I chat to pioneering parental mental health campaigner and author Mark Williams. In this first part, Mark talks about the traumatic birth of his son which triggered postnatal depression in both his wife and himself. We discuss the added stigma of fathers struggling and the pressure put on men to “man up”.
*TRIGGER WARNING: BIRTH TRAUMA/THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE/ALCOHOL ABUSE*
IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:
[00:00] Introduction to Mark Williams (part 1)
[01:36] Ethan’s birth – from positive beginnings to emergency C-Section
[02:43] Mark's first panic attack, in the labour word
[04:38] Where was the ‘rush of love’?
[06:11] Getting home – masking emotions
[07:11] Lack of support and education for new dads.
[07:38] The pressure of being brought up to be tough and "man up"
[09:50] Michelle diagnosed with PND *TRIGGER WARNING*
[12:12] Giving up work to look after his family
[13:38] The impact on Mark's mental health
[16:11] Changes to Mark's personality - suicidal thoughts *TRIGGER WARNING*
[18:01] Alcohol abuse and anger - ways of trying to 'cope'
[19:41] The barriers stopping Mark getting help - the affect on his job, social services
[20:47] Support available from employers - greater awareness
[22:14] Mark's research into the importance of fathers’ mental health and the need for early intervention
[23:29] Suicide risks in men *TRIGGER WARNING*
[24:02] Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - requires different treatment
[24:45] Postnatal Depression in men - including hormonal changes
KEY TAKEAWAYS:
- 1 in 10 dads suffer with their mental health after their child is born. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
- The quicker you get help, the quicker your recovery. Reach out, help is available.
- Early intervention is crucial - for the whole family.
- Men can experience hormonal changes during the perinatal period.
- Mark's TED talk on the importance of father’s mental health.
- Mark's work with Dr Andrew Mayers
- Contact Mark here: Mark's website
- Fathers Reaching Out - support for dads
If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.
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Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com
NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:
In Episode 9, pioneering paternal mental health champion Mark Williams tells me more about his life's work campaigning for and supporting fathers during the perinatal period.
SUPPORT:
If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER.
We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).
Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)
Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.
Email: app@app-network.org
Tel: 020 3322 9900
Andy's Man Club
A non-judgemental talking group for men
https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/
Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk
Association of Postnatal Illness
Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868
Email: info@apni.org
Live chat online facility
Best Beginnings
Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering
evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy
and early stages of parenting.
App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides
24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.
Birth Trauma Association
Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk
CALM
Contact CALM
on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)
Cedar House Support Group
Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)
Mobile: 07773 283556
DadsNet
Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.
Fathers Reaching Out
https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/
Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.
Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)
Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org
Maternal OCD
Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to
arrange
Muslim Women’s Network
Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –
4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,
and Bengali.
Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk
Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk
Text: 07415 206 936
Netmums
Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In
Clinic.
NHS
Contact your local GP surgery.
Call the NHS on 111
or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline
If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.
PANDAS
Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401
Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk
Petals
Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy
or baby loss.
Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/
Email: counselling@petalscharity.org
Tel: 0300 688 0068
Samaritans
Tel: 116 123
(this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)
Web: www.samaritans.org
Email: jo@samaritans.org
Shout
Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.
Twins Trust
Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All
the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.
Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,
alternatively email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.
Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html
Tommy’s
Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.
Web: www.tommys.org
Helpline: Tommy’s
helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions
via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.
Email: midwife@tommys.org
MUSIC by Joseph McDade
