So many women quietly carry the weight of painful sex—and with it, the fear, shame, and disconnection that pain can bring. If sex feels uncomfortable, or even unbearable, it makes sense that desire feels far away.

In this episode of the Connected Pleasure Podcast, I explore how pain impacts intimacy and why it’s not your fault if you’ve struggled in this area. While pelvic floor physical therapists can support the physical side, my 1:1 coaching container creates space to gently unravel the fear, tension, and narratives that often fuel pain. Together, we work on rebuilding trust in your body, reshaping your relationship to pleasure, and opening the door to experiences that feel safe, connected, and nourishing.

✨ What you’ll hear in this episode:

• Why painful sex is more common than many realize
• How fear and anxiety create tension that blocks pleasure
• The relational impact pain can have on partners and intimacy
• Ways to begin reclaiming safety, softness, and possibility in your body
• How my 1:1 coaching container can support your healing journey

If painful sex has been part of your story, take a deep breath and know there is hope. You are not broken, and pleasure is possible for you.

💌 Sign up for my newsletter to receive your FREE Sacred Body Workbook: A Guide to Healing Body Image + Embracing Pleasure and stay connected for open cart week.

🌿 Book your FREE 45-minute consultation to explore if one of the six spots in my 1:1 coaching program is meant for you.

🌹 Share or repost on Instagram (@connectedpleasurecoaching) to receive $100 off your coaching package AND tell a friend to give them $100 when they book a coaching package + ANOTHER $100 for you!! (Thats $200+ off depending on how many friends you refer who also book a coaching package!) 

Welcome back to the Connected Pleasure podcast. I'm Kayla, your host. I go by she, her hers, pronouns.

And this is the last episode of my little mini series on whether or not this coaching container is for you. So this episode is going to be about pain. Is sex painful for you? And is that part of the reason why, why desire is not available to you?

Because there is an anticipation of pain. So there's actually a lot of reasons for pain.

And if you want more in depth understanding of that, go back and listen to my episode that I did with Dr. Angie Maxwell, who is a pelvic floor PT and I will actually be having another pelvic floor PT on towards the end of this month as well. But there are so many different reasons for why women could be experiencing pain during intercourse or even during any type of sexual pleasure.

Usually the most common reason for pain that I work with people on is kind of just this fear around sex and intimacy. And that fear creates a lot of tension in the muscles around the vagina and it ends up making it really hard to put anything in to the vagina.

So it could be anything to like as small as like a tampon or even a finger to it just being hard to have actual vaginal intercourse with someone. So though I don't specifically work with like the physical side of the pain, and that's why I would refer you to someone like Dr. Angie Maxwell.

We do work with kind of the mental side of it and the emotional side of it and how it can affect your relationship. I think there are a lot of relational factors that can, you know, come after pain.

There can be like your partner feeling really bad about causing you any pain and therefore could pull away or not know how to help in that situation. And then everyone might be feeling like guilt and shame.

Obviously you could feel like, I don't want sex and intimacy, I don't want pleasure, and like, why can everybody else figure this out when it's causing me a lot of pain? And so if that is the case for you, then we really want to give you a space, give you time to work through maybe what were some of those narratives?

What were some of the belief systems that created this anxiety around pleasure and sex and created this physical symptom of clenching the muscles around the vagina and then causing physical pain. So this is a great thing for us to work on in this container.

For you to feel like pleasure is something that you can attain again, that there is hope for you to have non painful sex because sex should not be painful. And for there to be pleasure again in your experience again in these situations.

I do think it's really helpful to bring in another provider like a pelvic floor PT to assess the actual like physical part of it. And so know that I have two really good pelvic floor pts that I recommend in the area around me.

And then if you aren't able to see people in this area that they are able and willing to provide you with referrals for outside of either Washington state or, you know, hopefully wherever you reside in the world.

So know that this is something that you can overcome and feel like you can gain a sense of again, safety in your body and feeling like my pleasure is my own and something that I can attain for myself. So if this is something that you're experiencing, take a deep breath and know that there is hope.

Know that there is somebody here to hold this container for you and to love on you for a little bit so that we can get you to feeling like you can have the pleasurable experiences and the sexual experiences that you want to have and that you deserve to have. So my asks of you, my final asks of you before we dive into our open cart week next week is to 1. Sign up for my newsletter.

So many valuable gems in there that would be really, really helpful to you and your journey. So sign up for that. With your joining of my newsletter.

You get your free Sacred Body workbook and this is a guide to healing body image and embracing pleasure. So there's so many really great practices in there that would be a great step for you on your healing journey.

While we are kind of in this pattern or while we were in this place of, you know, doing a free consultation, then booking your coaching package and getting those sessions scheduled. So that would be a great, like, interim thing for you to do in the meantime.

Also, if you want to go over into Instagram and repost any of the reels that I have posted in the last like week around this one on one container and tag me in it, I will give you a hundred dollars off of your coaching package.

So obviously you have to go through booking a 45 minute consultation with me and scheduling that coaching package with me or booking that coaching package with me. I haven't gotten the language around that down perfectly yet. So you would have to go through that process.

But you get a hundred dollars off if you repost this.

If somebody else comes to me and says, hey, this person referred me to you, they listened to your podcast, they told me to go listen to it and now I'm here And wanting to be in one of these six spots with you and go through and book it, they get a hundred dollars off and you get another a hundred dollars off. So the person that referred, if you go and repost something on social media, you get a hundred dollars off.

If you also refer someone to me and they also book with me, you get another hundred dollars off. So you could get two. You, well, you could get as many a hundred dollars off as people you refer to or refer to me that actually go ahead and book.

So it's a, I think it's a good deal for everyone involved. And then whoever you actually refer, they can also get a hundred dollars off. So let's really live into the spirit of community.

Let's live into the spirit of like creating these mycelial networks just like in the ground of all the fungi and the root systems, they're all co creating and making sure that they all have what they need. And so let's really live into the spirit of that and let, let the people that really need this container find me. Okay, so recap.

Sign up for newsletter get your free Sacred Body workbook. Repost something on Instagram, get a hundred dollars off.

Refer somebody to me, get another a hundred dollars off and they also get a hundred dollars off as well. If you are wanting to actually go forward and you know, schedule something with me, you're like this container is for me.

Then also go and book your free 45 minute consultation. I am just doing them next week. They are just during the open cart week. They're the seventh, eighth and the ninth. I have lots of spots still open.

So go book one of those spots so that we can do a 45 minute consultation. It's basically a fit call. It's you telling me a little bit about who you are, what's going on for you, why you want to do this container.

I get to tell you a little bit more about who I am and how I specifically can help you in that problem through this container, how this container can support you. And we can decide together if this is really the best fit for you. And if it is, then we can get you booked for a coaching package.

Okay, so next steps, I am going to do one or next things after that. I'm going to do one more episode this week.

Instead of having an interview episode, I thought I would do an episode all about the actual coaching container. Like what is in this container, what are the details of it. So stay tuned for that.

That will come out on Friday, so tomorrow it'll talk all about, you know, how long is the container, what's actually talked about in the container. I like go through all the nitty gritty details so that you understand that a little bit better.

If you go back into previous episodes, like early episodes in the Connect to Pleasure podcast, I've linked the one on one coaching sales page so you can go and read it. But I will be linking that in that episode. So stay tuned. Know that those details are definitely coming your way.

Then next week when the open cart period starts on the 6th, which is also a full moon. Did not plan that, but I'm super excited that it was falling on the full moon.

When that opens, then I will be sending out emails and I will be posting two episodes a day and they will be all about different questions that I think people will have before you even have them.

So you can always email me questions if you have them, but I'm hopefully going to go through any questions that I could possibly think that anyone can have.

So I'm going to be putting up two episodes a day starting on the 6th through the 12th and we'll be sending out corresponding emails with all of those.

So you want to be on my email list because you're going to get all the details that go with the podcast and any things that maybe I decide to only give to my email list. So please get subscribed for that.

So that is going to be open cart week and then I will be doing those for 45 minute consultations with anybody that really wants to book with me and we will be booking through those consultations. So that is a really important step. Do not forget to book your 45 minute consultation.

If for some reason you really can't make next week work, please let me know.

I am taking the week after open cart week off just because this has been a lot, a lot for me to do and I had already planned to take that off with my family. But if you really, really can't make this week work and you still really want to work with me, just let me know and we will figure something out.

Okay? So you can DM me on Instagram, you can email me at. It's kaylaonnectepleasurecoaching.

Com, so reach out to me, just let me know if that is something that is occurring.

I would really like everybody to try to schedule in this next week so that we can get those scheduled and booked because we have just about 8ish weeks between now and the end of the year giving a little bit of wiggle room for Thanksgiving and you know, people's schedules kind of going to be going all over the place for the holidays. So this container really is between now and the end of the year.

So we want to get that started and going so that you can end this year on a really great note and know that going into your holiday break that you have a new sense of pleasure in yourself and in your body. Okay? So those are all the things that are coming your way. Please stay tuned. Let me know if you have any questions.

And I look forward to speaking with you again tomorrow. Take care.