Struggling to prioritize what deserves my attention has been a recurring theme in my life, and today I'm diving into those thoughts.
As I navigate the complexities of content creation while also wanting to be present for my family and faith, I find myself questioning whether my creative pursuits are distractions or genuine callings. I reflect on the challenges of sharing my struggles openly, especially considering how it might affect my relationships. Additionally, I touch on the idea of personal refinement and the discomfort that comes with acknowledging imperfections. Join me as I explore these thoughts and seek clarity on how to balance my passions with my responsibilities.
Takeaways:
There's almost always more that we could do that time to do it. That's why it's important to truly know what's most important and invest our lives there.
It's important to seek clarity on what truly matters in life amidst distractions.
Today's prompt is right now I'm thinking about well, doesn't this make for incredible content to think about and just share what I'm thinking about?
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To be honest, there are so many things that I'm thinking about right now, it's really hard to focus on just one thing.
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I'm considering currently everything that's on my to do list, and I feel like maybe focusing on myself isn't great blog material.
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Yeah, that's my thoughts.
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And also like, who would even want to read about or hear about my random thoughts?
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But I guess that's all part of this experiment to reconnect.
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So here goes.
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It's Sunday.
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I'm just a few days into this new writing and podcasting routine using prompts.
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I'm still not sure how open I want to be on the Internet because I feel like it's a little bit hard for me to know where I should draw those appropriate boundary lines to what to share and what not to share.
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After all, I don't expect to share anything that's inappropriate.
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But at the same time, I think my wife would be a little upset if she found something on the Internet that I had shared that I was struggling with or that I was thinking about and I'd never shared it with her.
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And it's probably going to happen, but that doesn't mean that I want to have that happen.
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And if I take it a step further, I wonder how long I can keep this up, how long I can be regular with the practice of content creation.
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In the past, I've done daily blog posts, I've done a daily podcast before, and I've kept that going for a while, but those are really hard to maintain.
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Even now, as I'm sitting here, I'm looking towards some time being out of town, and I'm not even sure if I want to maintain this schedule, at least a regular schedule, while I'm on vacation with my family.
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I wish I had a little bit more wisdom in this area, because the trade off decisions are a little bit hard for me to struggle with from time to time.
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Wanting to be able to focus on my family and be present, but also recognizing that if I take a break, it's unlikely that, well, it's less likely that I'll come back.
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I'd like to think I would, but who knows?
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And unlike work where I can just run a simple npv, that's net present value calculation to understand the time value of money, because I'm looking at investment type stuff I can't really do that here because I can't see and quantify the cost now versus the value in the future.
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There are also some other things that I'm uncertain of.
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A couple of them are coming to mind.
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The first is that our pastor mentioned that in our church.
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He believes that we're in a season of refinement, individually and as a church body.
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And in today's sermon he mentioned that, and I can definitely see that in my life.
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However, there are some areas of my life where I've been kind of struggling against refinement.
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This is another one of the things that I've been thinking about, areas where I've been trying to either keep control or trying to keep things private.
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And this has also been very much a season where some of those weaknesses that come with middle age are now starting to make themselves publicly.
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Notably, I'm not super fond of going into environment, whether walking through an airport or something else, where I'm carrying with me the evidence of age and genetics.
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But here we are, and that spills into other areas of my life as well.
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I don't like being weak, I don't like being imperfect, and it's not comfortable for me to address those kinds of things.
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I just don't like it and I'm struggling with it a bit.
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And then finally, as I think about ordering my life, I'm focusing on some creative outlets.
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Right now.
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That's where this podcast came from.
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I have so many other ideas for podcasts I'd like to launch and blog posts I'd like to rewrite and things I'd like to do with the business and all that kind of stuff.
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And at the same time, I recognize the need to spend more time with my family and to be more intentional with my time with God.
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And I wonder, are all these things that I have in my mind, the things to do, the things, the ideas that I have, the shows I'd like to host, all of that stuff.
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Are those just distractions from where I would find blessing and rest and fulfillment in my calling?
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Am I allowing myself to be too inward focused and selfish instead of selflessly focusing on God and the needs of those around me?
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And I probably am.
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And I'm looking for some clarity because I don't want to just do something different for the sake of not doing what I'm doing.
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I want to know what it should look like.
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So that's my prayer, right?
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Heavenly father, I'm so thankful that you are revealing things to me and you reveal things to us, even when we're selfish and faithless, and when we're focused on ourselves and our needs or our wants.
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Forgive me for the many times and the many ways that I stumble and fall and walk willfully away from your plan in my life.
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Guide me and hold me firmly in your providence, accomplishing your will in my life, my family and my community, for your glory in the advancement of your kingdom.
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If you stuck around this long, I hope this was worthwhile for you.
