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Today I'm welcoming Sarah, aka Labor Junkie RN, an incredible RN with 16 years under her belt, mostly in high-risk labor, delivery, recovery, and postpartum - talk about a queen in the birth space! As a mom of three little ones, she somehow juggles it all while dishing out the most honest, evidence-based education on social media. We dove into her personal unmedicated birth stories, how she prepped with simple, yet intentional things like prenatal yoga and deep breathing walks, and why labor prep is all about aligning with your own goals.
We unpacked some eye-opening misconceptions, like how inductions can take forever if you're not prepped, or how postpartum and breastfeeding often catch families off guard with the wild spectrum of highs and lows. We got real about balancing the "scary" truths with empowering information, stressing advocacy, communication with your team, and trusting your gut. Sarah's all about giving you the tools to own your experience, whether it's low-intervention or whatever feels right for you - it's so inspiring to chat with someone who's been there as both a nurse and a mom, helping families feel seen and ready.
More from Sarah, Labor Junkie, RN:
Follow Sarah on Instagram, TikTok, FaceBook, & YouTube: @labor_junkie_rn
Helpful Timestamps:
About your host:
🩺🤰🏻Lo Mansfield, MSN, RNC-OB, CLC is a registered nurse, mama of 4, and a birth, baby, and motherhood enthusiast. She is both the host of the Lo & Behold podcast and the founder of The Labor Mama.
For more education, support and “me too” from Lo, please visit her website and check out her online courses and digital guides for birth, breastfeeding, and postpartum/newborns. You can also follow @thelabormama and @loandbehold_thepodcast on Instagram and join her email list here.
For more pregnancy, birth, postpartum and motherhood conversation each week, be sure to subscribe to The Lo & Behold podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you prefer to listen!
👉🏼 A request: If this episode meant something to you, would you consider a 5 star rating and leaving us a review? Yes, we read them, and yes, they help keep L & B going! ♥️
Connect with Lo more on: INSTAGRAM | TIK TOK | PINTEREST | FACEBOOK
Disclaimer
Opinions shared by guests of this show are their own, and do not always reflect those of The Labor Mama platform. Additionally, the information you hear on this podcast or that you receive via any linked resources should not be considered medical advice. Please see our full disclaimer here.
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Produced and Edited by Vaden Podcast Services
Mentioned in this episode:
I did skip the epidural for all three of my children.
Sarah:But it wasn't because I saw anything that scared me away from it.
Sarah:It truly was just, it aligned with my personality and my goals for myself
Lo:what are some.
Lo:Maybe misconceptions or things that just reality wasn't exactly like lining up with how you thought it would be.
Sarah:people would come in for an induction and I think there's definitely time and a place for inductions.
Sarah:But people would come in and what I do think is.
Sarah:Not okay.
Sarah:Is that they had no idea of any of it.
Speaker:Motherhood is all consuming.
Speaker:Having babies, nursing, feeling the fear of loving someone that much, and there's this baby on your chest, and boom, your entire life has changed.
:It's a privilege of being your child's safest space and watching your heart walk around outside of your body.
:The truth is.
:I can be having the best time being a mom one minute, and then the next, I'm questioning all my life choices.
Speaker:I'm Lo Mansfield, your host of the Lo and Behold podcast, mama of four Littles, former labor and postpartum RN, CLC, and your new best friend in the messy middle space of all the choices you are making in pregnancy, birth, and motherhood.
Speaker:If there is one thing I know after years of delivering babies at the bedside and then having, and now raising those four of my own, it is that there is no such thing as a best way to do any of this.
Speaker:And we're leaning into that truth here with the mix of real life and what the textbook says, expert Insights and practical applications.
Speaker:Each week we're making our way towards stories that we participate in, stories that we are honest about, and stories that are ours.
Speaker:This is the lo and behold podcast.
Lo:Hello.
Lo:Hello.
Lo:I have an absolute gem of a guest for you guys today.
Lo:Such a delight to have this conversation, and I will be surprised if you have never heard of her.
Lo:Actually, I am chatting with Sarah, better known as Labor Junkie rn, on basically all the big social media platforms.
Lo:Sarah has been an RN for 16 years.
Lo:She spent the majority of those RN years in high risk labor, delivery, recovery, postpartum.
Lo:She's also a mama of three young babies, which sometimes I am like, how?
Lo:Because she puts out.
Lo:So much incredible content and is clearly also raising three little kids in the midst of it.
Lo:Sarah started the social media journey of her nursing career in 2022.
Lo:She opened her first account on TikTok.
Lo:It grew very quickly and over there she is just sharing evidence-based non-judgmental education for families expecting.
Lo:It sounds really simple.
Lo:That might sound a little vanilla, but that's literally what she's doing.
Lo:It is so good, so honest, so real, so easy to listen to, and so easy to apply.
Lo:Since opening that TikTok account, she has also gone ahead and opened up social media accounts on all the other big platforms.
Lo:You can find her on any of them at Labor Junkie rn, and you will see very quickly that she is popular for a very good reason.
Lo:She is so easy to listen to you guys.
Lo:She is so easy to learn from she does such a good job, presenting information to you and just saying, Hey, like, go take what I've taught you.
Lo:Go take what I just put in front of you and go do something with it.
Lo:So she's the gift to talk
Sarah:to.
Sarah:And I'm really excited to put this conversation in front of you.
Lo:Alright, you guys, she didn't call herself this, but I'm gonna call her this.
Lo:My guest stay is a queen in the labor, birth and postpartum space.
Lo:I have Sarah with me, labor Junkie rn.
Lo:I'm gonna let her introduce herself to you, but.
Lo:She's a queen in my, in my personal opinion.
Lo:Okay.
Lo:Sarah, go.
Sarah:That's, wow, those are really, really, you like it?
Sarah:Sweet Intro, I'll take it.
Sarah:Yeah.
Sarah:My name is Sarah.
Sarah:I have been a nurse for 16 years.
Sarah:And then I've spent most of that time, like two thirds of my career just doing high risk labor postpartum.
Sarah:We, in my high risk, we, we take literally everything.
Sarah:So, we also get just standard low risk births, but that's really what the specialty is where I work.
Sarah:And I'm a mom.
Sarah:I have a two, four, and 6-year-old.
Sarah:So yeah.
Lo:I was curious.
Lo:Sometimes you mix, videos from like different times in life, obviously.
Lo:Like I do.
Lo:We all have different videos and so sometimes I'm like.
Lo:Wait, how old are your kids?
Lo:And I know you don't actively share, and we're not all supposed to like know all the intimate details of your children and that's great, but sometimes I'm like, she's not pregnant right now, is she?
Lo:Like, no.
Lo:Which I use pregnancy videos all the time too.
Lo:So again, like that makes sense to me.
Lo:But I don't know that I ever knew where you were
Sarah:at
Lo:specifically
Sarah:with the three kids
Lo:right now.
Sarah:Yeah, it definitely confuses people.
Sarah:My, I started TikTok three years ago and, so my TikTok.
Sarah:Is pretty chronological and it's less confusing and it's really well organized.
Sarah:I have all of like my playlists up there and then, about like a year and a half ago, I, my friends convinced me to get on the other platforms 'cause there's people who are on there that are not on TikTok who deserve the information.
Sarah:So I've been like doing just this mass, trying to move everything over.
Sarah:To the other platforms that I had been working on over the past three years.
Sarah:But it gets very frustrating for people on the other platforms 'cause they're like, you're pregnant and you're not pregnant and you're postpartum.
Sarah:And the kids won and the kid's three.
Sarah:And
Lo:so I know just yesterday someone sent me a, or it was a comment or a DM or something and they're like.
Lo:What are you doing when you're up with her at night?
Lo:And I was like, well, I'm not anymore, but I
Sarah:tell
Lo:you what
Sarah:I
Lo:did do 18 months ago.
Sarah:Yeah,
Sarah:well, people like write congratulations and the, the kids too.
Sarah:I feel so bad.
Sarah:I'm like, I mean, this is old.
Sarah:I know.
Sarah:On whole video, so
Lo:I know.
Sarah:Yeah.
Lo:But it's like, I think it's actually speaks to kind of the space.
Lo:There's something really sweet when, when you are with a provider who's like in it with you.
Lo:Right.
Lo:And so if you are following along with someone, that's really cool.
Lo:Right?
Lo:And so those few times where I've had kids and I'm sure.
Lo:Where you have kids, I'm sure if someone found you and they were pregnant right with you, like that feels really cool when that does happen.
Lo:Yeah.
Lo:And obviously at some point we stop having children and so that's not gonna keep happening.
Lo:But I do think it's neat like to be in that season and to be kind of sharing or educating at the same time as you're going through it.
Lo:It's just, it's just cool to be able to do that.
Lo:And so you've obviously gotten to step into it right?
Lo:When you are going through some of it, which is cool.
Sarah:Yes, absolutely.
Sarah:Yeah.
Lo:Okay.
Lo:So I know from following some of your videos and the paying attention, that you have had your kiddos unmedicated, I wanted to talk to you about that, both like personally as a mom, just like some of the choice.
Lo:And how you landed on wanting that, especially 'cause you'd been in l and d for quite a while at that time.
Lo:then kind of some stuff of like how it went and tips and things that we can kind of share just in the midst of that conversation.
Lo:So to kind of kick that off, will you just kind of share a little bit of like why that's what you wanted or how you kind of got to being hopeful for that when you, when Yeah.
Lo:When you were pregnant with either the first one or, I'm sure that's what you wanted with all of them, so how that
Sarah:looked.
Sarah:Yeah.
Sarah:Absolutely.
Sarah:I think the first thing I make sure everybody knows is, so I did skip the epidural for all three of my children.
Sarah:But it wasn't because in my years as a labor nurse, I saw anything sinister that scared me away from it.
Sarah:There was no secret that I see behind the scenes that, that I'm choosing this because it was safer or better.
Sarah:It truly was just, it aligned with my personality and my goals for myself when I was having a baby.
Sarah:So I had seen lots and lots and lots and lots of different kinds of births and the birth that I wanted for myself that fits my personality because, in a lot of ways in my work, I'm Type A, but I actually pretty mellow and type B in my personal life.
Sarah:So I wanted, low intervention, minimal, kind of hands off as much as possible.
Sarah:I did not want to get into like my nurse brain during birth and think I'm at work and I didn't wanna get, you know, watching the clock and wondering if I'm changing and making progress or looking at the monitor.
Sarah:I really wanted to just feel like, you know, I could let go of all of that and, and be in the moment and the experience and, and then when it was finished, if we were both, well, I could just kind of resume things and pick up where I left off.
Sarah:So for what I was looking for for my birth, the best way for that to happen for somebody like me who is low risk, was to kind of await labor and do what I could in, in my own little world to like increase my odds of a, of a better outcome for me, nothing will guarantee that.
Sarah:And, yeah, and I wasn't opposed to an epidural at any point.
Sarah:It just so happens that like my births played out stable and they progressed well and everything was like the stars aligned.
Sarah:I was comfortable in coping well without the epidural.
Sarah:I think if that would've changed or I felt like I was suffering or my situation changed, I absolutely always had that on the table as an option.
Sarah:But yeah, I got what I was looking for.
Sarah:I got the low intervention hands off, minimal kind of relaxed vibe that I was looking for.
Sarah:That works for who I am.
Sarah:So
Lo:I like, there's like all these little snippets that I heard in that where I was like, oh, that's so teachable.
Lo:Which sounds like.
Lo:Geez.
Lo:It's not like we have to break every birth story we ever hear down into these teachable things.
Lo:But I do love that idea of like, obviously like what you feel good about and like what mm-hmm you care about because not everybody is gonna, like, this ran, this was felt kind of random to me.
Lo:I bet you would understand since you'd seen a lot of births in your profession too, but like.
Lo:I had this thing in my head 'cause I wanted to do unmedicated adverse as well, where mm-hmm.
Lo:If baby needed anything after birth, I wanted to know, I could walk and like go with him, like to the NICU or follow or whatever.
Lo:Like to me that was a really big deal.
Lo:And of course any parent would probably not want to be disconnected from their baby, but to me that was like something that was part of it.
Lo:And I remember talking to my husband Kelvin about it, like, I just wanna be able to walk like immediately.
Lo:Like you just use the vocabulary, like just get right back.
Lo:Get, like, get right back to things.
Lo:Yes.
Lo:Once the baby's born.
Lo:And that was a big thing for me of like, if I have to go pee, I wanna like be able to walk and go to the toilet really quick and pee.
Lo:Mm-hmm.
Lo:Or shower.
Lo:I not because I like cared about the hygiene, but I just wanted that freedom.
Sarah:Yeah.
Lo:During the birth, but also after.
Lo:And so that became like something that mattered to me.
Lo:And I think a lot of people are like, that's not that big of a deal to me.
Lo:Like, I'll just lay in the bed while my epidural wears off, which is so normal.
Lo:Mm-hmm.
Lo:And, and then, you know, do X, Y, z after or whatever.
Sarah:That makes so much sense.
Sarah:I think there's other people that probably can relate to that, so I, I think, it just kind of like underscores how important it is to like, personalize everybody's experience to like what's going to bring them the most peace.
Sarah:Like relieve anxieties and fears.
Sarah:So for you like being able to get up out of your bed and reach your baby on your own independently as soon as humanly possible, like that's completely makes sense.
Sarah:So I think like an unmedicated birth or non epidural would, it would make a lot of sense if I were your nurse why you would want that.
Sarah:So
Lo:Yeah.
Sarah:Yeah, I get it.
Sarah:I completely get it.
Lo:That's the highlights.
Lo:Like we come into this with like such different things and I think that's why it's.
Lo:So, so helpful when we do have educators who have like worked in different places, live in different parts of the country, have had different experiences.
Lo:'cause then you get people saying like, it could go like this.
Lo:This is how it went.
Lo:For me, just like getting all of those different perspectives and possibilities so that me, the patient, the mom, whatever, at home.
Lo:Can be going, oh, I never considered that.
Lo:Oh, that's interesting.
Lo:Like, I think that that's what's so nice sometimes of getting out of a silo.
Lo:Like I, I'd be curious what you'd say to this.
Lo:Typically, I'm like, pick like one or two voices to listen to on social media.
Lo:Mm-hmm.
Lo:Right?
Lo:Because too many is overwhelming and it's not gonna serve you.
Lo:Mm-hmm.
Lo:But there's also some like sweetness in, in getting a little like, breadth of education and experience from different people because it's gonna introduce you to like things you hadn't considered yet.
Lo:And so it's like such a balance too.
Lo:Choose who to listen to.
Lo:Choose who not to listen to, but also be like, I do wanna hear some different things and then like kind of craft these preferences or these hopes or whatever
Sarah:that I
Lo:do have.
Sarah:Absolutely.
Sarah:Yeah, absolutely.
Sarah:We've talked about that.
Sarah:Me and some of the other girls who are nurse content creators, that there's a fine line of kind of like creating your own, your own little universe and your own bubble, where that's a reality you've created for yourself.
Sarah:That's, that's self perpetuating.
Sarah:There's this fine line of, you wanna keep it small, you don't wanna be overwhelmed with information.
Sarah:You wanna have your nice little safe bubble.
Sarah:But, there is beauty in stepping out of your bubble and connecting with completely different stories and experiences and beliefs and, I think it's really important to acknowledge different ways to birth and different ways to approach it.
Sarah:Like as a birth worker and as a parent.
Sarah:And, you know, when you're making the choice of like how much input, the input would be too much versus like, am I staying in a little bubble where this is kind of like I'm closing my mind or am I allowing way too much input and it's overwhelming?
Sarah:I think like things that can be helpful and determining like where that line is, is like look at the credibility from the people that you're receiving input, you know, what kind of credentials they have.
Sarah:Are we fearmongering?
Sarah:Are we.
Sarah:Are we like really, really polarized opinions?
Sarah:Are we using like sweeping generalizations?
Sarah:That's stuff we wanna kind of get out of our world.
Sarah:You want people who understand that things vary and maybe have credibility, and then if you're just looking, it's just birth stories.
Sarah:It doesn't need to be a birth professional.
Sarah:I think it's good to have like look at positive birth stories and maybe hear about things that went a little sideways, but maybe don't get too, too stuck there.
Sarah:That can get a little scary.
Sarah:And then if you feel yourself like feeling anxious or overwhelmed by a somebody you're following or stories you're hearing, then I think maybe like dial it down, you know?
Sarah:But yeah, that's a tricky line of how much input is too much or am I closing myself off to important input.
Sarah:So it's
Lo:such
Sarah:social media.
Lo:Exactly.
Lo:That's what I saying.
Lo:It's like a whole new world for these families now coming up and being pregnant and ha wanting education is 'cause you can receive a ton.
Lo:You need to be careful to like curate it and cultivate it in a healthy way because it's not all gonna serve you.
Lo:Mm-hmm.
Lo:Yeah.
Lo:It's just such a fine line for these families to be walking right now.
Lo:So.
Lo:Yeah.
Lo:And I mean, not like to do a little goer, but you do a really good job of just like presenting what happens.
Lo:And I think that that, that's why.
Lo:What could happen, I would say, and I think that's why so many people have resonated with it over the last couple years for you, is because it's like, I don't really want to be told what to do that isn't mm-hmm.
Lo:Actually valuable to, to us.
Lo:But I do wanna know what could happen or what my options are.
Lo:And I get to pick, like, give me my autonomy back too, and like, let me make the choice too.
Lo:I always love that you're just like, here's five things that happen when you get in the or.
Lo:Okay, cool.
Lo:And then it's like now the responsibility is on you.
Lo:Family, parent patient to go decide what to do with that information.
Lo:Like it's not Sarah's job.
Lo:It's not your job to be like, and now that you know that, here's what you should do.
Lo:Like, and I think sometimes that's what's happening is you get those.
Lo:You know, you mentioned like people are very polarizing, is they're also doing the like, and here's what you do.
Lo:I'm like,
Sarah:yes.
Sarah:What i's exactly right?
Sarah:This is, and that's, that's actually so helpful to hear because my whole goal when I started this was I just wanted to present that, like whatever knowledge I had, whatever information I had, I think everybody is deserving of that.
Sarah:And.
Sarah:Then they can, like everybody has agency of over their own body, they have autonomy, and then they can kind of see how that information sits with them and explore the options with their provider and their team, and then find something that feels right because, yeah, that's, that's really at the end of the day, whether you're giving birth or in the hospital for a completely different reason.
Sarah:Like it's easy to feel like you've given up autonomy and it's especially like you're physically laying down in bed in the center of the room in hospital clothes, and these people are towering over you.
Sarah:Even if they have the best intentions, it can feel super foreign and intimidating, and it can feel really easy that like they're in charge, you know?
Sarah:And so I think.
Sarah:All I want is for people to have the information.
Sarah:I want it to be digestible.
Sarah:I want it to plant seeds of curiosity.
Sarah:And then they, they go down the path that feels right for them outta a place of knowledge and not like fear.
Sarah:So yeah, that's, that's all I want.
Lo:You're doing it.
Lo:You're doing a great job at it.
Lo:Okay, so I'm gonna circle this back to the, unmedicated birth combo too, so we can kind of.
Lo:I don't know, just give people some of the tools or the things that you did utilize both, you know, again, with education as nurse and then going through it like how did you guys prep for this?
Lo:What did that look like for you?
Lo:Because there's some inherent truth to being in a hospital, changes the way birth is going to look, right?
Lo:And so what if you're particular, if you want a medicated birth, you know, you gotta think through some of that and like, how am I gonna create an environment that I like there what I'm gonna bring from home or whatever.
Lo:So what were some of the things that you guys did?
Lo:I'm saying you and your husband to Yeah.
Lo:To prep and prepare and get him on board.
Lo:If he wasn't, I don't know if he was.
Sarah:Mm-hmm.
Lo:And kind of think through, like having an unmedicated birth specifically in that more clinical setting.
Sarah:Yeah.
Sarah:I mean, these are great, great questions to ask.
Sarah:I think the first thing was I, I kind of felt out what, like what my goals were, like a general goal, what I was looking for, the vibe that I was going for, things that were important to me.
Sarah:And, I don't wanna call it like a birth plan, but ultimate these preferences there, that really is what a birth plan is, is, right?
Sarah:What are your preferences?
Sarah:What are things you hope happen or don't happen?
Sarah:So I started teasing that out throughout my pregnancy.
Sarah:And then I was very verbal about that with my partner, because I kind of expected that if I did get into active labor and it was getting like, you know, we were rocking and rolling.
Sarah:I don't wanna have to, parrot these same pieces of information to staff while I'm contracting.
Sarah:So I wanted my husband to be really well versed on my preferences so he could advocate for me.
Sarah:And then there were other people that were being supportive to me, they were my coworkers.
Sarah:So that's a privilege I have that the people that were helping me deliver my baby were also my friends.
Sarah:So that's a privilege most people don't have, but I would just text them what I was looking, what I was looking for, preferences I had as they came along.
Sarah:So I think honestly.
Sarah:One of the biggest things I leveraged was communication of my preferences and making sure everybody, it was very clear that like I'm the boss, and so I just wanted there to be like, no question of what my goals were then.
Sarah:Then as far as like physically prepping my body, you know, with my first, I had no toddlers running around.
Sarah:I had no preschoolers, so I had nothing but time and work, right?
Sarah:So I did a lot of walking, because I just, and while I walked I was practicing deep breathing, so it wasn't like you would see like LAMA classes, like the, he, he who's like, I was practicing doing slow measured, regulated breathing when I was going up a challenging hill.
Sarah:I was practicing relax.
Sarah:If I stubbed my toe, I'd practice like keeping my body relaxed like a ragdoll instead of clenching it up.
Sarah:Just little practices like that.
Sarah:So I did lots of walking.
Sarah:I did prenatal yoga, which that was important to me 'cause I think there's a level of like physical strength and prep that you may need to do, but there's like mental prep you need to do.
Sarah:So yoga kind of helped me mentally get in the right spot and it's easy to tell people.
Sarah:Like, relax your body, drop your arms, you know, take deep breaths.
Sarah:That's a skill that needs to be developed, right?
Sarah:Like that's not, when you do stub your toe, you don't just like deep breathe.
Sarah:Like you usually bring everything in and you're like, Ugh, and you're clenched.
Sarah:So to do the total opposite of what you've been doing your whole life when you're in pain, which is relax and lean into it, like that's a learned skill.
Sarah:So prenatal yoga was really helpful for me because these things of like, take a deep breath, be loose, relax imagery.
Sarah:That's something it was able to create, it made it muscle memory.
Sarah:So then when the day came and I was feeling discomfort and pain and contractions, it was more second nature.
Sarah:It, it wasn't, this thing I was struggling to do.
Sarah:I was very comfortable with the breathing and the relaxing.
Sarah:And, so I'd say, yeah, like I knew what my wanted, I really was vocal about it with my husband and the people that were gonna be supporting me.
Sarah:I walked, I did prenatal yoga and I think those were probably like the most.
Sarah:Helpful things like, like actual pragmatic things that help me achieve my goal.
Sarah:And then I think the last one is like just emotionally prepping for like contingencies, right?
Sarah:So I, I do think a lot and the way I cope with just like life is I'm like, what's the worst case scenario?
Sarah:And let me find a way to accept that if it were to happen.
Sarah:So I'm like, okay, what's the worst case scenario?
Sarah:And for me, that would be like everything totally going off the rails and it was like super over the top medicalized.
Sarah:And I'm unwell, my baby's unwell.
Sarah:And I'm like, how do I cope with that?
Sarah:If what I wanted doesn't come to fruition.
Sarah:So I, for everybody that's gonna be different.
Sarah:And, I'm somebody who's a big believer in therapy, so I found a way to, like, how would I cope with that if it happened?
Sarah:And, I think that helped me have a good balance of advocacy and, you know, autonomy, but also, not hanging on like, and being too controlling over things I have no control over, you know?
Lo:Right.
Lo:It's funny, I feel like we're.
Lo:Two peas in a pod with some of this, some of the way you were describing prep, because what I actually heard in it is, is that this wasn't really complicated.
Lo:Like a lot of it was simple, but intentional, right?
Lo:Mm-hmm.
Lo:Like going on a walk and practicing breathing, it can sound like a little bit silly, right?
Lo:Mm-hmm.
Lo:Like we've been, like you said, like we've been breathing our whole lives, but not like this.
Lo:And so to, to intentionally like deep breathe and control your breathing and slow it down, like in a situation like labor requires practice.
Lo:And so I think sometimes little things like that, you know, people say, oh yeah, I need to know how to breathe or learn how to breathe.
Lo:But to recognize that it is something that you can truly just do when you stab your toe and think.
Lo:I need to change my response.
Lo:and also recognizing, I think some people, sometimes they see the, the ice thing, you know, where you hold the ice.
Sarah:Yes.
Lo:Yeah.
Lo:And then, and a lot.
Lo:And you get a lot of the comments though, of like, that's not what labor's like.
Lo:And it's like, no, it's not.
Lo:That's not the point.
Lo:What like, to me, what we're doing here is we're recognizing how we like to respond when we're uncomfortable.
Lo:Mm-hmm.
Lo:And then thinking about how to change the response.
Lo:Of course, holding an ice cube isn't the same as a contraction at eight centimeters.
Lo:Mm-hmm.
Lo:Like, I would never claim that, but it's about like.
Lo:Changing the way your body wants to respond when you don't love what's going on around you.
Lo:And I think sometimes that those people can almost make labor prep more complicated than it is.
Lo:Yeah.
Lo:Particularly like if we're talking unmedicated or we're just saying, use your breath, like use your body.
Lo:And so I like hearing you touch on that.
Lo:It wasn't.
Lo:And there's nothing wrong with doing like a hypnobirthing course or having these breathing course, like that's not my message either, but just to recognize like there are some tools inside of us already, but we have to learn how to, to wield them well in regards to birth.
Sarah:Yes, I absolutely agree.
Sarah:And I think that's it.
Sarah:It's like we have these basic skills, but we've, but we need to adapt them a little differently for birth because.
Sarah:You know, normally pain tells us something's really wrong, but with birth it's a different scenario because it's like pain with a purpose.
Sarah:So we have to work with it differently.
Sarah:And so I also think, you know, then when I did start having kids and I have toddlers and preschoolers, and then I'm nine months pregnant and I'm working.
Sarah:Some of the tools that I would've been accessing when I didn't have children some of the time that I would've had, it's no longer available.
Sarah:So then all I really did have was like whatever prenatal yoga was streaming on YouTube or my walks and things like that.
Sarah:So, it definitely needs to be something that's like, if we're being really honest about what's a way to prep for unmedicated birth.
Sarah:Not everybody has access to like a really expensive, nice birth course.
Sarah:So there are ways you can still prep for like a, a low intervention birth that doesn't have to cost a lot of money.
Sarah:And so I really do think, yeah, like you, there's a ton of like prenatal stuff online, prenatal yoga, prenatal exercising, like breathing techniques that you can get completely free even on streaming platforms.
Sarah:So ideally like a in-person course would be lovely to have like an instructor.
Sarah:Adjust you in real time and help you with your, your relaxing and your breathing.
Sarah:But again, it's not accessible to everybody.
Sarah:So something like very attainable is like practicing the breathing on walks or going online and finding free videos.
Sarah:I think another thing I, I had forgotten to mention too that really helps was with my first, my husband and I did do like birth courses and newborn care courses because that was not new information for me as a birth worker.
Sarah:But, he works in hr, so like, it's totally, and he passes out when he gets his blood drawn.
Sarah:Like he is not that guy.
Sarah:So it was really good because, we had an amazing instructor and she just, she would like quiz him, she'd show him videos of people in labor and quiz him like, do you think this person should go to the hospital yet?
Sarah:Look at how they're.
Sarah:They got him really comfortable with people in pain during labor.
Sarah:so then when I was having babies and in labor, he didn't feel scared by my, like, discomfort.
Sarah:He was like, this is normal.
Sarah:Like, and then he, he, we both were in tune with when I was ready to go to the hospital.
Sarah:It wasn't a surprise to him.
Sarah:We both were on the same page.
Sarah:So I do think like that if you can't access a course a lot, again, you can find a lot of them free.
Sarah:Or like hospitals sometimes do them for free.
Sarah:That's good for like you and your support people, but if you can't access them, there's plenty of ways to prep that are, that are completely free.
Lo:And including that birth partner, like you're saying, like, yes, you, you know, talking to the, if you're pregnant right now, do the work.
Lo:Yeah.
Lo:Or do the learning, like, and you can find different resources for it.
Lo:But if you can get that birth partner, whoever it is Yeah.
Lo:Whoever that person is, who's gonna be able to show up for you.
Lo:I was just talking, I mentioned to you, I was talking to Tina from Momina and she had mentioned like sometimes that's not gonna be the person who made the baby, right?
Lo:Yeah.
Lo:Like it might be someone else.
Lo:And so just whoever that person is and can be for you, like really getting them involved so that they see this process as normal, so that recognize that like pain doesn't equal something going wrong, like having those kind of.
Lo:Threads for them are so valuable for them being able to show up for you.
Lo:So I think like if you're doing education alone, it's valuable and you need it, of course.
Lo:Mm-hmm.
Lo:Man, if you can get someone to be doing that with you, such a game changer and medicated or not like any type of birth, like I don't know that they always wanna sit and.
Lo:Do the videos or go to the class, but man mm-hmm.
Lo:If they really wanna be there for you.
Lo:They, they should be.
Sarah:I completely agree.
Sarah:I think whoever's gonna be there with you supporting you through that experience, like they need to be like eager learner on how to help you through that.
Sarah:And, and they don't need to know every tiny little detail about birth, but they need to know just like how to support you and how to advocate for you.
Sarah:Because that, that was like a, honestly, especially with my birth videos that I post online, that went so smoothly.
Sarah:I think one of the biggest reasons they went smoothly.
Sarah:It wasn't just because I prepped so well and all of this stuff.
Sarah:Like that's, that's helpful for sure.
Sarah:I really think it's because I had an extremely supportive group of people who respected me, and like I said, I always felt like I was the boss of my care.
Sarah:And, I didn't, if I, when I had horrible back labor was my first, and I didn't have to teach my husband in real time how to, you know, hold my back a certain way.
Sarah:I, I literally could just like get myself through the contractions and they just like came to my side and he knew what to do.
Sarah:He wasn't aloof, you know, it was a really, really helpful tool.
Sarah:It was a privilege that I didn't have to teach them how to support me.
Sarah:They, they had already learned.
Sarah:So a lot of those skills can be, again, like picked up in a birth course.
Sarah:So whoever's supporting you, if they're able to kind of figure out some of these skills or of advocacy and support like that makes it, it takes so much pressure off of you and you can just, you can just be in labor and get through it, you know?
Lo:Yeah.
Lo:It's a game changer.
Lo:It really is.
Lo:Mm-hmm.
Lo:And, and we can talk.
Lo:We don't have to go down this rabbit trail, but that idea of like, the more you feel safe, the more you feel seen, the more present people are like totally.
Lo:All of that helps labor progress.
Lo:So then it's inherently it's gonna go better, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Lo:But kind of like having, absolutely having the people.
Lo:That's why the people around you matter so much.
Lo:It's not like they have to do the work of labor, but man, they.
Lo:Are supporting it so much more than maybe you realize or even they realize.
Lo:So yeah,
Sarah:absolutely.
Sarah:Yes.
Lo:Yeah.
Lo:Okay.
Lo:So I wanna ask some questions maybe that you've picked up obviously at the bedside and this probably where you're generating content ideas from.
Lo:And then online, I'm sure you're getting lots of feedback now too, but what are some.
Lo:Things that you feel like, not maybe misconceptions or things that just reality wasn't exactly like lining up with how you thought it would be.
Lo:Like areas of education where people are like, whoa, whoa, whoa, I had no idea about this.
Lo:Like, what are some of those areas that you feel like really resonate with people?
Lo:I think,
Lo:Yeah,
Sarah:like specific topics, you know?
Sarah:Yeah.
Sarah:I think one topic that, just like in my practice, again, it was one of the reasons I honestly start, there's a lot of reasons I opened my account, but it was just people would come in for an induction and which another thing I'm gonna put out there, I don't think inductions are inherently bad.
Sarah:So this is not, I think there's definitely time and a place for inductions.
Sarah:But people would come in and what I do think is.
Sarah:Not okay.
Sarah:Is that they had, they had no, no idea of any of it.
Sarah:They just, I would've people coming in that didn't even know why they were being induced, they would just, oh, they told me to do it and I'm here.
Sarah:And again, that doesn't mean that the decision to induce was bad advice.
Sarah:It just means like, this is not okay to show up and we are about to do something that requires a lot of intervention and procedures.
Sarah:Again, that doesn't mean it's bad, but it's like this requires informed consent and informed decision making requires chatting and discussions and like managed expectations so that we can lower the risk of like birth trauma and, increase your risk of like a better outcome.
Sarah:So I think inductions was one of 'em.
Sarah:People would come in and they, they didn't know that, they can take a really long time.
Sarah:They didn't know that.
Sarah:At some point the provider usually recommends you just have clear liquids, so they would come in and be pretty hungry from the get go.
Sarah:They didn't know all the different ways that we might try to induce labor.
Sarah:How we come to those conclusions or how we make those recommendations.
Sarah:It's like a big discussion and it, again, it's not a bad thing, but it's like we do need to talk through it so that you're not.
Sarah:Overwhelmed by like all of this information, like the day that you were thinking, A lot of people come in and think they're gonna have a baby a few hours later.
Sarah:Yeah.
Sarah:And so that's a big talk to manage that expectation.
Sarah:I think another thing, they that when, push comes to shove and like reality plays out and they're just like, whoa, I didn't expect this.
Sarah:It's actually postpartum.
Sarah:I think, I think a lot of people, were not.
Sarah:Adequately prepped for postpartum.
Sarah:And I mean that, that's like the immediate postpartum moments all the way to like eight months postpartum.
Sarah:We really fail women there.
Sarah:Like we do a lot of emphasis on birth, which is great 'cause we weren't doing that 30 years ago.
Sarah:But there's not much discussion about even the moments immediately after baby's born.
Sarah:Especially if you have a hospital birth.
Sarah:There's kind of like a flurry of events.
Sarah:If we just kind of manage that expectation and, and tell you, this is something that often happens.
Sarah:And if you don't wanna see that happen, if you don't wanna a flurry events, if you want things to be a little different or you don't want this medicine, or you don't want this, you don't want skin to skin with a baby that's messy, maybe of like, some people have stimulations, you know, tactile stimulation, like a messy baby, that's, they're not about it.
Sarah:And so when you just flop that baby on their chest, or maybe they have past trauma, like these are things that they need to be informed of.
Sarah:Then like going all the way, months and months postpartum, like the hormonal shifts.
Sarah:Baby sleep, breastfeeding is another big topic we are not adequately preparing women for.
Sarah:So I think, yeah, I'd say induction, postpartum and breastfeeding are probably the biggest ones that kind of rock people's worlds.
Sarah:It doesn't mean that it's always bad.
Sarah:It's just really, really different than what they've seen on social media with like mommy vloggers who make things look really beautiful and aesthetic.
Sarah:Or what we show in the movies, you know?
Lo:Yeah, the movie, the movies are probably doing all of us a disservice.
Sarah:Oh my gosh.
Lo:I was talking to a friend about that the other day of how even I just, it's just funny to see like doctors starting IVs and you're like, doctors don't ever start IVs.
Lo:No.
Lo:Or like the doctors, they're pushing and they usually come in right at the end, you know?
Lo:Yeah.
Lo:It's all these things where it's like.
Lo:Hmm, that's that.
Lo:I think most people are aware that like, that's not necessarily true.
Lo:But it is funny how it's still pretty prolific in culture to see birth and postpartum look a certain way.
Lo:I also would say sometimes I think you get that message for postpartum of like.
Lo:Just, it's horrific in every postpartum, almost like, mm-hmm.
Lo:The satire, it becomes like, let's tell the story of postpartum and she is so miserable
Sarah:mm-hmm.
Lo:And never sleeps and hasn't showered in four weeks.
Lo:And, and so like, it can sometimes lean really hard that way too.
Lo:Oh yeah.
Lo:Again, it's like so hard to just find the balance of like, Hey, some of this is so exceptionally hard and some of it's so good.
Lo:More just we have to like, recognize and give each other the grace to be like, you're gonna change how you feel about X, Y, Z every day, maybe multiple times a day.
Lo:Like you're just gonna move in and out of this as like, this is so hard and this is so great and I feel really confident and I don't know how.
Lo:And I'm doing like that.
Lo:That's just such this huge spectrum.
Lo:Yeah.
Lo:And you don't have to land in one spot and that's always who you are, or that's always how you birth or that's always how it looks.
Sarah:Absolutely.
Sarah:I think, and that's kind of like when I approach those topics with my own patients or like on my page, I, I try to just make it clear, like I feel like the whole theme of my page is like, we have evidence and then we have a spectrum of how that evidence will be affecting you.
Sarah:Right.
Sarah:It's a spectrum.
Sarah:That's the best way to put it.
Sarah:There's some things are really extreme on one end and positive or one end of the negative.
Sarah:Some people kind of fall in between.
Sarah:We hover back and forth.
Sarah:That's normal.
Sarah:So I can't, nobody can like predict where we're falling on the spectrum and, you can't completely prep anybody fully for the whole spectrum.
Sarah:But I think it's just good that like, that's the conversation.
Sarah:There is a spectrum.
Sarah:There's a, there's so many shades of postpartum.
Sarah:And I think it's probably a lot of the reason when people do feel really shocked by postpartum or breastfeeding, again, that doesn't mean it was a bad shock, right?
Sarah:It just, they're like, oh, this is not what I expected.
Sarah:It's because we kind of give them like one snippet of potential truth and when there's really like a huge, huge, broad spectrum.
Sarah:And my postpartum with my first baby, I was expecting it to be really, really, really, really, really, really bad and miserable.
Sarah:One of my closest friends had just had a baby and she had like, I was you a really hard postpartum.
Sarah:And, so then I had a baby a few months later and was like, this is gonna be bad.
Sarah:And it was actually good.
Sarah:It was like one of, it was a really sweet time.
Sarah:And I was.
Sarah:Pleasantly surprised.
Sarah:So I think, again, I don't want to like make people think like it will be perfect, but I think again, it's just like speaking to the spectrum.
Sarah:There's no way to really know how it's gonna go.
Sarah:Just know that like it could look like any variety of this.
Sarah:Right?
Lo:Yeah.
Lo:No, I think that that's, that's like the hardest.
Lo:Thing to teach sometimes because mm-hmm.
Lo:Especially when you're online like you are, is that people get like one reel and if you're lucky mm-hmm.
Lo:They'll read the caption if you included education in the caption.
Lo:And it's like, that's not the whole story.
Lo:Like I was literally just talking about the first hour after birth, but not all the rest.
Lo:Right.
Lo:Or like I just was sharing.
Lo:How I felt at six weeks postpartum, but that's not how I felt at four.
Lo:And so there's just this like challenge of educating, obviously you can't share the entire thing online.
Lo:You have to, you have to do these like snippets and little pieces of content and then hope that they're like paying attention to the full picture and realizing that these are all pieces of the puzzle.
Lo:And like all of them eventually fit together.
Lo:And so when people, I think that's like, that's when stuff goes viral.
Lo:Sometimes you start to get all the nasty comments and you're like.
Lo:I know I wasn't saying that this is how it will only look, I was saying this is how it might look, or this is how I experienced it, and then my next piece of content will be how someone else experience.
Lo:You know what I mean?
Lo:Yes.
Lo:But people don't always give you that full.
Lo:I'm saying people now I'm saying those who are consuming is like, when you put out content, you just are like, well stick around.
Lo:Like wait, stay for the whole story, you know?
Lo:Yes, absolutely.
Lo:And that doesn't happen on social media all the time, so it makes it tough.
Sarah:Absolutely.
Sarah:Yeah.
Sarah:It, that's the challenge right there.
Lo:Mm-hmm.
Lo:Do you feel like this kind of goes along good with this question I had in my head of like, how do you balance sharing?
Lo:I'm gonna say, I'm gonna use the word like scary stuff.
Sarah:Yeah.
Lo:But also.
Lo:Like needing it to be out there.
Lo:I just remember sharing something on TikTok once about the OR and I was like showing some different things that happened just.
Lo:Like at a baseline level, you know, like those are STDs on your legs, you know, stuff like that.
Lo:But there was still a lot of comments of like, that looks horrible.
Lo:I would never wanna have my baby that way, or, that's terrifying.
Lo:Or now I'm more scared.
Lo:You know?
Lo:And so it's like, how do you balance introducing maybe situations people don't want, but also like, Hey, I want you to know so that if you find yourself in this situation, you're gonna feel more safe or more aware.
Lo:What do you think about that?
Sarah:I, you know, that's another really good topic because.
Sarah:At the end of the day, something that I, I just had to accept was that it's like, again, like we talk about the spectrum and there's a lot of good that happens involving life and birth and babies and then there's a lot of things that are like some pretty hard truths.
Sarah:And I think there's also like applies to, I do a lot of content about bereavement and.
Sarah:That's a really hard topic to cover when most of my, most of my like audience are people pregnant with a living baby.
Sarah:And so when I'm talking about loss and bereavement and when, and things went differently, that's hard.
Sarah:Nobody wants to hear about that.
Sarah:But we also have to acknowledge like this is a part of our community.
Sarah:And.
Sarah:You know, just it, it's a truth and people need to kind of know that these people exist out there who have gone, gone through something hard, just like crash c-sections and just like shoulder dis distortions and all the really, really scary things we never wanna talk about.
Sarah:'cause it's scary.
Sarah:So I think, like in a, playing it out, like the actual logistics of how I go about it is.
Sarah:I mean, it sounds silly, but I do put trigger warnings because, it then it gives the person like, this is where my video is going.
Sarah:And if you're in a place you're like, no, thank you.
Sarah:Like, it gives them the option just to skip it.
Sarah:Right.
Sarah:And then it kind of does give a little bit of the accountability back to the viewer because, it's one thing if I just spring really disturbing content on patients or people or family and they just had no idea, like, that's just not okay.
Sarah:But when I'm saying like, Hey, I try to start it off soft, and they, I don't hit 'em hard with it.
Sarah:I'm like, this is a trigger warning of what this video is gonna be about or what I'm talking about.
Sarah:And it gives them time to just scroll past if they are not, if they're not up for that topic at all.
Sarah:And then I do try to go about the topic in a way that is, I really do try to avoid, fear mongering and saying really, really, really scary.
Sarah:terrifying, things.
Sarah:And mostly what I wanna do is I wanna like, I wanna come from it like in a calming.
Sarah:Personality, a calming space.
Sarah:I wanna talk about it in a way that is like sensitive, but then I also do wanna kind of give maybe solutions or options or things that it, I don't wanna just talk about it and be like, here's a really sad, scary thing that happened.
Sarah:See you later.
Sarah:I then I kind of wanna finish it off with something like, here are things we can do about it.
Sarah:Here are things that can make this a little bit, like, soften the blow of this thing.
Sarah:Here, here's things you can say to somebody that went through that experience.
Sarah:So.
Sarah:I wanna, I want the video to have a purpose.
Sarah:I want the topic to have a purpose.
Sarah:I don't want it just to be like, this awful thing can happen, so bye.
Sarah:That's not productive.
Sarah:So if they're going to like have the courage to watch a video that could be really hard to watch, then I want them to have a takeaway.
Sarah:And maybe the takeaway is empathy or compassion or a little heads up that sometimes things go sideways.
Sarah:Maybe your baby ends up in the nicu.
Sarah:That's another thing.
Sarah:Like so many people are like, I had no idea my baby was gonna end up in the nicu.
Sarah:It didn't even cross my mind.
Sarah:That is a conversation I probably need to be having more on my account of like, it's possible it will not, this is not gonna happen to everybody, but it's possible and here's how that might look.
Sarah:So that if it were to happen, maybe we've like softened the shock of it just a little bit.
Sarah:'cause we are like, Hey, somebody said this may happen.
Sarah:So I think, I think we need to give people credit for, you know, people are stronger than, than they realize and give them a little bit of credit for their strength.
Sarah:We deliver it in a sensitive, calming way and maybe give them like options and maybe not solutions, but like something productive with what we're saying.
Sarah:It helps 'em handle these situations better.
Sarah:We've given them a heads up.
Sarah:I think a lot of birth trauma is just like Some of it is just plain old shock that the thing happened and nobody prepped them for it.
Sarah:It shocked that somebody did a cervical exam and nobody even asked them like that.
Sarah:That's.
Sarah:Like, there's nothing shocking about a cervical exam in and of itself for a lot of people, but somebody just doing it and not talking to you about it.
Sarah:You know, the, the shock of that, the non-consent, like, I, so yeah, I think with these hard topics, the trigger warning and going about it in a sensitive way, trying to give something productive out of this video, the tangible that they can walk away with and maybe soften the shock or the blow if, god forbid, they have to walk that path.
Sarah:You know,
Lo:it's interesting.
Lo:I'm gonna.
Lo:There's a quote, and I'm gonna butcher it.
Lo:I believe it's by Rebecca Manning.
Lo:So this is not the actual quote, but essentially what this quote says is like, we can't withhold information because we're trying to protect you.
Lo:Like we need to trust you with information.
Lo:You're capable of making up your own mind.
Lo:And I, I love this quote, and again, that's not the actual quote, but I love this idea of there are different learners, particularly like on social media, in these really big spaces where you're reaching so many people.
Lo:And there's different learning styles and different things that are gonna serve everyone.
Lo:And so you can't like make it your goal to speak to everyone, right?
Lo:No one not, no one's gonna be liked by everyone or whatever anyways.
Lo:Like that's no one's goal as they move about this planet.
Lo:So this idea of presenting information with that idea of like, I wanna trust you with information so.
Lo:You can make up your own mind.
Lo:I think it's like almost such a respect issue of when we're presenting, you know, scarier topics or situations that might come up in birth and when we're willing to say, Hey, this might happen and we want you to have this information and not withhold it from you because you deserve to.
Lo:You have the right to, and you're capable of, you know, like taking this in and then figuring out how to utilize it.
Lo:I feel like when we withhold, it's almost a disrespect thing because then absolutely we are setting you up potentially.
Lo:To have some sort of trauma or something because it's like no one trusted me to tell me that.
Lo:Mm-hmm.
Lo:If my baby has a heart rate deceleration, this is what's gonna happen.
Lo:Like, I would've loved to know that then I would not have been so scared.
Lo:So, absolutely.
Lo:I think it's so, it really is more of a respect thing.
Lo:Yes.
Lo:Maybe not everyone wants to receive what you have to say at certain times and that's just gonna happen.
Lo:Mm-hmm.
Lo:And so you can do it tactfully like you, you were sharing like the way you actually do it, but to respect people enough to say, no, I'm actually sharing this.
Lo:For your good because I respect you and I wanna give you the best shot to walk away from your birth without trauma, with less trauma.
Lo:If that's where this is, you know where the spectrum is and, and let you have what you need to move through, whatever might happen.
Sarah:Absolutely.
Sarah:I completely agree.
Sarah:I feel like that's even, you know it when I started having kids and then like they get older and you're parenting and learning.
Sarah:Like what is my, what is like my goal, even with parenting, right?
Sarah:Something I've really learned is my, I wanna like, protect my children physically, right?
Sarah:I wanna keep them safe and protected in a very physical sense.
Sarah:But they can, they can learn hard or difficult or challenging or sad things.
Sarah:They're more resilient and I like, I respect them as the human beings.
Sarah:They are.
Sarah:I can help them through those hard feelings.
Sarah:I don't need to soften everything and.
Sarah:Again, like, again, they're very little, but I feel like that was something that, that carries even into my practice of like, I, I learned, like my kids, they wanna know the truth about things.
Sarah:If anybody follows me, they know that one of my absolute best friends died five months ago.
Sarah:Shockingly, and I am, I had one choice of like, I can retreat and cry in peace and they have no idea that anything is going on.
Sarah:Or I can talk to my husband and tear up and they can see that I'm sad and I can be honest and say, you know, I'm really sad because my friend died.
Sarah:It's, it's okay.
Sarah:I'm gonna be okay.
Sarah:Everything's okay.
Sarah:But like, this is a, this is a true thing that has happened.
Sarah:I trust them with that.
Sarah:And then if they feel uncomfortable, I can help them with those feelings.
Sarah:And I think if I'm doing that for my own children, then absolutely I'm gonna be doing this with grown adults who are going to go through a, like a potentially challenging experience.
Sarah:I'm trusting you with this information.
Sarah:I trust that we can help you through hard feelings and help you make the decisions that feel good for you.
Sarah:And so.
Sarah:Yeah, I think it's a respectful thing.
Sarah:Absolutely.
Sarah:And it's giving people credit for being the adults that they are, you know?
Lo:I think it ties into so many educators, you know, hopefully they land on this place of like, when you make a decision, like I want you to listen to your intuitions and trust yourself.
Lo:And so it's like if we, if a provider, an educator, doesn't trust you enough with information, how are you ever gonna trust yourself?
Lo:If it's like, well everyone's withholding things from me 'cause they don't think I can handle it or whatever.
Lo:Exactly.
Lo:I think it is.
Lo:So important to say no, like we do trust you.
Lo:And that's like building this little muscle in them as well.
Lo:Like, yes, I can present this to you and I absolutely trust you to take it in and figure out what you need, if you need something or what you need next, or questions and all of that.
Lo:So I like that analogy of the way.
Lo:Yeah.
Lo:The way we would maybe parent our kids through a hard thing.
Lo:Mm-hmm.
Lo:Like applying in here too.
Lo:Like there can be really hard things when you become a parent.
Lo:You have this baby,
Sarah:they can Yes, absolutely.
Sarah:Some like, I sometimes you like, you'll notice some.
Sarah:Then you, when you are a parent, you'll notice other people do try to protect kids from cha Like, you know, they'll, it is funny.
Sarah:You'll, you'll be like, it's time to go, or it's time.
Sarah:They'll try to be like, well, don't let them see me go, because it's gonna make them sad if we, if we leave, just we're gonna, I'm gonna sneak out before they notice.
Sarah:You know, I get, I get that that's coming from a good place, but I'm like, no, I think it's good for them to see you go.
Sarah:And it's good for them to learn how to say goodbye and have that sad feeling and then be resilient and like it, its effect like Nani and Poppy, that's why we call my parents.
Sarah:They're leaving and it will be sad and it's gonna be okay.
Sarah:And like we don't need to hide that and cover it up and sneak away.
Sarah:Like it, it's, they're gonna be okay.
Sarah:I can help them cry with that, you know?
Sarah:And I think I'm just.
Sarah:Yeah.
Sarah:If I'm doing that for my children, my infants, my toddler is like, absolutely.
Sarah:That should be done for grown adults with their actual bodies, you know?
Sarah:Yes.
Sarah:So
Lo:yes.
Sarah:Yeah.
Lo:Okay, so next time Sarah's on the podcast, we're gonna get all her parenting advice.
Lo:Guys, you're ready for that?
Sarah:No,
Lo:we're
Sarah:all feeling our way through the dark there.
Lo:That's like one of those like, no, no, no, I'm gonna stay in my lane.
Lo:Sometimes like people are like, I don't know, do you have like nutrition advice or whatever?
Lo:And I'm like.
Lo:I'm saying that way, know I'm not and we're not going.
Lo:I'm gonna tell you how to have your baby ask someone else about that.
Lo:No, I'm not a parenting expert or a sleep expert.
Lo:It's kind of funny because I think you probably know this, like birth postpartum, breastfeeding, you talk about all of it.
Lo:In theory, someone could be an expert really specifically about like just one if they chose that.
Lo:And so I think when you are a parent, then it's like.
Lo:Tell me what you did for your baby's sleep or tell me what you did.
Lo:You know when you introduced solids and it's like I can share those personally.
Lo:The police do not think that I am maybe as much of as an expert here.
Lo:Uhhuh, as I maybe would tell you I am.
Lo:I was just like
Sarah:you following a Dr. Becky and feeding littles and
Lo:totally just like
Sarah:you
Lo:totally
Sarah:tell me what to do.
Lo:You're like, here's the account that I followed.
Lo:You're welcome.
Lo:Yep,
Sarah:exactly.
Lo:And I was doing.
Lo:Okay.
Lo:Just for fun, you can answer these really quick.
Lo:Sure.
Lo:Although sometimes I think that's hard 'cause you wanna explain yourself when it comes to birth.
Lo:Kind of circling back to that, Seth, what's one thing that you wish that your patients would worry about less when they're in front of you?
Sarah:Oh, just the way, like physical appearance, shaving, toenail polish hair, acne, like what they wore, like anything like that.
Sarah:I do not care.
Sarah:Nobody cares.
Sarah:It's the last thing on my mind, especially like in shaving too.
Sarah:If like, if, even if we do need to do like an unexpected c-section, if, if that is, you know, where we need to like make an incision or place a dressing, like we will manage the, the whatever's there.
Sarah:So yeah, I just wish people, the last thing you need to worry about is if we're judging your body or your appearance.
Sarah:So, no, that's a, don't worry about it.
Lo:And it's also like, and this isn't to.
Lo:Say like, we don't care.
Lo:'cause we've seen so much.
Lo:But also like some nurses in front of you have seen 13,000 different bodies.
Lo:Oh.
Lo:Like they're not gonna remember.
Lo:And I mean that in a good way.
Lo:Absolutely.
Lo:Not that you don't matter, but that like, that's just not mm-hmm.
Lo:Important.
Lo:Like, it doesn't even really cross your mind because it's just not a part of what the work actually needs to be
Sarah:in that moment or whatever.
Sarah:Absolutely.
Sarah:When the door shut and I'm in the hallway, I don't even remember what you forgotten.
Sarah:Like it's, yeah.
Sarah:I couldn't tell.
Sarah:I like.
Sarah:It could be an elbow,
Lo:basically.
Lo:You're not,
Sarah:yeah, you're
Lo:not giving a report like, Hey, just so you know, your patient has really hair, legs, nail polish.
Lo:Just wanted let you know,
Sarah:heads up, nail polish is chipped.
Lo:Big
Sarah:problem.
Sarah:There's none of that.
Lo:That's probably a social media issue too, of like, some people do get to prepare and we have, and of course, planned procedures.
Lo:It's like, yeah, wow.
Lo:She looks great.
Lo:And it's like,
Sarah:yeah.
Lo:Probably didn't wake up at 3:00 AM in the middle of the, you know, like
Sarah:absolutely
Lo:not totally real, quote unquote real.
Lo:Yeah.
Lo:Okay.
Lo:What is one thing you do wish people would, would prepare for more or maybe be a little more ready for?
Sarah:I think, oh gosh, that's a hard one.
Sarah:I think like.
Sarah:If they were able, like in a beautiful, perfect world, if everybody was able to have like that supportive partner or team or somebody with them to help them advocate, I think that would be really, really good.
Sarah:If your support people were prepared and, and good at advocating, that would be lovely.
Sarah:But as far as preparing in general, gosh, I think like knowing your rights as a patient, getting comfortable, asking questions, getting comfortable with the questioning attitude.
Sarah:And like.
Sarah:I really do think that's a good place to start.
Sarah:Even like at your appointments, it's real easy for 'em to kinda like sweep in, check you out, sweep out.
Sarah:I think it's good for like, you like to get comfortable having people take a pause and have this conversation with you and be like, can you explain that again?
Sarah:Like I'm a little confused.
Sarah:What if I didn't do this?
Sarah:What if I do do this?
Sarah:Like that's a really good place to start because at the end of the day, like I, I mean I could go in and be like, I wish people were more prepared for postpartum or breastfeeding or inductions and stuff.
Sarah:But that's kind of like very niched scenarios.
Sarah:I think like the big takeaway is, you know, when we're, when I really want people to feel like they have full agency over their body and that, that they're making informed choices and it's a collaborative effort that really starts with getting comfortable.
Sarah:feeling like you're like level with your team.
Sarah:Again, they, they are professionals.
Sarah:You're trusting them.
Sarah:They have so much knowledge and information, but like, I don't want you to feel like because they have that knowledge and information, they're like a level of knowledge that you shouldn't even question.
Sarah:You shouldn't, you can't, you know, they're, they're, you're scared, you're intimidated.
Sarah:I think it's good feeling like you don't need to feel intimidated, like they really do want you to have a good outcome.
Sarah:So I think it's good to get comfortable, like forcing everybody to pause and talk and question and, and yeah, just be like, I, I just need to understand that a little better.
Sarah:What, what would be, what if I did wait?
Sarah:Or what if I did say no?
Sarah:What if I say yes?
Sarah:Like, what if I go in there, I want my epidural at two centimeters.
Sarah:Like, can we do that?
Sarah:I think these are good things to just not feel so uncomfortable.
Sarah:Just forcing people to talk, talk you through things.
Lo:Absolutely.
Lo:I think that, like you said, oh, we could get more specific or more niche or say, I wish someone was more ready, knew what the epidural was or whatever, but like, like advocacy, communication, like I'm in the driver's seat thing is really mm-hmm.
Lo:At the foundation of any of that, including breastfeeding or postpartum or whatever comes up like.
Lo:Postpartum, you're not prepared for how much you're gonna bleed.
Lo:Well, if you're a good communicator, then you're gonna call someone and make it check in and make sure it's okay.
Lo:Yes.
Lo:Or you're gonna ask your provider about it before, or you're gonna discharge from the hospital and say, Hey, actually you go through this with me.
Lo:I'm not sure about it.
Lo:Like that.
Lo:Ability to communicate, ask questions, and advocate really sits underneath.
Lo:Absolutely.
Lo:So.
Lo:Absolutely.
Lo:And I think it's, think it's, we like skip over it too, because it's like, okay, yeah.
Lo:I'll ask a question if I have a question, but practicing.
Lo:Mm-hmm.
Lo:Like you said, prenatally, like sitting at an appointment and being willing to say, actually wait, I'm not done yet.
Lo:Can I ask you X, Y, Z, and like.
Lo:Practicing that skill of, of having a need and having a question and, and yes.
Lo:And telling someone like, Nope, I need something from you.
Lo:Yes.
Lo:Because some of us aren't built that way, and so that even more we need to practice.
Sarah:Mm-hmm.
Lo:Asking for what we need and, and telling everyone, hang on a second, like.
Lo:I have something that I have to say and I need you to listen to me.
Lo:So Yeah,
Sarah:that's that's so true.
Sarah:'cause yeah, a lot of people, they don't wanna be a bother, they don't wanna, yeah, they do feel uncomfortable asking for things and like, they don't want you to feel offended, like they're questioning your authority and stuff, but.
Sarah:I truly believe this, like so many people that are doing birth work, like they really, they do want, they want you to feel comfortable with what we're doing too.
Sarah:Like there, yeah, there's, there's people or people everywhere.
Sarah:There's, there's some, you know, rotten apples in every bunch and every professional and everywhere, right?
Sarah:There're people.
Sarah:So like, you can get a cashier or a teacher or, or anybody who's, who's not the right fit for that job.
Sarah:So, of course this is bound to happen with birth work, but I'd say so many of them though, really do.
Sarah:They really do want you to like communicate your needs.
Sarah:And that can be, like we said earlier, like if you're in a bed and people are unknowingly like powering over you, it can feel intimidating and scary.
Sarah:You feel like a bother.
Sarah:And it's, that's a, again, a skill that needs to be developed and practiced so that whenever like a time does come and you're like, well, this does kind of feel like a critical moment and I don't wanna feel like I'm holding back.
Sarah:You feel comfortable, like you've built that relationship with your team and you've like built that comfort level with yourself like.
Sarah:It's okay to take pause and say like, I need this explained a little better.
Sarah:You know, or what are other options?
Sarah:So yeah, you're right.
Sarah:It's a great skill to to exercise.
Lo:That's perfect.
Lo:We're gonna end it right there.
Lo:There's your job, you guys practice communicating in all, all areas of your life.
Lo:And I mean, really, you said like that's how you prep for your medicated birth too, is really like mm-hmm.
Lo:Communicating and so
Sarah:yeah,
Lo:again, that just reaffirms it so much.
Lo:Starts, yeah, starts with that.
Lo:Okay.
Lo:Remind everyone where they can find you on the platforms.
Lo:I know you're on I think four.
Lo:All four of 'em.
Sarah:Yeah.
Sarah:The big four.
Lo:All
Sarah:of them.
Sarah:Yeah.
Sarah:Yep.
Sarah:The big four and it's just Labor Junkie rn.
Sarah:I, I mean there's probably underscores or something in there for some of them.
Sarah:I don't know.
Sarah:Just
Lo:you'll put
Sarah:it in the show notes that you, I hopefully I show up or a fake
Lo:page will show up.
Lo:You'll, I'm pretty sure if anyone types in the word junkie.
Lo:They find Sarah for in a bad, in good way.
Lo:I mean,
Sarah:I hope so.
Sarah:We'll
Lo:see.
Lo:Not in a bad way actually.
Lo:You're like,
Sarah:I mean, hopefully labor is attached to that, that
Lo:what I meant
Sarah:guys.
Sarah:Keep it clear.
Sarah:This is, doesn't do those things, by the way.
Lo:Okay.
Lo:Other question I love asking at the end is, one thing in your life, and this can be something really little or whatever, or big, that's just bringing you a ton of joy right now.
Sarah:Oh my gosh.
Sarah:Oh, this is so cheesy, but like, honestly, my family, like my kids, they're 2, 4, 6 and like, I feel like I'm just, my husband and I are saying to each other all day long, like, look, look, look, look, look what they're doing.
Sarah:Look what they're doing.
Sarah:Look what they said.
Sarah:And we're pulling the phone out and showing each other what they've done throughout the day.
Sarah:And like, it really does, like I've said, like becoming a parent, and I've been a nurse for 16 years.
Sarah:I've done some really wild stuff, but like.
Sarah:It is truly like the hardest thing I've ever done, but it is my favorite thing I've ever done.
Sarah:So like two things can be true.
Sarah:Like this is, this is harder than any of the craziest things I've ever done in a 17 hour, no break shift.
Sarah:Like a hard day as a mom truly is pretty hard.
Sarah:But it is like brings me so much joy that like I had three of 'em.
Sarah:So
Lo:no,
Sarah:like it really love.
Sarah:I really love it.
Lo:I think like you're getting to see three of them interplay together too.
Lo:Oh my gosh, that is so fun.
Lo:So for those of you have more or choose to have more or have a few, like it's so fun to watch the sibling stuff too.
Lo:Yeah.
Lo:It's like a whole other.
Lo:Part of having kids.
Lo:Yeah.
Lo:Is that dynamic too.
Lo:It's really, really fun.
Sarah:It's so fun.
Sarah:Or like my son, I think I put in my stories like he's four and he flooded our bathroom, because he was washing his cars and he forgot the faucet was on, and so Yeah.
Sarah:Hard, right?
Sarah:Hard stuff.
Sarah:But then it's also like he's.
Sarah:Telling every, everyone what's new.
Sarah:You know, if I call my mom and he hears her on speaker, he'll be like, tell her that I flooded the bathroom.
Sarah:He'll say the sink exploded.
Sarah:That's what he calls it.
Sarah:And like he just being so honest and truthful.
Sarah:And it was, and the way he describes it, like the sink exploded, which is not what happened.
Sarah:It just overflowed.
Sarah:It just, I don't know, it just brings me joy, like his like version of the world.
Sarah:Yeah.
Sarah:It's so cute.
Sarah:It's sweet.
Sarah:So
Lo:it's the best.
Lo:Well those are fun ages, so I'm sure it's only gonna continue to be so fun having that, that little two year gap between all of 'em.
Lo:It's really sweet.
Sarah:Yeah.
Lo:Thank you Sarah for this convo for your time and for what you're doing.
Lo:I know that sounds cheesy and, and we're both out there, but you do a really, really good job teaching families how to have babies.
Lo:So thanks for your
Sarah:work.
Sarah:Thank you so much.
Sarah:It's been such a, a joy.
Sarah:Thank you so much for inviting me to be on here.
Sarah:Truly.
Sarah:Of
Lo:course.
Lo:Talk to you soon.
Sarah:You too.
:Thank you so much for listening to the Lo and Behold podcast.
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