Hello there. I am so delighted to have another luminous guest with us today. She is so ultra feminine and soft and wise and intelligent. I think you're really gonna like her vibe. Her name is Grier Cooper, and she's been teaching and practicing meditation and mindfulness for more than 25 years. And her works appeared in a number of places. Thrive Global conscious dancer education.com and the Green Diva Mom. She is passionate about helping women to reclaim their inner peace, power and joy so they can live their best lives. And she's a former professional ballet dancer, which is where she gets so much of that grace. She's a mother and a nature geek who loves travel and chocolate. Who wouldn't like a woman like that? Okay. So Grier, I wanna welcome you today.

Hi Tessa. Thank you. And thank you so much for having me. It's a pleasure to be here.

You are welcome. I'm so happy that we've been getting to know each other the last few months, and I'm just super excited that you're here. I know that you've got some amazing things to share with my women about accessing peace, right? And getting out of anxiety and things like that. And also, of course, this was what you're doing to help people with that is a big part of your story. So I just wanna invite you to feel free to jump in where you want to.

Okay. Thank you.

Mm-hmm. . What part of your life would you like to begin sharing with us, your soul journey?

Well, I guess for me it's sort of looking at where I am now so that we get an idea of where I came from. And what I can say is the work that I share these days has been the path that I've walked. And I feel so grateful that I'm able to live a life where I feel relaxed and peaceful and connected to a sense of ease and flow and joy. But it wasn't always that way for me. Years ago I was going through a very difficult, painful divorce and adapting to life as a single working parent. And I felt stressed and anxious and exhausted much of the time. And I started to have health issues and I was also suffering panic attacks. And at that point, it had really come to a place where I knew I had to take steps to help myself and to feel better, not just for myself, but for my daughter as well. And so I really immersed myself into learning tools and practices that helped me feel better. And I discovered a very simple, profound process to access and maintain feelings of deep inner peace. And it wasn't long before I realized I could stay in that place and it didn't matter what was going on or around me. And I feel incredibly blessed to now be able to share these things with other women so that they can really rise to be the relaxed and confident and self-assured women that they were going to be.

Oh my gosh. I'm just thinking to myself, how can we bottle that ? Yeah. Okay. Well, I can hardly wait. And I know so many of my ladies are really gonna be excited to know how they can access peace and do it easily. Right? Like, and be able to access it whenever things are, whatever is happening.

Right.

Like you know, panic attacks are no small thing. What was that experience like for you when you were having that panic attack? Can you describe that for us?

Sometimes terrifying. It was happening to me sometimes when I was driving, so I didn't feel safe. I sometimes had to pull over and, you know, reset and wait until I felt well enough. And, you know, you kind of feel like life is spiraling out of control and, yeah. Like the rug is pulled out from under your feet. And, you know, I'm sure people can relate whenever we feel stressed or anxious, we get that kind of tight trapped feeling.

Yes. And so for you, was this just like, because of the divorce or was it because you'd had like earlier life trauma or something that kind of, you know, set the stage?

I would say it was both. I had had earlier life trauma. I grew up in an alcoholic family where there was a lot of verbal abuse and I didn't feel heard and I felt shut down a lot of the time. But that had kind of been on a back burner. I hadn't, that was when I was a kid. And so I think the stress and trauma that I went through during my time of my divorce kind of made some of that resurface and then it prompted me to learn how to deal with it in a real way. Whereas before, I think I had just sort of packed it in a suitcase, .

Oh my gosh. I just can't even, I mean, it's really hard to picture like how scary that would be to the issues.

Yeah.

So I really can't even imagine like how frightening how scary that would've been to be a mother, right. Of a young girl and to be having panic attacks, which by their very nature, they just show up whenever they show up. Right. And that feeling of just being in outta control, that must have been really intense for you.

It was, being a parent, you feel especially prompted to stay alive for your child. And sometimes panic attacks feel like you do feel like you're going to die. And that just wasn't an option. I knew that my daughter needed me. So sometimes I think that sort of intensified the feelings.

Absolutely. That would make a lot of sense.

Mm-hmm. .

So what, what helped you? Like, how did you start to move through that you knew somehow you needed help or support? What did you do?

Yeah. Well, I had been meditating for many, many years at that point already. And I decided actually to sign up for a retreat. And during the retreat I had a week of silence. We didn't speak at all. We turned off all outside forces, you know, no phones, no TVs, no social media. And I dove into all these different practices and tools that filled the day. And it was one of the most profound, blissful experiences of my life going into it. I think the idea of staying silent for a whole week feels a little intimidating. I wasn't sure what that would be like or if I could even do it, but it made a profound difference and really deepened the experience. And so everything that I carried away from that retreat, I've been practicing and using and carrying with me ever since.

Hmm. That's amazing. I mean, I'm sorry that you had to go through that frightening experience, but I'm really glad you were able to harness the gifts of the practices and the tools and all that. But you went through, and so I'd love to have you share with our audience here today

mm-hmm.

a little bit more about creating that peace and, and how that can become like a powerful experience.

Yeah. Well, I think one of the most important factors to consider is what's going on in our internal world, because oftentimes we inadvertently block ourselves from feeling peaceful. So getting in touch with our internal process, understanding how that works is really the first key. And when we can start to become aware of what's going on, then we can start to shift it and make changes for ourselves. So I would say noticing and building awareness is always the first key.

And, you know, this is such a big thing. I know a lot of people have heard, you know, when you're doing kind of a self-growth journey, that awareness is a part of things. But one of the things that I notice with my clients is it's almost like they're built to or programmed to push away the awareness, right? Push it away, push it away, can't deal with it, don't know how to deal with it, and it's very unconscious, right? They're not trying to not deal with something. They wanna just like be able to deal with life and handle life and keep going. But the programming or the pattern is to not be aware. So you're saying, wait a second, the first thing you really need to do is just say, I wanna become aware. I need to become aware.

Right. Well, I think as women, we wear a lot of hats. We have a lot of responsibilities, and we are also still living in an era when we aren't really treated as equals, and maybe we don't look at ourself as equals. And so we tend to put our own needs and our own inner promptings aside to be in service to others. And so when we are able to prioritize, not only being aware of what's going on within us, but cultivating a relationship with our inner world, with ourselves, with who we truly are, then we can really start to shift and own our power.

Absolutely. I love that Greer, you mentioned this word prioritizing. I think it's really, really important because so many women's identities, like you say, are about, they become like being of service to others, like to our families or friends or, or to work or the world, whether it's, um, you know, some volunteer organization doesn't matter, right? And the identity then becomes mixed in too strongly with needing to be of service.

Right?

And so there's like this peeling back, right? Like peeling back the identity and, saying, wait a second, where am I in all of this? And starting to reclaim that the authentic self, I think is what you said, which is amazing,

Right? Well, I mean, it's not just where am I? It's who am I and what is important to me, and what is my soul telling me? And we have to get quiet and still in order to hear that voice, because it's much quieter than a lot of other things around us, and especially all of the noise that we're surrounded with all the time.

Yes. So, do you wanna share a little bit about some of the other ways that we block ourselves from feeling peaceful? I think that could be really helpful today.

Sure. Another way that we block ourselves from feeling peaceful is really how we interact with the world around us. And that can be from something as simple as the kind of shows we watch, the things we read, what we listen to, the people that are in our lives. All these things have an effect on us. You know, when you think about a song that you hear on the radio, and maybe it's a song you don't even really like all that much, but it gets stuck in your head, right? And you're singing it to yourself for days later. Yes. This is a prime illustration of the effect that the outside world can have on us. So, I would say really safeguarding your inner peace is another big part of being able to maintain it. So filtering, you know, and also maybe shutting down things so that we're not overstimulated. That's something else that's going on a lot these days now that we have cell phones and things are pinging and emails are coming and things are going on all day long, and how much is enough and how much is too much, and where do we draw that line?

Yes. I'm sort of laughing to myself because even a couple minutes ago I heard a little ping from something . I'm like, how did that even happen? You know? I love this, this where we're going with this because the filtering, the shutting down. Like, I know that some of my people are like, whoa, I don't, I can't do that. I've gotta stay connected. You know, there's a fear around that

mm-hmm.

But then what does it actually mean to start filtering and shutting down in a way that can work for people?

Well, I can't tell people what to do. It's a bit of an a personal decision. But what I can say is when we're constantly being stimulated, especially by something as simple as cell phone notifications or texts or things like that coming through, it kind of keeps us in a constant state of reactivity. So we always feel like we're disrupted. So, we're disrupted from whatever it is we're doing. So our focus is fragmented, and that alone is kind of crazy making, but it also hurts our productivity because then it takes us a while to kind of get the mental gears spinning again and get back to what we were doing. So I would say one of the simplest shifts somebody can make for themselves is to turn everything off when you're doing something important, whether it's work or meal times with family or friends, to just shut it all off. , you know, in my day when I was a kid, we didn't even have cell phones. And so if people called and they didn't get ahold of you, they'd call back. So we can always reconnect at a later point when we need to, but to give your nervous system that break it so desperately needs is...

Oh my gosh. Yes. I'm so glad you brought this up because everything you just said is, in the research that I've done and the way that I've worked with people and the results that I've seen from embracing these concepts has been profound. And, and we know now science has proven that we actually lose brain cells when we are constantly interrupted.

Mm-hmm. .

And even though it's just a little ping, there's also part of our brain that recognizes that as kind of an alert, right? Like beyond guard.

mm-hmm.

Or be hypervigilant. Right? So, and then we go into that reactivity phase that you were speaking about

mm-hmm. ,

Rather than responding from a place of centeredness, groundedness.

mm-hmm. .

And it's really hard when we're not in that place of groundedness and centeredness, like self-awareness to actually even know what we need or want. And so often I find with so many people, they're, they're not getting their needs met because they're out of touch with it because everything else has taken over.

Right.

So as you're working with people, like what can you share, I think it'd be great to hear if you've got like a client story that you wanna share with us.

mm-hmm.

Around that, like, what happened for that person?

Sure. Well, one of my clients is a college student and obviously has a lot on her shoulders in any given day. You know, aside from the stresses of studying and passing exams and sort of creating a whole new life on campus with a new group of people and all of that, and then to have constant, cell phone dings and pings and all of that, she found herself having difficulty sleeping. And it got especially acute during exam times. So we worked together and I gave her some of the tools that can help you reset your mind to calm within minutes. And she said one or two of them in particular really helped her to not only to fall asleep more easily, but to stay asleep. Or occasionally if she did find herself awake in the middle of the night, she would just use one of them and she was able to fall back asleep.

Amazing. Yeah. I mean, you're talking about somebody who wants to fit in, you know, they're going to school, they don't wanna seem awkward, and somehow she was able to embrace those practices, and incorporate them into her life in a way that really supported her.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if we are not sleeping well, then we're definitely not operating at our highest level.

Tell me about it, girl.

,

I'm into a whole new phase now. I never knew I had never had issues sleeping. And now it's like, oh my gosh, maybe I'll check some of those out myself.

Mm-hmm.

Or just even do some of my own practices that I have. But , that's another topic, the whole hormonal thing. All right. Um, , I'm sort of like wondering at what point, like you were using those tools, you'd gone to the silent retreat, you recognized the value of things and you were finding your way through it. Like, when did you start to really feel like you were in sync or really starting to hear the deeper messages of your soul?

Wow. Well, I mean, it's funny. I would say that I've, I'd heard it on and off throughout much of my life, but it was the exception rather than the norm. And so once I deepened my practices and went to this retreat, I would just say it, it started to build over time because I had had that profound experience of feeling what that felt like. And once you feel it, it's just such a blissful, tranquil state that you just want to stay there. And so you're willing to do whatever you need to do to help yourself remain connected to that place. So that was really what was guiding me to continue to deepen my practices. And I knew I had turned a corner. I had this one really interesting experience where something happened and it was a stressful, something, I can't even remember what it was, but I was able to feel those feelings. But at the same time, to also feel the deep inner peace that resides at the core of me and you and everybody else. So I could feel that deep peace at my core and I could feel the feelings and I could see how those feelings were so surface, you know, they felt like icing on the birthday cake rather than the cake, inner peace is the cake. And, you know, our feelings are so transitory, they're the icing. If that makes sense.

Ooh, I just got chills. That's a beautiful way to think about it, right? The cake is really what gives us the satisfaction. Icings great, but you can only have so much.

. That's true. Just a little bit too much and you start to feel kind of sick.

Exactly. Alright, I wanna just unpack this a little bit cuz you said a couple awesome things. At least one of the things that you touched on was this idea that you took these practices and tools and you did them over time.

Mm-hmm.

Right? So to me, right away I'm thinking, okay, so you really dedicated yourself to this. You made it a priority and you start, you committed to it long term. And I think it'd be great if you could share a little bit about that, because so many people have this expectation of themselves that like, you know, they're gonna meditate three times or do a tool three times and suddenly it's supposed to work. And if it doesn't, they think they're broken and then they give up. So, could you speak to that just a little bit?

Sure. Yeah. Well, I think we all get excited about trying new things and some of us are, you know, type a overachievers or we wanna do it all right now, but, you know, it's not like we can just flip a switch and turn it on or off. So my advice is to start with small specific and scheduled activities. So that could be as simple as, wow, maybe I wake up in the morning and instead of turning on the news, I sit in silence for three minutes, even three minutes can make a profound difference. And science has even told us that just like the cell phone pings, kill brain cells, silence helps to regenerate and build new brain cells.

So that's not an undoable thing. Three minutes every morning almost. I can't think of anybody in the world who couldn't do that ,

Right?

Like, and I know though I can tell like, there's already people thinking, oh, but that, that's not gonna do anything. What's that gonna do? I'm just gonna be sitting there thinking my critical thoughts or like, uh, you know, or they go to do it and they're like, oh my God, is the time up yet? Is it up yet? Is it up yet? Is it up yet? Right.

I get it. It's hard for some of us to think about sitting in silence even for a couple of minutes. I have friends who say, I can't meditate. I'm like, everybody can meditate . It's just the story that we tell ourselves that we can't. But what happens when we sit still and are silent is then it all kind of comes crashing in and we are aware of what's going on internally and we do realize like, oh my God, my thoughts are completely out of control. Or they're just, you know, spinning in circles. And it's only when we sit still that we can start to become aware. So we're kind of circling back to what we talked about initially, which is that we build the awareness and we're building that relationship with ourselves. And over time, even though it might be a little bit difficult initially, it gets easier and easier and easier and you'll start to build that awareness.

Yes. Alright, so I, I've just got a couple more questions for you. One is I'd love to know for you how connecting with your soul and being able to hear your soul and have that peaceful connection of all that soul cake.

mm-hmm. ,

How has that, like, one way that makes your life so much better?

Well, I guess I would say one of the most profound ways that being in a soul connected, peaceful place can influence your life is it will improve your relationships. Because when we are peaceful and centered, we are able to speak our truths more effectively and we're able to speak them in a way so that they can be heard. Because if we're coming from a place of feeling unheard, if we're coming from a place of feeling angry or any of those things, then we're not going to be able to say things in a way that other people can hear them. So not only will we be able to speak our truths, others will listen, we are at peace and we're going to impact everybody we interact with. And so naturally things will just blossom.

All right folks, you heard it today. Soul cake improves relationships, , there you have it,

And share your cake. Don't just keep it to yourself, you know?

That's right. Yes. It's all about the connection, right? Sharing the cake, enjoying it, knowing, and that sense of being heard just is so rewarding, right? So nurturing and satisfying. And that doesn't have to be like some one-off experience every decade.

No, I mean, I think about it in this way. Maybe you've come across somebody in your life, whether it was a really loving grandparent or maybe a teacher when you were a child, just somebody who was just warm and loving and just such an awesome person that you're just drawn to them. It's magnetic, isn't it? And so if we're able to be at peace within ourselves, then we can be that person who is magnetic, that people are naturally drawn to that they want to be with.

Yes. Beautiful. So Grier, I know we could probably have like a day long conversation about the soul and the journey and all of that. Totally. But I would love for you to just be able to share one last thing before we go, which would be some kind of tip or key to remaining calm.

Sure. I would love to do that. I would say the number one tool that I turn to, no matter what is making me feel off center is the breath. Because when we feel stressed or anxious, the first thing that happens is the chest gets tight, we're not taking full breaths. And then we feel that kind of reactive, panicked feeling and that sort of spirals out of control. So the first thing that I would always suggest to people is to use your breath as a tool. Yoga tells us that every time we breathe in, we're taking in oxygen, we're taking in prana. And so if we can just remind ourselves, Hey, I'm feeling a little off right now. I'm just gonna take a couple minutes here. Maybe even go sit somewhere else if you're with others if you can, but just to sit close your eyes and reconnect to your breath.

Because when we slow that down and we listen to the sound, our bodies start to relax because we're bringing in oxygen, we're no longer oxygen starved and feeling panicked. And then we can also feel our body's relaxing and we're able to then shift things. Like, if you think about it, the breath really is the first thing we hear when our hearing develops in the womb, we hear our mother's breathing. And so in that way, your breathing can be a very calming influence. It also kind of sounds like ocean waves. So just to close your eyes, listen to your breath, hear that sound, slow down the breath, bring in the oxygen and just allow it to reset you.

This is so rich. Thank you for that lovely description and reminding people who, or maybe if people haven't heard it for the first time of the breath, that initial sound so beautiful. And I love that image of connecting with the mother. We've all had that experience hearing that in and out. And before we go, I'd love to have you share how people can get in touch with you. And I know you've got something for them as well. So where will they find you, Grier ?

Well, I would love to have people visit me and the easiest place to find me is online at my website. It's griercooper.com.

And lemme just be really clear, right? I wanna make sure everybody hears this. It's Grier with an I, so it's g r i e r g r i e r cooper.com. And if you forget, all this information will be on the episode show notes. So you can always check there. But go to griercooper.com and then where else can they find you? Like what, tell 'em about your Insta and your other things.

Yeah. Well, I am also on Facebook as Grier Cooper, so that's pretty straightforward. And I'm on Instagram. My handle is I am Grier.

I am Grier. Fabulous. And tell them about your gift.

Yeah. So the gift that I would love to share with you is called the Five Minutes to Serenity Guide. And it offers a couple of the tools that I've been talking about to help you reset your mind, to calm within minutes. It can be done anywhere, anytime. And I hope that you enjoy them and are able to put them to use and watch your life blossom.

Hmm, Grier thank you so much for being here today.

Thank you.

It's just been really a pleasure and I love this conversation. I know we have so much more to talk about. I'm gonna have you back for sure, and audience. If you have anything specific you would like to ask Grier in the next podcast we do with her, please feel free to send that on over. I wanna say thank you for being here for listening to your deeper calling, right? So even if you're feeling like you're not in touch with your soul at the moment you are here, you showed up for yourself and you're taking some moments to listen and receive, and I just invite you to start breathing, breathe more every morning, breathing, and tune in with us the next time. Have a guest or I will be talking with you solo. But I think today as we sign up, I'm gonna do something a little different and I'm gonna create some opportunity for you simply to breathe along with me as I chant us out with three Ohms. Oh, Oh.

Blessings.