Are you struggling with your mental health? Are you ready to talk about it? It is never too late to be "Bold Enough" to take action.

Linda Beard has a discussion with guest Christena Hardy, who no longer suffers silently about her mental health. Instead, she has taken those "Bold Enough" actions to take back her life.

As a result, Christena has found that mental illness does not define her, it is an experience she goes through. She now has a different perspective and a joyful life.

Do you need encouragement or someone you know? Listen now!

Copyright 2024 Linda Beard

Linda: Welcome, everyone. Thanks for joining us. For bold enough. This is Linda, uh, Beard, author of the upcoming book Bold Enough, and your host. I am so excited today to talk about one of the chapters of my book called Bold Enough to Stand Up. Uh, wow. I won't tell you right at this moment all the details because you're going to have to get a copy of that book. But just know there comes a point in your life where you have to stand up for something, whatever that something is. You'll find that when you are out there waffling around and not being truly who you are authentically, that you kind of are like the wind. You blow this way and then blow that way. Depending on your surroundings and who you're with, and you respond to questions the way that you feel, everyone wants to hear the answer. So are you feeling okay today? I feel great. Do you believe in this? Do you believe in it? Oh, yeah. I believe in that too. Well, there comes a point in your life where you have to be bold enough to stand up for something, and it could be something that you have struggled with personally, and you've decided, I'm going to keep it a secret to myself because it's unquote not popular to talk about it. Well, today I am so excited to have a guest on our show. Her name is Christina Hardy, and she is out there on social media telling her story. And her story started with maybe perhaps not sharing how she was authentically feeling, but I can tell you today, she is bold enough to speak out, to stand up for mental health. And welcome, Christina. I am so happy to have you on our show. And there's so many listeners today that are going to be so engaged and listening to you standing up for Bold Enough for your mental health and what that truly means. So if you could, Christina, say hi to our listers and then just begin to tell us, what were you struggling with in this whole situation around mental health and how did you end up standing up for yourself?

Christena: Yeah, regarding the whole situation regarding mental health, like, uh, just being a mental health advocate was important to me. Um, at first I loved your intro. At first, I wasn't I'm going to be honest with you, um, I was not bold, uh, and authentic, and I did not want to share my story regarding how, um, I dealt with my mental health. I'll, um, start off with basically, uh, just my journey of being, like, ten years old and having, um, my first encounter of, uh, um, wanting to, um, kill myself. And I had suicide, uh, ideation. And for those who don't know what suicide ideation is, it's, um, the thoughts of wanting to take your own life, the thought of wanting, uh, to end your life, uh, and, uh, uh, via suicide um, at ten years old, there was a situation that happened, and I, um, remember, uh, just being doing a daily tour and washing, uh, the dishes. Um, the, uh, situation happened earlier on at school, and it made me really sad. I didn't know that I was depressed at the time. I didn't know what depression was at ten years old. I just know that I was overwhelmingly sad. And I remember as I was washing the dishes, got home from school and everything, it was my, uh, turn to wash the dishes. I remember, um, standing at the kitchen sink in my parents'house and just looking down at a knife and just, um, wanting to take that knife and split my wrist. And, uh, looking back on it as an adult now, it's like, even though that was a butter knife, still, um, the thought, when you think about it as a child, ten years old, wanting to harm yourself, to release that pain, it's something pretty powerful.

Linda: Um, was it an event, um, that caused you to I know you said an event happened at school, but was it an actual event that caused the depression, or did you find yourself in an ongoing, on a daily basis having this feeling of suicidal?

Christena: I'm sorry.

Linda: No, go ahead. I was just trying to give the listeners a gleam into what it was like daily as you got up every day. And was it an event that brought this out, or was it already there in the event escalated how you were already feeling?

Christena: Understood, Ms. Linda? Yeah, it was an event, uh, that, uh, happened because it wasn't something that was pre existing for me. Okay. That was the first time that I've ever experienced having, um, thoughts of suicide. Okay? That was the very first time that it ever happened. Um um so it was a situational event that happened at school and looking, um, back on, it just that, uh, first time in that experience, what ended up happening is I didn't do it. And my sisters and brothers came in. I was surrounded by people, so they came in from outside playing and everything like that. And I didn't share it with anybody and share it with my parents, didn't share it with my sisters and brothers. I just kind of just let that be a sleeping thought, if that makes sense. And I did not, um, take the butter knife and harm myself, but that was the first time that ever happened. But what I found out as my life as I grew older, that I had depressive, um, episodes in my 20s, in my in my 40s, too. Depressive episodes, actually, in my 40s. So it was something that I dealt with. But the first time I ever had suicide, um, ideation, was when I was ten years old. So there were, um, things in my life that triggered those depressive episodes.

Linda: Okay. I was just saying I have that understanding now. Because when I think about mental health and some of the stories that others have shared, it's been like a daily battle of fighting it where you're sharing with the listeners that yours is more episodic. So there's a couple of ways that mental health can take its course.

Christena: Absolutely. For me, yeah, it definitely i, um, have periods, um, of depression in, um, my twenties. I'll share with you that's when I was diagnosed with major depression. Okay. And that was after, um, when I got married. I got married, and five, um, months later, my, um, husband at the time told me he no longer wanted to be with me. So when that happened, that triggered a depressive episode where I just wanted to take my own life. I did not want to live and, um, just remember walking outside down a busy highway and just not just wanting a car to run, uh, over me. Thankfully, it did not. And then the next thing I knew, I ended up in a psychiatric, um, hospital. Uh, and that's when I was diagnosed with, um, major depression. So it was that pain and that hurt and that shock of ending, um, a marriage I thought it was going to be for a long term that actually triggered, um, my depressive, um, episode. And, um, since then, I've dealt with depression. That, um, was situational. And as I look back on it, I realized now, even in my 30s, when I had another depressive episode, two more when I was in my, um, realized that it was caused by.

Speaker UNK: Um.

Christena: Just, uh, relationships, if this makes sense. It's relational pain, you know what I mean? And it, um, doesn't have to be, like, romantical. Some people probably might think, oh, it's romantical. No, mine were, um, dealing with people in, uh, my life. If it's family, we have hurt and pain from family. If it's friends, if it's a coworker, if it's a mentor, or if it's church hurt. There have been instances that has happened in my life where, um, I've had depressive episodes. It wasn't just breaking up from a boyfriend. There's, um, been many times I've been able to bounce back and break up. Um, I'm good. Okay. I got that person out of my life. You know what I mean? Right. But there were times that, uh, if something happened with my family, if something happened with a family, um, member, where I was just really hurt by it, uh, that it would cause a depressive episode to come on. Um, yeah. I'm sorry.

Linda: So, Christina, did you find yourself when those episodic events happened? Did you ever discuss it or did you keep everything internal?

Christena: I love that question, Ms. Linda, because, um, uh, as an advocate, it is so important to be able to talk about it. And me, what I have done and what has been my Mo for years is internalizing things.

Linda: Um, okay.

Linda: So, Christina, share with our, um, listers. Why was it hard? Well, now, let me rephrase the question. In these episodic events. For you to become depressed. And you're sharing with us that you didn't really communicate at first in your journey.

Speaker UNK: Um.

Linda: And did you feel that you.

Speaker UNK: Um.

Linda: Were at fault at some degree. Perhaps. In these episodic events. That you took it to a level of internalizing.

Speaker UNK: Um.

Linda: It how.

Speaker UNK: Um.

Linda: Are you feeling about yourself personally in these events. I guess. Is the better question. So that these events triggered the mental health, um, discussion that you're having internally with yourself and what you should do.

Christena: Yeah, you know what? There are times I would say there have been times that, um, I have looked at myself and say, like, why have I not talked about it? What prevents me from being able to get, um, the help that I need? And a lot of times, it's me standing in my own way. You know what I mean? Because of the shame, because of the embarrassment, um, because of how people may look at me, how society may look at me and say, oh, she's depressed, uh, or she goes through a lot of depressive episodes. She has anxiety. Oh, wow, she tried to commit suicide. And suicide is very taboo to talk about. When people mention the word suicide, it's like, oh, I want to stray away from that, because it's very uncomfortable to talk about. It is, uh, there are times that I really did not want to talk about it, but I knew that was my calling. I knew God called me to be able, because of my experiences with depression, and suicide ideation that he's called me to be able to bring light to a dark topic. And as dark as it is, um, it has to be talked about, it has to be addressed. And because God has given me this platform to be able to do so, I want to be able to encourage people to say, it's okay. You know what I mean? If you have had a major, um, depressive, uh, episode, if you suffer with depression, if you have wanted to take your, um, own life, if you have been institutionalized in a psychiatric hospital, it's okay to talk about it. You know what I mean? It's all right. And I am transparent and authentic enough to be able to want to talk about it, to be able to educate people about mental illness, about depression, about suicide ideation, because of the stigma around, um, it. So there are times to answer your question. I'm sorry. Ms. Linda no, um, keep going.

Linda: Because at some point, you made a bold enough decision, uh, that I'm going to stand up and I'm going to speak about this, right? Because like you said, it's taboo, it's uncomfortable. People don't know how to respond, or they're thinking, oh, wow, stray away from that person using your own words. I want the listeners to know that when we stand up, when we take that bold enough action, whatever it is, to stand up, that that's when you become whole, right? You become more whole in the process. What was that determining factor when you said, Christina, that I'm not going to be that quiet person anymore. I'm not going to just be internal and having this conversation with myself because there are other people out there just like me that need to know that if they're struggling, it is okay. What was that turning point for you?

Christena: Wow. You know what? That turning point for me, and it happened in my 40s.

Linda: It's never too late. That's, um, why I want the listers to know that also. It's never too late.

Christena: Never too late. Ms. Linda. I totally agree. It's never too late. Deciding, um, factor for me is being able and I love what you said about being whole, being able to know who I was, being able to know who, um, God created me to be authentically, being me, being able to walk in my truth and knowing that, hey, even though I've suffered with depression, that's okay. I've suffered with it in the past, I'm going through it currently. If it's in my future, so be it. But it's okay. I can get through it. I've gotten through it. You know what I mean? Thank God I've gotten through it. So my determining factor was really being able to just see who God created me to be and knowing and having those intimate conversations with God and coaching as well. Dr. V you might have had her doctor, Veronica Walter, she was one of my coaches and let me tell you, she was phenomenal because she was the one that actually helped me to be able to know and discover who God created me to be authentically and walking in my truth and being able to realize this is part of my story too. Don't shy away from it. Don't hide it. Don't try to cover it up, because I spent 20 years doing that and not talking about it, but discovering in my guess what?

Linda: It's okay.

Christena: Christina if you have struggled with that, because that's going to be that bridge, or it's going to be that, uh, light that's going to help people walk in their truth as well. If they're suffering with any kind of mental illness, if it's schizophrenia, if it's like bulimia, uh, if it's like anorexia, uh, if it's like self harming, uh, self mutilation, whatever anxiety, whatever it is, borderline personality, if you are dealing with those things, it's okay to live. You can live a normal life. You could be able to be productive. You could be able to be able to tap in who God created you to be. You are not that mental illness. I'm not depression. Depression is not me.

Speaker UNK: Right.

Christena: I know who I am. You know what I mean? I know who God created me to be. I don't claim my depression. I don't say my depression. I just say I've been depressed. I've suffered with depression. Absolutely. I've suffered with suicide ideation. But guess what? It's okay.

Linda: Yeah, it's okay because that's not who you are. And I think that's an important thing for the listeners to know is that we all have something, but it's not who we are. It's something we have experienced. It's something that we may have to, from time to time, work our way through, but it's not who we are. We were created for a purpose, and sometimes our experiences bring out the creation of our purpose. And I think that's what I'm hearing you say today is that I know what my purpose is, and my purpose is to be an advocate for mental health and that it is okay if you do suffer. It is okay because it is not you. It's not who you are. Totally. It's something you have experienced.

Christena: Absolutely. It's just part of your journey, part of your testimony, part of your story, you know what I mean? But it doesn't define who you are. You know what I mean? Yes. That's something that I had to discover. And I'm thankful now. Um, I'm able to look back on it and be thankful. That okay. Even in my darkest moments, even in my darkest hours, even in my worst pain, god knew that it was going to be able to benefit not only myself, but to help other people. And then that's just my goal, to be able to help people know that they can live. They can definitely face tomorrow. They can definitely move forward. Even with having a mental illness. And that's okay to have that and to have that dialogue, those conversations that people are very skittish about having, like, I am one of the people among many thankfully, there's so many people like Taraji P. Henson, Kanye, um, west. I know that's a little, uh, controversial, but he did. Regarding his bipolar, um, issue, I mean, just so many, uh, different people, uh, that you can be able to live productive lives and also be able to just know that, hey, my purpose in this pain, in this darkest hour and all, you can be able to still have life and have life more abundantly. You could be able to still move forward and be able to yeah, just thrive.

Linda: And so, Christina, there's a couple of things that I want to just tie in and emphasize for the listeners, because it is something that really ties into my book as well. When I'm challenging people to be bold enough. And in this case, this is regarding the chapter being Bold Enough to Stand Up. Uh, and really, when we are our authentic selves, we want to be loved for our authentic self. So there's a freedom that when you, um, can talk about mental health and where you are on your journey and you're vulnerable to expose and say, this is who I am. This is what I've been through. But see me as the person, right? See me as the person with all of my experiences, and then you out there, whether you love me or not. I start with loving myself first, right? And knowing that I have a purpose, I have a platform. I was created to do this. And so the circle of people that come into your life are the people that were supposed to be there because they are loving you for all of you, all of your experiences in the past, the present, and in the future, that truly unconditional love that we can embrace and others can embrace from us. And isn't that the place authentically, where we all want to be is in a place where we can speak our truth, where we can stand on what we believe and just be us. So you, uh, being here today, Christina, has just blessed me and so many listeners out there that regardless of the pain that you've, um, experienced, that you walked through that truth and you came to the conclusion, this is my experiences, but it's not me. I have a place, I have a purpose, but I'm going to be bold enough to stand up and talk about mental health because it's uncomfortable for people, yes. But it is speaking truth, and it's bringing life to so many people that otherwise would shy away. And the outcome could have been so much different than your outcome. So God bless you, Christina. Thank you so much for fulfilling your purpose and being with me today on Bold Enough. Thank you. Thank you. And thank you to all the listeners, if you are needing help in mental health, please reach out to a resource. Can you also, Christina, share how, um, we can connect with you on social media as an encourager that people can reach out and find you out there as well?

Christena: Oh, definitely no. Thank you so much, Ms. Uh, Monday. People can find me, um, on Instagram, christina Hardy, um, and as well as Facebook, um, Christina Hardy and, um, looking forward to, um, being able to, uh, do a YouTube channel titled Encouragement for, um, tomorrow.

Linda: Uh, so that's thank you, Christina, for being with us. Continue to be bold enough. Have a good one. Thank you, listeners, for listening in today.

Christena: You too. Bye.