Have your life choices changed since leaving home? Do you feel like it took you longer to work out who you really are and what you care about than some of your non-Asian American peers?
For many of us, the academic pressure we experience during our school years as Asian Americans leaves us no time to explore our identity and gain a deeper understanding of who we are and what we want. As a result, many of us make choices about the next steps in our lives that aren’t rooted in our desires (more often in our parents).
In the final episode of Season 1 of the Asian Detox Podcast, TJ Wey discusses zir experience of a toxic high school, the behaviors and habits that were fostered, and how for many Asian Americans gaining an understanding of who they are and what they want from life only happens when they have emancipated themselves from their family and community of origin, highlighting:
- How growing up with the “model minority” stereotype as an Asian American can create a distressing experience of school that can leave scars
- How “negative pride” stops us from asking for help and other unhealthy behaviors instigated by the model minority stereotype
- The ambitious nature of Asian American kids and how it impacts our experience of education and ourselves
- How the identity quest typically experienced during teenage years is often deferred to a later time in life for Asian Americans due to the pressure we face during our school years
- The importance of balancing our ability to work hard with self-care and health-fostering lifestyle habits
“A lot of us changed dramatically from who we were in high school to who we are now. Some of us reclaimed our Asian names, some of us have come out since then - all of these things are things we should have been exploring when we were in high school and we didn’t have time, it wasn’t our priority - we pushed down our selves. We made ourselves so busy that we couldn’t be introspective, we couldn’t figure out who we were.”
TJ Wey
S1 E12, Asian Detox Podcast
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