If you've ever looked at another counsellor's website and thought:

"That sounds really professional. Maybe I should say something like that."

… you're not alone.

Most counsellors learn how to be counsellors before they learn how to market themselves, so it's only natural that we look around at other websites and directory profiles for clues about what we're "supposed" to say.

The trouble is that when everybody uses the same language, potential clients can struggle to work out who they're looking at and whether that counsellor is the right fit for them.

In this episode, I'm exploring why phrases like safe, confidential and non-judgemental aren't the problem in themselves, but why they may not be enough to help potential clients understand what makes you different.

We talk about:

• Why so many counsellors end up using similar website wording
• What potential clients are really looking for when choosing a counsellor
• Why a safe, non-judgemental space is the starting point, not the outcome
• The difference between describing a problem and demonstrating understanding
• Why recognition matters so much in counselling marketing
• How to communicate what you know without making unrealistic promises

Mentioned in this episode

Write Your Homepage

If you're struggling to turn what you know into website copy that helps potential clients recognise themselves and get in touch, you'll find details of my Write Your Homepage session here: Write Your Homepage

Buy Me a Coffee

A huge thank you to Kate for recently buying me a coffee (and cake!).

If you've found the podcast helpful and would like to support the time that goes into creating these episodes and blog posts, you can buy me a coffee here: Buy Me A Coffee

Related reading

Can You Help Your Clients... And Do They Know It?

Have you ever looked at another counsellor's website and thought to yourself, "Wow, that is brilliant. It's really professional. Maybe I should say something like that"? Well, I know I have. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons that there are so many counsellor websites that end up sounding surprisingly similar, and that's a problem because when everybody says roughly the same thing, it's very difficult for potential clients to really understand who you are.

You know, they have very little idea of who they're looking at. You know, they know that you're safe. They know that you're non-judgmental. They know that you offer a confidential space, but they still don't know why they should choose you, and I think that's because many counsellors accidentally hide the very thing that the potential clients are actually looking for.

And we're so busy trying to sound professional that sometimes we stop sounding like ourselves, and that's what I want to talk about today.

Hi, I'm Jane Travis, and I help counsellors get found more easily by the right clients, not by shouting louder, but by choosing words that feel real and clear and relatable. So if your marketing feels like a little bit of a mystery at times, you are in the right place. And today I want to talk about a phrase that appears on counselling websites everywhere and why I don't think the phrase itself is the problem So hello, hello, hello and welcome back.

And if this is your first time here, I'm so pleased that you found us. I hope that you're having a great day so far. Now, I've had a bee in my bonnet recently, which is in fact very fitting because today I've got a wasp that keeps buzzing around me, and it just can't seem to take the hint and leave. So yes.

yeah, so I've been noticing something recently, and you know what it's like, once you notice it, you start seeing it everywhere. And if you've spent any time looking at counsellor websites or directory profiles, you'll probably have noticed it too because there are certain phrases that seem to crop up again and again.

And you'll know the ones, things like safe space and non-judgmental and explore your thoughts and feelings and supporting you on your journey. And before you start to panic, look, really don't panic, that's not what this is about. This isn't an episode about why you should stop saying those things because it's not that there's anything wrong with them.

In fact, I hope every counsellor does offer a safe, non-judgmental space. But what I've been wondering about is what happens when that's what people see, that's what potential clients see on all of the websites, and they don't learn much else about us because I think there's a really understandable reason why so many counsellors, end up using this very similar language.

It's because you've trained to become a counsellor. You didn't train to become a marketer. So you've spent years learning about theory, and ethics, and attachment, and relationships, and trauma, and all the other good things that help us to support our clients. But very few of us spend years learning how to write a website. So when it comes to marketing ourselves, we do what most people do when they're trying to figure something out.

We all do it, don't we? We have a little look around, and we look at what other people are doing. So we look at what other counsellors are saying on their websites. We read other people's directories, and we notice the phrases that seem to appear everywhere, and we kind of assume that that's how counsellors' websites are supposed to sound.

And I know that I've done this myself when I was a counsellor and when I started out. I definitely did this because that's k- kind of what we all do. And if you see something often enough, it starts to feel like that's going to be the right answer. It's gonna be the professional answer. It's gonna be the safe answer.

And before you know it, you've written something that sounds remarkably similar to everybody else. Now, I don't think this is particularly a counsellor's problem. I think this is more of a human problem because whenever we're learning something new, we start looking around for clues. You know, when you first started your training, there were probably counsellors you looked up to, people who seemed more experienced than you, more confident than you, You know, people that appeared to know exactly what they were doing. And marketing can feel a bit like that, can't it? You know, you look at somebody else's website and you think to yourself, "Well, they've been doing this for a long time, longer than I have, so they must know what they're talking about." And you know, maybe they do, but maybe they're doing exactly the same thing. You know, maybe back in the day they looked at somebody else's website, and that person looked at somebody else's website, and the person before them looked at somebody else's website too. And before long, you've got an entire generation of counsellors that all use roughly the same language because they've kind of assumed that somebody at some point had the magical answer of what they're supposed to say on their website.

And like I say, you know, I definitely have done this, and I suspect most of us have. And the reason I think this matters is because counsellors often assume what potential clients want is professionalism. And, you know, professionalism matters. Of course, it does. I'm not saying it doesn't. But professionalism isn't usually what makes somebody pick up the phone and speak to you. So I often imagine somebody sitting at home with several counselling websites open.

You know, they've maybe got a tissue in their hand because they've been having a cry, and I often imagine somebody sitting at home, and they're on a directory, or maybe they're searching on Google. And the other thing is that maybe they've just been putting off looking for a counsellor, maybe for months, possibly even for years, and they've finally decided that they're actually going to do something about it.

So they're reading profile after profile, and they're trying to work out who feels like the right person for them. And I don't think they're sitting there comparing qualifications. I just don't. You know, I don't think they're creating a spreadsheet and scoring people on their theoretical orientation. Of course they're not.

I think they're looking for something that's a little bit simpler. I think they're looking for the signs of understanding. They're looking for clues that tell them that you're going to get them. You know, they're gonna be looking for clues that say, "Look, this person gets it. This person understands what life feels like for me at the moment, and this person might be able to help me."

And I think that that's where many websites accidentally miss the mark because when we're writing about ourselves, we often focus on what we do. You know, potential clients are focused on whether we understand what it's like to be them, and that's a very, very different question. So people don't usually start looking for counselling because they fancy a nice chat once a week.

Of course they don't. They're looking for counselling because something in their life isn't working and maybe they're exhausted from overthinking everything Or maybe they're stuck in a relationship and they don't understand why, or maybe they're grieving, or maybe they're burnt out. And maybe they've spent years putting everybody else's needs first and they finally realize that they just can't keep doing this anymore. But whatever the reason is, something hurts.

There's something in that person's life that is painful. And in my experience, by the time somebody starts looking for a counsellor, they've often spent quite a long time trying to figure things out on their own. You know, maybe they've talked to their friends, maybe they've listened to podcasts, maybe they've read books, maybe they've watched videos.

You know, maybe they've promised themselves that they'll stop worrying so much, or that they'll stop people-pleasing, or that they'll stop being upset about things that shouldn't really bother them. And they've tried, and sometimes they've really tried. And sometimes that means they then start telling themselves that they're useless because they should be able to do it.

And sometimes they've spent months convincing themselves that they don't really need to go to counselling at all. So remember that, because when somebody lands on your website, they're making a much bigger decision than we sometimes realize. You know, they're deciding whether to spend their hard-earned time, money, and emotional energy on getting help.

And that's why I don't think people are on there, you know, sitting, looking at your website thinking, "What I really need is a safe, non-judgmental space." You know, what they're thinking is, "I cannot carry on like this. I can't carry on feeling like this. I feel dreadful. I don't feel like I can carry on with my life.

I don't want to get out of bed. I can't carry on feeling like this." And I think that that's an important distinction because a safe, non-judgmental space, of course, matters enormously. It's one of the foundations of good counselling. Without it, meaningful work becomes very, very difficult. But I've started thinking about it as a starting point rather than an outcome.

You know, the safe, non-judgmental space is what makes the work even possible. It isn't usually the thing that people are hoping for. People are hoping for the outcome, which is they're hoping for, it may be less anxiety or healthier boundaries or better relationships or more confidence, or to find a way through the grief that they're feeling, or to find a way through the burnout that they're experiencing, or to find a better understanding of themselves.

You know, they're hoping that life might feel different. You know, not guaranteed, you know, you can't guarantee outcomes, can you? Of course. And I think that's where this becomes really interesting. You know, imagine if somebody comes to you and says, "I've been struggling with anxiety for years," or, "I don't know why I keep ending up in the same, you know, really bad relationships," or, "My confidence is through the floor," or, "I feel absolutely exhausted just from trying to keep everybody else happy."

And as counsellors, our minds will immediately become really curious. We start wondering, "I wonder what's happening underneath for that person. What are the patterns there? What are the experiences that have shaped this? What's keeping the problem going? You know, what does this person really need, and what might help them? So of course, yes, we want them to feel safe. Of course, we want them to feel accepted. And of course, we don't want them to feel judged, you know, but we're also thinking about the possibility of change because counselling is all about change, isn't it?

And that's why I keep going back to this idea. A safe, non-judgmental space is purely the starting point. It's nothing to do with the outcome. The outcome is whatever that person is hoping for when they first walk through your door or reach out to you in some way. And I think that that's where many counsellor websites accidentally undersell the work that they do because they spend so much time talking about the container that people never get to see what's inside.

Because behind every counsellor website is somebody who has spent years listening to people, years noticing patterns, years developing their own understanding of anxiety, of grief, of trauma, of relationships, of confidence, of self-esteem, and all of the many reasons that people come to counselling in the first place.

And that is absolutely... That is valuable. That is golden. And I think that sometimes we don't share this enough, not because we want to be vague, you know, not because we don't know enough, of course not, but I sometimes wonder, you know, are we kind of hiding this because there's a part of us that's worried about sounding, I don't know, a bit arrogant?

Or maybe there's a part of us that's worried about getting it wrong, so we retreat into the language that feels a little bit more safe. So the difficulty is that potential clients are often looking for signs that we really understand what life feels like for them. And one of the reasons I feel really strongly about this is because I've spent years looking at counselor websites, hundreds of websites, possibly even thousands of websites, if I'm really honest, and one of the things that I've noticed is the websites that connect most effectively aren't necessarily the most polished, they're not necessarily the prettiest, and they aren't necessarily the ones that have been written by, you know, expensive professional copywriters. But they're usually the websites where I come away feeling like I've got a sense of the person behind the words.

You know, I can understand the type of people that they help, and I can understand what they've noticed through their work. You know, I can see them talking about their experience and also I can understand the kind of struggles that they're familiar with. It might be through the work that they do or through their own struggles.

And I also understand something about the way that they see the world, and that's what creates connection. When somebody reads your website and thinks to themselves, "You know, that's exactly how it feels," or, "Do you know, I've never really been able to explain it like that, but yeah, that's it.

That's what it is." And then something starts to shift. Then they start to feel understood, they feel less alone, and they start to believe that speaking to you might actually help. It's not guaranteed to make their life perfect or anything like that. And I think that's often all people need in that moment, just a little bit of hope, a sense that somebody understands, a feeling that they don't have to carry it all on their own anymore.

So look, if you're listening to this and you're wondering whether your website relies a little bit too heavily on the phrases that you've seen, you know, so many times before, here's the question I'm going to leave with you. What would somebody learn about you from reading your website? Would they get a sense of the people that you work with, and would they recognise themselves in the words that you're using?

Would they come away with an understanding of what you've learned from the years that you've worked with clients? Or maybe you haven't had years of working with clients yet, but you've had years of training, you've had years of experience of, you know, living with whatever it is. You've also done loads of reading and, you know, all of that good stuff.

Or could the same website belong to almost any counsellor out there? Because the thing that makes your website interesting isn't a list of counselling phrases, it's you. It's you. It's what you've noticed. It's what you've learned. It's the way that you've understood people, and that's what deserves to be visible. So if you're listening to this and you're thinking, "That's exactly where I'm stuck," well, this is usually the point where listening can only take you so far. At some point, you need somebody to help you to turn all of that understanding into words, and that is what we do inside the Write Your Homepage call.

So together, we take all the knowledge and experience and understanding that you currently have sitting in your head, and yes, it's all there, and we turn it into website copy that sounds like you, that helps potential clients to recognise themselves, and it makes it easier for the right people to get in touch with you.

So if that sounds like something you would find interesting, you'll find all the details at janetravels.co.uk/writeyourhomepage, and all the details are in the show notes as well. So I'd just like to say before I go, I have got hay fever, and my nose is, like, really blocked, so I'm sorry if I sound really sniffly.

There's not a lot I can do about it at the moment. I've been, I've been antihistamined up, but that doesn't seem to be doing a lot at the moment. And also, I'd like to say a quick thank you to Kate. Kate recently bought me a coffee on Buy Me a Coffee. Kate, thank you so much. Kate left a £10 donation and this really lovely message.

She said, "Thank you so much, Jane, for your helpful podcast and blogs. Enjoy a coffee and a cake on me." So Kate, thank you. That is incredibly kind of you. Now, I genuinely love hearing from people who listen to the podcast or read the blog, and knowing that something I've shared has been useful makes all the time I spend creating this content feel worthwhile.

So yes, I will happily accept the coffee and cake recommendation. And if you're listening and you found this podcast helpful and you'd maybe like to buy me a coffee or a cake, or maybe both, then I would be very, very grateful. Because creating these podcasts, writing the blogs, and sharing all of the free resources does take a lot of time, and your support really does help.

So you'll find the Buy Me a Coffee link in the show notes, along with links to all of my other stuff. And whether you buy me a coffee, buy me a cake, or you simply keep listening, thank you so much for being there. It's really great. I love it. Thank you so much, and I'll see you next time. Take care. Bye-bye.