Shownotes
What happens when fear becomes your comfort zone? For Carolyn J. Murphy, that fear started in early childhood—and ruled her life for decades. In this soul-shaking episode, Carolyn shares her story of surviving molestation, rape, and family loss, while carrying the invisible weight of perfectionism, people-pleasing, and generational pain. But this isn’t a story about what broke her—it’s a story about what rebuilt her.
Here’s what you’ll hear:
- 🔥 How trauma in childhood becomes identity in adulthood
- 😔 Wearing the mask of perfection while dying inside
- 💥 How the “strong Black woman” trope keeps us trapped in survival
- 🙏 Reconnecting with God and finding purpose through pain
- 🧠 Unpacking generational trauma with radical self-awareness
- 🤝 Why community—not isolation—is essential to healing
- 🧩 How Carolyn’s SCARS framework helps women break free
🎙️ What We Talk About:
- The silent trauma Black girls grow up masking
- Breaking generational cycles through self-awareness
- How to grieve a mother who’s still alive (or just passed)
- Learning to lean into softness after years of hardness
- The problem with perfectionism and “high-functioning” depression
- Shifting from independence to divine dependence
- Why healing is not about being strong—it’s about being whole
🔑 Key Takeaways:
“Fear was my friend. Until I realized it was my prison.”
“Your trauma shapes you, but it doesn’t define you.
“That strong Black woman cape? It’s heavy—and it’s killing us.”
“Your purpose is greater than your pain. But you have to choose it.”
🙌 Why This Episode Matters:
So many Black women are praised for being strong, but no one sees the wounds beneath the strength. This episode is a call to drop the cape, stop hiding behind the mask, and finally give yourself permission to be soft, human, and healing. If you’re ready to break up with fear and start building firm foundations rooted in truth—this conversation will meet you where you are.
💬 Connect with Carolyn:
- 🌐 Website: www.carolynjmurphy.com
- 📖 Book: God, Why Did You Save Me?
- 📱 IG, TikTok, Facebook, LinkedIn: Carolyn J. Murphy / Firm Foundations CO
- 🎁 Join a Listening Session or the SCARS community support circle
🔗 Resources & Links:
