Shownotes
[+18] Finding out who you are can be daunting. Society makes us wear a mask to fit in, but are we truly ourselves?
Today’s story is the second and final part of “Unmasking Pride” by TiberiusRings and Fruitz who recently published their trio Simon King stories which can be purchased on Barnes and Noble.
Read by Kai, an orca adrift in the cosmos.
thevoice.dog | Apple podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts
If you have a story you think would be a good fit, you can check out the requirements, fill out the submission template and get in touch with us.
https://thevoice.dog/episode/18-unmasking-pride-by-tiberiusrings-and-fruitz-part-2-of-2
Transcripts
Today's story concerns adult subject matter for mature listeners.
Speaker:If that's not your cup of tea,
Speaker:or there are youngsters listening,
Speaker:please skip this one
Speaker:and come back for another story another time.
Speaker:You’re listening to Pride Month on The Voice of Dog.
Speaker:This is Rob MacWolf, your fellow traveler,
Speaker:and Today’s story is the second and final part of
Speaker:“Unmasking Pride” by TiberiusRings and Fruitz
Speaker:who recently published their trilogy of Simon King stories, available
Speaker:through Barnes and Noble.
Speaker:Coming out to others is hard, but not complicated in and of itself:
Speaker:it’s simply a matter of the courage to tell someone
Speaker:who you are. But before you can,
Speaker:you must first come out
Speaker:to oneself, which can be very complicated.
Speaker:If we have lived all our lives as a false persona performed for the benefit of others, then we may very well assume
Speaker:that person is our real self.
Speaker:If we have never been given the opportunity to be our real self,
Speaker:then how can we know who we are,
Speaker:much less tell anyone else?
Speaker:It is an ouroboros,
Speaker:with no place to begin the work of untangling
Speaker:until something breaks it.
Speaker:Last time, Dallas, trying to find himself,
Speaker:went to meet the mysterious Richter,
Speaker:only to discover that the man who had been making him feel complete
Speaker:would not speak with someone pretending to be something
Speaker:they’re not. Dallas,
Speaker:upset, confused, and hurt,
Speaker:reaches out to the one person he knows
Speaker:who may understand.
Speaker:Read by Kai, an orca adrift in the cosmos.
Speaker:Please enjoy “Unmasking Pride”
Speaker:by TiberiusRings and Fruitz, Part 2 of 2 After a day of being hungover and crying more, I realized I couldn’t just sit here.
Speaker:There was still no message from Richter.
Speaker:His profile was active but there wasn’t really any indication he had blocked me or anything.
Speaker:Was he giving me space?
Speaker:He probably thought I didn’t want to see him.
Speaker:I was still angry at him.
Speaker:But everything felt off.
Speaker:Everything felt wrong.
Speaker:I could barely focus in classes, and in practice my mind wandered so much that I was missing plays that I should have been able to do in my sleep.
Speaker:Gerrard even cornered me after practice and asked what was wrong.
Speaker:“Nothing,” I answered.
Speaker:“Just got a lot on my mind is all.”
Speaker:“Well, put it in the locker!
Speaker:We have a game soon and we need you focused, Dal. C’mon!”
Speaker:He was rightfully angry at me.
Speaker:I let the team down. I had done poorly and the coach had even pulled me aside to give me a tongue lashing and to make sure I was okay.
Speaker:I lied and said I was fine.
Speaker:I knew what I was missing in my days, and that was the messages from Richter.
Speaker:I usually got them all the time, or had them waiting after practice, but now…nothing.
Speaker:Quiet. Empty.
Speaker:Lonely. I guess he didn’t want to talk to me when I was “wearing a mask,” or whatever bullshit he thought was going
Speaker:on. I appreciate that he thought I was complicated like that, but I really wasn’t.
Speaker:I knew I had to talk to someone and I couldn’t exactly talk to Gerrard.
Speaker:As good and loyal a friend as he was, he was definitely not someone who got in touch with others feelings,
Speaker:let alone his own.
Speaker:I knew who I had to talk to and steeled myself for it.
Speaker:“McMinn?” I asked after practice one day.
Speaker:The athletic wolf was pulling on his shirt and looked at me.
Speaker:He blinked and then inclined his head.
Speaker:“Dal. What’s up?” “Not much,”
Speaker:I cleared my throat and shuffled my feet a little.
Speaker:“Hey. Do you want to…Iunno,
Speaker:get a bite or coffee?
Speaker:I could use some advice.
Speaker:advice.” “Advice?” The wolf blinked slowly at me and tilted his head…then
Speaker:it seemed to dawn on him.
Speaker:His ears flattened. “I take it you want to talk about…it.
Speaker:about…it.” “Yes. No. Yes! I mean…not
Speaker:directly. Please. I really need to talk to someone.”
Speaker:I sounded desperate.
Speaker:I hope I didn’t sound pathetic.
Speaker:McMinn frowned and then nodded,
Speaker:yanking his bag out of his locker.
Speaker:“Fine, but call me Kody.
Speaker:I hate my last name.”
Speaker:“Deal. Do you know a quiet place where we can talk?”
Speaker:Kody let me through campus to a library.
Speaker:On the first floor was a small cafe where we both got something warm and then went outside and up some stone stairs,
Speaker:wrapping around the building to a small terrace with tables and umbrellas.
Speaker:It had a nice view of some grass and trees but also seemed deserted.
Speaker:Kody sat down and grinned.
Speaker:“This is where I come to study if I need to get out of the dorm.
Speaker:dorm.” “I’ve never been here,”
Speaker:I said and sat down across from him, putting
Speaker:my bag in front of me on the table.
Speaker:“It’s off the beaten path but it’s nice,”
Speaker:Kody said as he sipped his coffee.
Speaker:“So what’s on your mind?”
Speaker:I couldn’t blame Kody for looking anxious. He had probably been interrogated by a few guys since he had come out as gay.
Speaker:“I just…well…you won’t talk to anyone about this?”
Speaker:“Not my story to tell, Dal.
Speaker:I promise.” Taking a deep
Speaker:breath, I asked, “I was wondering…
Speaker:Why did you come out?
Speaker:You could’ve just…you know, existed, and not ruffled anyone's feathers.
Speaker:What made you decide to do something like that?”
Speaker:Kody smiled and took another muzzle full of his coffee before settling it down in front of him.
Speaker:“You ever like something when you were a kid that your friends would probably tease you for?
Speaker:Like Spectral Rangers?”
Speaker:I had loved the show as a cub.
Speaker:I nodded. “How’d it make you feel when you were excited to enjoy something but couldn’t share it with people you liked?”
Speaker:“I’d be feeling like I was doing something wrong.
Speaker:Like I was telling a lie or a fib and just…not
Speaker:being honest.”
Speaker:“Same concept, Dal.”
Speaker:Kody leaned back and looked out to the gardens below us.
Speaker:“I could’ve absolutely stayed closeted.
Speaker:Would’ve been easy for everyone else.
Speaker:No one to worry about, no one would have questions for me…but
Speaker:I would be the one suffering for it.
Speaker:I would have to pretend to be someone I’m not.
Speaker:Make up excuses about girls and dates, flirt with them when they came around.
Speaker:I tried having sex once with a girl, and it just didn’t feel right.
Speaker:Not the same way as with a guy.” My ears turned pink at Kody being so open about talking about sex with a man.
Speaker:Yet I was in awe of his honesty and listened further.
Speaker:“I didn’t want to hide anymore.
Speaker:I didn’t want to be something I’m not for other people who wouldn’t care about me if the truth came
Speaker:out. I figured that it would be hard at first, but anyone worth their salt would still be my friends in the long run.
Speaker:Some guys have trouble talking to me,
Speaker:but most are getting used to it.
Speaker:Stevens even tried to hook me up with his roommate.”
Speaker:Kody laughed. “So you see?
Speaker:People are trying, and that’s what matters.”
Speaker:“So you wanted to stop, you know,
Speaker:wearing a mask for other people.”
Speaker:“Right,” Kody nodded.
Speaker:“That’s actually a really clever way to describe it.
Speaker:I figure that anyone I met while hiding who I am wouldn’t really know me.
Speaker:I didn’t like that idea because it meant any friendship was tainted.
Speaker:So I accepted myself and decided to love myself.
Speaker:I mean, how can I love someone else if I can’t start with me?
Speaker:How can I expect anyone to love me back if I’m not happy with who I am?”
Speaker:“But…was it hard?” Kody was starting to put the pieces together.
Speaker:The wolf was smart, and his eyes were flicking across my face,
Speaker:trying to make sense of what I was talking about.
Speaker:“Dal…are you…?” I felt tears roll down my cheeks. I stared at Kody with a deep longing for help and understanding.
Speaker:I couldn’t finish the sentence but I nodded my head.
Speaker:I put my face forward and covered it with my hand.
Speaker:“I’m so scared, Kody.
Speaker:I don’t know what to make of it.
Speaker:I don’t know anything about this stuff.
Speaker:But…I feel so much more comfortable when I’m talking to a guy.
Speaker:Everything just feels right.”
Speaker:Kody frowned and watched me.
Speaker:He let me cry. Eventually he came over and sat down next to me and put an arm around my shoulder.
Speaker:I flinched away from him but he pulled me closer.
Speaker:I was bigger than him, but he just held me in a tight hug.
Speaker:My face was buried in his shoulder as I sobbed,
Speaker:using his body to muffle my cries.
Speaker:I could breathe in his scent.
Speaker:Warm and woodsy, with the faint scent of chlorine from the pool we had come from.
Speaker:He was strong and held me,
Speaker:making sure I stayed put as I let out my feelings.
Speaker:No one heard me. No one came to disturb us.
Speaker:But it was the first time I had let another man see me cry since I had been a tiny cub.
Speaker:I don’t remember how long we stayed that way.
Speaker:I just remember that I felt this huge weight lifted off my shoulders.
Speaker:My secret, whatever it was, was out.
Speaker:I didn’t have to keep it bottled in anymore,
Speaker:and when I realized that I suddenly felt relieved and exhausted.
Speaker:But I lifted my head and looked at Kody who had nothing but concern on his face.
Speaker:“Daaaal,” he said softly.
Speaker:“You poor guy. Has this been what’s bothering you?”
Speaker:I nodded, wiping my nose and trying to fix my hat that had come lopsided.
Speaker:“Do you know if you’re gay?
Speaker:Like for sure?”
Speaker:“I don’t know…I mean,
Speaker:I’ve never done it with another guy.
Speaker:But I’ve been talking to this guy on an app and he’s made me feel things I’d never felt before.
Speaker:I actually looked up porn and was looking at the guy more…I think I always had…”
Speaker:“But you’re scared about it all,
Speaker:right?” I nodded. “It…it’s kinda strange.
Speaker:People are gonna say things.”
Speaker:Kody hugged me tighter and sighed.
Speaker:“I can’t say that it’ll be easy, Dal. But I know this for certain:
Speaker:if you aren’t true to who you are, what are you to everyone else?
Speaker:It’s your life, your wishes and dreams, and you are an awesome guy.
Speaker:Celebrate it. Have pride in yourself.
Speaker:Take that mask off and face whatever comes forward.
Speaker:In the end, good or bad, you’ll have faced it as Dallas.”
Speaker:I had finally collected myself when I heard those kind, warm words.
Speaker:My jaw quivered and I held back tears that started to form on my eyes, holding onto Kody as tight as I could.
Speaker:I was shaking. No one in my life had ever told me such wonderful things.
Speaker:No one had told me to just be me,
Speaker:and that it was okay to not be the perfect athlete everyone wanted me to be.
Speaker:“You doing okay?” the wolf rubbed my back and brushed his fingers through the fur on my neck.
Speaker:It wasn’t intimate but
Speaker:comforting. He reached up and played with one of my rounded ears, letting it flutter between his fingertips.
Speaker:“That tickles,” I said as I sniffled and wiped my eyes and nose with my hand. I was trying to put myself back together, but Kody kept playing with my ear,
Speaker:making it flinch, drawing a laugh from me. Kody was smiling at me and let out a slow exhale.
Speaker:“Most guys I know who are gay, or bi, or whatever else they are…they
Speaker:tend to know when they’re young. Did you have any experience that made you question yourself?”
Speaker:I chuckled a little bit and looked up at the darkening sky.
Speaker:I glanced at Kody.
Speaker:“Why do you think I joined the water polo team?”
Speaker:I had never admitted that to anyone, not even myself.
Speaker:But it was true, looking back. All those sneaked looks, those thoughts, looking up porn of species that resembled my teammates and watching the guy more than the girl…all
Speaker:the signs were there, but I was too afraid to confront them.
Speaker:“If you’re feeling up to it,
Speaker:you want to go see a movie?”
Speaker:Kody was grinning,
Speaker:a small glint of hopefulness in his eyes.
Speaker:“My treat.” “Yeah…that
Speaker:sounds good, actually.”
Speaker:“Great! I know this perfect place,
Speaker:I hope you don’t mind historical horror…you
Speaker:ever hear about the demon Spring Heeled Jack?” ---
Speaker:Two Weeks Later. I needed to catch my breath.
Speaker:I was hot, sweaty, and feeling like all my limbs were rubbery.
Speaker:I could feel my body angry at me for pushing it as hard as I had,
Speaker:the strain I had endured, but it was all for the right reasons.
Speaker:Usually those moments happened in games or training.
Speaker:Not this time.
Speaker:I flopped down next to the wolf on the small, dorm room bed.
Speaker:He was naked, and handsome.
Speaker:His compact and swift muscles were on full display.
Speaker:Faint beads of sweat clung to the ends of his fur here and there,
Speaker:with a crystalline pool of liquid formed on his stomach and around his navel.
Speaker:He was panting, turning his head and looked at me with a tired but happy grin.
Speaker:“Wow,” I said, panting myself and pushing close to him. I didn’t care that I was sticky, or that my erection was going down after a release.
Speaker:I buried my nose into his neck and kissed him there, then up to his lips.
Speaker:Kissing a guy felt odd,
Speaker:but so, so right. I could feel the strength behind his kisses and it always managed to turn me on.
Speaker:Hell, my cock twitched just from that!
Speaker:“That was your first time with a guy?
Speaker:Was it your first time ever?”
Speaker:my bedmate asked me.
Speaker:I nodded, curling an arm around him and pushing close,
Speaker:working a leg between his own and half laying on him.
Speaker:“Yeah, I always found ways to back out of it at parties and stuff.
Speaker:With girls, I mean.”
Speaker:“Nothing to apologize for, Dally.” Kody teased and leaned his head over to my ear, nipping it playfully.
Speaker:“You’re a natural.”
Speaker:“Flatterer,” I smiled, nosing his cheek and smirking.
Speaker:“But it always works on me.”
Speaker:I shifted my knee a bit and felt the warm liquid on Kody’s belly slowly drying.
Speaker:I looked down at it briefly before looking back at the wolf who had become so important to me these last few weeks.
Speaker:“I never expected sex to be this…wet.
Speaker:this…wet.” “And sticky,” Kody added.
Speaker:“Doesn’t look like that in porn, does it?”
Speaker:“I want to sleep for a few hours after that,
Speaker:but I also want to try it again.
Speaker:again.” Kody laughed at me and kissed me, gently, on the lips.
Speaker:He sat up and when he stood he almost fell over. He caught
Speaker:himself and chuckled, bashfully.
Speaker:“My legs always get a little wobbly after that.
Speaker:that.” “You gonna be able to walk okay?”
Speaker:I grinned, my smile saying it all.
Speaker:I was a proud, post-virgin man.
Speaker:I was rewarded with a tug to my tail and a playful slap to my ass.
Speaker:“If you want to make me walk funny, we’re going to have to work on your technique.”
Speaker:Kody winked. “Just means lots and lots of practice.”
Speaker:“I’m okay with this training regimen,
Speaker:Coach.” Kody laughed and looked at the bathroom. “Let me get cleaned up first and then join me in the shower.
Speaker:We’re going to that PRIDE rally tonight.
Speaker:You still okay going?”
Speaker:I thought for a moment.
Speaker:“Honestly? I’m a little nervous,
Speaker:but…yeah, I’m okay.
Speaker:I want to really see what it’s like…and
Speaker:I’m tired of wearing that stupid mask.
Speaker:Oh, and I told Gerrard, by the way.”
Speaker:“You did?” Kody’s voice came from inside the bathroom.
Speaker:“How’d he take it?” “He was shocked at first,
Speaker:but he told me if I didn’t hit on him we’re still friends.
Speaker:I told him he was ugly as sin and he punched me in the shoulder.”
Speaker:I grinned. “We’re cool.”
Speaker:“Good! Just relax. Don’t fall asleep, Dally.”
Speaker:“No promises!” I heard the bathroom door close and reached over to my phone,
Speaker:looking down at the screen and flipping over to Pride-Linx. There was still no message from Richter.
Speaker:Part of me was starting to wonder if he was even real at this point and I had simply conjured him up as a gay fever dream.
Speaker:Still, I had some things to say to him.
Speaker:Hey Richter, I don’t blame you for being quiet since that night.
Speaker:I kind of exploded out of your room.
Speaker:Your words hurt me but they also made me think.
Speaker:You were right,
Speaker:you know. I was wearing a mask.
Speaker:I thought you wanted to see the water polo athlete and nothing else.
Speaker:I figured that’s what everyone liked, so I came as that.
Speaker:I went through our old messages and saw we barely talked about the sport,
Speaker:so I blew that one,
Speaker:big time. But for all that
Speaker:I just wanted you to know that I took my mask off.
Speaker:I’m not afraid of being gay.
Speaker:I mean, I’m a little worried about what people might think, or if I could be the target of a crime or something like that.
Speaker:But I’ve told my friends and I talked to that wolf I mentioned,
Speaker:the one on our team who came out as gay.
Speaker:Turns out we’re going out now.
Speaker:He’s been leading me through a lot of this gay stuff.
Speaker:And although I doubt I’ll wear leather down a parade any time soon,
Speaker:I’m not afraid of who I am anymore.
Speaker:I can’t say I have all the answers,
Speaker:but I feel like I’m on the right path.
Speaker:I’m sorry for how I acted.
Speaker:If you’re ever in the area again,
Speaker:let’s have dinner at this pub I know.
Speaker:They have this amazing beer!
Speaker:Anyway, I just wanted to say that.
Speaker:I hope you’re well. Dal. I had checked my email when I heard a familiar ping.
Speaker:A message on Pride-Linx.
Speaker:I opened the app and saw Richter had responded.
Speaker:Dal, I never meant for that night to be a lesson for you but it sounds like it worked out well.
Speaker:I think we were both going to make a mistake;
Speaker:you were not ready and I would’ve been taking advantage of that.
Speaker:I didn’t want to be a mark on someone’s first gay experience.
Speaker:It’s a shame, too, since you’re awfully cute.
Speaker:Anyway, yeah, let's have dinner.
Speaker:Just make sure to bring your wolf.
Speaker:The things I could do with two college athletes. :)
Speaker:Richter. I snorted and laughed just in time to see Kody’s head pop out.
Speaker:He blinked. “What’s so funny?”
Speaker:“Just silly things on the internet.
Speaker:Ready for the shower?”
Speaker:“Water’s perfect,
Speaker:Dally. C’mon.” This was the second and final part of “Unmasking Pride” by TiberiusRings and Fruitz,
Speaker:read for you by Read by Kai,
Speaker:an orca adrift in the cosmos.
Speaker:As always, you can find more stories on the web at thevoice.dog,
Speaker:or find the show wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker:Happy Pride, and Thank you for listening
Speaker:to The Voice of Dog.