In this episode of Do This, Not That, host Jay Schwedelson interviews Maha Abouelenein, author of the bestselling book "7 Rules of Self Reliance". They discuss the importance of self-reliance in personal and professional development, how to overcome self-doubt, and the value of building a strong reputation.

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Best Moments:

(01:27) Introduction of Maha Abouelenein and her bestselling book

(04:57) How to start practicing self-reliance in your career

(06:35) The importance of taking initiative and offering value

(09:32) Overcoming imposter syndrome and self-doubt

(12:47) The concept of "launch and iterate" in personal growth

(15:55) The importance of building and managing your reputation

(18:59) Information on how to get Maha's book and connect with her

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Guest Bio:

Maha Abouelenein is a professional storyteller with a 30-year career in business and 20 years as an entrepreneur. She has worked for major companies like Google and Netflix, opening offices around the world. Maha is the author of the USA Today and Amazon bestseller "7 Rules of Self Reliance". Born and raised in Minnesota to Egyptian parents, she has lived half her life in the US and the other half in Egypt and Dubai. Maha specializes in communications, personal branding, and corporate storytelling for high-net-worth individuals and government officials.

Maha's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/maha-abouelenein/

Maha's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mahagaber/

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Foreign.

Welcome to do this not that, the podcast for marketers. You'll walk away from each episode with actionable tips you can test immediately.

You'll hear from the best minds in marketing who will share tactics, quick wins and pitfalls to avoid. Also dig into life, pop culture and the chaos that is our everyday. I'm Jay Schwedelson. Let's do this, not that.

We are back for do this, not that. And we have, we have a real deal guest today. You know, sometimes we have guests are like ah, whatever. No, we got like a special one. We have.

Okay, who do we have? We have Maha Abu Elain who is the incredible author of a book called Seven Rules of Self Reliance. It is a USA Today bestseller and Amazon bestseller.

This thing is dominating the charts.

And Maha is not just an author about this topic that we're going to dig into, but she used to work at Google and Netflix and she had this business digital and savvy that opened up offices all around the world.

She has had such incredible career and experiences and this book is really so helpful and impactful to allowing people to be able to rely on themselves, invest in themselves. We're going to dig into them. So excited. Maha, welcome to the show.

Jay, thank you for having me.

This is going to be fun. So. So before we get into how we can like almost invest in ourselves, I want to know you invest in yourself. How did Maha, what is this journey?

How did you become who you are?

So I'm 100% Egyptian born, raised in Minnesota. I have, I'm a professional storyteller.

I've been doing communications and telling, finding people's narratives, building people's personal brands, telling corporate stories, then personal brands for some high net worth individuals and some government officials. I love a good narrative and a good story. I have a 30 year career in business, 20 years as an entrepreneur.

I had a full time, two full time jobs in my life working at Google as head of communications and public policy and working at General Mills where I did sports marketing for some of the biggest brands in the world. The Cheerios, the Betty Crockers, the Pop Secret, Popcorn, all the brands that you know and love. But I'm really an entrepreneur. I have an office.

Wow, that sounds cool. You're so cool. It sounds cool. So let me ask something. I'm curious.

So you've had all these experiences and then you took a pause, like, all right, now I'm going to write a book. And how did you land on the concept of this book?

Like, why did this topic, out of all the things that you could have written about, why this topic, the seven rules of self reliance.

Yeah, it's such a great question. Self reliance wasn't something that I thought about.

Like, I wasn't going to like, oh, I'm going to write a book about self reliance and teach people to tools that they need to navigate today's world or tomorrow's world. I really thought about my career.

I reflected something that we rarely just sit back and do is like, if I were to take a step back instead of looking at my different jobs, if I look at it holistically, like as a career, what were some defining moments throughout my career? What were some of the things that I really kept on facing? And what lessons would there be in those lessons that could help other people?

And I, I realized it was self reliance. Like, my back is up at the wall, getting asked to write the speech for the prime minister. How am I figure out I'm going to rely on myself?

My parents, my mom had ms, my dad had als, Lou Gehrig's disease, making all their medical decisions while trying to find myself and build my career. How am I going to get through it? I got to rely on myself.

I want to learn how to network with some of the biggest names and brands and businesses because I want to work with the big, big names. How am I going to get in the door? I got to rely on myself to build the right relationships.

And when I get a client and I want to keep it for five, 10 years, how do I keep my client? I bring value to them and I have to rely on myself to know how to do that.

So that was the through line was self reliance is something that I think people can learn how to master. And it's not about not wanting to work with other people or relying on other people.

It's about being powerful first, investing in yourself first, being on your front foot first, and then go outward to meet other people, bring in your network, build your reputation, create value for others.

So how, okay, so now I'm a, I'm a young marketing manager listening to this episode. I'm like, okay, well how do I do that? How do I step it up in a meeting? Or how do I get move forward?

Like, how do you get started with this idea of self reliance?

Yeah, there's so Many. There's so many tools and rules obviously in the book that I share. But here's the first one.

If you're a marketing manager and you're in your agency or you work for a company, your marketing manager, ask your employer or ask team members or ask your manager, how can I help? What is something you can do to step up to bring value to them? What are some of their pain points?

What are some of the things that they're, they're dreaming about doing but they haven't found someone to go spend time on cracking it or figuring it out. What's an opportunity that they'd like to explore but no one has the time or effort to go do that? Is that something you can take up, step up to do?

So the first thing is think about where you can add value to your, your organization, your team, your colleagues or your manager. The second thing is if you're in marketing, you better be curious. You gotta be curious about the world around you.

You gotta be curious about what's happening in the market, how is AI changing everything we're doing? What are some of the disruptions that are happening in culture? Being in marketing means you gotta be the pulse of what's now and what's next.

And one of the rules of self reliance is being a lifelong learner. So not expecting your agency to invest in you and train you and teach you things.

You got access to the Internet, you gotta just be curious and go get it.

You know, what you just said is so simple and I think is so not done enough.

Where a lot of people are in their jobs and their careers and they're waiting be told what their responsibility is or what, you know, they, you know, you do this, somebody tells them you do this. But it's so rare for somebody to raise their hand saying how could I do more? Can I help with this? I think I might also be good at this.

I mean, is that really a big part of it? Just making people aware.

Yeah.

That you want the opportunity.

That's self reliance in a nutshell. What can you step up to bring value to?

What can you step up to Step into what can you step up to create for somebody else that they didn't even know they needed, let alone wanted? I don't have to wait for my manager to give me a brief. I'm going to go say, hey, I really want to work on this.

Is that something I can spend some time kind of figuring it out? Nine times out of 10 they're going to say, yes, you want to bring value to the business without us asking you to do that.

I'm going to sign up for that. And those are the people that are going to get promoted. Those are the people that are going to get the bigger projects.

Those are the people that are going to learn once they learn.

The essence of self reliance is about being a driver of your career and your ambitions and your dreams and not waiting for someone to bring it to you or not expecting someone to bring it to you. I'm holding my hands up like I'm giving you a platter. That's what self reliance is about.

It's about that method of I can take the first step in order to get the next step.

And you know, it was interesting when you told your story.

There was a number of self reliant examples where you were sort of forced into it, where you had, you know, family health issues or different things, your back's up against the wall and you got to step it up. You have to. You have no choice, right? But I think sometimes people in their personal lives, they step it up because they have to.

Then they put on their work hat and they're not stepping it up the same way they do in their personal lives. Is that a hard, you know, b thing to like, be like, yeah, I'm going to cross over and do it in all aspects of my life.

It works. It just works. Jay, like, I'm just telling you, like thinking about, you know, one of the rules of the book is don't be a waiter.

So many, so many times in my life, I was waiting. I was waiting for someone to give me that opportunity. I was waiting for someone to give me that project that was going to make me a rock star.

I was waiting for things to come to me or things to happen to me. And then somebody knocked me on the head and had this conversation with me. And then he was like, you know, you can go create that.

And I'm like, oh, but I don't have the skills or experience. He's like, well, can't you go get the skills and experience? Like, it's, it's about the matter of effort that you're willing to take.

If you really want to knock down that door, do you have the, you know, the gumption and like the initiative to start, you know, say, okay, I'm going to start knocking. I'm not going to wait for someone to open it for me. And that's what I mean by self reliance.

It's about not just taking initiative and investing in yourself, but be valuable to other people because you're the person that's being proactive. You're the person that's trying to learn. You're the person that's trying to bring value. You're the person that's bringing relationships to the table.

That's the essence of what self reliance is all about.

So I would imagine that as you go down this path, somebody's listening, like, all right, cool. I'm gonna step it up. I like this idea. I'm not gonna be a waiter. Nothing wrong with buying waiting tables. But you're not being a waiter. Life. Right.

And they're like. But I kind of feel like, you know, you got the imposter syndrome thing going on.

Like, am I really qualified to step up in the areas that I want to step up in? Is how do you overcome that internal feeling of, I don't know what I'm talking about?

Yeah. So those limiting beliefs are holding you back.

Yeah.

And you're judging yourself more than other people are judging you, and you're overthinking everything Most of the time. I'm talking from my experience that I know so many people listening to this are in that situation where, like, they. They're in their own way.

Like, they're like, I don't know if I can do that. And I had a lot of times in my life where someone asked me to do something.

I'm like, well, if he believes I can do it, why don't I believe I can do it? So having a sense of self worth, self confidence, self belief, sometimes it's just about getting the reps in. Like, can I just try it once?

Let me put myself out there once and see if I gain confidence. And then you do. And then you're like, oh, I didn't know I could do that.

But the only reason you didn't know you could do that is because you were never asked to do it. Yet you're capable more than you think you really are. That's what I learned. And I. I have no special superpowers. I don't have any crazy degree.

I don't have a rich family backing me up. I am. I'm. I had every card against me, and I was like, huh?

What if I could be the person that made the difference in my life instead of hoping other people made that difference for me?

I think I need to steal the. I'm judging myself more than other people are judging me. That is like, boom. That's, like. Kind of like blows your mind, I think, because it's so true.

But I have a question. Related to you specifically. So you just wrote this book, It's a bestseller. It's your first book?

Yes.

Now if I'm sitting down, I'm like, I'm gonna write a book. I've never written a book. Instantly I'd be like, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I shouldn't be writing a book. Did you yourself?

I didn't know that self reliance thing.

Like 100% J. I have never written a book before. But you know what I know I can do? I can put in effort, I can ask a lot of people.

What does it take to write a book? Well, you need these marketing things.

You need to do reviews, you need to have newsletters, you need to have campaigns, you need to have pre order incentives, you need to do groups. I asked, what is the formula for people who have written successful books and marketed them properly? I asked a lot of people.

I sat with Gary Vee, I sat with Adam Grant. I sat with a lot of people, like, can you give me free advice on what you, what worked for you and what didn't work for you?

And I asked my publisher and I asked Scott, I asked a lot of people.

And then I was like, okay, now if I want to be good at this, and I've never done it before, I've never written a book, I'm three weeks old as an author, I'm going to have to outwork everybody else. I'm going to have to put in some effort. And you know, Laura on my team, she's like, you know, most people just do four things. You did 10 things.

I'm like, because I don't want to regret not trying to. I want to know where my boundaries are, where my limits are. Like, I want to know how much stamina do I have?

Like, is it something I'm completely going to fail at? Because I never knew, like what, what, what the market was. I don't know.

But I was going to put in the effort and I was going to put in the hard work so that I would have no regrets when this whole process is over that I didn't make an effort. And one of the rules in the book is not having regrets. Like, do something so that you don't wonder what a shoulda coulda.

I wonder if I would have done this. I wonder if I should have started that business. I wonder if I should have pitched that idea for that marketing campaign. Just try it.

You only learn by trying. That's why the biggest tech companies in the world, I worked for Google I worked for Netflix. That's why they have that concept of launch and iterate.

Launch your product, put it out in the world, let people tinker with it, let people give you feedback. Otherwise you never know. If you just wait until everything's perfect and you're waiting, you're never going to start.

And the message that I, I love when I. When I talk about this book and I talk about the principles of this book, if not me, who, like, why is somebody else more capable than me?

I have the same access. They have access. And if not now, when? Because what are you waiting for? When is there going to be the right time? When I lose more weight?

When I have more money in my bank account? When I have more networks, in my relationships? When I have a better reputation? When I have a better job? When I have a better job title?

There's never going to be the right time. Take that step.

Oh, this is exciting. I feel, I feel the energy. And, you know, I agree. I think regret is worse than failure. And I would rather fail a thousand times and have no success.

Although it would be nice to have one or two rather than never having tried at all. It's hard. So. But have you had failures or is everything 100 win all the time?

100. No, I've been fired from jobs, I tell you. I mean, I've been fired from. I've been fired from several jobs. I have lost clients.

I've had to close down business. I've had to do all kinds of, like. Of course I've failed nobody. Everybody has this. Ebbs and flows, peaks and valleys.

Nobody's life is up and to the right. Nobody's. It doesn't come without hardship. It doesn't come without economic setbacks. It doesn't come without Covid. Everybody has it.

It's just, how do you react to it? How do you manage it, you know?

And if you rely on yourself to have strong reputation and strong relationships, you'll get through those peaks and valleys much easier because you decided to hold some cards in your hands. And those cards are relationships, skills, experience, and what's between your two ears, your knowledge. If you.

My dad told me this, he's like, if you are smart and invest in knowing things, everyone can take a lot of things away from you, but they can't take away what's in here. And so that resonated with me, like, if I can just learn things, I don't want to be left behind, Jay, because I don't know things, right?

So if I can be really a savant about learning. And you know what? Access to the Internet is free. It used to be where you went to school dictated who you became in the world. That's not true anymore.

You just need an Internet connection and a sense of curiosity, and you're capable of doing anything. If I wanted to quit my job today and start a whole new career, I could. If I had time to sit on the Internet and learn new skills, anybody can.

So let me ask you this. The book is Seven Rules of Self Reliance, right? So give me your favorite rule in the book. I want to know.

You're like, all right, well, I'm starting this book. I got this one. This is my absolute favorite. What is the favorite rule of self reliance? Clients.

Easy. So if you build a strong reputation and name for yourself, a lot of opportunities can come to you. So rely on yourself to build your reputation.

Don't allow other people to build it for you. So a lot of people think, I have a reputation, Maha, but I can't manage it or control it. You're you 100 manage and control it.

Everything you say and do develops and builds your reputation. How you treat the barista, your colleagues, your team members, your clients, your managers, your neighbors, your community, your family.

That's your reputation. All good things come when you have a strong reputation because it means you're good with connecting with people. That means that people trust you.

That means you can build good relationships. That means you know how to bring value to other people because you bring value to yourself first.

The essence of understanding the importance of your reputation or your personal brand has never been more important. Never been more important.

So I feel like you should learn, if you work at a company, you should learn how to build your reputation so you get the projects you want, so you can get that promotion that you want, so you can move up financially on that ladder that you want. Are you a collaborator? Team player, resourceful, creative, you know, good listener? Are you, you know, proactive?

Like, what are the words that describe you? That's your reputation at work.

And if you're an entrepreneur in the marketing world, you need to have a good reputation to attract talent, to attract investors, to attract partners. It is your bread and butter. And I call this chapter that your reputation is your currency. I want you to think of it like currency. What's it worth?

What's its value? I think it's essential. And so I feel it's my favorite chapter. Because if you do that, you drive your reputation. Everything else can come to you.

Switching jobs, switching careers, building a business.

Everything you Know a lot of people in the world now we talk about personal brand, how many followers you have here, all this other nonsense. But really at the core of it, your personal brand is your reputation.

Yeah.

And I. I love the saying of, you know, your reputation is what people say about you when you're not in the room.

And that's really, you know, that's what gets at the core of what you're talking about. And that's a powerful message about focusing on your reputation.

Yeah. Take out the word personal brand and replace it with reputation.

Because I think a lot of people, like you said, like, when they hear personal brand, they're like, well, I'm not a social media influencer. I don't need to have a brand. I'm not a company. I. I want you to think about it in terms of reputation, like, especially cancel culture. Deepfakes. AI.

Yeah.

I can guarantee you if you're not doing it, somebody's doing it for you, Jay. And it's not what you want. It's that simple.

This is awesome. All right, listen, everybody needs to go and get Maha's book. This is not like, oh, she had wrote a book you should check out.

No, you need to go get it because it could change your personal life, your career, the seven rules of self reliance. You can find it everywhere. But Maha, tell us more. How do people get involved in your world where they connect with you? All of it. Tell us everything.

Okay, so the book is available on Amazon today. There's hardcover, there's audible version if you like listening to audiobooks. I recorded myself, so grab a copy of the book. I do want to say Jay at.

In every chapter, there's reflection exercises and there's like a cheat sheet because I want people to take these rules and put them to work. And they do work. It's that this is lived experience. This isn't theoretical ideas that are putting together in a book. So that's the first thing.

Second thing is I have a newsletter. Go to my website, join my community on my newsletter.

I have a separate LinkedIn newsletter where I talk about different topics and you can follow me on Instagram. It's my first name, last name, and I really love seeing. I'll tell you a story.

This guy, I was on a plane and there was a gentleman that got up in front of me. He was. We were leaving the flight, he was sitting in the row in front of me, and he stood up and, you know, people read books on planes and he.

He was packing his book in his suitcase and it was my book. And he had read it for four hours on the four hour flight from Chicago to Miami and he had it like all tabbed and underlined.

And I said, oh, is that a good book? And then he's like, yeah. And I said, I'm the author.

But you know what I loved about it is seeing when people tag me on, like they're underlining and they're really taking it and putting it to work. And I really want to create value for other people. It's one of my core principles. It's one of the rules of the book.

I want people to get value from this. I want it to be practical. I want things that they can take and put into motion in their own lives.

Well, this has been a special episode and this book is special. I understand why it's a bestseller everywhere. We're going to put everything in the show notes.

You guys have access to everything and you can, you know, follow and connect with Maha everywhere. And I just want to thank you for being here and putting out all this greatness into the planet. So thank you, Ma.

Thank you, Jay.

You did it.

You made it to the end. Nice. But the party's not over.

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