Women leaders who want to eliminate imposter syndrome leverage Stacy Brookman and her confident leadership coaching to clarify their power skills and confidently command their seat at the table. She’s a women’s leadership coach, a conference speaker, and the founder of Real Life Resilience. Take the What’s Your Leadership Kryptonite? Quiz: https://www.realliferesilience.com/quiz

Social media links

https://www.linkedin.com/in/stacybrookman/

Link to website

https://www.realliferesilience.com

Primary Topic: Introversion and Leadership

- Definition of introversion and how it relates to gaining and draining energy

- How introversion can coexist with being an amazing leader

- Cultivation of leaders at any age and the role of upbringing and experiences

Primary Topic: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

- Work focused on helping women leaders overcome imposter syndrome

- The indicators of hidden imposter syndrome, such as people-pleasing and perfectionism

- The development of internal confidence after overcoming imposter syndrome

Primary Topic: Career Journey as an Introvert

- Starting at a corporation in the insurance industry from a low level

- Personal development and acquiring a degree while working in a male-dominated environment

- The role of imposter syndrome in the career journey

Primary Topic: Thought Ladders and Emotional Management

- The use of thought ladders as a practice to improve confidence and leadership

- The importance of managing emotions and the misconception that coaching conflicts with therapy

- Importance of understanding and managing emotions for everyone, not just those in therapy

Primary Topic: Self-Care and Recharging as an Introvert

- The preferred method of recharging: taking a bubble bath with a good book in a peaceful setting

- The role of self-care in maintaining energy levels and mental well-being for introverts

Primary Topic: Personal Philosophy and Social Media Presence

- The primary platform for networking and sharing resources: LinkedIn

- The availability of free resources such as the thought ladder guide on real life resilience.com

- Be open to messaging and provide resources to those who reach out

Primary Topic: Light-hearted Conversation

- The playful question of whether a hot dog is a sandwich

- Engaging in humor and light-hearted discussions in professional conversations

- A lighthearted end to the podcast with details about where to find more information about the guest

This comprehensive sequence captures the key topics and subtopics covered in the podcast episode. Each primary topic and its associated subtopics provide a detailed overview of the conversation between the host and guest.

Hello, and welcome to another episode of Travelling Introvert Career Conversations. Today I have the 1, the only Stacey Brookman here with me today. How are you today, Stacey?

I'm doing fabulous.

Oh, that is great to hear. I like The. You're doing fabulous. So, I'm gonna start with the same question I ask everybody just to make it fair. What does introversion mean to you?

Oh, what does introversion mean to me? Introversion or introvert is really about someone who, gains energy by either being alone or with a very small group of people and drains energy by being with a huge group of people, a large group of people. And either way is fine. You can live an amazing life. You could be an amazing leader either way, but it's all about that energy, figuring things out.

Okay. So you mentioned leader, which leads me to the next question I guess is in your opinion, are leaders born or cultivated?

Oh, I truly believe that leaders are cultivated. Now some leaders can be cultivated at a young age, right, or by by their, the people who raise them, by their experiences early on in life, but there is no age that you can turn into and that not turn into a leader. You could turn into a leader at any age whatsoever. So it's a matter of actually, I don't even believe the fake it till you make it. I hate that. I hate it when people say that. Yes.

Me too.

But because it's not true. That's not true. Fake it till you make it. But you can develop yourself into a leader and become a leader whether you're a leader of people, leader of ideas, or leader of, you know, whatever thought you can become a leader at any age, it is completely possible. You're it's in your control.

Yes. Okay. So then, I, I, yeah, I really love everything about that. Can you tell us a little bit about the work that you do? Because you sound very passionate about it.

I am very passionate about it. Yes. The work that I do primarily with leaders and mostly women leaders and helping them to overcome imposter syndrome and the the subsequent things that come with impostor syndrome, which is people pleasing, overwork, perfectionism, and overwhelm. Those are actually, things that are indicators of hidden imposter syndrome and what develops when you get rid of that imposter syndrome and you come into your own leadership is you develop internal comfortable confidence. I was like, I climbed the corporate ladder and I never felt like I was good enough at any level. Like, I I kept climbing. I skipped some levels. I was climbing all the way to the top, and I never felt like I would I always felt like the least person there.

I was like, you know, coming in by The side door and, and hoping nobody noticed me in the room of other leaders when I had every freaking right to be there. And, you know, in my head, I knew I I knew that, but I in my heart, I did not. And so I wanna give women a shortcut or any leader, a shortcut to develop that genuine confidence, that confidence that radiates from the inside that they don't have to fake it till till you make it.

Alright. Yeah. And that's really interesting.

I'm very passionate about it.

Yeah. And you mentioned that you kind of previously before doing the work that you do now, that you were in corporate. And so do you wanna just wanna give us a quick flash of sort of how your career moved in, say

Yeah. Sure. So being an introvert, this is really interesting. I started at a corporation. I don't know if you could say it on here, but it was like, I I was in in in the insurance industry, major player in the insurance industry, and I started lower than a secretary. I was like a clerk, the lowest person on the totem pole, and I had to get a promotion to become a secretary. And then I didn't have a degree at the time, and so and I had this little chip on my shoulder. I'm like, I am destined for something else.

I knee I I want to do more, but I felt like at the time I was constrained by my education or lack of it at the time. Now it's not so much of a big deal, but back then it was. And so I trained myself for 2 years to become an auto estimator. I was in tow lots, and body shops writing estimates alongside of the estimators. And I created my own opportunity by becoming one of the 1st women auto estimators that the company had. And and so that was a very proud moment for me because I'm like, I'm there, and then you don't become a real estimator until you get kicked out of a body shop, and it took me 7 months to do that. But anyway, it was it was it was something that I could do, and then I finally did get my degree and just moved up and moved up and moved up. And I I I did some really hard things in my life.

But one of the things as an introvert that I did and never and and never feeling good enough in imposter syndrome was I kept getting more education. I knew it was that education. In my head, I thought it was education. And, yeah. And at one point, get this, I had more letters after my name than I actually had in my name, my first, middle, and last name. I had more letters trailing, and I thought that was it. And guess what? It wasn't it. That did not give me confidence.

That wasn't it. I still felt it. So when I, I became, life coach certified, heart rate certified, and when I realized it is the thoughts that I think about myself and the thoughts that I think about the world around me and the circumstances around me The that, I mean, that really drive that confidence. Oh my gosh. That was a game changer. It was it's huge. Huge.

I thought some very powerful things. Thoughts are very powerful things. And and so with that in mind, because you you moved from working for an organization to having your own business, Can you tell me something you've encountered while growing your own business that can be used by your clients?

Oh, yes. I I use thought letters all the time. So here's here's what I know. Affirmations don't work if your brain doesn't believe them 100%. So I can say, I'm an amazing leader or I'm an amazing coach, but if my brain doesn't really believe it on the inside, that's just doing me more harm than good to paste it everywhere and say it to myself. I'm the most amazing leader, but really that little, you know, thought in my head. Well, not really. You wish you were.

Right? That sort of thing. And that happens all the time. So what I believe in is using thought ladders. So what's the, like, if you're creating a a ladder, the top rung thought is I'm an amazing leader. The bottom rung thought is I should not even be here. They made a mistake. I in fact, I I created a, a a thought ladder, how to create thought ladders for my clients because I saw so many of The. CEO not CEO, c COOs, directors, huge like, they have these big jobs.

They've just gotten the jobs, and they still said, some of them, they must have picked the wrong person. They must not had very many candidates to pick me. No. You were the perfect person for the job. So if the thought the bottom wrong thought is, you know, I don't, I sh I can't do this. I'm I'm terrible at leading, Right? Or I don't know how to lead. What is 10% better? Just 10% better that your brain can believe. And I'll just give you a quick example because we're we won't go through the whole thing.

But just a quick example is I love putting the word possible in there and learning. So it's possible that I can learn to be a great leader now is that, can you, can you get your brain wrapped around that? That's what you should put on sticky notes on your bathroom mirror, in your car, on your computer. Right? It's possible that I can learn to become a great leader and then sit with that one for 3, 4 days or a week or however long it takes for you to, like, a 100% it's embedded in you. Right? And then you can move on. What's 10% better than that until you get, I'm a great leader. And I'll tell you when I got to the thought so I use this in my own life as a coach with my clients, but also with myself. When I got to the point where I said, I'm an amazing coach. I can tell you I'm an amazing coach, and I am.

I ran out the door, the middle of the street. I'm like, I'm an amazing coach. And I 100% believed it and had that confidence, that confidence that I was. And it was because of that thought ladder, and anybody can use thought ladders. So cool.

Alright. So I'm going to take that as something you do regularly that has helped improve your career or business. What is something that you say no to?

Oh, something that I say no to. Oh, well, often often I try to I try to say no to, ruminating about problems because ruminating about them causes it takes up bandwidth in your head. Right? So I had, something, broken in my, you know, funnel where with somebody schedules an appointment, they don't get a reminder. And I ruminate. I'm like, it's tech stuff. I don't wanna mess with it. Yes. I can do it, but I don't want The, and I let that sucker drag on for a month, but I try not to ruminate about it.

So this week, I said, you know what? I'm gonna figure it out. I'm not gonna let The. So I say no to rumination. Most of the time, I'm not perfect. So I try because it's like, it doesn't do you any good to write. It doesn't it brings you down. It it, it may it messes with your emotions, and our emotions are what drive our actions. So our thoughts drive our emotions, and our emotions drive our actions, and our actions drive our results.

So ruminating does not do any good for you in terms of what emotions or actions or results you get.

Yeah. It costs you. It costs you more.

It costs you. Absolutely.

Yeah. What is the cost of of doing that rumination? And, yeah, you can let yourself, like, sit in it 5 minutes, but then, like

I I'll tell you. I did do that for one thing. I was, like, so mad. I went I went to the DMV. Oh, wow. Motor vehicle. Things didn't go well. And and so I came home and I stomped around, and I'm like, yes.

I can do a thought letter on this, but you know what? I want to be mad. So I'm gonna let myself be mad for 2 hours. I gave myself a time limit. I'm gonna ruminate. I'm gonna let myself be mad for 2 hours, and then I'm gonna move on. Because I know that's best for me is to move on, but I wanted to be mad about it. So I'm like, okay. You could be mad, girl, for 2 2 hours.

And then There you go. Cut it off. Alright. And so with the work that you do, can you tell me some maybe common misconceptions that people have about you your work or your industry?

Oh, yes. One of the misconceptions in around the coaching industry is that it conflicts with therapy. Oh, are you trying to do therapy? No. In fact, I have worked with people who have had therapists and we work in conjunction. So coaching does not conflict with therapy. Therapy is often looking back at your past The unravel it. Coaching helps people look forward and plan to be how they want to be despite their past. Like, you it doesn't matter what kind of past you have.

You can create the future that you want, and it's also about finding out about your emotions. So I mentioned emotions because our thoughts create our emotions and our emotions create all the actions. Everything we do every day is is because of emotions. So allowing people to feel those emotions and teaching them how to allow feel those emotions and helping people become the manager of their own emotions, right? Everyone needs to do that. Not just people in therapy, not just people who, you know, have therapists, everybody needs to know about their emotions and how to manage their emotions. And and I think that's pretty doggone cool.

And as an introvert, as you've mentioned, and the work that you do, how what is your favorite way to or method of recharging?

Recharging. I take a bubble bath, a long bubble bath with a good book, an actual book. Sometimes I take my phone, but I really, it's that's where I relax and I learn and I'm and I have plants all around. It was just like a little oasis for myself. That's how I recharge. And my husband knows it. He's like, you go, you know

Let me see you in a couple hours.

Yes. Exactly.

Alright. Thank you. Thank you so very much for sharing the work that you do and your thoughts. And I have a question for you. Mhmm. There is no right or wrong.

Okay.

And the question is, in your opinion, in your esteemed opinion, is a hot dog a sandwich?

Is a hotdog a sandwich? I believe so. It's got 2 pieces of bread. Well, it's kinda connected on either side, and there's meat in the middle. Alright. I think so.

Thank you for that answer. Subtinct. So can you

I'm no hot dog philosopher.

Oh, man. A hotdog philosopher. And I gotta I gotta see if I can hunt one of those down for you.

Yeah. That would be the best thing. Epic Epictetus about that, what he thought.

So can you let my listeners know where they can find out more about you and the wonderful work that you do?

Oh, absolutely. I am pretty active on LinkedIn primarily, but really, if you if everybody wants that thought ladder process, if they want that step by step guide, they can go to real life resilience.com/thought ladder and get that is free. It's it's you can get it and it's like we'll teach you how to create your own thought ladders and give you some pro tips around that. Or if you're on LinkedIn, I'm also on, you know, Facebook and, stuff The, but just message me and I'll send it to you as well. So real life resilience.com/thought ladder, and you can ladder up your own thoughts as well. It's very powerful.

Awesome. Yeah. And it will also be in the show notes. So, thank you very much, and, I want to talk to you some more. So The is I know. Right? The is Janice at thecareerintrovert.com helping you build your brand and get hired. Have a great rest of your week.