In this deeply personal episode of Conversations with Kate, I open up about a season that forever changed my life—losing eight people in a matter of months, including my mother and brother. Rather than focusing solely on the pain, this conversation centers on what grief unexpectedly taught me grace: grace for myself, grace for others, and grace in the moments where life is imperfect.

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Conversations with Kate is like a conversation with your friend, hairstylist or therapist, where we will talk about music, life stories and everything in between with interviews and guests sprinkled in. As an LCC student, it's an honor and I love bringing a fresh perspective to the podcast menu on LCC Connect. I am your host, Kate. Let's get into this episode.

And that was also ended by the death of my mother and then my younger brother. And it was definitely a lot. But also I know the sting was there. More so with my brother passing away on December 22nd.

And it's okay that there is a little bit of weight and heaviness to that situation.

Going back to the lesson, the carrying grace forward through the rest of my life, it definitely having all of those people pass away and then my mother pass away and then my brother pass away, have this exponentially more forgiving and more present view of grace, giving people grace for whatever emotions they're going through, however they're behaving and however they're processing thing because we're all human. We're literally here going through this human experience.

And I didn't really think, I thought I had a pretty good grasp on how people are and the life view and that type of thing. And the.

Then it wasn't until after my mother passed away that I was like, oh, okay, now I just have that deeper, deeper understanding of having grace for people and situations and myself. It just has made life a little more, believe it or not, effortless to go through because it's not always silver lining, rainbows and sparkly stuff.

I've learned not to focus on a tragedy, but to more explore the unexpected grace, compassion and clarity that came from it. Which is a really nice lesson to have in my tool belt now, specifically, what it revealed about being human, that grief is an equalizer.

It literally strips life down to the essentials and reshapes priorities.

The surprising places that I found strength, that I've watched people go through things, which again, it just gives me that little bit more bit of grace for other people as they go through things and just like, okay, what can I do to help support you through whatever it is that you're going through? And again, grief truly is the great equalizer. It really exposes what is the most important. Going through all of this.

It definitely gave me more grace for myself that I just, I don't follow a timeline anymore. I'm not super strict on, you know, if I, if I, you know, miss this thing or that thing or. It's more of a fluid way through life now.

Where before it was like, everything had to be just so and everything had to be perfect and regimented and very rigid.

Where now it's just like, oh, okay, you know, being okay with not being okay, but also with things not being in a straight line and not happening the way that, you know, I pre planned them. Which, again, being a Taurus and being someone who has add regiment and perfection and patterns and all of that is super duper important to me.

So I really am thankful that I now have this. This immense grace for myself. So not to be perfect. And that's okay. Stumbling is all right.

Just kind of like that saying goes, like, just kind of make it part of the, you know, dance or part of the walk. I definitely feel now that grace for myself. I am way more resilient and I see the resilience in other people as well.

I love seeing the messiness in things where I used to be super duper OCD when I was younger and even prior to this past year, so much so as, like, you know, don't get me wrong, I still. I still like to.

To do my cleaning on a certain day and that type of thing, but there's just much more grace for myself if I don't get it done on Sunday, first thing in the morning, and if there's not the vacuum lines in the carpet, I definitely have a lot more grace for others. How specifically?

The grace has softened my expectation of other people that whether they're going through something really terrible like the loss of a human being in their lives, or they're just going through a stressful time, they have anxiety, they have depression. Softened me in a way and given me that. That grace for other people in that way as well.

I understand that everyone is carrying something that's unseen, like we talked about in a previous podcast. There's so much more grace for understanding that it means a completely different thing.

And I realize that and have compassion for matters that are more than we can talk about. And I have a little bit more grace for that.

Not a little bit, a whole bunch more grace for other people that sometimes there's just not really anything that you can say or do. And you kind of just have to be there for people and understand that sometimes it's gonna be messy and that's okay. And I really, again, I just.

That was my lesson, is that the Grace that I have for other people, even in the community.

There were some things that happened in my community recently where in years past I would have felt some type of way about the way that the community and people had reacted. And with this thing that happened, it was more of just like, I understand. I understand why people reacted the way that they did.

And again, I just can't reiterate enough the sentiment that it has just made the tough stuff easier to get through and to watch people go through and to be supportive of people. Again, the grace, the word grace for myself and grace for every situation, and patience. It's an amazing shift in perspective.

Specifically, what losing my mom taught me was that you don't know when things are gonna happen. Like, we knew that she was in the hospital.

We knew that she was, you know, not in the best of health, but she also had a great perspective from the doctor of here, you're gonna. You're gonna get better. And she didn't, unfortunately. But same thing with my brother. He was like, okay, this is one thing that's going on.

We're gonna make it through. And then he did not. Again, both of those situations taught me that you never know.

So make sure that you leave every single person that you care about, that you love with a great exchange.

And even if you're having a tough conversation, give the other person and yourself enough grace in that situation to be like, okay, I know that this tough conversation had to happen, but I love you so much, and I can't wait to see you again. So that is one thing that those. Both of the deaths of my mother and my brother have taught me is that memories are what matter.

And telling those people that you love is what matters. And that that huge shift in perspective, my sense of what truly matters definitely changed.

It shifted from being perfect and achieving, achieving, achieving, achieving, to having so much more grace for every situation that we go through as human beings.

Enjoying and savoring every situation that we go through as human beings, and giving every single person grace as they go through every single situation that they go through, whether it is an elated celebration or a tough stuff type of thing. I definitely say no way more freely. I say I love you more often, and I savor small moments way more every single day now.

Conversations with important people. The clients that I have, the friends that I have, the family that I have, make it a point to connect with all of those people.

And again, just savor those special little moments, Even if it's something as simple as, like, for instance, my friend Victoria started doing a once a month get together where we all go to her house and have dinner and it's a bunch of different people from her life that she invited to these things. And I'm really looking forward to the next one. I'm recording this in February, so the next one is a chili cook off.

But yeah, so just enjoying that connection and savoring those little small everyday moments. I also go like at least once a week with her and do yoga in the morning for about 30 minutes.

So that's another thing that I savor, have a renewed sense of desire to connect deeply, more deeply with people. Like for instance, my daughter and I, we flitted off to Miami for about 36 hours to just have a mom and daughter moment and it was so great.

We literally flew in on a Friday night, got there late Friday night, early Thursday, I mean early Saturday morning, spent the day shopping at Lincoln Road Mall, went to the beach and then spent the rest of the evening by the pool and then got up and flew home to Michigan. Some ways that this has altered my DNA, given me grace as spaciousness, allowing life to be imperfect. Grace as acceptance.

I realize I have to release what I can't control. And man, that lesson right there was important and I'm glad for it. Grace as connection, recognizing how relationships carry us through the darkness.

And grace as softness, speaking more kindly to myself and others. I do have an invitation for you guys to reflect on where are you finding grace right now? Who do you need to extend softness to, including yourself.

I just want to give you gentle encouragement. Healing isn't linear and having grace isn't always easy. But that connection helps.

Thank you so much for listening to this episode about the shift in perspective that I had on giving myself and everyone in every situation grace.

Thanks for listening to this episode of Conversations with Kate. You can find more information on LCC Connect's site as well as all social platforms, Facebook, Instagram, yes, TikTok as well. Big love.