Finding love means that you have to also understand what you are seeking. While many people may be fortunate to find this kind of experience early in their lives, others have to overcome many obstacles, including their own trials, to develop themselves to be capable of being desirable and "hard to get" on their own terms. How we each go about it, whether it is in our own personal relationships or the passions that we choose to pursue, means that we have to put in the hard work to accomplish this task. Today's guest, Navi Bliss, shares her unique story and the Four Pillars of Confidence that help anyone to achieve these exciting opportunities to match with someone (or their passions) that they wish to have. However, be forewarned - it is not as easy as it may seem. Through trial and error, the opportunities that we can explore in our lives can be sought with a clear focus, but also the confidence, to achieve relationships that will help us to move forward only if we are willing to work on ourselves to achieve our dreams and aspirations that are in our imagination to become reality.

Guest Bio

Navi is the demystifier of personal relationships, cultivator of confidence, certified love and relationship coach, certified inspirational speaker and host of the Blissful Love podcast. She is a contributing author in two #1 bestselling books: Our Yellow Brick Road and Healing and Growth. Growing up with a mother who was physically and emotionally abusive left Navi with a tattered sense of self and low self-esteem. This sent her on a path of horrible, toxic and abusive relationships until she reached her breaking point in 2016 after walking away from an abusive relationship. After going on a healing journey, Navi was able to flip the script on her own life and is now determined to help others to do the same. Navi’s mission is to help people fall “head over heels” in love with themselves so that they can effortlessly attract the life and love of their dreams. Navi uses her stories of overcoming childhood abuse and neglect to inspire others that anything is possible.

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/navi.bliss.5

@navibliss on Instagram

@navibliss on Twitter

Website: https://www.naviblisscoaching.com

Visit Our Website: https://speaking-from-the-heart.captivate.fm/

• Healing and Growth Book (https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Growth-Inspiring-Stories-Transformation/dp/1637924011) - At this link, you can purchase the book Navi discussed during the show as it relates to a story that she wrote as a contributing author.
• Our Yellow Brick Road Book (https://www.amazon.com/Our-Yellow-Brick-Road-Storytelling/dp/1990700063/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2RVJD1QWSINGZ&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Kw5zGvpkTlrHtJ5qXqpPoPFl3CmrBfI-fO-dvTuQH-UaPobVOcFYpSj27dZIIfF-kD9K5ANJEcEUMfVTup869q3Pew1T4laTHxuvQskEqvk.xc0VRmxOLPqp3imxKpDTY2vaFiTaox6gpklWQcxjtts&dib_tag=se&keywords=our+yellow+brick+road&qid=1722119529&s=books&sprefix=our+yellow+brick+road%2Cstripbooks%2C76&sr=1-2) - Navi is featured as one of the contributing authors as it relates to powerful storytelling in this book, which was also discussed in today's show.

Visit Our Business Website: https://www.yourspeakingvoice.biz

Support The Mission Of The Business! Donate Here: https://speaking-from-the-heart.captivate.fm/support

Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs

Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

2

determination all converge into

an amazing, heartfelt experience.

3

This is Speaking From The Heart.

4

Joshua: Welcome back to episode

number 138 of Speaking from the Heart.

5

Today, we have Navi Bliss as our guest,

and Navi is the demystifier of personal

6

relationships, cultivator of confidence,

certified love and relationship coach,

7

certified inspirational speaker, and

host of the Blissful Love podcast.

8

She is a contributing author in

two number one best selling books.

9

One is called, Our Yellow Brick Road, and

the other is called Healing and Growth.

10

Growing up with a mother who was

physically and emotionally abusive

11

left Navi with a tattered sense

of self and low self esteem.

12

This sent her on a path of a horrible,

toxic, and abusive set of relationships,

13

until she reached her breaking

14

from another abusive relationship.

15

After going on a healing journey,

Navi was able to flip the script on

16

her own life and is now determined

to help others to do the same.

17

Navi's mission is to help people fall

head over heels in love with themselves

18

so they can effortlessly attract

the life and love of their dreams.

19

Navi uses her stories of overcoming

childhood abuse and neglect to inspire

20

others that anything is possible.

21

The wholesome aspect of this episode

comes from the fact that we have all

22

kinds of ways in which we can go through

life loving one another, but if we

23

keep on repeating the same havoc, the

same terrible types of relationships,

24

even as my guest's bio even points

out, we're never going to be able to

25

overcome those stigmas; those repeating

patterns that always happen in our lives.

26

She talks about four pillars, which we'll

talk about at the end of the episode,

27

but it's something that I find that

we open ourselves up to the unlimited

28

potential because we're able to figure

out inside of ourselves that we need

29

to work through difficult situations,

overcome obstacles, and hold ourselves

30

accountable that we have that ability,

that vision, to go to the next level.

31

Never say it's impossible, because even

if you repeat it over and over again,

32

even if you think that you find yourself

insane, especially going through all

33

these different types of situations,

just know that you will get to the other

34

side, especially like my guest has today.

35

But with that, let's go to the episode.

36

Alright, we're here with Navi Bliss.

37

Navi!

38

Thanks for sharing your

heart with us today.

39

Navi: I'm really excited to

be here and share my story.

40

Joshua: I am too.

41

I'm super excited about not only the

things that we're going to talk about

42

today, but you have a interesting business

in itself that I am looking forward to

43

hearing about, but I let the audience

know a little bit about your background,

44

Navi, but I'm really am curious to

start out with this first question.

45

Why, oh why, would nobody love you,

because that's just seems so sad, and I

46

think that you are a very lovely lady, and

I'm really saying that because I'm looking

47

at you, and I feel that for many people,

sometimes finding someone else is very

48

tough but you do your work around that

sort of playing field, so I'm wondering if

49

you could tell a little bit more of your

expanded story, and also share a little

50

bit about why you decided to help others.

51

Navi: Absolutely, so my own journey

started, actually, I would say in

52

childhood, because I grew up in a home

with a mother who is physically and

53

emotionally abusive towards me, and so

my entire life, all I remember is wanting

54

to be loved, and wanting validation,

because I did not receive that at all.

55

All I received was everything negative

you can imagine, and so I just never

56

developed that self worth and that self

esteem, and that, of course, pushed me

57

to seek it anywhere I could outside of

myself, and then I got married when I

58

was very young, and when I met my ex

husband, I thought, "Okay, this is it.

59

Someone chose me.

60

Someone loves me.

61

Not everything that my mom said about

me is wrong, and now I'm validated.",

62

and then he had a child with somebody

else while we were married, and

63

of course that came crashing down,

and that's what happens when you

64

outsource your worth to other people.

65

It can just come crashing down around

you, and So if you say I had a negative

66

self esteem of negative 100 before I

started, it doubled, so it was at least

67

negative 200 after that happened, and

of course, that sent me on an even worse

68

path of just seeking love anywhere that

I could, and I ended up into domestic

69

violence relationships, back to back,

and after I got out of the second one,

70

because that is actually very dangerous

when you're actually trying to leave

71

a domestic violence relationship,

and when I got out of that, that

72

was a grace, and I realized, "Okay.

73

This can never, ever happen to me

again, because if it does, I don't

74

even know if I'm going to survive

it, so I have to figure this out.

75

I have to figure out what is going on, why

I keep ending up in these situations.",

76

and I realized that what had happened

to me in the past wasn't my fault, but

77

I was an adult now and I was deciding

what I was allowing into my life, and

78

I was allowing people into my life that

were treating me very, very poorly, and

79

that sent me on a healing journey myself.

80

It included therapy; included coaching,

and through that, I actually learned that

81

all of this love that I'd been seeking

outside of me, I actually had the capacity

82

to give it to myself, that it was possible

for me to self validate and for me to feel

83

good and just wake up every day and feel

good, and then through that, I actually

84

started to attract differently because

I was radiating something different.

85

I was putting something out there,

and I found my passion and purpose,

86

because I know that there are so many

other people that are also struggling

87

with their self worth and confidence,

and as a result are in really, really

88

terrible relationships in their life,

and I'm passionate about helping people

89

to step into their worth, to step into

their magnetism so that they can attract

90

everything that they want in their life

effortlessly, because attraction is the

91

same, whether you want to attract your

soulmate, or whether you want to attract

92

your soulmate client and your business,

and it all starts with you, so that

93

is the beauty of the work that I do.

94

It's not dependent on anyone else.

95

It's dependent on you, and you change

and your whole world is going to change.

96

Joshua: You literally just told my story

of how I got to this point, because I

97

realized that I wasn't loving myself

for the longest time, and I also have

98

heard from many people that have seen me

grown, even since I opened this business,

99

even started this podcast, "Josh.

100

You're really doing your calling.

101

You're doing amazing things.

102

Seems like you're loving yourself.",

103

That is exactly the truth."

104

What was the switch for you, because

you said something about going through

105

two domestic violence relationships.

106

so first off, I'm glad that you made it

through those relationships, because those

107

can be very seriously dangerous like you

said, I have had guests on the show that

108

have shared that sort of past experience

and how they've grown from it, so I'm glad

109

that you're here to be able to share your

story, and I know that for many people,

110

it could be very tough to do so, so for

you to be this courageous to be able to

111

do that, I just want to give you kudos

for sure, but how do you help people if

112

they are going through this process of

just not loving themselves, or they're

113

not loving what they're doing in life?

114

Is there something that you

have found to be really helpful?

115

You said something about

magnetism, and I'm curious if

116

there's a connection with that.

117

Navi: Yeah, so I have a system that

I created, and the foundation of that

118

system is four pillars of confidence, and

I love to start with these four pillars

119

because these are things that are really

great for someone that is actually coming

120

out of trauma, and they're not ready to

do affirmations, or to do those types

121

of things, right, so my four pillars.

122

The first one is to live your passions,

because you cannot be confident, you

123

cannot feel good about yourself, if

you're not living your passions, because

124

if you're bored with your life, that's

going to radiate out as boredom, so

125

maybe you're stuck in a job that you

have to do, because you have bills to

126

pay, right, and you're not passionate

about it, which is absolutely okay, but

127

you have to be able to integrate your

passions into your life, because imagine

128

you're out on a date with somebody,

or you're meeting up with friends,

129

and they ask you, "How's your week?"

130

"Well, I went to work, and

then I came home, and I

131

watched TV, and I went to bed."

132

That's not going to radiate confidence.

133

You're not going to feel good about

sharing that with other people.

134

Other people aren't going

to be interested in you.

135

That is not magnetizing, but if

you're living your passions, and

136

several times a week you're doing

activities that you're passionate

137

about, and it could be anything.

138

Maybe you're playing a sport.

139

Maybe you're taking a dance

class, it could be knitting.

140

It could be joining a video game group.

141

It actually doesn't matter

what your passions are.

142

One, you're starting to live a life that

you feel excited about, and when you talk

143

about that, whatever it is, even if the

other person isn't interested in that,

144

but you're talking about it from a place

of enthusiasm, you become more magnetic.

145

You become more interesting to the other

person that's now listening to you.

146

Also, you're going to find your community

that you gel with when you're doing

147

these activities that you love, and in

dating, also, you can't play hard to get.

148

You have to be hard to get.

149

Now, if you have a very full life, full

of activities that you're loving, you

150

are going to be hard to get because

someone can't book you at the last

151

minute, because you have an athletic

practice that you have to go to, or you

152

have something else that you're doing

and you're already booked in, and someone

153

has to find time and plan ahead and do

all of these things with you, right?

154

Then my second pillar of

confidence is to live your values.

155

One of the ways that I define confidence

and worth is to be at peace within

156

yourself, so there's parts of you

that aren't fighting, because you

157

can't be confident when you're not in

full alignment, and this happens when

158

you're not living your values, so when

I say this, most of the time people

159

are like, "Of course I'm living my

values.", but a lot of times, people

160

have values that are in conflict

with other values that they hold.

161

One example could be you value financial

success, and then you also value ease,

162

and fun, and freedom, and in your pursuit

of financial success, you have come

163

up with the idea that you're going to

achieve that through extreme hustle.

164

There's no fun, freedom,

and ease in your life.

165

These values are in conflict, so either

you have to redefine what success means to

166

you, and perhaps it's going to be balance,

perhaps it's going to be adding different

167

things to your life, or if you really

love the hustle, some people do, right?

168

I'm not here to tell you

what your value should be.

169

Maybe you let go of the other values,

because they're not as important to you.

170

So you're not in conflict.

171

Another example of this could be you

value thinness, but you are not thin.

172

With this, you are not going to

value yourself, or feel good about

173

yourself, if you're valuing thinness.

174

Now you can question this

and you can think about it.

175

Is it really thinness?

176

Is this something that is super

important to you, or is this

177

something that you've taken in,

because society has told you this?

178

Could you change it to health, because

valuing health is very different than

179

valuing thinness, right, and you can

be doing things to take care of your

180

health, without being at your optimum

health, and you can be living within

181

your values, and you can start to

feel better about yourself, so find

182

the areas of your life where your

values are in conflict so you can

183

alleviate that and come into alignment.

184

My next one is to cultivate self trust,

and cultivating self trust is really

185

important because you cannot love someone

you don't trust, and that includes

186

yourself, and when you don't trust

yourself, it's also going to make you a

187

very prickly person, because you won't

be able to set boundaries with other

188

people, and where people have issues

with self trust is they start making

189

these big promises to themselves, and

then they break them every single day.

190

An example could be I'm going

to wake up tomorrow, 5 a.

191

m., and I'm going to work out for two

hours before I go to work, and then

192

tomorrow comes, snooze, snooze, snooze.

193

Doesn't happen.

194

You feel like garbage.

195

You do the same thing the next day.

196

You trust yourself even less.

197

You start to believe in yourself even

less, and oftentimes you're setting

198

these big lofty goals for yourself,

because you're very unhappy where

199

you are right now, and you want

180 change in your life overnight.

200

Your life doesn't change.

201

It doesn't do a 180.

202

Change is not like that.

203

It's incremental.

204

It's always incremental, right?

205

Joshua: Mmhmm.

206

Navi: But these promises that you're

making and breaking, they're breaking

207

this trust you have in yourself.

208

They're making you feel worse and

worse, so a lot of times it's just

209

distilling it down to something smaller.

210

Could you just say, "I'm going to wake

up five minutes earlier and I'm going

211

to do 10 pushups?", and then when

you actually do that, you have this

212

sense of pride and accomplishment.

213

If you do 10 pushups every day for a

week, are you going to look different?

214

Is your life going to change?

215

No, but you're going to start to build

this sense of pride and accomplishment and

216

trust within yourself, and that trust is

going to take you farther, and allow you

217

to be able to accomplish more and more.

218

Now, the exercise is just one example,

maybe you excel at that, but everybody

219

has areas in their life, typically

where they are breaking promises to

220

themselves, and they're not cultivating

self trust, so that's something that you

221

want to work on, and my last one is to

practice loving kindness to yourself.

222

There's four areas where

you have to do this.

223

You have to do something for your

spiritual well being every single day.

224

You have to do something for your

mental well being every single day.

225

You have to do something for your

physical well being every single day,

226

and you have to do something for your

aesthetic well being every single

227

day, and all of these areas matter.

228

You have to put practices in place,

because self worth isn't one of those

229

things that you just do it once.

230

"I've built my self worth, now I'm good."

231

You have to have practices in place

to keep feeling good, and all of these

232

areas of your life matter, and they

don't have to be big things, right,

233

so for your spiritual well being, if

you practice a religion, you could do

234

some sort of activity related to that.

235

If you don't, you could go to

a park and hug a tree, right?

236

Just connect to something

bigger than yourself, right?

237

Take a few moments every single day.

238

For your physical health, you could

just wake up every day, and say,

239

"I'm going to drink a glass of water.

240

Just one glass of water."

241

Right now, you're showing yourself that

your physical well being matters, right?

242

Then for your mental health, you

could do a two minute meditation.

243

You could say an affirmation.

244

It could be any variety of things, but

that you incorporate into your day, and

245

then the last one is the aesthetic, which

also matters, and I think people had this

246

experience during the COVID lockdown.

247

I think most people had a number

of days where they didn't shower.

248

They wore the same stinky clothes-

249

Joshua: Guilty as charged.

250

Navi: And they felt like garbage,

because if you're showing up in

251

the world like that, you are not

going to feel good about yourself.

252

Now, this doesn't mean you have to be

full glam every single day, but you

253

have to get up every single day, and

take a certain amount of pride in your

254

appearance, like shower, clean clothes,

like the basic stuff where you went

255

to the grocery store and you ran into

your neighbor, you're not going to

256

be embarrassed, or want to run away.

257

You feel comfortable, right, because

all of these things are important if

258

you want to start to feel comfortable

in your own skin every single day, and

259

then there's a big bonus that happens

when you do all of these things.

260

When we put our time and attention towards

something, we naturally start to care

261

about it, and I think most people have

had an experience where perhaps, it was

262

like a celebrity, or an athlete, like

somebody that they had an obsession over.

263

Maybe you still do, right?

264

You have this person who you idolize

and love, and part of what makes them so

265

special is the time that you're putting

towards them compared to everybody else,

266

right, and if people don't believe me, an

exercise I have them do is go to the park

267

and find a random insect, and stare at

that insect for an hour, like an ant or

268

spider or something, and then see how you

feel after an hour if someone's about to

269

step on your ant or to squash your spider.

270

You're going to feel some sort of way

and you wouldn't even have noticed this

271

insect before, and it's because you just

poured your energy into it for an hour.

272

Now just imagine you're practicing

these four pillars and you start

273

to pour this energy into yourself.

274

That natural confidence, and that

magnetism, is going to start to build up.

275

Joshua: Wow.

276

That was a lot to share with those four

pillars, but I think those four pillars

277

have so much that you have explained

that I think for my listeners, they will

278

certainly be able to gain a lot out of,

and I think that for me, especially when

279

it comes to love and dating, which some

of my friends listening to this, they know

280

that I have sucked so bad with doing that,

and I think part of it too is because not

281

only were you saying some of the things

that I was having trouble with, one of the

282

biggest things is self trust and actually

practice love and kindness, because when

283

I think about all the experiences I've

had, those things have been really the

284

worst, and that's because not only was

I not given a great role model, which I

285

hate to say it, but my parents weren't

great role models when it comes to that.

286

Sorry, mom and dad, but it's the truth,

but the other thing is that I felt like

287

I had so much stigma to live up to,

and you mentioned something on your

288

website that kind of struck me too, is

that I see all these other people, and

289

as I've gotten older, they got married.

290

They've had kids.

291

I'm like, "What am I doing wrong?",

so I know I have some listeners around

292

the world that have that sort of issue.

293

What do you say to somebody that is

looking around and seeing all this,

294

quote unquote, success with dating as

opposed to, worrying about yourself.

295

Is there any advice you would give?

296

Navi: Yeah, so There's a couple of

elements to this, so just because

297

people are entering into relationships,

and you're seeing everybody around

298

you do this, not all of those

people are entering into a happy,

299

healthy, harmonious relationships.

300

Even in my own social media feed, you

don't know the amount of times that I've

301

seen someone post the happiest couple

pic with these long things, notes to each

302

other, and then a week later, they're

announcing their divorce, right, so you

303

don't actually know what's happening in

someone else's life, so judging yourself

304

based on that isn't going to be helpful,

but the other thing is, is to understand

305

how attraction works, and how our brains

work, so our brains are survivalistic,

306

so they're working for our survival.

307

They are not working for our success,

because they have not changed much since

308

caveman times, so you are attracted to

what is familiar to you, not as what is

309

best for you, and how this happens is

when we think in terms of survival, so

310

imagine back in caveman times, there's

this path you're going down to go and

311

hunt for food, and there's a bear.

312

There's a bear on that path, but it's

a small one and you outran it, and then

313

there's like 15 other paths, but you

have no idea what's on those paths.

314

Are there bigger bears that can kill you?

315

Are there other obstacles that you're

not going to make it through, and

316

there could also be no obstacles.

317

It could be nothing else, but what your

brain knows is that you can go down

318

that same path and you can survive, so

your brain wants you to survive, so it's

319

going to keep directing you back towards

that same path so that you survive, and

320

this is what happens in relationships,

because a lot of people that struggle

321

with relationships, they keep dating

the same person over and over again in

322

a different body, and it is because it

is the pattern that they were wired to

323

because of trauma that they experienced in

their life, like chaos that they grew up

324

with, and you grew up in a chaotic home.

325

It doesn't even have to be abusive,

but let's just say your parents had

326

a lot of conflict with each other.

327

What feels comfortable to you is actually

chaos, because you know that you can

328

survive that, so when someone shows up in

your life that is presenting differently

329

than chaos, that is going to feel

unnatural to your nervous system, even

330

though it's what you want, right, so you

have to become aware of that, and then

331

learn to train your nervous system to

become comfortable with what you actually

332

want, rather than what you've experienced.

333

Joshua: Yeah, and it's almost like getting

on a bicycle and learning how to ride for

334

the first time, and then once you know

how to ride, then you know that's muscle

335

memory, so like 30 years down the road,

you'll be able to get back on a bike.

336

No problem.

337

It's the same sort of habit.

338

You've already learned how to deal

with it, but it's funny, because

339

I have not really done a good

job breaking those things down.

340

That is one thing that I still have

yet to work on, and I'm very vulnerable

341

on my show, Navi, as you can imagine

already hearing some of the things

342

I said, because it's the truth.

343

I know I need to work on a lot of things.

344

I'm not a perfect coach.

345

I know that you're not a perfect coach.

346

If there was such a thing as a

perfect coach, I want to meet them.

347

I really do.

348

Navi: Well, I actually had a mentor tell

me this once, that when you actually

349

decide to become a coach, that you

actually open your life up to more

350

obstacles, because you cannot help people

through things that you haven't worked

351

through yourself, and the more things that

you work through, the greater capacity

352

that you have to help other people.

353

Joshua: I had a coach when I started out.

354

His name is Gary, and Gary, if you're

listening to this, I love you, man.

355

Thanks so much for helping me

get my start, but Gary would

356

also say the same things.

357

He's like, "Dude.

358

You're going to find out and figure

out that you got to work through

359

all these things, and you're going

to grow so much stronger, and so

360

much better, than you are right now,

even opening this.", and I'm like,

361

thinking in the back of my head, "Eh.

362

Well, we'll cross that

bridge when we get there."

363

Well, no, the bridge is already there,

and you're walking over it, and that's

364

just what it is, is that you kind of

learn about how to do these things, and

365

I think that's so true about the dating

world is that sometimes you just have to

366

take a big step forward, but, I want to

just step back from dating for a second,

367

because you also deal with entrepreneurs

in that sense, in that realm, too.

368

If we were to take this same

conversation, and we would say

369

to somebody, "Find your passion.

370

This is what you should be doing."

371

How do you help them with that?

372

Navi: When it comes to your

passion, your passion is a

373

thing that you are called to do.

374

You are moved to do it.

375

You're not doing it because of money.

376

It's because you have to do it, right,

and a lot of times where entrepreneurs

377

get stuck is they start to believe

that they need another course.

378

They need another this, they need

another that, before they can be

379

successful, but here's the thing.

380

Whatever you're being called to, it's

because you already have the capacity

381

to help someone, and it's the thought

that you have to have all the answers

382

and your life has to be perfect.

383

Your life is never going to be

perfect, right, and you don't have

384

to have all of the answers, and most

people don't have the same coach

385

that takes them from a to Zed, right?

386

What they're looking for is a

coach to take them from A to B.

387

You already have that.

388

You already have that knowledge, and

it's just about trusting yourself, and

389

that you can lead someone from A to B,

and probably by the time they get to

390

B, you have made it to C now, and you

can also lead them from B to C, and

391

if not, then they're still going to be

appreciative of that journey that they

392

went on with you, and they're going to

go and find another mentor that can take

393

them to the next step, right, but it's

the same sort of doubt that creeps in

394

of, "I have to have all the answers.

395

I have to know everything.",

and you never will.

396

Joshua: I feel like I am going to have

to go on a date now with a coach to be

397

able to figure out where my next step is.

398

I'm sorry.

399

I just like had that thought

flash across my mind.

400

I was like, "Yeah.

401

I guess I'm also dating for coaches.",

so for any coach out there that would

402

like to help Your Speaking Voice LLC to

get to the next level, I'm interested.

403

I have applications to hand out if

you're interested in dating somebody

404

like me, and I'm just smiling.

405

I know that no one can see this, but

it's almost the same sort of tack, but

406

we do have that freedom of choice, and

I think that's really what this boils

407

down to is, what kind of choice we make

and not let our cavemen brain actually

408

step in the way, which is so true.

409

We get stuck in that- and cave women too.

410

Sorry.

411

I don't want to offend anybody.

412

There's cave men and cave women as well.

413

But Navi, I'm curious because you have

had all these stories of things that you

414

have been through to get to where you are.

415

When you're talking to someone that you're

trying to help, how are you leveraging

416

your experience to help that person get

to that next level, meaning, clients

417

come from all shapes, sizes, backgrounds,

all kinds of different things.

418

How you help them fit into that mold,

that situation that they're going through?

419

Navi: So one, it's not about fitting

into a mold, but it's just like the

420

biggest thing that I do as a coach

is meet people where they are, and to

421

understand that someone's best- this

is the biggest thing that I've learned

422

through my coaching journey is that

someone's best isn't my best, right?

423

They could be going at a different pace.

424

It could be better than my best.

425

It could be slower than mine, right,

and it's not about judging them.

426

It's about meeting them where they are,

and supporting them, and holding the

427

vision for the next place for them for as

long as I need to unwaveringly, because I

428

didn't get to where I am without support,

without help, and even where I am now,

429

I still have coaches, because there are

things that I want to do in places that

430

I want to grow in, the places I want

to take my business, that are holding

431

that bigger vision for me, and it's so

much easier to do that when you have

432

somebody who is supporting you, believing

in you, and can see the things in you

433

that you can't see for yourself yet.

434

Joshua: I think that's a good point about

trying to make sure you get somebody

435

that understands who you are, but also

sees where you want to go, and I think

436

for some of my clients, I've always

advocated that, yeah, I'm having you work

437

on this and I want you to do this sort of

work because it is your responsibility.

438

It's not my work, but I

see this bigger vision.

439

I always tell them about it because

of what they shared with me.

440

I said, "Look at the infinite

possibilities.", and I really work

441

more on the personal and professional

development side, and even for public

442

speaking for that matter, but for

your realm in which you're helping

443

entrepreneurs, you're helping those

that are going through love and dating

444

relationship issues, you're definitely

are helping them to find that inner peace,

445

if you will, to get to that next level,

and I just love the fact that you've

446

been through those, and you're right.

447

I said mold.

448

Shame on me, because we're not all created

equally, and I know that we have to find

449

our own little unique path in that, so

thanks for correcting me on that, and

450

that was a Freudian slip, if you will.

451

Navi.

452

I'm curious because as we get close to

the end, and just knowing a lot about

453

your story, reading it to the audience and

also hearing a lot from you, you've shared

454

this as being an author in a variety of

different books we didn't even get to yet,

455

but I'm wondering, what keeps you going?

456

I mean, what keeps you really

wanting to help others?

457

I mean, you could just been self

fulfilled by being able to answer these

458

questions, have these pillars that

you talked about earlier and be like,

459

"I got what I needed.", so why do it?

460

Why help others?

461

Navi: Because I really believe that this

is the reason why I went through the

462

things that I've gone through in my life,

because this is what I'm supposed to be

463

doing, and I have this ability to see

things for people, like really see their

464

success, and hold that space that comes

innately to me, and I love doing it, and

465

I know that what it feels like to be that

person that just wanted someone there,

466

and needed someone there, and to be able

to do that for another person, and to

467

see their success, it is so rewarding.

468

It is so rewarding to me to see the

success of my clients, to see them

469

thrive, to find the love that they

never thought was possible for them

470

to step out in their business and find

their confidence, and find their voice,

471

and to also become change makers that

are creating tremendous change, and to

472

know that I helped propel that forward.

473

That's the most incredible feeling.

474

Joshua: Tell me a little bit about

the book that came out about Broken

475

To Blissful that you just released.

476

It's your first solo book.

477

I know that you have written other

books that you've contributed to.

478

Does it help to talk about those sort

of subject matters in that book to

479

really expand upon what you just said?

480

Is that something that would

be a helpful resource for

481

those that we're picking it up?

482

Maybe you can share a little bit about

the book before we wrap up here for today.

483

Navi: Yeah, absolutely, so in my book,

Broken to Blissful, I really go into

484

depth of my journey, all of the places

that I struggled, and the things that

485

I did specifically in those moments to

pull myself out of it, so it is very

486

much a memoir, but it's a teaching

memoir, so I talk about the places

487

that I was in, and how I got out of

them, and I really wanted to have this

488

book as a resource, because I want to

be able to touch so many more people.

489

Not every single person has the resources

to work one on one with me, but I wanted

490

to create an affordable resource that

if you're feeling stuck, and one of the

491

ways that you're stuck is you're also

broke at the moment, I wanted to have

492

something that you could go and get very

inexpensively and use the tools in it

493

to be able to turn your life around.

494

Joshua: I will put a link to where you

can purchase that in the episode notes if

495

you're interested in having that resource,

and even afterwards, I wholeheartedly

496

encourage that if you are struggling

with that, reach out to Navi because I

497

feel like just hearing this today makes

me feel a little bit better about maybe

498

where I could lead my life if I'm just

willing to work on those four pillars

499

that you explained, so Navi, we're

pretty much at the end of our time here.

500

I was wondering if you could share for our

audience how they can reach out to you.

501

I know you have your coaching

business that will help others.

502

If you have any information as to how

they can reach out to you, how they can

503

get in touch as it relates to scheduling

maybe a consultation, if they want to

504

have more information before they walk

into a coaching session, maybe even have

505

some other books that maybe you want

a reference to and how they can access

506

that, maybe you could just provide how

they can just get through life and be

507

happy with who they are, be inspiring,

so with all of those things, I'll let you

508

have the last few minutes to share that.

509

Navi: Yeah, absolutely.

510

Thank you, so you can connect

with me on my website, which

511

is naviblisscoaching.com.

512

I'm also on all social media platforms,

just @navibliss, so feel free to send me

513

a DM if you have any questions, wherever

you're at, I love to have conversations

514

with people and connect, so don't feel

like you're going to be pushed into

515

high pressure or anything like that.

516

I want to make sure all my clients

are a good fit, so anyone that is

517

interested, I always do a free,

complimentary 20 minute call with

518

anyone before we even talk about getting

into a program, and doing a program.

519

My book, Broken to Blissful, is available

on Amazon, and then there's two books

520

that I'm also contributing author for,

and one is called Healing and Growth.

521

I have a chapter in there about overcoming

infidelity, and the other book is called

522

Our Yellow Brick Road, and if you're

a fan of the Chicken Soup for the Soul

523

series, you're going to love Our Yellow

Brick Road, because it's actually stories

524

of 10 inspirational speakers, and all of

the challenges that we overcame, and if

525

you're in a place where you're feeling

stuck, it can be really helpful to hear

526

multiple stories from multiple different

people that have overcome, because maybe

527

you can't exactly relate to one person,

but if you know that, hey, all of these

528

people did it and they're not any more

different or any more special than I

529

am, and they were able to do it, you

know that it's possible for you as well.

530

Joshua: Absolutely.

531

Anything is possible.

532

If other people are able to

do it, you can do it as well.

533

Navi, I'll put all those books in the

episode notes as well, along with all

534

that contact information, so for my

listeners, if you are interested, check

535

out the episode notes for more content

as it relates to that, but Navi, I

536

just want to say, for people that I've

had on the show, which I'm in over a

537

hundred some episodes at this point.

538

It's just been an amazing journey

for myself to hear a lot of different

539

fascinating stories of survival, grit.

540

I've had people that were on a boat

coming to America, escaping communism.

541

I've had people that have gotten through

all kinds of different types of ailments,

542

whether it's through a traumatic accident,

whether it's through medical illnesses,

543

whether it's through something that

happened in high school, but the one thing

544

that always sticks to my heart is those

that have been through domestic violence,

545

and that is something that in this

country, I still think it's underplayed

546

in terms of the things that you do.

547

Now you're in Canada, that's one

thing I didn't mention, so I've

548

noticed that in the United States,

there's still so much more work to do.

549

We've had so many high profile things

going on that I feel like the warning

550

signs are there, so I'm really am happy

to know that you're on the other side,

551

you're in a much better place, and to

top it all off, you're helping others,

552

and that's really important, so from one

coach to another, thank you very much

553

for being on Speaking from the Heart.

554

Thanks for sharing your story,

your testimony, and being part of

555

this awesome experience with me.

556

Thanks for sharing what

you have shared today.

557

Navi: Thank you so much for having me

on your show, and if I could just say

558

one last thing, if you have a loved one

that's experiencing domestic violence,

559

this is the one thing I want to share.

560

It can be really tempting to push them or

yell at them or be like, "Just leave.",

561

but that person is already in a place

where they're being so controlled, and

562

if you come at them from a controlling

place, you're just going to push them into

563

a place where they're further isolated,

and they feel like they can't come to

564

you, so if you have a loved one that's

experiencing this, just try to hold

565

space and be as kind to them as you can

so that when they feel ready that you're

566

the person that they can come to and they

don't feel shame around coming to you.

567

Joshua: That is so true.

568

I know I've said that about my

own attempt of ending my life that

569

people weren't giving me that space.

570

It just only created more ramifications,

so definitely don't pressure somebody

571

that is going through that, because

it is a decision that they have to

572

make, and as long as you know that

you're surrounding them in goodness,

573

as opposed to pressuring, that can

make such a big difference, so Navi,

574

thanks for sharing that, and again,

thank you for being part of the show.

575

Navi: Thank you.

576

Joshua: Again, I want to thank Navi for

sharing her story today and also sharing

577

all kinds of different possibilities that

we can have in our lives just by building

578

upon the four pillars that she even talked

about, and that's really where I want to

579

start this conversation, because even if

you think about love in the variety of

580

different forms that it takes place, which

even many different authors, Gary Chapman

581

for that matter, even talk about in many

of their books about how we approach

582

that, even in a relationship basis.

583

We have to figure out that we get to

the bottom of it all by understanding

584

how we can feel helped, to feel love

through validation, by finding the ways

585

in which you experience opportunities

to explore this concept, because it's

586

something that isn't just given to us.

587

We sometimes have to work for it too,

so there's two different modalities

588

essentially that we're working towards

to find that passion, to find that

589

love, especially in our lives, but

I love that her pillars talk about

590

living your passions, living your

values, cultivating that self trust,

591

but also practicing love and kindness

with yourselves, which I really want

592

to explore one by one as we go through

the wrap up of this episode, because if

593

we think about even passions for that

matter, we have to find ways in which

594

we can make ourselves feel enthusiastic.

595

I think a lot of what even Navi's story is

about is figuring out how we can find the

596

excitement in a relationship with someone.

597

Sometimes it's not very easy, and

when it's not very easy, we might

598

not be with the right person to

be able to create that value, to

599

create that sense of companionship.

600

We have to live the passions that

we have to explore for ourselves,

601

and that's going to be very hard.

602

You have to be hard to get,

especially when you have exacting

603

standards for why you want to

fall in love in the first place.

604

I think we even settle for less,

and I know that in many past

605

relationships that I've been

through, which have been traumatic

606

in nature, I have let my guard down.

607

I didn't know what I want, and now I do.

608

I know that I need to figure out a

better system, especially if I'm ever

609

going to be a better person for a

relationship, and that's something

610

that I'm even working on to this day.

611

It doesn't mean that I'm hard to get.

612

It just means that I need to figure out

first what I really want, so that I can

613

share with that person what I'm expecting,

so living your passions should be the

614

number one thing that you are absolutely

trying to do to explore that self love, or

615

even the love that you want for somebody

else, to create that value in your life.

616

Even if you have that, you

have to live your values.

617

Number two, essentially,

is to be at peace.

618

Find that way in which you can

live with yourself with the values

619

that you truly want to live.

620

Whether it's with integrity, whether it's

with respect, maybe you have honor, maybe

621

if you want to have the understanding

that communication is so important to you,

622

but don't define it at just a high level.

623

You have to break it down sometimes so

that people know what exactly you're

624

trying to do, and I know even for

myself, it's so easy to say that, but I

625

also know that I'm a work in progress.

626

If I really want to build those values,

that means that I have to work on

627

myself, along with all the other things

that come along with it, so living your

628

values means that you have to understand

what you represent, but be at peace

629

with them at the same time, but even

then, you have to earn that self trust.

630

You have to cultivate that within

yourself; number three, because if you

631

don't trust yourself, if you don't believe

in the trust that you have, no matter

632

what it comes from, you will never,

ever find that love, both internally

633

and externally, and I really think that

for me personally, I felt that from

634

Navi's story, and I felt that confidence

even in the interview, of how trusting

635

and caring that she wants to be with a

potential partner, let alone herself for

636

that matter, but even with those three

things said, practice, practice, practice,

637

especially with love and kindness.

638

It's a skill that we have

to continuously mold.

639

We have to refine.

640

We have to find the right language

in which we can communicate

641

that love for someone else.

642

Now, even with all those things said,

I know that building on those four

643

pillars of confidence means that

we have to build upon ourselves.

644

We have to learn that our brains are

not working against each other, because

645

our brains, as much as they want to

manifest protection and making sure

646

that we're okay at the end of the day,

means that we have to learn survival.

647

What does it mean to grow value?

648

What does it mean to create

that authenticity in ourself?

649

Sometimes we have to figure

out that we are dating someone

650

that is in a different body.

651

Having that conflict, having that chaos

that takes place while we're manifesting

652

that confidence, means that we have to

learn where those responding points of

653

our body are at, which means that it's

not just a physical manifestation, it's

654

an emotional manifestation, but I know

that even if you're hearing all this, you

655

might be asking yourself, "That's great.

656

I have no idea what you've been

saying the last five minutes,

657

Josh, but it sounds all awesome.

658

Can you just break it down for me

in just one, concrete sentence?"

659

Absolutely.

660

Are you ready?

661

Open yourself up to the obstacles

and the opportunities that come along

662

with it while you're enjoying success.

663

Obstacles, opportunities, and success.

664

We're never going to get it

right the first time, maybe

665

not even the second time.

666

For me, it's about a dozen times now that

I've tried in my life to fall in love,

667

but every time I've screwed it up, whether

it's with someone else, or I know for a

668

fact, it is me, but you have to learn that

you're not doing it because of all the

669

things that are going on in your life.

670

It means that you have to understand

that success comes from the things

671

that you're called to do, what

you're willing to fall in love with.

672

Whether that is really with a

person, or where I'm heading this

673

conversation towards, which is the

things that you really enjoy doing,

674

because if you don't love what you're

doing, you'll never find success.

675

You will always hate and dread

what you're really trying to do.

676

There have been many jobs in my life,

even the jobs that I sometimes have

677

held and talked about on this show,

that made me feel like maybe I had to

678

go through that period of time to learn

something about myself, but I should

679

have never held myself back from that

unlimited potential that I have inside

680

of myself, because I should have found

the love that I was seeking a long time

681

ago, but you have to hold that vision

of what you're really looking for.

682

The vision that we have for ourselves,

whether that is with someone else,

683

or who we want to be, means that we

might have to challenge the status quo.

684

We have to hold ourselves to a higher

standard, and even if you say that

685

maybe I should do it, you should

do it, because part of this whole

686

process, this whole vision that

we're working towards, means that we

687

have to leave room for improvement.

688

You have to have an opportunity to

grow, and when you have opportunities

689

that you're trying to excel in,

the goals in which you're trying to

690

accomplish, it means that you have to

have a bigger vision for the overall

691

picture that you're trying to paint.

692

You have to learn that

success comes from trials.

693

It doesn't just come handed to you,

because if you think that everything

694

that everybody has ever received in their

life was handed to them, think again.

695

I'm sure you can think of a number

of different people that would

696

challenge even that assumption.

697

Even for myself, some of the family

members that I've had in my life

698

think that I was handed everything,

and they had some sort of jealousy.

699

They had false love for what I had,

because what was really false about

700

what I had was not just the things that

I've already tried to accomplish, some

701

of the things that I've already had

in my possession what they failed to

702

realize was that I had to work for it.

703

It was not easy for me to find it,

because I had to find the vision, the

704

courage in which I needed to attain

that level of opportunity to get to

705

that next level by challenging myself,

and friends, I think if we ever are

706

going to learn from stories like Navi's,

especially if we're going to date

707

someone, if we're going to fall in love,

if we're ever going to cultivate this

708

confidence that we have that we deserve

to be loved, we have to realize that

709

we have to strive for something bigger.

710

I know that that is easier said than

done, in this world in which is always

711

changing; that it's always trying to get

one on you, because it's always looking

712

to find ways to push back, and sure, maybe

there are situations that are causing

713

havoc, terrible confusion, maybe making

you feel like you're not so magnetic of a

714

personality, but we have to keep trying.

715

We have to keep learning and doing.

716

Not taking any shortcuts.

717

Not finding some sort of cheat book

in which we can hack into the system

718

and manipulate the code in our favor.

719

We have to learn that we have to grow

these opportunities by earnest hard

720

work, dedication, and commitment towards

what we're ultimately trying to achieve.

721

Hold yourself to a higher vision.

722

Find someone, like a love and

relationship coach, a professional,

723

personal development coach like myself

even, that will help you to realize

724

that you have bigger gifts to give.

725

Challenging yourself, even if you

feel that there is no problem, is

726

something that you still need to

push yourself to do, no matter which

727

way you might feel about yourself,

or even others for that matter.

728

That other person, that antithesis of

yourself, might be the one that's even

729

screaming the loudest, saying that

you're never going to be able to succeed.

730

You're never going to

be able to fall in love.

731

You're never going to be able to open

yourself up to new obstacles that can

732

challenge you to become the best version

of who you are, but let's face it.

733

Whether it's for love, or money,

or recognition, fame, sex, drugs,

734

alcohol, regardless of what it

is, even if it's good or bad, just

735

know that it does take hard work.

736

I believe in you though, just as much

as my guest believes in you, to try

737

to challenge yourself and how your

brain works, because our brain has

738

been wired from millions of years

ago to still think that we're in

739

this survival mode, and sure, maybe

conditions in today's world make you

740

feel that way, but is that a perception,

or is that really truly your reality?

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I know that it is so easy to just fall

back, relax, and Netflix and chill,

742

especially with all the things that are

happening around you, but let's face it.

743

You have a lot more to offer,

especially to a certain someone

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that you might have not yet met in

your life, or even had encountered

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in your own version of yourself.

746

Can't you find a place where

you can be loved even more?

747

To be encouraged even more deeply

than you ever thought possible, but

748

to also create repeating situations

that make you happy as a whole?

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I think it's possible.

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I think it's truly a beautiful thing if

you're able to do that, because friends,

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I believe you can live your passions.

752

I believe you can live the values

that you're trying to find peace with.

753

You're able to cultivate that self trust,

but more importantly, I know you have

754

it in you to spend a little bit more

time to practice intentionality with the

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love and kindness that's inside of you,

because that's what I really want to see.

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It's your authentic self, even in all

the love and all the relationships

757

that you have going forward.

758

Thanks for listening to episode

number 138 of Speaking From the

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Heart, and I look forward to

hearing from your heart very soon.

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Outro: Thanks for listening.

761

For more information about our podcast

and future shows, search for Speaking From

762

The Heart to subscribe and be notified

wherever you listen to your podcasts.

763

Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz

for more information about potential

764

services that can help you create

the best version of yourself.

765

See you next time.