This episode encourages listeners to carve out time for activities that bring them joy without the pressure of achieving specific goals or outcomes. Cass shares insights into the importance of finding a passion project, i.e. engaging in creative outlets or hobbies that allow for personal expression and fulfilment.

By reconnecting with activities that light you up, you not only enhance your own mental health but also bring a more vibrant energy to your relationships with others. It's time to reclaim some of your own time and explore what truly makes you happy.

Takeaways:

• Finding a passion project can bring you joy and enhance your mental well-being.
• Carving out time for yourself is essential for personal happiness and fulfilment.
• Engaging in creative activities helps build resilience and reduces stress in your life.
• It's never too late to explore interests you once loved or always wanted to pursue.
• Pursuing something purely for fun can invigorate your spirit and refresh your energy.
• Investing time in a passion project allows you to reconnect with your identity and interests.

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www.crappytohappypod.com

www.cassdunn.com

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This is Crappy to Happy and I am your host, Cass Dunn. I'm a clinical and coaching psychologist and mindfulness meditation teacher and of course author of the Crappy to Happy books.

In this show, I bring you conversations with interesting, inspiring, intelligent people who are experts in their field and who have something of value to share that will help you feel less crappy and more happy. Foreign welcome to another solo episode of Crappy to Happy.

This week I want to share with you the reason why I think it's really important for you to find, if you don't already have one, a passion project. Now, I'm going to talk to you about what that is and why I think it matters. But first let me give you some context.

I obviously work with a lot of women as a coach, individually and in groups, and also just see stuff that's going on online, social media and recently I seem to be having repeated conversations with women who the number one thing that they need in their life, the number one thing that's really missing in their life is joy. Like, oh yeah, relationship's good and oh, your work's this.

And whatever that is going on, there is still this lack of something that they have that they can do, a way for them to spend their time, carve out time just for themselves that is purely for themselves and purely for the purpose of bringing joy.

Like not to achieve a goal, not to get fit, not, not self care as in like because I know I need to do all of these things to look after myself and I need to carve out time for my well being and all of that. Will that's very important, but just for fun.

Now interestingly, the last time I spoke about play on this podcast, when I did an episode about the importance of play, it was the most downloaded episode. So I know this is a topic that resonates with you and I wanted to revisit it because it's coming up again.

And the other reason I want to revisit it is because there's a lot of really, really disappointing stuff happening in the world and there's a lot to feel kind of concerned about.

And having these outlets, these things that you do, creative outlets, activities, hobbies, something that really lights you up and engages you, is so good for your mental health, it is so good for your psychological well being, your resilience just across the board, it is really, really good for you.

And I want to talk particularly today to the women who maybe are 40s, 50s, who have spent a lot of years raising children, working, managing a career, managing A house, doing all of the things, being there for everybody else and who have lost themselves along the way, because this comes up all the time. Now, I'm not saying that this is just for women who are over 40, over 50, because this can happen at any time. This is relevant for no matter.

You could have toddlers at home and you still need to do this.

But I think particularly for those women who have spent such a long time focused on other people and other people's interests and priorities and the things that they have to do just because they've got no choice, these things have to get done and have just slowly lost touch with or haven't been able to continue to make the time for things that are just fun for themselves without feeling guilty, without feeling like that time is better spent doing something else. So you women, it's time to take back some of your own time. Time to take back something for yourself.

And I'm gonna hopefully give you some ideas and some guidance for how you might do that.

Now, if you are a person already has something that lights you up that you regularly make time for, something that really gets you into that flow, flow state that really engages you. You just love it, it brings you joy. It's not a job, it's not. You don't make money from it. You know, it's just something that you do purely for fun.

Then I'm so happy for you. Please continue to do it. Continue making time for that. If you haven't, then listen up.

So when I talk about a passion project, don't be put off by that word, passion.

I think a lot of people get put off by, like, find your passion, blah, blah, you know, like, it's this pressure to have this, like, thing that you just feel so super passionate about.

When I talk about passion project, I'm really just talking about something that really lights you up, you know, All I mean is that you do it purely for the joy of it. It most likely will involve learning some skill. Like, it will probably have some element of mastery to it. Like, but it doesn't have to.

But I just mean that it's not work, it's not study, it's not. It's not keeping in shape, it's not managing your nutrition unless you happen to be really passionate about that.

Now, having said that, if you're really passionate about running and you want to train and run a marathon, that could be a passion project.

If you are really passionate about food and nutrition and you actually want to go and maybe do a short course or maybe start A food blog or, you know, start spending some time really cultivating that interest in food and nutrition. Because you love it, because you could talk about it, read about it for hours. Because it's.

You think about it, you're interested in it, you listen to podcasts about it, you want to read books about it, you want to follow people online who talk about that. Stuff like that could be a passion project. So you see what I'm saying? So it's, It's.

You're not doing it because it's like I should do or because I know that that's really good for me. It's purely for the joy of it. So have a think about.

If you had no restrictions on your time, if you had no limits to your resources, if you could literally do whatever you wanted, how would you spend your time? What would you genuinely enjoy putting your effort and energy into? If you literally didn't have anywhere else you had to be?

No restrictions on time, no restrictions on money.

I mean, I know we usually do have restrictions on money, but, you know, like, if you didn't have to go off to work, if you didn't have to factor that in, how would you spend your time? What would you be interested in pursuing? What do you love doing?

What can you become completely absorbed in and spend hours doing and really get into that flow state? And if you don't know what that is, do not despair.

That just means that you have got some work to do and some exploration and some experimentation to do to work out what that thing is. And you might try lots of different things before you land on the one that really lights you up. And that's okay, too.

Like, you can go and you can explore lots of things. Maybe think about, what did you love doing before?

Like, before you were weighed down with responsibility, before you had kids, before you got married and got a mortgage or whatever. You know, before you got really busy in your career and working long hours. What did you love to do for fun? Maybe you loved dancing.

I've heard of women going back and doing adult ballet classes, going back and doing adult art classes, you know, because they loved to do art and creativity when they were younger, and then they lost that writing. Maybe you were really into creative writing. Maybe you can start writing again. Again. See, it's not because I'm going to get a book published.

It doesn't have to have that sort of goal attached to it. It's just for the joy of the process.

And then maybe you start following writers and people who teach writing skills on substack like there's plenty of them, let me tell you. Or you start taking short courses in how to be a better, or going on a writer's retreat or whatever it might be.

You start to explore how you can spend some more time doing that thing for the process, just for the fun of it. No goal, no outcome. Maybe you start writing a blog. You see what I'm saying?

Like, how do you start to tap in and pick back up some of these things that maybe you had a natural interest in, you were naturally drawn to, you had a propensity for it, you had a talent for it, perhaps, or just an interest in it? How can you maybe revisit some of those things and see if that interest is still there?

Did you always want to do something and then you felt like it's too late? It's, you know, you missed the boat. What are those things that you feel like potentially you felt like you left too late?

Maybe you always wanted to learn an instrument and now you feel like it's too late. One of my clients just picked up a guitar and started guitar lessons. Maybe it's interior design, maybe it's.

And, and you'll see that I kind of often lean towards creative type things because I do genuinely believe that there are a lot of people who have unexpressed creativity. Like we have untapped creative talent that I think it's really good.

Again, really good for your well being, good for your psychological well being to express something, to do something that is creative. But for you, it might not be necessarily a creative project. Maybe it's more to do with, like I said, like running a marathon.

Maybe you want to go climb a mountain, maybe you want to walk the Inca trail, Like, maybe that's your passion project. And so you start working towards. How do I start training myself for that? How do I start learning what I need to do for that?

How do I start preparing myself? That becomes a project for you. Bushwalking, camping, outdoor kind of activities, photography, wildlife photography, portrait photography.

Like, what is it? Maybe you want to start a YouTube channel. Maybe you want to start a podcast. Hey, why wouldn't you start a podcast? Like anybody can start a podcast.

So the key characteristics of this thing are simply that you do it just for you, for nobody else. You do it just for fun. Ideally do it by yourself.

So what I would hate to happen is for you to say, oh, I'd love to, that if I could just find somebody to come with me, like, this is for you, do it for you. And, and don't be reliant on anybody else to have to come and do this with you. You don't have to share it with anybody. It is just for you.

Maybe it is cooking classes, but learning different ways of cooking from different countries, like Japanese cooking or Vietnamese cooking or French. And maybe you start to learn that.

Maybe you just start to watch some YouTube videos, maybe you just start to build this skill, you start investing some of your time, some of your energy into this thing, something that you genuinely just love to do. It's just for you, it's for nobody else. And then eventually you decide, you know what, maybe I'm actually going to go on a trip.

Maybe I'm going to plan a trip to Spain and learn, take some Spanish cooking classes while I'm there. I'm going to go to Italy and take some Italian cooking classes while I'm there.

The thing is, you don't want to wait and oh, in a year and a half I'm going to go to Italy and that's when I'll do this. I want you to start now. This is going to be something that you can start now, even if it is just a couple of hours a week.

But ideally then you want to have this be something that you can regularly go to. Maybe it's a few times a week, maybe it's, you know, a bit of time, bit more time on the weekends.

And what it does is it gives you something to balance out all of your responsibilities. It gives you something to look forward to that you can actually get excited about.

It helps you ideally, like when, when you find the thing, like you will really, it will help you get into that state of flow, that state of flow where you're just completely absorbed, like completely in the zone because you're so just in your experience. I mean that is the state of optimal well being. You feel good, you feel energized, you feel inspired.

There's always something new to, to learn or to do or some progress that you can make that you can feel really good about. You may eventually make some social connections through this thing. Like you may end up meeting some people who have a similar interest.

And so it's got that social aspect to as well. And the thing about having an interest is that it makes you interesting. I hear so often from women that they just feel like they've lost themselves.

Like I'm a, I'm a wife, I'm a mother, I have my job, you know, but, but outside of that, maybe I see my family, see my sister, see my mom once a week, have Dinner with the family. But outside of that, I feel like there's nothing like what do I have to talk about? Because it's just the same old same old.

It's just I'm just in the rut of the, the routine of life.

The other thing that can happen is that like I said before, there can be this guilt, like if I'm not doing something productive, if I'm not doing something that is contributing to, you know, working or contributing to the finances or helping around the house, because there's so much things to be done and there's always something to do.

And I feel like this is a waste of my time and potentially I might feel like this is a waste of money, of family resources or I'm not going to be there as much as I should be for my kids or whatever it is. These are the things that can get in the way of you pursuing something for yourself.

So let me be the first to tell you, there is so much research that says that this is so good for your psychological well being. Emotional resilience. If it's creative, then it's building, you know, neural pathways in your brain.

It is reducing stress, it is making you a happier person and a more well rounded, balanced person. It's building your confidence. Because now you have got something that you can talk about. Now you've got something that really engages you.

If somebody asks, what do you like to do on the weekends? It fills your cup so that you can be the best version of you for the other people in your life.

I've said before, and I just said it to one of my clients the other day, but I've said before and I'll say it again, I heard a marriage counselor say many years ago, it is the responsibility of each person in a relationship to be an interesting person. It is your responsibility as an individual to be an interesting person, to have something that you bring to that relationship that is unique to you.

It's something that you're interested in, that you know about, that you spend time doing, that you can come back to the relationship and talk about. That's nothing to do with your partner.

And equally they go off and they have their interests and they have their things that they enjoy and they can come back and talk to you about that. And so each person has got something that they bring and that keeps things interesting.

And you people are interested in and people are drawn to interesting people, right? People with interests.

And when you filled your cup and you've replenished your energy and you feel like you've had that opportunity to do something for yourself.

You come back more present, more engaged, more inspired, more happy for all of the people in your family, as opposed to not doing it because you feel guilty or you feel it's a waste of time, or you feel like there's too many other things to do. And then just feeling bored, frustrated, resentful, most importantly, just stressed, like, just not having any space for yourself.

And then everybody around you feeling that even if you're not, like, outwardly, like resentful or stressed or cranky or irritable, there's a difference in energy. You know, there is a difference in just your. Just your mood, just your vibe.

And especially those of you who've got kids who are growing up, those, you know, little kids don't need you as much anymore. They're growing up, they're becoming more independent, they're getting out with their own friends, they're doing their own thing.

And there can be this sense of, like, not being needed anymore, but also looking around and going, well, where am I? Like what? What do I do? Like what?

What's my life now if I don't need to be there for all of these other people, if they're surviving, you know, they're fine without me, then what's left for me now? And this is why I say at any age, this could be an important thing to do.

Because even if you're, you know, you've got younger kids, start planning ahead, start looking ahead to when they don't need you anymore, what's going to be left for you. Start investing in something for you, time for yourself. Find a passion project, I'm telling you.

And remember, you don't have to have the answers tomorrow. Like, if you are at a loss, if you really don't know what that thing is.

And I would challenge you because I reckon that probably something bubbled up into your mind and you may have immediately dismissed that. So pay attention to those little clues. If something pops up, pay attention to it. But you don't need to know. You can just. Just experiment.

Try something you don't have to commit. Find a little weekend course in something that looks interesting to you. Find a little workshop, you know, like, just play.

Just be willing to experiment and explore and see what you really enjoy. I promise you'll be healthier and happier for it. I promise that the people around you will all benefit from it.

I am happy to report that I have made some progress myself on growing the podcast and one of the things that I have done is I have now got from this year I will be posting these episodes on YouTube so it takes a little bit of extra time.

Currently they may not be up straight away, but eventually you will be able to see them all on YouTube the full video if you prefer to watch see my face as well as listen.

And the other thing is I'm setting up a dedicated website for the podcast and on that website there is there will be space for you to send me messages and there will be there is a little microphone down in the corner which you can press to send me a voice note. It's still a work in progress. You'll be able to find it.

Or you can find Find it crappy to happy pod.com but just know that it is not fully up to date yet.

It's still a work in progress and you'll be able to join the mailing list there as well so that you can get the emails of whenever there's a new episode or if I'm looking for suggestions or input.

And like I said the end of last year to find out more about the subscriber option for Crappy to Happy, which is on the way, not too far off, I'm working on something special for the launch of the subscription podcast that will make it so worth your while to jump in as a VIP Crappy to Happy listener. For now, good luck, explore your passions, have fun and I cannot wait to catch you next week for another episode of Crappy to Happy.

Crappy to Happy is created and produced by me, Cass Dunn. If you enjoy the show, please hit the follow button wherever you listen to ensure you never miss an episode.

You can find the link on my website cassdone.com thank you so much for being here and I cannot wait to catch you next week for another fabulous episode of Crafty Happy.