Today, we're diving into a topic that resonates with all of us: the importance of honoring our individual journeys and priorities, even when they differ from the mainstream. What holds significance to us may not hold the same weight for everyone else and that's perfectly okay! It's time to give ourselves permission to be unapologetically focused on what truly matters to us. As we embark on this journey, we'll explore the power of being solution-oriented and maintaining resilience in the face of challenges.
I've had a few situations from my own life recently that have taught me invaluable lessons. From falling behind on laundry to switching up our child-care provider, I've discovered that sticking up for what feels best for myself and my family, even if others may not always understand or agree, is the best thing I can do!
But why stop at just these areas of life? We delve into why adopting a solution-oriented mindset is crucial in every aspect of our lives. By actively seeking resolutions, we can overcome obstacles, regain control, and restore balance when we feel overwhelmed or buried beneath our responsibilities. No matter how behind or stressed you may feel, I'll provide you with practical strategies to guide you back to equilibrium.
What you'll hear in this episode:
[0:00] What’s important to you does not need to be important to everyone else.
[1:25] What do I need in this season of my life?
[3:10] Why you need to be solution-oriented in any aspect of your life.
[4:45] How to get back to ground zero when you’re buried.
[6:00] The other thing that popped up that brought this up.
[7:55] Your responsibility is to get really clear on what is important to you and find the best pieces for that.
[10:00] The things that you believe in will not be the same for everyone.
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Kelsey Smith 0:00
So allowing yourself to be solution oriented, allowing yourself to look for what the next step is, or the next solution, allowing yourself to let things go when they're not a fit. And allowing yourself to stay strong, and what is important to you. Because what's important to you does not need to be important to everyone else. The way that you parent, the things that you believe in, will not be the same for everyone. And once you kind of make peace with that, and you allow yourself to just be different or misunderstood, you can have a lot of peace because you don't attach to that. Welcome to mama has goals, your weekly reminder that you shouldn't have to sacrifice your dreams to take on the role of mom. I'm Kelsey Smith, mom of two boys. Why an entrepreneur who's passionate about helping other moms current and aspiring to reimagine mom life. I'm bringing you the resources, support and relatability to debunk that limiting belief that you may have about your ability to achieve your goals while raising a human. We're covering everything from mom guilt, marriage, relationships, careers, finances, mental health, physical health, you name it, your life doesn't have to fully shift once you become a mom, you can have it all. And we'll show you how.
Kelsey Smith 1:27
I've had a couple situations come up in my life lately that is nice to watch question how strongly I believe about something. And I'll give you a couple examples. But one was just a direction that I took in to get some like chores and things situated in my life, whether it's how I want to clean up my house in organizing or take care of laundry. And the other was in my parents scene in these two specific situations came up. And what I realized is there were so many people that would not understand or judge or have an opinion on that dynamic. But at the end of the day, I had to come back to what do I need in this season? And what decision am I allowing myself and trusting myself to make. And in one situation, it was actually our laundry. So in the first situation, we got a little backtracked on laundry between having sick kids, I just hate laundry, I've talked about it here before, I'm sure many of you can resonate. And I was feeling like I was going to be spending a whole day getting caught up on laundry in a week that I really didn't have a lot of time. And so what I looked at was like, Okay, what are my options here. And what I ended up doing was looking up Washington fold services in town. And I ended up dropping off a couple loads of laundry to get washed and folded from this facility in town for an amount of money that I felt like I could make working during that time that I would have been folding. And it doesn't always have to be in exchange for just like me making that money in my job. I will say like if you use this example to incorporate into your life, and you're just spending time with your family or kids, like that's so worth something, right. But I looked at this and said, Okay, I don't know if this is a forever thing that I'm going to do or a habit. But what I do know is I'm feeling stressed because I'm behind and I need to find a solution to catch me up. And this right now seems like a good solution. There's so many people, and maybe it's even you that would be like you dropped your clothes off to get washed and folded. And I have my own background of my upbringing and society that tells me, you should be able to do this yourself. And maybe I should, but I also have a lot of plates spinning right now. And that was something that I could solve in a different way. Now that might show up in other places, too. Maybe it's outsourcing something in your life. Maybe it's just the way that you're allowing yourself to have some fun or freedom. And people are gonna maybe have opinions. And you might even find opinions about yourself through that. But in any time that I see a problem, I try to find a solution. I believe in being solution oriented in any aspect of your life. Because I guess I don't really understand the other side. If you see a problem, and you're not willing to try to find a solution. I don't see how that benefits you. So if you can try to find a solution, and you potentially find one, then you have a solve for that moment, right. So in this example, I am realizing hey, I'm behind. I need to solve for this. I found a solve for this. It makes sense within the budget boundaries and whatever that I'm putting around it. So I'm going to execute and take action. Now. I'm caught up. I'm back at ground zero if you will, and then I get To decide what happens next and how I show up in between, but if I were to just keep getting buried, then it would be so much harder to come up. So maybe there's something going on in your life that you're feeling a little buried. And maybe there's a way for you to get back to ground zero, maybe there's a way for you to get your head above water. And maybe it's doing something like a Washington fold service, and also share these things with others. That's why I'm sharing it with you today. Because I didn't know that this existed until I saw someone posted on their stories. And they actually were able to just where they live, have it on an app, or someone came and picked it up and dropped it back off. That isn't as popular where I live. But it allowed me to see wow, there's an option, there is a solution. And now I'm going to figure out how I can pull that into my life and doesn't make sense for me right now in this season. And when I first saw it, I didn't think so. But it came back to me, when I realized that I did need a solution like that where I would maybe not need but would like to have a solution like that in this moment. The other thing that popped up that brought this up for me of people just maybe not agreeing with you and not understanding but you doing what's best for you is recently we had to switch up our care providers. And one of the situations that brought this change was a care provider that we've had for a period of time, and definitely had a specific fondness for one of our children over the other and was not getting the best version of one of our children in return, because of kind of the feeling and the communication that was being put out to him as well. And it's something that it's been an interesting situation, because you as the parent just have to show up in the way that you feel strongly and not everyone parents the same way. And your care providers may also not parent or care, the same way that you've set certain boundaries. And sometimes that's okay. And sometimes you have to find the right fit to your puzzle. And if there's certain things that you don't feel super strong about that there's certain things that you do, you have to find that balance right. In this situation, specifically, this care provider had some opinions on how children should respond and react and show up in a conversation with an adult or a care provider that are actually really different than some of the choices we've made as parents to implement for our children. And there's no right or wrong, if you're a different parent, that's okay for you. But in this exact situation, if that's how you believe you want to parent for your kids, you have to make sure you have a care provider that matches that, right. And what we were realizing is this specific care provider didn't agree, or respect or match our parenting beliefs, and what we wanted to really allow our children to grow and create within themselves. And this example, what it's shown me throughout this process is, in each situation, there's going to be a difference of opinions and beliefs. But your responsibility is to get really clear on what's important to you, and find the best pieces for that. Right. So laundry, doing it myself is not that important to me. One, I don't want to do it too. It's not probably the best use of my time in certain situations and certain weeks. Now, of course, we don't always have the money to have someone else figure that out for us. But it's all about priorities, and changing up what it is that you're putting your energy money and mental state physicals to hate emotional state into. Same thing with this parenting situation and its care provider, in the sense of is that a better situation than many to be caring for my kids? Absolutely. But then at some point in time, I have to realize that this is no longer a fit. It's no longer allowing the best environment for the success of our family and our kids because it's not a good fit for us and our beliefs and what we are looking to incorporate in our kids and our family. Now someone else may be perfectly happy with that puzzle piece. Someone else may be perfectly happy getting caught up on laundry and doing that. But you have to know what is right for you, where you're going to switch things up, where you're going to invest your time and energy and where others might not understand. So allowing yourself to be solution oriented, allowing yourself to look for what the next step is or the next solution. Allowing yourself to let things go when they're not a fit and allowing yourself to stay strong and what is important to you because has what's important to you does not need to be important to everyone else. The way that you parent, the things that you believe in will not be the same for everyone. And once you kind of make peace with that, and you allow yourself to just be different or misunderstood, you can have a lot of peace because you don't attach to that. So in this situation, I had about 30 seconds where I question my beliefs and my goal of parenting this specific dynamic. And what I realized after a quick 30 seconds was like, no, no, I feel really good about this, like, I'm proud of how this has shown up for my family, I'm proud of how I've shown up in this way. And it's okay, if I misunderstood by this person. It's okay if the way that they parent the way that they are care provider, the way that they show up in families doesn't fit with ours. And we just need to move on to something that's a better fit. And I think that if you can just take a little bit of that each day each week, and allow yourself to not get caught up in maybe what someone else thinks about your journey, or your choices. I think at the end of the day, if your intention we've talked about this before, if your intentions in the right place, and you're doing a little bit of homework, a little bit of research, and you're standing strong, and whatever it is that you're doing laundry opportunities and solutions or different parenting techniques and care providers, then that's all you can do. So I just want to give you permission to be misunderstood. I want to give you permission to stand strong in your beliefs. I want to give you permission to find opportunities that you maybe wouldn't have previously looked for. Because when you look for those opportunities in those permissions, you will find them so sending you so much love mama keep going after those goals. And I'll talk to you next week.Kelsey Smith:
Mom in your life that you see and love her by sharing this episode. Giving while your cup is overflowing always pays itself back tenfold when you need it most.