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Living in a bustling metropolis like Berlin can feel like a double-edged sword. Once a source of inspiration, the city's noise and crowding now weigh heavily on my mental health. In this episode, I share my journey of grappling with urban stress, the pressures of an ever-growing population, and the frustration of crowded public transport that led me to make the life-changing decision to buy a car. This move was not just about convenience, but a necessary step for my sanity, allowing me to escape the city’s chaos, even if just for a moment. I also dive into the complexities of modern work, social isolation, and why I've decided to reconnect through casual videos and podcasts, hoping to foster genuine connections amidst the urban overload.

Audio recorded during a walk.

Berlin has long been hailed as a hub of creativity and inspiration, but as I reflect on my life here, I can't help but feel a sense of frustration and anxiety. The noise and chaos that once fueled my passion now overwhelm me, leading to a feeling of burnout. I took a drive to a nearby nature reserve, hoping to escape the urban overload and clear my mind. During this time, I pondered the changes within myself and the growing city around me. Is it me who has changed, or has Berlin changed? The answer seems to be both. As more people flock to this city, the stressors of crowded public transport and rising property prices compound our daily lives, making it harder to connect with the vibrant culture that once inspired me. I discuss the need for a car in a city where public transit is increasingly unreliable, and how this decision has improved my mental health by allowing me to access quieter places and reconnect with nature. In a world where social isolation is becoming the norm, I also reflect on how content creation and digital connections are crucial for maintaining relationships and engaging with others, even if it's through a screen. My journey through these urban struggles leads me to question the very nature of city living and what it means for our well-being.

Takeaways:

• Living in a bustling city like Berlin can lead to overwhelming anxiety and stress.
• I used to find inspiration in city life, but now I feel trapped and isolated.
• Buying a car became essential for my mental health amid the urban chaos.
• The constant noise and crowding of the city force us to seek solace in nature.
• As the city grows, so does the pressure on its residents, impacting their mental well-being.
• I started recording podcasts and videos to reconnect with others and combat social isolation.

Companies mentioned in this episode:

• Mazda
• Deutsche Welle

You know, I came here to escape the noise of the city somehow.

I'm bothered by that noise a lot more than I think ever, ever before in my life.

In fact, if I had to describe myself in the past, I would always say that city inspires me.

And I could not live without being able to just stroll around and connect to the vibe of active city, of city, where things happen, where there's commotion and inspiration.

And I don't think like that anymore.

And I really wonder why that is.

I often think about it.

I wonder if I changed or if the city changed.

And the conclusion is kind of obvious.

We.

We both did.

I live in Berlin and I. I don't know if this is the matter of this particular city.

Maybe you can reflect and tell me what it's like, whatever you are.

But I noticed that this city is becoming more and more noisy.

It creates this sense of anxiety stronger than anything.

It gets very crowded very often.

This one is really easy to investigate and verify.

You just need to look at some statistics and you can easily notice that there is more and more people.

Where you live.

That's the case with Berlin.

There is a huge spike of people coming to this city that I think many people agree is not really built for population that's that big, that demanding, that diversified, I would say not unified.

I've been looking at this YouTube video today about cyclists in Berlin.

And this little documentary from Deutsche Welle was talking about how was focusing a lot about on road rage.

So people would, from both sides would talk about cyclists not following the rules of the road.

And on the other side, you've got cyclists saying that drivers of cars are too privileged, they don't pay attention, and so on.

And of course, we're dealing with this obvious problem of considering only two sides, right?

There is a lot more sides.

I'm not saying there are cyclists and car drivers, because even that, that's.

That's not only two parties involved.

But the question is not whether city should be for cyclists or car drivers.

There is a lot more questions that could be raised from that situation.

And I often find myself thinking down those lines.

I'm thinking whether the city, any city, not just Berlin, but whether this concept even makes sense.

I'm looking at people commuting, I'm looking at people living under stress.

And I wonder is it does.

It doesn't make any sense.

Look at the anxiety you're dealing with.

Look at the pressure, look at the cause and effect.

Look at reasons why you are here in the city.

And these are easy to Justify, right.

You can say, well, this is where my job is.

There are people who say they love Berlin.

And that's a whole other issue, right.

You might be here because you're young and you like to go out.

There's a lot of conversations about club culture breaking apart and clubs are closing.

So where do people party?

Well, I think people still can enjoy themselves improvising.

You can buy cheap beer and sit in front of the store for a few hours, socialize.

It doesn't have to be expensive or complicated.

But is it good enough?

I don't know.

I would say no.

I really question our mot heaps.

I question what we get back from this deal of living in a city.

You know, I've been exploring the subject why people are coming here, why people want to live in Berlin.

And when talking to AI and asking those questions, I got interesting answer, which I don't know if it's accurate and correct, but it feels somewhat believable.

So what happens is apart from migration, apart from people coming from other countries, let's say just Germans.

And I think the whole thing is about Berlin and Germany.

But I feel like this might be a general thing that applies to different cities, different places in the world.

What AI told me was that people from more rural areas that are being pushed out because of lack of opportunities, right?

So they live in a small town and those places are a lot more vulnerable, right?

They don't really rely on the local infrastructure.

They want to participate in a global infrastructure.

So there are factories, there are companies that don't serve that one community.

But their aspirations are to serve the whole region, country, world.

So for many reasons they fail because maybe there's not enough people working there.

Maybe they're too disconnected from the main hub, so they close.

So people end up being left out and they need to go somewhere where opportunities are.

So they go to the big city.

The big city becomes more competitive because there's more people coming in.

New problems start to arise, right?

The crowd, the property price and value.

And it's more and more difficult to buy something.

You need to rent.

The rent gets expensive.

You live in a smaller and smaller space.

I feel like I'm already making my point that it's kind of closed loop and it's not very healthy or logical.

I mean, I understand principles, how that works.

And I wonder, like, do we actually like to live like this?

Because me personally, I went for this walk because I struggle to stay sane in the city.

I find myself living in a smaller and smaller bubble over the years.

I finally pulled the trigger and I bought a car.

It's a small, reliable car.

I was looking for something that would be reliable, inexpensive, comfortable.

And I got this little Mazda, which works so well.

I'm so happy.

I mean, it's first month of me having it, but it solved so many problems for me.

A big thing about living in Berlin is that you.

You don't need a car.

I mean, that was.

That was a reality at least three years ago.

That was a common thing to say.

I argue with that point because it kind of takes up to 45 minutes to go anywhere in Berlin, which maybe doesn't.

Maybe it's acceptable, but at some point it really isolates you.

You don't want to travel 45 minutes to change district and to experience something new.

I think over time you want something more convenient.

And I find myself not wanting to go through the hell of overburdened public transport.

That's not reliable, that's loud, that's annoying, it's exhausting.

It gets more and more expensive.

Also, as a result, I found myself not going anywhere.

And I found myself really tired with my neighborhood.

I've seen it all.

I walked a lot in that neighborhood, and I don't want to walk there anymore.

I don't want to hang there anymore.

So I felt like really locked in a bubble that was just contracting, getting smaller and smaller.

And now the car.

It takes me 10 minutes to get into this forest.

It's not real forest.

It's like.

I think this is actually nature reserve because I see a lot of trees that are sort of fallen and they're not removed.

So it might be kind of protected forest.

But I hear cars vaguely.

I hear cars over there.

There's a main road not too far away from here, but if I drove further, you know, I would find very calm, quiet, wild area.

It's achievable.

And this is priceless to me.

This is just so incredible.

I almost want to cry when I'm experiencing those days, you know, when I'm able to break out from that bubble and I don't need to participate in the environment I'm in.

And this is both a reason to be happy, but also reason to be sad that this is my reality.

And I still think I'm super lucky because I've been traveling a lot.

I know how different cities and places in the world are.

Like, sometimes you need to drive for hours to get out of the city.

I'm thinking of Southeast Asia or, you know, less privileged nations where you've got wilderness and It's.

It's a real wilderness, but you also have those incredible, incredible dense cities that there is almost like no escape.

It takes you a long time to get out from it.

And maybe you cannot afford a car.

I can barely afford this car.

But I realized this is.

This is my baseline.

This is my minimum.

No matter what happens, I always need to have a car.

From now on, it's a matter of mental health.

I just.

I cannot exist without a car anymore.

I think we'll be coming back now.

I don't know this forest very well, but I think it may become very soon.

It might become my little escape pad where I can go to clear my mind.

And I feel so privileged and so happy to have that.

Well, I also want to talk to you about why I. I'm recording this video.

Like, I. I didn't come to this forest.

I'm going to say park.

It feels a little bit more like a park.

I don't know.

It's something in between.

There's this building, this weird building.

I don't know.

It looks abandoned, but I think it's.

Should we look at it?

Let's check this out.

I'm talking to you because it's really important to me to reactivate my.

I'm gonna call it content creation activity.

I don't like to frame it like that, but I call it like this right now because I haven't decided what I actually want to do.

I'm recording both video and audio.

It's going to be a video from my YouTube channel and a podcast, and I'm really just testing things.

Okay.

So this is like a proper building.

So strange because it's in the middle of the forest, but it looks like you see it.

Okay.

I see a road at the back.

Okay.

So it's not really so isolated.

It's interesting.

Okay.

I want to record regularly because I acknowledge this bubble that I'm in.

And.

I. I remember how it used to be.

You would.

You would have your YouTube channel to.

To create something on top of your social interactions.

Right now I feel like my parasocial interactions with podcast hosts, my online relationships are definitely more prevalent in my life.

Like, there's a lot more activity on that front.

I have friends that I.

Well, we go way back in terms of interacting in real life, but now all we do is just chat online every day.

Everything is shifting towards that.

And maybe it's also partly this reality that I was describing that it's just tough to live.

Not existentially, because we.

It can get a lot worse.

But the baseline, I think I'm just talking about the baseline.

Baseline itself is kind of crazy that we live in smaller spaces, we live in, in a denser and denser population.

We need to work a lot more work.

Certainty of employment is fading away more and more every year.

And AI is not the only reason.

I'm observing this for many years now.

And there has always been some challenges related to employment.

And with AI it's like 10x, it's just more and more difficult to imagine that you can get a job and that you can stay with it for until you die.

Like this idea is completely through the window.

So we end up hustling, we end up living in not optimal conditions and we are being isolated more and more.

That's my kind of picture of reality.

Okay.

And I do acknowledge that people live a lot more challenging lives.

But I'm talking about baseline right now.

So I want to make more content, more, more.

I want to establish more connections and I want this to be a normal thing.

I don't want to stress over it, I don't want to over produce it.

But the idea for those videos is to, to put myself out there and to connect with people very casually in a very innocent way.

So that's all from now.

That's all for now from me right now.

Thank you for watching, listening, subscribing and all that.

I'll speak to you again soon.

Bye bye.