This episode focuses on defining and cultivating a positive life. Guest Michelle Flynn and host Sal Jefferies discuss the importance of good habits for happiness and health. They cover several key topics:
Some more notes of key points and the areas to work on are as follows:
Food and Nutrition
Movement
Sleep
Connection
Relaxation
Other Notes
Michelle's BIO
Michelle is a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) Practitioner, Certified International Health Coach, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach with a Gut Health Certification, Experienced Life Coach and Mental Health in Recruitment Ambassador.
Michelle works with individuals and companies to help them understand their health and happiness goals (e.g. healthy diet, weight loss, reducing stress, increasing exercise, better quality of sleep, improved relationships, financial stability and exciting careers).
Contact Michelle and see more her website
Get in touch with Sal
If this episode has caught your attention and you wish to learn more, then please contact me. I offer a free 20 min call where we can discuss a challenge your facing and how I may be able to help you.
Welcome to Mindset, Mood and Movement, a systemic approach to human
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:behavior, performance, and well being.
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:Our psychological, emotional, and
physical health are all connected,
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:and my guests and I endeavor to share
knowledge, strategies, and tools for
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:you to enrich your life and work.
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:Hello and welcome.
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:I am delighted to be joined
by my guest, Michelle Flynn.
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:And Michelle and I are going to be talking
today about what makes a positive life.
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:Michelle, like me, has a multitude
of skill sets, where she comes at
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:human performance and human behavior.
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:And we're going to tuck into those.
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:But if you're wondering how to
have a positive life, and perhaps
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:like me, you might be digging in.
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:what does that mean?
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:What is the, what is the
construct of a positive life?
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:This is for you.
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:So Michelle, welcome to the podcast.
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:Michelle Flynn: Thank
you very much, Niall.
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:Thanks for having
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:Sal: It's great to have you here.
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:Let's perhaps start with the most
important point and define, perhaps
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:for you, and I have my own definition,
but for you, Michelle, what would
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:you define as a positive life?
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:Michelle Flynn: I know it's
a very broad, broad topic.
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:So for everyone, it is
going to be individual.
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:And for me personally, a positive life
is about, Good habits for happiness and
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:health, because for me, ultimately, if
we're not happy or if we're not healthy,
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:then nothing else really matters.
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:And also everything else
is impacted by that.
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:So it's giving a starting point
to bring focus to build habits
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:that can be long term sustainable.
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:Sal: Really nice, beautifully put.
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:My term of a positive life, it's funny
because I have a bit of an existential,
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:mind, so I, I integrate the negative and
the positive together, so I, that's my
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:own definition, but my interpretation
would be that which is something which is
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:always growing, something you can always
move on and learn from, even if there are
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:difficult parts, even if there are times
when it's not easy or the health is not
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:great, but it's always this evolution.
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:That would be my term of a positive
life, that it has this growth and
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:this continuous movement forward.
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:Now, I'm really interested to talk to
you today about a couple of key areas.
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:We cross over on some, but one, I have
a personal understanding, but not a
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:professional, and that's the area of food.
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:Or, we could call it, biochemical
nutrition, we can call it
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:molecular structure that's imbued.
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:There are many names for this domain
and of course it's covered, isn't
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:it, with emotions, it's covered with
a lot of different perspectives.
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:So perhaps you can share a little
bit with us about how food, so your
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:interpretation of food, perhaps how
you work with it, how does that come
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:in, how do you work with that to help
a person have what we're looking at
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:today as a positive and healthy life.
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:Michelle Flynn: It's so key to it and
there are so many different messages out
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:there that we're being told all of the
time that it can be very overwhelming.
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:and sometimes it can feel quite,
like we're put under pressure.
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:There's a lot of, you should do this.
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:And actually, it's about
taking it back to the basics so
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:people understand what food is.
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:because there's a lot of
things that we're eating that
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:ultimately is not actually food.
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:but why food is important to not just the
obvious health benefits of eating sort of
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:good food choices, but the wider aspect
of how it can impact, yes, our physical
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:health, but also our mental health.
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:And often people don't draw the
connection between the brain and the gut.
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:And the more that we
can understand the fact.
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:that our gut really is our second brain,
and in some cases can be even more
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:powerful than our main brain, the more
that we are then able to take control
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:and as you stated about a positive life,
continue to grow in a positive way.
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:Sal: Yeah, that's really nice.
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:It's so interesting, isn't it?
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:When we think about the misunderstandings
and the interpretation, I'm so much
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:on that and the work I do, but when
we got the word food, it has lots of
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:labels, both practical and emotional,
some functional and some dysfunctional.
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:That is really interesting
what you said there.
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:When you were mentioning about
the second brain and the gut and
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:the impact on mental health, it's,
it's starting to become more known.
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:I've had to look into this field for
many years because I have an autoimmune
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:condition and it is a gut based condition.
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:It's multi layered.
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:I'm happy to go into that as some some
depth if it's useful today, but Really
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:understanding that what's happening
in the microbiome, that's all the
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:bacteria of the gut, all the chemical
stuff, which is of course fueled by the
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:food we eat, whether that's whatever
quality or whatever type that is the.
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:in a way the fuel and the,
and the pieces that make it.
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:But it's so interesting, isn't it?
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:When we think about that serotonin, I
think isn't it some of the 80 percent of
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:serotonin production is made in the gum,
even though it's a neurotransmitter, which
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:is connected to fulfillment and happiness.
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:So we need to understand this relationship
to food on a, I think a practical level.
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:But how about getting to the basics?
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:So someone's listening now and might be,
let's say they're not so clued up on it
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:and they just want to learn some more.
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:Where's our start point?
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:Where do you take us through with
food and say, here's number one.
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:This is what we're going to start to do.
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:Would you take us through your steps?
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:That'd be really helpful.
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:Michelle Flynn: Yeah, I think for
me, the key thing is to take away
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:the overwhelm, to make it simple to
understand and for people to have some
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:key, I don't like the word rules, but
we'll say rules that they stick by
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:when they are out shopping or cooking
or making food choices when they're
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:out busy at work or out for dinner.
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:So for me, it's about that real
understanding between what is actually
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:real food and what is ultimately junk.
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:And we add the word junk next to food,
but fundamentally, it's not really food.
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:It's highly processed, full of
chemicals and lots of other things
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:that are not good for the gut.
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:So by explaining what real food.
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:actually is, which is whole food, real
food that we would cook with ingredients
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:that we would recognize a carrot, an
onion, an apple, a chicken breast.
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:It's, it doesn't just have
to be fruit and vegetables.
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:We have the whole
spectrum, across real food.
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:The difference between, for example,
a chicken breast and a chicken nugget
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:or an apple or a slice of apple pie.
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:Understanding the, the difference so
that someone is empowered to make the
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:real change themselves because they
understand what they're looking for
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:when they're making their shopping list
or in the supermarket, understanding
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:what labels really mean so that
they can make those smarter choices.
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:Sal: Yeah, I love that.
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:It's so interesting, isn't it?
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:We can go into a store and
most stores are built around
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:psychological impacts, by the way.
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:So there's, this might be a bit of a deal
breaker for you, but some stores are laid
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:out in a way that has fruit and veg first.
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:And there's some science that would
suggest that if we buy the fruit and
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:veg first, when we go to the middle
of the shop with all the package goods
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:are, we are more likely to buy those
because we feel good about ourselves
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:because we've done a Healthy Purchase.
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:So be mindful shopping that these
things are skewed against us.
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:The modern world is actually
skewed against us, isn't it?
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:We go into stores, there's a ready meal.
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:There's, boxes of stuff, there's packages.
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:And really they're just chemistry sets.
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:That's the way I look at them.
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:They're sets of chemistry.
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:They're put together in a chemical
way as a lot of fast food joints are.
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:not to name some big names, but they
are chemistry, chemically made products.
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:They are not food products.
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:I think what you're saying is
so powerful to really get the
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:distinction between, is this a food?
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:This is a food group, like a vegetable,
a piece of meat, a fish, whatever
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:the food group, or is it part of a
process that's got the word in it?
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:And that's such a nice delineation to
think about as we, as we go forwards.
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:Now I've looked into food.
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:I mostly eat a plant based diet myself.
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:I say mostly because I'm not rigid.
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:Most of the time it's a
plant based whole food diet.
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:Occasionally I'll deviate and I'm
all right with that because I have
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:a sort of an overarching thing.
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:But for someone who is struggling
on perhaps they just don't like
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:cooking, they just chuck a meal in
the microwave, that kind of vibe.
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:How do you help that person get
from that mindset and behavior?
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:To looking at the whole foods thinking
about how they might cook something
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:that's nutritious and good and going
from that Let's say the quick and easy
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:route to a more considered healthy route.
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:Michelle Flynn: Yes, and it is difficult
because we are all really busy and
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:convenience food is called that for a
reason because it is very convenient and
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:if we look at what has gone on over the
last few decades with the introduction
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:of the microwave and the ready meal and
delivery services, it has become really
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:convenient to eat unhealthily and it
is less convenient To, as you said,
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:spend the time cooking a healthy meal.
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:So when I first start working with
someone, it's understanding why they
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:actually want to make the change in
the first place, because I can give
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:someone all of the information, but
if ultimately they don't want to make
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:the change, they don't have a strong
enough reason to make the change, then.
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:They're probably not going to make it,
or maybe I need to support them to work.
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:As you mentioned earlier about
it, emotions work with them as to
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:what it is that stopping them want
to make those positive changes.
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:So that's got to be the key thing is that.
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:If someone comes to me and wants to
make a change, but really they're just
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:not ready, then, it's probably not the
right time for us to be focusing our
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:attention on that particular change.
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:Maybe we need to delve a bit
deeper, using tools like cognitive
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:behavioral therapy to understand.
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:What they're thinking, because ultimately
your thoughts create the feeling
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:and the feeling creates the action.
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:So if you're negative thinking,
you're not going to feel great
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:and you're probably not going to
want to eat a sort of eat a salad.
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:it's using different tools to get
the person in the right position so
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:that they feel, back in control and
ready to make the changes they need.
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:Sal: we're sitting here thinking right?
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:Okay.
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:I want to make some changes I
as we were similar in this way.
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:I would look at a client I might help
them with their own choices But food I'll
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:hand over to another professional like
you or I'll get them my clients to focus
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:on themselves I think of James Clear's
work, The Habit Specialist, and it's a
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:really nice piece of work he did, he took
it on from Charles Duhigg's work, but
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:he came up with a, a powerful statement,
and I think it's valid in psychology,
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:which is find a compelling reason.
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:If you don't have a compelling reason,
you are not going to get up at 6am
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:and go to the gym when it's dark.
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:You're not going to put down the ready
meal and think, I'll, I'll, I'll, Get
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:a recipe and I'll cook for half an
hour and I'll make some great food.
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:You're just not going to go there
unless the reason doesn't have enough
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:compulsion enough energy and emotion in
it And what I find really interesting
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:is that our brain and most of us
don't know this But our brain is
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:wired for two two kind of key things.
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:Number one is safety The whole brain
system, every piece of structure
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:is hardwired for us to stay safe.
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:The other one is about managing
energy and energy efficiency.
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:So we will always take the easiest route.
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:That's how we're clever.
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:That's how humans have
dominated the earth.
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:That's also why we have weight gain
because we're very good at storing energy.
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:we're very good at efficient systems.
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:The problem we have is that the
modern world, and it seems the
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:modern nutrition system goes
absolutely against our human system.
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:So we have to consciously change that.
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:That's what I see and that's what I've
had to do with my own nutritional choices.
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:What are you seeing as a really great
step that you might get someone who
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:wants to find that compelling reason?
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:how might you say, okay,
let's let's go there.
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:What would you do with them?
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:Michelle Flynn: It is interesting
because often if someone's coming
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:to me wanting to change food, it
might be related to weight loss.
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:and a wedding or a holiday is a very good
motivator for helping us keep on track.
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:And diets are great for a
very short period of time, but
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:they do not work long term.
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:they're great for that wedding
day or getting into that
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:outfit for the Christmas party.
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:But it's about the longer term
habits, as you mentioned, James Clear
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:and, understanding that reason why.
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:So it would be through questioning.
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:If, if the answer is, I just
want to fit into my clothes and
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:them to be more comfortable,
there's an easier solution then.
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:changing how you eat and going to
the gym, which is actually just
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:buying the next size up of clothes.
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:And I've been down that route.
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:I have gone through those phases where
I'm determined I will not go up the
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:next size and then, oh, okay, I'm here.
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:so it's really understanding more about
that person, what their motivators
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:are, why they've come to me in the
first place, because they may think
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:that it's weight loss, but actually.
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:Through conversation and understanding
them better, you realize that
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:potentially they're having difficulties
at work or they're struggling in
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:their relationship or as a parent.
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:so by understanding more about their
life, which often starts with the
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:question, just tell me about yourself.
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:And people are often not given that time
and space to just talk about themselves.
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:So they then start to.
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:And I start to question and,
we get to the, the important
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:stuff of what really matters.
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:and often when it is about food, it may
be looking at, a health concern either
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:for themselves or a family member.
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:It may be that they have
become new parents and.
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:They're now, have a new priority of
sort of a child to look after and
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:they want to be able to make sure that
they are fit and healthy to do that.
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:So it's definitely, everyone is different.
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:So it's about really giving someone that
space to reflect on their lives and dig
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:deeper into what actually really matters.
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:Sal: Yeah.
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:Such a great question is that the
hierarchy, the hierarchal structures of
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:the brain and the hierarchal structures
of our beha beliefs and behaviors
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:are, are that I've got clients who are
so driven, they work really, really
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:hard and they're often founders, or
they might be freelancers, they're,
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:you're really pushing hard and that.
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:That goes up the chain of hierarchy.
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:That's more important than their health.
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:And it's amazing the amount of
people, particularly midlifers.
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:And I'm like, okay, so yeah, you're
going to grow a successful business.
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:Amazing.
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:I'll support you on that journey.
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:I'll do all the mindset
performance work with you.
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:But what happens in 10...
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:or 20 years when you can't function
because you failed to look after your
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:body because you were too busy, right?
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:You're working all the time.
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:You're like, Oh, it doesn't matter.
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:My business is more important.
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:And I say to every one of my
founders, okay, you are the business.
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:If you lose your health,
you lose everything you do.
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:And I, it's an.
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:It's the sacrosanct fact and any of us
who've had a health condition, I have a
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:chronic condition, which comes and goes
and generally I'm in good shape because
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:of all the practices that I do, but it
can come and catch, catch me sometimes.
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:I have a flare, what we call in, this,
this condition, a flare up, and then
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:you have to be really with your body.
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:And for me, I feel a bit more gentle.
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:I have to change my nutrition a bit.
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:And it's so revealing when you
have health taken away from you.
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:And it's so powerful, like
I've got to get it back.
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:I've got to feel good.
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:And what I worry about is when
we get it back, we're like, Oh,
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:let's just go back to what we know.
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:So status quo bias, use
a bit of psychology here.
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:My, my work and what I love to get you
to think of, let's think, how can we
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:shake that wonderful mind of a person we
might be working with about status quo
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:bias and how we might come out of it?
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:Michelle Flynn: Yeah.
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:And I think it's interesting
talking about you don't realize
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:what you've got until it's gone is
that that is what happened to me.
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:That's why I retrained as a coach
was that I was a very successful
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:recruitment business owner.
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:And one morning I woke up and had a
severe pain in the left side of my
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:chest, which felt like a heart attack.
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:And it is very interesting.
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:Thing that you say about, we
have a health scare and then
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:we forget that that happened.
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:'cause that's exactly what happened to me.
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:I was rushed to hospital.
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:Fortunately it wasn't a heart attack,
so I decided to ignore the fact that I'd
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:collapsed and been taken to hospital and
for three years ignored that I was tired.
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:I was gaining weight, I had digestive
problems, I had memory problems.
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:I was getting sick a lot.
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:It, I was ticking all the boxes, for
someone that really needed to stop and pay
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:attention and it wasn't until I collapsed
for a second time that I did that.
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:So I completely agree with you that
often we have to have gone through
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:our own journey to realize that we
really need to make a difference.
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:And that's when people are then either
speaking to a doctor or a nutritionist
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:or a health coach or a therapist, whoever
is the right person to support them.
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:Sal: Yeah.
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:so important.
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:And I'm sorry to hear that's happened,
but I guess the difference When we have
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:a crisis, and I say this a lot, I love
etymology, I like to know where things
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:come from, and the word crisis comes from
Greek, krisis, which means to decide.
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:So we have to be very careful,
we use words incorrectly a lot.
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:It doesn't mean catastrophe,
it means decide.
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:So if you have a health
crisis, it's a decision point.
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:It's such a key one that if you are
clear in your mind enough, And you
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:can get your hierarchical priorities
a little clearer, I need to be well, I
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:need to function as though I might have
a business, or a family, or a partner.
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:That has to come first, and you
need to recalibrate your life,
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:and recalibrate your thinking.
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:Because thinking is a habit.
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:The human brain works on habit
structures, it works on repetition.
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:It's a very elegant system, right
up to the point that pattern, or
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:habit, starts to become redundant.
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:Such as, overwork, overstress, eat badly.
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:Yeah, it might be sustainable for
five years in your twenties, get
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:to your thirties, you're going to
have issues in forties, you're going
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:to have a whole host of problems.
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:So yes, it does need that
waking up, doesn't it?
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:And I too have met those
points and I forget as well.
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:So I forget when I'm really bulletproof
healthy, I'm like, yeah, I'm super mad.
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:I can do anything.
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:And I might have a little issue.
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:I'm like, Oh no, no, no, no, no, no.
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:I'm actually a vulnerable human being.
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:Need to remember that and be
kind to yourself and do the,
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:do the appropriate things.
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:Now I'd love to.
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:Kind of segue this a little more into some
spaces, which I know we both straddle,
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:but that's the space of movement because
if we are eating right, nutritious
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:whole food, food that's made from a
plant, not in a plant, as someone used
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:to say, and our biochemistry is working
well in the body, but we're not moving.
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:It is a, it's a fundamental
piece of the pie, isn't it?
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:We need to do.
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:So what are your thoughts on
movement and how do you treat
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:the movement part of your work?
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:Michelle Flynn: I absolutely agree.
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:It's been one of the
biggest changes to my life.
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:I was very sedentary in my sales career.
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:a lot of times sat at a desk and, I
didn't think about movement at all.
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:And, I try it, you go to the gym
for a bit and then the novelty would
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:wear off until it was that point of.
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:Realization that a, I need to start
doing some, which probably was initially
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:related to weight and what I look like,
but very much is no longer about that.
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:It's about exactly, as you said, the
importance of it again, same with
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:food, physical health, but also our
mental health, one of the best ways.
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:For someone to clear their head is to
do whatever movement works for them.
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:And when I'm working with people,
for me, it's about them exercise.
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:I prefer the word hobby.
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:Let's find something that you
really enjoy, preferably doing
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:with people that you really even
better if you're doing it outside.
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:That it becomes a regular thing
that isn't a chore in the diary.
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:And for some people that is the gym.
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:They love going to the gym.
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:Brilliant.
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:For other people, that's
definitely not right for them.
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:And they want to run out on the trails.
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:So it's about finding what that is.
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:And if people aren't sure, I'll often
go back to childhood and say, what
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:did you used to do for fun as a kid?
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:And they'd say, Oh, I
love to ride my bike.
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:I had a skateboard.
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:I used to, Oh, I loved
horse riding, trampolining.
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:Okay.
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:Why can't you do that as an adult?
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:Opening up the fact that it doesn't
have to just be about the gym.
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:There are many more options for this.
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:Sal: I love that.
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:It's such a great one.
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:And I was thinking, I, if you, if you
ask me, I'd be like, I love to cycle.
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:I used to love being on my bike as a kid.
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:And as an adult now,
I'm, over half a century.
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:I've been on the planet a long time.
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:I still love to cycle.
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:Obviously I'm careful on the
roads, but being on my bike
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:is a very freeing experience.
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:So it's so interesting that we
dial back into that playfulness.
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:And I wanted to speak to that.
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:exercise is a word, again, terminology,
interpretation, exercise is often seen as
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:a dirty word, a word that's Oh, it's hard.
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:You've quote, got to do it.
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:And I'm like, okay, where
do we get this idea from?
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:This is just nonsense.
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:Because most people I know work
really, really hard, like really hard.
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:Parents work really hard.
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:So it's not that you're
not good at hard work.
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:Most people work way harder in their
real life than they would at a gym.
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:they graft.
401
:So I don't buy it for a second
that people say it's hard work.
402
:It's different work.
403
:It might be physical work, but one of
the things I find is we can attach joy
404
:to it and that playfulness, like you've
alluded to, it's a really magical quality.
405
:I would say, so I'm going
to tell a short story here.
406
:In my mid forties, I decided
I needed to move a lot more.
407
:I'd been teaching yoga for a long time.
408
:And that's a, it's a good discipline,
but it doesn't cover all what we need
409
:to cover in terms of movement and
exercise and strength and cardiovascular.
410
:So I got involved in CrossFit
and I was absolutely humiliated.
411
:I was pretty rubbish and
I thought I'd be good.
412
:I was up against these athletes
and a lot of female athletes
413
:and they were so strong.
414
:My ego was, thankfully I was able to
check my ego that was wanting to feel
415
:the shame of being a weak man run out
the door and I could stay with it.
416
:And thank goodness I did, because actually
what I've learned is that sometimes to
417
:change who you are, your behaviours,
you have to change your identity.
418
:And that takes a while.
419
:Going to the gym once, or yoga class,
and you might say, I don't like it.
420
:Of course you don't like it.
421
:It's brand new.
422
:But if you go for three months...
423
:and start to build that in, find
some of the joy, some of the
424
:payoff, and all that good feeling.
425
:That's what it's really about, and I, I do
worry that we get the, get the idea wrong.
426
:So many of my female clients
say, Oh, I want to lose weight.
427
:I say, Why?
428
:People carrying you around?
429
:seriously, what does
that actually even mean?
430
:And we've got to challenge that.
431
:Yes, you might want better body
composition, but I have found, with
432
:my work, with my client's work,
and blending into the kind of the
433
:athlete side of things, how you feel.
434
:is everything.
435
:You said it at the top of
our show, healthy and happy.
436
:And if you feel good, you feel
strong, you feel confident.
437
:Those are all of those pieces
that make our positive life.
438
:And that's a very powerful
thing that comes from physical
439
:movement, all varying times.
440
:So I'm a, I do push it as a strong
point that we have to give it, I think
441
:a bit more time, but I love the fact
that you said there, find that joy.
442
:Cause that's the first link.
443
:and then that's I think
when it starts to grow.
444
:Michelle Flynn: Absolutely.
445
:And I've, I try lots of new things
when I'm coaching clients or when
446
:I'm doing a talk to a group of people
and we're talking about movement
447
:and I'm like, tell me what you do.
448
:And partly I want to know what they
do, but actually it's me wanting
449
:to know, give me some more ideas.
450
:And someone said paddle tennis.
451
:I'm like, Oh, what's that?
452
:I'm going to go and look
up paddle tennis or boxing.
453
:Okay, where do you do that?
454
:Let me give that a try.
455
:And of course, I'm not going to
like all of it and I'm not going
456
:to be good at all of it, but we
have got so many different options.
457
:And one thing that COVID was really
good for was people just getting back
458
:to walking and enjoying being outdoors.
459
:And lots of people bought dogs and
continue to do all the dog walking.
460
:And that's just brilliant because.
461
:Just start somewhere is the most
important thing and if that is dancing
462
:around your kitchen, having a kitchen
disco with your teenagers or dancing to
463
:Peppa Pig with your toddler, it doesn't
matter, it's all movement because the
464
:people that live the longest in the
blue zones They're the five parts of
465
:the world where people live the longest.
466
:They're not at the gym.
467
:They're, they're walking,
they're getting on a bike.
468
:They're, they're just moving in every
day, which we've just stopped doing.
469
:And now we're having to
find the time to exercise.
470
:Just bring it back into what your life is.
471
:Sal: Yeah, that's such a good point.
472
:The blue zones are really
interesting, aren't they?
473
:and you're, you're right.
474
:If you look at Blue Zones, they don't
have gyms and stuff, but I think a
475
:Sardinia suddenly they're quite hilly
and I've seen some of the footage of
476
:there and there are these older people,
often centenarians, they carry bags
477
:of shopping up a pretty steep hill.
478
:Right?
479
:That's a functional movement.
480
:And if we are doing functional
movements, day in day out because
481
:zone two, which is brisk walking zone
five, which is going up the hill hard.
482
:Carrying stuff, lifting stuff, your
body will adapt and your body will adapt
483
:if you sit on a soft sofa, our modern
life, I think this is an important
484
:point, which I've learned more and
more over the recent years, that our
485
:modern life has so many privileges, we
can, we're on a call now in different
486
:places, using all this technology, it's
amazing, it's so good and as a listener,
487
:you can get knowledge from people you
might never be able to spend time with.
488
:But we might be in a chair for too long
all day, and we might sit then after
489
:work and watch TV, something like that.
490
:We have to choose to counter that,
and we have to remember that the
491
:brain, literally the brain, and
the body is an adaptive system, and
492
:it will adapt to any conditions.
493
:So whatever environment we are in,
whether it's an office with chairs,
494
:or whether it's a walking meeting
that you're having with your, with
495
:your colleagues, your body will adapt.
496
:And there was there's so
much data now about walking.
497
:I, I'm a big walker, I have
dogs, and it's the first one.
498
:Everyone can walk, right?
499
:Unless you have a disability,
of course, but if you don't
500
:have a disability, you can walk.
501
:It's just a go to.
502
:There are pressure sensors in our feet.
503
:They calibrate with the heart.
504
:They also do with, it's to do with motion.
505
:So when we travel forwards, our
eyes are tracking left and right all
506
:the time, tracking left and right.
507
:We don't see it tracking.
508
:It's one way of processing
difficult flight state responses
509
:or even trauma responses.
510
:So the forward movement of walking and
running is even better, really helps
511
:process difficult stuff that's going
on in our brain and our, in our sort
512
:of neurochemistry, all that stuff.
513
:So when we talk about exercise, we want
to move away from, I think the weight
514
:gain and start to think about this
positive, healthy, highly functioning
515
:system so we feel, and perform well.
516
:Michelle Flynn: But also I think that
you can introduce it into your work.
517
:So if you are a team leader, don't
do your one to ones, either on the
518
:screen or sat in the office together.
519
:Go out, go for a walk.
520
:I do all of my coaching,
weather depending obviously.
521
:Either in person walking, often
along Brighton seafront, or if it's
522
:that we're having a conversation on
the phone, as I did this morning,
523
:the lady was out for a walk.
524
:I don't want to sit and stare at
my screen for eight hours a day.
525
:No one does, and it's not good for us.
526
:So start to implement it.
527
:If you are working at home.
528
:Can you stand up?
529
:Can you move around?
530
:I know one gentleman, he gets 15, 000
steps in a day without even leaving
531
:his home because he takes his calls and
he's standing up and he's moving around.
532
:trying to find ways to fit it in.
533
:But also, as you're saying, if you're
having a difficult conversation.
534
:Whether this is with a friend, a family
member, or someone you work with,
535
:then often being side by side and not
staring at each other is a much more
536
:positive way to have that conversation
and get to, we'll bring it again
537
:back to the positive outcome of it.
538
:Sal: Yeah, absolutely.
539
:There's so many benefits.
540
:In fact, there's so many benefits we do
not have time to talk about this now.
541
:But it's really just,
okay, do your research.
542
:There's loads out there.
543
:There's some amazing books.
544
:But there is the
fundamentals that if we move.
545
:I think my equation's like
this, what I share to people.
546
:If we know we're an adaptive system from
the brain and the body, and we adapt
547
:to the conditions we are in, Choose the
conditions, which might look like I'll
548
:do a walk and talk, a walk in meeting,
as you've alluded to, or I will go to
549
:a running club and start, catch 5k,
whatever it is, but those conditions
550
:will change how my body and my brain
and everything responds and there's
551
:so much connected to, so movement.
552
:A lot of it's working with the cerebellum,
the small bit of the back of the brain,
553
:but there's found to be pathways connected
to the frontal lobe, which is all
554
:about executive decisions and function.
555
:If you want to perform well, you want
your brain sharp and you certainly want
556
:your brain sharp to stave off things
like cognitive decline as you age.
557
:Movement is a fundamental piece.
558
:It's like a non negotiable piece of
brain health and cognitive health.
559
:So when we think about
our positive life...
560
:Movement is a non negotiable for me.
561
:How you do it is negotiable.
562
:And how you build it up,
I think needs long term.
563
:And I say this to many of my
clients, forget 12 weeks, just,
564
:just get so over that idea.
565
:Go for 12 years.
566
:And people are like, what?
567
:And I do say, you are going
to be here in 12 years, right?
568
:How do you want to be in 12 years?
569
:And most people tell me they want to
be even, stronger, I don't know, better
570
:performing, physically well in 12 years.
571
:the trajectory you want starts today.
572
:And it's far better to start with
that long term vision because it's so
573
:sustainable because it's so long even if
you fall off track a bit you come back
574
:on and I find it's a very powerful way.
575
:I wanted to sweep now into another area
that you said that you specialize in
576
:it's sleep and my goodness you know we're
going now the other way the pieces that
577
:pull this together perhaps you could say
a little more around how you what you do
578
:with sleep and you work with sleep in your
clients tell could you say more about that
579
:Michelle Flynn: I love sleep.
580
:That's right.
581
:It is literally the first place that
I start with people, because if you
582
:are not sleeping properly, you will
not make the right food choices.
583
:You will not want to move your body.
584
:You will not.
585
:Not have a good day at work.
586
:So explaining firstly, the
importance of sleep, and it's not
587
:just about curing tiredness, it is
connected to pretty much everything.
588
:So if you want to be happy and
healthy, you need to be sleeping.
589
:And then looking at the things that
are impacting that, and there are
590
:four key things that we need to focus
on is, are we getting enough sleep?
591
:Are we sleeping in a
regular sleep pattern?
592
:Because our bodies like routine.
593
:Do we have good quality of sleep?
594
:So are we getting that
precious deep sleep?
595
:And are we sleeping
consistently through the night?
596
:So when I'm working with people, I
look at where maybe the issues are.
597
:They might be getting the lovely
eight hours, but they still
598
:wake up tired, which is probably
they're not getting the deep sleep.
599
:Or they might have no
problem falling asleep.
600
:But they might wake up at that
danger, danger zone, as I refer
601
:to at four o'clock in the morning
and they can't get back to sleep.
602
:So we, it's like being a detective.
603
:What's the problem and
then how do we solve it?
604
:And there are some obvious
things that people are aware of.
605
:Caffeine obviously impacts
sleep, but so does alcohol.
606
:So does when we.
607
:So does the darkness of our
bedroom, how stressed we are.
608
:So giving people the tools to be able
to adjust the choices that they're
609
:making or for them to understand the
power of breathwork for sleep, which
610
:sleep and breathwork are the things
that I just, are the superpowers.
611
:but people are not taught this
and the more that I learn, the
612
:more that I just can't believe.
613
:Why we are not teaching these basics
to, to everybody because we're giving
614
:people the tools to be back in control.
615
:And that starts with getting a
good night's sleep because we
616
:all feel better when we wake up
and we know we're fully rested.
617
:Sal: Yeah, totally agreed.
618
:And it's so interesting.
619
:I have to always catch myself and I
certainly speak to it to people I'm
620
:working with today started yesterday.
621
:So if you want to be performing well
today or having really good quality
622
:time with your partner or playing with
your Children or whatever it is, That
623
:experience, or the experience of today,
started yesterday, and that looks like how
624
:you were breathing, how you were eating,
what your stress levels were like, to
625
:how much tech you were using, etc, etc,
right up to sleep, and then if that was
626
:disrupted, and I know, because I have,
sadly, I have a lot of disrupted sleep,
627
:I have a dog who's not well now, and he
gets very spooked, and he'll just wake me,
628
:and I'm a very light sleeper, so I have
to do a lot of work to try and get it in,
629
:and it doesn't always work for me, it's,
it's, it's one of my challenged areas, for
630
:sure, and I, I probably get the disruptive
sleep, so I'm, I've got the quality, 10
631
:o'clock every night or earlier, I'm Mr.
632
:Early.
633
:I get the rhythm.
634
:It's all there, but the disruption
is one to work on and it's not easy.
635
:I, I'm like Michelle,
we're, we're human beings.
636
:We, it's not, this isn't
oh, it's all easy for us.
637
:This is, this is work, to, to eat
well, to move well, to sleep well.
638
:And it needs constant
tinkering, doesn't it?
639
:So what would you say?
640
:I'm going to put myself on the spot here.
641
:I'm going to say, Hey, I'm, I'm
struggling with my consistency.
642
:I've told you about being
woken up with the dog.
643
:What would you, what might
you say would be some good
644
:strategies that I can think about?
645
:Michelle Flynn: Okay.
646
:So the first thing would be understanding
what time you are waking up at.
647
:So is it the danger zone of four
o'clock in the morning or is it before
648
:Sal: Sometimes form.
649
:Okay.
650
:Michelle Flynn: Okay, so the
reason that people tend to wake up
651
:around that time is that the brain
is highly active at that time.
652
:We're filing our memories from the day.
653
:So I describe our brain like
millions of little light bulbs, and
654
:we want them off to get good sleep.
655
:And often at four o'clock in the morning,
it's like someone's turned the dimmer
656
:switch on and The brain is more active.
657
:So if you are stressed through work or
anxious about what's happening the next
658
:day, you're much more likely to wake up at
that point because your brain is already
659
:active in your situation, having a dog
that's not very well, that's ultimately
660
:something that you can't control.
661
:And, you want to make sure that
if your dog needs you, that.
662
:Obviously you're going to be
there for them, but looking at
663
:the things that you can control.
664
:One of the things to help people
sleep the whole way through the
665
:night is getting into a deeper
sleep at the beginning of the night.
666
:So when someone is preparing, they've done
their teeth, they've got into bed, they've
667
:put the phone away and they're now right.
668
:Now it's time to sleep is to do some nice
breathing patterns, and there are lots of
669
:different breathing patterns out there.
670
:Box breathing is the one that I generally
start with when we're talking about
671
:sleep, which is breathing in for a
count of four, holding your breath
672
:in for a count of four, out for a
count of four, holding it out for a
673
:count of four, All through the nose.
674
:Nasal breathing is key and if someone
is breathing through their mouth
675
:when they're sleeping, then that
creates a whole different array of
676
:challenges, which again can be solved.
677
:So by doing the breathing exercises
whilst you're going to sleep,
678
:you're going to drop into a deeper
state of sleep more quickly.
679
:So therefore when you come up
into those lighter phases, which
680
:you will, that's how sleep works.
681
:We range throughout the night
through different cycles.
682
:But because you start at a deeper
point, you're less likely to then
683
:wake up in those lighter phases.
684
:So that would be certainly somewhere
that, to be honest, getting people to
685
:breathe properly with sleep, whether
someone is a good sleeper or not, is
686
:always a great way to sleep because.
687
:Stress is often the thing that is
stopping us getting a good sleep
688
:because of highly active brain, but
also what it does to our nervous system.
689
:So doing those breathing patterns
would be a starting point.
690
:as well as you're obviously already
looking at probably the obvious things.
691
:Is your room cool enough?
692
:Is it dark enough?
693
:Is it quiet enough?
694
:And people can spend a lot
of money on sleep technology.
695
:There's amazing devices now
where the do, The mattress
696
:topper will change temperature
as your body temperature changes.
697
:And for women going through menopause,
our body temperatures are changing.
698
:So there's a lot of devices
out there, but they don't come
699
:cheaply, but breath work is free.
700
:I would definitely start
701
:with that.
702
:Sal: yeah, absolutely.
703
:I believe you.
704
:So I train with Patrick McKeown, I
think you and partner have, yeah, okay.
705
:and Patrick McKeown, for those of you who
don't know, does the Oxygen Advantage.
706
:And Patrick's work is
based on, Pateko system.
707
:really interesting work.
708
:And Patrick suggests
that we tape our mouths.
709
:mouth taping is something I've...
710
:done.
711
:And I do it on and off.
712
:It's curious.
713
:I go for periods where I take for a while
and then I don't need it for a while.
714
:It's really interesting, isn't it, that
if we're mouth breathing all night,
715
:which is predicated towards more of a
sympathetic nervous system response,
716
:like a higher stimulated response, but
we may not know because we're asleep.
717
:So taping the mouth is a good one.
718
:Now, for anyone who's horrified by
the idea, it can sound a bit weird.
719
:So you can go on Patrick's
website, have a look, Google it.
720
:We can put some links on the show notes.
721
:It is one strategy that does work quite
well for people and it has worked for
722
:me when I've used it and when I feel I
need to use it, I think it's interesting.
723
:So I know Patrick, when I did some
training with him, he said, if
724
:you're dysregulated in your breathing
through the day, that's also going
725
:to go all the way into the night.
726
:So not just before bed, which is
why practically like both of us,
727
:of course, we'll always say, let's
check in with, how do you breathe?
728
:All, all the time.
729
:So there's strategies and practice,
but it's a bit like going to
730
:the gym, isn't it, Michelle?
731
:You can go and do weights or run once
a week, but if you're sitting for
732
:12 hours a day, it won't negate him.
733
:And the same with if you have
dysfunctional breathing all day
734
:and you do a small practice,
it's probably not quite enough.
735
:So looking at breath work.
736
:In general, nasal breathing in general,
diaphragm breathing throughout the day,
737
:regulated breathing is such a powerful
strategy that so many of us overlook,
738
:but I know I push it all the time
because it works and it's powerful.
739
:Michelle Flynn: Yes.
740
:And with that, if people are unsure,
because as you said, you're asleep,
741
:you don't know what you're doing.
742
:My question is, do you snore?
743
:Do you wake up with a dry mouth?
744
:And lots of people do.
745
:And as soon as you put that connection,
they realize, Oh, okay, I am mouth
746
:breathing and during the day, people
who are in jobs that involve a lot of
747
:talking, so salespeople, whether that's
company CEOs delivering their messages,
748
:whether that's teachers, customer service.
749
:When they're talking all
day, they're mouth breathing.
750
:So again, this is giving people the
awareness that if you're breathing
751
:through your mouth, you are
activating your stress nervous system.
752
:So therefore you are going
to be more stressed, which is
753
:then going to be connected to
sleep and other aspects of your
754
:Sal: Yeah.
755
:Such, such important points.
756
:So hopefully as we're thinking
about our, our constituent pieces
757
:of a positive life, we've got all
of these pieces coming together.
758
:It's a tapestry, isn't it?
759
:It's this kind of collage and tapestry
that sometimes needs a bit of more
760
:in one area, a bit more in the other,
but there is no, In my experience,
761
:there's no way that one should negate
all of, one in total, like I'll forget
762
:about breathing because I do lots
of exercise or I do lots of breath
763
:work so I don't need to eat well.
764
:It's no, no, no, no, no, the
human system is multilayered and
765
:it needs a multiple approach.
766
:And of course, this is my, my, my
passion for the podcast is to share
767
:it like our multiple practitioning
approaches we've got here.
768
:That when we think and connect this
way, we start to move away from
769
:what sadly is a cultural label.
770
:belief that things work in isolation.
771
:You go see the breathing
person for the breath issue.
772
:And you go see the sleep person.
773
:It's like, why?
774
:Humans are systems.
775
:We are systems.
776
:It's just basic fact.
777
:And if we don't treat things as
systems, they don't work that well.
778
:So if we start to see how they're
interacting with each other, we get
779
:a much better, better connection.
780
:And talking of connection, I know
that's something that you speak
781
:of quite a lot in your work.
782
:It's certainly about how to have
a positive and healthy life.
783
:What's, what's your
definition of connection?
784
:Michelle Flynn: It's not about connecting
with people that you love, which is, I
785
:think, where I was going to go first,
but actually connecting with people
786
:that you have shared values with.
787
:So whether that is through sports,
maybe you play football and you get
788
:on well with your teammates, whether
this is going to a book club, whether
789
:it's your yoga class, whether this is.
790
:That your work, your workmates.
791
:And one of the hard things now about more
people working at home is less connection.
792
:And we all felt it during COVID when
suddenly we weren't able to spend time
793
:with the people that we enjoy, their
company and doing the things that we
794
:love, how much that had an impact on us.
795
:So it is.
796
:So key, loneliness is one of the
biggest causes of depression and
797
:more and more people are feeling
it in my coaching sessions.
798
:Regularly, people are telling me I have no
one to talk to and even I have no friends.
799
:They might be new to an area.
800
:I moved to a new area 18 months ago.
801
:I didn't know anybody.
802
:I was thinking this is
not going to be good.
803
:I'm a very sociable person.
804
:I get my energy from being around people.
805
:So I knew I had.
806
:To do something about that
and take responsibility myself
807
:for making those changes.
808
:'cause I don't have children, so I don't
have the school gates to meet people.
809
:I do not think we can
underestimate the importance of it.
810
:And there's even suggestions that.
811
:It can have as much of an impact
on your health as smoking.
812
:And, particularly I think with
men where they don't necessarily
813
:talk, they might go to the pub,
they might talk about football.
814
:I experienced that the other night at a
dinner party where about half past nine,
815
:the talk went to Brighton and Hove Albion.
816
:Absolutely great.
817
:It was giving men a.
818
:a conversation to share with
each other, which was lovely.
819
:But maybe women are talking more
about how they're actually feeling.
820
:So I just actively encourage
people to find your people.
821
:And that just one person, it
doesn't have to be hundreds.
822
:There's only so many really good close
relationships that we can actually invest
823
:time in, but don't underestimate it.
824
:And if you're listening to
this and you're feeling lonely.
825
:Look at what's out there.
826
:Eventbrite is a great place to go and
connect with people over shared interests.
827
:There's a group called Run Talk
Run, which is, a group that I
828
:joined when I first moved to
Brighton and I didn't know anybody.
829
:And it's, it's not really a running group.
830
:We do run, but it's very slow.
831
:it's.
832
:It's basically about breakfast at the end,
but I made some great friends, people I
833
:would never have got to meet through that.
834
:use what is out there to go and connect,
particularly if you are working at home
835
:on your own, because we're not getting so
much connection as we would through work.
836
:so we have to be finding
those ways outside of that.
837
:Sal: Thank you.
838
:Yeah, that's just such as
such so many important points.
839
:I had some other guests recently, Leanne
Weaver, who was on a recent podcast.
840
:So guys, if you listen, you
can search for Leanne's.
841
:It's about the importance of
connection in the workplace.
842
:And Leanne has spent a lot of time in
the world, like many of us and seeing
843
:human connection, seeing the change
from the pandemic, the negatives and
844
:the positive and a connection being
absolutely fundamental in the workplace.
845
:And, another guest, April
Baker, who runs, Together Co,
846
:which is a loneliness charity.
847
:There's a Episode out about
now or around this episode.
848
:and it's all about loneliness and
she speaks about social health.
849
:so important and, and most of us
know, we don't need psychologists
850
:to tell us this, but when we haven't
got any mates, it's horrible.
851
:And it really is.
852
:And I remember that at school.
853
:If, when I've changed schools
as an adult, I've changed many
854
:different places I've lived.
855
:It is tough.
856
:I think it's harder as an
adult to make new friends than
857
:it is as a younger person.
858
:That's my personal experience, but
there are ways to do this, and I
859
:think we're going back to this same
premise we've spoken about already.
860
:Modernity, the modern world, social
structures as, as they are, they
861
:don't make it easy for us to, to be as
functioning and well as we could be.
862
:So we have to be quite savvy and skillful
and go, Hmm, I feel quite lonely.
863
:I haven't got anyone I've moved.
864
:Let's go on, meet up or let's go on a
certain places, Eventbrite, to find where
865
:we have to have the volition to go for it.
866
:And I know that's not easy for if
you're listening, you're like, Oh,
867
:this is so much energy and effort.
868
:I get it.
869
:It really is.
870
:But if you look at the payoff,
what would happen if you did
871
:meet a really cool person?
872
:Like you met Michelle and she's
great fun and she's really clever
873
:and she's just great at the run club.
874
:Or you, you spent time with me
and oh, he's a cool guy that
875
:might be so worth the effort.
876
:And I, I know how I, my, my brain
works because that's what I work with.
877
:It's I'll take the easy option.
878
:Yeah, I could do that.
879
:But that won't give me what I want.
880
:So I have to find ways to
nudge out of that comfort zone.
881
:They think it's, I think, seven percent,
the psychologists who bothered to study
882
:this, it's about seven percent out of
our comfort zone we should be to grow.
883
:Put it this way, it's, I feel
slightly uncomfortable but
884
:safe, would be my metric.
885
:If you feel slightly
uncomfortable but safe, go do it.
886
:And yes, absolute connection.
887
:In a modern world of...
888
:Images, Instagram, and all the,
the, the various, platforms.
889
:It can seem like everyone's
mates with everyone.
890
:And yeah, I think you made
such an important point.
891
:Even if you've just got one good contact,
whoever that is, that might be enough if
892
:you're having a period of loneliness to
keep that healthy social connection going.
893
:Michelle Flynn: I saw it myself.
894
:I decided to set up a women's group.
895
:I moved to Shoreham by sea, didn't
know anyone, as I said, and decided
896
:to set up a women's group and
I put something on Facebook and
897
:that was now about 15 months ago.
898
:I now have nearly a thousand members.
899
:Sal: Amazing.
900
:Michelle Flynn: we meet once a
month and, off the back of that,
901
:there's lots of other things
that go on and it's just lovely.
902
:It's all age ranges, everyone
from all different backgrounds,
903
:it's hosted for free, it doesn't
cost you anything to come.
904
:If you...
905
:Wanna sit and drink a
glass of water, no problem.
906
:we don't want there to be any
blockers, and it is lovely.
907
:And now when I walk through showroom, it
takes me twice as long to get through it
908
:because I'm always seeing someone that I
recognize and even just that interaction
909
:with someone in the street is enough to
charge my battery for the rest of the day.
910
:if you are sitting here thinking that.
911
:You're different because you feel lonely.
912
:You're not.
913
:My, my, what started as an experiment
very much has proven that, that nearly
914
:a thousand women, have come forward.
915
:And my husband has now set
up a men's group in Shoreham,
916
:exactly the same reason.
917
:Look, there is a lot happening out
there and if you can't find anything,
918
:be the person to start it because
you're not the only one thinking it.
919
:Sal: I'm just so touched by that,
that sentiment and it's, it's just
920
:so good to hear what you've done.
921
:So if we are that person, you're like,
can't, I can't, I can't meet people.
922
:This is a real struggle
and I find it tough.
923
:What can you take us through that, that,
that process in your mind that went from,
924
:I'm feeling lonely and I'm in a new place
and I'm going to do something about it.
925
:Could you take us through how
that process worked for you?
926
:So maybe we could, embody
that and take that forward.
927
:Michelle Flynn: So I remember
exactly what happened.
928
:I was walking and I was listening to a
podcast, fairly standard, and I can't
929
:remember who it was, but the guy on
the podcast was talking about a men's
930
:group that had got him through COVID.
931
:And the connection with these
gentlemen had been his saving.
932
:And I just thought, hang on a minute.
933
:Maybe I should start a women's group.
934
:So I went on to one of the main Shoreham
Facebook groups and I put a post
935
:out that said, I'm new to Shoreham.
936
:I've been listening to this podcast
about men's groups, and I think
937
:I might set up a women's group.
938
:Is anyone interested?
939
:And it went from there
suddenly in the comments.
940
:Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
941
:Then I realized, Oh, now what?
942
:So I thought.
943
:I'm going to set up a Facebook
group, Shoreham by Sea Women's
944
:Group, very inventive name,
and let's see what happens.
945
:And they just started joining.
946
:And then I was like, now what?
947
:So I put a post out and I said,
Monday, the whatever date in July last
948
:year it was, I'm going to be in the
garden of this pub in Shoreham at 6.
949
:30.
950
:Anyone wants to come?
951
:25 women turned up.
952
:Makes me quite
953
:Sal: Oh, I love it.
954
:Michelle Flynn: Oh goodness.
955
:It was just like unbelievable and
we all shared our stories and it
956
:just grew from there and every time
there's always new people that come
957
:and I've seen this one lovely group
of women become really good friends.
958
:They're all women.
959
:probably mid fifties to mid sixties,
mostly single and, watching the fun that
960
:they now have together and the things that
they go and do just is so heartwarming.
961
:And the whole acts of kindness being one
of the best ways to make us feel happy,
962
:I feel so happy with the fact that I've
managed to help other people that almost
963
:it's a selfish act on my part because I'm
doing it because it makes me feel good.
964
:It's just been brilliant.
965
:So it wasn't that difficult.
966
:It just took putting a post out
there and seeing what happened.
967
:And they came and they keep coming
and they keep telling other people
968
:saying we do breathwork on the beach
on a Saturday morning and we'll get up
969
:to 90 people joining us on the beach.
970
:And again, it's word of mouth.
971
:It's people wanting to be part of
something and it is just wonderful.
972
:So it's not difficult to do.
973
:Use the technology.
974
:I know we shouldn't spend too
much time on social media.
975
:But let's use it for what it's
good for, which is connecting
976
:people and finding your
977
:Sal: Really nice, such
a, such a powerful story.
978
:I was really charmed by that.
979
:And what I heard as well was in some
ways it was quite simple, wasn't it?
980
:There was a strong feeling.
981
:There was like, why not I, why not us?
982
:And, and let's, let's
go for the first step.
983
:And what I heard was let's, let's
just put it, let's just get a test in.
984
:And then the next step, the next step.
985
:So if, it's very easy to get
overwhelmed with this idea, Oh,
986
:I've got to do all this thing.
987
:what about just put a post?
988
:Does anyone want to meet up for a walk?
989
:start a bit of a walking club.
990
:I like walking.
991
:And, and if three people come, great.
992
:Such an inspiring story.
993
:Thank you for sharing that, Michelle.
994
:And, for those of us around the
Brighton Shore area, we need
995
:to go find Michelle's group.
996
:This sounds cool.
997
:Obviously, I can't go,
because I'm a bloke.
998
:You'll have to come to
your husband's group.
999
:Ha, ha, ha.
:
00:50:04,641 --> 00:50:05,061
Michelle Flynn: Come to the
:
00:50:05,061 --> 00:50:05,381
men's
:
00:50:05,381 --> 00:50:06,671
group or to the breathwork on the
:
00:50:06,696 --> 00:50:07,346
Sal: Amazing.
:
00:50:07,346 --> 00:50:08,006
Sounds good.
:
00:50:09,116 --> 00:50:12,276
I would like to bring this, this
episode, cause we've really focused
:
00:50:12,276 --> 00:50:14,016
on some really important parts.
:
00:50:14,016 --> 00:50:18,316
We've spoke about food, movement,
sleep, connection, and I know you speak
:
00:50:18,316 --> 00:50:21,676
about relaxation as one of your final
kind of key pillars of what you do.
:
00:50:21,716 --> 00:50:24,176
And we're coming to the end
of our, our episode now.
:
00:50:25,146 --> 00:50:26,726
It feels the right way to close.
:
00:50:27,352 --> 00:50:30,682
what do you mean by relaxation
and how might we do it well?
:
00:50:31,645 --> 00:50:34,675
Michelle Flynn: This is the one
thing I'm still working on for myself
:
00:50:34,705 --> 00:50:38,535
because my coach is always telling
me off for the fact that I don't
:
00:50:38,585 --> 00:50:43,395
ever stand still and what I think is
relaxing, she doesn't agree with me.
:
00:50:44,795 --> 00:50:48,755
for it again, like movement, it can
be different for different people.
:
00:50:49,025 --> 00:50:52,545
for some people it is lying on
the sofa and watching Netflix
:
00:50:52,635 --> 00:50:55,125
and no problem with that at all.
:
00:50:55,435 --> 00:50:56,255
As long as that's not.
:
00:50:57,505 --> 00:51:01,615
You not sleeping or you not moving,
or it's not interrupting the
:
00:51:01,615 --> 00:51:04,165
other things that are gonna help
you live a more positive life.
:
00:51:04,565 --> 00:51:08,105
for some people that might be
taking a gentle walk, I love to
:
00:51:08,110 --> 00:51:09,965
walk barefoot on, on the grass.
:
00:51:10,185 --> 00:51:12,045
for me, I find that really relaxing.
:
00:51:12,405 --> 00:51:14,025
We don't get into a flow.
:
00:51:14,600 --> 00:51:16,750
Anymore really, we're so busy.
:
00:51:16,750 --> 00:51:21,940
Our attention is constantly being
grabbed by, adverts or sort of brands
:
00:51:21,940 --> 00:51:24,150
wanting our hard, our hard earned cash.
:
00:51:24,480 --> 00:51:28,730
so sometimes just finding ways to
get into that flow state and reading.
:
00:51:28,900 --> 00:51:33,750
is a really good way to do that and
we so often don't read books anymore.
:
00:51:33,750 --> 00:51:38,290
I have a, an array of books in my house
that I'm still trying to get through.
:
00:51:38,740 --> 00:51:40,690
so it is different for some people.
:
00:51:40,690 --> 00:51:45,260
It will be a massage for some
people, a nice yin yoga class, for
:
00:51:45,260 --> 00:51:49,600
someone else, a nice bath, but I
guess we could call it self care.
:
00:51:50,400 --> 00:51:54,990
And if we're not looking after ourselves,
we can't be strong for anyone else.
:
00:51:54,990 --> 00:51:59,100
And you mentioned this at the beginning
with coaching high performers that
:
00:51:59,100 --> 00:52:03,270
are running businesses and it's all
about the business, but if you're
:
00:52:03,280 --> 00:52:07,920
not well, and if you're not caring
about yourself with whatever that
:
00:52:07,920 --> 00:52:09,930
might be that you find restful.
:
00:52:10,395 --> 00:52:13,485
It might be a really nice conversation
with your best friend that you
:
00:52:13,485 --> 00:52:15,015
haven't spoken to for a while.
:
00:52:15,305 --> 00:52:18,855
there's lots of different parts and
I ask people to create a calm list.
:
00:52:19,515 --> 00:52:23,825
So I say, I want 10 things on that list
because if you feel stressed and you
:
00:52:23,825 --> 00:52:27,895
want to feel calm, you need to know
what is going to make you feel that way.
:
00:52:27,895 --> 00:52:29,855
So what is on that list?
:
00:52:29,855 --> 00:52:34,105
And it can be a herbal tea, a
scented candle, cuddling a dog.
:
00:52:34,475 --> 00:52:38,165
Listening to the sound of the
waves, I often, that's my morning
:
00:52:38,175 --> 00:52:41,175
as I love to go and listen to the
sort of the waves on the beach.
:
00:52:41,515 --> 00:52:46,975
So find your thing, but make sure that
you are doing something for you every
:
00:52:46,975 --> 00:52:49,535
day, preferably without the phone.
:
00:52:49,835 --> 00:52:54,795
15 minutes can recharge that battery to
give you the energy to go and be good at
:
00:52:54,905 --> 00:52:56,885
everything else that your day needs you to
:
00:52:57,035 --> 00:52:58,380
Sal: Yeah, such, such good points.
:
00:52:58,410 --> 00:53:01,280
Downregulation is a technical
term we might use for him
:
00:53:01,490 --> 00:53:03,811
and we have to downregulate.
:
00:53:03,841 --> 00:53:08,111
And in a world of hyper stimulation,
certainly if you are running a
:
00:53:08,111 --> 00:53:11,911
business, running a family, running a
life, there are so many things to do.
:
00:53:11,911 --> 00:53:15,081
There are so many stimulus points
which trigger, the brain, our
:
00:53:15,081 --> 00:53:16,551
visual system, dopamine system.
:
00:53:16,551 --> 00:53:18,011
We are, we're charged a lot.
:
00:53:18,503 --> 00:53:22,113
Two, if you don't downregulate,
you actually change the
:
00:53:22,113 --> 00:53:23,353
baseline of your stress levels.
:
00:53:23,353 --> 00:53:24,943
So you actually raise that baseline.
:
00:53:24,953 --> 00:53:25,923
So you're constantly on.
:
00:53:25,963 --> 00:53:29,363
Wired is a term some people use, and I
think some of us will recognize that term.
:
00:53:32,474 --> 00:53:34,954
equals more upregulation.
:
00:53:35,389 --> 00:53:37,739
So in sports science and the strength
and conditioning world, which I
:
00:53:37,739 --> 00:53:42,379
also straddle, if you want to be
physically strong or physically well,
:
00:53:42,549 --> 00:53:44,879
you have to downregulate properly.
:
00:53:45,299 --> 00:53:47,889
So you, if you do your strength
work, for instance, and you're really
:
00:53:47,889 --> 00:53:50,829
training your physical systems to
become a stronger physical person.
:
00:53:51,569 --> 00:53:54,229
If you don't downregulate with breath
work directly after your training
:
00:53:55,109 --> 00:53:59,689
practice and proper sleep and proper
downregulation, you don't grow
:
00:53:59,689 --> 00:54:03,469
new tissue, new mitochondria, new
physical parts that you need to be.
:
00:54:03,979 --> 00:54:05,319
upregulated and strong.
:
00:54:05,859 --> 00:54:09,849
So I think if we misunderstand
the value of downregulation, we
:
00:54:09,849 --> 00:54:11,479
can think, Oh, it's, I'm so busy.
:
00:54:12,019 --> 00:54:16,009
And by the way, if you say
I'm busy, I'm coming for you.
:
00:54:17,329 --> 00:54:17,839
I get it.
:
00:54:17,869 --> 00:54:18,879
We've all got a lot to do.
:
00:54:18,879 --> 00:54:19,609
And I'm too.
:
00:54:19,609 --> 00:54:21,219
I've got lots and lots
of things I like to do.
:
00:54:21,219 --> 00:54:23,239
I have my business and it's brilliant fun.
:
00:54:23,689 --> 00:54:26,079
And sometimes it can be a challenge
because it's quite overwhelming.
:
00:54:26,079 --> 00:54:26,999
There are many things to do.
:
00:54:27,059 --> 00:54:27,789
Modern life, right?
:
00:54:28,519 --> 00:54:33,209
But be very careful of the narrative
of, I'm so busy, because that can
:
00:54:33,209 --> 00:54:37,599
be a mantra that means, I can't
relax, it's not okay to downregulate,
:
00:54:37,849 --> 00:54:39,379
I don't give myself permission.
:
00:54:39,529 --> 00:54:43,239
And that's one thing I would say in my
experience, give yourself permission.
:
00:54:43,789 --> 00:54:46,679
Know that you need to
downregulate, and know that that
:
00:54:46,679 --> 00:54:48,359
busyness can be turned down.
:
00:54:49,030 --> 00:54:50,340
Michelle Flynn: Yeah,
there's a great quote.
:
00:54:50,500 --> 00:54:54,390
Arnold Schwarzenegger has written
a book called Be Useful and he's
:
00:54:54,390 --> 00:54:59,700
talking about time and I won't quote
him exactly because he uses a bit
:
00:54:59,700 --> 00:55:04,140
of language, but the basics of what
he's saying is that we're all busy.
:
00:55:04,300 --> 00:55:05,660
But we all have time.
:
00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:11,750
And if you were to write one page every
day for 365 days, you've written a book.
:
00:55:12,310 --> 00:55:17,490
so we are really busy and life has never
been busier than it is, but this is about
:
00:55:17,500 --> 00:55:23,390
the priorities of how we spend our time
and two minutes of breathing exercises.
:
00:55:23,995 --> 00:55:25,255
Can make a difference.
:
00:55:25,495 --> 00:55:28,255
Eating one extra vegetable
can make a difference.
:
00:55:28,260 --> 00:55:32,965
Having one extra glass of water, having
a cuddle with your child, or your
:
00:55:32,965 --> 00:55:38,485
partner or your friend, whatever it is,
it's the small things that all add up.
:
00:55:38,995 --> 00:55:39,475
And.
:
00:55:39,815 --> 00:55:43,255
It's not about running
marathons or about going vegan.
:
00:55:43,255 --> 00:55:46,365
If you want to run marathons
and you're a vegan, great.
:
00:55:46,685 --> 00:55:47,705
Absolutely.
:
00:55:47,745 --> 00:55:49,495
They take such dedication.
:
00:55:50,465 --> 00:55:52,745
Let's just start with the simple stuff.
:
00:55:53,065 --> 00:55:58,005
It's a few more steps, a few more
minutes of sleep, a little bit less time
:
00:55:58,005 --> 00:56:02,705
on the phone because, again, this is
around the James hit, James Clear and
:
00:56:02,825 --> 00:56:05,465
building habits is that sort of, he says.
:
00:56:06,080 --> 00:56:09,730
Start with something that you can
do even on your most difficult day.
:
00:56:10,255 --> 00:56:10,825
Sal: Amazing.
:
00:56:11,000 --> 00:56:11,960
Michelle Flynn: I think that's a good
:
00:56:12,025 --> 00:56:12,605
Sal: I love that.
:
00:56:13,105 --> 00:56:16,925
We are going to pull it to a close here,
so we hope you can go and downregulate.
:
00:56:17,415 --> 00:56:17,985
Take some time.
:
00:56:19,383 --> 00:56:22,593
and I always encourage my listeners,
so if you've taken points on this
:
00:56:22,593 --> 00:56:26,103
and you are someone like me, you
have to write it down, Scrabble back,
:
00:56:26,103 --> 00:56:29,103
go find the marker on the what what
did you, what did you wanna hear?
:
00:56:29,103 --> 00:56:29,973
What did Michelle say?
:
00:56:29,973 --> 00:56:30,873
What did, what did I say?
:
00:56:30,993 --> 00:56:32,463
What was what struck you?
:
00:56:32,643 --> 00:56:35,743
Capture it, integrate it, implement it.
:
00:56:35,803 --> 00:56:38,923
Because to be well and healthy
and happy, and have a positive
:
00:56:38,923 --> 00:56:40,933
life, it takes a little action.
:
00:56:41,278 --> 00:56:42,618
continuous steps every day.
:
00:56:42,668 --> 00:56:45,298
So I hope you are able
to take that forward.
:
00:56:45,618 --> 00:56:46,818
Dear listener, thank you.
:
00:56:46,938 --> 00:56:48,508
Absorb, take it to the next one.
:
00:56:48,518 --> 00:56:52,488
Michelle, thank you for your time and
knowledge and I'll speak to you all again.
:
00:56:52,578 --> 00:56:52,978
Take care.
:
00:56:55,472 --> 00:56:57,122
Sal Jefferies: Thank you
so much for listening.
:
00:56:57,392 --> 00:57:00,962
If you enjoyed the episode,
please subscribe and if a friend
:
00:57:00,962 --> 00:57:04,052
would benefit from hearing this,
do send it on to them as well.
:
00:57:05,252 --> 00:57:08,252
If you would like to get in touch
yourself, then you can go to my website,
:
00:57:08,492 --> 00:57:17,162
which is sal jeffries.com, spelled S
A L J E F E R I E s sal jeffries.com.
:
00:57:17,462 --> 00:57:20,822
Hit the get in touch link and there
you can send me a direct message.
:
00:57:21,767 --> 00:57:24,647
If you'd like to go one step further
and learn whether coaching could help
:
00:57:24,647 --> 00:57:29,327
you overcome a challenge or a block
in your life, then do reach out and
:
00:57:29,327 --> 00:57:32,717
I offer a call where we can discuss
how this may be able to help you.
:
00:57:33,587 --> 00:57:35,507
Until the next time, take care.