Matresence creates waves of change. Big, small, monumental and profoundly significant. Within this change, we also often have a strong desire to step into the next season of life. Because, matresence also creates dreams, desires, hopes and and yearning. Listen to this solo episode where Amy observes how matresence has taught her and thoughts surrounding:

• There is a part of us that is ready for more, while also wanting to enjoy every single part of motherhood as she evolves.
• The look of longing and how we can acknowledge the longing lovingly and with progress.
• The power of daily reminders, because it will come.
• Honouring our dreams, even if it is in the smallest of ways.

You are invited to listen (or relisten) to the episode referred to in this episode by following the link below.

https://www.amytaylorkabbaz.com/ep-74-your-dharma-will-wait-for-you-with-debra-poneman/

If you would like a deeper understanding of matresence and how we support women differently, Mama Rising facilitator training opens just once a year. For early offers and to join the 5 days to a motherhood revolution event before August, please jump the link below to join the wait list. https://mamarising.net/mama-rising-waitlist/

Welcome to the Happy Mama Movement Podcast.

I'm Amy Taylor-Kabbaz.

I would like to start by acknowledging the Gadigal people of the Aura nation

on which this podcast is recorded as the traditional custodians of this land.

And pay my respects to the elders past, present and emerging.

And as this podcast is dedicated to the wisdom and knowledge of motherhood, I

would like to acknowledge the mothers of this land, the elders, their wisdom, their

knowing and my own elders and teachers.

Welcome back Mamas.

In this episode, I wanted to share something with you that

I've been reflecting on as always.

These brief little solo episodes are usually taken from the notes that I keep

in the conversations I have with Mamas.

Sometimes I go through my journal, I look in the notes in my phone.

What do I want to talk about?

What do I want to share?

And one of these notes this time simply said it will come.

It will come.

I've been talking to and supporting a lot of women lately who are wanting to build

something to create change in this world.

They're wanting to step into the next season of their life almost.

And when we jump on a call and we talk, I seem to represent that next step.

I represent an example of where this is already happening, the thing that they

are desiring and dreaming and hoping for.

For example, a successful online business.

And what I've really remembered in these conversations with these women

is the deep longing to already be there.

Because I used to feel that years and years ago when I was building this.

Still trying to understand what it was I was actually building.

I had babies at home, I was lucky if I had one day a week without

children for just a few hours.

I had a hundred ideas and so many dreams and plans and it

felt like it was so far away.

And so when I get on these calls and these zooms with these divine women and

their big dreams and their hopes and their desires, I see in them the same thing.

I want it now.

And yet we also want to be here now.

We wouldn't rush our children's growing up.

We wouldn't change the pace of this time of motherhood.

But there's a part of us that is ready for more.

One of the most popular episodes of all time, episode number 74, if

you haven't heard it go back and listen, it's called your Dharma Will

Wait for You with Deborah Poneman.

The reason this episode has been so popular and successful is because

it's an interview with a woman whose children were now adults,

and she had the wisdom of years.

To be able to show us that if it is meant for you, it will wait.

Your Dharma will wait for you.

She stepped back from a hugely successful career author, possible TV

host, all of the things that she had dreamed of to be a Mama and struggled

with that decision at times, but stayed true to her truth for herself.

And when her youngest, finally left home, she turned back to these dreams.

And there they were.

Waiting for her.

Accelerating at a faster rate and her success now far

exceeds what she used to have.

But I wanted to just create this episode around that sense of being

torn, that inner split of, of course I want to be here with my kids.

Of course, this is the time where I need to balance this, but

there's still this part that is hanging on to the bigger dreams.

This feeling of, I want it now.

Whether this is work, whether this is travel, time with your friends, a date

night that's uninterrupted, whatever it is that you see in others, or you dream of

and long for that you wish was here now.

How do we be okay with this moment, knowing that it will come.

Another example of this is I remember speaking to a beautiful friend whose

children are much younger than mine.

Please remember, as I record this podcast, my kids are 14, 12, and 8.

This year, they all turn 15, 13, and 9.

My days of not being able to structure my time, not be able to leave them

at home on their own are well gone.

And so when I talked to this friend and I shared that I wake up in the

mornings now and can write a note on the table that says Mum's gone for a run.

And all three of my kids can read and are responsible enough that I

can go for a run now because I'm a solo parent and I'm not leaving them

unsupervised because they are older.

She once again, had this longing look on her face.

And the longing was not only for that space to be able to go and exercise in the

morning and not worry about them waking.

But it was also a longing for running.

She told me, I wish I could run again.

My body just doesn't seem to do that anymore.

I used to love running, but with three kids under seven years

old, I just can't, I've tried, it's just not my thing anymore.

And I said to her, when my kids were your age, all I could

do was a gentle yoga class.

My nervous system, my body was not ready for running.

That is not the thing that I needed at that time.

And she said, yes, but I love that feeling.

I miss that feeling in my body.

I miss feeling toned and healthy and that feeling of hitting my feet on

the pavement over and over again.

And all I wanted to say and did say to her was, yeah, I get it, it will come.

There will be a time where you will be writing those notes and

you will be back running again.

And there will be a time where you get to focus on your business, on your dreams,

on your work, on your relationship, on your friendships, as much as I can now,

but it hasn't always been this way.

So, what do we do about holding those dreams and those desires when we

can't fully fulfill them right now?

I think the first thing we do is we remind ourselves on a daily basis, it will come.

Whether it's the mantra of my Dharma will wait for me, or it will come.

Whatever your version of this is remind yourself because resentment,

ah, that is not what we want.

We want to be present for this time.

It is beautiful in its own divine way.

The amount that you can exercise, the amount you can work, the

amount that you can dance right now is divine in its own way.

So daily reminders that it will come.

It will come.

The second thing, I think that really got me through all those years of

not being able to do what I wanted to do yet is to really still honor

my dreams in the smallest way.

So maybe the exercise regime you used to have before babies is not

possible, but could you do one thing once a month with a friend?

Could you go for a big, long walk every Sunday morning when

someone can help with the baby?

If it's a work dream, is there one small thing that you can just hold

on to that you're still doing?

Perhaps it's the books you're reading the podcasts you're listening to,

perhaps it's just that one goal each month that moves you forward.

The key is that when you're doing those things, reminding yourself,

I am honoring my dream right now.

I am honoring my dream right now, even if it's in the smallest ways.

And finally, I think it's really important to say here that in an ideal

world, if running, if your business, if date night is what you're craving,

you would be surrounded by community.

You would be surrounded by the resources and support you needed

to be able to do those things that helped you feel whole right now.

And I'm sorry, they're not there.

They should be.

We're working on changing that, but for now it's not your fault.

And I'm sorry, if there feels within you, a part of you that

has not been acknowledged.

Hold onto it, it will come.

I hope that lands and reminds you whenever you need it.

Thank you for sharing this with me.