Episode 38 of We Should Probably Edit This – But We Won't opens outside on Mother's Day — with background noise, a sick Nancy, and a brand new used convertible Matthew has barely figured out how to drive. They're fresh back from four days in Miami with the grandkids, and little Millie in her sparkly dress and cowboy boots at story time may be the highlight of the episode.

But things get real fast. Matthew and Nancy get into the conversations couples avoid: aging parents who don't want help, financial independence, and the difference between people who push to keep growing and people who quietly decide "this is it." It's honest, a little uncomfortable, occasionally funny, and completely unedited — which is exactly the point.

Also: Matthew needs to get his eyes checked. Nancy said so. Publicly.

💡 Key Takeaways:

• Four days is the limit — presence matters, but so does knowing when it's time to go
• Kids don't teach you to be present — grandkids do — you can finally appreciate the chaos without being in the middle of it
• Plan for the life you want, or someone else will plan it for you — watching aging parents is a mirror for your own future
• Push to keep growing — "this is it" is a choice, not a requirement
• Have the hard conversations — dancing around the elephant in the room doesn't make it smaller
• Know yourself at the doctor — your history, your questions, your standards of care

Welcome to.

We Should Probably Edit this, But We Won't.

This is about our life's messy journey.

It's unscripted talks about growth, real laughs sometimes.

Real laughs sometimes.

Just the chaos and.

And we think there's a little bit of comedy here.

Everything.

It's about our 37 years of marriage and our experience.

I'm Matthew Greger.

And I'm Nancy Greger.

And we're your host of We Should.

Probably Edit this, But We Won't.

And We probably should have edited that.

So here's our next episode.

Yes.

Hi there.

Welcome back to We Should Probably Edit.

This, But We Won't.

How is everybody doing?

We're trying something.

We're trying a different look and feel.

Today, a different location.

We're.

Well, kind of just remember this.

You're doing.

This will wiggle it a little bit.

So that just gives a different.

Different effect.

A different effect.

Well, we've got plenty of sound effects between the drawbridge going up and they.

And the motorcycles being in the park back there.

Well, that's what happens when we're outside.

Yep.

Because we're outside.

So today is Mother's Day.

Happy Mother's Day to all those mothers out there.

Yes, I know.

You won't be listening.

Listening to this on Mother's Day.

No, no, you shouldn't be listening to this on Mother's Day.

You should be doing all kind.

Absolutely nothing.

Well, you could be listening to this if that's what you wanted to do.

True.

But otherwise, nothing.

Sounds wonderful to me.

I was looking at my.

Because he's eating the grass again.

He's eating the grass again.

But I want to make sure he doesn't wander.

He can't wander too far now I've got him blocked in.

I'm waiting.

He's gonna do a Houdini number on us before you know it.

So we had a busy, busy day.

We didn't record last weekend.

We were in Miami visiting our grandchildren.

And I think it's been a couple.

Been a couple weeks now.

I don't know.

Time just is fluid at this stage in the game, so.

But we were here and we got back from Miami and I got sick.

Yeah.

Did you.

You keep saying it's allergies.

I do have allergies.

Is it allergies or do you actually have.

No, I think it's allergies because I had.

Exactly.

Well, it might be because it was really hot in Miami.

And then we come back home and it was like.

I mean, we tanked.

Like 50s.

When you're leaving from 80s.

So he was pretty, pretty warm.

But typical for this time of the year for me.

I got sick.

I'm slowly getting out from under.

But we had a great day today.

We had a great visit with our grandchildren.

It's amazing how big they get and how much.

A couple of months really makes a.

Really big difference, especially with the youngest.

Oh, she, she actually has words.

You can start to understand some words.

Yes, yes, she can.

And if you don't get it the first time, she'll repeat it.

Well, she'll get, she'll get upset because you didn't, you didn't understand what she was saying.

Like she's got to repeat herself.

What.

Why do I have to repeat myself?

Don't.

Didn't you hear me the first time?

And you're like, yeah, no, but it's.

It was fun.

It was fun.

I love it when she breaks out in her Elsa outfit and just sings no words don't understand.

But she has the rhythm and she has the, the sound of the songs.

She just doesn't have the words, though, in her head.

I bet you she's saying.

All the words are coming out really clear.

Do you want to build a snowman?

Yeah.

No, not this time of year.

I do not want to build a snowman.

But it's not like she just has to sing it.

She has to really put the whole gear on to really get into the character of Elsa.

So.

But she's funny.

She is truly, truly a funny type of little girl who's just, just goes,.

Well, that's, that's part of the inhibition of children.

Right?

They don't, they don't know anything more.

They know their limits.

Are you tired?

I'm a little sleepy.

I mean, yeah, they, they, they don't care what other people think.

Nope, nope.

And we lose that as we get older.

We lose that ability just to really just be ourselves.

And you can.

So you can tell that she's being herself.

That's it.

You know, it's so important to be yourself.

So sorry.

So here's a great example.

So we go to this story time thing at the public library where they live.

And, and I had bought her this dress, which for all intensive purposes is a little flashy kind of dress that had little T strings on it.

It was pink and very, very sparkly.

It be if a lady was wearing it, you would be going out, you'd.

Be going to a disco.

You like, not a disco, but you would, you would definitely be.

You'd be going to club, you'd be Going to the club.

But anyway, so she put that dress on and then her mom added her pink and white cowboy boots and a little.

They were also bedazzled too.

They were bedazzled.

And then she had a little white sweater.

So we get to the, we get to the story time and all the moms stop and look at Ms. Remy and her dress and I'm like, can't make this stuff up.

She is who she is and this is what she's wearing.

And there's no ifs, ands or buts about it.

Yep, she's very opinionated now for a two year old.

But we had a good time.

We got to see our other granddaughter Remy play in her championship softball game.

Which was, which was pretty good for, for a night.

Was it?

They're all nines.

There were nines and 10 year old girls there playing softball.

And she's fiercely competitive.

Yep, she is a fiercely competitive person.

Man, you better not get in that chick's way because she would definitely, she would definitely take you out.

But.

So that was fun.

And get to see my eldest granddaughter.

Who's now very tall, definitely preteen and.

Yeah, you spent Friday afternoon shopping with her.

Shopping and going, getting girl things.

Oh, it was a lot of fun.

That's probably the best when you have girl granddaughters and they both like to shop.

And they both like to shop.

That's a dangerous combination.

For me anyway, not for gpa.

He's.

He'll stay home.

I'm not going to be joining you.

No, he will not.

If I am, I'm carrying bags.

He's sitting down carrying the bags.

And that's it.

That's all he's doing.

But we had a good time.

I think we had a good time.

Yeah, we did our four day limit, which is vitally important.

Four days.

That's our max.

Four days.

So we got a lot of action packed time with them in those four days.

I think we did good.

So that was a lot of fun.

Good to go, good to leave.

And then I think we'll see him again in June.

Maybe.

Maybe.

But we're gonna be, we're gonna be away.

So we see.

Yeah, it might be a day.

We might get in there.

But in any case.

So it's been, it was, it's been a very busy time.

So what do you, what do you want for Mother's Day?

Really?

I don't.

Anything.

I got to the point in my life where if I want something, I just go get it.

I don't really wait.

It's not so much about maybe a material thing, but I mean, do you want to connect with your kids during this time?

I did.

I, I had my youngest son.

We went out for brunch with his girlfriend and her parents.

So we got to meet her parents and her brother, which was interesting.

It was a lot of fun.

So they're from Brazil, so they, they speak Portuguese.

They have some English.

The father, I thought spoke more than, more than the mom did.

But we still managed.

We still, we still were able to communicate and, and get, and get by and it was a nice, it was.

A nice Sunday afternoon brunch.

Yeah.

And you heard from your daughter?

I heard from my daughter.

She called to wish me Happy Mother's Day.

And we chit.

Chatted for a little bit, found out how everything is going for her and she's doing good.

I'm sure we'll be driving up there soon to see her.

Is that your decision point?

I mean, why do you say that?

Because we're not going to see them any other way.

Correct.

Okay.

And, and we have a convertible now.

Okay.

Right.

Wait, wait.

So we, when we got back, that was the week I got it, right?

Yes, yes.

So I haven't even had it a week yet.

Last week, this, this week, this week,.

This Wednesday, I got my, my convertible.

And you can see the nice grayish clouds we have there.

Yeah.

So I'm waiting, I'm waiting.

But we got the cloud.

It is almost, it's in the 60s,.

So we're getting climbing up.

But it was, it's, it's.

I can't wait.

So that would be a really good reason to drive two hours away as we get to put the top down when we drive on up there.

But I got my new car, newer car I should reset.

It's a newer car, not brand new.

It's newer.

But it was time to retire.

My old girl, she had 215,000 miles on it and it was time to, to, to give her a rest well deserved.

She could still go for another two or 300.

Well, here's the thing.

She, she's now the loaner car for Performance imports.

Right.

So hopefully other people that will drive her will treat her well.

But that's not, there's no guarantee anymore.

Yeah, there isn't.

There isn't.

But hopefully I'll get another 100,000 miles out of it.

At least.

At least before he has to use it for parts.

Maybe, maybe not.

But yeah, so that was fun.

So that was a good adventure this week that I got my new Car.

You got to drive it today, the first time today.

It's a little.

A little.

Takes a little bit to get programmed, I should say to get in.

Yeah.

Then you get everything synced up the way it's supposed to be.

And.

And you can't do that when you're.

When you're in a hurry.

And we were in a hurry to get going.

And I knew I should have driven my own car because it was more of a challenge to.

To get everything synchronized.

It's not a challenge.

All you need to do is drive.

You make it a whole experience.

Experience is a whole situation.

And by the way, you have plenty of time to go down there and set it the way you wanted to set it, but you waited until the last minute to do it.

So.

Okay.

It's always my fault.

That's okay.

It always your fault.

But there's a reason why now all of a sudden you're.

You're saying, oh, we were rushing.

Yeah.

It's my poor judgment of time when I think I'm waiting for somebody and I'm going to.

Going to go, and when I should have just went down there because we came back home and I thought I.

Would have plenty of time.

I thought I would, but.

But I was waiting for you.

That was my mistake for waiting for you.

I should have just went down there.

Just do your thing, buddy.

Just do your thing.

But today, that's just been the day.

Today I've been off altogether, and I'm off right now.

You know this.

I'm not sure I want to even be here talking to you, but I'm here.

Suck it up, buttercup.

You can do it.

It's not that hard.

I know, but it's like, you know, you go through those moments in time.

We do.

When you're there now, the question is, is how do you address them and deal with it?

You know, take a nap.

Take a nap and reset.

I think that's what.

That's what our youngest is going to do.

Yeah, he's in a food h. Have the toast coma.

I mean, the.

Well, so it's a.

It was a Brazilian place where they keep coming around.

Yeah, Brazilian steakhouse.

Yeah.

So they keep coming around with all kinds of meats.

Steaks and lamb and chicken.

They had fish.

Well, the only fish they had was shrimp.

No, they did have.

Supposed to have salmon, too, but I never did.

You might have had to request it.

Yeah, but they had the.

They had.

So you had to flip this card.

Either yes or no.

Yes means I'm.

I want More meat.

No means stop.

And.

And so you'd flip this card.

So bottom line is you can end up eating more than you should if you.

If you don't pace yourself.

And then they had the salad bar or like, appetizer bar.

Yeah.

But I didn't think there were many appetizers.

To me, it was just an assortment of different types of salads and veggies.

A lot of veggies, cheese and meats.

Other, you know, cured meats and stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, yeah.

Vegetables and salads and fruit.

So, so much food.

There was just so much food.

I paced myself.

I didn't have that much.

I don't know.

Both you and I had mostly salads.

You did serve up a lot of salad.

Salads and fruits.

And then I. I had some.

Some meats, but I paced this up myself.

I'm not.

I'm not in a food coma, but.

But I am just.

I don't know what it is.

It's hard to explain right now.

And.

Baby funk.

Yeah, baby funk.

A little bit of one.

I'll get out of it.

I'm ready just to actually start enjoying this place a little bit without having to do something else, so.

Because what we do is just to beautify our surroundings.

Yeah, that's really what we're doing.

No, but I'm just talking about having to go somewhere, be somewhere, do something.

It seems like we're always just on the run, going somewhere, so.

I know got a couple more weeks and then we'll be on the run again.

Yeah.

In New York City with a whole bunch of people.

But otherwise it's.

It's been.

It's been smooth sailing, which is good.

Very good.

I was surprised that at lunch today, the mom looked at us and said, are you guys retired?

Yeah, I was.

I was.

I mean, we're all in our 60s.

I really feel that way.

Look that way.

I mean, we're foreigners.

If we're in their 60s, does that mean you have to stop working?

No, I'm going to be working till.

I'm 70 just to find this.

Working for somebody else.

Well, at least until.

What.

But if you're working in there, when you get to your 70s, it's something that you're doing for yourself, not working for somebody else.

We'll see.

I mean, I guess that's the current planning goal right now, Right?

I mean, to not have to be working for somebody else in the next four to five years.

All good goals to have.

All good goals to have.

But anyways, I thought that was Surprising.

I was like, what do you mean we're retired?

I wish we were retired, but we're not retired.

Well, even if I was retired, I don't want to not do anything.

No, you'd be doing something, but it'd be something you'd want to be doing.

Right.

You know, not working for somebody else.

So speaking of retirement, what is it that's going to take for us to retire?

Is it having the certain cash.

Yeah.

That we have built up that goal, and then we can start thinking about the next phase.

Okay.

I mean, at 65, you do have to make a decision with the government on which plan of Medicaid or Medicare you have to take.

I think in Medicare you have to take because it's a law.

At 65, even though you could be still working, they still have to measure your health plan against what the government offers to see which one's a better plan for you to take.

I'm pretty sure that's something.

But when that happens, when you're 65, and we still have a few more years before that happens.

Yeah.

So you're waiting to.

At least you're 65, then the next phase of your life begins.

And what phase is that?

Well, that's probably around the time you can really start thinking, should I retire?

Can I retire?

How much money do I have that I can retire with?

Right.

Hopefully by that point, we would have figured out where we want to.

Well, that's.

That's the next phase.

Right.

Is starting to explore.

I mean, our.

Our trips are going to be purposeful in mind of actually checking out where we want to be.

Yeah.

And what we want to do.

So.

So now our trips are.

We have a destination to check out.

Hey, do we want to live here or not?

At least one out of the year.

Yeah.

I don't know if we'll do more than that, but at least once, because, remember, we have a job, so we.

Just can't say, hey, no, but the vacation.

The vacation.

Places that we want to pick to actually have a vacation are places that we would consider living.

Maybe.

I don't know if I can.

I want to go to Portugal this year, but I don't know if I want to live in Portugal, but I at least want to go and check it out.

Okay, well, we can then check it off the list or not.

That would be a potential no.

Even if we want to go visit it, we can say, hey, would we.

I think part of what.

When we're visiting, I think it's part of partially exploring.

Would we Live here or not?

I don't know.

I don't know.

But we do have more pending issues and that's really dealing with moms and dads.

Right.

So that's going to be.

That's what, that's why it's been two weeks because the week before we were at my parents house.

That's right.

That's right.

So it has been a couple weeks.

Since we've recorded because we still went down to Virginia and we didn't record then.

No.

Yeah.

No.

So yeah, that's why it's been two weeks.

That's why we feel like we've been on the run.

That's what, that's what I'm talking about.

We went from, from Virginia to Miami.

Now we're back here.

Yeah.

Okay, so now more people are talking.

Yep.

Well, you, you may or may not hear that because I have noise canceling set up on it.

But, but so that visit just shed light to what we already know.

Right.

The good news is, is we found a place that we can actually stay that's pretty nice.

So if we have to spend a longer time down there, we can.

Yeah.

And hopefully we won't.

Well, we'll have to see.

I'm not quite sure what they need help with the most.

Well, let me put this way.

I'm not sure what they're going to want us to help them with the most.

Nothing.

If they have their way, they won't ask us for one single thing.

Yeah.

Not one single thing.

They're going to want to do everything on their own.

They don't.

Yeah, but they don't understand that I, I do want to help them and maybe that's something that I have to.

No, they, they know that you want to help them.

They just don't want your help.

They know that.

I mean, I guess that's true for all of us.

Right?

I mean, do we want our kids help?

The only time I want my kids help is if I'm.

They're doing something that I think they're, I'm not really good at and I'd want them to help me with it.

But otherwise, no.

Right.

I mean when we, as we continue to age, we still want to remain independent.

Well, our children are independent.

Say that again.

Our children are independent people.

They don't ask us for help.

No, I'm talking about as we continue to age, we also don't want help from our own kids.

Yeah.

And will you.

I think as an adult you want that freedom, number one.

Number two, you want that ability and Number three, you want the financial finances so that you don't have to depend on anybody.

Yeah, but that's the part.

That's the, that's the part is if that was what you really truly wanted, you needed to work towards making sure that that would have happened.

And that's what we're trying to do ourselves.

Correct.

Because we see that that's not something that your parents did is.

They didn't prepare, they didn't think.

They didn't think, how long am I going to live?

Where do I want to live?

Most importantly, how do I want to live?

And those are the types of situations that we have to keep in mind.

Not, you know.

Well, no, they, they.

I mean, that's similar.

Your, your mom in some ways too.

Yeah, but you know, she's a little bit better off in as much as that she is in an environment where she has a tremendous amount of support.

My brother doesn't live that far away from her.

So if he can be there, we are not two minutes away.

Right.

You know, and neither is your brother.

So that's a big disadvantage.

If something should happen and they need help, they're far away.

We.

You can even fly there and get there any.

Fast.

No, you can't.

So you're better off just driving the seven hours to get there.

So it's, it's a little bit more complex and you put yourself in a situation where you're so remote and you don't have a good.

But they don't feel that way.

Exactly.

They have, they have a.

They have a good hospital nearby and they have friends.

But anyway, as old as they are.

But okay, that sounds.

That's okay.

But that's what it is, right?

If you have friends, they're going to be your same age.

Well, then you know what?

So don't worry about it.

Your parents don't need your help.

I'm definitely should not.

I should edit this one, I think because I know they're going to listen.

So.

So mom and dad.

Yes, but it's all.

We are.

It would be all on me.

But we're all.

It's not on you.

It's all on me.

But.

No, but it is a point that is difficult to talk about as you shift from taking care of your kids to they're on their own to now dealing with your parents.

You know, I think that communication is really important.

You know, you have it pretty good with your mom when you talk about how long she can stay in the house by herself.

But I haven't really had some of those kind of conversations with my parents like you have with your mother, because.

That's not your culture.

That's not your style.

That wasn't how you were raised.

That wasn't how you were brought up.

In my family, we fight, we argue, we yell, we scream.

But we get it out.

We get it out.

It may not be what you wanted to hear, but we get it out.

And we make sure that our voices are heard and everybody understands our opinions.

You may not like the opinion, you may not like the situation, but we have been heard and our voice has been spoken on what needs to be done and how it needs to be done.

And that's just how it's going to go.

You dance around the topic.

Everybody dances around the topic.

No one says the topic.

No one says, hey, this looks.

This looks wrong.

This doesn't look right.

Right.

So, yeah, we make observations that have absolutely no relevance whatsoever to the topic of ham, but we'll discuss that for 20, 30 minutes.

But not the big elements in the room.

Do you have enough money to take care of the things you need to take care of?

And is this the style of life you're okay with?

If it is, don't get me wrong.

If it is, that's great.

No, that's fine.

Wonderful.

That's okay.

Because then get up each day and enjoy what you have.

And there's no gratitude.

There's.

There's no gratefulness.

There's no gratitude.

There's no you to.

To enjoy what you have, enjoy your day.

You got to be grateful for what?

No, I think that.

I think they are.

Maybe.

Maybe they are, but they're not very.

I think.

I think they're always.

Neither is my.

I don't think my mom is joyous either.

I think there's just going along.

Yeah.

I'll have to say this is actually tough to discuss.

Yeah.

Because.

Because.

Why is it so hard to discuss?

Yeah, just because.

Just because.

See, the.

The wheels are turning in his head.

Yeah.

They just haven't reached his mouth yet.

But the wheels are turning.

They always.

They always.

Thoughts are in there, but the words aren't coming out.

Most of the time, I can't get the words out.

Yeah.

Because I overthink everything.

Correct.

You know, instead of just having it.

Just getting it out, get it out.

See, because I'm always like, what do I say that doesn't offend somebody else?

But you can't worry about that.

You know, what do I say that?

Because then if you do offend somebody, just recover later on.

Say, hey, Listen, I didn't mean to offend you.

I didn't mean to touch.

To be.

Yeah.

And I think also that, you know, that we don't fully understand from their point of view, you know, like.

Like, if we.

If we put ourselves in the shoes of our parents, they may have a different view than what we see things as, you know, And I think if.

It's not broke, why fix it?

But not just that, but.

But it's just how they want to live, you know, just like your mom, too.

You know, it's like she has her ways of doing things, but that's in her head.

And what she does.

I think you just resolve yourself to saying to yourself, this is it, and now I'm just gonna wait for the end to come.

No, you don't say.

But you still want to enjoy it.

I mean, do you.

Do you honestly see your parents or my mother enjoying the life that they're in now?

No.

I don't know.

They're at that point where they're saying to themselves, this is it.

Have we ever said, this is it?

No.

We are compulsive people that push and push.

I mean, do you and push sometimes?

We push so hard, we get pissed off with each other.

I don't.

I don't think they think this is it.

I. I think they've gotten to a point where they're like, it's, I'm okay, and so there's no reason to go and do anything else.

Is that what you want to be when you're in.

In.

In their ages?

No.

No.

You don't.

No.

Is that.

Is that how we've lived 38 years of our marriage?

No.

No.

We push.

We push to.

To improve ourselves.

We push to better ourselves.

We push to help our kids do better.

We push, push to make sure that we do better.

We're constantly content now for other people.

You're right.

They meant that might not be it.

They might be like, yo, those Gregors, man, they're.

They're really cuckoo birds out there, and they never stop.

I mean, do you think.

Would.

Would you have your mom on the show and ask her.

Ask her what questions?

No.

No.

Or ask what they.

You know, because we're.

We're.

We have assumptions about them.

Right?

True.

You know, so we could always ask them how they think things are right now?

Maybe we can ask.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I thought about that when we were.

When we were down there.

But do you think.

Would you have our own kids on the show?

I don't think they want to be on the show.

Probably not.

Yeah, that was.

That was something interesting too.

In this.

In our trip to Miami, we actually put on our podcast for.

And our grandchildren fell asleep.

Well, yeah, he's going to.

He's five.

He was.

He had.

He had worn himself out that day anyway, so as soon as we started moving, he was out.

And then.

But the two older granddaughters, they listened.

I think Hadley was more engaged than Remy was.

Yeah.

Only because until GMA would start laughing again.

Yeah.

Then it was.

I don't remember what even.

Must have been the last, very last song we did.

It was.

And it wasn't.

It wasn't as entertaining for.

For children, for sure, so.

Well, I don't think this is really meant for children.

No.

No, but you wanted.

You wanted them to listen to something and so this is what you decided.

Yeah, so.

So it was.

It was an interesting.

It was.

Yep.

Anyways.

Anyways, on.

On that note, we should probably edit.

This, but we won't.

So until next time, have a great week and make sure to like us.

And share.

Share.

And sharing is sharing.

Make a comment.

Make a comment.

Bye.

Bye.