Haystack dives into the secret language of men and their emotional text messages. Who knew texting could be so complicated?
Ever wonder what your guy's texts really mean? Turns out, they might be more attached than you think!
From 'I need you' to 'I can't wait to see you again,' Haystack explores the wild world of romantic texting!
Who knew that texting could be a relationship minefield? Haystack hilariously breaks it all down for us!
Haystack reveals that men might be sending some deep feels via text, but his reactions are priceless and totally relatable!
If 'being with you feels like home' makes you worried, you're not alone! Haystack has all the laughs on this emotional rollercoaster.
Transcripts
Speaker A:
Good morning.
Speaker A:
It's Haystack, and I saw this article on a website called your Tango, and the article said, if a man sends you these text messages, he's way more emotionally attached than it seems.
Speaker A:
And I got nervous because apparently there's a whole secret language that men are using that I was never taught.
Speaker A:
The first text in the list was, you were my first thought this morning.
Speaker A:
Nope, never sent that one.
Speaker A:
My first thought in the morning is usually, why is my mouth so dry?
Speaker A:
Followed by, did I leave the oven on?
Speaker A:
And then it said, I'm always here for you no matter what happens.
Speaker A:
Nope.
Speaker A:
Absolutely not.
Speaker A:
That is a dangerous promise.
Speaker A:
No matter what happens.
Speaker A:
What if something happens during a game?
Speaker A:
What if you call and I'm carrying groceries?
Speaker A:
Suddenly I'm dropping a dozen eggs in a parking lot because you had a weird dream about your co worker.
Speaker A:
I might be here for you, but it kind of depends on traffic.
Speaker A:
Another one was, you make me feel so special.
Speaker A:
Nope, never said that to anybody.
Speaker A:
I've thought you make me feel less irritated than most people, which is huge for me.
Speaker A:
That's basically a wedding proposal, but never.
Speaker A:
You make me feel so special.
Speaker A:
Then I can't wait to see you again.
Speaker A:
No, no, no.
Speaker A:
I don't say that.
Speaker A:
I say, let me know when you're around.
Speaker A:
Maybe.
Speaker A:
Maybe holler at me.
Speaker A:
That gives me a little flexibility.
Speaker A:
So many of these.
Speaker A:
I don't want to date anyone else.
Speaker A:
See, even if that is true, I don't think you can send that in writing.
Speaker A:
You can't just send it right?
Speaker A:
Then it can be screenshotted, and now there's evidence.
Speaker A:
I prefer to communicate commitment through vague body language and leaving a phone charger at your apartment or something.
Speaker A:
The list gets even more intense from that spot.
Speaker A:
The next one on the list.
Speaker A:
I need you.
Speaker A:
What need?
Speaker A:
I need WI Fi.
Speaker A:
I need coffee.
Speaker A:
I need eight hours of sleep.
Speaker A:
Although apparently, I've decided to live without that one.
Speaker A:
I don't want to put that kind of pressure on someone, on another human being.
Speaker A:
Can you imagine getting a text that says, I need you, and you're in the middle of eating tacos?
Speaker A:
Now you got to put down a taco and become someone's emotional support person?
Speaker A:
I don't want to put that evil on you, Ricky Bobby.
Speaker A:
My life is so much better with you in it.
Speaker A:
Oh, that's beautiful.
Speaker A:
I would never say that, but it's beautiful.
Speaker A:
I might say, this is nice.
Speaker A:
You got to understand, coming from me, this is nice means I've already pictured us sharing a Sam's Club membership.
Speaker A:
I can't stop thinking about our last date.
Speaker A:
I can stop.
Speaker A:
I have errands.
Speaker A:
I have things to do.
Speaker A:
I want to grow old with you.
Speaker A:
Woohoo.
Speaker A:
That is so far ahead.
Speaker A:
I don't even know what I'm gonna do tomorrow.
Speaker A:
People are planning old age.
Speaker A:
I'm still trying to figure out if the milk smells weird.
Speaker A:
I want to make more memories with you.
Speaker A:
That was on the list.
Speaker A:
Which again, sounds lovely, but memories are kind of expensive now.
Speaker A:
Every memory involves parking, reservations, a service fee.
Speaker A:
I'm.
Speaker A:
Duh.
Speaker A:
Finally being with you feels like home.
Speaker A:
Do men really send that as a text message?
Speaker A:
I've never sent that.
Speaker A:
I mean, home is where I take my pants off, ignore everybody, and eat stuff over the sink.
Speaker A:
If I ever tell a woman being with you feels like home.
Speaker A:
Don't feel flattered, feel concerned.
Speaker A:
Because what I mean is, I am extremely comfortable here.
Speaker A:
I've stopped trying.
Speaker A:
And somewhere nearby, there's an unpaid electricity bill.
Speaker A:
And I don't care.
Speaker A:
I.
Speaker A:
Look, according to this article, if a man sends any of these text messages, he's deeply, emotionally attached.
Speaker A:
And according to this article and my text history, I have never, ever experienced love.
