Today I'll talk to Matt. Matt tells us how his journey to sobriety took a gradual approach until one day he realised that booze was taking away far more than it could ever give back. A pros and cons list gave him the clarity he needed to pursue a life with no place for drinking.

Hi everybody and welcome to

Sober Alcohol Free Stories.

2

I'm Victoria and I don't drink.

3

Today I'll talk to Matt.

4

Matt tells us how his journey to sobriety

took a gradual approach until one day

5

he realised that booze was taking away

far more than it could ever give back.

6

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Hi,

Matt, and welcome to the podcast today.

7

Thank you so much for agreeing

to come on and chat to me.

8

really looking forward

to hearing your story.

9

We haven't met before.

10

and those are always really

interesting stories for me because I'm

11

hearing it along with the audience.

12

I'm going to find out who you are,

what your story is, what led you to

13

your alcohol free choice, and then a

little bit about maybe challenges and

14

some of the tools that you've used.

15

So if there's anyone out there who's

sitting there thinking, Matt, I sound,

16

Very similar to you, and I'm considering

stopping drinking, then they may see

17

that it's something that they really

could do, because you've done it.

18

So with that, I'm going

to hand over to you.

19

So I'm going to ask you just to tell

me a little bit about yourself, and

20

how you decided to become alcohol free.

21

What's your story?

22

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

Hi Vic.

23

So thanks so much for the invite.

24

And as I mentioned to you just,

previously this is hitting a goal of

25

mine that I set last year was to be

on a podcast in some shape or form.

26

So you so much.

27

And I'm a podcast virgin.

28

this is the first of hopefully many, but,

29

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yes.

30

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

alcohol free and, you know, the

31

sober journey and, you know, what's

it all about and where, and where

32

did it, where's it come from?

33

Well, I guess.

34

I class myself very much as a middle

lane drinker, or I did anyway.

35

so, you know, the usual sort of path that

young men follow, you hit that age of 16,

36

17 and you want to go and meet ladies and

you want to go and have a laugh and you

37

want to get out there with your mates.

38

So you go to pubs and you go to clubs

and you enjoy yourself and you do all the

39

stuff that you do when you're a young man.

40

I've got three children and they go out

and socialize and do all the stuff that,

41

young people in their sort of twenties,

do to go and meet people and socialize.

42

that sort of life continued up until

I got into recruitment, which is my

43

profession, the role that I've been

in for the last sort of 30 odd years.

44

the kind of alcohol consumption would

have accelerated a bit during them

45

years, because you add in then the

kind of going out and meeting clients,

46

the socializing with, your colleagues.

47

that sort of accelerates it a bit,

but not to the point where it was

48

ever a concern I think sort of most

people that I come across in my life,

49

within the coaching arena that I've

entered into, are very much middle lane

50

drinkers, a few drinks a night, perhaps

accelerate a little bit of the weekend.

51

in some capacity, alcohol

is a part of your life.

52

it's in everything that you do, whether

it's work, whether it's social, whether

53

you're celebrating something, whether

you're commiserating something, whether

54

you're dealing with something that's

stressful, you're just sitting indoors,

55

having a glass of wine with your wife

and any friends that might pop around.

56

I guess through my sort of twenties

and into my thirties, it was

57

just very much a part of life.

58

if you didn't go out and have a drink,

your class is boring, but actually it

59

was never really as a, as a thing not to

do because it was never really an issue.

60

You didn't see it as an issue

because you're surrounded by people.

61

doing exactly the same thing.

62

You know, you're the tribe that

63

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Mm-hmm

64

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

a part of, are all out and living that

65

life whether that's Wednesday through to

Sunday, whether it's a couple of drinks

66

a night, whether you get into the Friday

night, obviously Fridays a Friday, so you

67

drink more on a Friday and then Saturday

you're feeling a little bit sort of.

68

Jaded and you can't wait for the

pubs to open and you're dragging

69

yourself off down there with your

wife, your kids or whatever for a

70

bit of lunch and a few more pints.

71

and then Sundays sort of similar.

72

And then you get to Monday and you're

not feeling your best, but you sort

73

of go down the gym and train your way

through it and then the whole cycle starts

74

again, following Wednesday, Thursday.

75

As a young man, that's fine.

76

you can cope with that.

77

And then I sort of got a young family,

started a family in my thirties and also

78

launched a business in the same year.

79

with launching a business comes a new

level of stress, So what you then do is.

80

build that stress relief around alcohol.

81

you've had a bad day, you go

down to the pub, you have a

82

few pints, you forget about it.

83

You have a good

84

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Mm-hmm

85

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

you celebrate.

86

you're meeting potential staff,

you meet them down the pub, have

87

a few beers, you interview them.

88

you want to take your team

out for something to do,

89

you take them down the pub.

90

so really, I guess during my thirties,

I would say that, and also alongside

91

that you're taking clients out all

the time, you know, you're doing the

92

whole sort of entertaining thing.

93

And that brings a level of alcohol

consumption along with it, you

94

do that throughout my thirties

and into my early forties.

95

And during that time, I didn't

ever look at what I was doing and

96

necessarily have a problem with

that because that was just life,

97

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah.

98

It's very well, it's

very normal, isn't it?

99

It's considered very normal.

100

All of that.

101

Everyone's, everyone seems to be

doing the same thing, particularly

102

as you say, when you're younger.

103

It's almost celebrated, isn't it?

104

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

but also, you know, they

105

over drinking celebrated.

106

You know what I mean?

107

It's

108

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Mm-hmm

109

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

it was almost like, the more you could

110

drink, the better, better man you are

111

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah.

112

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

be, because,

113

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351:

Little badge of honor.

114

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

in the next day and you remember

115

what you done last night?

116

we need to speak to

these stories come out.

117

And obviously, the more drunk you

are, it is commensurate to what silly

118

things you're going to be doing.

119

but like I said, none of that.

120

resonated as being an issue.

121

it was just part of me, part of my life,

122

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Mm-hmm

123

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353: of

the lives of everybody that I socialized

124

with, professionally and personally.

125

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Mm-hmm

126

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353: And

then I guess, in my 40s, Slow down a bit,

127

always been a pretty fit guy, run quite a

lot, lift weights, quite a lot box, quite

128

a lot, but, it wasn't an actual moment

where I decided, God, this is getting too

129

much, you know, it's more sort of a slow

build up to that and it was probably.

130

A lot to do with the way I looked,

because as a guy, fast approaching

131

middle age, there's a few things

you can control getting old, you

132

can't control losing your hair, but

you can control the way you look.

133

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Mm-hmm

134

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

to look very unhealthy.

135

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Mm-hmm

136

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

body fat was, around 15 to 18 percent.

137

I was living a very unhealthy life, I was

138

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Mm-hmm

139

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

I was sleeping badly.

140

Alcohol was, you know, still a

very present part of my life.

141

by this stage, the kids are kind

of 8, 9, sort of 10, 11, 12, so

142

get into that age where they can

sort of see what daddy's doing.

143

I just felt like as a role model, I

wasn't really performing that well.

144

I wasn't particularly present for my

wife and the kids as weekends, because

145

you know, it's like that Thursday,

Friday night thing you get to, Saturday

146

and you know, you're struggling, you're

struggling to deal with the hangover

147

and you're struggling to be present.

148

You're struggling to do all the

stuff that you should be doing.

149

Don't get me wrong.

150

I'm not, it was never a

151

problem.

152

You know, I didn't look, I

didn't sort of look at myself

153

and go, you've got a problem.

154

You know, there's an issue there.

155

it was never even discussed or

flagged or addressed in any way.

156

everyone's the same.

157

Like I say, it's middle,

that middle lane drinker is.

158

the, is the guy, the person that falls

between the gaps a bit because you've

159

got, alcoholics at one end that have

been medically diagnosed and are getting

160

the treatment that they deserve You've

got other people at the other end of the

161

scale either don't drink or once or twice

a year Then you've got the people in the

162

middle which a lot of people, sort of 90

percent of people fall and they're kind of

163

in the middle lane, they're either having

164

probably at one end of the scale or the

other end of the scale where they're kind

165

of heading towards alcoholism potentially,

but they're on that scale in the middle.

166

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: I

167

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

are you on that?

168

Who knows?

169

who can say, you know, because there's

so many different levels of it.

170

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: think

as well, often trying to work out

171

where you are on that scale can be

detrimental because it doesn't really

172

matter, like if it's not working for

you and it's impacting your life,

173

why does it matter where Fred is or

where Susan is or where Julie is?

174

for me, sometimes because I knew.

175

People who drank more than me

and had in my life known people

176

who had drunk a lot more than me.

177

that almost kept me a little bit

stuck cause I felt like I wasn't

178

quite bad enough to warrant

stopping, but the truth is that.

179

I had horrible hangovers

and I was terribly anxious.

180

Um, and I did drink far too much.

181

I just didn't drink quite as much as John

or whoever else it was that in my head.

182

I was thinking, well, I'm not that bad.

183

So that scale can be, it can almost,

I don't know, sort of hide, let you

184

hide a little bit where, where you are.

185

You probably have to think more just

about yourself and your own picture, isn't

186

it, and what you're comfortable with.

187

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

Well, your That's all you've got,

188

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: yeah,

189

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

I an alcoholic?

190

Because if I am, I'll go and get

some treatment and some help.

191

If I, if I'm not, then

leave off, I'm fine.

192

I'll just carry on

193

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah,

194

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

You know, I'm not getting up

195

and having a bottle of vodka,

196

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: yeah,

197

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

four times a week.

198

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: yeah,

199

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

you're under the influence of

200

alcohol in some capacity, something

like 60 to 70 percent of your week,

201

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: mm hmm,

202

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

Either consuming alcohol or under the

203

influence in some capacity, whether it

be a hangover or whatever, you know,

204

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351:

yeah, yeah,

205

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

so yeah, I guess I started

206

to realize, I was overweight.

207

I think that's the key thing is,

I developed this amazing knack

208

of avoiding mirrors, avoiding

looking at myself in the mirror.

209

And when you're in a house with.

210

for women, you know, that

really is something because

211

there's mirrors everywhere.

212

So, one day I was like, you haven't

looked at yourself for the last six

213

months, you know, I'd get on the scales

and it was becoming very apparent that

214

I was putting on quite a lot of weight

215

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: mm

216

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

I needed to address that.

217

And the only way really to do that,

was to, stop going out and throwing

218

empty calories into my body and

carry on training and hopefully

219

get some of that weight off.

220

So I started experimenting with challenges

because one of the big problems when you

221

try and take a break from alcohol is,

222

That social anxiety that the people

throw on you, you know, particularly

223

if you're a celebrated drunk like

I was, you know, like everyone

224

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: hmm,

225

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

So if you're not there first at the

226

bar, last at the bar, then you're almost

sort of surplus to their requirements.

227

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351:

mm hmm, mm hmm, mm hmm,

228

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

didn't create them, but I had to have

229

challenges in my life because coming

from the recruitment world, everyone,

230

everyone's target driven and the

challenges left, right and center.

231

So, you know, people can almost accept

that if you say something like I'm

232

having months off, they're like, excuse

me, they can almost accept that and you

233

accept it along with them, but there's

never really a fundamental change to you

234

because again, all I was saying to myself

was I just need to lose some weight.

235

I need to get fit.

236

Once I get through the next three

months, I'll drop a few stone and

237

I'll go back to being that guy again.

238

So don't worry.

239

I'm just going to do this for myself.

240

I need to do it for myself.

241

So, you know, support me through it.

242

I've done that quite a few times, like

I've done, a month here and there,

243

everyone does dry January and then I've

probably continued it a bit longer.

244

unbeknownst to me, I was already

trying to change, I was already

245

trying to get that part of that change

process that we talk about quite a

246

lot, um, you know, contemplation, pre

contemplation, contemplation, action,

247

um, I'd already started that process.

248

Throughout 2018, I've had

two breaks from alcohol.

249

I've had two three month breaks.

250

Lost some weight, felt

healthier, slept better.

251

All the things that, you expect

to feel when you stop throwing

252

that much rubbish into your body.

253

always sort of went back to it and

then, I had this one challenge in my

254

head, this one year no beard challenge

255

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: mm

256

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

and I had this, this, this

257

desire to take a year off.

258

But, you know, you can imagine running a

business being heavily sociable, you know,

259

my wife and I were big, big drinkers,

but my mates were drinkers and we were

260

colleagues with drinkers to make that

decision was potentially huge because

261

running a business, particularly.

262

You're gonna lose stuff You think to

yourself, if you don't go out socially

263

with them, and you are not that guy in

the pub with them of, of an evening so

264

they can, you know, they can offload

on you and you can find all the juicy

265

gossip out, then you're gonna lose stuff.

266

so there was lots of really

challenging, limiting beliefs knocking

267

about that I had to deal with.

268

I had a particularly heavy family

269

And flying home the following

day I said to my wife Deborah,

270

that's it, I've got to do it.

271

And I'm gonna do it now.

272

can't, I can't feel like this again.

273

You know, like I woke up feeling

absolutely terrible without a,

274

without a real skin for the weekend.

275

Actually, it wasn't just the night.

276

It was like a couple of days.

277

if you've ever been to a Scottish

wedding, you'll know what I mean.

278

they're pretty

279

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351:

No, I have,

280

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

so from that, I think it was the 19th of

281

April 2019, I joined the one year no beer

crusade, signed up to it on Facebook.

282

and started that journey,

fortunately for me, I've known

283

Andy Ramage for a very long time.

284

We went to school together.

285

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Mm hmm.

286

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

I've always sort of followed his

287

journey, his alcohol free journey.

288

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah.

289

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

tapped up Andy and jumped onto that

290

sort of, platform, Facebook at the time.

291

And, yeah.

292

It was just an incredible year.

293

not that it's tough.

294

It was tough, you know, really tough.

295

I mean, I've done everything that

you would do in a year cycle.

296

So family

297

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: hmm.

298

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

really difficult.

299

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Mm

300

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

socializing out with clients

301

you know, so nothing changed

from a social point of view,

302

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: hmm.

303

Mm hmm.

304

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

perhaps a tapered off the sort of

305

Thursday, Friday night drinking.

306

I still go out and buy one,

a few beers and be present.

307

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah.

308

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

but, and it got really, it got, and

309

it got, it got so much, it's so much

easier and having the support of the

310

one year, one year no beer community

at that time was just, was just.

311

You know, a lifesaver,, because you,

312

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Mm hmm.

313

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

you'd be sitting at home on a

314

Saturday afternoon and it'd be four

o'clock and that's the sort of time

315

of the day that you might start

cooking some dinner or you might go

316

and a beer or whatever it might be.

317

And you'd be thinking,

318

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Mm hmm.

319

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

really fancy a pint or, you know, I

320

think I might just have one, but you

jump onto that community and you say,

321

I'm just, I'm thinking about having a

pint, but we'll do one thing and you just

322

get like this barrage of people going.

323

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah.

324

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

look, you're six months in.

325

What are you talking about?

326

Go and get an hour, go and get

Heineken Zero out of the fridge.

327

Have that, sit with that

for, for, for an hour.

328

See how you feel.

329

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah.

330

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

know, that level of support

331

that I got from, From those

guys was just unbelievable.

332

And it got me through that year,

333

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah.

334

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353: and

I got to, April of 2, 20 20, and we all

335

know what happened then, you know, the,

336

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Mm hmm.

337

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

kicked in and I think

338

I had done some real work on myself

throughout that year because all,

339

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Mm hmm.

340

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

to do was get through the year

341

and I wanted to survive the year.

342

I wanted to address my

relationship with alcohol.

343

I wanted to break all those, Ties

that I had with, you know, going down

344

the pub on a Wednesday or Thursday

or Friday or whatever it was.

345

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Mm

346

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

that arena and the weight, get healthy

347

and see where I was in the year.

348

There was no, I was never ever

going to stop drinking completely.

349

It was never a,

350

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: hmm.

351

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

that was never the driver.

352

And then so April of that year

here, I think I lasted till

353

May of lock, in the lockdown.

354

I think I had about 13

months of, of alcohol free.

355

And then.

356

Yeah, you know, like everybody, lockdown

happened and, and because I'd finished the

357

challenge, it was, the, the, gloves were

back off and, and I was back in the game.

358

And then like everybody, I think

I spent the rest of the year

359

self medicating, you know, through

lockdown, , that was, there was

360

little else to do other than,

Other than drink, wasn't it?

361

And everyone fell into the same boat.

362

I think sales of alcohol

nearly doubled, didn't it?

363

During those, during those months.

364

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Oh, so

many people that I know, even drinkers

365

who would have considered themselves

very normal drinkers, escalated in

366

that year to some serious habits.

367

I mean, I've had one lady on the

podcast who say she went from being

368

a completely normal drinker to a.

369

Total alcoholic, very ill, had to stop.

370

I think lockdown was, it

was a permission, wasn't it?

371

That you probably don't need if you've got

a tendency to enjoy too much drink anyway.

372

It was definitely a green

light there, wasn't there?

373

It was nothing else to do.

374

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

Well, the thing,

375

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Why not?

376

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

with the Monday to Friday thing in most

377

people's lives, there is some structure

and some rules there, aren't there?

378

You know, like, you know, you don't.

379

drink on a Monday or Tuesday,

380

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah.

381

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353: and

if you did have a drink on a Wednesday,

382

you'd have a couple, you wouldn't have

too many because you've got Thursday

383

and then you've got Thursday night,

but then you drink on a Sunday night.

384

But there was none of that, was

like, well, seven days a week.

385

Doesn't really matter.

386

You haven't got to get up for anything.

387

So, what's stopping you?

388

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah.

389

And also things like work.

390

I remember work drinks online,

work drinks, Zoom meetings.

391

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

Yeah.

392

Done a lot,

393

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351:

Things like that are happening at

394

like half four in the afternoon.

395

That's not gonna do

you much good later on.

396

Is it Not?

397

If you like a glass of

wine, you just keep going.

398

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

it's carried on.

399

Yeah.

400

I

401

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: yeah.

402

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

relationship throughout that year though.

403

Like I think had I, I don't think I was as

bad as I would have been during lockdown

404

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah.

405

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

relationship.

406

So I wasn't, you know,

407

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Mm-hmm

408

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

drinking every

409

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: There

was a level of consciousness there.

410

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353: Like

I, I think mainly because of the sleep,

411

you know, for me, My sleep's interrupted.

412

When I have a drink, whether

it's one pint or 10 pints,

413

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Mm-hmm

414

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

fractious night sleep, so

415

that affects me the next day

and, well next couple of days.

416

So I was always very conscious of

that and thinking, you know, I really

417

want to get a good night's sleep,

so I'm not gonna have anything.

418

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah.

419

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353: so I

420

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Mm-hmm

421

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

guess I, I'm fortunate in that

422

respect, that enough for me

to keep it at bay for a bit.

423

And then my wife and I decided that

in the January of the following year.

424

We were going to get some weight off.

425

We were going to get, we

were going to get fit.

426

And we took a three month challenge.

427

We got onto the, Six pack revolution.

428

I don't know if you've ever

heard of that, have you?

429

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: No.

430

Mm-hmm

431

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

months alcohol free, lots

432

of exercise, lots of healthy

eating, all that sort of stuff.

433

So, done

434

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Mm-hmm

435

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

a couple of times during that year.

436

I got to a point during that year

where I was like, do you know what?

437

Actually, I'm just going to leave

the drink alone again because I

438

just don't think it works for me.

439

So I left it, walked away from it,

didn't make a big deal about it,

440

didn't discuss it in any kind of I

was just, I'm just going to leave it.

441

Thanks.

442

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Mm-hmm

443

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

I'd join someone and have a glass

444

of wine or two or a couple of beers,

but I pretty much just left it alone.

445

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah.

446

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

and then was T total, I think alcohol

447

free for following year to months, just.

448

I was quite happy to leave.

449

It was quite happy to deal with them

sort of social pressures and everybody

450

became to know me as the guy as Matt.

451

He doesn't drink.

452

He's not gonna have a drink tonight.

453

So I've got, I've got

sort of left alone really

454

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351:

New identity, isn't it?

455

When you've been the one that they

think is going to be popping the bar up.

456

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

exactly.

457

And I

458

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah.

459

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

different ways.

460

You know, it didn't become about going.

461

To the pub and having 10 pints have

become about having a game of golf or,

462

or going down the gym or, or having a run

or, or walk meeting up and having a walk

463

or something that was less focused on.

464

On standing in a pub for hours on end.

465

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351:

Much more wholesome though, isn't it?

466

Yeah.

467

Yeah.

468

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353: we

can still be mates, we can still do stuff.

469

It's just not going to involve me

standing in a pub getting hammered.

470

but it got to a point where

I was missing out on stuff.

471

I felt like I was missing out on stuff,

you know, so my mates meet up quite

472

regularly in pubs and stuff and have

a few beers So I felt like, again,

473

there was no real reason for me not to.

474

Do you know what I mean?

475

So it was like, well, go

and have a pint or two.

476

So I'd go and I'd have, I'd literally

have a pint or two of Guinness, I'd

477

be very conscious of that, you know,

throughout, I think it was throughout

478

I could, could tell you, I could

count on one hand, the amount of

479

times I went out and had a drink.

480

I'd still go out, but I'd be very guarded

about it because I was very protective of

481

my sleep, and the impact it has on me and

the impact it has on my exercise and my

482

well being and the sort of next day or so.

483

So

484

it sort of to a point where.

485

You realize that you're, you

have to make a trade off.

486

What, what are you willing to

give up tomorrow for today?

487

And I'd be sitting there and I think,

well, am I going to drink tonight?

488

Am I not going to drink tonight?

489

I just know I'm not going to

drink tonight because I want

490

to go for that run tomorrow.

491

I'd go out and I've driven

myself mad about it for the

492

24 hours before the night out.

493

Then the amount of willpower that I've,

I've burnt, just, just debating whether

494

or not I'm going to go and have two or

three pints of Guinness with my mates.

495

It's just.

496

You know, you do

497

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351:

It's exhausting.

498

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

it is tiring, you know, and I, got

499

to, 15 January last year, 20th of

January last year, and I went out,

500

I was skiing, I was lucky enough to

be, in the mountains with my family.

501

I had the most amazing day.

502

we went to, a great, ski

club up in the mountains.

503

I had an amazing time.

504

some alcohol that day.

505

Woke up the next day

feeling absolutely terrible.

506

And I just said to my wife, That's it.

507

I'm going to drop the mic.

508

I'm done with alcohol completely.

509

I'm just going to leave it I've

had a great drinking career.

510

I've got very good at it.

511

You know, like most of us, I

was an incredibly good drunk,

512

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351:

I was an expert drinker.

513

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

drinker.

514

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: I

can hand that on to someone else now.

515

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

but I'm done, you know, and I think

516

that also coincided with me starting

to work on myself and starting to

517

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah.

518

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

what,

519

who I am and what I

520

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah.

521

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

You know, so many people in that middle

522

lane just, Bumble from day to day, week

to week, you just sort of follow that

523

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah.

524

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

process of drinking, getting up,

525

going to work, drinking, getting

up, going to work, eating crap,

526

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Hmm.

527

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

chuck a training session in there

528

because, you know, you should do, but

once you sort of come outside of the

529

jar for a bit and look at the label

and realize what does that, what

530

is that doing to you as a person?

531

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Hmm.

532

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

you personally?

533

Where are you going?

534

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351:

even like you were talking about you

535

could say you've got a night out on

Saturday And you're there having the

536

conversation with yourself about the

drinking and how much you're gonna

537

have and it's gonna impact my sleep

And how am I gonna feel the next day?

538

So I went through all of that stuff as

well I would talk to myself about what

539

would happen as a result of a night

out And now that I look back on that,

540

it does seem a little bit bonkers.

541

Cause I'm like, I did have a choice.

542

I could have just said, well, actually

I won't, it didn't feel like that at the

543

time it felt like, well, I'm going out.

544

So I will obviously drink and then,

oh gosh, how am I going to make sure

545

that I haven't ruined the next day?

546

I'm not completely knackered or

I don't say something stupid or.

547

But then I'd just go out and drink anyway.

548

It's almost madness.

549

Like when I look back on the process

and the anxiety that it induced, I

550

don't just mean afterwards when you've

got a hangover, but I would be anxious

551

about the results of a future night out.

552

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

I mean, I think most people

553

are socially, awkward.

554

Most people grow up socially awkward.

555

No one grows up with loads

of confidence, do they?

556

They can walk into

557

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: yeah.

558

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

a room.

559

like, alcohol gives you that confidence,

560

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Hmm.

561

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

Well, I did

562

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah.

563

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

reliant upon

564

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah.

565

Yeah.

566

Hmm.

567

Hmm.

568

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

with my mates.

569

It's ridiculous.

570

You know, like why would I, why would

I, you know, whereas I could see him

571

on the train in the morning and have

exactly the same conversation with

572

him as I would have done the night.

573

It's just, you know, it was crazy.

574

So, yeah, I mean, I think the

thing on that is, is, we talk

575

about ambivalence quite a lot.

576

And I think you realize what ambivalence

is and, and, particularly, alcohol,

577

which is, it kills the best laid plans.

578

You know, when you're ambivalent

to alcohol, it just kills every,

579

every plan that you've ever made.

580

You know, so the work that I've done

on myself last year and the year

581

before last was to really address that.

582

Now, what does alcohol mean to me?

583

put it down on paper.

584

What would I get out of it?

585

What does it give me?

586

the perceived upsides for me, for

me drinking, the perceived downsides

587

to me drinking, what I'll get

out of it, what does it give me?

588

You know, when you write all that

information down and you look up

589

what the pluses and minuses are,

you can imagine, one side of the

590

paper is full Reasons not to drink.

591

What does it do?

592

How does it affect my life?

593

fitness, nutrition, relationships.

594

Are you present for

your family, your kids?

595

What's it doing to your sleep?

596

What's it doing to your professional life?

597

What's it doing to your

performance generally?

598

And then you look at the other side

and the only thing that you can

599

look at is it helps me socially.

600

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Hmm.

601

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

there's one

602

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351:

about 10 minutes, cause then

603

it doesn't matter anyway.

604

Yeah.

605

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

whatever, so there's like literally

606

one thing and then the rest of

the page is filled up with like 25

607

other things that are negatives.

608

It's not until you do that,

that you really realize.

609

It clears the ambivalence up, you

know, you sort of, you can look

610

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: It

611

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

you look at that and you go,

612

it's pointless.

613

It's absolutely pointless.

614

I can still get,

615

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: really

helps with, I think that what you've done

616

exercise that you've just spoken about

often when I meet people who are just

617

starting the, I'm not drinking journey,

there's a real disconnect between what

618

they want to do and what they want to do.

619

So they're saying that they

want to stop drinking, but they

620

feel like they want to drink.

621

So they're trying to

do something that they.

622

trying to stop doing something that

they think they still want to do.

623

So they're missing out on

something by doing this.

624

And it's a, it's a willpower

thing and it's a battle and

625

it's all of those things.

626

Once you really understand that

it really doesn't give you.

627

Anything over and above, like

you say, maybe 10, 15 minutes of

628

confidence that perhaps you needed

to walk into a room, 10, 15 minutes

629

of numbing after a bad day, whatever

it might be that first little bit.

630

Once you realize that there is not

more to be gained from having it.

631

You lose that.

632

It's the cognitive dissonance, isn't it?

633

You lose that belief that you're

now missing out on something.

634

And if you truly can believe that, if

you can, Write it down, like you've

635

said, and you can look at it and think

there is nothing that I'm giving up here.

636

and everything to gain when you

look at that page of other things,

637

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

absolutely.

638

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: and

it's much easier because all of a sudden

639

you're doing the right thing for yourself.

640

And you kind of want to do that.

641

It's just a much easier journey.

642

If you can crack that early on, I think it

really helps, which certainly helped me.

643

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

I wish I'd done it five years ago.

644

Like, I wish I'd, when I had that

year off, I wish I'd had a coach then.

645

I wish I'd had

646

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah.

647

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

me to say, right, let's do the work now.

648

You know, you're in the right space.

649

You know, you're motivated.

650

You want to make that change.

651

Let's make it last.

652

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: yeah,

653

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

because if I had, I'd have come to,

654

I've got to where I am now, four or five

655

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: earlier.

656

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

look, I'm not anti alcohol, I

657

genuinely, I'm pro awareness.

658

I want people to know it does to you

659

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351:

yeah, a choice.

660

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

take a break, come away from it for

661

three months, do the work, look at what

it does to you, look at what it's done

662

to you, look at your relationships,

look how better you perform without it.

663

And then make that decision

664

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Mm hmm.

665

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

do I go back to it?

666

Do I want to go back to it?

667

Don't want that in my life.

668

sometimes people say they do,

you know, people's people,

669

and that's absolutely fine.

670

But as long as you're going into it with

your eyes open you've come out jar and

671

you're looking at the label and you know

all the risks that are attached to it.

672

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351:

And there's not that many people

673

that decide to do it, who don't

then decide not to later on.

674

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

That's right.

675

I mean, one of the big things for me this

last year was I got a call to adventure.

676

You know, I got a call to climb

my second mountain and that,

677

involved becoming a coach.

678

And so,

679

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Mm

680

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

stay in touch with Andy Rammage.

681

Throughout the whole process

and watched his career, and he

682

started running, coaching courses

683

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: hmm.

684

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

obviously massive alcohol

685

free guy, you know,

686

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: hmm.

687

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

psychology and alcohol free coaching

688

diploma that I achieved last year.

689

Can't recommend him enough.

690

I mean, the, worst case for me,

the reason I signed up for that

691

was just to do some work on myself.

692

I just wanted to learn a bit

693

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah.

694

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

who I am, you know, what alcohol does.

695

means to me and how I deliver

the message to people in

696

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: hmm.

697

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

productive possible way.

698

Because lots of people would ask me about

the break I'm taking and why aren't you

699

having a drink and how does that work?

700

When I couldn't really give them anything

other than I just didn't feel great.

701

So I wanted to lose some weight.

702

So I

703

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah.

704

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

And a lot of the time

705

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah.

706

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

there's a lot of people In the same

707

boat as me, where it's like, you know,

they don't want to be a part of that.

708

They want to take a break.

709

But I just don't know how to do

710

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah.

711

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

don't know where to start.

712

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Mm

713

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

yeah, I've done that diploma and,

714

met some amazing people on my cohort.

715

Your brother being one

of them who now is a,

716

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: hmm.

717

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

I'm sure, an amazing coach.

718

And.

719

It's just brought me

so much the last year.

720

So I'm like, okay, I'm your coach.

721

there to support you and help you

and help you to achieve your goals.

722

quite a lot of the time I'm,

talking to my clients about, well,

723

you know, part of your goal at the

beginning was to go back to drinking.

724

If that's something you still want to

achieve, then let's talk about that.

725

And generally they all say I'm,

no I'm fine, I don't, I can't,

726

there's no upside to me having a

drink at this stage of the game.

727

A lot of people have gone from,

I'm going to have 3 months, 6

728

months, I'm going to have 12 months.

729

I was just, the first client that

I worked with he's done, he's not

730

going to drink again because he

just doesn't see any upside to it.

731

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah.

732

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

yeah,

733

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351:

I'd agree with that.

734

I fully intended to stop and that

was gonna be it when I stopped.

735

I just can't imagine enjoying it anymore.

736

Now I know too much.

737

I think that's the thing.

738

Once you start on the kind of alcohol

free space, you learn a lot, don't you?

739

Because you read a lot of books, you

listen to podcasts, you meet interesting

740

people, find a lot of stuff out.

741

And also just from your own experiences,

how you feel, like you say, your

742

sleep, your skin, professionally,

emotionally, in your body.

743

personal relationships, there

isn't anything in my life that

744

hasn't improved immeasurably.

745

So I would just never choose it because

I know that it wouldn't be as good.

746

And I didn't know that when

I started out, I didn't know

747

that it was going to be better.

748

I genuinely thought when I started, look,

it's something that I'm just going to have

749

to do because I haven't got an off button.

750

I'm getting on a bit.

751

I'm feeling terrible every time I drink,

so I'm just going to have to stop.

752

Have to stop is how I felt.

753

And what I've realized is that that

turned fairly quickly into just so

754

glad and want to stop and have no

interest in returning to it at all.

755

And honestly, for anyone

listening like that, that is not

756

something I thought would happen.

757

I didn't believe that would be the case,

but it is and it is for so many people.

758

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

don't do that because it was what

759

we said earlier, but why would

760

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah.

761

and also stopping forever for me,

completely the right thing to do

762

because I'm an all or nothing kind of

girl, I couldn't have the conversation

763

with myself about going back to it.

764

When was it going to, how

much was it going to have?

765

What nights would be okay?

766

What would all that?

767

I just couldn't do that again.

768

I do know people.

769

Who absolutely had to know that they

were going to be able to go back to it

770

to enable them to manage the stopping

because it felt too big to say forever.

771

So it just depends on the

person and coaching is a really

772

good way to find out as well.

773

Who are you and what way

is the best way for you?

774

And then it might change.

775

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

really lucky because I do this

776

work with people every single day.

777

You know, I'm going through the, the

ambivalent seesaw with them, so if

778

I was ever any doubt, if there's any

kind of, you can have a drink again,

779

you know, I'm doing the work every day.

780

We're talking about willpower, you

know, we're talking about it's finite.

781

You can't rely on willpower forever.

782

You know,

783

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah.

784

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

those habits and then non

785

negotiable things that you

need to build back into your

786

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Mm hmm.

787

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

make sure that when alcohol

788

does creep back in again,

789

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: hmm.

790

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

up, you know, and then non

791

negotiables for me is so important.

792

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah.

793

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

in my life, you win the

794

morning, you win the day.

795

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Yeah.

796

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

you've had a drink the night before,

797

you're not winning the morning,

you're not getting up at five o'clock,

798

you're not going for your cycle,

for your walk, for your run, for the

799

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Mm.

800

Yeah.

801

It's brilliant.

802

So our time has zoomed where we've

actually gone way over, but I don't mind.

803

It's been lovely talking

to you, so that's good.

804

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

into my

805

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Um,

would be good to hear a little bit about

806

your company if you want to share it,

807

so if there's a way that people

can contact you, let us know.

808

The details, that'd be helpful.

809

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

Yeah, so, you'll find me on LinkedIn if

810

you just search Matt Harty, H A R T I E.

811

you'll find me out there.

812

there's quite a lot of content on my feed.

813

so just send me a message via LinkedIn

and if you need some coaching or

814

some help getting alcohol free, I'm

obviously there to help and support.

815

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351: Sure.

816

Well, thank you very much, Matt.

817

sounds like such an interesting.

818

Journey that you've been on.

819

lots of people will have been

through similar things in lockdown

820

and some maybe haven't decided to do

anything as yet, but I'm sure that

821

your story might inspire them to

have at least a good think about it.

822

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

Yeah, definitely.

823

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351:

yeah, can't wait.

824

Yeah.

825

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

everyone, everyone wants

826

to take January off.

827

So during the month of January,

just, address your relationship.

828

don't run towards the finish line.

829

. vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351:

So, well, thank you so much.

830

Thank you for coming on and

sharing your story with us.

831

It's been a real pleasure.

832

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353:

Thank you

833

worries.

834

vic-host374_2_01-07-2025_171351:

So thanks very much, Matt.

835

And bye.

836

squadcaster-7a5d_2_01-07-2025_171353: you.

837

Thank you for listening.

838

To Sabre alcohol-free stories.

839

If this episode helped you,

Please like share and follow.

840

Or leave a review on pod chaser.

841

Dot com.

842

And if you've got a story to

tell, please contact me on Sabre.

843

A F stories@outlook.com.

844

And don't forget.

845

You can make your catch phrase.

846

I don't drink.