How do we make the most of this new normal? How do we break out of habits we no longer need? Growth and Mindset coach Heather Rooke of St Albans Holistic Therapies takes a practical and straight-talking approach with the Problem Busters - encouraging us to investing in ourselves, dispelling common myths along the way.
Heather has a no-nonsense, down to earth way to explaining phrases and terms we hear often, but may not understand (such as Mindset, Therapy, Meditation, Yoga, or the concept of Perception vs. Reality).
We look at the current situation many of us find ourselves in, as we emerge from consecutive lockdowns, and uncover a healthy list of practical advice that can be applied to many areas of life right now.
About the show:
Problem Busters is a show that explores solutions to the biggest and the smallest of problems. Hosts Jonathan Goodwin and Oliver Happy discuss making the world a better place with guests from far and wide.
About our guest:
Heather Rooke is a Growth and Mindset Coach, an NLP Practitioner; a Psychodynamic Counsellor and a Holistic Therapist. Heather believes that we all have an innate ability to achieve our dreams and grow far beyond our perceived potential and in listening to her explain so many of life's realities, we fully agree.
What is a Multi-hyphenate? A person with several sets of skills, several strands to their career.
What is a Holistic therapist? Someone who works with different therapies that support the mind, body and soul
03:20 Have we lost touch with ourselves as a society? We have tech, we are connected, but some of these tools have disconnected us from ourselves and others. So we have an opportunity to reconnect.
04:00 90s babies that can't even have a meal without watching something. Jonathan growing up with screens all around him.
So how do we help people who have grown up with screens all around them to get to know themselves?
05:20 I work with people to help them listen, to their mind, body and soul, so they can optimise their lives. By truly listening, people come to identify who they really are and what they really want.
Mind, body and soul? What does that mean?
How do we differentiate between them?
The Mind is our thoughts and our reasoning. The soul is far more intuitive, the emotion and how we feel within ourselves. The part that knows whether we are feeling joy or not.
Mindset and coaching people to help them change it.
08:00 It starts with learning to listen, to emotions, to your body, to your thoughts and to pay attention to what is happening. This leads to understand ourselves and to think about how they want to be.
Heather's passion: to support people in investing in themselves and helping them to optimise their lives.
Things to try: Meditation, journalling and focusing on your general healthy
09:30 The different types of councelling and psychodynamic councelling as a way to understand the present.
12:00 Councelling looks at the past and impact on the present, holistic therapies around about living the best life in the present and coaching is looking at the future.
What is self-care and what tips could people apply to their daily lives?
13:00 Self care is about more than downtime. It goes a lot deeper to really focusing on ourselves internally.
Book: Miracle mornings by Hal Elrod
13:30 Savers: Silences (e.g. meditation), Affirmations (positive thoughts, songs that lift you), visualisation (dreaming about what you want), exercising (needed daily), reading and scribing (journaling your thoughts).
Drawing is a form of meditation as you are focusing and stilling the mind.
Teaching a friend to draw as if it is tai-chi! Drawing as a similar type of meditation, as the movement of the pencil being a flow of a meditation.
20:00 Meditation is about steadying the mind and being able to notice our thoughts, but not feel that we need to take action on them. Meditation is not about stilling the mind, and the calming of the nervous system can come in many forms; running, yoga, sitting quietly, walking.
We have become so busy that we have forgotten how to just be still. Anything we can do to slow the mind is so helpful in our daily lives.
Meditation being similar to a prayer, where you focus daily on what you are thankful for in the day, to assess what has happened, what is about to happen and what you would like to have happen.
Yoga as a nice way to bring prayer into a busy life
Podcast: Feel better, live more
Book: Feel better in five by Dr Rumney
If all you can do every morning is lie on your yoga mat for 5 minutes, that is still a practice. That is still helpful.
22:58 How to take the first steps in breaking an unhealthy cycle. The first step in change is recognising that you are not happy with an element of your life and then start to look at ways you can seek to improve it. There are so many different reasons people come to councelling. Recognise that there is something in your life that you want to change, and find people to help you.
24:00 How to look for help from a coach or councellor. Be sure of what you are looking for when looking for help. Spend some time researching, understanding what is being offered, and once you have a testimonial from a friend or make a choice, then take time to speak with that person to ensure you both feel that it is the right partnership.
25:10 How do you identify what your perceived potential is. If people have a limit to what they think they can achieve, how do they start to be coached through that? The first thing is to be curious as to why that perception is there, and together to explore where it might have come from and if there is any evidence to support that. Then start to explore questions that open up new possibilities.
26:00 The difference between belief and reality. There often comes a time when long-held beliefs no longer fit reality. E.g. the 4 minute mile was not believed possible, because there was no evidence it was possible. Then along came someone (Roger Banister) who believed they could, and he did. And beliefs changed.
It is a question of working out whether it is a belief or reality. About coming to believe you can go a bit further, so that you can.
Heather's favourite quote: Audrey Hepburn: Nothing is impossible, the word itself breaks down into I'm possible.
28.20 Feeling so much better when going for the daily walk. What is causing that? Research: The Harvard power pose. How a power pose can impact on our confidence. Doing a power pose for just 2 minutes changed the body's procductive of hormones reducing stress and increasing confidence.
30:00 Jonathan fully supports the power pose and the difference you feel when standing in different ways when coping with anxiety, new situations at work.
31:30 Showing up in the manner you want to continue. Dress and get into a posture and therefore a mindset that sets you up to succeed.
33:00 The importance of changing your state. Creating change in a way that is resetting the body, so that it becomes automatic. The Harvard power pose, opening up your chest and getting your Buzz Lightyear on. Lifting shoulders back, breathing in and changing the physiology in your body.
If you are sitting down and are feeling stuck, just by standing up and walking around to change your state and break through it.
Going to the gym during your lunch break as a great coping mechanism for stress in the day.
34:00 We often make things more complicated than they need to be. create a change in a way that is resetting the body to make it automatic
35:00 Something from neuroscience that will surprise you. Our understanding of why we are the way we are and why we do what we do. One of the amazing findings of neuroscience recently is that our idea of the ego (sense of self) developed once babies were born. We now realise that it starts when babies are in their mum's belly.
36:00 There are so many ingredients that go into the bowl of life, that two people born at the same moment can turn out completely differently.
37:00 Heather's mantra: I truly believe that if we truly focus on what is inside us, everything outside us will take care of itself, and what doesn't won't matter. Think about how you invest in yourself and make that investment.
37:45 The sharing section
People Heather admires:
37.55 Person: Dynamo the magician - who came from a background where he was bullied and has been such an inspiration in how he pushed through Crone's disease, and continues to push the boundaries of magic. He has such a grounded, kind way about him.
39:40 Person: Stacey Soloman - won the X-factor, now on Loose Women. She is extremely authentic and presents herself as exactly who she is, is very thoughtful and is so honest for one so young. She is a young mum, and is very accepting of how life has turned out. She always shows up.
41:25 Book - The untethered soul by Michael Singer. He has an incredible way of explaining what the inner voice is and where it comes from. Of understanding that the voice that criticises and knocks you down, isn't your inner voice at all.
42:00 Book - The source by Dr Tara Swartz. The connection between neuroscience and harnessing our full potential.
42:43 Movement - The Sober curious movement. E.g. One year no beer and doing amazing things for reducing the stigma for people who want to reduce or stop drinking. Because they realise that life can be so much more opportunity filled when they chose to drink less, or to drink less.
48:00 One thing I'd like to change in the world - our investment in mental health across the globe. We have Let's talk and other programmes, but we still don't have enough resources or tools to help people when they have taken that first step to saying "i'm suffering and I need help".
I'd like to change it from from mental health awareness to mental health action.
The most important thing you can do to help another person is to be curious. Ask them what they are feeling, actively listen to them and don't put your story in it. Ask them later if they have spoken to their GP, then suggest great organisations like Mind, The Samaritans etc.
Organisation: Mental health first aiders. They train people in organisations how to be there at that first point where people show a sign of trouble.
Getting in touch: Listeners can contact me via Instagram using the St Albans Holistic Therapies account.