shit that we've had buried down there that's affecting us.

And as we release what we're able to at that time, the deeper stuff allows to come forward and come out in its own time as well.

And it bothers me when I hear these coaches coach.

Oh, just get over it.

Well, no, learn to sit with it and deal with it and move through it, not get over it.

Do you subscribe to that philosophy?

Which one?

The sit with it or the get over it?

Well, which one do you subscribe to?

You know, it's funny, I could argue it.

Well, I would.

I'm obviously going to go with the sit with it crowd.

And I think there's a time, actually, I can't argue.

Get over it.

I guess I'm kind of thinking more like discipline, and discipline's overrated as well.

So how am I going to get myself out of this?

Honestly?

Yeah, you know, I think learning.

Well, first we have to be aware, so we need education.

That's the first step in my process is learning what's going on.

Learning the physiology of stress, learning how the nervous system functions and what stress does to our body, then I think we're building capacity to be with the uncomfortable things in our.

In our body that we've been avoiding.

A lot of us are living in our head, thinking our way to safety and, you know, never going below the neck.

And we gotta do that in a slow, titrated way.

And eventually we learn to sit with it.

We learn to accept it, to allow it to be here without trying to shut it down, without trying to fix it, figure it out, force it.

A lot of F words.

Fight it.

A lot of F words.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's coming from Dr. John Sarno.

It's kind of like the brain retraining world for those of us that are stuck in sensitization.

A little bit different than the nervous system regulation, you know, and in that titration period where we're learning to Be.

To sit with it and be uncomfortable in uncomfortableness.

We want to kind of pendulate and feel something that feels good and then go into the difficult stuff.

And eventually we move into this.

Removing the resistance.

Resistance and the, and the coping mechanisms that we have or the, the compulsive responses we have to feeling uncomfortable.

And eventually we're learning to sit with it.

And I think the, the last step that I have in my process is to.

Is to express it.

To express our emotions and express what's being held.

We have to have capacity for that, the capacity to be with it.

Just like capacity.

When I say capacity, I mean like, you know, you don't go into the gym day one and deadlift 500 pounds.

Just like, you don't, you know, go into your deepest trauma on day one.

All that to say, I guess I am team sit with it.

I guess I can also come from the angle of when I, when I kind of go into the get over it.

That's more in the accepting and allowing process.

People that I work with who are sensitized, they tend to almost get agoraphobic, meaning they don't.

Their life gets really small and they don't leave the house because symptoms are so overwhelming.

We start to think that whatever I did yesterday is why I'm feeling this anxiety, this fatigue.

And I'm going to sit on this couch and rest until I get better.

And I am not knocking rest.

Rest is important.

But if we find ourselves in this position, this is where I move into the David Goggins kind of mode.

I could talk shit about David Goggins all day long.

It's a lot of overriding, you know, and sometimes we gotta do shit that's uncomfortable and do our life with the symptoms, with the fatigue, with the anxiety.

And that is a massive antidote to someone whose life has gotten small and they're avoiding life.

And so that's kind of where I can say maybe it's an end.

It's not an or, but, you know, I'd say 90% of it is the sitting width and 10%, maybe it takes 30%, but it's just doing life with it.

And that's a, that's a big.

That was a big turning point for me as well.

Yeah, I think the moving through it is kind of in alignment with what you and I are both talking about.

You know, we.

We learn to deal, like.

Learning to live with what we're dealing with so that we still live versus allowing what we're dealing with to cement us in one place, you know, people have said all the time, you're not a tree.

You can pick up and move like, like, you know, so don't get so rooted in your issue that you don't do, but move through it so that you're learning to regulate it, to move past it.

And you said a couple of things that I resonate with or want to discuss further.

First, people ask me as a coach all the time, well, what do you say?

What do you say?

Blah, blah, blah.

Well, if you aren't even willing to accept that you have this or aren't even willing to accept that you want help, then nothing I say is going to help.

So when you set awareness, I think that's a huge starting point and then willingness to do something about it.

You know.

The second thing that you said is that you weren't allowed as a man or as a person to have emotions.

You weren't allowed to express them.

And I find in society that is very common for the male version.

Now there are some, you know, females who get shut down as well.

But overall, men don't feel like they can express true emotion because society looks at them weird if they, if they do.

So working with people to allow them to feel them and feel, sit with them and express them is a huge element to getting them on their healing path.

So when you started to actually feel your emotions, do you see where that started to actually heal some of your process?

Oh, yeah, because I could name, I could name what's going on instead of like this mental gymnastics of constantly scanning my body and feeling so damn uncomfortable and not knowing what's going on.

The first person I worked with taught me how to slow down and do like tapping eft Emotional Freedom technique and just tapping these different points on my body and slowing down and moving into the sensations that I was experiencing my body and going like, oh, I'm pissed right now.

You know, oh, I'm sad.

Like, oh, man, I'm overwhelmed.

And it's like every time I started to do that, it was like letting a little bit of air out of the brew, out of the balloon, and I would have all this emotion come out.

And something I learned for the guys back then that really helped me is that tears carry stress hormones, that they've got adrenaline and cortisol and norepinephrine and this is literally trauma leaving the body, stress and tension leaving the body.

And so when I would cry and get emotional before, I would feel like I'm being weak or, you know, something's wrong with me.

And then I started to get excited about it.

And it's like we change through relationship and relationship to ourself.

And I think that's what was going on.

There is.

I was relating to what was going on to me, with me in a different way.

Instead of saying, I'm broken, there's something wrong with me, we've recognized that there's nothing actually wrong with me.

I'm not broken.

That's one of the first things I talk to my clients about it.

My body's actually responding really well to the environments and the things that I've rehearsed and things of the conditioning that I've had and things that I've learned of what it means to be a man.

And as I open up that definition and I allow and I see what's in there and I move towards what's difficult and willing to meet it and attune to it, express it, then it was like, you know, I could, I could feel it, I could see the results and.

And you know, I was just, I was all in after that.

So I'm going to ask you to kind of ponder for a minute and take the, take the medical healing ailments part out of it.

Just go to the mental part for a second.

Who is Mitch Webb today versus who Mitch Webb, the corporate guy was several years ago?

Oh, man, I'm just, I'm more me.

I'm.

I'm authentic now.

I, I express myself like, like me.

And I learned to do that more and more all the time back then.

You know, my superpowers being a chameleon and shape shifting and pleasing whoever was in front of me to.

I thought it was to make them feel comfortable.

It was to make, it was to make me feel comfortable.

And that was one of the first things I learned in therapy.

It was like my therapist goes, my first therapist, she said, why are you here?

And I'm like, I want to get rid of this fucking anxiety.

She said, that's not going to work.

That's your body communicating with you.

That's a good thing.

We got to find out something else.

And eventually I learned, oh, I just want to feel safe expressing myself authentically.

And the feedback that I get all the time from my friends, my wife, like Mitch is unapologetically him.

Like, he has no problem telling you how he feels.

If he doesn't like it, he's not into it.

If he loves it, he's into it.

And I always change my mind.

I change my mind all the time, constantly learning and updating and that, that's the big difference is, and I think that's such a big part of healing, is authenticity and being able to express ourselves.

And it's so funny how the world is kind of set up to teach us to be controlled by looking to the outside and suppressing our true nature, our life force energy, our authenticity, and trying to be like everyone else.

And really the, the real healing mat.

And when we suppress that, we get sick.

And when we can be in touch with who we are and we can let that out and feel safe doing that, that's a big step.

It's funny, I'm writing a speech that I'm giving coming up, and it's all about authenticity and being our true selves.

So I totally connect.

I look back, I'm 60 something and I look back and I'm like, oh, that's a younger version of who I am today.

I wish I would have been that at 40, because I would have given 20 extra years to actually enjoy that authentic part of me.

How did stepping into your authenticity.

And I know your wife is very special to you, just as mine is to me.

I feel she helped save my life in ways she'll never know.

But how did your relationship improve with her once you became more authentic?

In the beginning, it was probably rocky.

Well, it just, I shook things up, man, because we were both in our programs, our trauma responses, this part of us that we want to show to the world.

And as I started to practice on her, the things that I was learning, you know, the people that are closest to us, they're typically going to get that sometimes, whenever we start to do this work, there's little.

I've seen different courses where it's like, hey, send this to your friends and family.

Hey, man, this guy is waking up to his true self and going to be moving through some, some weird stuff.

And it tends to spill out on the people that we love.

And so in the beginning, you know, it's kind of like a baby snake new venom.

I don't know how to let that out yet.

You know, it's.

That's how a baby snake can kill you because it doesn't know how to use its venom.

And it may unload all of it on a, on a victim, you know.

And so my wife got the ass into that a couple times.

But over time, as we slowed things down and started to be able to express what was going on and improve the relationship, you know, kind of a funny part for me was, you know, maybe a year into the work and going, you know, babe, I want you to do this work with me.

I want us to heal together and grow together.

And I, you know, as you do this work, the things that you work through, you start to see it everywhere.

And I could see it in my wife, and I could see it in society.

And I'm like, hey, you got some shit, too, you know?

And it's typically unconscious for the other person until you bring it into the conscious and you're willing, you know.

And so she still had her defense mechanisms up.

And when I said that she thought.

I thought I was going to get the Husband of the year award for talking about emotional stuff.

Typically, the men are the ones that go second in the relationship.

Well, it was me to go first in our relationship.

And she said, you're offending me.

I was like, what?

You know, and so I remember walking away, like, I'm gonna go for a walk, and I call my buddy.

Like, she just told me she's offended at me.

I thought I was, like, getting husband of the year award here.

And he said, I'm gonna tell you what you told me.

Like, what's that?

He's like, we do this work when we're ready.

You know, nobody can tell us when to do it.

I was like, okay, yeah, yeah.

And so I just kind of came back, and I'm like, hey, I get it.

I understand.

And I'm sorry I said that, and I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

And, you know, we just kind of left it at that.

Well, about six months later, I came home, and she was like, I'm going to start going to therapy more.

You know, I was shocked.

I'm like, why would you do that?

And she said, you know, I want what you have.

She said, you know, when we get in arguments now, you're able to, like, be quiet.

You don't blow up like you used to, and you slow down, you tell me what you're feeling, you tell me what upsets you, you tell me what you need.

And just, like, what I was going through, she's like, I feel all these things, but I shut down.

I don't know how to express myself.

And that made me feel so good.

One, because she could see the benefits that it had for me, and it made our relationship so much better because we could communicate through difficult stuff instead of freaking out and blowing up and getting upset at each other.

There was actually a turning point in our relationship, too, where growing up, a big.

A big win for me was that whenever I was emotional, vulnerable, you know, expressing myself, I felt like I was dismissed and then gaslit.

And so they would react and act like, you know, this isn't true.

My wife was doing the same thing.

And we all are doing that, you know, until we can see it.

And.

And I just.

I got really stern one night and I'm like, I will not be in a relationship where I'm continued to be dismissed and gaslit.

If you want to do this with me, I need you to participate and I'll walk away right now.

The thing that's important to me now as I've gone through this work, is having someone that can attune, that can have a conversation, that we're not falling into these old patterns.

And I'm willing to meet you there and I'll go through it with you, but I need you to work on this.

And she heard me.

And, you know, it's.

Now our fights are.

We still have fights.

We're not perfect, but, you know, we're able to express ourselves and say what we need, and we walk away if we're upset and we come back and able to just kind of actually have a relationship instead of getting reactive and going into our patterns.

Like it feels like a partnership now.

And that's the beauty of being emotionally regulated, is that we.

And.

And I was a very violent, angry person.

So when I learned to not be that person, it definitely made every relationship, including the one with my wife, extremely better, you know, and that's the.

That's the beauty of the awareness and doing the work and then doing it with someone who wants to do it with you.

Because now your friendship that you had, the love that you had, the relationship, what you had just deepens and becomes even more beautiful than anything we ever thought we could ever have.

So I'm glad that you have that with your wife and that you were able to find that.

I'm going to ask you one last question that I ask all my guests.

What does a warrior spirit or having a warrior spirit mean to Mitch Webb?

That's a really good question.

What does it mean to have a warrior spirit?

I think having a warrior spirit is being willing to go against the grain, to do things different, to observe yourself.

You know, we heal through observation, to be able to zoom out and see, kind of take inventory, to be with what's uncomfortable and to be willing to sit in that fire and know that, you know, we're not going to be burned, that.

To kind of stare fear in the.

In the eyes and take a step forward anyways, do the things that are uncomfortable.

And through that process.

That's how we sharpen the sword.

That's how we become our authentic self instead of the.

The patterns that we've taken on.

To feel safe and to control and to do that is.

It's difficult.

It's like you said, it's definitely a journey.

And when we're willing to trust ourselves and move through that and heal, that's.

That's what it is to be human.

Everything in society is set up to squash that, to control you, to poison you, to distract you, to overstimulate you and numb all that and act like it's not happening.

And it's quite the waking up process to see that and to choose something that's.

That's more authentic, I would say.

I love that version of the definition.

It resonates.

So I just appreciate that you took time out of your day to share your journey here with us and, you know, if you ever need anything, you know, please reach out and just ask.

I love what you're doing and.

And what you're about.

So thank you.

Likewise.

Thanks, man.

I feel like this was a therapy session for me.

I haven't cried as much on a podcast episode in a long time.

I'll put the bill in the mail.

I'm gonna go hug my wife after this.

There you go.

And if you want to get in touch with Mitch, you can do so on his website, MitchWeb.com or on his social media accounts, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube, and on his podcast, Rooted Conversations.

So, as always, thank you for joining us on this edition of A Warrior Spirit.

We're now on all the major platforms as well as on Roku via the primary ProsperityV app and@breakthroughradio.net so be sure to like or subscribe to catch all the episodes.

As always, the journey is sacred.

The warrior is you.

So remember to be inspired, be empowered, and embrace the spirit of the warrior within.

Sam.