Today with me Gunther Mueller best known for the 5 step magnetic mind method and his work with Tony Robbins.

I don't feel authentic.

Who am I?

I'm feeling broken and not enough

My body is being abused into looking better because you don't feel beautiful ?

My past is haunting me ?

I have to live up to other people's expectations..

These destructive thoughts roam in most people's head ..

Gunther Mueller will show us on how to relax about all this

How to live a fulfilled life, feeling enough, handsome, beautiful, healthy and authentic

"A shift in your identity while focussing on your desires" is necessary

Gunther is giving us so many tools to be and feel empowered and become the author of our Life.

with love and deep respect

A.

how to connect with Gunther and learn more about his work

https://dreamlifemasters.com/gunther-mueller

https://www.facebook.com/mueller.gunther/

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I’m very excited to guide you closer to your real, authentic self. 

My vision is to support your growth.

This is a place where you can recharge your batteries, reconnect to yourself, 

really get to know yourself and find out what steps you can take to untangle

yourself from a situation you don’t wish to be in. I invite you to get to know yourself better in order for you to make the right choices for yourself in the future.

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Free yourself from the ongoing destructive inner chatter become the strongest most authentic version of yourself.

Let’s dive in and find out more about this juicy topic that will most likely affect you in one way or another. 

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Unknown: 00:00:09

Hello, hello and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host Aurora, and I'm very happy to

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have Gunther Muller with us today. He is very excited to be

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sharing more about the five step magnetic mind method. And we

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will discuss this in another episode. Today we focused on

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yeah, getting to know what Gunther is all about. And his

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vision when it comes to the self help and healer community. All

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too often we focus on the broken, the things that need to

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be fixed on the past on regrets, and he has a very fascinating

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way to approach healing and self help. And you will see here in a

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second, when we start our conversation, that concert is

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all about forward movement, without living in denial, living

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authentically helping yourself and in helping yourself you

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become a stronger, more reliable, individual. And, and

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becoming that person, we can create stronger and more

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resilient communities around the globe. Thank you so much for

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listening. Enjoy this interview with Gunther Mueller. And

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myself.

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All right, Aurora, thank you so much for having me here.

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Pleasure to be on the Borealis experience today. Super excited

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to share the five step magnetic mine method with your listeners.

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But first, you know, I am a typical man that grew up in New

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York City, left there when I was about 18 years old. And you

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know, did all the things that society and parents would expect

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of a man, you know, I was born in 1966. So I'm about 55 years

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old right now. And went to Colorado lived there for about

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30 years, kind of following my passion of skiing the big

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mountains and went to college got good grades did things after

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that. I've always had this bug for being free freedom is

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probably my highest value. So I went to Alaska did some

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commercial fishing up there, spent my winters skiing. And

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then about 1992 I created my entrepreneurial experience over

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the last 30 years, took my experience from seafood and

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meats and created food distribution businesses. I've

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been in the restaurant business for about 14 years sold that got

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out of that. I've been in the solar business, I've been in the

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coffee business. last decade, I've been in the medical field,

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really helping people as an optimal health strategist and

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training medical professionals on hormone optimization,

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nutritional optimization. And my latest passion really is in that

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mental health space or becoming a super conscious creator, to

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really have the life that you love. And I look back on my life

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and I say, you know, there's not much I haven't experienced, I've

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experienced divorce, I was married for 25 years experienced

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infidelity on my ex wife's Park, I do have three amazing children

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that are super successful. And so just really having to manage

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all of that, you know, I found a new love of my life now in this

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part of life. And, you know, I look at life very much as the

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first half of life and the second half of life sometimes.

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And sometimes we have to have just some experiences to learn

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things, even though they may be painful and traumatic and

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unwelcomed at times. But then if you choose to learn from those

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experiences, or start to just view them as experiences, then

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you get into a better place to choosing what you would love to

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experience now. So you know, in our short conversation, I really

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understand the audience here as being, you know, men that may

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struggle with, you know, depression or addiction or

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having had issues in relationships and stuff like

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that.

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And I just initially want to put out a word of confidence that no

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matter where

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no matter where you find yourself right now,

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you can create a life that you love.

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So that is the stance that I'd like to come into. So and I

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think the confusion that you referenced is I do think that

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men in particular and the women need to know and understand this

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is that men have been given so many different signals is what

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it even means to be a man these days. You know is is it the

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spectrum of being the real manly, macho, masculine type

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man, some women find that attractive some people women you

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know

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don't like that kind of thing? Or is it the, you know, the

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other end of the spectrum of being kind of an emasculated,

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soft man and not really being that manly expression, you know,

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of the masculine identity. So there's this huge field, where

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men find themselves in today, and not really knowing where to

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plant their feet. And so what happens a lot of times is men

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just kind of default, and they, you know, not making a choice is

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still a choice.

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And so when you default to the non choice, you basically start

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living your life in a reactive mode, and your choices start

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becoming ones of consensus, you know, do the people around me

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approve of me, or, you know, it's not about what I want from

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my life, or what I saw myself doing or what I would love to

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experience, it's more about is who I am and what I'm doing

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acceptable to those around me? Or am I choosing from a place of

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limited choices, and not really looking, as you know, the

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opportunity and an infinite field of possibilities. So

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that's, that's where I really would love the audience to, for

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us to explore that in a conversation. And really just,

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you know, dive into that a little bit.

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This is exactly what I wanted to attract onto this platform. I

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love the way you speak, like, it's very easy to understand and

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follow. And it's very clear, and I feel you really see the

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situation,

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how it is like there's a lot of tension also between men and

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women and power games. You described earlier that when you

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hold the door for a woman, you have very different reactions.

Unknown: 00:06:54

So there has to happen. A lot of healing on the women's side, but

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also on the men's side. And

Unknown: 00:07:03

yeah, thank you so much for being here. And for sharing

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about your,

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your path, it hasn't been an easy one, but you chose to see

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painful situations as a lesson or as a incentive to change

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something in your life and to focus on something new. Like

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you're not in a job that bores you. You're not in a job that

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sucks energy of you. You learn to say goodbye, and and move on

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to something new. And this is like incredible. This is

Unknown: 00:07:41

Yeah, is strong character. And I'm very pleased to have you

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here.

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Just before we dive into the five steps, your program, I

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would like to ask you,

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when you see like the different roles that men can take on and

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women to, for the future, what would you like to see? How can

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you imagine that they come back? How can they come back together,

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form strong relationships, and in doing so creating stronger,

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more resilient societies.

Unknown: 00:08:22

So you bring up a great point in my work today, there's really

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three main buckets, okay, the main buckets are usually finance

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and abundance. The second bucket would be love and relationships.

Unknown: 00:08:35

And the third bucket would be health and vitality. And most

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human call them problems could fall into one of those buckets,

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maybe we'd have a fourth bucket called miscellaneous or

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something doesn't fit into those. But really, when you look

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at the human condition, we are seeking less pain and more

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pleasure in our life. And sometimes we're not even looking

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for pleasure, we will accept mediocrity, or just greater

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satisfaction to just minimize or suppress any pain that might

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happen. And so the context I want to lay out for our

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listeners is that look, our thoughts, and our emotions in

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the quantum physical reality are not real. They feel real as

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hell, okay, they feel like they are really real and they come

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and they come at us. And a lot of times to avoid pain, we try

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to suppress that what is we try to put a wet blanket over it and

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just, you know, push it down. So we don't have to feel the

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feeling when we when we get into the science of the personal

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development movement. And I think what I'm going to share

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with you today is really a revolution in the personal

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development movement, because I've been part of it for 30

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years and I've spent hundreds of 1000s of dollars in that

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movement and I work with some of the great names in that

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movement.

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What I'm here to share with you today is the actual quantum

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physics.

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ality the science that we know now over the last 4050 years,

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and how it relates to our mental well being, how it relates to

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our physical well being, the biology, the DNA, the

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neuroplasticity of the brain, auto suggestion, hypnosis, all

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these different things. And finally getting to a practical

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way to craft and create a life that we love. And so it has to

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happen on the female perspective as well. Women need to make

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conscious choices about what it is they would love to experience

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in a relationship, and also deal with their fears and their

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emotions, and the pain that maybe they have had in previous

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relationships just like men need to do, right. And and the

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reality is that men and women are wired differently. Let's

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face that, I mean, I think in our cultural world that we live

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in, we're trying to blend those boundaries, we're trying to make

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everything the same and equal. And, and I think just an obvious

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observation of the way it is, you said that earlier, just you

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know, this is the way it is, look, men and women are

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different. And I don't think it's ever going to be other than

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that, if you want to tell the truth about it, right? There's

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all this political correctness going on, there's all of this

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trying to create equality. And I want to back it up a little bit

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and just say, look, women have two choices that they would love

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to experience in their life around love and relationships,

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and intimacy, all of those things, right. And men have the

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same thing. But men really in our cultures have not been able

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to really speak to that haven't been taught to really speak to

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that don't really think that it's maybe manly to even be in

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that space that's reflective or contemplative, meditative, maybe

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you know that. Men really have been put in a position of doing

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one thing, mainly provider roles, right. And there's a

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certain nature to it, let's say maybe it is biological, maybe it

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is passed through the DNA, maybe things are evolving, and things

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are changing. And then there's more of a balance between the

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masculine and the feminine. I mean, it takes a long time for

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these things to play out. And so you know, whose list the people

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that are listening to us right now need a real life solution

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right now. And they can't wait decades, you know, to feel

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better, or wait decades to get the results that they want in

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life. So everything really starts with a first step

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of really choosing from a place of what would you love to

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experience on both the female side and the male side. And

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since we're talking primarily to men, I'm going to speak to the

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men and just be very clear that we need to spend some time

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really choosing not in the problem solving reality.

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Because when we try to solve problems, we're focused on the

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problem. And we're trying to put together action steps or ideas

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that will solve the problem. So maybe there's a man that wants

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to have a new relationship or a better relationship and when

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they had before, and it's like, okay, how do I solve that

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problem of getting into a relationship that I want, and

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not a lot of time is really spent on actually creating or

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visualizing or seeing that with beginning with the end in mind,

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you see in the quantum physical reality, if you don't really

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know what you want.

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And you just say, in your own mind that you just want

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something better than what you had.

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The old saying is, be careful what you wish for.

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Because it may be slightly better, but it's still really

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not going to be what you love. And unless we recognize some of

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the self sabotaging patterns that every human being has, we

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have crafted our identity over a lifetime of experience. So this

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begins from zero to seven years old. You know, we had to figure

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out what it's like here. We had to figure out how to get food,

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how to get a safe place to sleep, how to get attention, how

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to get love, how to do whatever there was, you know, as soon as

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you pop out of the womb into this life, you're figuring out

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what it's like here, and how do I get what I want. And so we

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make decisions based on decreasing pain, and increasing

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satisfaction. And then when we get into adulthood, some of the

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decisions that we made maybe from abusive situations or

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traumatic situations or less than optimal situations, we made

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choices about how things were and how to survive and how to

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get through. And those patterns now exist in

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The subconscious program, and I'd like everybody think about

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their subconscious is kind of like Windows 10. Running your

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computer. When you turn on your computer, you have no idea that

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machine works, all you know is that it boots up and fires up

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and you start using it for some productive purpose. But you have

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no idea how that machine really runs. And every once in a while,

Unknown: 00:15:19

Windows 10 pushes an update or iOS pushes an update to your

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device, you say, Okay, I'll accept the update. And then you

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restart, and then the machine runs on a new program. Our

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subconscious program has been crafted through our lifetime and

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the sabotaging identities that I'm talking about. Sounds like

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this, it sounds like I'm not good enough, I'm not good enough

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to be in a real, satisfying, intimate loving relationship. Or

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I'm not worthy of that. Look, I know my character traits, and I

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can't bullshit myself, I know who I am, I know how I've

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behaved and I've done things. So I'm really not worthy of having

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that kind of thing. So I'm not going to worry about it, or I'm

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not capable, I don't know how to do those things, I need to go to

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a class, I need to go to a retreat, I need to get some

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education before I can do that I need, I need to gain some

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capability, or things like I'm insignificant, I'm never going

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to have the relationship that I want. Because I play small or

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I'm not big enough, or I don't I'm not courageous enough, I'm

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not out there enough. Or the idea of perfection, I'm not

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perfect, I can't have what I want until I perfect my

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personality, I can't have what I want, until something gets

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changed or adjusted. And then another big one is I don't

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belong.

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A lot of people and other people have a lot of people have

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thought that, you know, they don't even belong to their own

Unknown: 00:16:42

family. They feel like a black sheep or they feel like they

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don't belong, where they find themselves. And all of those

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sabotaging identities are running in the subconscious

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program. And the identity needs to maintain congruence with the

Unknown: 00:17:01

experience that we're having. The only way the experience will

Unknown: 00:17:05

change is if the identity shifts, because the identity is

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always congruent with the active experience. And there's only

Unknown: 00:17:14

three places we can really be, we can be stuck, meaning

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nothing's changing, no matter what I do, I'm just stuck. It's

Unknown: 00:17:21

the same thing every day, nothing's moving. The second

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place is a place called oscillation. Oscillation feels

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like three steps forward two steps back one step forward,

Unknown: 00:17:31

half step back, and you just feel like you're going back and

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forth and not really getting where you want to go. The third

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state is a place called flow. This is kind of being in the

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zone where we can turn our thoughts and desires and dreams

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and what we want into reality. And we've all experienced that

Unknown: 00:17:49

from time to time we've been in states of flow or in the zone

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where it just feels like whatever I want to create, it's

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just happening, it happens exactly the way I want it. And

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things show up the way I want them to show up. And this is a

Unknown: 00:18:02

quantum physical reality. Right. So that's kind of the context

Unknown: 00:18:06

that we find ourselves in is that we need to step out of the

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problem solving reality, to get what we want. We need to come

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into the Creator stance and really spend some time gaining

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the clarity, and truly from a place of loving what we want,

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choose what we want. And and you know what you're in a true

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choice. If I were to ask someone say, Why do you want that? And

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the answer is I want it just because I want it, I want it

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just because I would love to experience that. And it's not a

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stepping stone onto something else. So many times we make

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choices in our life that are stepping stones to get somewhere

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else and therefore they're not true choices. And it's it's a

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total quantum shift mindset to really choose the reality that

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you love. And this is I'm gonna say foreign to a lot of men, men

Unknown: 00:19:04

have not been taught this, I had to learn it the hard way. Okay,

Unknown: 00:19:09

through many ups and downs and reinventing myself both in

Unknown: 00:19:13

business and as I already shared and, you know, long term

Unknown: 00:19:16

committed relationship that did not work out as long as I

Unknown: 00:19:20

intended it to work out. And all kinds of various reasons. And

Unknown: 00:19:25

you mentioned it earlier, that it's just what is now we're just

Unknown: 00:19:29

observing what is we're looking at past experiences not in a way

Unknown: 00:19:34

to label them as bad

Unknown: 00:19:37

or I hate them. I can't believe that happened to me if I'm you

Unknown: 00:19:42

know, responsible for my life and everything that I've

Unknown: 00:19:45

created, there's no way I would have created those things. And

Unknown: 00:19:48

so there's a there's a skepticism that is in the mind

Unknown: 00:19:52

also that many men may have to deal with to actually even allow

Unknown: 00:19:57

this kind of information into their conscious

Unknown: 00:20:00

SNESs to even get to the place of contemplating that it's even

Unknown: 00:20:04

possible to manifest and have what they would love to

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experience. Because sometimes we're as men, we're not even

Unknown: 00:20:14

able to contemplate that reality, we have not been taught

Unknown: 00:20:18

or allowed to remain in that dream state for very long. And

Unknown: 00:20:24

to really, you know, fathom the possibility of what could be.

Unknown: 00:20:30

Hope that makes sense? Oh, yeah, it makes so much sense. And you

Unknown: 00:20:34

can apply this in all areas of life, not only romantic

Unknown: 00:20:41

relationships, but friendships and family members or your

Unknown: 00:20:45

career. And it's really impressive how a lot of people

Unknown: 00:20:51

now start questioning the old system, and the way their

Unknown: 00:20:56

parents and grandparents used to approach things. And now this

Unknown: 00:21:01

generation,

Unknown: 00:21:03

or it's not really generational, but a lot of people start waking

Unknown: 00:21:07

up and see No, I want I want to follow my, my passion and my

Unknown: 00:21:12

heart, instead of being forced into something that is not going

Unknown: 00:21:17

to serve me

Unknown: 00:21:19

in the long run. Thank you so much for sharing, this isn't all

Unknown: 00:21:23

the right language, right? Does it serve me? Yeah, so I want to

Unknown: 00:21:28

throw the suggestion out there, the the future is not going to

Unknown: 00:21:32

be better than the present, the future is just going to be

Unknown: 00:21:36

different. Yes, it's just going to be a different and different

Unknown: 00:21:41

experience than what is now the way it is now. And if we can

Unknown: 00:21:45

hold that in the mind, we take the emotional energy out of the

Unknown: 00:21:49

current reality, we don't have to describe the current

Unknown: 00:21:54

situation or the current reality as bad or in some negative

Unknown: 00:21:57

context. But as soon as we find ourselves saying that the future

Unknown: 00:22:01

is going to be better, when I have a certain amount of money

Unknown: 00:22:05

in the bank, I'll be able to or I'll get to do whatever, when I

Unknown: 00:22:10

find that spouse of my dreams, or a new relationship that I

Unknown: 00:22:14

would just love, then I can be a certain way, when I finally

Unknown: 00:22:19

let's say, lose 30 pounds or something, I can become healthy

Unknown: 00:22:23

or have that healthful experience.

Unknown: 00:22:26

The truth in the quantum physical reality is that we need

Unknown: 00:22:29

to be it now we need to act as if that desired result actually

Unknown: 00:22:35

already exists. And we actually have to do it in our

Unknown: 00:22:39

imagination. First, everything that has ever been created has

Unknown: 00:22:44

been created twice, once in the imagination. And once in the

Unknown: 00:22:49

physical, three dimensional reality, think of a car or a

Unknown: 00:22:53

building, or anything, look at any example, it was first

Unknown: 00:22:58

created, in the mind of someone before it actually manifested in

Unknown: 00:23:04

the three dimensional experience. Yeah, well, and as

Unknown: 00:23:07

soon as you say, it's gonna get better in the future, you're

Unknown: 00:23:11

actually saying that right now, it's bad, and you have

Unknown: 00:23:14

resistance, and you don't want this. And it's a lot of energy

Unknown: 00:23:18

going into the don't want. And if you cannot imagine the

Unknown: 00:23:25

goodness already in your life, if the universe just throws you

Unknown: 00:23:31

that partner,

Unknown: 00:23:34

you know, in front of your feet, you will not believe that you

Unknown: 00:23:37

deserve this. If you haven't imagined that before. If you

Unknown: 00:23:41

haven't been in that energy of receiving before you will reject

Unknown: 00:23:47

it, even though it's right in front of you. So there's a lot

Unknown: 00:23:51

of things that we can do already with ourselves in meditation, or

Unknown: 00:23:57

however you choose to, to visualize your future.

Unknown: 00:24:03

And that's very empowering to know like, this is incredible

Unknown: 00:24:08

that, yeah, you can read tons of books, you can attend lots of

Unknown: 00:24:12

lectures, but you can also start imagining things and

Unknown: 00:24:17

visualizing. And that's the first big step already.

Unknown: 00:24:23

So I'd like to I'd like to share just the four creator stances

Unknown: 00:24:28

right, because a lot of people listening might not know what a

Unknown: 00:24:31

creator stance sounds like. There's so in the problem

Unknown: 00:24:36

solving reality and if I say back out of the problems Onra

Unknown: 00:24:39

and take the creative stance, what does that even mean? What

Unknown: 00:24:43

does that even sound like? So it sounds like this. I choose to

Unknown: 00:24:47

live my true nature and purpose. Wherever you find yourself

Unknown: 00:24:51

whatever past experience you've had whatever has been traumatic

Unknown: 00:24:54

or abusive or whatever. From this moment.

Unknown: 00:24:59

You're

Unknown: 00:25:00

power rests in your choice.

Unknown: 00:25:04

That is the only power that we have in the human experience.

Unknown: 00:25:08

When you think about it from the moment you wake up to the moment

Unknown: 00:25:10

you go to sleep at night, it is one choice after another, it's

Unknown: 00:25:13

one decision after another and all decisions have a call it a

Unknown: 00:25:16

consequence or an outcome. Choices produce results. So when

Unknown: 00:25:21

you choose, I choose to live my true nature and purpose. I

Unknown: 00:25:26

choose to be the predominant creative force in my life. What

Unknown: 00:25:29

does that mean? I'm not so reactive. I'm not responding all

Unknown: 00:25:33

the time, I choose to be the predominant creative force in my

Unknown: 00:25:37

life by focusing on what I want, not on what I don't want. Write

Unknown: 00:25:44

a simple choice of I choose to live the life I love. If I ask

Unknown: 00:25:49

most people, what would the life that you love look like? They're

Unknown: 00:25:54

like, I don't know. It's because you haven't any. You have not

Unknown: 00:25:57

spent any time even contemplating what a life that

Unknown: 00:26:03

you would absolutely love. And I like to think of my average

Unknown: 00:26:06

perfect week. What am I doing on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,

Unknown: 00:26:09

Thursday, Friday? And what are those days comprised of? What

Unknown: 00:26:13

does my work look like? What does my family life look like?

Unknown: 00:26:15

What does my love life look like? What does my health look

Unknown: 00:26:18

like in those aspects? What does my average perfect week look

Unknown: 00:26:23

like? Feel like tests taste like smell like what am I doing in

Unknown: 00:26:29

this thing called a life that I love? Right? Another one,

Unknown: 00:26:32

because a lot of people are challenged with health issues,

Unknown: 00:26:36

you know, choosing just to be healthy and vital. And you be

Unknown: 00:26:40

you may be suffering from cardiovascular disease, or

Unknown: 00:26:43

diabetes, or obesity, or, you know, bone loss or dementia or

Unknown: 00:26:48

any I mean, there's so many things that are affecting our

Unknown: 00:26:51

physiology. The choice cannot be Oh, I'm going to fix that. Or

Unknown: 00:26:56

I'm going to beat that. Or I'm, let's say I'm going to beat

Unknown: 00:26:58

cancer or something. It needs to step out of the problem solving

Unknown: 00:27:02

reality and mentally visualizing infinite health, infinite

Unknown: 00:27:08

vitality, focusing on what you do want the experience that you

Unknown: 00:27:12

would just love to experience for no other reason than you

Unknown: 00:27:17

want, you would love to experience that. And when we

Unknown: 00:27:20

focus that energy on what we want, not on fixing the problem

Unknown: 00:27:24

that we find ourselves, we just kind of look at the problem and

Unknown: 00:27:27

say, Okay, that's just what is now we become kind of a little

Unknown: 00:27:30

bit emotionally unattached from that, because we know we create

Unknown: 00:27:33

our emotions, we create our thoughts. Ultimately, they are

Unknown: 00:27:36

illusions, and they're not real, although they feel real.

Unknown: 00:27:41

Through our power of choice, and choosing what we love choosing

Unknown: 00:27:44

what we want, we shift that focus in that direction. And we

Unknown: 00:27:48

allow we allow the quantum physical reality of the

Unknown: 00:27:51

universe, to change what we experience, and what what really

Unknown: 00:27:57

shifts, it is the changing of the identity. It's really, you

Unknown: 00:28:00

know, I choose to live my true nature and purpose, which is to

Unknown: 00:28:04

I am living my true nature and purpose, right, I choose to

Unknown: 00:28:08

create the life that I love, I am living the life that I love.

Unknown: 00:28:13

And it's like you have this field of infinite possibilities.

Unknown: 00:28:17

And your focus is choosing one of those possibilities to be

Unknown: 00:28:22

drawn into your present moment. And as soon as that possibility

Unknown: 00:28:26

comes into the present moment, and it moves into the past, the

Unknown: 00:28:30

past becomes evidence. And that's where the I am statement

Unknown: 00:28:34

comes in, right. So most of the personal development movement

Unknown: 00:28:38

has always been trying to change the subconscious programming

Unknown: 00:28:42

from the conscious mind, meaning positive mental attitude,

Unknown: 00:28:47

affirmations, the law of attraction, the secret, all

Unknown: 00:28:50

these different things. They're trying to approach the dilemma

Unknown: 00:28:55

of less pain and more satisfaction or getting the

Unknown: 00:28:57

results that I want from the conscious mind. And what I'm

Unknown: 00:29:01

going to share with you is if we go to the superconscious mind,

Unknown: 00:29:04

and we come into the subconscious program from the

Unknown: 00:29:06

superconscious aspect, we don't need to know the details of

Unknown: 00:29:10

what's wrong. We don't need to know the what for the How come,

Unknown: 00:29:15

we just focus and ask for what we want. And we ask for this

Unknown: 00:29:19

update to the subconscious program. And that shifts the

Unknown: 00:29:23

identity and when the identity shifts from I'm not good enough

Unknown: 00:29:26

to I am good enough. Like you said earlier, I will recognize

Unknown: 00:29:30

that person standing in front of me as the fulfillment of the

Unknown: 00:29:35

relationship that I've been desiring. But if the identity

Unknown: 00:29:38

never shifts, you won't even recognize it. If it's standing

Unknown: 00:29:43

right in front of you. The possibility will not even have

Unknown: 00:29:46

been drawn into that present moment. This is why it's so

Unknown: 00:29:50

important to really get a little bit contemplative here or

Unknown: 00:29:55

reflective and really understanding what is it that

Unknown: 00:29:58

you truly desire

Unknown: 00:30:00

In your life, what is it what you truly want, and not based on

Unknown: 00:30:05

what other people want for you? This is the dilemma with social

Unknown: 00:30:08

media right now. We, many people live their life on likes and

Unknown: 00:30:14

shares, and they live vicariously through other

Unknown: 00:30:18

people's posts. And, you know, they see the best of someone

Unknown: 00:30:23

else's life. And they don't know what to choose. This creates the

Unknown: 00:30:28

confusion, I think in the male perspective, sometimes what does

Unknown: 00:30:31

it even mean to be a man?

Unknown: 00:30:34

I'm here to tell you that it doesn't mean it doesn't matter

Unknown: 00:30:37

what society the culture is telling you about what it means

Unknown: 00:30:40

to be a man, I want men to get into their own being and decide

Unknown: 00:30:46

for themselves. Who are you? Who actually are you? And who were

Unknown: 00:30:51

you created to be? And we have to answer that question for

Unknown: 00:30:55

ourselves individually, and then choose from that place as to

Unknown: 00:31:01

what we want what we would love to have in our life. Because we

Unknown: 00:31:06

cannot make decisions based on consensus, or process of

Unknown: 00:31:10

elimination, or choose by default. Those are not effective

Unknown: 00:31:15

ways to choose the reality that we would love to experience.

Unknown: 00:31:19

Yeah, yeah, no, this, this is

Unknown: 00:31:24

incredible to hear this from you and to, to really see how men

Unknown: 00:31:32

must be struggling just as much as women and, and then there's

Unknown: 00:31:36

another thing, when you think about the person realizing,

Unknown: 00:31:40

okay, this is who I am.

Unknown: 00:31:42

But my family is not going to accept me, you know, the

Unknown: 00:31:45

belonging, all of a sudden is being threatened, because now

Unknown: 00:31:50

you're not in the equality suit anymore. You are a person with a

Unknown: 00:31:56

heart, a passion, a desire, and you have to still go for it,

Unknown: 00:32:01

even though you will feel lonely at times, and having to walk

Unknown: 00:32:06

alone and

Unknown: 00:32:08

trust that you will connect with people on that path with the

Unknown: 00:32:12

same mission with same values. But I feel it's not only the the

Unknown: 00:32:18

pressure from society, it's also that feeling or but I want to be

Unknown: 00:32:22

long. And if I follow my passion, I will be rejected

Unknown: 00:32:26

maybe. And

Unknown: 00:32:28

it's very scary, but like you say, it's so worth it. And it's

Unknown: 00:32:31

so necessary in order to create strong societies again,

Unknown: 00:32:39

when it comes to, like fears, like I mean, you told us that

Unknown: 00:32:45

you went through divorce, and it was because of infidelity for

Unknown: 00:32:49

you to go back out there after you healed and to trust again,

Unknown: 00:32:56

and to not approach your new partner with Oh my God, I don't

Unknown: 00:33:00

want this to happen.

Unknown: 00:33:02

To me one more time, like, were you like very conscious about

Unknown: 00:33:09

that? Like, did that fear come up? And then how did you manage

Unknown: 00:33:16

to approach the situation with your heart and not with your

Unknown: 00:33:20

fear driven ego? Let's say?

Unknown: 00:33:24

Yeah, so when I was in the midst of marriage, you know, I was

Unknown: 00:33:26

completely faithful and loyal, and everything was walled off,

Unknown: 00:33:31

there were no other options, except for the relationship that

Unknown: 00:33:34

I was in. And the family that I had. And, you know, I was in the

Unknown: 00:33:37

role of provider for that family unit, right and doing everything

Unknown: 00:33:43

that I was, quote unquote, supposed to do, when new

Unknown: 00:33:47

information came to light. And you know, I had these issues in

Unknown: 00:33:51

year three of our marriage and sort of kind of fix that got

Unknown: 00:33:56

over it for gave it because I truly made a commitment to that

Unknown: 00:33:59

one person. And for me, it was a choice of forever, right? And

Unknown: 00:34:05

you know, it takes two to tango, right? Two people have to be in

Unknown: 00:34:08

that same mindset. And when your partner is not in that mindset,

Unknown: 00:34:13

or they have other things that they're trying to resolve, at

Unknown: 00:34:16

some point, you have to make a decision, you know, because at

Unknown: 00:34:21

25 years into our relationship, it was like, Okay, I got another

Unknown: 00:34:24

whole half a life to go, and am I going to live that life, kind

Unknown: 00:34:30

of sacrificing myself not having the experience of intimacy that

Unknown: 00:34:35

I choose? Or being in that

Unknown: 00:34:39

loving relationship, you know, that I truly know what it's

Unknown: 00:34:43

supposed to look like, I know what it's supposed to feel like

Unknown: 00:34:45

or not even supposed to, but I know what I want. I know what I

Unknown: 00:34:49

wanted it to be. And it wasn't. So you're right. I mean, you can

Unknown: 00:34:54

make the decision that point of not risking it again, not going

Unknown: 00:34:58

out there again.

Unknown: 00:35:00

I'm shutting down, and just hey, it's safer to play it in a pain

Unknown: 00:35:05

free zone. But it was an opening to, you know, I might get hurt

Unknown: 00:35:10

again, I may not initially have the experience that I want. And

Unknown: 00:35:16

I'm okay with that, because I've experienced pain before. And

Unknown: 00:35:20

when you look at emotions, like fear, or pain, or anxiety, or

Unknown: 00:35:24

depression, or any of these things, I would like you to

Unknown: 00:35:28

notice what they are, they have a beginning, a middle and an

Unknown: 00:35:32

end. And they kind of flow up and they have a peak, and they

Unknown: 00:35:37

kind of go down. And if we can practice being an observer of

Unknown: 00:35:41

our emotions, kind of take that 3040 50,000 foot level on our

Unknown: 00:35:46

life, and the circumstances that are in our life. And we we

Unknown: 00:35:51

detach from the labeling of what is, and we'd become just the

Unknown: 00:35:55

observer of what it is, we basically just see it for what

Unknown: 00:35:59

it is. But we don't attach the judgment, the heaviness of the

Unknown: 00:36:04

judgment to it. And that is the I should statements or should

Unknown: 00:36:08

have, or should have been a different way, or I could have

Unknown: 00:36:13

done this or I could have done that. And we are really good at

Unknown: 00:36:16

picking up a stick and beating ourselves over our own head of

Unknown: 00:36:20

things that we could have done.

Unknown: 00:36:23

And that's focusing on the problem.

Unknown: 00:36:26

And many times when we do that, we're focused on a problem that

Unknown: 00:36:29

we cannot solve, because it's in the past.

Unknown: 00:36:33

It's just not gonna happen, right. And so if we can

Unknown: 00:36:38

practice, like everything is like a muscle imaginations, like

Unknown: 00:36:41

a muscle, you have to practice a little bit you have to desire

Unknown: 00:36:44

and have the intention, to be able to imagine to be able to

Unknown: 00:36:48

visualize to be able to feel in your imagination, right, because

Unknown: 00:36:52

the mind does not know the difference between reality and

Unknown: 00:36:56

imagination. And we're recording this right now in Olympic

Unknown: 00:37:00

season. And I think of the athletes of how much time they

Unknown: 00:37:03

spend, in their mind, visualizing breaking a new world

Unknown: 00:37:08

record winning the gold medal, beating their competition by

Unknown: 00:37:11

1/100 of a second. And just the mental exercise is more than the

Unknown: 00:37:18

physical exercise of the time spent in the pool or the time

Unknown: 00:37:21

spent on the track or all the physical activity, they spend

Unknown: 00:37:25

more time imagining, winning in their mind. Seeing seeing the

Unknown: 00:37:32

finish line, seeing the audience erupt, seeing themselves

Unknown: 00:37:36

standing on the metal podium, visualizing themselves in that

Unknown: 00:37:40

end result of what they work so hard for right for years of work

Unknown: 00:37:45

to get to an Olympic game. And in every day, that

Unknown: 00:37:48

visualization, that passion, that that longing for winning,

Unknown: 00:37:53

and being that gold medalist right.

Unknown: 00:37:56

Well, why don't we do that in our own personal lives? Why

Unknown: 00:37:59

don't we do that, in imagining an amazing relationship with a

Unknown: 00:38:04

partner? That is everything you want that partner to be? Right?

Unknown: 00:38:09

Why do we not imagine an experience of abundance and

Unknown: 00:38:13

having more than enough in our financial situations? Why do we

Unknown: 00:38:19

not imagine ourselves as the epitome of health and vitality?

Unknown: 00:38:23

And do it in our mind first, because we need to become it in

Unknown: 00:38:27

order to see it? Right? So we do that first step is to take that

Unknown: 00:38:32

high altitude view on our life and just see what is and take

Unknown: 00:38:38

the responsibility that everything that is, has been a

Unknown: 00:38:42

creation of our own identity. And it's not bad wrong, right or

Unknown: 00:38:48

anything like that, that what is is what is what is is just what

Unknown: 00:38:52

is what has happened is just what has happened. And it's from

Unknown: 00:38:57

this moment of choice, to choose something different. To choose

Unknown: 00:39:04

something from a place where we choose from what we really love,

Unknown: 00:39:08

not what we have to not where we should have not well my parents

Unknown: 00:39:11

are going to pray with my friends are going to approve all

Unknown: 00:39:13

this stuff that's so regular in our choosing reality, but to

Unknown: 00:39:19

really back up and say this is what is

Unknown: 00:39:25

not broken. There's nothing for me to fix. Spring from this

Unknown: 00:39:30

moment forward. Just as I've chosen in the past, I get to

Unknown: 00:39:35

choose now.

Unknown: 00:39:37

And I really have to get clear on what it is I would love to

Unknown: 00:39:42

experience.

Unknown: 00:39:44

And as you can feel it already that takes the emotion out of it

Unknown: 00:39:47

right. Imagine just sitting along the banks of a river and

Unknown: 00:39:51

you watch the water go down the river and maybe there's some

Unknown: 00:39:54

debris in the water. There's a branch floating down there's a

Unknown: 00:39:58

raft maybe floating down there.

Unknown: 00:40:00

Some things that could attract your attention, things that you

Unknown: 00:40:03

could investigate. But when you have that observer stance,

Unknown: 00:40:07

you're just watching what is and you see it floating by and it

Unknown: 00:40:11

may make you feel a certain way certain emotions might erupt

Unknown: 00:40:15

could be a past experience that's floating down the river,

Unknown: 00:40:18

and you just observe it for what it is, we don't have to get

Unknown: 00:40:21

attached, we don't have to follow the emotion that comes

Unknown: 00:40:25

up, we just see it for what it is, let the emotion come full

Unknown: 00:40:29

on, let it let it immerse yourself if you're angry, feel

Unknown: 00:40:32

the anger. If you're sad, feel the sadness, if you're anxious,

Unknown: 00:40:36

feel that anxiousness and let it pass through you because the

Unknown: 00:40:39

more energy that we push on it to keep it away, the more it

Unknown: 00:40:44

grows, the bigger it gets, the more serious it gets. And I'd

Unknown: 00:40:47

like everyone to just try this strategy. The next time you're

Unknown: 00:40:50

in a situation of intense emotion, I'm gonna say feel it

Unknown: 00:40:54

fully. Allow yourself to just be immersed in that emotion, you'll

Unknown: 00:41:00

see that it has a beginning, a middle and an end, it will

Unknown: 00:41:03

dissipate, it will go through you, you will feel it in your

Unknown: 00:41:08

body, you will feel the emotion. But when you don't resist it,

Unknown: 00:41:12

and you just let it go, you'll see that it dissipates and falls

Unknown: 00:41:16

off and it goes away. And then you can be that observer again.

Unknown: 00:41:20

And just notice what is notice the way it is now. And the more

Unknown: 00:41:26

you ground yourself and you practice being in that place,

Unknown: 00:41:29

the more you're in a place of choosing that which you would

Unknown: 00:41:33

really love to experience.

Unknown: 00:41:37

This is so beautiful. I'm so grateful that we connected and

Unknown: 00:41:43

that you share this with our audience today. It is

Unknown: 00:41:49

lovely how you say going into high altitude, I love to say go

Unknown: 00:41:54

into birds perspective, it's exactly the same. And we have to

Unknown: 00:42:00

Yeah, observe ourselves a little more and take our emotions

Unknown: 00:42:05

seriously, but don't engage and attached just like you said, to

Unknown: 00:42:11

an nth degree because this is when you get Yeah, reactive and

Unknown: 00:42:16

confused and lost and frustrated. And yeah, man, this

Unknown: 00:42:21

is so wonderful. I feel the time is totally running away. We are

Unknown: 00:42:27

at minute 43 already. And we still haven't talked about the

Unknown: 00:42:31

five steps of the magnetic run, I can run those through you real

Unknown: 00:42:37

fast. Right? And I was I was just I was gonna suggest we end

Unknown: 00:42:42

here. And we have another episode about that to really

Unknown: 00:42:46

elaborate if you are open to this if your schedule allows.

Unknown: 00:42:53

But for today, for people who are

Unknown: 00:42:59

in the COVID mess, financial distress,

Unknown: 00:43:03

a lot of negative emotions. Social media consumption is at a

Unknown: 00:43:10

peak right now I feel and the comparisons. What would be two

Unknown: 00:43:16

things that you would like people to know, like in a

Unknown: 00:43:20

nutshell, to take away from today's episode to feel better

Unknown: 00:43:26

to feel more empowered. And just yeah, a calmer one is Yeah,

Unknown: 00:43:33

number one is we need to quiet the noise. Yes, this is step

Unknown: 00:43:37

number one, you need to create some quiet time where you can

Unknown: 00:43:42

actually listen to your own voice. Many people have trouble

Unknown: 00:43:47

being in themselves. I mean, in some sense of silence. We do a

Unknown: 00:43:51

lot of talking, but we don't do a lot of listening. And that

Unknown: 00:43:55

superconscious side of yourself,

Unknown: 00:44:00

you know has information for you specifically. But if we never

Unknown: 00:44:05

listen, we never, you know, delve into an ask what's right

Unknown: 00:44:09

for us. And we're always in the confusion of the noise. We can't

Unknown: 00:44:14

hear that message.

Unknown: 00:44:17

So that's step number one is to really have some personal quiet

Unknown: 00:44:21

time. And the benefit of that is no matter what the chaos is in

Unknown: 00:44:25

the world, no matter what is going on in the world. You can

Unknown: 00:44:29

create the reality that you love, you can create the reality

Unknown: 00:44:33

that you desire. So you can actually walk through the midst

Unknown: 00:44:37

of chaos and be unaffected. What if that was possible? What if

Unknown: 00:44:41

that was a reality that you could experience? would you love

Unknown: 00:44:44

to experience that? And so everybody has to answer that for

Unknown: 00:44:47

themselves. But if you never contemplate it, you're never

Unknown: 00:44:50

going to have an answer. You're never going to explore that

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field of possibilities in what you would love what you could so

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some quiet time is the first

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thing. The second thing is to create a habit of truly valuing

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yourself.

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Because it's the oxygen mask thing on a airplane, right, you

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put your oxygen mask on first, before you put it on whoever

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you're traveling with kids or whatever it is, we have to take

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a stance in that our mental health, our well being, you

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know, our optimization and who we are, is a priority. And you

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have to put your physical, spiritual, emotional well being

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in a priority position, it is not a waste of time, it is not

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subservient to other things in your life, it is primary.

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And don't feel guilty for it. And no for taking time for

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yourself. If if you're not good in your own being and you're not

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clear, what what good are you really to anyone else.

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You have to shore up your own foundation, you have to be built

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on a solid ground in order for you to do and be that which

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would you would love to be in this three dimensional

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experience this holographic movie that we live in, right so

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that when you take the world and you look at what's going on,

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you can get depressed very quickly. You can get emotionally

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upset very quickly.

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And unless you take the time to ground yourself in becoming

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consciously aware of who you are, and what you want,

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you're going to have pain. And so in order to minimize the pain

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and to have more satisfaction and go from satisfaction, even

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to mediocrity and from mediocrity to complete pleasure,

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right? It's a progression. You have to do the basics. And you

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have to do some of the basics consistently. And I'm not

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purporting a certain let's say form of meditation or a certain

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thing. You need to find what resonates with you.

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Such a beautiful closing of this episode, like from the bottom of

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my heart. I'm, I'm so grateful for connecting with you and for

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everything you shared here. I know we brought a lot of value

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to our listeners here. And I'm excited to have you back on the

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show and talk more about the five steps of the magnetic mind.

Unknown: 00:47:39

Thank you so much.

Unknown: 00:47:41

Thank you. Thank you