📺 Watch & Subscribe on YouTube

In this episode of "A Changed Mind", our host, David Bayer, reveals five powerful principles to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be—without burning out. Drawing from his experience building a $40 million business, David shares how slowing down and shifting focus from constant "doing" to intentional "being" can lead to greater health, happiness, and success.

David explores actionable strategies like breaking the micro urgency loop, trusting your gut, creating white space, shifting from pressure to presence, and acting from alignment.

=======

Available on Amazon: A Changed Mind: Go Beyond Self Awareness, Rewire Your Brain & Reengineer Your Reality

Download the Audiobook: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DCKF721M

=======

What We Explored This Episode

06:00 Breaking the Micro Urgency Loop

12:00 Going With Your Gut & Decision-Making

17:00 The Power of White Space and Presence

22:00 Acting from Alignment & Final Reflections

Memorable Quotes

"The pressure you feel to get there faster is the very thing that's keeping you stuck. In other words, the hustle is hurting you."

"Being is the sum total of your thoughts and emotions on a daily basis. Doing is the byproduct of the being. Think about this as cause and effect—being is the cause, doing is the effect."

"One aligned action moves reality further than ten anxious ones ever will."

Connect With David

Interested in going deeper with us? Check out the following resources:

👉 FREE MIND HACK BOOK

Join our newsletter and get David’s free Mind Hack ebook and training: https://mindhackprogram.com/acm

👉 POWERFUL LIVING EXPERIENCE

Check out our annual live event The Powerful Living Experience: https://powerfullivingexperience.com

👉 NEED MORE SUPPORT?

Interested in coaching programs and more support?

https://davidbayer.com

👉 DAVID’S NEW BOOK

Check out ‘A Changed Mind’ on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1642939862

Check us out on your favorite social platforms:

LinkedIn - http://www.linkedin.com/in/davidrbayer

Twitter - http://www.twitter.com/davidrbayer

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/coachdavidbayer

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/davidbayer33

YouTube - / @davidbayer33

🎙️🎙️🎙️

Podcast Production Support by FullCast

Mentioned in this episode:

Now Available: A Changed Mind Book

You ever feel like you're doing everything right, but there's still this gap between where you are and where you know you're supposed to be? Like, you're working your ass off, you're executing the strategies, you're showing up every single day, and yet somehow you still feel behind. And most people think the solution is to do more, hustle more, and grind harder. But here's what I Learned. Building a $40 million portfolio of companies. The pressure you feel to get there faster is the very thing that's keeping you stuck. In other words, the hustle is hurting you. You say, But Dave, are you telling me to just sit back and relax and kumbaya my way to my dream life? That's not what I'm saying. But in this episode, I'm going to show you that the key to getting from where you are to where you want to be is to slow the hell down. Look, I learned this the hard way. Hustle and grind almost burned me out. But thankfully, I learned five key principles that I've been able to apply to my life and my business over the last few years that have helped me to become healthier, happier, and richer than I could ever have imagined. Not by doing more, but by learning how to collaborate with reality instead of trying to compete against it.

You're in the right place. Welcome to A Changed Mind maybe you've heard this cliche that you need to do less doing and focus on more being. And let's be honest, that sounds like something you'd read on a coffee mug at a yoga retreat. It sounds nice when you say it fast, but what the hell does that mean when you've got payroll due this Friday, a launch in 60 days, and a goal you're trying to hit before the end of the quarter? But there's actually a ton of wisdom in this idea of being versus doing so first I want to break down, what does this even mean? We know what doing is. You write the emails, you drive to work, you try to do a good job, you make some more money, be a better husband or wife. You do the day to day stuff. Being is the sum total of your thoughts and emotions on a day to day basis. That's what your being is. Some people refer to it as your consciousness or your spirit or your soul, maybe even your attitude. That's your being, that's not the doing. The doing is the byproduct of the being. Think about this as cause and effect. Being is the cause, doing is the effect. So if you're thinking happy thoughts and feeling good, feeling emotions, you're probably going to take some form of productive action and produce productive results. But if you're feeling stressed thinking you're not going to have enough money or that you're not good enough, you're probably not going to take productive action and you're probably not going to produce results you like. So being is the cause, doing is the effect. Being is the sum total of what you're thinking and feeling on a daily basis. Doing is what produces the results. Now the challenge is, is that most of us are obsessed about the doing. And I used to be an obsessive compulsive doer. And for full transparency, I still find myself some days reverting back into my doing addiction. If I wanted to produce a result, I would just brute force my way to it. Along the way, things would show up that I wouldn't like and I just hustle my way through them. But along the way, I was constantly worrying, constantly arguing in my head with reality. This person shouldn't have done this thing, this other person shouldn't have done that thing. Why didn't this work? What did I do wrong? This was my state of being. And then I jumped back into reality and try to push the pieces around to produce the results. You picking up what I'm laying down? It worked kind of, sort of. Until it didn't. Because it required so much energy to do that and it's not sustainable. I was literally feeling exhausted from my life. I was experiencing anxiety, my body was stressed. I started to have signs of burnout. Did I make some money? Yeah, sure. Did I help some people? Yeah, absolutely. But I wasn't happy. And eventually I just ran out of steam. It was like every single day I would literally wake up and push this giant rock up a hill towards my goals. Then, exhausted, I'd go to sleep and the next day, get behind the rock again and start pushing. So this was me doing, but my being was shit. And this is where it's really counterintuitive, because it seems like the solution might be to do less and be more. In other words, if you follow the logic that I'm dropping here, the idea is that I should stop pushing and focus more on feeling good. But, like, how does that work? How can that possibly produce the results that I want? Well, let me tell you, I learned five micro techniques that change the game for me. And what's cool about this is that when you understand this and you look at it through the lens of behavioral psychology and neuroscience, it makes perfect sense. It's just not what the Navy Seal 5:00am hustle and grinders are telling you, because they're telling you to do more. But I'm telling you that if you're already hustling and grinding and feeling burned out, your next level is not to do more. It's actually to do less. So here we go. Distinction number one, interrupt the micro urgency loop. So I want you to just notice you reflecting upon your own experience, or notice as you go into your rest of your day today, that everything feels like an urgency. This is actually how the brain is wired. It's a survival bias. But because of this, everything feels behind. And when something new shows up, dealing with it is an urgency. So I have to prepare for a presentation next week, but I also have to call this person back. I haven't called them back yet. I also am a few months behind in making a dental appointment. And then I have an issue with a vendor, an employee, and so I need to address that. And that was unexpected. And then the grass has weeds, and I need to figure out why the gardener isn't doing the lawn treatment like he should. And everything starts to feel urgent. This is the urgency stack that your mind will create. And what I would call this is a micro urgency loop. It's what starts to create that feeling that life is literally caving in on you and you can never catch up. This is the hamster wheel effect. But here's the thing. There is a difference between urgent and important. Is it important for me to go to the dentist? Yes. Is it urgent? No. Not unless I have a tooth infection. But my mind will present all things today as urgent. And when your mind does that, it keeps you in fight or flight. It keeps the sympathetic phase of your nervous system active. When you're in stress or overwhelm or what we would call a primal state. Are you in the Best state of being, to make intelligent decisions, to get things done, to be productive? No, of course not. So if you're wanting to close the gap between where you are and where you want to be, you can't be living in micro urgency all the time. You can't be operating from a primal state. You have to find a way to get into a powerful state. And the micro urgency loop prevents you from doing that. So here's the distinction I learned again. Each day when I think about what I have to do, I categorize them into two urgent and important. And my only focus is to do the urgent things. Those take the priority. Once the urgent things are done, I can move over to the important things, and I make sure I am okay. If my list of important things starts to accumulate, that's not a problem. I don't have to do all the things and not all of them are urgent. Eventually, as I work through my urgency list, I'll get to the important things, or some of the important things may become urgent, and then I need to deal with them. So is it urgent to deal with the vendor or the employee that I'm having challenges with? Yeah, maybe it is. If it's affecting a project that we're actively working on, yes, it's urgent. Is it urgent that I go to the dentist? No, it's not. You know, recently I experienced this with the craziest thing. Cause this is what the mind will do. I decided for my 50th birthday, I was gonna level up my biohacking tools here at my house. And I was gonna buy some red light therapy tools, some lights. And my birthday was like four months ago at this point, and I still haven't done it. And this was creating pressure for me. And I was like, man, I'm not even able to do the things that I want to do to kind of reward and take care of myself. When am I going to get to these things? And it started, it was feeling urgent, but it wasn't urgent. It's important. It's important to me to be able to have the type of wellness stuff that I have here. It's important to me to reward myself with a nice birthday gift. Is it urgent? No. And what ended up happening literally yesterday was I didn't have anything on my urgency list. And the next thing on my important list was my red light kit that I wanted to order. So I ordered it and it's done. But if I actually look at all the time I spent stressing out or thinking because my important list was long There was something wrong with me and I was never going to catch up. It was a tremendous amount of time. So it kept me in the micro urgency loop. But as you start to distinguish between urgent and important, you retrain the loop. So you spend less time in micro urgency, you spend more time in a powerful state of being. You get more done more easily, more intelligently. So the focus here is on being, not doing. The efficiency, meaning the doing, is a byproduct of the being. So yesterday I bought my red lights, and again, I think about all that time I spent thinking and worrying about it. Urgency looping. One of the craziest things is how much time we spend worrying about not having enough time. Either not having enough time now or thinking we're never going to have enough time, we're never going to get out from underneath this pile of life stuck in that micro urgency loop. Get out of the loop, you get all that time back. Distinction number two, go with your gut. So your body registers truth faster than your mind. Before choosing what to do next, check your body, not your calendar. The gut is often called the second brain because it's had its own nervous system. It's called the enteric nervous system. With over 500 million neurons in a direct highway to the brain through the vagus nerve, it processes information, it senses safety or danger, and it communicates through emotion before the mind can rationalize anything. So while the brain analyzes data and logic, the gut actually responds to the field. It's detecting information that is outside of space and time, and you're feeling whether or not the information that is coming through is aligned or true for you in the way that you feel. That's why a situation can look perfect on paper, but still feel wrong. In your body, your gut is picking up signals that your mind hasn't processed yet. So following your gut is not irrational. It's accessing a deeper intelligence that's wired to guide you. If you think about a decision and then you feel your body contract, then it's a no or a not yet. And if your body expands even slightly, then it's a yes. And so this starts to shift you from making decisions, from obligation, because that's what the mind will do. Like I should do these things to making decisions from alignment, which is, I want to do these things, I'm ready to do these things. This feels right. So because your gut and your heart are connected to the field, to possibilities, to intuition, to your future, it gives you a deeper sense of accuracy of information. The brain is a perfect tool but it's thinking. I want you to think of it as a processor of information, but the information itself is coming through your gut. Recently, I've been paying attention a lot to this question of does this thing excite me? Does this excite me? I'm even making this the primary driver for where I'm investing in my business right now. I had a call with an IP attorney last week, and he was talking about how much intellectual property that we've built over the years. And he proposed that he come out to my home and that we do a full day of IP harvesting. And I was like, oh my God, that actually sounds so much fun to me. Like realizing that we've built all this intellectual property in our business and then categorizing it and starting to patent it and becoming not just a coaching company, but a technology company. And it was $20,000 for him to come out for the day, which is a lot of money. But I was like, yes, let's do it. I was like a hell yes on that. That sounds so fun. The idea of writing my next book, which is going to be my business book. Yes. Like I'm a full body. Yes. For that. The idea of sitting down and creating a new webinar. No, I'm not really feeling it right now. So with that, I go, well, who on my team can do it? And I actually started realizing that there are people on my team who can support me in doing a lot of the things that I used to do with, which was causing me to hustle and grind. Now you might be saying, well, Dave, I don't have other people to do whatever it is for me. All right, sure, maybe, maybe not. Maybe not right now because you've been too conditioned to try to get where you want to go by doing. But what I'm suggesting is if you can start to get out of the micro urgency loop as you start feeling yourself going into it on a daily basis and start following your gut, meaning how it feels to say yes or no to things. Well, that's probably going to open up the space for more help to come your way. You know, I didn't always have help, but it was through creating space and focusing less on doing and more how I was being that I've been able to create more support around me. Now, I'm not saying that you don't do things from time to time that you don't want to do because things need to get done. There was a time I didn't want to write my own email copy, but I knew it was important. So I did it. I didn't want to do outreach because it felt uncomfortable to try to go on stages or podcasts, but I did it because I knew it was important. Right. So there are things that, you know, make us uncomfortable because it's new and it's growth, and those are things we need to do now, even though we may not always have to do those things. But what I'm talking about is using your internal guidance system rather than just your mind to evaluate opportunities and to stop feeling obligated to do things just because you feel like you should. I knew this lady, she wanted to start a business. It was her dream. It would help a lot of people, but she used her mind to evaluate it. If she felt it from her body, she was a full body. Hell yes. But her mind came up with all these reasons, like, it's not responsible. I've got my full time job. I have a responsibility for my children. She had like all this mental masturbation going on, this logic killing of her intuition and the possibility that was forming inside of her to have a new life, to do what she loved, and to break through the financial ceiling. And this is what we do. We kill potential with obligation. And the way to start recalibrating your reality is to start paying a little less attention to what you think about things and more to how things feel. Follow the hell yes and say no to the hell nos. Distinction number three, create white space. So doing more doesn't create progress. What actually creates progress is space. And so it's important every single day, every single week, every single month, to carve out time for space. So that could be one hour a day with no agenda. Go for a walk, stare, breathe. Because creativity and direction and timing, they emerge in the space. They don't emerge from the grind. I have a friend, Mickey Agarwal. She's created two nine figure businesses. She's on her way to creating a billion dollar business one day a week. She does no work, no meetings. She just calls it her thinking day. And so she just indulges with the invisible forces without distracting herself with obligation and the grind. Because most breakthroughs don't happen doing the work, they happen around the work. Every great idea I had came during a time I wasn't actually trying. One of the biggest distinctions in our work that's helped tens of thousands of people transform their limiting beliefs came to me while I was walking on the beach with my wife, noticing some patterns in the waves that represented a sacred geometry concept that I was exploring. That tied into the distinction. So the answers are happening around us, but we don't have access to that next level of our growth to close that gap when we're obsessed with trying to work hard and solve the problems. Because when you are in space, your system is downregulated, your thinking slows, you start to become more receptive. And space is not avoiding the work. Space is what allows the right work to come through. Now, to be clear, that's different than procrastinating. That's different than indecision. Again, going back to this idea of having an upregulated nervous system, that's when you're in fear. I'm not suggesting indulging with your fears. I'm talking about taking space to allow the mind to rest so that the frequency of your thoughts decreases. And in those gaps you invite in new information from the field itself. Distinction number four, shift from pressure to presence. So the thought I should be further ahead moves you into a primal state. It triggers fight or flight. When pressure hits, your brain literally collapses into survival modes. You want to shift from look how far I have to go to look how far I've already come. My friend Ben Hardy talks about this in his book the Gap and the Gain. You pay attention to the gap or do you pay attention to the gain how far you've already come? So what you really want to start doing is rather than looking at what's not there, look at the ground around you. You know, I have this beautiful practice that I started every single morning where I walk down to my gazebo and I live out in nature and I sit there in an open eyed meditation and I just realize that I'm connected to all of life. And I realize that all of life is working for me. And so in that I'm so appreciative of the life that I have and I'm able to acknowledge how far I've already come. It brings me into a presence. And this isn't fluffy positivity, it's nervous system regulation. Because when you're present and appreciative of what is versus disconnected and paying attention to what has not occurred yet, you restore choice. You restore choice in your presence, you become grounded. Pressure removes that choice, Pressure locks the system and presence unlocks the direction. So as a regular practice, when you notice yourself thinking about how you should be further along than where you are, take a moment to downregulate your nervous system by shifting your attention to appreciation for what is. Because I know that there are a lot of things that you still want to accomplish. I know you'd like to have more money, like to have more impact, like to have more joy, whatever that looks like for you and man. Look at what you've created so far. Look at what life has brought you so far. So moving back into a type of presence, a type of appreciation for where you're at gives you the space again. You'll see. This is a recurring theme to access a new direction and the next level of what you're looking for. Distinction number five. Act from alignment. One aligned action moves reality. More than 10 anxious actions. And this is why at the core of all the frameworks we teach is a concept called the two states of being. Two states of being says you're always in either a primal state or a powerful state of being. Primal states are states of being that don't feel good. Stress, anxiety, overwhelm, jealousy, anger. Those states of being indicate that you're in the sympathetic expression of the nervous system. Fight or flight. And then there are powerful states of being, states of being that feel good. Joy, curiosity, calm, peace, compassion. That means your parasympathetic system is now activated. It's in this parasympathetic expression of your nervous system or a powerful state of being that you have access to creativity, intuition, abundance, prosperity, health, connection, partnership, coincidence, synchronicity. You don't have access to any of those things when you're operating in a primal state. And a primal state you're operating in a survival instinct based environment. So it's important as best as you can before moving into doing, to notice what state of being you're in. And as much as possible, take action from a powerful state. Right? This is more important who you're being than what you're doing now. That doesn't mean you don't do anything again. Procrastination is not a powerful state. Indecision is not a powerful state. And sometimes we have to act even though we still feel stressed or anxious. Every time I get on stage, I feel the resistance. Anytime I sit down to write a book or create a new training, I feel that hesitation, that uncertainty, because it's an expansion. But there's an opportunity to bring awareness to your state of being and take a moment in that moment to try to regulate and then take action. What are some of the regulation tools you have access to? Really simple things. Take four deep breaths. Stretch your arms or your chest wide open. Listen to some music that opens your emotional space. Take 60 seconds of cold water on your face or your neck to shift your state and Once your nervous system drops back into a baseline presence, then the action that is actually effective reveals itself. You may do the same thing, but you'll do it from a different state of being. Or you may choose to do something different. Because when your system is regulated, you have access to intuition, access to creative solutions, a broader perspective acquired our mind. A regulated nervous system is your greatest superpower. So here's the truth. The world tells you that the path to success is more effort, more speed, more doing. But what we've seen here today is that doing is not the problem. The state you're doing from is the problem. When your nervous system is in urgency mode, everything feels behind. Every task feels critical, and every moment feels like you're running out of time. Urgency narrows your perception and presence and space expand it. So how do we live in more presence? Well, number one, we get out of the micro urgency loops. Number two, we listen to our gut. Number three, we create white space in our daily routine. Number four, we shift from pressure to presence and gratitude for what is versus the gap of what has not yet come. And as best as we can, we take action from a powerful state of being. When you do these consistently, something profound happens. You stop operating from fear of what hasn't happened yet. And you start operating from the clarity of what wants to happen next. And this is the difference between pushing reality and participating with it, between forcing outcomes and allowing outcomes. And that's what being actually means. Being is not passive. Being is the most intelligent form of action. Doing is force. Being is influence. You don't have to earn the future you want by grinding your way into exhaustion. You create it by slowing down enough to hear the next move. You are not behind. You are simply learning to lead from a regulated, grounded, trusting nervous system. And from that place, one aligned action moves reality further than 10 anxious ones ever will. I hope you love this episode as much as I loved sharing it with you. If you have not yet and you're listening on YouTube, subscribe on audio platforms. Leave me a rating or review if you haven't yet. Also go ahead and jump over to davidbear.com, i've got a bunch of links in the show, notes for additional trainings, access to our live event, a couple of our courses that we've got bundled right now. If you want to go deeper into this, work with me and our community. I love you so much. Thank you for being here with me today. And I will see you in the next episode. Hey, it's David. One more thing. If you want to go even deeper on everything, everything we've talked about on today's episode. Don't forget to jump over to www.DavidBear.com. you can find the link in the show notes and subscribe to our newsletter. A couple of times a week. I'm going to be sending you the latest episodes that we've released, along with additional free trainings.

You'll get immediate access to my free Mind Hack ebook and go even deeper into all the tools, the technologies, the frameworks that have helped tens of thousands of people establish a chain changed mine. Don't forget to jump on over to the site and I will see you in the next episode.