Shownotes
This podcast episode features an insightful conversation with Debbie O’Connell, a distinguished LPGA teaching professional and author of "Golf Positive, Live Positive." The discourse primarily centers on the mental aspects of golf, emphasizing the significance of mindset in achieving both personal satisfaction and performance improvement on the course. Debbie elucidates her journey from a competitive athlete grappling with self-doubt to becoming a mindset expert, highlighting the transformative power of positive thinking and emotional management. We delve into the psychological barriers many golfers face, such as perfectionism and fear of failure, and explore strategies to overcome these obstacles, thereby enhancing one's overall experience in the game. As we engage in this enlightening dialogue, listeners are invited to reflect on their own beliefs and attitudes towards golf and life, ultimately fostering a more positive and fulfilling approach to both.
Links referenced in this episode:
Companies mentioned in this episode:
- Painterdale's Natural Beef
- Oregon Crab Commission
- Oregon Dungeness crab
- Kia
- Birdie Ball
- Pig Powder
- Golf Digest
This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:
OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy
Transcripts
It's time for Grilling at the Green.
Speaker A:Join Jeff Tracy as he explores the golfing lifestyle and tries to keep it in the short grass for the hackers, new sweepers and turf spankers.
Speaker A:Here's Jeff.
Speaker B:This is Noncore.
Speaker A:Hey, everybody.
Speaker A:Welcome to Grilling at the Green here in Portland and Seattle.
Speaker A:And I don't know if we started San Francisco yet.
Speaker A:We may have not.
Speaker A:But in Texas, in Pennsylvania, and some other states around there.
Speaker A:And of course, every week on the Golf News Network iheart channel out there, I'm JT or Jeff.
Speaker A:Call me whatever.
Speaker A:We'd like to thank the folks at Painterdale's Natural Beef Beef the way nature intended, and also the Oregon Crab Commission.
Speaker A:From seed to plate, it's good stuff.
Speaker A:Oregon Dungeness crab.
Speaker A:We've got a very special guest today, Debbie O'.
Speaker A:Connell.
Speaker A:If you follow anything, like on LinkedIn or Twitter, any of the platforms, Debbie's out there with a positive message, and by God, we could use some of that for more than just my golf game.
Speaker A:But.
Speaker A:And Debbie's also an author.
Speaker A:She's got a tome out there called Golf Positive, Live Positive.
Speaker A:And she's one of Golf Digest 50 Best Women Teachers in America.
Speaker A:So how's that?
Speaker A:Is that a good intro for you?
Speaker B:That sounds awesome.
Speaker B:And, Jeff, just to add to that, I am one of the leading mindset experts in the game, and I absolutely have fallen in love with our brains.
Speaker B:So thank you for that great intro.
Speaker B:I am so excited to be here with you.
Speaker B:Now, do I get food from you being here?
Speaker A:Yeah, we have food of vision, so I just send it through that way and you can sample it.
Speaker A:How did you.
Speaker A:We'll start with the basics here.
Speaker A:Debbie, how did you kind of decide to not just teach, but really get into people's thought processes and emotions and the.
Speaker A:The whole positive genre, if you will?
Speaker B:Because I struggled.
Speaker B:That's why, you know, I grew up.
Speaker B:You know, I'm a very good athlete in a family where both my parents were great athletes.
Speaker B:And I felt for me, a lot of expectations, a lot of high expectations.
Speaker B:And, you know, talking to my mom now, like, she didn't mean to do that.
Speaker B:My dad did.
Speaker B:It was, show me a good loser and I'll show you a loser.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker B:Winning isn't everything.
Speaker B:It's the only thing.
Speaker B:So I heard a lot of those comments.
Speaker B:And then having some skills, I felt like I had to perform and I would get incredibly nervous.
Speaker B:When I was in sixth grade basketball, I had a migraine head headache because that night we had the championship game.
Speaker B:And that's how much pressure I was putting on myself, just playing in sports.
Speaker B:And that was basketball.
Speaker B:I grew up playing other sports than golf.
Speaker B:It wasn't golf.
Speaker B:And then when I got to golf, I realized this is a bigger challenge mentally than all those other sports I ever played, because golf really does put us to the test in terms of our mental game.
Speaker B:So I wanted to understand more for me, because I didn't know if I was afraid of failure, afraid of success.
Speaker B:Why am I not reaching my full potential?
Speaker B:This is frustrating.
Speaker B:I would feel badly about myself.
Speaker B:I would think I wasn't good enough.
Speaker B:And I was trying consciously to say positive things because I did learn that going through college, and I still, underneath it felt not good enough and that there was more.
Speaker B:So I went deep into my studies, actually became a life coach.
Speaker B:And now I've combined my life coaching skills with my many years of experience as an LPGA professional to become a golf mindset expert.
Speaker B:You.
Speaker A:You.
Speaker A:You touched on something there, and I. I just want to jump back to it real quick.
Speaker A:Debbie, you said you.
Speaker A:You didn't feel that you were good enough.
Speaker A:Paraphrasing.
Speaker A:And when we're off the air, I'll tell you a personal story, because I can kind of relate to that.
Speaker A:But do you think that was entirely because you wanted to please, like your father and your mother?
Speaker A:We all do.
Speaker A:We want to please our parents.
Speaker A:You know, I grew up in a competitive sport, but it wasn't golf.
Speaker A:But sometimes I think that can carry over into, mom and dad are retired, they're gone, they've passed away, whatever.
Speaker A:And you still have those feelings inside sometimes.
Speaker B:I am so glad you brought this up, Jeff, because our imprint years are 0 to 7 years old, and if we grow up with parents who only talk about where you fell short, you get all A's except that one B.
Speaker B:What happened on the B.
Speaker B:And we're always pointing out where you weren't perfect.
Speaker B:Then you grow up in life as a perfectionist.
Speaker B:You feel like I have to be perfect to please my parents or to be good enough, to be loved enough.
Speaker B:The people who felt a little out of control and had so much fear, literally.
Speaker B:In golf, I can look at a student who's squeezing so tightly and have incredible tension.
Speaker B:How many of you out there hold the club too tightly?
Speaker B:I'm sure it's at least 95% of you.
Speaker B:And many times when I'm, you know, some people, I can say, you know, just relax your grip, take a breath, let your arms relax, and they can do it.
Speaker B:Other people can't.
Speaker B:And I say, are you a control freak everywhere in your life or just in golf?
Speaker B:And they're like, how'd you know it was everywhere?
Speaker B:Or I'll just say, where else do you have to have control?
Speaker B:And it's because they have such fear if they're out of control.
Speaker B:And your brain doesn't know the difference, whether it's just swinging a golf club or if you might get hurt emotionally if you're out of control.
Speaker B:So those imprint years, that's why it doesn't matter how old you are.
Speaker B:We want to tackle.
Speaker B:What are your beliefs?
Speaker B:I have to be perfect to be loved.
Speaker B:I had.
Speaker B:I had a situation.
Speaker B:And my parents are.
Speaker B:I'm blessed I still have them.
Speaker B:They're great parents.
Speaker B:They want what's best for us, right?
Speaker B:My mom coached me.
Speaker B:My dad didn't because he was.
Speaker B:He was a bad sport, and he couldn't handle losing for some reason.
Speaker B:However he grew up, you know, losing was a very bad thing.
Speaker B:So he didn't coach us.
Speaker B:My mom did, and she was a great coach.
Speaker B:And I remember this one game, and some of your listeners may be able to relate to this in one way or another, whether it was in golf or in another sport or maybe academics or something.
Speaker B:We were in a softball game, and it's the championship game, and it's going into extra innings.
Speaker B:My sister and I are the two pitchers.
Speaker B:And now I am younger, shorter, not as strong as my sister.
Speaker B:She's 15 months older, taller, and stronger, obviously the better choice to go into extra innings.
Speaker B:I was that little kid, though, with so much excitement.
Speaker B:You know, those kids that are, pick me, pick me, pick me.
Speaker B:I want to go first.
Speaker B:And no fear at all of I might lose the game.
Speaker B:Nothing ever came.
Speaker B:I'm like, mom, Mom, Mom, I want to do it.
Speaker B:Pick me.
Speaker B:I want to pitch.
Speaker B:I want to pitch.
Speaker B:So my mom, who didn't really want to say no to me because she just saw the enthusiasm, said, yeah, go ahead.
Speaker B:So there we are, the championship.
Speaker B:I think I got one or two outs.
Speaker B:The best hitter on the other team is up, and I feel like I'm firing it in there.
Speaker B:Jeff.
Speaker B:I'm just loving this.
Speaker B:Then she gets a hold of one.
Speaker B:The ball goes flying over my head, over the outfielders, and she hits a home run, and we lose the game.
Speaker B:Now, my mom, when I came off the field, and, you know, I was disappointed we lost, but I don't think I was crushed.
Speaker B:But then I heard my mom say to herself, but out loud, I knew I should have put Donna in.
Speaker B:And in that moment, I really thought I'd let my mom down.
Speaker B:And I was a disappointment.
Speaker B:And that little enthusiasm just didn't seem to be there anymore.
Speaker B:The fearlessness that I had before, and I would think some people can relate to that.
Speaker B:Of where when they were a kid, did that fearlessness, that excitement of just participating, just go out and do your best and accepting the result was part of you that you don't have anymore.
Speaker A:Yeah, I can totally understand that.
Speaker A:Because especially growing up, you know, there's two versions.
Speaker A:There's the version that's inside the house of you can do better, you want to, you know, like you said, heading towards the perfectionist.
Speaker A:And then there's the version outside of the house where the parents are talking about, I got the best picture in the county here or something.
Speaker A:You know, you've got that.
Speaker A:And I think that poses a bit of a conundrum for kids, Debbie.
Speaker A:I know it did for me because you're hearing one thing and then you go back inside the house or out to the barn or whatever and you hear another thing and you're going, what in the hell are they doing here?
Speaker A:I don't know what I'm doing, you know, and I think that causes a doubt, especially dampens the confidence and sometimes it stifles your, you know, sports is also being creative at times and that can stifle things where you don't want to take a chance.
Speaker A:We do have to take a break, so you can answer that on the other side of the break, if you would.
Speaker A:We're talking with Debbie o', Connell, LPGA teaching professional, author of Golf Positive, Live, Positive motivational speaker.
Speaker A:Great.
Speaker A:I mean, I, I did my research on this and I'm impressed.
Speaker A:So Debbie and I will be back right after this.
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Speaker A:This is an encore.
Speaker A:Welcome back to grilling.
Speaker A:It's green.
Speaker A:I'm J.T.
Speaker A:We're talking with Debbie O' Connell today.
Speaker A:Before we jump back into that, Debbie, this is the part of the show where we always do a travel tip for people.
Speaker A:And I know you're very well traveled.
Speaker A:And so we actually, I could have named it something a little easier instead of golf trip.
Speaker A:Travel tips say that four times really fast.
Speaker A:Anyway, what would be your travel tip?
Speaker A:And it could be.
Speaker A:And I'm baiting you, so I apologize for that.
Speaker A:But if you know, if you're going someplace to play and some sort of competitive thing is when you're traveling, is that a good time to get yourself back in the right mindset?
Speaker B:Every moment of the day is always a great time to get yourself back in the right mindset.
Speaker B:I'm going to give everyone an incredible tip, though, before I get into the mindset that you can do when you're traveling, an airtag on your golf clubs could save the day.
Speaker B:We had people who use ship sticks and somehow they went to the wrong place.
Speaker B:Or even our trip to Spain, they were on the airplane and I know we get the barcode, but for some reason they couldn't find some of their clubs.
Speaker B:So we were all talking about, wow, if you just had an airtag in there and you could say, find that airtag, which is on my clubs, you could tell the airport or Shipsticks or whoever else exactly where your clubs are located.
Speaker B:So that was a good one.
Speaker B:That helped.
Speaker B:One of our travelers did that and hers had happened to go all over the world and she knew exactly where her clubs were at all times.
Speaker A:Oh, that's a great tip.
Speaker A:Very good tip.
Speaker A:We want to thank the folks at Kia Weston, Kia and largest Kia dealer here in the Northwest for that.
Speaker A:We're talking with Debbie o' Connell today.
Speaker A:If Debbie puts these really cool little little vignettes, little snippets out, I actually see them on LinkedIn, but I know you probably post them other places like that.
Speaker A:And that little message is always very, very cool.
Speaker A:But I do, I want to go back to what we talked about at the end of the last segment.
Speaker A:You know that getting different messages growing up, sometimes that can almost, I think, and I'm.
Speaker A:I don't know anything about this stuff really, but I think that could be almost impossible to overcome for some people.
Speaker B:Thankfully, it's not impossible.
Speaker B:There are people way smarter than me who studied neuroscience, stud brain and understand our conscious and unconscious mind, understand how they work and the neuro connections that we created then.
Speaker B:Not only that, Jeff, and then how to break those neural connections and create New ones that are more empowering.
Speaker B:So if we have found that there's a limiting belief I'm not smart enough, which was one I had, because when I was in second grade and I confidently.
Speaker B:Even though I was really shy and fearful and full of doubt and afraid, this one week, I just knew I was going to get 100 on my spelling bee.
Speaker B:And the teacher said, remember tomorrow's your spelling bee.
Speaker B:And I stood up and I said, oh, this is an easy week.
Speaker B:And she looked at me in front of the whole class and said, easy for you, Debbie.
Speaker B:You only have three perfects the whole year.
Speaker B:And we had a lot of weeks in.
Speaker B:I was the worst in the class, and I was crushed.
Speaker B:And I just knew at that point I was the dumbest one in the class and I wasn't smart.
Speaker B:And that belief stuck because it was an emotional, very embarrassing moment.
Speaker B:And then that was my belief.
Speaker B:And then the rest of my life, I find proof that shows I'm not smart enough.
Speaker B:Thankfully, I learned how to change that neural connection and that belief with neuro linguistic programming, timeline therapy, all the modalities I use, meditation, hypnosis, I use all of it.
Speaker B:And what we want is the conscious and unconscious mind to get on the same page.
Speaker B:Because for years, I would just consciously say, I've got this.
Speaker B:I can do this.
Speaker B:I'm talented, I'm a great golfer.
Speaker B:Me and my target.
Speaker B:I focus.
Speaker B:And I would do it consciously, unconsciously, though I didn't feel I had the skills or I was good enough, smart enough, talented enough, whatever, enough that I felt, or I felt this pressure that I had to perform.
Speaker B:I had to be perfect out there.
Speaker B:I had to win.
Speaker B:And it was pressure, not just striving to win.
Speaker A:How does the.
Speaker A:The average, the.
Speaker A:The weekend warrior, the duffers, whatever you want to call them, they go out and they're starting to have a really good game.
Speaker A:I mean, these guys aren't trying to shoot, you know, four under or anything like that.
Speaker A:But, you know, maybe they.
Speaker A:Maybe they shoot 90 and.
Speaker A:Which is fine if that's where you shoot, that's where you shoot, you know, and you're having a good time.
Speaker A:And maybe they're.
Speaker A:They.
Speaker A:They get halfway through their front nine and everything is kind of clicking.
Speaker A:They've made a.
Speaker A:Made a birdie.
Speaker A:They made one bo.
Speaker A:The rest of us been pars.
Speaker A:They're on.
Speaker A:On track for a really good day.
Speaker A:But then the doubt creeps in and they start.
Speaker A:Maybe they take a little aggressive approach to a shot or to a hole.
Speaker A:All right.
Speaker A:And doesn't work.
Speaker A:And then the doubt starts to creep in.
Speaker A:I, I'm, I do that.
Speaker A:And then you think, what were you doing, you dummy?
Speaker A:You know, type thing.
Speaker A:And that can actually, you know, even though it's a social and a fun round, that can ruin the round for people.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Especially when they have it going like that.
Speaker B:And part of it is if everyone just imagines for a moment, where are your average scores?
Speaker B:We all have a handicap, but if you think about it, you usually score between blank high number and blank low number.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:Even if you have an incredible front nine, you shoot just badly enough to sneak in that range, or you have a horrible front nine and then you pull it together on the back to get back in that range.
Speaker B:So it's our belief system of where we see ourselves as a golfer.
Speaker B:And the biggest power in our unconscious mind is to create the reality that we believe to be the truth.
Speaker B:So if you see yourself as a certain golfer, your unconscious mind is going to make sure that's what you shoot.
Speaker B:And the beliefs are, if you don't believe you're that good.
Speaker B:We self sabotage.
Speaker B:Anybody ever hear that term self sabotaging?
Speaker B:In a lot of areas of life.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Not just golf, but we self sabotage.
Speaker B:I've had clients who would do that exact thing.
Speaker B:I had a gal, Laurie, she would just have it going on and then miss one shot, get frustrated, angry, speak so negatively to herself.
Speaker B:And then she did this five day challenge with me called conquer your golf mind.
Speaker B:And later that year with the mindset shifts, she became club champion.
Speaker B:She didn't change anything else she was doing in terms of golf fitness or practicing or anything.
Speaker B:It was a shift in mindset.
Speaker B:She dropped her handicap by six.
Speaker B:And then she stopped getting so frustrated and angry, which causes adrenaline and cortisol, the stress hormone, and then tension in your body and it messes up your timing.
Speaker B:So this can happen fast.
Speaker B: lot faster than having to hit: Speaker A:Sure.
Speaker B:Get your mindset better so that you can play up to your potential, whatever that is right now.
Speaker A:Well, okay, we're going to take another break here.
Speaker A:We're going to be back with Debbie o'.
Speaker A:Connell.
Speaker A:Got more questions about the mind.
Speaker A:Imagine that.
Speaker A:We'll be right back.
Speaker A:Don't go away.
Speaker A:Hey, everybody, it's jt.
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Speaker A:Welcome back to Grilling at the Green.
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Speaker A:We're talking with Debbie O' Connell today.
Speaker A:Golf positive, Live positive.
Speaker A:When you, when you wrote that and when you work on that and you put together these programs for that, Debbie, do you yourself still ever have the doubt?
Speaker A:Do you have to work on it?
Speaker A:I don't want to say constantly, but.
Speaker A:And do you have little things you've taught yourself that you get out there and one of those evil little buggers creeps into your brain, one of those thoughts, and you go, okay, there, I can handle this.
Speaker A:And you, you know, dial up the response, so to speak?
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:And at a different level.
Speaker B:Okay, so when I, you know, it's that, that saying, if you're, if your goal doesn't scare you, it's not big enough.
Speaker B:So when I'm going for the next level is when I'll have some doubts or fears come in.
Speaker B:What my goal is for everyone is where their goal is now.
Speaker B:I want to help them release the old beliefs, you know, shift the belief that if you don't perform well, you won't belong.
Speaker B:You know, I had a client named Grant who had the Chipping Yip, and he had that underlying belief that if he failed, if he wasn't good enough, he wouldn't be invited to come back in the group.
Speaker B:People would suddenly not like him.
Speaker B:Now, that didn't come from golf.
Speaker B:That came from another belief.
Speaker B:Well, once we shifted that, that belief, we create a new empowering belief that I can be my authentic self and try my best and I'm welcomed and I belong and I am valued and worthy.
Speaker B:When he believed that, all of a sudden that belief is there.
Speaker B:Now.
Speaker B:When he strives to the next level, say he now is going for the club championship or he's going to qualify for usam.
Speaker B:Now there's another challenge.
Speaker B:So we might have other doubts come in.
Speaker B:So that's what I mean.
Speaker B:But we can shift to empowering beliefs.
Speaker B:Like my one client, Theresa, she came to my five day challenge after day one, she shot actually 14 shots better.
Speaker B:She'd been playing golf for a year.
Speaker B:Her lowest score ever was 104.
Speaker B:With a couple things she learned on that day one, she went out and shot 90 the second day.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker B:And said I was so much more relaxed than I'd ever been.
Speaker B:And hers was about belonging as well.
Speaker B:And once she realized, you know what, I belong out here and we helped to shift it, she went out and played.
Speaker B:And now she just, she shoots in the 90s consistently.
Speaker B:And she's talking now about, I'm going to start to shoot in the 80s.
Speaker B:But once she broke through, she always then has been shooting in the 90s.
Speaker B:She didn't have another score over 100 and, and she's 75 years old.
Speaker A:Oh, good for her.
Speaker A:Yeah, good for her.
Speaker A:I know that.
Speaker A:Debbie, Excuse me.
Speaker A:One thing that always kinds of kind of does.
Speaker A:It does.
Speaker A:It doesn't kind of.
Speaker A:It really does bother me when I'm playing with my friends or whatever that you see somebody in another group and they get very upset.
Speaker A:They get upset for a myriad of reasons.
Speaker A:Maybe it's a slow play on public golf courses.
Speaker A:It's kind of hard not to be subjected to that on certain days.
Speaker A:It's just there's a lot of golfers now, you know, but they are there.
Speaker A:They hit a shot or something or the, the girl in the bev cart didn't have Coors light.
Speaker A:She only had Miller lighters.
Speaker A:I mean, good God.
Speaker A:Who knows why they get upset.
Speaker A:But it's like you're supposed to be also having fun out here.
Speaker A:You know, you're not Tiger woods.
Speaker A:You know, you're not Shockly, you're not Nelly Corday.
Speaker A:You're not any of these.
Speaker A:You're just out here to have fun.
Speaker A:Yeah, you want to shoot a good score, but you're probably not a pro.
Speaker A:Have fun, don't get upset.
Speaker A:That's, that's kind of my thing because I gave up getting upset about this stuff a long time ago and my life got significantly better.
Speaker A:My golf game still sucks, but my life got better.
Speaker B:It's easier said than done.
Speaker B:Because of these beliefs.
Speaker B:If someone believes they have to be perfect to be valued.
Speaker B:When they hit a poor shot, they're going to be angry and mad at themselves.
Speaker B:They don't understand why consciously all those emotions just come up.
Speaker B:But I'm glad you brought up slow play or other things.
Speaker B:You can't control.
Speaker B:You can't control.
Speaker B:There's no Coors Light in the golf cart.
Speaker B:You can't control slow play.
Speaker B:When people blame slow play for a poor golf game, you listen carefully, everyone who gets upset and slow play, you disempower yourself.
Speaker B:Guess what happens the next time there's slow play.
Speaker B:Your brain, because you were so emotional and angry and frustrated last time and all you focused on was slow play, and then you said, oh, I had.
Speaker B:My temple was going great and slow play messed me up.
Speaker B:Guess what happens the next time your brain says, oh, slow play.
Speaker B:Oops, I guess we don't play well.
Speaker B:And then you'll go through the same cycle over and over and over.
Speaker B:So make sure you stop blaming your poor golf on things like slow play or the beverage car or the playing partner, because you're totally disempowering.
Speaker B:You.
Speaker B:You want to find solutions.
Speaker B:There's this whole concept I teach in my five day challenge called being in effect when you're affected by things or being in cause where you empower yourself and you find solutions.
Speaker B:Like Brittany Lincecombe.
Speaker B:She brings Sudoku puzzles on the course with her because she hates slow play.
Speaker B:So she distracts herself.
Speaker B:She finds something positive to do that she enjoys.
Speaker B:That keeps her in a good state of mind so that she never blames a bad score on slow play.
Speaker B:She says, I'm going to find something to do that helps me play as good or maybe even better.
Speaker B:When we come across slow play, the.
Speaker A:Only thing that really irritates me is people talking on their cell phones.
Speaker A:You know, that's something that can be remedied.
Speaker A:You know, you don't need.
Speaker A:If you want, you know, if, if you're waiting, if you're waiting in a tee box, you're waiting for your second shot or something, you get a message, text it back, put the phone back.
Speaker A:I don't really have a problem with that.
Speaker A:But I've also been behind people that are holding a news conference out there, you know, with their, with their cell phone and, and maybe they've got one of these little guys.
Speaker A:I don't know if you can see it here.
Speaker A:It's a little earpiece, you know, and they're, they're talking and they're doing this, and maybe they're is 15ft away and he's trying to prep for a shot.
Speaker A:But Bob here just keeps running his pie hole.
Speaker A:So, you know, that's, that's probably the only thing that can get me kind of fired up.
Speaker A:I don't, I mean, I don't Verbalize it or anything, but I just like, dude, you're on a golf course.
Speaker A:You know, have some manners.
Speaker A:Put the phone away, Enjoy the day.
Speaker B:And it's handling that situation by looking at, what can you control, Jeff, and what can't you control?
Speaker B:If you're going to take control the situation and say, hey, get his attention, go, be quiet, give him the sh sign, the universal sign for be quiet, then you're.
Speaker B:That's what you can control.
Speaker B:You've done it.
Speaker B:It's over.
Speaker B:If that person keeps talking now you got to let it go.
Speaker B:Or if you decide.
Speaker B:I'm not going to say anything.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:Okay, now I have to sing in my head.
Speaker B:I bet you can sing really well in your head.
Speaker B:I don't know if you can out outwardly, but in your head I'm sure we can all sing great.
Speaker B:Like sing a song, you know, do something.
Speaker B:Tell yourself a joke.
Speaker B:Bring a list of jokes.
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker B:Find a way.
Speaker B:Take some deep breaths.
Speaker B:I do a lot about breathing.
Speaker B:How can you breathe to get yourself in a calm, focused state of mind?
Speaker B:I also wrote a book, Jeff called about lowering your handicap through flow state golf.
Speaker B:Flow state is being in the zone.
Speaker B:So how can you get yourself back in the zone in that moment, you know, rather than staying frustrated for things on the outside?
Speaker A:Yeah, you know, Debbie, the other thing that I found works really well is a slingshot for people that annoy me.
Speaker B:You know, whatever works.
Speaker B:Like right in the butt, you get.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah, I'm a pretty good shot and I'm much better with weapons than I am with golf clubs.
Speaker A:But I'm just saying that it's, you know, a BB in the butt usually will make a shape up a little bit and, you know, maybe get their attention.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Sometimes there's an adverse reaction that you really don't want to see, but, you know, it happens.
Speaker A:It happens.
Speaker A:How can they find you?
Speaker A:How can people find you?
Speaker A:And we're going to talk more in after hours people, so don't worry about that.
Speaker B:Awesome.
Speaker B:Well, I am.
Speaker B:I am on YouTube, LinkedIn, Facebook and Instagram.
Speaker B:Look up Debbie O'.
Speaker B:Connell.
Speaker B:Look up Golf Positive.
Speaker B:I have my pages there.
Speaker B:My website is Debbie O' Connell.com but if I could, can I give everybody a gift?
Speaker B:I would love to give everyone my new Flow State book.
Speaker A:Sure.
Speaker B:It'll be really easy.
Speaker B: F L O W to this phone number,: Speaker B:Text the word flow to that number.
Speaker B:And you'll get a copy of my ebook.
Speaker B:And it gives you eight flow triggers to help you get into the zone.
Speaker B:Get into flow while you're.
Speaker B:While you're playing golf.
Speaker A:Is it Flo or flow?
Speaker B:Or flow.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Gotta make sure.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:I want to give everybody a gift for hanging out with us.
Speaker B:I love it.
Speaker A:We like free stuff.
Speaker A:We're going to take a break.
Speaker A:We're going to come back and wrap up the show with Debbie o'.
Speaker A:Connell.
Speaker A:This has been great.
Speaker A:We're going to continue on in after hours.
Speaker A:So you're listening to.
Speaker A:What's the name of the show?
Speaker A:Oh, yeah.
Speaker A:Grilling at the Green.
Speaker A:We'll be right back.
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Speaker A:Hey, everybody, J.T.
Speaker B:Here.
Speaker A:If you need something to practice with in the inclement weather, try Birdie ball.
Speaker A:Go to birdieball.com check out the actual Birdie Balls, their packages, their putting greens, which I happen to have a couple of those, and they work great.
Speaker A:Birdieball.com.
Speaker A:This is an encore.
Speaker A:Welcome back to grilling.
Speaker A:It's Green.
Speaker A:We're talking with Debbie o' Connell today.
Speaker A:First of all, I want to thank everybody for listening.
Speaker A:We're not leaving right this second.
Speaker A:But I always want to thank people for listening.
Speaker A:And I've had a really enjoyable time talking with Debbie today.
Speaker A:One of the things you're doing, I wanted to get this in the regular show, too.
Speaker A:You've got a Solheim cup extravaganza coming up, don't you?
Speaker B:I do, and it's a blast.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:And we need American fans to get there.
Speaker B:So come and join me.
Speaker B:I do have a few spots left.
Speaker B:We are going to be in Virginia this year, not far from Washington, dc.
Speaker B:Great place for the US Team to win the cup back for sure.
Speaker B:It's been three years.
Speaker B:Last year we tied them, but they had the cup, so they retained it, you know, so we need those fans.
Speaker B:But my extravaganza includes an opening dinner dance.
Speaker B:Like, Jeff, come on, bring your dance shoes.
Speaker B:Come and dance with with me.
Speaker B:We can two step, we can line dance.
Speaker B:Do whatever you like.
Speaker B:So it's an opening dinner dance and then I have my own golf positive cup.
Speaker B:A really fun match Play event.
Speaker B:I divide in two teams, Team America and Team usa.
Speaker B:Then we.
Speaker B:I take care of all the arrangements for the Solheim cup, the transportation to and from all the tickets, and I get pavilion tickets for everyone.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:It's a great.
Speaker B:If you've never been to a Solheim cup or Ryder Cup, I highly recommend it.
Speaker B:And the Solheim cup has fewer fans, so you can get more.
Speaker B:Closer to the players.
Speaker B:You can be more.
Speaker B:It's more intimate.
Speaker B:I have.
Speaker B:I haven't been to a Ryder cup during the competition.
Speaker B:I was there on a Wednesday.
Speaker B:It was packed on practice round day, and I was like, wow, I wouldn't want to be there.
Speaker B:That's just me, that crowd.
Speaker B:I want to see all the shots.
Speaker B:You can do that at a Solheim Cup.
Speaker B:It's a great event.
Speaker B:I have a closing dinner, then it's really a fun week.
Speaker B:If you've never been, I highly recommend it.
Speaker B:It's like being at a football game, the Olympics, and a golf tournament all in.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker B:It's great.
Speaker B:This game is great.
Speaker B:And you know what?
Speaker B:I love to watch.
Speaker B:And I think everyone would agree it's such a mental game.
Speaker B:We'd all agree that golf's a mental game.
Speaker B:But then, Jeff, I ask everybody, well, how much time do you spend on your mental game?
Speaker B:And it's very little or none for so many golfers.
Speaker B:And you can see those challenges on tour.
Speaker B:Wyndham Clark.
Speaker B:If you're watching Netflix, the second season, I think episode three was called Mind Game.
Speaker B:It really compares Joel Damon and Windham Clark and how well Windham Clark did in six months working with a sports psychologist.
Speaker B:It's so powerful, this game.
Speaker B:And you see that pros struggling until they shift their mindset.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:That's the key for everyone, I think, to get the most enjoyment out of this game and get the most out of their skills.
Speaker A:Debbie, I'll tell you this.
Speaker A:I play because of this show and some other stuff.
Speaker A:Excuse me.
Speaker A:I get invited to play in a number of scrambles every year to raise money for things, and I.
Speaker A:And I love it.
Speaker A:And I've got a.
Speaker A:A team of henchmen that I play with all the time.
Speaker A:We've been playing together for a number of years, and it's all fun and all that.
Speaker A:I decided to try something because I knew you were coming on the show.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:I.
Speaker A:We.
Speaker A:We.
Speaker A:We've had this plan for, like, five weeks now, folks.
Speaker A:I worked on my brain and about my brain and some breathing before I hit a shot and the way I envisioned a shot and two of the guys I play with that were still sober enough to talk at the end of the day, they both said, that's the best you've struck the ball in a long time.
Speaker A:Okay, now I know Captain Jack's pitch and putt down the street here they.
Speaker A:I'm.
Speaker A:I'm on their hall of Shame on the wall.
Speaker A:But seriously, I did that to see if it would work.
Speaker A:And it did.
Speaker A:It does work.
Speaker A:So there you go.
Speaker B:There you go.
Speaker B:And that you just made a couple shifts.
Speaker B:So imagine making conscious mind level shifts like that, learning those routines and the visualization, the breathing exercises that help you get into focus and triggers for flow state, which is the ultimate present moment.
Speaker B:Tiger woods talked about being in flow by saying when he hit some of his best shots ever, he actually doesn't remember hitting the shot.
Speaker B:He remembers choosing his club and then he remembers watching it fly to the target.
Speaker B:He said, I don't consciously remember what I did in between.
Speaker B:That's the ultimate macro flow.
Speaker B:There are different levels and I help people with those triggers.
Speaker B:And part of being in flow is losing your self consciousness.
Speaker B:And that's the unconscious mind work that I love to do with people.
Speaker B:Because not only does it change their golf game, Jeff, it changes their lives, which is what is so fun for me to watch.
Speaker A:I think I did that in college.
Speaker A:Yeah, I think I did that.
Speaker B:You lost your self consciousness.
Speaker A:Yeah, I lost a lot.
Speaker B:You lost yourself.
Speaker A:Yeah, I survived, I'll say that.
Speaker A:Free stuff.
Speaker A:Debbie o'.
Speaker A:Connell.
Speaker A:Debbie and I are going to do After Hours, but thank you, my dear.
Speaker A:This has been great.
Speaker A:You will become a regular on the show if you'll have us.
Speaker A:And it's been very entertaining and inspirational, actually.
Speaker B:I am so glad to hear that.
Speaker B:I would love to come back.
Speaker B:Jeff, you're not bad to hang out with one day.
Speaker B:I want to be next to you when you're grilling so I can get some good food to too.
Speaker A:Oh, well, that we can make that happen.
Speaker A:Anyway, we got to get out of here.
Speaker A:We'll be back next week with another edition of Grilling at the Green.
Speaker A:Stick around for after hours.
Speaker A:Do what we say out there.
Speaker A:Go out, play some golf, have some fun, take care, and most of all, be kind.
Speaker A:See you later, everybody.
Speaker A:Grilling at the Green is produced by JTSD Productions, LLC in association with Salem Media Group.
Speaker A:All rights reserved.
