What if understanding why you behaved the way you did could help you stop punishing yourself for it?

In Part 2 of Kim's conversation with therapist and The Narrative Method founder Shari Foos, they explore self-forgiveness, storytelling, creativity, and what becomes possible when we look at our past behavior with curiosity instead of condemnation.

Kim shares a Mental Freedom® perspective that every person is doing the best they know to get what they want in that moment. That doesn't mean every behavior is helpful or that harmful behavior should be excused. It means that when we understand what we were trying to accomplish or what need we were attempting to satisfy, we may be able to replace judgment with understanding and make different choices today.

Shari connects this idea to The Narrative Method, where storytelling and creative writing can help people externalize their experiences and notice patterns they may have difficulty seeing when they're busy criticizing themselves. Rather than asking, “What's wrong with me?” we can become curious about what was happening inside us and what we might do differently now.

Shari also introduces several concepts from The Narrative Method, including relational mindfulness, radical gratitude, kaleidoscoping, upgrading, narrative awe, and the “rocket ship”—the idea that even a tiny change in trajectory can eventually take us somewhere very different.

Kim and Shari also discuss something important to both of their approaches: forgiveness should never be forced. Forgiveness may be liberating, but readiness matters, and no one else gets to decide when—or whether—you are ready.

Key Takeaway

Understanding why you behaved as you did doesn't erase consequences or excuse harm. It can help you stop using your past as evidence against yourself. You can understand the person you were, take responsibility where needed, and choose differently with the knowledge and skills you have today.

You don't have to transform everything at once. Sometimes changing your trajectory by one small degree is enough to begin moving toward something different.

To register to attend a free salon, visit Free Online Writing Salons & Community | The Narrative Method or email Shari at [email protected].