Am I back yet? Nearly. I am sleeping again and I am not falling asleep every two hours.
A second short update. I am doing much better. The thing about the human condition is that it does not come and go. Thoughts arise, illness arises, the body breaks down and improves and breaks down again. That is not a failure of practice, that is just being a person. The balance between what was going on outside and what was going on inside was not there for me, and when that goes, I end up letting myself down and letting other people down too. Back recording properly next week.
One thing to try: When you are rebuilding, do not rush back and pile the pressure straight back on.
In this episode
(0:43) Sleeping again, and not falling asleep every two hours
(1:18) The human condition does not come and go
(1:56) The emails and messages that kept me going
(2:37) The prize is the balance inside
(3:18) It was quite bad for a while
(3:57) What I have been putting on YouTube instead
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Thank you for listening.
Steven
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I just wanted to give you another quick update because I did an update a few weeks ago and I realized that I haven't done anything since.
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And first of all, I'm doing so much better.
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I'm not quite ready to come back and pile everything back on and put all the pressure on yet.
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I know life gives us pressure anyway, but sometimes we're not ready for that pressure.
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And I realize from the past my pattern of being overwhelmed over promising and doing too much, and then my body just says, no, I'm done with that and gives up on me.
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And the last couple of weeks, I've been really quite poorly.
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And this past few days, I'm so much better, feel better, I've got energy.
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I'm not falling asleep every two hours.
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I'm sleeping again at night.
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I'm back to meditating a couple of times a day, which for some reason I really stopped doing because I was getting overwhelmed.
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I was thinking that I couldn't do it.
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So I got back to taking a step back, practicing what I invite you to do, and really just nailing down on those things that really do help us.
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Because this human condition doesn't come and go.
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We're human.
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Thoughts come, thoughts arise and illness arises.
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The body breaks down, the body improves and then breaks down and overwhelm happens.
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Life happens, and it's how we deal with these things on a daily basis.
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And being paralyzed does make it a little more difficult at times.
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So I just want to say thank you to anybody that's bought me a coffee, left a review that still listens to my inner peace meditations on the other podcast or on this one.
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Listen to my podcast and the messages I get.
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You guys are absolutely amazing.
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Thank you to you.
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I've had some wonderful emails and wonderful messages.
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You keep me going in so many ways and.
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But I'm deliberately not rushing back and piling on all that pressure onto me.
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Yes, I have the tools to deal with the most darkest times, but, you know, I can deal with the stuff in my head I can plow through, but there's no prizes for that.
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There's no prizes for being the strongest victim in the yard, if you know what I mean.
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The prize is for just ourselves inside, when we find that balance between what's going on outside and what's going on inside.
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And the balance wasn't there for me.
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And in return, I was letting myself down and letting other people down and piling on the pressure.
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But I ended up quite poorly to the point where I Spent almost a week barely eating and just really poorly and my body was catching every infection that I could imagine.
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You know, infections were watching me go by and go, oh, we can have him, he's looking weak at the moment.
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It was, it was quite bad for a time.
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But anyway, I'm here, I'm doing well and next week I'll be back recording.
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I've done a couple of little videos on my YouTube with no pressure, a couple of meditations and I've just, I sold a couple of items I had and I've just bought some meta glasses and I'm gonna go live and do some videos with them and it's gonna be quite interesting.
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So I've just done a video about me unboxing them over on my YouTube channel if you wanna sneak preview of that.
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I don't know if you want to do it or not.
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Slightly different.
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I just share stuff on my YouTube channel that just makes my life a little bit easier.
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Things that.
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Whether it's an inanimate objects or different things.
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But yeah, I'm just, I'm just having a little fun at the moment.
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Just no pressure on myself and I was putting the pressure on too much and therefore I'm not helpful to anybody at that point.
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So look, thank you to.
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If you're still listening to this podcast three or four minutes in, you must be one of my die hard friends because just deeply grateful to you and I love you and take care and I will see you next week.
