Every kid – even the most challenging ones – need and deserve affirmation.

The Power of Words 

• Think about things people have said to you-both positive and negative things. How did those words impact you?
• Our words have power. We need to use them wisely in every relationship, but especially with our kids. 
• Q1. Describe the “love” climate in your home growing up (affectionate/affirming or cold/distant?) How have those family dynamics affected the way you express love to your kids?

Talking Points:

God the Father spoke publicly about the Son twice in the gospel of Matthew. Both times it was to affirm him.

• Matthew 3:17 And a voice from heaven said, “This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy.”
• Matthew 17:5 But even as he spoke, a bright cloud overshadowed them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy. Listen to him.”

If the perfect Son of God received words of affirmation from his Father, how much more do our imperfect kids need affirmation from their parents? Ephesians 6:4, Proverbs 16:24, Ephesians 4:32

• 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.
• 24 Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.
• 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

Every kid – even the most challenging ones – need and deserve affirmation.

In our last principle, we learned about the importance of loving discipline. But we need to be careful that we don’t stay constantly in the state of correction with our kids. They need positive interactions as well. They need to hear affirming things about who they are. As parents, we need to pull ourselves out of “critical” mode focusing only on the things we want to change in our kids and spend time celebrating how God created them as special, unique  humans who sometimes drive us crazy!

Remember the 3 B's:

• Be intentional.
• Be authentic.
• Be unique.

Q5. What does it look like for you to be intentional with affirmation moving forward? Identify three unique traits for each of your kids that you will work to affirm more.

Use the 3 T's of Praise:

• Talk: use your words to speak love and praise over your kids.
• Time: spend time with your kids and show them that they are a priority to you.
• Touch: show affection to your kids.

Q8. Are you familiar with the 5 love languages? What would you guess is your kid’s language? How can knowing their language help you to love them more?