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Episode #138 - Finding Love In All The Right Places (For All Parts Of Your Life): An Interview With Navi Bliss
Episode 1431st August 2024 • Speaking From The Heart • Joshua D. Smith
00:00:00 00:49:05

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Finding love means that you have to also understand what you are seeking. While many people may be fortunate to find this kind of experience early in their lives, others have to overcome many obstacles, including their own trials, to develop themselves to be capable of being desirable and "hard to get" on their own terms. How we each go about it, whether it is in our own personal relationships or the passions that we choose to pursue, means that we have to put in the hard work to accomplish this task. Today's guest, Navi Bliss, shares her unique story and the Four Pillars of Confidence that help anyone to achieve these exciting opportunities to match with someone (or their passions) that they wish to have. However, be forewarned - it is not as easy as it may seem. Through trial and error, the opportunities that we can explore in our lives can be sought with a clear focus, but also the confidence, to achieve relationships that will help us to move forward only if we are willing to work on ourselves to achieve our dreams and aspirations that are in our imagination to become reality.

Guest Bio

Navi is the demystifier of personal relationships, cultivator of confidence, certified love and relationship coach, certified inspirational speaker and host of the Blissful Love podcast. She is a contributing author in two #1 bestselling books: Our Yellow Brick Road and Healing and Growth. Growing up with a mother who was physically and emotionally abusive left Navi with a tattered sense of self and low self-esteem. This sent her on a path of horrible, toxic and abusive relationships until she reached her breaking point in 2016 after walking away from an abusive relationship. After going on a healing journey, Navi was able to flip the script on her own life and is now determined to help others to do the same. Navi’s mission is to help people fall “head over heels” in love with themselves so that they can effortlessly attract the life and love of their dreams. Navi uses her stories of overcoming childhood abuse and neglect to inspire others that anything is possible.

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/navi.bliss.5

@navibliss on Instagram

@navibliss on Twitter

Website: https://www.naviblisscoaching.com

Visit Our Website: https://speaking-from-the-heart.captivate.fm/

  • Healing and Growth Book (https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Growth-Inspiring-Stories-Transformation/dp/1637924011) - At this link, you can purchase the book Navi discussed during the show as it relates to a story that she wrote as a contributing author.
  • Our Yellow Brick Road Book (https://www.amazon.com/Our-Yellow-Brick-Road-Storytelling/dp/1990700063/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2RVJD1QWSINGZ&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Kw5zGvpkTlrHtJ5qXqpPoPFl3CmrBfI-fO-dvTuQH-UaPobVOcFYpSj27dZIIfF-kD9K5ANJEcEUMfVTup869q3Pew1T4laTHxuvQskEqvk.xc0VRmxOLPqp3imxKpDTY2vaFiTaox6gpklWQcxjtts&dib_tag=se&keywords=our+yellow+brick+road&qid=1722119529&s=books&sprefix=our+yellow+brick+road%2Cstripbooks%2C76&sr=1-2) - Navi is featured as one of the contributing authors as it relates to powerful storytelling in this book, which was also discussed in today's show.

Visit Our Business Website: https://www.yourspeakingvoice.biz

Support The Mission Of The Business! Donate Here: https://speaking-from-the-heart.captivate.fm/support

Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs

Transcripts

Intro:

Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

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determination all converge into

an amazing, heartfelt experience.

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This is Speaking From The Heart.

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Joshua: Welcome back to episode

number 138 of Speaking from the Heart.

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Today, we have Navi Bliss as our guest,

and Navi is the demystifier of personal

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relationships, cultivator of confidence,

certified love and relationship coach,

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certified inspirational speaker, and

host of the Blissful Love podcast.

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She is a contributing author in

two number one best selling books.

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One is called, Our Yellow Brick Road, and

the other is called Healing and Growth.

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Growing up with a mother who was

physically and emotionally abusive

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left Navi with a tattered sense

of self and low self esteem.

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This sent her on a path of a horrible,

toxic, and abusive set of relationships,

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until she reached her breaking

point in:

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from another abusive relationship.

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After going on a healing journey,

Navi was able to flip the script on

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her own life and is now determined

to help others to do the same.

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Navi's mission is to help people fall

head over heels in love with themselves

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so they can effortlessly attract

the life and love of their dreams.

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Navi uses her stories of overcoming

childhood abuse and neglect to inspire

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others that anything is possible.

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The wholesome aspect of this episode

comes from the fact that we have all

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kinds of ways in which we can go through

life loving one another, but if we

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keep on repeating the same havoc, the

same terrible types of relationships,

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even as my guest's bio even points

out, we're never going to be able to

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overcome those stigmas; those repeating

patterns that always happen in our lives.

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She talks about four pillars, which we'll

talk about at the end of the episode,

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but it's something that I find that

we open ourselves up to the unlimited

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potential because we're able to figure

out inside of ourselves that we need

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to work through difficult situations,

overcome obstacles, and hold ourselves

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accountable that we have that ability,

that vision, to go to the next level.

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Never say it's impossible, because even

if you repeat it over and over again,

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even if you think that you find yourself

insane, especially going through all

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these different types of situations,

just know that you will get to the other

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side, especially like my guest has today.

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But with that, let's go to the episode.

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Alright, we're here with Navi Bliss.

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Navi!

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Thanks for sharing your

heart with us today.

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Navi: I'm really excited to

be here and share my story.

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Joshua: I am too.

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I'm super excited about not only the

things that we're going to talk about

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today, but you have a interesting business

in itself that I am looking forward to

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hearing about, but I let the audience

know a little bit about your background,

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Navi, but I'm really am curious to

start out with this first question.

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Why, oh why, would nobody love you,

because that's just seems so sad, and I

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think that you are a very lovely lady, and

I'm really saying that because I'm looking

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at you, and I feel that for many people,

sometimes finding someone else is very

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tough but you do your work around that

sort of playing field, so I'm wondering if

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you could tell a little bit more of your

expanded story, and also share a little

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bit about why you decided to help others.

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Navi: Absolutely, so my own journey

started, actually, I would say in

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childhood, because I grew up in a home

with a mother who is physically and

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emotionally abusive towards me, and so

my entire life, all I remember is wanting

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to be loved, and wanting validation,

because I did not receive that at all.

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All I received was everything negative

you can imagine, and so I just never

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developed that self worth and that self

esteem, and that, of course, pushed me

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to seek it anywhere I could outside of

myself, and then I got married when I

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was very young, and when I met my ex

husband, I thought, "Okay, this is it.

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Someone chose me.

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Someone loves me.

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Not everything that my mom said about

me is wrong, and now I'm validated.",

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and then he had a child with somebody

else while we were married, and

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of course that came crashing down,

and that's what happens when you

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outsource your worth to other people.

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It can just come crashing down around

you, and So if you say I had a negative

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self esteem of negative 100 before I

started, it doubled, so it was at least

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negative 200 after that happened, and

of course, that sent me on an even worse

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path of just seeking love anywhere that

I could, and I ended up into domestic

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violence relationships, back to back,

and after I got out of the second one,

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because that is actually very dangerous

when you're actually trying to leave

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a domestic violence relationship,

and when I got out of that, that

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was a grace, and I realized, "Okay.

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This can never, ever happen to me

again, because if it does, I don't

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even know if I'm going to survive

it, so I have to figure this out.

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I have to figure out what is going on, why

I keep ending up in these situations.",

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and I realized that what had happened

to me in the past wasn't my fault, but

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I was an adult now and I was deciding

what I was allowing into my life, and

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I was allowing people into my life that

were treating me very, very poorly, and

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that sent me on a healing journey myself.

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It included therapy; included coaching,

and through that, I actually learned that

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all of this love that I'd been seeking

outside of me, I actually had the capacity

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to give it to myself, that it was possible

for me to self validate and for me to feel

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good and just wake up every day and feel

good, and then through that, I actually

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started to attract differently because

I was radiating something different.

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I was putting something out there,

and I found my passion and purpose,

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because I know that there are so many

other people that are also struggling

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with their self worth and confidence,

and as a result are in really, really

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terrible relationships in their life,

and I'm passionate about helping people

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to step into their worth, to step into

their magnetism so that they can attract

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everything that they want in their life

effortlessly, because attraction is the

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same, whether you want to attract your

soulmate, or whether you want to attract

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your soulmate client and your business,

and it all starts with you, so that

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is the beauty of the work that I do.

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It's not dependent on anyone else.

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It's dependent on you, and you change

and your whole world is going to change.

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Joshua: You literally just told my story

of how I got to this point, because I

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realized that I wasn't loving myself

for the longest time, and I also have

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heard from many people that have seen me

grown, even since I opened this business,

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even started this podcast, "Josh.

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You're really doing your calling.

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You're doing amazing things.

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Seems like you're loving yourself.",

and I'm like, ":

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That is exactly the truth."

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What was the switch for you, because

you said something about going through

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two domestic violence relationships.

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so first off, I'm glad that you made it

through those relationships, because those

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can be very seriously dangerous like you

said, I have had guests on the show that

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have shared that sort of past experience

and how they've grown from it, so I'm glad

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that you're here to be able to share your

story, and I know that for many people,

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it could be very tough to do so, so for

you to be this courageous to be able to

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do that, I just want to give you kudos

for sure, but how do you help people if

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they are going through this process of

just not loving themselves, or they're

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not loving what they're doing in life?

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Is there something that you

have found to be really helpful?

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You said something about

magnetism, and I'm curious if

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there's a connection with that.

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Navi: Yeah, so I have a system that

I created, and the foundation of that

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system is four pillars of confidence, and

I love to start with these four pillars

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because these are things that are really

great for someone that is actually coming

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out of trauma, and they're not ready to

do affirmations, or to do those types

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of things, right, so my four pillars.

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The first one is to live your passions,

because you cannot be confident, you

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cannot feel good about yourself, if

you're not living your passions, because

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if you're bored with your life, that's

going to radiate out as boredom, so

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maybe you're stuck in a job that you

have to do, because you have bills to

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pay, right, and you're not passionate

about it, which is absolutely okay, but

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you have to be able to integrate your

passions into your life, because imagine

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you're out on a date with somebody,

or you're meeting up with friends,

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and they ask you, "How's your week?"

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"Well, I went to work, and

then I came home, and I

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watched TV, and I went to bed."

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That's not going to radiate confidence.

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You're not going to feel good about

sharing that with other people.

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Other people aren't going

to be interested in you.

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That is not magnetizing, but if

you're living your passions, and

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several times a week you're doing

activities that you're passionate

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about, and it could be anything.

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Maybe you're playing a sport.

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Maybe you're taking a dance

class, it could be knitting.

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It could be joining a video game group.

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It actually doesn't matter

what your passions are.

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One, you're starting to live a life that

you feel excited about, and when you talk

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about that, whatever it is, even if the

other person isn't interested in that,

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but you're talking about it from a place

of enthusiasm, you become more magnetic.

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You become more interesting to the other

person that's now listening to you.

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Also, you're going to find your community

that you gel with when you're doing

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these activities that you love, and in

dating, also, you can't play hard to get.

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You have to be hard to get.

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Now, if you have a very full life, full

of activities that you're loving, you

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are going to be hard to get because

someone can't book you at the last

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minute, because you have an athletic

practice that you have to go to, or you

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have something else that you're doing

and you're already booked in, and someone

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has to find time and plan ahead and do

all of these things with you, right?

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Then my second pillar of

confidence is to live your values.

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One of the ways that I define confidence

and worth is to be at peace within

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yourself, so there's parts of you

that aren't fighting, because you

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can't be confident when you're not in

full alignment, and this happens when

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you're not living your values, so when

I say this, most of the time people

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are like, "Of course I'm living my

values.", but a lot of times, people

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have values that are in conflict

with other values that they hold.

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One example could be you value financial

success, and then you also value ease,

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and fun, and freedom, and in your pursuit

of financial success, you have come

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up with the idea that you're going to

achieve that through extreme hustle.

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There's no fun, freedom,

and ease in your life.

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These values are in conflict, so either

you have to redefine what success means to

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you, and perhaps it's going to be balance,

perhaps it's going to be adding different

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things to your life, or if you really

love the hustle, some people do, right?

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I'm not here to tell you

what your value should be.

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Maybe you let go of the other values,

because they're not as important to you.

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So you're not in conflict.

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Another example of this could be you

value thinness, but you are not thin.

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With this, you are not going to

value yourself, or feel good about

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yourself, if you're valuing thinness.

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Now you can question this

and you can think about it.

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Is it really thinness?

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Is this something that is super

important to you, or is this

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something that you've taken in,

because society has told you this?

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Could you change it to health, because

valuing health is very different than

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valuing thinness, right, and you can

be doing things to take care of your

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health, without being at your optimum

health, and you can be living within

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your values, and you can start to

feel better about yourself, so find

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the areas of your life where your

values are in conflict so you can

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alleviate that and come into alignment.

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My next one is to cultivate self trust,

and cultivating self trust is really

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important because you cannot love someone

you don't trust, and that includes

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yourself, and when you don't trust

yourself, it's also going to make you a

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very prickly person, because you won't

be able to set boundaries with other

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people, and where people have issues

with self trust is they start making

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these big promises to themselves, and

then they break them every single day.

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An example could be I'm going

to wake up tomorrow, 5 a.

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m., and I'm going to work out for two

hours before I go to work, and then

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tomorrow comes, snooze, snooze, snooze.

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Doesn't happen.

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You feel like garbage.

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You do the same thing the next day.

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You trust yourself even less.

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You start to believe in yourself even

less, and oftentimes you're setting

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these big lofty goals for yourself,

because you're very unhappy where

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you are right now, and you want

180 change in your life overnight.

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Your life doesn't change.

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It doesn't do a 180.

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Change is not like that.

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It's incremental.

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It's always incremental, right?

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Joshua: Mmhmm.

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Navi: But these promises that you're

making and breaking, they're breaking

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this trust you have in yourself.

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They're making you feel worse and

worse, so a lot of times it's just

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distilling it down to something smaller.

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Could you just say, "I'm going to wake

up five minutes earlier and I'm going

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to do 10 pushups?", and then when

you actually do that, you have this

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sense of pride and accomplishment.

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If you do 10 pushups every day for a

week, are you going to look different?

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Is your life going to change?

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No, but you're going to start to build

this sense of pride and accomplishment and

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trust within yourself, and that trust is

going to take you farther, and allow you

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to be able to accomplish more and more.

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Now, the exercise is just one example,

maybe you excel at that, but everybody

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has areas in their life, typically

where they are breaking promises to

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themselves, and they're not cultivating

self trust, so that's something that you

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want to work on, and my last one is to

practice loving kindness to yourself.

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There's four areas where

you have to do this.

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You have to do something for your

spiritual well being every single day.

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You have to do something for your

mental well being every single day.

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You have to do something for your

physical well being every single day,

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and you have to do something for your

aesthetic well being every single

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day, and all of these areas matter.

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You have to put practices in place,

because self worth isn't one of those

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things that you just do it once.

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"I've built my self worth, now I'm good."

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You have to have practices in place

to keep feeling good, and all of these

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areas of your life matter, and they

don't have to be big things, right,

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so for your spiritual well being, if

you practice a religion, you could do

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some sort of activity related to that.

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If you don't, you could go to

a park and hug a tree, right?

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Just connect to something

bigger than yourself, right?

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Take a few moments every single day.

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For your physical health, you could

just wake up every day, and say,

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"I'm going to drink a glass of water.

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Just one glass of water."

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Right now, you're showing yourself that

your physical well being matters, right?

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Then for your mental health, you

could do a two minute meditation.

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You could say an affirmation.

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It could be any variety of things, but

that you incorporate into your day, and

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then the last one is the aesthetic, which

also matters, and I think people had this

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experience during the COVID lockdown.

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I think most people had a number

of days where they didn't shower.

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They wore the same stinky clothes-

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Joshua: Guilty as charged.

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Navi: And they felt like garbage,

because if you're showing up in

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the world like that, you are not

going to feel good about yourself.

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Now, this doesn't mean you have to be

full glam every single day, but you

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have to get up every single day, and

take a certain amount of pride in your

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appearance, like shower, clean clothes,

like the basic stuff where you went

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to the grocery store and you ran into

your neighbor, you're not going to

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be embarrassed, or want to run away.

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You feel comfortable, right, because

all of these things are important if

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you want to start to feel comfortable

in your own skin every single day, and

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then there's a big bonus that happens

when you do all of these things.

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When we put our time and attention towards

something, we naturally start to care

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about it, and I think most people have

had an experience where perhaps, it was

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like a celebrity, or an athlete, like

somebody that they had an obsession over.

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Maybe you still do, right?

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You have this person who you idolize

and love, and part of what makes them so

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special is the time that you're putting

towards them compared to everybody else,

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right, and if people don't believe me, an

exercise I have them do is go to the park

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and find a random insect, and stare at

that insect for an hour, like an ant or

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spider or something, and then see how you

feel after an hour if someone's about to

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step on your ant or to squash your spider.

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You're going to feel some sort of way

and you wouldn't even have noticed this

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insect before, and it's because you just

poured your energy into it for an hour.

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Now just imagine you're practicing

these four pillars and you start

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to pour this energy into yourself.

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That natural confidence, and that

magnetism, is going to start to build up.

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Joshua: Wow.

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That was a lot to share with those four

pillars, but I think those four pillars

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have so much that you have explained

that I think for my listeners, they will

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certainly be able to gain a lot out of,

and I think that for me, especially when

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it comes to love and dating, which some

of my friends listening to this, they know

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that I have sucked so bad with doing that,

and I think part of it too is because not

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only were you saying some of the things

that I was having trouble with, one of the

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biggest things is self trust and actually

practice love and kindness, because when

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I think about all the experiences I've

had, those things have been really the

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worst, and that's because not only was

I not given a great role model, which I

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hate to say it, but my parents weren't

great role models when it comes to that.

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Sorry, mom and dad, but it's the truth,

but the other thing is that I felt like

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I had so much stigma to live up to,

and you mentioned something on your

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website that kind of struck me too, is

that I see all these other people, and

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as I've gotten older, they got married.

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They've had kids.

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I'm like, "What am I doing wrong?",

so I know I have some listeners around

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the world that have that sort of issue.

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What do you say to somebody that is

looking around and seeing all this,

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quote unquote, success with dating as

opposed to, worrying about yourself.

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Is there any advice you would give?

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Navi: Yeah, so There's a couple of

elements to this, so just because

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people are entering into relationships,

and you're seeing everybody around

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you do this, not all of those

people are entering into a happy,

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healthy, harmonious relationships.

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Even in my own social media feed, you

don't know the amount of times that I've

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seen someone post the happiest couple

pic with these long things, notes to each

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other, and then a week later, they're

announcing their divorce, right, so you

303

:

don't actually know what's happening in

someone else's life, so judging yourself

304

:

based on that isn't going to be helpful,

but the other thing is, is to understand

305

:

how attraction works, and how our brains

work, so our brains are survivalistic,

306

:

so they're working for our survival.

307

:

They are not working for our success,

because they have not changed much since

308

:

caveman times, so you are attracted to

what is familiar to you, not as what is

309

:

best for you, and how this happens is

when we think in terms of survival, so

310

:

imagine back in caveman times, there's

this path you're going down to go and

311

:

hunt for food, and there's a bear.

312

:

There's a bear on that path, but it's

a small one and you outran it, and then

313

:

there's like 15 other paths, but you

have no idea what's on those paths.

314

:

Are there bigger bears that can kill you?

315

:

Are there other obstacles that you're

not going to make it through, and

316

:

there could also be no obstacles.

317

:

It could be nothing else, but what your

brain knows is that you can go down

318

:

that same path and you can survive, so

your brain wants you to survive, so it's

319

:

going to keep directing you back towards

that same path so that you survive, and

320

:

this is what happens in relationships,

because a lot of people that struggle

321

:

with relationships, they keep dating

the same person over and over again in

322

:

a different body, and it is because it

is the pattern that they were wired to

323

:

because of trauma that they experienced in

their life, like chaos that they grew up

324

:

with, and you grew up in a chaotic home.

325

:

It doesn't even have to be abusive,

but let's just say your parents had

326

:

a lot of conflict with each other.

327

:

What feels comfortable to you is actually

chaos, because you know that you can

328

:

survive that, so when someone shows up in

your life that is presenting differently

329

:

than chaos, that is going to feel

unnatural to your nervous system, even

330

:

though it's what you want, right, so you

have to become aware of that, and then

331

:

learn to train your nervous system to

become comfortable with what you actually

332

:

want, rather than what you've experienced.

333

:

Joshua: Yeah, and it's almost like getting

on a bicycle and learning how to ride for

334

:

the first time, and then once you know

how to ride, then you know that's muscle

335

:

memory, so like 30 years down the road,

you'll be able to get back on a bike.

336

:

No problem.

337

:

It's the same sort of habit.

338

:

You've already learned how to deal

with it, but it's funny, because

339

:

I have not really done a good

job breaking those things down.

340

:

That is one thing that I still have

yet to work on, and I'm very vulnerable

341

:

on my show, Navi, as you can imagine

already hearing some of the things

342

:

I said, because it's the truth.

343

:

I know I need to work on a lot of things.

344

:

I'm not a perfect coach.

345

:

I know that you're not a perfect coach.

346

:

If there was such a thing as a

perfect coach, I want to meet them.

347

:

I really do.

348

:

Navi: Well, I actually had a mentor tell

me this once, that when you actually

349

:

decide to become a coach, that you

actually open your life up to more

350

:

obstacles, because you cannot help people

through things that you haven't worked

351

:

through yourself, and the more things that

you work through, the greater capacity

352

:

that you have to help other people.

353

:

Joshua: I had a coach when I started out.

354

:

His name is Gary, and Gary, if you're

listening to this, I love you, man.

355

:

Thanks so much for helping me

get my start, but Gary would

356

:

also say the same things.

357

:

He's like, "Dude.

358

:

You're going to find out and figure

out that you got to work through

359

:

all these things, and you're going

to grow so much stronger, and so

360

:

much better, than you are right now,

even opening this.", and I'm like,

361

:

thinking in the back of my head, "Eh.

362

:

Well, we'll cross that

bridge when we get there."

363

:

Well, no, the bridge is already there,

and you're walking over it, and that's

364

:

just what it is, is that you kind of

learn about how to do these things, and

365

:

I think that's so true about the dating

world is that sometimes you just have to

366

:

take a big step forward, but, I want to

just step back from dating for a second,

367

:

because you also deal with entrepreneurs

in that sense, in that realm, too.

368

:

If we were to take this same

conversation, and we would say

369

:

to somebody, "Find your passion.

370

:

This is what you should be doing."

371

:

How do you help them with that?

372

:

Navi: When it comes to your

passion, your passion is a

373

:

thing that you are called to do.

374

:

You are moved to do it.

375

:

You're not doing it because of money.

376

:

It's because you have to do it, right,

and a lot of times where entrepreneurs

377

:

get stuck is they start to believe

that they need another course.

378

:

They need another this, they need

another that, before they can be

379

:

successful, but here's the thing.

380

:

Whatever you're being called to, it's

because you already have the capacity

381

:

to help someone, and it's the thought

that you have to have all the answers

382

:

and your life has to be perfect.

383

:

Your life is never going to be

perfect, right, and you don't have

384

:

to have all of the answers, and most

people don't have the same coach

385

:

that takes them from a to Zed, right?

386

:

What they're looking for is a

coach to take them from A to B.

387

:

You already have that.

388

:

You already have that knowledge, and

it's just about trusting yourself, and

389

:

that you can lead someone from A to B,

and probably by the time they get to

390

:

B, you have made it to C now, and you

can also lead them from B to C, and

391

:

if not, then they're still going to be

appreciative of that journey that they

392

:

went on with you, and they're going to

go and find another mentor that can take

393

:

them to the next step, right, but it's

the same sort of doubt that creeps in

394

:

of, "I have to have all the answers.

395

:

I have to know everything.",

and you never will.

396

:

Joshua: I feel like I am going to have

to go on a date now with a coach to be

397

:

able to figure out where my next step is.

398

:

I'm sorry.

399

:

I just like had that thought

flash across my mind.

400

:

I was like, "Yeah.

401

:

I guess I'm also dating for coaches.",

so for any coach out there that would

402

:

like to help Your Speaking Voice LLC to

get to the next level, I'm interested.

403

:

I have applications to hand out if

you're interested in dating somebody

404

:

like me, and I'm just smiling.

405

:

I know that no one can see this, but

it's almost the same sort of tack, but

406

:

we do have that freedom of choice, and

I think that's really what this boils

407

:

down to is, what kind of choice we make

and not let our cavemen brain actually

408

:

step in the way, which is so true.

409

:

We get stuck in that- and cave women too.

410

:

Sorry.

411

:

I don't want to offend anybody.

412

:

There's cave men and cave women as well.

413

:

But Navi, I'm curious because you have

had all these stories of things that you

414

:

have been through to get to where you are.

415

:

When you're talking to someone that you're

trying to help, how are you leveraging

416

:

your experience to help that person get

to that next level, meaning, clients

417

:

come from all shapes, sizes, backgrounds,

all kinds of different things.

418

:

How you help them fit into that mold,

that situation that they're going through?

419

:

Navi: So one, it's not about fitting

into a mold, but it's just like the

420

:

biggest thing that I do as a coach

is meet people where they are, and to

421

:

understand that someone's best- this

is the biggest thing that I've learned

422

:

through my coaching journey is that

someone's best isn't my best, right?

423

:

They could be going at a different pace.

424

:

It could be better than my best.

425

:

It could be slower than mine, right,

and it's not about judging them.

426

:

It's about meeting them where they are,

and supporting them, and holding the

427

:

vision for the next place for them for as

long as I need to unwaveringly, because I

428

:

didn't get to where I am without support,

without help, and even where I am now,

429

:

I still have coaches, because there are

things that I want to do in places that

430

:

I want to grow in, the places I want

to take my business, that are holding

431

:

that bigger vision for me, and it's so

much easier to do that when you have

432

:

somebody who is supporting you, believing

in you, and can see the things in you

433

:

that you can't see for yourself yet.

434

:

Joshua: I think that's a good point about

trying to make sure you get somebody

435

:

that understands who you are, but also

sees where you want to go, and I think

436

:

for some of my clients, I've always

advocated that, yeah, I'm having you work

437

:

on this and I want you to do this sort of

work because it is your responsibility.

438

:

It's not my work, but I

see this bigger vision.

439

:

I always tell them about it because

of what they shared with me.

440

:

I said, "Look at the infinite

possibilities.", and I really work

441

:

more on the personal and professional

development side, and even for public

442

:

speaking for that matter, but for

your realm in which you're helping

443

:

entrepreneurs, you're helping those

that are going through love and dating

444

:

relationship issues, you're definitely

are helping them to find that inner peace,

445

:

if you will, to get to that next level,

and I just love the fact that you've

446

:

been through those, and you're right.

447

:

I said mold.

448

:

Shame on me, because we're not all created

equally, and I know that we have to find

449

:

our own little unique path in that, so

thanks for correcting me on that, and

450

:

that was a Freudian slip, if you will.

451

:

Navi.

452

:

I'm curious because as we get close to

the end, and just knowing a lot about

453

:

your story, reading it to the audience and

also hearing a lot from you, you've shared

454

:

this as being an author in a variety of

different books we didn't even get to yet,

455

:

but I'm wondering, what keeps you going?

456

:

I mean, what keeps you really

wanting to help others?

457

:

I mean, you could just been self

fulfilled by being able to answer these

458

:

questions, have these pillars that

you talked about earlier and be like,

459

:

"I got what I needed.", so why do it?

460

:

Why help others?

461

:

Navi: Because I really believe that this

is the reason why I went through the

462

:

things that I've gone through in my life,

because this is what I'm supposed to be

463

:

doing, and I have this ability to see

things for people, like really see their

464

:

success, and hold that space that comes

innately to me, and I love doing it, and

465

:

I know that what it feels like to be that

person that just wanted someone there,

466

:

and needed someone there, and to be able

to do that for another person, and to

467

:

see their success, it is so rewarding.

468

:

It is so rewarding to me to see the

success of my clients, to see them

469

:

thrive, to find the love that they

never thought was possible for them

470

:

to step out in their business and find

their confidence, and find their voice,

471

:

and to also become change makers that

are creating tremendous change, and to

472

:

know that I helped propel that forward.

473

:

That's the most incredible feeling.

474

:

Joshua: Tell me a little bit about

the book that came out about Broken

475

:

To Blissful that you just released.

476

:

It's your first solo book.

477

:

I know that you have written other

books that you've contributed to.

478

:

Does it help to talk about those sort

of subject matters in that book to

479

:

really expand upon what you just said?

480

:

Is that something that would

be a helpful resource for

481

:

those that we're picking it up?

482

:

Maybe you can share a little bit about

the book before we wrap up here for today.

483

:

Navi: Yeah, absolutely, so in my book,

Broken to Blissful, I really go into

484

:

depth of my journey, all of the places

that I struggled, and the things that

485

:

I did specifically in those moments to

pull myself out of it, so it is very

486

:

much a memoir, but it's a teaching

memoir, so I talk about the places

487

:

that I was in, and how I got out of

them, and I really wanted to have this

488

:

book as a resource, because I want to

be able to touch so many more people.

489

:

Not every single person has the resources

to work one on one with me, but I wanted

490

:

to create an affordable resource that

if you're feeling stuck, and one of the

491

:

ways that you're stuck is you're also

broke at the moment, I wanted to have

492

:

something that you could go and get very

inexpensively and use the tools in it

493

:

to be able to turn your life around.

494

:

Joshua: I will put a link to where you

can purchase that in the episode notes if

495

:

you're interested in having that resource,

and even afterwards, I wholeheartedly

496

:

encourage that if you are struggling

with that, reach out to Navi because I

497

:

feel like just hearing this today makes

me feel a little bit better about maybe

498

:

where I could lead my life if I'm just

willing to work on those four pillars

499

:

that you explained, so Navi, we're

pretty much at the end of our time here.

500

:

I was wondering if you could share for our

audience how they can reach out to you.

501

:

I know you have your coaching

business that will help others.

502

:

If you have any information as to how

they can reach out to you, how they can

503

:

get in touch as it relates to scheduling

maybe a consultation, if they want to

504

:

have more information before they walk

into a coaching session, maybe even have

505

:

some other books that maybe you want

a reference to and how they can access

506

:

that, maybe you could just provide how

they can just get through life and be

507

:

happy with who they are, be inspiring,

so with all of those things, I'll let you

508

:

have the last few minutes to share that.

509

:

Navi: Yeah, absolutely.

510

:

Thank you, so you can connect

with me on my website, which

511

:

is naviblisscoaching.com.

512

:

I'm also on all social media platforms,

just @navibliss, so feel free to send me

513

:

a DM if you have any questions, wherever

you're at, I love to have conversations

514

:

with people and connect, so don't feel

like you're going to be pushed into

515

:

high pressure or anything like that.

516

:

I want to make sure all my clients

are a good fit, so anyone that is

517

:

interested, I always do a free,

complimentary 20 minute call with

518

:

anyone before we even talk about getting

into a program, and doing a program.

519

:

My book, Broken to Blissful, is available

on Amazon, and then there's two books

520

:

that I'm also contributing author for,

and one is called Healing and Growth.

521

:

I have a chapter in there about overcoming

infidelity, and the other book is called

522

:

Our Yellow Brick Road, and if you're

a fan of the Chicken Soup for the Soul

523

:

series, you're going to love Our Yellow

Brick Road, because it's actually stories

524

:

of 10 inspirational speakers, and all of

the challenges that we overcame, and if

525

:

you're in a place where you're feeling

stuck, it can be really helpful to hear

526

:

multiple stories from multiple different

people that have overcome, because maybe

527

:

you can't exactly relate to one person,

but if you know that, hey, all of these

528

:

people did it and they're not any more

different or any more special than I

529

:

am, and they were able to do it, you

know that it's possible for you as well.

530

:

Joshua: Absolutely.

531

:

Anything is possible.

532

:

If other people are able to

do it, you can do it as well.

533

:

Navi, I'll put all those books in the

episode notes as well, along with all

534

:

that contact information, so for my

listeners, if you are interested, check

535

:

out the episode notes for more content

as it relates to that, but Navi, I

536

:

just want to say, for people that I've

had on the show, which I'm in over a

537

:

hundred some episodes at this point.

538

:

It's just been an amazing journey

for myself to hear a lot of different

539

:

fascinating stories of survival, grit.

540

:

I've had people that were on a boat

coming to America, escaping communism.

541

:

I've had people that have gotten through

all kinds of different types of ailments,

542

:

whether it's through a traumatic accident,

whether it's through medical illnesses,

543

:

whether it's through something that

happened in high school, but the one thing

544

:

that always sticks to my heart is those

that have been through domestic violence,

545

:

and that is something that in this

country, I still think it's underplayed

546

:

in terms of the things that you do.

547

:

Now you're in Canada, that's one

thing I didn't mention, so I've

548

:

noticed that in the United States,

there's still so much more work to do.

549

:

We've had so many high profile things

going on that I feel like the warning

550

:

signs are there, so I'm really am happy

to know that you're on the other side,

551

:

you're in a much better place, and to

top it all off, you're helping others,

552

:

and that's really important, so from one

coach to another, thank you very much

553

:

for being on Speaking from the Heart.

554

:

Thanks for sharing your story,

your testimony, and being part of

555

:

this awesome experience with me.

556

:

Thanks for sharing what

you have shared today.

557

:

Navi: Thank you so much for having me

on your show, and if I could just say

558

:

one last thing, if you have a loved one

that's experiencing domestic violence,

559

:

this is the one thing I want to share.

560

:

It can be really tempting to push them or

yell at them or be like, "Just leave.",

561

:

but that person is already in a place

where they're being so controlled, and

562

:

if you come at them from a controlling

place, you're just going to push them into

563

:

a place where they're further isolated,

and they feel like they can't come to

564

:

you, so if you have a loved one that's

experiencing this, just try to hold

565

:

space and be as kind to them as you can

so that when they feel ready that you're

566

:

the person that they can come to and they

don't feel shame around coming to you.

567

:

Joshua: That is so true.

568

:

I know I've said that about my

own attempt of ending my life that

569

:

people weren't giving me that space.

570

:

It just only created more ramifications,

so definitely don't pressure somebody

571

:

that is going through that, because

it is a decision that they have to

572

:

make, and as long as you know that

you're surrounding them in goodness,

573

:

as opposed to pressuring, that can

make such a big difference, so Navi,

574

:

thanks for sharing that, and again,

thank you for being part of the show.

575

:

Navi: Thank you.

576

:

Joshua: Again, I want to thank Navi for

sharing her story today and also sharing

577

:

all kinds of different possibilities that

we can have in our lives just by building

578

:

upon the four pillars that she even talked

about, and that's really where I want to

579

:

start this conversation, because even if

you think about love in the variety of

580

:

different forms that it takes place, which

even many different authors, Gary Chapman

581

:

for that matter, even talk about in many

of their books about how we approach

582

:

that, even in a relationship basis.

583

:

We have to figure out that we get to

the bottom of it all by understanding

584

:

how we can feel helped, to feel love

through validation, by finding the ways

585

:

in which you experience opportunities

to explore this concept, because it's

586

:

something that isn't just given to us.

587

:

We sometimes have to work for it too,

so there's two different modalities

588

:

essentially that we're working towards

to find that passion, to find that

589

:

love, especially in our lives, but

I love that her pillars talk about

590

:

living your passions, living your

values, cultivating that self trust,

591

:

but also practicing love and kindness

with yourselves, which I really want

592

:

to explore one by one as we go through

the wrap up of this episode, because if

593

:

we think about even passions for that

matter, we have to find ways in which

594

:

we can make ourselves feel enthusiastic.

595

:

I think a lot of what even Navi's story is

about is figuring out how we can find the

596

:

excitement in a relationship with someone.

597

:

Sometimes it's not very easy, and

when it's not very easy, we might

598

:

not be with the right person to

be able to create that value, to

599

:

create that sense of companionship.

600

:

We have to live the passions that

we have to explore for ourselves,

601

:

and that's going to be very hard.

602

:

You have to be hard to get,

especially when you have exacting

603

:

standards for why you want to

fall in love in the first place.

604

:

I think we even settle for less,

and I know that in many past

605

:

relationships that I've been

through, which have been traumatic

606

:

in nature, I have let my guard down.

607

:

I didn't know what I want, and now I do.

608

:

I know that I need to figure out a

better system, especially if I'm ever

609

:

going to be a better person for a

relationship, and that's something

610

:

that I'm even working on to this day.

611

:

It doesn't mean that I'm hard to get.

612

:

It just means that I need to figure out

first what I really want, so that I can

613

:

share with that person what I'm expecting,

so living your passions should be the

614

:

number one thing that you are absolutely

trying to do to explore that self love, or

615

:

even the love that you want for somebody

else, to create that value in your life.

616

:

Even if you have that, you

have to live your values.

617

:

Number two, essentially,

is to be at peace.

618

:

Find that way in which you can

live with yourself with the values

619

:

that you truly want to live.

620

:

Whether it's with integrity, whether it's

with respect, maybe you have honor, maybe

621

:

if you want to have the understanding

that communication is so important to you,

622

:

but don't define it at just a high level.

623

:

You have to break it down sometimes so

that people know what exactly you're

624

:

trying to do, and I know even for

myself, it's so easy to say that, but I

625

:

also know that I'm a work in progress.

626

:

If I really want to build those values,

that means that I have to work on

627

:

myself, along with all the other things

that come along with it, so living your

628

:

values means that you have to understand

what you represent, but be at peace

629

:

with them at the same time, but even

then, you have to earn that self trust.

630

:

You have to cultivate that within

yourself; number three, because if you

631

:

don't trust yourself, if you don't believe

in the trust that you have, no matter

632

:

what it comes from, you will never,

ever find that love, both internally

633

:

and externally, and I really think that

for me personally, I felt that from

634

:

Navi's story, and I felt that confidence

even in the interview, of how trusting

635

:

and caring that she wants to be with a

potential partner, let alone herself for

636

:

that matter, but even with those three

things said, practice, practice, practice,

637

:

especially with love and kindness.

638

:

It's a skill that we have

to continuously mold.

639

:

We have to refine.

640

:

We have to find the right language

in which we can communicate

641

:

that love for someone else.

642

:

Now, even with all those things said,

I know that building on those four

643

:

pillars of confidence means that

we have to build upon ourselves.

644

:

We have to learn that our brains are

not working against each other, because

645

:

our brains, as much as they want to

manifest protection and making sure

646

:

that we're okay at the end of the day,

means that we have to learn survival.

647

:

What does it mean to grow value?

648

:

What does it mean to create

that authenticity in ourself?

649

:

Sometimes we have to figure

out that we are dating someone

650

:

that is in a different body.

651

:

Having that conflict, having that chaos

that takes place while we're manifesting

652

:

that confidence, means that we have to

learn where those responding points of

653

:

our body are at, which means that it's

not just a physical manifestation, it's

654

:

an emotional manifestation, but I know

that even if you're hearing all this, you

655

:

might be asking yourself, "That's great.

656

:

I have no idea what you've been

saying the last five minutes,

657

:

Josh, but it sounds all awesome.

658

:

Can you just break it down for me

in just one, concrete sentence?"

659

:

Absolutely.

660

:

Are you ready?

661

:

Open yourself up to the obstacles

and the opportunities that come along

662

:

with it while you're enjoying success.

663

:

Obstacles, opportunities, and success.

664

:

We're never going to get it

right the first time, maybe

665

:

not even the second time.

666

:

For me, it's about a dozen times now that

I've tried in my life to fall in love,

667

:

but every time I've screwed it up, whether

it's with someone else, or I know for a

668

:

fact, it is me, but you have to learn that

you're not doing it because of all the

669

:

things that are going on in your life.

670

:

It means that you have to understand

that success comes from the things

671

:

that you're called to do, what

you're willing to fall in love with.

672

:

Whether that is really with a

person, or where I'm heading this

673

:

conversation towards, which is the

things that you really enjoy doing,

674

:

because if you don't love what you're

doing, you'll never find success.

675

:

You will always hate and dread

what you're really trying to do.

676

:

There have been many jobs in my life,

even the jobs that I sometimes have

677

:

held and talked about on this show,

that made me feel like maybe I had to

678

:

go through that period of time to learn

something about myself, but I should

679

:

have never held myself back from that

unlimited potential that I have inside

680

:

of myself, because I should have found

the love that I was seeking a long time

681

:

ago, but you have to hold that vision

of what you're really looking for.

682

:

The vision that we have for ourselves,

whether that is with someone else,

683

:

or who we want to be, means that we

might have to challenge the status quo.

684

:

We have to hold ourselves to a higher

standard, and even if you say that

685

:

maybe I should do it, you should

do it, because part of this whole

686

:

process, this whole vision that

we're working towards, means that we

687

:

have to leave room for improvement.

688

:

You have to have an opportunity to

grow, and when you have opportunities

689

:

that you're trying to excel in,

the goals in which you're trying to

690

:

accomplish, it means that you have to

have a bigger vision for the overall

691

:

picture that you're trying to paint.

692

:

You have to learn that

success comes from trials.

693

:

It doesn't just come handed to you,

because if you think that everything

694

:

that everybody has ever received in their

life was handed to them, think again.

695

:

I'm sure you can think of a number

of different people that would

696

:

challenge even that assumption.

697

:

Even for myself, some of the family

members that I've had in my life

698

:

think that I was handed everything,

and they had some sort of jealousy.

699

:

They had false love for what I had,

because what was really false about

700

:

what I had was not just the things that

I've already tried to accomplish, some

701

:

of the things that I've already had

in my possession what they failed to

702

:

realize was that I had to work for it.

703

:

It was not easy for me to find it,

because I had to find the vision, the

704

:

courage in which I needed to attain

that level of opportunity to get to

705

:

that next level by challenging myself,

and friends, I think if we ever are

706

:

going to learn from stories like Navi's,

especially if we're going to date

707

:

someone, if we're going to fall in love,

if we're ever going to cultivate this

708

:

confidence that we have that we deserve

to be loved, we have to realize that

709

:

we have to strive for something bigger.

710

:

I know that that is easier said than

done, in this world in which is always

711

:

changing; that it's always trying to get

one on you, because it's always looking

712

:

to find ways to push back, and sure, maybe

there are situations that are causing

713

:

havoc, terrible confusion, maybe making

you feel like you're not so magnetic of a

714

:

personality, but we have to keep trying.

715

:

We have to keep learning and doing.

716

:

Not taking any shortcuts.

717

:

Not finding some sort of cheat book

in which we can hack into the system

718

:

and manipulate the code in our favor.

719

:

We have to learn that we have to grow

these opportunities by earnest hard

720

:

work, dedication, and commitment towards

what we're ultimately trying to achieve.

721

:

Hold yourself to a higher vision.

722

:

Find someone, like a love and

relationship coach, a professional,

723

:

personal development coach like myself

even, that will help you to realize

724

:

that you have bigger gifts to give.

725

:

Challenging yourself, even if you

feel that there is no problem, is

726

:

something that you still need to

push yourself to do, no matter which

727

:

way you might feel about yourself,

or even others for that matter.

728

:

That other person, that antithesis of

yourself, might be the one that's even

729

:

screaming the loudest, saying that

you're never going to be able to succeed.

730

:

You're never going to

be able to fall in love.

731

:

You're never going to be able to open

yourself up to new obstacles that can

732

:

challenge you to become the best version

of who you are, but let's face it.

733

:

Whether it's for love, or money,

or recognition, fame, sex, drugs,

734

:

alcohol, regardless of what it

is, even if it's good or bad, just

735

:

know that it does take hard work.

736

:

I believe in you though, just as much

as my guest believes in you, to try

737

:

to challenge yourself and how your

brain works, because our brain has

738

:

been wired from millions of years

ago to still think that we're in

739

:

this survival mode, and sure, maybe

conditions in today's world make you

740

:

feel that way, but is that a perception,

or is that really truly your reality?

741

:

I know that it is so easy to just fall

back, relax, and Netflix and chill,

742

:

especially with all the things that are

happening around you, but let's face it.

743

:

You have a lot more to offer,

especially to a certain someone

744

:

that you might have not yet met in

your life, or even had encountered

745

:

in your own version of yourself.

746

:

Can't you find a place where

you can be loved even more?

747

:

To be encouraged even more deeply

than you ever thought possible, but

748

:

to also create repeating situations

that make you happy as a whole?

749

:

I think it's possible.

750

:

I think it's truly a beautiful thing if

you're able to do that, because friends,

751

:

I believe you can live your passions.

752

:

I believe you can live the values

that you're trying to find peace with.

753

:

You're able to cultivate that self trust,

but more importantly, I know you have

754

:

it in you to spend a little bit more

time to practice intentionality with the

755

:

love and kindness that's inside of you,

because that's what I really want to see.

756

:

It's your authentic self, even in all

the love and all the relationships

757

:

that you have going forward.

758

:

Thanks for listening to episode

number 138 of Speaking From the

759

:

Heart, and I look forward to

hearing from your heart very soon.

760

:

Outro: Thanks for listening.

761

:

For more information about our podcast

and future shows, search for Speaking From

762

:

The Heart to subscribe and be notified

wherever you listen to your podcasts.

763

:

Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz

for more information about potential

764

:

services that can help you create

the best version of yourself.

765

:

See you next time.

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