“Having the foundations to why we do what we do is so important because learning these things made me so much more patient with myself and with humanity,” shares Gianna Biscontini, Founder of Live Well Lifestyle Design and Author of F*ckless: Guide to Wild and Unencumbered Freedom. Today, Gianna joins host Kiley Peters to talk about how her background as a board certified behavioral analyst has helped her to live a f*ckless lifestyle and how others can become f*ckless themselves.
One fateful morning in October of 2019, Gianna Biscontini woke up really angry with her expected place as a woman in the world. This anger fueled her to open her laptop and begin writing what ended up becoming the first 5 pages of her novel. Her opening line, “Women are conditioned to be the air and water that serve, but do not disrupt everyone around us,” is one that really hits home to so many women. Gianna explains that when you really comprehend the behavioral science behind people’s actions, it can help you to better understand and be more patient with yourself and everyone around you. When people are willing to be vulnerable and open, it sets the stage for open conversation with others. Ultimately, people’s actions are caused by a desire for something, whether that be a desire for attention, food, escape or avoidance of a negative stimulus, or automatic reinforcement. And when you understand the reason behind someone’s behavior, you can better navigate your interactions with them.
Do you struggle with the frustration of others' behaviors? If so, it is time to learn how to become f*ckless and reclaim control over your life by opening yourself up to others and gaining a better understanding of human behavior.
“When one person opens up, it creates space for the other person to safely open up.” (2:53-2:57 | Gianna)
“I flipped open my laptop and I wrote the first five pages to F*ckless starting with, ‘Women are conditioned to be the air and water that serve, but do not disrupt everyone around us’.” (7:40-7:51 | Gianna)
“Having the foundations to why we do what we do is so important because learning these things made me so much more patient with myself, with humanity.” (9:47-9:57 | Gianna)
“You walk into a room, you speak up, you're excited about an idea. Nobody listens to you. The man next to you repeats it, and everyone treats him as if he is a visionary, right? How does that feel? Does that make you want to speak up more in the future? No, it's extremely punishing. And if that happens enough, it's a learned helplessness no matter what I do, nothing changes, and you kind of just atrophy and we become a little bit dead inside.” (11:46-12:16 | Gianna)
“I see a lot of women push off their needs and wants as undeserving of attention because that's what society tells them about their needs and wants. And we never benefit from playing small.” Social Media (19:26-19:43 | Gianna)