Episode Summary

In this episode, Ian and Andrew shared their stories of coping with anxiety and how they overcame it with the help of a coach.

• Realise the value of self-love and the impact of society norms. 
• Learn the importance of what not to do by making errors and experiencing setbacks that will bring you to your desired conclusion. 
• Master the skill of having faith in your coach's method.

Heal your unresolved and unknown grief: https://www.ianhawkinscoaching.com/thegriefcode

About the Guest:

Andrew Pearce works as a Stress & Performance Mentor with almost 10 years experience in the coaching space. With studies across human behaviour, consciousness, ego, spirituality, and shadow work, Andrew helps his clients to access deep states of rest, regeneration, and inner-peace without needing to stop doing business so that they can keep their performance and results at a high level.

Link/s:

www.andrewdpearce.com

Instagram - @andrewpearce89

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/andrew.pearce.5496/

About the Host:

Ian Hawkins is the Founder and Host of The Grief Code. Dealing with grief firsthand with the passing of his father back in 2005 planted the seed in Ian to discover what personal freedom and legacy truly are. This experience was the start of his journey to healing the unresolved and unknown grief that was negatively impacting every area of his life. Leaning into his own intuition led him to leave corporate and follow his purpose of creating connections for himself and others. 

The Grief Code is a divinely guided process that enables every living person to uncover their unresolved and unknown grief and dramatically change their lives and the lives of those they love. Thousands of people have now moved from loss to light following this exact process. 

Check Me Out On:

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LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ianhawkinscoaching/ 

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I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Coach podcast, thank you so much for listening. 

Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. 

If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief, let's chat. Email me at info@ianhawkinscoaching.com. 

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Ian Hawkins

Are you ready, ready to release internal pain to find confidence, clarity and direction for your future, to live a life of meaning, fulfillment and contribution to trust your intuition again, but something's been holding you back. You've come to the right place. Welcome. I'm a Ian Hawkins, the host and founder of The Grief Code podcast. Together, let's heal your unresolved or unknown grief by unlocking your grief code. As you tune into each episode, you will receive insight into your own grief, how to eliminate it and what to do next. Before we start by one request. If any new insights or awareness land with you during this episode, please send me an email at info at the Ian Hawkins coaching.com. And let me know what you found. I know the power of this word, I love to hear the impact these conversations have. Okay, let's get into it. You've ever grappled with failure, judgment from others anxiety, one of those patterns that come from quite a young age and you gotta love this episode with Andrew Pierce. It's like a backpedaling through his life from all the different scenarios it was really cool actually hadn't done one like that before, starting with the struggles in his business where he basically went into debt, just to get by, and continue the business going and continue into live where he's living, not having to move back home with his parents and how he managed to learn so much through that time. And it's often in our darkest times that we do so much learning and what he learned about being able to detach from the outcomes of the future, to be able to deal with whatever blocks were going on, and then learn to be able to manifest everything he needed. To not just make his business a success, but to make his life successful. Enjoy this, you're going to get a heap about bringing more of what you want into your life and being able to remove the resistance that might be stopping that from happening. Welcome this week's guest Andrew piers how I Andrew.

Unknown Speaker

Good. Thank you, Ian, how are you?

Ian Hawkins

Very well. Thank you. You're you you're in Bali now. Right?

Speaker 1

Yes, correct in and out living in Bali. Yeah, nice.

Ian Hawkins

For the longtime listeners, I've shared a couple of my experiences in Bali, what has been the most profound experience you've had while you've been living there in Bali.

Speaker 1

Ian Hawkins

Yeah, I love that. And the other thing that comes to mind is that it comes at a cost, right? The push in there, and the force is always going to come to a cost either for you or for the people around you.

Speaker 1

Ian Hawkins

that's, that's a powerful thought. Right? There is like, if you've already thinking it, then there's part of you that already believes that to be true. That's a That's a good one. So yeah. I'll let you continue. Because because those that that's resonating with, they're going to be like, Okay, that's great. But how do I come out the other side?

Speaker 1

Yeah, totally. And just to add to that insight, it's a thing that I've called crafted called Future fears. If you're fearing it, you're feeling it. So if ever someone goes on just wondering if I'm doing the wrong thing, it's because they feel like they're doing the wrong thing. Yeah. Or if someone's not taking action, and they, and they say, I don't want to do that, because I don't want to feel like an idiot. It's like you already feel like an idiot. That's just how crafty and how good the ego is at its job. It goes nuts, not feeling it now projected out into the future, and fears it instead of feeling it. Yeah, it's so insightful. It's so quick. And it just takes you to exactly where you need to be in your plan.

Ian Hawkins

And that projection brings with it the attraction to external results that prove your belief. Yes.

Unknown Speaker

Yeah. Life might

Ian Hawkins

take like.

Speaker 1

So what really helped me throughout the process was I know how to be with emotion and release that and I've got the willingness and the honesty to confront those parts of myself. And something that really helped was the the willingness to fail, like, I was like, it would suck, it would suck to either have to ask, because I borrowed money off mom and dad before, it was suck, to have to ask for some more. Or, and, or it would suck to have to ask for some cash to buy a ticket to go home. And then to actually go home. And then to get a job. Yet, I just knew, I'm like that was suck, and I most certainly do not want to do it. Yet. I knew at the time, I know that I can handle those emotions, I can handle the shame, I can handle the embarrassment, I can handle the insecurity. And I'm willing to do that, if that's what it takes. And I'm in this for the long game, this is would just be part of the process, I would get a job, I'd make some money. And I would keep going with the business until I got to a point that I could get a ticket, take myself back to the valley to where I want to be. And so throughout the process, despite the fact that the external world didn't seem to be working, in terms of reflecting back my internal efforts, I kept through the practice of surrender, just cultivating a deeper and deeper connection to a felt sense of, of inner peace and a trust of that inner peace. And it just like, you know, in a way a defiant, stubborn willingness and commitment to that. You know, even if I had my doubts of Will this work or not, I was like I'm sticking with it. And so one of the insights that I teach around emotional release, which is which changes the way that you relate to fear, which is really very important. One of my core teachings is addressing the fear of fear. You know, you can have a fear of fear and be an addict on the street, or a multimillionaire see or in the office. Either way, if there's a strong fear of fear, and a lack of one's ability to be with themselves, we're going to dysfunction the distract some people distracted a more functional or successful way, let's say than others. It's still coming from the fear of fear. And so what helps me through this time, when doubts, insecurities, I'm a loser, I can't get it together. Uncertainty was coming up is is what's coming up is coming up to leave. What happens is when something like that comes up in our body, it feels like it's coming up to happen, to actualize to ruin our efforts to manifest. And so what do we do when it feels that way? We get scared of it and we fight back against it. What we find we feed energies we resist persists. So throughout that time, coupled with the willingness and I mean, I could talk for hours on all the other little subtleties. nuances, coupled with the willingness and the determination, and the cultivating the inner peace was the insight that, hey, this is scary, and it's uncomfortable, and it feels like it's coming up to happen. But what's coming up, is coming up to leave, changed the way I related to everything was more supportive of me getting out of the way, and allowing what is no longer serving and what's not in alignment with my goal to get out the body.

Ian Hawkins

And that's also a great point. My question is, that comes from you having done the learning that you've done, right? So for people that perhaps haven't been through that experience, do you have a moment, like being back further than that, when you when you had to face that sort of thing? And how you learn to overcome that at the sort of start your journey around the fear?

Speaker 1

How I learned to overcome the fear of fear earlier on the days. Yeah, so

Ian Hawkins

if you're talking from a moment there where you know, you're well and truly into your, you've been coaching, you've learning all these different strategies, yes, take us back to the early days of your coaching so that we can get some insight for people maybe haven't even faced. But they know that there's be there but they haven't actually done any work to be able to move past it.

Speaker 1

Ian Hawkins

Yeah, so good. Yeah. Because there's a lot of that sort of throwaway lines in the personal growth space, isn't there? Like, yes, yeah. If it's, if it's come to you, you're ready to handle it. Okay, great, but then how to actually do that. So I love the asynchronous concrete steps that we can actually tie that that's good. Thank you.

Unknown Speaker

Yeah, pleasure.

Ian Hawkins

So, okay, if you had that position where you were ready to handle it, and you knew you'd be able to deal with whatever emotions came up having to go back home? Why? Why did it suck the thought of having to go back home? What was the main things that you were worried you would miss if you if you had to take that step back? Or are they not even real? Are they more created fears?

Speaker 1

The thing that would have sucked the most would have been embarrassment. That's what were sought. The most. Not so much. Really. There was never really a thought of what I would miss in Bali, but it would just be the embarrassment of time. For every failure is what Bill was

Ian Hawkins

talking about. Because you've told people what you're doing and then he you are having to change direction because it hasn't worked that sort of thing. Yeah, here I

Speaker 1

am seven years into coaching four or five years into full time and I've ran out of money. That's what would have sucked the most was the embarrassment of temporary failure. And this kind of sense of like, I couldn't back haven't been able to figure that piece out or couldn't do that piece, or that's what would suck the most men would have just been like, shit. Like, yeah, what are you doing? What are you doing back here, man? Just a visit in like, Nah, man, I, I ran out of money.

Ian Hawkins

Speaker 1

The steps that I told in the moment from the moment was a continued practice of opening my body up to whatever was there and surrender. And so surrender is to stop fighting. And like you said, in personal development, there is a lot of these throwaway one liners, oh, you just got to love yourself. You've just got to let go. You need to surrender to that. And the question is like, Yeah, that's great. And all but you know, how the fuck do you do that? Yeah, yeah. And so when I say that, what's important, and what helps is, if someone's telling you to surrender, and to surrender is to stop fighting. What that shows you is that in one way or another, you're fighting against something. If someone tells you let you go to let go, then that shows you that there's something that's been held on to. And so in the in the moment of being on the card. You have been the most alone that I that I've been with the amount of friends and having like having these feelings come up that felt so true that I actually am you know, it's not just this kind of is that is that a possible belief that it felt true that I'm this this loser who not only can't get his stuff together, but potentially will have a lifetime? I've never been able to get his stuff together. That's a big one. Yeah, when it comes to surrender, ultimately, people need to be willing to surrender to the fear of being stuck forever. Which is scary.

Ian Hawkins

I was just flicking through your posts before we came on. And you did a post Exactly. On that point. Yes. The reason we think things are so bad is because there's part of us that thinks this moment is going to be forever. Yes. To me, that's, that's more than a throwaway line that's like, that's profound shift in thinking is just reminding yourself that the permanency of this is is just false. Yes. And I think it's particularly thinking about how many men are taking their own lives. It's from that thought, the thought of, well, this won't ever go away. So how do you help people to shift away from that? Feeling that it is permanent, that it's not going to move? Because it's all well and good to say, well just know that it's not like what are actually the steps so they can have the belief that it actually will pass?

Speaker 1

Ian Hawkins

Love that. And I did a individual episode on that the other day around that willingness to be uncomfortable, because it's just a critical skill. And that's not force, it's seeing that there is something that in the past has stopped you. But it's that, like, willpower is limited, right? It's not a, it's not a infinite resource. But we do have the ability to engage it and and to be able to, even though it's uncomfortable move past it. And usually, it's those darkest moments that force us to write because the alternative is, well, if I don't do this, then what? I also love that you talked about the contrast there, when you were describing the pushing the ball down, it's like, feeling what the battle was like. And then in the same moment, feeling what surrender is like, and you've got a choice. And being able to recognize both sides is just so powerful. That's a great description.

Speaker 1

It's Thank you, but it's so powerful. And it's it's like environment, someone teaching someone, How do I open up my body, first thing I get them to tune into is how they do being closed off. And if it's on a call, or whatever I'm like, represented, some people are arms across, some people are like this. And then they tune into the felt sense of what it is. And because life already knows how to surrender and already to open, every single person has that innate knowledge and wisdom within them. I just help direct them towards what's already there.

Ian Hawkins

Yeah, I love that. And as you know, there's too many people in our space who are telling people how to think how they should do things and what they have to do, right. But it's like, no, you need to, as you describe them, empower them to find what works for them. Because trying to that's just another form of force is trying to do something, other people's ways. If I can bring you back to Bali and ask you about the profound moment, like to me from the moment I sort of set foot in the place, it was like, it was just, it just felt different, right? And then visiting different healers and having different experiences. I was there for two weeks with a with a on a retreat as well. So there was like, those things were built in. But even moments like closing my eyes one night and sort of feeling everything spin and it wasn't like my mind was like everything was turning like I got a visual of it. I was like literally felt like I was on a carousel like, what moments like that have your head over there. That that have just been nothing that you could have ever imagined. Yeah.

Speaker 1

For me, they've mostly come on on the on the other side of an emotional release, and let it go. Where there's been just peace and stillness and presence. A real Yeah, open heart for the experience that I am, for, that I am having. Where I'm like, okay, you know, I am I am here in Bali and living this life and having this time and and there's the pros and cons, there's the goods and Bad's and. And yet, you know, there was one moment while I was I was laying in bed and looking at my looking out the window or looking at the doors. And just clear blue sky Millison some birds off in the distance, which gave me a sense of depth perception. For whatever real reason just yeah, just gave me a nice open bodied feeling of peace and freedom. That was that was quite enjoyable. So that's that's really the vibes that I get here every now and then.

Ian Hawkins

Yeah, and you're not gonna get that staring out the window here and where I am in suburbia or where most people are right like there's something about I mean, even now, what the background noise you're probably oblivious to it because it's just part of it. But the the rooster crowing is and it's like it's it's, it's rural, but it's not at the same time because you just got it you got to go 10 meters and you're in hustle and bustle of barley. That's the beauty of our eyes. It's contrast actually thinking about it now. It's a contrast we were talking about before. Yes. So feels like Pulp Fiction. We're jumping all over the place. So go back to what was the inspiration to go to Bali. Like you were living in the dandy? knows at that point or you've already moved out and you are elsewhere in the world.

Speaker 1

So the inspiration was I've done a lot of travel in my time, I had to have an inspiration to to get out and see the world and explore things and have like to live to really feel alive. When I'm traveling, I really feel alive when I'm off the beaten track. And purely being here in Bali, I my need of uncertainty is ticked. There's a transient feel here that I that I just automatically get, but I don't even need to think about. And so at the time, the inspiration was the inspiration was that I wanted to work online, I want to be in a tropical area, I wanted the the adventure of it all. Where I was in Melbourne, I was living in Collingwood at the time, so I'd been out of home for about five years living with some friends. So there was a bit of moving away from pain and moving towards pleasure. There was an element of Melbourne isn't conducive for me to grow into the person that I want to become anymore, I don't want to be in this party environment that I'm in. There was also like, A, I felt like a bit of a loser. I'm like, I don't want to just live with my mate and his girlfriend for another year. And then there was you know, I want to I want to go and experience this set off on another adventure. And I knew there was a you know, digital nomad, community and space over here that so there was, there was a bit of a drive from, from both directions to to make the move. And it's funny how it was made. At the time. It could have been maybe November, in October, November, I've made a decision to move to Perth to work with a with a business partner at the time, and be a bit of his right hand man. And a friend of mine at the time who's quite psychic, was encouraging me to jump on a call and have conversation with her about it. And like look, I'll jump on a call but I'm not changing my mind decisions made up an hour later, I decided that I wasn't gonna go to Perth, and that I was gonna move to Bali at the end. At the end of my lease, and these types of moments for me happened pretty vulnerable. Like it's just like, all right decisions made. So that was that was the inspiration no longer go into Perth going to Bali at the end of the lease. And committed to it.

Ian Hawkins

Would she say?

Speaker 1

I can't remember exactly what was said it was something along the lines of like, I want to she's like, you want to be the superstar like you want to be the lead and the star of your business. You don't want to be a right hand man. And you know that that's the one thing that stands out rest of the conversation. I can't I can't remember. But yeah, I just had that felt sense of like, Yeah, this is this is what to do. So that was the inspiration to come over here. And there was a bit of motivator from both pain and pleasure. And that's that's that started at all.

Ian Hawkins

And my that's such a great point, I'm getting goose bumps on this. So this is obviously significant. How often in people in business, initially, they think they've got to jump into bed with someone turned like whether it's right on their coattails or whether it's the safety and security. But ultimately, if you're passionate about doing something, you're always going to want to do it your way. Yeah. So talk to us a little bit about that, because you don't just make a decision in the moment without doing a fair bit of thought process around it. Right. So. So when you became created this joint venture, like do you remember what sort of mindset you're in when you when you got started there?

Speaker 1

Ian Hawkins

So he can see a new something at that point where he wanted you to come and present. Was that because he didn't want to be that face out in front? Or was it because there was something about you that he really recognized that maybe you hadn't recognized yet.

Speaker 1

So he was the face out in front for his business younger, wildly successful, incredible speaker, really good at what he does, what he was wanting to do was grow fast and expand. And he's like, you know, so there was young and wildly successful, that there was anxiety for living, and eventually ended up being trying too much at once too fast that that it didn't, that didn't work. But it was it was here, it was already the face of his thing doing his thing. And any any thought how can we get some anxiety programs out into the world? Because it's needed? And how can I you know, have someone else do the majority of it?

Ian Hawkins

Got it? Yeah. Tell me about anxiety was the creation of that program from your own experience of living with it and, and learning how to deal with it?

Speaker 1

Ian Hawkins

age did it start

Unknown Speaker

I would say I would say it was around when I was younger.

Speaker 1

Ian Hawkins

Yeah, right. Have you you've done a fair bit of work on it? Obviously, if you then decided, well, I'm gonna move on to something else. Do you have any knowledge or awareness around how it started? If you already identify and looking back that was probably from, from quite a young age, was it? Like to mess around start a school time? Right?

Speaker 1

Yeah, there's no defining moment that stands out of this like this. This is it. This is this is when it when it all kicked off, or when it all happened is there's nothing like that. For myself, to the pinpointed? I've done a lot of you know, internal exploration within myself to say a cultivation of life conditioning, moments. That led to judgment, just judgment on myself. I think. I mean, the whole everything we do in the coaching industry is the journey to come back to self love. And there were just parts of myself that I was not loving or insecure about or embarrassed about it. So the the anxiousness was of them being seen, you know, hmm.

Ian Hawkins

I remember working with a guy when I was still in corporate, one of my staff members, and he was, he said to me, I've got social anxiety. And, and for him, it was more that he was just an extreme introvert. The bit that was the same was, like you described, he was trying to be someone that he wasn't like he was trying to go out in those social environments and be, I guess, it's like, what we learned from the programming, from movies, from television from ads, that this is who you've got to be to have fun. And it gets drummed in and it's like, no, that's not, that's not your best strength, your best strength is actually just sitting there listening, observing, and be able to bounce off different things like that. And while that was really big for him, so for you going through that time, have you that allow you a place to explore to work out, well? Who am I work? Who am I in those spaces? Who am I when I'm at my best?

Speaker 1

Yeah, definitely, man, definitely like that expectation, anything, anything less is not enough. So there was definitely times where, if I was tired, I'd be more anxious going to a social event, because I'm like, Well, this is gonna take more energy, for me to meet that expectation to wear this mask, therefore there's a greater risk of not meeting it. And so I was more anxious of, because the more tired I was, the harder, the more likely, I just didn't want to talk and just chill. But I was judgmental of that, like, and I was also an insight that I love, is at the time, I was very insecure about being insecure. And so if I was then seen in the insecurity, I was insecure about maintaining the security wouldn't want to be seen as shy. We don't want to be seen as quiet. We don't want to be seen as insecure. I wouldn't want to be seen as anxious. What's the anxious like, wow, I must be so insecure if he's anxious, just here, in this situation. And so something that really helped me is the more secure I've become in insecurity because I'm still insecure in ways and and it will continue to happen while you're totally that's when I've gotten better that conversation and banter and take it appears and back and forth and having a laugh and connecting with strangers. Because acceptance, I haven't had this insecurity of being off the potential of being seen as insecure at some point. Because there's been a security in that that's that's that's helped me be more relaxed and calm. And yeah, certainly went through a period as well of giving myself permission to be quiet and not needing to say much so just to remove. The judge of the self judgment creates the anxiety, the permission relieves the judgment and then all of a sudden, there's nothing right or wrong about being quiet or talkative. It just is what it is. So it certainly allowed me to permission to be permission to flex into being quite talkative. Permission to flex into being quiet, quiet, permission to be somewhere in the middle. really helped me to just feel more and more comfortable within myself, and therefore more More comfortable within a variety of different social contexts.

Ian Hawkins

Love that they're worthy. use their judgment. It's like that self judgment, but at different times people talk about oh, you know, fear of other people's judgement. But ultimately it comes back to that self judgment, right? The external stuffs just a reflection of, of what we think of ourselves. And it's amazing. Through all these different lenses we look at and all the masks that we wear that you described, it still comes back to why why are we so harsh on ourselves? Why are we so quick to judge how things are? And so I love how you've described that coming back to just acceptance and being able just to say, well, it's okay to be insecure. And I'm going to be okay, in that. How do I navigate that? Yeah. You also mentioned a word failure earlier on, and you were talking about from that ability to say, look at it and go, Well, that's where you get the most growth. To me, those two words are so intertwined, right, judgment and failure. So what have you learned along the journey of being a coach the last 10 plus years? What have you learned about the importance of overcoming failure? And by looking at failure in a different way than perhaps what so many is, so many of us would had drummed into us at school?

Speaker 1

Yes. It's, it's, you hear it a lot. It's so classic, it's where you grow, making the mistakes, making the failures, having the setbacks is where you learn so much of what not to do, how not to be, how not to react. You know, that's, that's where the growth, that's where the growth is, is getting into the discomfort that triggers you. And then you got to do like, as we spoke about surrender, and be with those emotions so that they can release. And I think that, like I just said, It's like learning what not to do, like, right? By learning 90 things of what not to do, you're closer to the thing to do. And that works. And if it goes that way, for you, it goes that way. So that's what I've learned about failure. And that is like to look at it as a temporary thing. If you're in what you're in for the long game, then there is no such thing as a full failure, it's a temporary failure, and you can wrap, here's the thing, you can wrap any perspective around anything that you want. And some people do it in a way that is, is dysfunctional, and suppresses their emotions, some people do it in a way that has them just wallow in them, the middle ground is doing it in a way that doesn't have you consumed by them, but still open to them to move through. And you know, you can you can view a divorce as a failure. Or if you look at life, that your entire life until you're dead is the long game. It's just a piece, it's just a piece in the puzzle. You know, it's just a temporary experience in the puzzle that you can, you truly can view whatever way you want to view it. Because if you view it as a failure, that's you doing it anyway. Like, it's still sure there's social conditioning that influences how you view it. But at the end of the day, if you view something as a failure, and even if you know, all the facts of reality, are saying that's a failure, you can still you can still choose to view it in a different way. So I think, if you're in it for the long game, it's temporary failure, and that it truly is where you learn and grow mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and practically, where you learn what not to do next time.

Ian Hawkins

Let's good. So, given you help people with a emotional reaction, what advice would you give to them, given that there are times where we're looking at failure? Because, again, we know that the emotional reaction we're going to get if it doesn't happen, it's almost a fear of not the actual failure, but of how it's going to feel right. So what's the best advice you can give them on how to actually navigate that and be and have their willingness to act anyway?

Speaker 1

Ian Hawkins

Yeah. Stories. But

Speaker 1

what I would say, yeah, what I would say to that person is, is be willing, if I wasn't willing to face the embarrassment of having to go back home, I would have been scurrying to find an online job. Care resolutely scurrying. Because I was like, No, this can't happen, this cannot happen, I would have, I would have moved out of the place that I was staying at and gone somewhere way cheaper, I would have stopped playing golf, because it's because it's not cheap over here. But here's the thing, the day my credit card came in, boom, the next day off, I went, first fucking thing, get me on the golf course, let's have a round. If I wasn't willing to pay for the embarrassment, and the shame of failing and having to go back to Melbourne, my behaviors would have been very different, I would have been very reactive to the fear, I would have stopped trusting the internal piece that I was cultivating. And like I said, I had a nice place that I was in that I would have gone. Now I've got it, I've got to, I've got to cut that down to be cheaper. I can't I can't golf, got to save money on that can't be having to be is. And also something I just want to add in is that throughout this period, there were plenty of times for the listeners where I was just like not not looking at that. And I just crack a beer, and you know, self medicate and avoid and distract. So I'm certainly not some warrior that's just face the emotion every time sometimes you're gonna distract, highlight it, go for it. Yeah. So that's why willingness is so important. And that's, I'm glad you asked that question in that way. Because I could give that example that if I wasn't willing to face the embarrassment and shame of going back home to Australia, I would have been behaving a lot different than I was, but because I was I stuck at the surrender and the trusting of the internal peace long enough to flush out the beliefs, the doubts, the insecurities that weren't working. So that my body then was in alignment and magnetic and magnetizing for the results that I want. And that's why clients ideas, inspiration eventually did flow in. And things turned around fret big old friendship group came in, clients came in bank account turned around. Nice. But I wouldn't have got there if I wasn't willing to risk potential shame and embarrassment.

Ian Hawkins

Yeah, I love that. And it reminds me of one of the first messages I learned from my first proper coach, and it was way up. What's the worst that can happen in this scenario? And what's the best that can happen in this scenario, knowing that neither of those things are gonna happen? Most likely, you're going to land somewhere in the middle, but it's being prepared to see what it is and acknowledge that that's a reality and be okay with that. Make peace with that. And then act anyway. Yes. Because then you've got certainty on what, what it is. Otherwise, we spent all this time in the creation of what you mentioned before all those different stories and scenarios of what could be the fears that come up. There's nothing like just taking that moment of clarity, right?

Unknown Speaker

Yeah, totally.

Ian Hawkins

Tell me, I'm curious about this. I'm also a coach and I love my golf as well. What are the parallels that you would draw between golf and coaching One of the lessons

Speaker 1

Yeah, great question. Great sport. Absolutely love it. One that I that I like is I think that the golf swing is quite counterintuitive. That the more he's to, to start off with at least, is that smooth, smooth goes further than that hard. You know that it's like, oh, that doesn't feel like it's going to do anything. And so there's been times in my life where inner peace, gratitude, trust, stillness, haven't felt like they're going to do anything. So I haven't trusted them. I apply a lot of personal development to my golf swing and ask, What am I not trusting or believing about my swing here? I don't believe it's going to go far enough. So then I tried to compensate for my lack of belief with sheer brute force. What does that do? It throws the club out, you know, wrong, wrong swing path, lift up early off the ball. And as I tried to bloody force and will will the wall, you know, it comes off every now and then every now and then. But there is greater risk for mistake, far greater risk of a mistake. And you only get it every now and then it's more tiring, it's worse on the body. So the first thing is that it's quite counterintuitive. And so sometimes in life, softness is your is your is your power, stillness. Pace, is your power rather than feeling fired up and jacked and ready to go all the time. And the other thing is that the the harder I tried to hit the ball, the more that throws me out in other areas of the swing. But the more I try it, the more I line myself up, and then no longer be concerned with the total result, distance or power. And I just focus on good contact, what's in front of me right now. I hit the ball better. So I suppose that's a little bit of a metaphor or analogy for do your best to be non attached to the end result and just be in the moment in the process. Yeah, because if I'm caught up in trying to hit the ball, certain amount of meters. And that's taken me away from the process that affects the quality of the process, which affects the quality of the end results.

Ian Hawkins

Speaker 1

Yeah, it's that's a very good point. It happens a lot, doesn't it? Yeah. Yeah.

Ian Hawkins

You're right. It is such a user use personal development and golf but it is. It is a personal development process golf it can be. It'll highlight all of your fears, insecurities, frustrations like Nothing else. That's a good job. Andrew, you mentioned some of the things you've done in the past. Can you give us a bit of a snapshot of what you do now and where people can find you?

Speaker 1

Yeah, so what I do now is I work with a high achievers, whether they're you're at a management level or running your own business, who are feeling the effects of stress or burnout on their performance. And with everything that I've shared, and more in this conversation, what I helped them to do is to rest, regenerate and refocus without needing to stop doing business. Which is a fear for a lot of them that I'm that I'm slowing down, and I'm going to have to slow down and I'm going to have to stop. But with, with what I teach, and the ways that I go about emotional release and surrender, it allows them to, to let everything move through. So that clarity is what they're left with, rather than clarity, something they need to keep chasing. So they get the rest of the regeneration and the refocus without needing to stop doing business, which has the adverse effect of improving performance or allowing them to maintain their current level of performance.

Ian Hawkins

I love that, because that would be one of the objections, right? I haven't got time for there. So I can't slow down, but you're actually saying you can help them to shift that without slowing down and without everything grinding to a halt. That's cool. Yes. Yeah. Good, man. And where's the best place for people to find you, Andrew?

Speaker 1

Best place would be to jump onto the website, www dot Andrew D pierce.com. Because from there, there's there's links to all my other socials, a bunch of freebies, some video and written content, ways to work with me all that type of stuff.

Ian Hawkins

Good, man, thank you so much for sharing. Is there anything else you'd love to share as a parting message to the listeners around their own growth.

Speaker 1

The last thing, which is a principle to go away with in your internal world, is you've got to be honest with yourself. at the exact moment like at this in this time, I'm being honest with myself about some things that I that I want to create that I just don't actually believe in, if I'm being really honest with myself, rather than being overly positive or overly optimistic. In a deluded sense, that denies where your current personal truth is. And so just as an alcoholic, that denies that alcoholism will never recover, because they deny the existence of the problem in the first place. If for example, you're someone who loves the law of attraction, and totally believes in it, but struggles to manifest, you don't really believe in it as much as you'd like to think that you do. And you need to start with your honesty there. Or else. You never bring light or attention or awareness to the fact that you like, I like to think the law of attraction works. But if I'm being honest with myself, No, I don't actually think that it works. I think you've got to slog your way through life. Without that honesty, for that one example, that person will never get there. They'll never release it from their body, and they'll continue to perpetuate the same experience that they're trying to get out of. Love that.

Ian Hawkins

So full. Transparency and self honesty is the way to go.

Unknown Speaker

It's the way to go. Man.

Ian Hawkins

That's a great way for us to wrap that up. Andrew, thank you so much for coming on. So much wisdom to share today. Thank you so much.

Unknown Speaker

Thank you, and it's been a pleasure.

Ian Hawkins

I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Code podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief. Let's chat. Email me at info at Ian Hawkins coaching.com You can also stay connected with me by joining the Grief Code community at Ian Hawkins coaching.com forward slash The Grief Code and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal. Please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform