This week's episode dives into the complexities of parenting styles, particularly focusing on the phenomenon of helicopter parenting. The hosts share their personal experiences and insights, revealing how their approaches to parenting differ significantly. Scott humorously defends his non-helicopter parenting stance, while Chris and others weigh in on their own tendencies to hover over their children. The conversation takes a lighthearted turn as they explore the absurdities of parenting, including amusing anecdotes about ice cream trucks and taco outings. With plenty of laughs and candid discussions, the episode highlights the importance of finding a balance in parenting while maintaining a sense of humor about the challenges it brings.

Links referenced in this episode:

• nonewfriendspodcast.com
• www.sandpipervacations.com

Companies mentioned in this episode:

• Disney
• Sandpiper Vacations
• Chick Fil A
• Dunkin Donuts
• Krispy Kreme
• Voodoo donuts

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We are recording live right now on the YouTube for everybody to see.

Every Monday night at 8pm is Eastern Standard time.

My name is Scott.

I'm with me as always, my talented cast of characters.

The scumbag reselling hoarder himself.

Chris.

You're the loser.

You're the sucker.

Our Jewish American princess, Sarah.

Hello.

Our emotional support, gay Nick.

It's a me.

I'm a gay.

The Wiseman Darren.com.

Howdy.

And our producer, Alex.

If not now, when?

So what is going on, guys?

How's everybody's week?

Mine is fantastic.

I sense some sarcasm there.

Lot of sarcasm.

A lot of sarcasm.

I mean, it's.

It's only Monday.

So the week's starting out good, I guess.

Well, I guess.

How was everything since the last time we all spoke?

Not great.

Not great.

You know, it's.

It's the morning after the election.

This is how smart my 12 year old is.

She goes, I cannot believe we elected a Thanksgiving turkey as president.

I would have voted for that.

Right, Right.

Let's make America tasty again.

All right.

So, yeah, it was, you know, not the greatest of weeks, depending on where you sit.

But you know, we.

We move on.

We're not a political show, nor do I want to alienate 57% of the audience.

So we, we move along.

So just keep swimming.

Just keep swimming.

For sure, Nick.

So anyway, last week we kind of teased about something and I wanted to kind of dial into everybody's parenting style a little bit.

And we've got Darren here who's, you know, my, my son, so we can get some insight firsthand.

But I wanted to talk about helicopter parenting.

So I know without a shadow of a doubt that at least one of us on this podcast is a helicopter parent.

Chris.

A thousand percent is a helicopter parent, Nick.

Wow.

I mean, I thought you were going to talk about the video.

Did my video surface of me doing helicopter?

The one when I was doing the helicopters on a Carnival Cruise Ship balcony?

Is that what we're talking about?

No, not quite.

Not quite.

That's.

That's a helicopter, Daddy.

I, I don't know what you're talking about.

So I don't, I don't know what this means.

Is this.

They hover.

They hover over the kid.

The not letting the kid really explore the boundaries on their own.

That just very protective.

Have the bubble wrap everywhere.

Oh yeah, Chris definitely is.

Yeah.

Sarah, what do you think?

Is Chris a helicopter parent?

I think that any parent to a child under the age of.

How old is she?

Five months?

Six months.

Six months, yeah.

So, I mean, I would think that any parent would be a helicopter parent at that age, but I think it's.

Going to continue through high school.

Okay, Chris, let me elaborate, please.

I am a helicopter parent.

If, if the helicopter is the one that Kobe Bryant rode on.

Oh, I am probably the snap.

I am the.

I am the least helicoptery parent ever.

And you know what's funny is before the baby, we kind of, me and Emily had this discussion.

It's like, who is going to be the one that's going to be anxious all the time?

And this and that.

It's Emily.

Emily is the Apache helicopter Bear.

Not even helicopter.

She's like, she's like Marine One, like carrying the president helicopter.

Like for instance, actually this just happened tonight, which is really funny.

So we were at her parents house for dinner and Ellie was getting tired.

So Emily's mom was like, hey, you want me to just lay down with her in the bedroom, see if she'll go to sleep?

Yeah, sure.

So she just takes her in there.

And then Emily's mom walks out and she goes, oh yeah, she's, she's asleep on the bed.

You know, I got pillows on both sides.

She can't roll.

And Emily was in there watching her to.

Just to make sure that she wasn't going to fall like roll over the pillow.

Onto the floor or that she was continuing to breathe.

I think she was counting her breaths like our nanot usually does.

Me, I just.

I was like, I was just eating some steak dinner, enjoying myself, drinking over.

Top of her, probably with like, the.

Sausage, like.

Daughter refers to ribeye today.

No, I.

It almost.

I almost questioned my parenting.

I also, I actually, I almost questioned me being a parent at all when I just.

The amount that I just don't care about stuff that I shouldn't care about.

And I think it's.

For so long I've been.

I haven't been on anxiety medicine, and I'm so used to overthinking and caring about things that I shouldn't.

That when the baby came into our lives, like, it was a surprise.

Like, when we had the baby, I.

It's like I'm like questioning, like, do I have any humanity left?

Do I.

Where.

Where is my emotions?

And like, I went to see my.

My psychiatrist and she, like, looked at me.

She's like, how was, you know, her things with the baby?

You know, how are you doing with that?

I was like, honestly, I feel less anxious after the baby.

Which just makes me think that maybe Zolof doesn't help with anxiety.

It just dehumanizes you and desensitizes you, which I think that might be.

It's like, it helps with everything else around you, but not your actual self.

Oh, yeah.

I am now like the Grinch.

So.

Yeah, no, I am the least.

People were saying I'm the least helicopter parent of all time.

I call BS on all of this because, Chris, please, you have a device that keeps you up at night monitoring if the baby is breathing and on the correct side of the bed and how many beats per minute.

I let that machine do the worrying for me, right?

Yeah, but how many sleepless nights did you have?

Because maybe the batteries ran out.

There's no batteries.

I even.

I even hooked that thing up to a backup battery unit.

Scott.

I thought of everything.

So I don't think I'm a helicopter parent.

I think I'm a tank parent.

Right?

I come in from the ground, right?

I'm not hovering over.

I could come in from sizes.

We're talking.

I start laying, I start waging war.

Right?

The tank.

I start waging war against any potential anxieties that I might have.

Right?

So I'm buying.

I'm buying the backup unit.

I bought a generator.

Generator.

It was $750 on Amazon.

I'm still paying it off.

And I bought a generator to power the router, the WiFi router and the camera.

So if the power goes out, first of all, I also set an alarm on my phone that if the power gets, if the wifi gets disconnected, it will call Emily.

So wi fi gets disconnected from my phone, it triggers a chain reaction call Emily, wakes her, I don't have to deal with the baby, but it will wake her up.

Just to let her know that, hey, the baby monitor might have stopped.

Go check on it.

Yeah, so I, I'm a very ground, tactical approach with the baby.

It's like I think two steps ahead and I, I wage war against overthinking.

So I don't overthink.

I under, I underthink.

Right?

I underthink.

Gotcha.

But it's kind of crazy how I told a story last week about how I was opening garbage pal kids and on the other side of the Couch was my 5 month old baby hanging out by herself.

And then you thought I was a helicopter parent.

Well, okay, in all, peeling back behind.

The curtain, I can even fit in a helicopter.

I had this topic picked out before you told the barrel roll off the couch story, and I was convinced that you were a helicopter parent.

Yeah, no, actually, and you know what?

You knew me before my anxiety medicine.

I, you know, very, very good guess that it would be me to be the helicopter parent.

But no, I, I, I'm very, I'm very like, Emily gets mad at me because of how much I just let my daughter cry and whine just for like a couple minutes.

Not like 10 minutes or 20 minutes.

I, I think it builds character.

Yeah, it suits them to sleep.

It's fine.

I looked it up.

I chat GPT it.

Chat GBT has never been wrong.

Yeah, never.

They're about, Chat GPT is about, you know, it's like the new, it's a new Google.

You just, you just ask it a question.

And here's the new Google.

Right?

So, yeah, no, So I chat GPT.

I chat GPT everything.

It's probably why I don't, I have a catalog of chat GBT answers about parenting.

It's probably why I'm, I'm like an AI parent.

Okay.

All right, our next, our next contestant on are you a helicopter parent?

Sarah, let's go to you.

So my guess for you is you are the exact middle of a helicopter parent because you are the girl's best friend.

Yes, I would actually say exactly that.

I was trying to think back and forth, but I would say I'm probably right down the middle because I want them to Go out and do their thing.

And, like, I'm really not.

I don't filter myself very much.

And we let them learn all about the world and figure things out on their own.

But, I mean, if they're not right next to me and I'm looking around, I.

Yeah, I'm freaking out, you know?

Yeah, for sure.

Nailed it.

Okay, now Nick.

Nick is on the other extreme and is not a helicopter parent at all.

How.

So how do you feel?

Because you let Piper be Piper and kind of wander a bit and explore.

Her surroundings, which is surprising because we had the outlet, I think it was called outlet.

It's kind of the same thing that Chris had when Piper was a baby, where we were watching the heartbeat and everything.

It wasn't.

As technology advances, you guys have it nowadays, I guess.

It's only been seven years, so a lot's changed.

We.

We did all that for.

We just tied two strings together or two cups together with a string.

That's all we did.

You're like, we can hear it.

You don't need a baby monitor.

Yeah, well, sorry, Darren.

He didn't even.

He didn't need to do that for you.

Right?

What's a.

What's a baby monitor?

I had to rely on the Archangel Michael to tell me what was going on with little baby Jesus.

Yeah, I mean, I thought I was going to be that way.

And I think, like Chris said, with medication, I felt like, changed me in a way that I'm like, everything's going to be fine.

Like, she.

I remember her climbing up a ladder when she was 10 months old.

And like, that was before she could walk.

She's climbing up a ladder and she's at the top and what.

What do I do?

I don't grab her.

I grab my phone to take a picture, and then I take this really cute picture and then I'm like, okay, now let's get down just to be safe.

So, yeah, we've kind of let her just wander on her own and explore.

And I think she's a very comfortable person because of that.

Okay.

All right.

Any guesses on me?

Ooh, I think.

I think you forgot you had kids.

Darren.

You can't get.

You gotta go last.

Okay.

Heard.

I think that you lean towards.

You lean towards helicopter.

I think that you lean towards helicopter, but you're reluctant to do.

So you don't want to be a helicopter parent, but something deep inside you makes you be a helicopter parent.

Okay, Sarah, do you agree?

Disagree.

What are your thoughts?

I agree, but I think you're probably More helicopter parent to the girls.

Interesting.

All right, Nick.

Yeah.

I feel like with the first one, probably not the second child, maybe a little bit more.

And I feel like the third one was like, I got this parenting thing down now, so it's like I need to fix what I might have not done right with Darren.

All right, Darren, what are your thoughts?

Am I a helicopter parent or no?

Well, first off, hi, I'm Darren.

I've never been on this podcast before, so, you know, nobody knows who I am.

Yeah, that's true.

You've never been on parents night out.

My bad.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, yeah.

Darren's my son, everybody.

You have a son.

I thought you were a girl.

Allegedly.

I had no idea.

We almost called the show girl dad, too.

Well, since he forgot about me until I turned 21 years old.

Oh, my God.

He was.

He was not a helicopter parent for me at all.

I ran the streets when I was in high school.

Abby doesn't get away with anything.

She.

He is very much a helicopter parent with Abby.

Okay, like, continue.

No, I lost.

I lost the thought.

What is going on downstairs?

You know?

Okay, you know, I wasn't going to talk about this tonight, but, you know, what a perfect opportunity.

So we had to put one of my dogs down.

Okay.

And it was very sad.

It was awful.

I don't want to talk a bunch about it, but the one regret that I have in this process of putting the dog down is that I didn't.

Didn't let the other dog see what we were doing so that I could be like, hey, you're next.

Keep it up, motherfuckers.

But the company actually offered a two for one special.

We turned it down.

Yeah.

We put one on layaway.

Put the dog down.

They're used to.

You're usually used to laying the pipe down on them.

Take the pipe out of the situation.

So, okay, so here's my thoughts on my style of parenting.

Okay.

I think for Darren, I was very helpful.

Helicopter.

I didn't let him do anything outside of the bubble wrap.

I was very, very protective.

You didn't change his diaper till he was, like, six.

That's true.

That's true.

Michaela, she does whatever she does about Michaela.

She's the middle child.

Everybody forgets about the middle child.

And then Abby.

I don't know Abby.

Am I a helicopter parent?

Oh, she says yes, so I guess I'm very quick.

Yes.

That was a very quick yes.

Yeah, but you.

She went off and did Halloween by herself.

I.

I let her watch movies with schlongs in them.

Oh, my God.

She's 21.

I'm.

I'm not overly, like, protective.

You have to get more involved with Abby than you did when I was her age, slash into high school.

Oh, yeah.

You were your mother's problem.

I know this, you know?

Yeah.

My mother was like, a whole state away.

So tell us how you really feel.

Just let it all out.

This is therapy.

Not yet I'm not.

I'm like, only a half a canon.

All right, so.

So there you have it.

Chris is not a helicopter parent.

Sarah's in the middle of being a helicopter parent.

Nick is kind of, but kind of not.

And apparently I'm.

I am.

So there you.

There you have it.

Speaking of being very protective of one's children and all that, I'm happy to say that Chris has gotten rid of his aunts.

All ants are gone.

Yeah.

So, you know, I didn't.

I haven't talked about this for about a year now.

The ants have retreated.

They did make one final push a couple weeks ago, and we took them out swiftly.

We killed suckers and losers like a dog, so.

Oh, my gosh.

I hope you didn't think I meant.

I hope.

I hope you didn't think I meant.

You're good.

You're fine.

There was a.

It was a quote.

Do you ever see the video of Obama talking about killing the terrorists?

That Trump killing the terrorist?

And then Obama's like, we have terminated assault.

And then Trump's like, we killed him like a dog.

That's what I.

That's.

That's.

That's what I was meant.

And then as soon as I said it, I was like, oh, my God.

I hope you didn't think that was a joke.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my God.

Alex, cut that.

Okay.

Wow.

Never accidentally made a really offensive joke like that before.

Well, it's probably once or twice, but.

Anyway, so I do it every day per episode.

Wow.

So one final push by the ants.

They're done.

They called in reinforcements.

So apparently, apparently, you know, we have allies.

We have allies, you know, across.

Around the world of Canada.

We have Israel, we have England.

Well, the ants apparently have fleas.

You know who doesn't have fleas?

My dead dog.

Oh, my God.

Holy.

That's fact track.

It's true, actually.

True.

Those things were incinerated right off.

That's how you get rid of fleas, Chris.

I've got.

Writing all this down, actually.

Now I'm starting to get offended.

Okay.

Yeah.

So I never saw a flea in my Life.

Still haven't, actually, but I'll explain that later.

We are at.

We were out a couple weeks ago and we get a text from the groomer that we take our dog to.

Because we don't have a mobile groomer.

We're not flush like that like Scott.

So we had to take our, take our dog to the groomer.

I just got a 25 discount from my groomer.

Oh, God.

And the dogs are pissed too.

So I got a text from the groomer that she found a couple of fleas on our dog.

And Emily starts freaking out immediately.

I didn't, I was, we were at actually full transparency.

We're at a flea market.

I'm looking at Pokemon cards, so I could care less.

I got the baby in one arm now because Emily's texting ferociously and I got the baby in one hand.

I got like Pikachu's in the other.

So I'm looking through the cards.

She's talking about fleas.

I don't know what fleas do.

I just know that they exist in life.

I have no idea what kind of business they do.

I don't know what kind of things they do.

So anyway, Emily's freaking out.

She comes home, incinerates the house of the fleas, eviscerates the house of the fleas.

I don't know why my mom went to mine, went there.

So Scott's planting all these horrible seeds.

So we're good.

The fleas are gone.

There's no longer on my dog.

She's got a buzz cut now.

And thank you for your service.

Until a few days ago, I did actually give her a buzz cut because we took her to IHOP today, the free meal.

I walked, I walked in, I walked into IHOP today and I said, you're the free meal for veterans, right?

Yeah.

When did you serve?

I said, call of duty.

Modern Warfare 3 prestige.

So anyway, so the other day, I'm out to dinner with King Mike X and Emily texts me and says, need your help.

It's at 7:30 at night.

I'm like, can't really help eating this burger and drinking this beer, but what do you need?

And so when I came home, we, I, I helped her clean the whole living room.

She found a flea.

And I, I just don't understand the overreaction of the fleas.

I don't get it.

I still haven't seen one.

So I don't even know if these things exist.

I, you know, I've learned to coexist with ants.

I don't see Why?

I can't learn to coexist with fleas.

They are so annoying.

They will eat the.

Out of your ankle.

They are so hard to get rid of.

Okay, okay.

And I think about hairy guy Chris.

So, yeah, I, like, I'm shocked that this is the first time that you personally have had fleas.

I.

But think about it, think about it, think about it.

So, okay, worst case scenario, the fleas are here.

Oh, the fleas are in the house.

They've infested.

There's thousands of.

They bite your ankles.

That's it.

Well, they can.

Lyme disease, I think now.

I think that's a.

I think that's a.

But think about liberal propaganda.

Oh, that is what they'll do to the baby.

They might just bite your ankle.

But her ankle is like, this big.

She'll never remember it.

But okay, but in all seriousness, your dog could ingest this and then it becomes a.

Like a tapeworm or something.

Yeah, I don't think that's how.

I don't think that's how that works.

That's exactly how it works.

So tapeworms are from fleas.

There's a type of worm that is the flea that has evolved.

The flea evolves into a worm of some sort.

Chris, take it from him.

He's got a dead dog.

That's true.

So I need to fact check this.

I just asked Chatgpt what the percent chances that my dog digests a flea and it turns into a tapeworm.

Likelihood is relatively high.

Oh.

Oh, thank you.

Wow.

There you go.

However, the exact percentage chance varies based on factors whether the flea actually contains the tapeworm larva and the overall health of your dog.

So I don't have any problems there.

She's relatively healthy.

Okay.

So is Donald Trump.

I.

She does drink a lot of diet Coke, so maybe.

So speaking of which, is it just me, or is anybody else praying for a heart attack before inauguration Day?

Just putting that out there.

I mean, I'm.

I'm praying for anything, like, for you.

To have a heart attack.

I'm a Canadian citizen.

That's true.

It'll be fine.

I'm just glad my sewer sale did not go through, Scott, which I don't know if he talked about on the podcast, so we should probably cut that anyway.

But the fleas are here.

I said, I'm just glad that my sewer sale didn't go through.

That was my big ticket on my ballot.

Oh, we'll get there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We'll get there.

We'll get there.

Yeah, yeah.

Guess who Won't American water never get here?

So anyway, yeah, so, like, okay, big whoop.

The fleas come.

They come.

They bite my ankle a couple times.

I'm not too worried.

Bring on the fleas.

But they actually probably won't care because we gassed the whole house.

The whole.

The whole house is gassed completely.

Just.

I don't know that you can say that on this podcast.

We.

You can't talk about gassing anything.

I feel like.

I feel like anything.

I feel like we're allowed to say anything at this point now that after the election.

So we exterminated.

Nothing's.

Sarah, please help Chris with appropriate words that he can use in this scenario.

Everything's offensive.

He said goodbye to the bugs peacefully and asked them nicely to leave his house.

They have parted ways with me indefinitely.

So, speaking of bugs, guys, speaking of bugs.

Killing bugs, extermination of bugs.

So weird thing happened the other day.

I.

Emily sprayed for the ants, which killed them.

She sprayed around the house.

This.

I don't know, insecticide.

But anyway, so the next day she goes out and there's thousands of dead bugs.

Rest in peace.

One of those dead bugs was a black widow spider.

Do you guys know what that is?

Yes, we do.

Scarlett Johansson.

Yeah, Black widow.

And so instantly, it's dead.

So I instantly picked it up and put its fangs on me, trying to get powers.

So, no.

So Emily puts it in a little jar and she texted to me.

She's like, oh, my gosh, it's a black widow.

It's not.

That's not a black widow.

Stop.

And it is.

It's, in fact, a black widow.

It has the red hourglass and everything.

Why did you put it in a jar?

Science experiments.

I think she.

Yeah, so it gets weirder.

So the glass jar is, like the least weird part of the story, actually.

So.

So she puts it in a glass jar with the lid on it.

And.

Of course not.

Her name is Bernice.

So Bernice is in this jar now.

And a day goes by.

It's actually 36 hours.

At least.

At least a day and a half.

You know how you get ants leave a dead insect around?

Oh, yeah.

That's probably why we have so many ants.

We killed all the people, the things that eat them.

So I gotta get an aardvark or something.

So.

No, actually, it's not an aura, because an anteater.

Yeah, it's literally called an ant eater.

Right, Right.

No, they're two different things.

Okay.

Both start with A's.

I don't see color.

So it's very hard for me to differentiate between ant eaters at aardvark.

So, anyway, black widow is in a.

I got very.

A very small jar.

Not a lot of oxygen in there for this dead black widow.

I come downstairs the next morning, and I'm like, wait a second.

Toy Story could be real.

Wake up.

And like, the toys in a different thing.

I wake up, and this dead spider is now in a different position.

Oh, right.

So, like, it's an inanimate object now.

It's coming to life.

So I start shaking it.

It starts walking around.

So now, first of all, how is it breathing in there?

Do spiders breathe?

I assume they breathe.

I assume they breathe.

So how is it breathing in this little jar that's airtight?

So now I start to feel bad.

I start to feel bad because now we tried to kill this thing with the insecticide.

It has survived.

I feel like I owe it another chance at life.

Do you know why the insecticide didn't kill it?

No.

Because a spider is an arachnid.

You have to use arachnicide.

No.

Oh, no.

Chatgpt said, that's bullshit, Scott.

I just looked it up.

So naturally, I was like, I can't let this thing out my house.

Usually if I catch a spider inside, I throw it out the door.

But now this thing could kill my dog.

Right?

Oh, gosh.

I keep bringing this up.

But anyway, so.

And you know what that's like, Scott?

We can't have that happen.

So I.

I literally put the.

The black widow, Bernice, in my passenger seat, and I drove it down the street to the forest, and I take the lid off and I dump it.

And at first, it didn't go out, so I shook it, right, and totally lost the spider.

And for, like, five seconds, I was freaking out, thinking, oh, my gosh, is it on?

Is it on me?

Is it on me?

Kind of wondering what it would be like to be bit by one, but at the same time thinking, I do have a daughter now, and I do owe her a more.

A more honorable death.

So.

So I did watch it.

I supervised it crow into the forest.

But, yeah, so I don't know, bird, anybody else on this earth that caught a venomous, potentially fatal spider and then just released.

I.

I said.

I said to my mom, I was like, why didn't you just kill it?

It didn't choose to be venomous.

It was born that way.

And I felt like Lady Gaga as I.

I was blasting Born this way, as I went to release this spider.

So if I did do that now, it would have been illegal because catching the release is now illegal.

It's very funny.

But anyway.

Yeah.

So there's a black widow.

Deadly black widow spider somewhere down the street now, though.

That's my neighbor's problem.

But it's not dead.

Oh, God.

Yeah.

Speaking of making.

Was that it?

Wow.

No, sorry.

I was going to transition.

He knocked on my door the next day, actually, and came back.

So it's been this kid swinging around.

Shooting webs out of his.

Out of his wrist the past few days.

Sure.

It's totally unrelated, though.

So do you still have fleas?

I don't think so.

I put a light bulb out, and there's none under the light bulb.

Well, that's good.

That's good.

Yeah.

What?

I don't know.

I just looked it up.

Chat put a light bulb out in the middle of the room.

Just a random light bulb.

Yeah.

Turn the light bulb on.

Or you just.

I just figure, like, if that's actually a good question, I probably should plug it in.

Huh?

Or maybe.

Maybe you're supposed to stand there, like, one leg in the air and hold it up with your right hand, but facing to the north.

Yeah, I'll try that tonight after we get off.

I'll try that for a few hours.

No, I just assumed that I came downstairs and they were doing, like, a cult ritual, holding hands, skipping around the light.

The light bulb, that.

That, like, that's how they would be.

Yeah, you definitely have fleas if that happens.

Oh, boy.

So speak.

Speaking of, that's your neighbor's problem.

So there was a major vote in your community, Chris, this.

This election term, like very presidential election.

Very important things on the ballot.

The presidential election.

Yes.

Which, by the way, one of my conservative friends put on Facebook, like, after he hired his.

What, the Secretary of state or the chief of staff.

Chief of staff.

And it's a woman.

It's like, oh, look, glass roofs being busted and all that.

And I'm like.

That's like saying, I'm not racist.

I voted for Obama.

Like, come on.

Anyway, so.

But there was a lot of major things on your ballot, as were ours, but yours probably had the biggest.

So you want to.

You want to talk about that real quick?

Yeah.

I mean, the stuff on your brow wasn't nearly as important as mine.

I know you had something like, I don't know, abortion or something.

I don't know, Legalization.

Marijuana.

Yeah.

Marijuana as well.

Yeah.

Congratulations on that.

I'm sure that pass with flying colors.

It did not.

It did not.

No.

Nope.

Failed.

Even though it had the majority vote.

It had the majority vote failed.

But don't worry, we can hunt any game and fish in the state of Florida.

Perfect.

Yes.

We can hunt some.

Hunt some hunt and gather some mushrooms.

But anyway, so on my ballot there was the sale for the sewer utility, which, you know, 10 years ago, I'd be like, you know, that's the dumbest thing of the.

Laughing at my parents for.

For supporting, thinking that was that big of a deal.

I have a house now.

I.

I pay a sewer utility bill.

How much is it?

I have no idea.

It comes out of my checking account.

Comes out of something every quarter.

But I read on Facebook, which is 100% reliable all of the time, that if the sewer utility was sold, our rates would go up exponentially.

And the main reason why I voted against the sale of the sewer utility is because the township told me to vote yes, like, for the sale.

Okay.

And like, I don't know, something's a little fishy about, like, imagine the government texting you and be like, make sure you vote for this.

Like.

Like.

Like.

Yeah, when the government's telling me to do something, I usually do the opposite.

Yeah, right.

I got a conservative newsletter of, like, what to vote for, so I voted.

For all the opposite.

The.

The.

My general rule of thumb is the people that.

That charge me taxes on everything, I usually decide against what they tell me to do, especially when they tax me on those things, and then I never get anything in return for them.

So anyway, they.

The big pitch.

I got the big pitch a couple days before.

Before the election from the township.

They sent out a piece of paper to everybody, which is probably a tax write off.

So they're pretty scummy, though.

I probably paid for that.

That to be.

Paid that to be.

Didn't text you a million times like they arrested.

Oh, my God, they did.

They texted me a million times and then they sent a letter in the mail just in case I didn't get the text.

I don't.

I miss those texts.

Those are the only texts I get in a day.

So I'm feeling very alone right now.

The.

Normally I would snuggle up to Brantley, but he's not here anymore, so.

Oh, my God, is that the dog.

You just put down?

Yeah.

Yes.

Oh, my gosh.

Sorry.

To clarify the letter that they're.

They're big push their big pitch.

They said, here's all the reasons you should vote against the sale.

I would vote for the sale of the sewer.

365 day a year, sewage cleanouts.

If your sewage gets blocked, which is something the township already offers.

Okay, so that was the first thing.

The second thing was it will get the township out of debt.

I didn't put you in debt.

Why, why, why would I vote?

Like, okay, I go to the polling station and I see.

And I'm thinking, oh, my gosh, this would be so great if a township could get out of debt.

Like, what?

I have.

No, I have no problem with already on my.

The one of the highest property taxes in the country.

You know, let's.

Let's get this township out of debt.

Let's get the.

I'm sure they accidentally spent the money.

Can we just go on a ballot ourselves and be like, I need out of debt.

Like, can you guys vote for it?

Can I do that now, too?

Darren, I'll nominate you if you'd like.

Oh, thank you.

The third thing, potentially lowering or freezing property taxes.

I was like, that's the most thing ever.

Potentially lowering or freezing property taxes.

Okay.

So it was a big no for me, dog.

And it was a big no from an overwhelming 75 of the population as well.

I am hearing whispers that they're still going to sell it anyway.

And that was just kind of like a.

A kind of just like public approval type thing.

So we will.

We will touch base on that when that happens.

But before we do, you know what.

You guys didn't vote for this time?

What?

The fact that my rights are.

My rights are probably gonna be taken away.

So you know what?

I'm gonna just enjoy it while I can.

Move.

I'm gay.

Nick's on the mic, so it's time to take notice.

And if you don't like it, that's homophobic.

Stay the hell out of his way.

Move.

I'm gay.

I don't know if we could play that song anymore.

I think we can.

Until January 20th, I think is when the transition, which apparently they don't call it transitioning anymore.

Yeah, you can only do that in elementary schools, I think is what he said.

No, you send your kids to school, they come back mutilated again.

I'm like, I just want my child to read right now.

But I just wanted to.

I just want you to move because I'm done talking about politics and you're voting.

So let's talk about me being gay and a cheer coach.

Yes.

How is the cheer coaching going?

You haven't asked, so thank you for asking because it's.

It's going Good.

We had our very first official competition.

So last week I talked about it.

We had an expo the week before.

We did amazing.

We had our first competition.

We got eighth place.

Oh, nice job.

Out of eight, that's my favorite number.

So.

Yeah, it's.

We did really.

I think we did good.

I mean, it's first and second graders and getting their attention for three minutes is.

It's very difficult.

Well, seven other teams had their attention just fine.

Yeah, we.

We had good scores.

It might be a homophobic thing.

Maybe they saw a male coach and they're just like, can't, can't do it anymore.

I don't know.

That's totally.

Just not gay enough.

Maybe I need to be gayer.

I didn't have my glitter on this week.

That's why.

That's why last week I had facial glitter.

So that's what I was missing.

Is that what we call it now?

Oh, for the cheer competition.

I'm sorry.

For the first school stuff, we have to call it facial glitter.

And that's the topic or the highlight of the episode.

We.

We did good.

It was fun.

There was literally.

There was eight teams of minis there.

Like, that's a lot of first and second graders cheering.

Yeah.

And.

And I'll be honest, like ours, I think our difficulty level of music that we had was a lot harder.

Some other schools decided to choose a one minute song.

We went with two minutes.

Oh.

So to be fair, I feel like we had.

So you bored the judges.

We had better music.

We had.

Oh, we had Disney music.

And we're the only ones too that had Disney music.

So let me picture it.

2024 at a cheerleading competition.

All these kids that are in first and second grade, they're doing remixes of Gwen Stefani, Britney Spears, Spice Girls, Great Escape.

And there was.

Not that.

That would have been a good one.

Maybe we'll change it for this weekend.

Please.

You'll get in seventh place.

At least we did Disney.

And it was like a Disney medley of fun songs.

And this was your first problem.

You're playing Disney songs in a red state.

Republicans hate Disney.

But Ohio people love Disney.

Is that part of your contract of being earmarked?

You have to work?

Yeah, I have to work Disney and wherever I can.

So, yeah, it was hard to tell the kids that we didn't win a trophy.

They all got participation awards.

It's all about having fun.

And as long as we had fun, it was all that mattered.

And I have some awesome videos of me dancing with the kids while we're Waiting for the announcements to be called.

We had lots of meltdowns that morning.

Kids were crying because their makeup itched or they just wanted to see their.

Parents or someone looked at them funny.

Somebody looked, yeah.

It was everything.

Anything and everything.

So it's, it's been a, it's been a struggle, but it's been a fun journey.

Hopefully we have our very last competition this weekend and it is on Piper's birthday, which is amazing.

So I feel like that should be a bonus point there.

But you have to lie and tell her they came in first.

Oh, yeah.

I'm just going to tell her and I'll buy her.

I'll buy her a trophy.

Can Amazon somebody Amazon me one real quick.

It's getting delivered to our house.

Else.

Yeah, it's been a lot of fun.

I mean, I'm sad because it's.

This next competition is our very last cheerleading for the season.

So we'll be taking a break until next summer.

You've only had three.

We had three competitions.

What?

We did the entire football season, too.

Oh, okay.

So it was football, football season and a competition.

Now they're getting the basketball season, which we're taking a break because I, I need, I need a life a little bit.

I missed having friends talking to you guys.

I feel like I haven't seen you in months because of cheerleading has evolved my life, my daughter's life.

So I'm excited for a break, but I'm loving it, though.

Awesome.

Well, enjoy that break.

Thank you.

I will enjoy it while I can.

And hopefully I'm still allowed to be gay after January 20th.

I hope so.

Stay tuned.

All right, let's check in with Giles Garmin, see what's up with him.

And now it's time for the more you know.

And here's your host, Giles Garman.

Hello, Giles Garmin here, letting you know that on the next episode of in the Disneyverse, you can hear all about the first ever films made by Walt Disney.

That's right.

Before there was a mouse, there was a rabbit.

And before there was a rabbit, there was a cat.

And before that.

Well, you'll have to listen to the episode of into the Disneyverse to find out all about that.

One of the interesting things noted about Oswald the lucky rabbit is how often he tries to find romantic connections with individuals other than his direct romantic connection in the film.

The type of thing that you often need to take off the summer to try to figure out.

We're getting side reeled.

As a reminder, you can go ahead and check out into The Disneyverse on all podcasting platforms.

That's D I Z N E Y V E R S e.

And that's all from me, Giles Garmin.

Thank you, Giles Garmin.

And you can check out Chris and game master Ryan and sophisticated gentleman.

And Alex, our producer on every episode of the Disney Verse.

So, Sarah, right before we started recording, you had some excitement in your neighborhood.

I thought.

I got very excited because I thought I heard the ice cream truck, which only comes on Thursdays, so it was going to be an anomaly, but I was.

I was very excited for it.

Sarah, sounds like you got ice cream cooked.

They tricked you.

They did.

They did.

Was it there?

No.

So no, we didn't have an ice cream.

No.

Lewis had some music playing that.

I still want to know what it was that it made me think.

It was the ice cream truck.

Gasolina by Daddy Yankee.

No, I know that one real well.

So, Sarah, what is your go to ice cream?

Chocolate ice cream, Peanut butter sauce, hot fudge, chocolate sprinkles from the ice cream truck.

What?

Yes.

I've never heard of an ice cream truck that has, like, soft serve.

Oh, usually they pass out like plastic popsicles.

No, no, no.

Okay, so we have an ice cream shop that's around the corner from us and they make homemade ice cream and one night out of the week they have the truck that goes around.

And I.

This is just another reason why I love that we moved out here, because we don't get ice cream trucks in apartment complexes.

So Sarah just waits for her cream one day a week.

Got it.

First of all, I don't have to wait for anything.

Okay.

Just look up and I got it.

Seven days a week as she sips her coffee or whatever with like a frog, like spread eagle on her cuff there.

What's going on with that?

Actually, that does look a little funny now that we're looking at it like that.

It is a frog.

It's a co key frog from the bedroom.

It's a cocky.

That was a really bad joke.

I'm sorry.

It's.

I mean, it was accurate.

It works.

I need this kind of excitement of ice cream in my life.

Like, I would get excited for that ice cream truck.

Ours is like a creepy old van that drives around playing creepy music, selling a popsicle with gumballs for the eyeballs.

I love those, though.

The spongebob one or the Captain America one?

Did when I was six.

Yes.

Because Spider man has two gumballs and.

The face is always like the one gumball's like up here.

And the Other one's like, down here.

Yeah, it melded at one point.

It's fine.

It's fine.

Fine with that.

And the flavoring is so good.

It's not like.

It's not like your regular popsicle that's like watered down.

This is like, I don't know, like frozen frosting.

It's amazing.

Sarah sounds better.

What other do they.

So is it like a full ice cream bar?

Basically.

Then like everything.

Ice cream sandwiches, homemade shakes, root beer floats, like the whole thing.

They even do like, homemade ice cream tacos.

Those have it.

Those have a name, don't they?

So they have like homemade ones.

Yes.

And if you want to book your trip to Florida, contact me at same.

I am about to head down there just for this ice cream.

There you go.

And only 45 minutes from Disney.

So, you know, that's a win.

Win.

You got to add that in there.

We know this.

I'll hear the.

There's one specific ice cream truck that comes in my neighborhood that plays like the traditional ice cream truck song, but it's like a remix.

And it's like that.

I'm not a very good beatboxer, but that's essentially the song.

That's like the tick tock remix of.

Of Beethoven or Mozart or whoever.

Yeah, exactly.

The song's fair, Elise, but it's a remix.

It's a t.

Yeah, TikTok version of it.

So when I know that that one's there, I turn off all my lights and pretend I'm not home.

Because I did go outside for that one one time and they're.

The cheapest thing they had was like 20 bucks.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, but it was like.

It was like acai bowls.

But it was so good.

It was so sweet.

That's why they're driving through your neighborhood.

That's true.

That's true.

Yeah.

They don't have any choco tacos on.

On that truck.

I would kill for a choco taco.

I'm depressed.

Who isn't depressed?

Nick, what's your.

What's your go to ice cream on the ice cream truck?

I mean, if we're talking Sarah's ice cream truck, that's like chocolate peanut butter is my flavor.

I don't know.

I.

I like the classic, like the red, white and blue ones.

Oh, the firecracker ones.

The bomb pops.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, the bomb pops.

Yeah.

Well, no, we're.

Never mind.

Is it better?

I like a good ice cream sandwich, but our ice cream sandwiches are like the pre made ones, so they're not Fancy.

Oh, not the homemade.

Yeah.

Now, Chris, you can only pick one because I know your go to would be yes.

Or just the ice cream truck.

What is your one?

Gun to your head.

You can only pick one chocolate milkshake.

Oh, yeah.

I'm a milkshake guy.

Does it bring all the boys to the yard?

I try.

I'm right.

I try my hard.

I try my.

I'm a milkshake guy, too, Chris.

My favorite time of year is around St.

Patrick's Day at McDonald's.

Oh, my gosh, the shamrock shake.

My sister text me as soon as it's there.

Shamrock shake.

I also.

I can eat peanut butter from the jar, so I love getting peanut butter milkshakes with vanilla ice cream, so it just tastes like I'm drinking a.

A peanut butter jar.

A peanut butter jar.

A peanut butter jar.

A jar of peanut butter.

There we go.

A jar of peanut butter.

I almost had it.

I almost had it.

Sarah, you don't like the shamrock shake?

No, because I don't like that mint syrup that they add.

I'm a for it.

Well, that mint syrup doesn't like you either.

Like.

Well, then that's fine, because screw the shamrock shake.

I would.

I would.

I would definitely screw a shamrock shake.

I'm a shamrock shake slut.

Chick Fil.

A peppermint milkshake with the chunks of peppermint in it.

Come on.

I know, I know.

I.

I'm not allowed to shop at Hobby Lobby because they're anti Semitic.

But, you know, we sometimes.

You are certain.

There are certain reasons that we go to certain places.

And Chick Fil.

A's got the peppermint milkshake.

Those Christians make great chicken.

Yeah, they do.

I tried the shamrock shake for the first time last year since I was probably a teenager.

It's awful.

I don't remember it being.

I thought it was good.

I remember when I was good, but maybe it's just because.

Is it the one time of year that the shake machine works?

Well, I only get one a year because it only works for, like, five minutes now.

Okay, Chris, are you a McFlurry guy or a milkshake guy?

Milkshake guy.

All the way.

Chocolate milkshake from McDonald's is like the.

Like the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden for me.

That's.

That's my vegetable, by the way.

Ice cream.

Yeah, but then the ice cream sundaes at McDonald's are not that good.

I love them.

The hot fudge sundaes.

Hot fudge sundaes from McDonald's.

Are elite.

But also, I don't know if this makes me a little gay or not.

Maybe not because it's cold, but I love, love that feeling of the milkshake sliding down my throat.

Like I have to chug milkshakes.

I love chugging the milkshakes.

Getting the feeling.

Sacrifice, the brain freeze.

Usually it's.

Usually it's warm when it goes on back your throat, Chris.

And then I get a tummy ache.

But it's all.

It's all part of the experience and I love it.

Tummy ache, back of my throat.

Maybe I.

So I'm not, I'm not that gay.

No.

If it's, if it's cold, you're not gay.

Okay.

All right, cool.

So, I mean, not cool.

I'm not homophobic, but I mean, like, I would definitely be open.

I mean, because I'm not homophobic.

That's what I'm trying to say.

Okay.

You have a gay friend.

I have a gay friend.

You guys ready to play Jersey Man?

Florida Man?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes.

I guess I don't like ice cream.

To be honest, Scott probably forgot you were here.

I think you did too.

Wouldn't be the first.

That makes me feel better this time.

These states are filled with people who suck, so it's time for us to.

Play New Jersey man versus Florida man.

Every week, game master Ryan brings us two news stories.

One is from New Jersey, one is from Florida.

It is up to us to decide which one is which.

Take it away, Ryan.

Hi, this is Ryan, you're in the field news reporter for the Paris Night out news team.

How about you, sir?

Apparently still dressed in your Halloween costume has GRU from Despicable Me.

You look upset.

Are you upset from the recent election or what is bothering you?

I'm Scott.

I've got three kids.

I've got two baby mamas.

I'm divorced, but also I am kind of an idiot.

It.

Wow, that's a.

That's a lot to take in there.

I'd be sad and depressed too.

You also mentioned that you had a.

You had a podcast.

What was the name of that podcast, sir?

Large Wallace and his squad.

Ah, well, by the by the looks of it, looks like you're playing Wallace in that particular program.

Sir, were you happy with the way the election went this year?

That's a three quarter of a million dollar home behind us.

Well, gee, sir, you could have just said yes.

You didn't have to brag.

About how big your house is.

Well, how do you feel about those that voted for Kamala, sir?

Dum dums and the suckers.

Well, that's about as mature as I expected you to be.

So how did you celebrate with Trump's win?

Schwarz in my face.

All right, well, that's one way to celebrate.

I don't think too many Trump supporters celebrated that way.

But you do you?

We're gonna move on to this homeless looking Peter Dinklage over here.

Sir, just for starters, do you have any clean underwear?

Pretty crusty, I'm not gonna lie.

Of course, sir.

The listeners at home can hear how smelly those are.