The holidays are a magical time, but let’s be real if you’re a new or expectant mama, they can also feel overwhelming. Between unsolicited advice, endless gatherings, and everyone wanting to hold your baby, it’s easy to feel stretched thin. In this Check-In Tuesday episode, Dr. Renee White offers practical, empowering advice on setting boundaries so you can enjoy the holidays on your own terms.

Renee shares insights and strategies to help you navigate family dynamics, protect your energy, and prioritise your and your baby’s well-being. You’ll leave this episode feeling confident, prepared, and ready to say "no" when needed—without guilt.

You’ll hear about:

• How to keep your baby close and avoid the "disco ball" effect at family gatherings.
• Graceful ways to handle unsolicited advice (with a touch of sass).
• The importance of scheduling rest and creating quiet spaces during busy celebrations.
• Why saying "no" isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.

Resources and Links:

Need help crafting a kind but firm message to set expectations with family before the big day? Download our free communication template at ifillyourcup.com/collections/freebies.

Learn more about Dr Renee White and Explore Fill Your Cup Doula Services

Want to be nurtured and nourished after the birth of your baby, have a peek at our doula offerings.

If you want to gobble up our famous Chocolate + Goji lactation cookies, look no further!

Got questions or feedback? Reach out anytime at hello@ifillyourcup.com, visit ifillyourcup.com or join us over on Instagram @fillyourcup_

Start redefining holiday traditions with kindness, confidence, and healthy boundaries!

Disclaimer: The information on this podcast presented by the Fill Your Cup is not a substitute for independent professional advice.

Nothing contained in this podcast is intended to be used as medical advice and it is not intended to be used to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease, nor should it be used for therapeutic purposes or as a substitute for your own health professional's advice.

[00:00:27] I'm Dr. Renee White, and this is The Science of Motherhood. Hello and welcome to episode 153 of the Science of Motherhood. I am your host, Dr. Renee White. Thank you so much for joining me today. Boy, oh boy, we are T minus, what is it? What's 17th, 18th, 19th, 20th, 21st, 22nd, 23rd, 24th, 25th. Was it eight days? Eight days until Christmas.

[00:01:17] It's a conversation that I think you could adapt to year long but it does crop up more and more often with our families around this time of year because people get together and mamas are tired and you know you just want to protect your baby's space and your space and your mental space all at the same time.

[00:02:13] We're going to navigate how you can feel confident and empowered with some decision making, and I have also popped in one of our freebies I have formulated, because I think that this is key, a communication that you can send out to your friends and family in advance, to kind of just set the tone. If you are interested in delving into that into downloading that head over to our website ifillyourcup.com and go to our freebie section, it will be there as a free download for you. It will also be in the show notes in in the podcast. So let's dive into today's check in Tuesday episode. Now, as I said, the holidays. They are a time for joy and togetherness, but let's be real, sometimes a whole lot of stress, especially if you are pregnant or you're looking after a newborn, you just had your bubby.

[00:03:50] You have the, absolute permission to prioritise your well being and your babies as well. So setting boundaries, I have to say, isn't selfish. Okay. It's essential for your health, for your baby's comfort, for your sanity. So in today's episode, I am going to walk you through how you can feel confident at these family events and empowered as well because there's nothing worse than feeling cornered and going, oh my god, I can't believe so and so just said that or I don't know what to say or do or whatever it is. So, first off the bat, the first thing that we always talk about with our families is keep your baby close. Now let's address the elephant in the room.

[00:05:21] And then thereafter, you know, in that kind of six to 12 week mark, they are going to be a little bit unsettled because they're like, Oh my goodness, I'm out in the real world and what does this look like? And my safe space is mum and dad or mum and mum or dad and dad. So here's how you're going to handle it. My number one piece of advice, get a baby carrier.

[00:07:00] Um, and guess what? That's okay. That's okay, guys. And so here's some tips of how you're going to handle it. So go to phrases to deflect opinions. Here we go, got your pen and paper. Thanks for sharing we've got it covered, I appreciate your concern. The other thing you could say is, that's interesting. I'll keep it in mind if we need it.

[00:08:13] Number three, create time for rest. This can be a very, very busy period. You know, holidays can be long and loud and exhausting, uh, gatherings, especially for a tired mama and bubby. So it's okay to take breaks or bow out early. Again, have a conversation with your partner. What does that look like? Do you need a safe word, you know, or, you know, Just kind of touch base with one another and check in and go, how are you going? You know, do you need to kind of have like some quiet time or something like that? So here's how to handle it. Scope out a quiet space when you arrive at the location where you can retreat, feeding or changing or just simply catching your breath, you know, taking a moment for yourself. Schedule rest into your day.

[00:09:55] Now, sometimes the best decision for your mental health and your baby's comfort is to skip the gathering altogether. All right. You don't owe anyone an explanation beyond what feels right for you. So here's how you're going to handle it. Be upfront, but be kind. We're focusing on rest this year, so we won't be able to join. Have a wonderful time. Or you might say something like, thanks for the invite, we're keeping things simple this holiday season, you know, we'd love to catch up soon. Alternatively, if you've RSVP'd and you need to cancel on the last minute, that's okay too, all right. Like, people understand you've got a new baby, Things are a little bit different.

[00:11:28] So if something doesn't feel right, whether it's a crowded room, or like an unwell relative, or like, you know, someone's lingering around you and kind of just won't take the hint, you have the right to move on and make adjustments. So, you know, you just maybe, you know, There's a few things that you could say to yourself and like affirm to yourself before you even get to the party, you know, my baby's needs come first, or I'm allowed to prioritise my comfort, or I don't need to justify my decisions to anyone.

[00:12:29] And number five, trust your intuition. Now, the holiday period is supposed to be full of love and joy and spending time with family, but you need to take care of yourself as well. Okay. So by setting these boundaries, you really create a foundation for more happy and meaningful gatherings. You know, for you and your baby and everyone else.

[00:13:30] Again, if you're looking for more tips on how to navigate motherhood, feel free to download our free quickie guide to postpartum preparation. It has got I think it's like 40, 50 pages of fantastic information around how to support yourself during the fourth trimester. We've got things on sleep, nutrition, recipes, having conversations with people, transitioning toddlers to becoming, you know, older brothers and sisters, and also download our free communication.

[00:14:36] I will see you later. Bye. If you loved this episode, please hit the subscribe button and leave a review. If you know someone out there who would also love to listen to this episode, please hit the share button so that you can benefit from it as well. You've just listened to another episode of the Science of Motherhood proudly presented by Fill Your Cup, Australia's first doula village, head to our website, ifillyourcup.com to learn more about our birth and postpartum doula offerings where every mother we pledge to be the steady hand that guides you back to yourself. Ensuring you feel nurtured, informed and empowered so you can fully embrace the joy of motherhood with confidence. Until next time, bye!